#FollowFriday (2016) - full transcript

Studying on a Friday night.

Because I'm hardcore like that.

Fragile masculinity is adorable.

Like a teacup pig.

May I remind my opponents

of the distinction
between anonymous

and synonymous speak...

Uh...

Hey man, are you all right?

You see the moment he
realizes he's lost everything

and will never walk free
of humiliation again.



Hope he brought a change.
Crying emoji, crying emoji.

In light of recent events,

I am taking a social media
hiatus to focus on my studies.

Can everyone please leave?

Get out!

Masculinity so fragile,

you assert meaningless
dominance over public space.

Hey. Do you mind
using headphones?

Please.

Oh, God!

Are you okay?

Sorry, man. There's this
hilarious video

of this guy shitting his pants
at the debate tournament.

Yeah. He looks really familiar



and I just wanted to check.

Oh, where're you going?

May I?

Thank you very much.

Did you watch it? No.

It's not worth anyone's time.

I think we're
actually here early.

It's my worst nightmare.

Excuse me. This is quiet study?

My name is Patrick, but most
people call me "Pohprah."

It's a mixture between
Puff Daddy and Oprah.

Hey, I know I knew
you from somewhere.

Nice try, buddy,
but after the day I've had,

you're not even making a dent.

I just need my...
Has anyone seen my phone?

I need my phone. Have
you guys seen my phone?

Pohprah, do you think
they're doing,

like, a scavenger hunt
or something?

Read a fucking book.

It's Nabila, right?

I'm Dan.

Are you having a panic attack?

I'm fine.

Shitty night for me too.

Literally.

I'm a meme, now.

Pants-shitting
debate Republican.

That video has been up
for, like, 10 hours.

No escape.

But, you know...

Thanks for the reminder.

You know, it's weird to me
that you know who I am.

Sorry.

You know,
if it's any consolation,

total strangers know
my name now, too.

But neither of us
can sue for defamation

unless we can prove actual
malice, which is not easy.

All because we're public
figures now, arguably.

Because of this stupid stuff.

Great.

So, why did you?

Oh.

I, uh...

Might have been drunk,
but don't tell anyone.

Are you good?

I'm fine.

It just takes me a minute to...

I don't do so well
around crowds anymore.

I feel ya.

Oh, my God.

This is so annoying. Oh, my God.

Hey! Stop! I'm in here.

Hey! Stop! Stop!

Help!

Dan won't get a memorial

because there was no mass shooting
or manifesto or anything...

- That guys was messed up.
- I went to the...

This is really sad.

"Dead body on campus,
open call for deductions."

I should have gone
to an urban campus.

It's been a while
but it still hasn't...

Structural violence
and complicity

inside the social media
panopticon.

Why you shouldn't
share that photo.

If you haven't been
finger banged

in the Mick-Or-Mack parking lot,

were you ever really
a freshman here?

I'm trying a new highlighter

because I want to look
like an alien princess

but also a pure prism of light.

Do I still have to take a test?

I'm planning a great black
out for the football game.

I hope it gets approved.

I feel really bad
for making fun of that guy.

Okay, seriously, do I
still have to go to class?

I knew Dan. He was a nice, quiet kid.
It's a shame.

My class got interrupted
by a real, actual death.

Everyone used to stand here...

I wonder which one
is the rookie loose cannon

and which one is the veteran cop,
a month away from retirement.

All that matters
is that we get results here.

So, we all got an email
saying the meet-up location

for the annual retreat

had been changed to
Library Adjunct B103.

So this is the Gay Men's
Chorus Retreat?

We thought so, but we walked in

and it was chock-full of randos.

Rando. Rando. Rando.

Look, there's me.

Who took this?

You just want my help,
I'm not being detained,

nothing looks suspicious unless I
blow you off and go back to class.

I took a picture, I didn't
stab anybody to death.

You don't feel a little bad?

I don't feel bad.

In general.

I deleted Tinder
after all the...

It's my first day and I
already want to transfer.

My mom almost
took me out of school

because of that guy who got
killed, it was on Yahoo.

Did you know Dan?

Did you see
the picture of the body?

Sounds like the worst porn ever.
It's creepy.

This ends with
someone's head in a box.

Good morning.

I was thinking you'd cancel.

You know, with everything.

I always try to make
my students a priority.

Well, I mean, I would've been
okay if you had canceled.

I know you're skeptical
of these meetings

but I like to think they help.

How are you feeling?

Compared to when?

Compared to eight months ago.

Well, technically, I'm worse
than when the piece first ran,

because I didn't realize
I had ruined my life yet.

But I'm definitely
better than after that.

When, um...

When the basketball team
got suspended

from the tournament
after your article?

Yeah.

Are you still living at home?

Yeah, I'm getting to that.

I was doing better.

That is, until I found
a dead body on Friday.

I am deeply sorry
that happened to you.

The photo disturbed me.

Deeply.

Has everyone seen it now?

I could say
I'm just keeping tabs

on the things my students
are interested in,

but I'd be lying.

And after a week like this,
it is hard to be off Twitter.

I'm off Twitter.

Well.

Your grades are good.

No incidents.

I haven't had a death threat
on your behalf in...

A while.

So, I want to say our
school-mandated check-ins can end.

Clean bill of health.

What about my transfer?

Well, the schools you are
looking at are competitive.

Especially if you want to move
to another journalism program.

So, aim lower.

Or prove you can hit the target.

Admission officers love
a good comeback narrative.

Yeah.

We really
didn't talk about Friday.

My door is always open.

Thanks, but I don't
really think I'm gonna

trip over any more corpses
on my way out.

Famous last words, right?

Dean Flores?

Excuse me, Dean Flores?

I have Channel 4 and
Channel 6 about the death,

and a Detective Gray
wanting to speak with you

about a Shelton Bruni?

Shelton?

Uh, we better do
the detectives first.

Vote Allie Kosko.
Allie tries harder.

Have they even heard of kerning?

No. No one has but you.

It was definitely worth it

to get all of these reprinted.

Your trusted emissary
returns with ideas.

It's strategy time.

What do you have for me?

You're a maniac and you
should be ashamed of yourself.

It's disrespectful
to the victim, his family,

and to this school to
circulate a photo of his body.

Does this seem genuine, or
like I'm trying to be genuine

in a calculated way
to get more votes?

Yeah.

Wait, which does it sound like?

Piggybacking on a violent
crime for attention

should also be a crime.

I only see five retweets of
your latest Vote For Allie Kosko.

So I totes get where
this is coming from.

Being a bottom-feeding sociopath

doesn't automatically
make you good at politics.

Neither does having a face

your rich asshole husband
is so going to cheat on.

Don't care. Would smash.

Secretary Clinton
is an icon, I'm flattered.

BTW, the opportunist here

is the guy who posted a pic
of a dead person for likes.

Fist. Fire Emoji,
fire Emoji, hundred Emoji.

Mouse emoji.
Three-prayer-hands Emoji.

Everyone, click on her.

Hey.

Oh. Uh...

Hi.

Eric.

From the murder.

So, you actually
found him, right?

What was that like?

Traumatizing.

Even for me.

I was on your side
the whole time.

Sports fans suck.

My takeaway
was that people suck.

Well, hey.

Have you been on Twitter?

I don't have a Twitter anymore.

Thousands of hate-filled racist
misogynists after me last year.

So I, uh...

I actually threw my computer
and phone into the sea.

I mean, that's kind of awesome.

Here. This is what I get
for being hardcore.

Nice.

But to answer your question,

yes, I did see the gore porn.

I TA a class on coding,

so I'm always in the MARB

on the computers.

If you want to stare over
a consensual shoulder.

Maybe.

I have been learning

how useless our public
school computers are.

Mine are state-of-the-art
public school computers.

Only five years behind.

That sounds too good
for a T9 girl.

Shrill chiding at someone
who is good at social media

makes you sound bitter that no
one's paying attention to you.

Actually, my dad is a police
officer, and he says that...

Oh, good, deflect and derail
a woman's salient points.

That's 101 shit, my dude.

Like, 5% of the student body...

"Shrill, chiding, bitter"?

We're one "hysterical" away
from sexism bingo.

Hey, if you're almost done, I gotta
start setting up for tonight's show.

Hang on.

Did I miss something,

or did someone blow a dog
whistle for uptight bitches?

I'm dying.
I'm dead. Skull emoji.

Exercise is critical for
toning and feeling your best.

But if you're interested
in weight loss,

you need to focus
on what you eat.

One thing I do

is take a photo
of every single thing

I put in my body and post it.

That way I'll feel
too ashamed to eat pizza.

Good morning.

Um, hi. Are you following me?

Um...

Actually, you're the
one following me.

Uh, on Twitter.
You follow me on Twitter.

I saw your tweet
that you'd be here.

I didn't think I'd, uh...

I didn't think I'd see you
again, but here we are.

Yeah.

I just wanted to ask you if...

Okay, stop.

Ask what?

Ask if you'd get drinks with me.

That's it?

Yeah. I wanted to ask you
the old-fashioned way.

Oh.

Well, maybe. I'm pretty busy.

Calling women "uptight bitches"?

You've finally
out-pigged yourself.

Straight women of campus,
stay far away from this man.

Pig emoji.

Straight men of campus...

You know what?
Never mind. Y'all are safe.

Can I borrow your computer?

Sorry, AppleCare doesn't cover being
thrown into the ocean by a crazy lady.

The Titanic plan cost too much.

Don't be a jerk.

Hey, I'm just playing it safe.

I like taking care of my things.

Please?

It's Friday night, so you're probably
looking to google yourself and cry.

That's unhealthy.
I don't want you to do that.

For your information,
I'm working on a project.

It's not like I have to
wonder what you're gonna do

with your Friday night.

I like myself.

243 retweets on the second tweet
you did to Shelton this week.

People are definitely
into this drama.

And they're moderately into you.

You've created pockets who
don't find you abrasive or...

I'll care about whatever
you're saying in just a second.

I'm responding
to three constituents

who want to know
what I'm running for.

Well, you're getting
a bunch of Follow Fridays.

Those are kinda
like votes, right?

Straw polls.

Telling other people to follow Allie's
Twitter is at least an endorsement.

Awareness of you is very high,

but awareness of the student
council election is not.

Hey, who is this Vivian girl?

Actually, it's hilarious

that you would bring up
Marx right now because...

Okay, this is out of control.

Literally everyone at the
school is out of their mind.

I wish that I had
never said anything.

Shelton is in a-hole.

I don't identify as a feminist.

I'm just not offended
by a lot of stuff.

Then you won't get mad at me

for saying I want to turn you into
a pretzel and lick the salt off.

Great talk.

Before this week I didn't
think it was possible

to suck the fun
out of everything.

Sorry. Wrong person.

Hi.

I think you have
the wrong house.

Well... Sorry.

Have a good night.

Sorry.

Sometimes the only cure
for politics is shots.

You're really cute.

What the hell is going on?

You made it! Thank God.

How did you know about this?

The October party
isn't until next week!

James texted me.
He got the e-vite.

I send out house e-vites!

Hey, idiot!

Use the bigger knife.
In the cabinet!

Absolutely not!

Ugh! That's nasty!

Debra Flores,
Dean of Student Relations.

Yes, of course it's safe.

Yes. I can help withdraw
your daughter's enrollment.

So, this time we're going to
execute the same basic functions,

but you'll notice
this way is much quicker.

Here we go.

Dumb fight with socio Shelton
about literally nothing

that somehow lasts a whole week.

"I think Allie is
good student council."

"Everyone, click on her."

Completely neutral,
but completely creepy.

Twitter is fun.

All she did was call out
Shelton for being a ghoul.

Then she gets everyone
talking about her,

which seems like
exactly what she wanted.

Then she gets all this spam,
and then she gets killed.

Maybe it was Zayn Malik.

I want Zayn Malik to murder me.

That doesn't mean anything.

I want Zayn Malik
to cut off my face

and put it on his face as a
moisturizing mask on his spa day.

That is intimate.

Yeah, definitely.

Seems like they
just didn't know.

They were just following
what the e-mail said.

Or whatever, e-vite.

didn't spring for the

platinum network security
package or whatever.

You're writing a story?

No.

Maybe. This is just for me.

Why did you flag me down?

We were both there
when Dan got killed.

I like mysteries.

I don't like violence.

But sacred bond of
witnessing a murder.

Yeah, I don't have
any friends either.

So...

What now?

Hey.

You don't remember me, do you?

You're the girl from the thing.

Assuming you mean
the death of Dan Grimmer.

Don't you think
there was anything,

I don't know, weird about that?

What is this, Detective Club?

Let's all just stay in our lane.

Okay. I was just trying to help.

Help who?

Of course it was weird.

A man was stabbed to
death in the library

by an unknown person.

I'm just as traumatized as you

but I don't have
any special info.

You're big on Twitter, though.

I only have, like,
4,320 something followers.

Okay.

Look, I think that
the two killings

could be connected
through Twitter.

What? #murder?

That sounds like something a
38-year-old marketing guy comes up with

just before he gets fired.

Okay, never mind.

Sorry I bugged you.

Student journalist
claims basketball team

received cash gifts,
cars from alumni donors.

Amid controversy,

journalism student Nabila
Nariman retracts story

and resigns from position.

It's funny because
she clearly hates herself.

It's actually not funny

because she clearly hates
fat people.

FYI, it's definitely okay
with me if you're not a stick.

I'm not one of those guys.

Sorry if I came off
weird on Friday.

Are you ready to push?

Just a little bit harder.

Let me hear you say, "Yes!"

I have an extra large eggplant
for Darby Bell-Santos.

Wrong room.

No breaks.

I was told she'd be teaching
in Studio C, Tuesday morning?

Didn't order any pizza.

Coming up on intervals!

Can you just sign for it?
It's already paid for.

Stupid fitness instructors...

I think my Zumba instructor

was going through a break
up or something today.

Submerging my legs in ice.
#intense.

Take her class 9/11 A.M.,

Tuesdays, Thursdays, Studio C.

#feeddarby

Darby?

I didn't...

Daisy? Darly?

Ace's pizza. Here you go.

She has an anatomy
lab in the Clyde

at 10:00 on Fridays.
Send Dominos.

Is anyone checking
her Wednesday schedule yet?

Also, forget Dominos.

#feeddarby, and save
her from her miserable life.

Can whoever is sending
me pizzas please stop?

It's not funny.

If you follow me, you should
know that I don't eat pizza.

And this is really wasteful.

#feeddarby.

Says where I am at all times.

People watched me come here.

Yeah, look how many
fans you have.

Okay, that's not one.

I am such a failure.

I haven't even told
my mom I relapsed.

Have you considered
not telling her?

Hey! I have five pizzas here!

Hey, people are trying to sleep!

Mmm.

Thanks for letting me hang out.

I was hoping they
wouldn't find me here.

But I am straight up
being stalked.

Well, I'm only,
like, 50% monster.

And...

You're amazing.

Look, checking
your phone all the time

is giving you massive anxiety.

Deactivate Twitter and go free.

Okay. Okay.

It's a good idea.

If I'm not back for
my phone by 11:00,

send out a search party.

Be careful on that fire escape.

Um... I'm actually pretty
athletic and agile.

I tried to order myself
a pizza last night...

Anyone else think it's fucked up

that someone's followers
ordered unnecessary pizza...

and he hung up on me.
So, I'm sorry, Darby.

Is Twitter broken?
Because my whole feed

is about some random girl
who likes pizza.

It's, like, a really sad story,

except she might
actually kill herself.

The level of harassment
is out of control.

Hey, girl, call me ASAP.

540-555-6503.

Super-urgent,
concerned for your safety.

I'm not crazy.

Hope you're okay. Vivian Weiss.

Ow!

Oh, God.

It's got to be
up here somewhere.

Well, at this rate,

there's no way we're
gonna be able to find it.

I think this is a bust.

That Google alert was a fake.
We got taken in.

Marshall, come here.

Times up. Off your butt.
Give it back.

Where are you going?

Mom asked me to go to the store.

Hey. What?

Do you want any snacks
or anything?

Just get those
salty granola things.

Yeah.

Attention!
If you get Follow Fridayed

you will be their next victim.

Do not engage with,
or follow that account.

Obviously.

Where are you going? Nope.

I won't keep you.

I just want to know
if this was you.

How long did it take you

to figure out my Twitter handle?

Yeah. I'm a big old dork.

But I'm wondering
why you're trying to impede

an ongoing police investigation?

You mean, why did I warn people

I don't know, because I wanted

to broadcast a public
safety announcement

quickly and effectively.

Sorry if you tried
faxing it already.

I have been on e-mail
for 20 years, man.

I figured it out by
spending an hour on Twitter

after three people
had already died.

The County Sheriff's department

is treating Ms. Bell-Santos's
death as an accident.

Accidental impaling.

We can't comment on the details

of an ongoing
police investigation.

Well, clearly you're at least
watching Twitter. Finally.

We can't comment on the details

of an ongoing
police investigation.

Okay.

Well, I look forward

to reading about an arrest
in the morning paper

that a filthy servant boy
brings to me

on one of those
super-tall bicycles.

And then, when I get
back to this century,

I'll continue
to actually help people.

Bye.

I don't have an appointment.

Have you ever had
an appointment?

Your shoe is untied.

Dean Flores? Vivian Weiss?

You surprised me.

I am looking forward

to Friday's announcement.

It's a big step.

I had a 2 o'clock.

I had a 2 o'clock

to go over your talking
points for Friday.

That's right. I'm sorry.

I've had the Board of Trustees,

the police, parents calling me.

But I am trying to make students

my priority.

You're the reason I do this job.

And this is important.

Yes, Internet safety.
Online harassment.

Starting to sound like a
contradiction in terms, huh?

But, yes, I agree.
It is a big step.

Although murderous psychopaths

probably aren't deterred
by school rules.

Yes, but only systems
truly beget violence,

and you're changing the system.

I love your passion.

I love that it hasn't
been burnt out of you.

E-mail me the talking points

and I'll go over them
for Friday.

All that matters is that
this school is the first one

with an actual
progressive policy

against the online harassment
and abuse of women.

Thank you.

Testing. Testing.
This is Bob Woodward.

So, when do we upgrade
from person of interest?

He'll do something dumb.

Hey, I noticed in your write-up

that you didn't define
Follow Friday.

You're going to
have to fix that.

Oh, Gray, do you
need me to explain

what Follow Friday is?

It's like on Friday
you say, "Follow Friday"

and you post a bunch of accounts

you want people to follow.

Is there anything there?
I'm checking.

Blah, blah, blah.

These kids are into
some boring-ass shit.

In my day, we did blow
and crashed Trans Ams.

Well, it got us
out of the house.

Do we know this?

Oh, crap. Let's go.

Don't do that. That's not funny.

I am required
to make a verbal statement

regarding campus policy
changes that affect the school.

So here goes.

In light of recent events,

the administration has updated

our Internet policies
for the 21st century.

I know that, to you,
there is no barrier

between online interaction
and the real world,

it is the real world.

Ms. Weiss has been
an invaluable ambassador

between us old crypt keepers
and you young people.

An aging and out-of-touch
establishment

should defer to the youth
vanguard on matters of justice.

Let's unpack this.

So, here I am...

Hey, why do you
follow so many students?

So for instance...

Oh.

Okay, "Goody slore"?

Really?

Am I a goody goody
or am I a bad slutty whore?

Actually, you're a bitch.

If by that you mean
assertive, then, yes.

This is the opposite of what
we're trying to achieve here.

Effective immediately...

Man, people do not like
this Vivian girl.

I could have told you
that without reading.

Inappropriate behavior

perpetrated by
or against members

of the student body will be...

"Gunshots,
armed suspect at large."

"Students should gather
in Glassman Auditorium."

Wait, that's a horrible idea.

Everyone, stay calm.

This is a sign
that our alert system

is working,
which is a good thing.

We don't know
what the situation is yet.

I am locking down this building.

Everyone, please
sit on the floor

and stay in this room.

You all right?

This is completely FUBAR.

Come on, people!

Is there a shooter
or isn't there?

If I'm getting massacred
tonight, I kind of want to know.

Twitter is failing us.

It's time for some ocular recon.

No! No! Wait a minute!

I'll text you
when it's safe, okay?

I'm gonna go liaise with
the university security

to find out about
this campus alert.

Stay here.

Yes.

I want new photographs and a
full work-up of that entire area.

Put the camera away!

Do not listen to her.

Take the picture!
Take another picture!

Never fear, the feds are here.

Presumably due to
the incompetence

of our municipal investigators.

"Presumably due
to the incompetence"

"of our
municipal investigators."

Who made her like this?

I don't judge people's
coping mechanisms.

So, tell me some hacker stuff.

Okay.

it gets copied by all these dummy
accounts, like a swarm, right?

They're just routing through a bunch
of different countries, whatever.

So, this guy knows
what he's doing?

I mean, he's a psychopath,
but he's not an idiot.

I wonder if the FBI
are doing any better.

They're doing worse. Look.

The new task force is
headquartered at a police station,

to any specific
location or computer.

Look, hacking this
serial killer is...

I don't want
to say impossible but...

Okay, so what can you do?

You mean, what can we do?

We need to find out
who it is in real life.

You seem excited.

Okay. Don't laugh at me.
But I have this hobby.

Look.

In figure A,
it's at the victim's feet,

but in figure B,

it's migrated to his left hand.

So, what do you guys
just do detective club

from the comfort
of your own chairs?

No, you make it sound silly.

No, we just analyze publicly
available information,

you know, news articles,
press releases,

crime scene
investigation photos,

we share our findings
with law-enforcement

if appropriate.

So, what's your success
rate, out of curiosity?

Well, we provided intel
that may have contributed to

the arrest of a
convenience store robber.

The police were
misidentifying his disguise

as a Spiderman costume

but it was Deadpool.

Wow!

And I am the moderator.

I'm tough, but fair.

What does that mean?

I mean, I don't let
my personal biases

get in the way of my modding.

No. I mean, what does it
mean to be a moderator?

Mainly, I just suspend
people from the forum

if they get all
swear-y or threatening.

There's always a bad apple.

Wait, click on
that one right there.

"Shelton Bruni, lady
killer or lady killer?

"Shelton has been
at or near the scene

"of nearly every crime so far."

"Submit supporting
evidence in the comments."

Do the feds have
him as a suspect?

Person of interest.

This is pretty great
stuff though, right?

Unless you're Shelton.

One time, I heard him say

that being a straight man
is a handicap.

Guys that are too
handsome, creep me out.

It's like, what are you hiding?

I bet he constantly talks up his
pussy-eating game to intrigue you,

and then he sucks at it.

Or he doesn't do it until
you've lived together for a year

and pick out your stuff at IKEA.

That is 100%
serial killer behavior.

Oh, my God.

Crying Emoji.

Total serial killer behavior.

I find his pitchfork comments
to be consistently off-base.

Total serial killer behavior.

Total serial killer behavior.

I mean, a serial murderer
is gonna be a white guy.

Let's not forget the term

"innocent until proven guilty."

Yeah, dude, we aren't on a jury.

Why don't you go
"actually" some...

Hey.

Hey. Oh. Hey.

Do you really think it's right to
drag Shelton so much on Twitter?

I mean, I know he sucks,
but the FBI is on it and...

There's no real need to break
out the torches and pitchforks.

I believe in
grassroots movements

over empowering
the carceral state.

I'm honestly surprised

that you are willing
to trust the government.

Whatever.

Look, I think the killer
is selecting victims based on

how popular they are
on social media,

how prominent they are, how many
mentions they get from everybody.

And if I'm right, that means

you're endangering Shelton,
and possibly yourself.

If he doesn't like the attention,
he can get off Twitter.

But you know he does.

Besides, they suspended the murder
account after I spread the word.

You sure
you don't want a lawyer?

I bet Dad wouldn't
over-bill you.

I'm confident you guys
can figure it out.

Great, so are we.

You seemed pretty
calm for someone

whose girlfriend
was recently impaled.

She wasn't my girlfriend.

Which one?

Because we happen to know that
you were sexually intimate

with Miss Bell-Santos

and Dean Flores within
the last four weeks.

And they say
your generation is lazy.

I have an active social life.
So do a lot of people.

Well,

not a lot of people leave
a trail of dead bodies

in their wake.

First female victim,
Allie Kosko.

Never touched her.

Thought about it.

That's reassuring.

But you quarreled.

We took some pot shots
at each other on Twitter.

I wanted likes. That's not real.

Let's just
cut to the chase, huh?

Ah, silly me.

To think that I wasn't under the
surveillance of the police state.

Save it.

Look, I already told them.

She left her phone at my
house to go for a hike.

She thought she was coming back.

So did I.

So either the first thing she
did that morning was text you

nude photos of herself
from eight months ago,

or it's the first thing
that you did

when you took her phone.

Continually harassing a private
citizen for their sexual behavior,

that's sexism in action.

Except no one cares because
Shelton Bruni happens to be a man.

I want to fucking murder
this Vivian chick.

Hey guys, mod here.

Friendly reminder,

threats are not in the spirit
of community crime solving.

What's up? Nothing.

My forum.

Oh, your crime stoppers.

How are your babies?

They're good.

They actually just
found new suspects.

Oh.

I built you a program.

Well, not just for me.
But show me.

All right.

All right, it's thinking now.

I made it draw from
all the IP addresses

and Wi-Fi networks
in our geographical radius.

And it's counting
the number of mentions.

And it's going to give us a
name in, like, five seconds.

Maybe longer.

Allie's ambition
literally burned.

Sometimes a little too hot,

like being too close to the sun.

But I would give anything

for her Virgo insanity
one last time.

Candles up front.

Everything, even the
most tragic, random...

Hey, man. Be respectful.

Hey!

Aren't you a suspect
in all four murders?

Oh, look who it is.

Just passing through, man.

You reek of alcohol.

I hope they've been giving you
a hard time down at the station.

This isn't even mine.

Whatever. Everything
comes back around.

Everything happens for a reason.

Hey!

Stop! Stop! Someone help!

Help! Help! Help!

Oh, God.

Well, you were right.

Not right enough.

I'm sorry it took
too long to work.

Look at this shit.

They're claiming the murder.

It's a new account,

if that's the same guy, he's
trying to let us know that

he's not going anywhere.

I thought you said the build
wasn't that complicated.

Look, you're right.

The build wasn't that
hard once I got it going.

I just... I like
spending time with you.

You're so much better than I am.

I felt there had to
be an excuse for it.

Okay...

I'm not really sure
how to process...

No.

Wait, come back.

God.

Stay back.

I have a tip. I mean,
I have information.

I want to help.

All right, Detective Anthony

is our community task
force liaison for press,

family members, conspiracy
theorists, prank callers.

Just direct all your
comments to him, please.

That's me.

Give me a call if you
think you know anything.

Okay.

Hey! Sorry I'm late.

Hope you didn't miss
class or anything?

I just thought you should know

that every single person
that's gotten killed

has been popular on Twitter.

I mean, not like Kim K,

just relative to who they are.

With hugely, exponentially
more numbers of mentions

leading up to the murders.

I mean, even Dean Flores
trended in the area

for a minute before she died.

Everybody was Follow
Fridayed by that account,

but first they got
talked about by us.

Well, I assure you
that are interdart...

Our interdepartmental task force
is doing everything we can.

My friend made this program.

It predicted Shelton's death.

Everybody had been
all over him at the time

because they thought he did it.

It was too late but it works.

It gave Shelton's
name this morning.

You goin' this way?

So I don't think that there's a
connection between the victims

or that the murderer
is selecting people

like the Green River Killer.

I think that they're waiting
for Twitter to select people.

That would be
some new perversion.

I'll tell the team, but I'm
warning you about Marks,

she's old-school.

We're pursuing all leads
but I don't blame her.

It's tough to come out here

and get respect from
the good ol' boys as a...

As a lead investigator.

You have my card.
Send me the thing.

So, for the next series you're
just going to swap the variables.

Oh, is Eric teaching today?

No, I'm covering
for him. Are you...

Okay, well.

Eric?

Hey, I'm sorry
about this morning.

You just surprised me.

We can talk about it.

I do need you to call
me back pretty ASAP.

Mama, I know, listen.

Why are you suddenly upset

with both of my children
living at home?

I lived at home when I got
married and so did you.

Darius is finding his path.
Nabila, she's back in school.

And at least she goes out
of the house a little now.

No, I don't know
what's wrong with her...

Got you something.

I was going to wrap it.

Thanks.

Just don't go chucking it
into the sea this time.

Am I ever going
to live that down?

Absolutely.

Not. It's too good.

Why would the FBI release
any photos with more viscera?

See, here's one of my all-time
favorite crime scenes.

I like it because
you can see the intestines.

Scroll down for the close-up.

It's sexist to assume that a
female is not a serial killer.

Just because there aren't
female serial killers.

The blood countess Elizabeth Bathory much?
Owned, LOL.

That lesbian
chick Charlize Theron

played in Monster.
Owned, part two.

I mean, they've all seen it.

Vivian sucks.
She's a fun vampire.

I just feel sorry for the girls
who act up because they aren't hot.

I don't know what
you're talking about, dude.

Vivian is a solid seven.

The quote-unquote official
investigation is going nowhere.

We're supposed
to believe the FBI

aren't just bumbling
around as usual.

If we get any further, I feel
no obligation at all to share

our findings with
law-enforcement.

Community policing
is a citizen's obligation.

That should include
punishment for criminals.

This is getting
a little out of hand.

Where's our mod?

The mod's a pussy.

Thank you. The mod is like, 12.

Well, I think we're on our
way to solving this one.

I'd say call the police,
but LOL.

If you give the
task force our good intel,

they'll trade it for magic
beans on their way into town.

Literally,
always wanted to swat Vivian.

Violating someone's
privacy is an infraction,

worthy of public punishment.

We have the power to send a
SWAT team to her front door.

911, what's your emergency?

Uh-huh.

Can you repeat that, please?

I'm saying someone is
going to make a 911 call

about a mass killing
or a mass shooter,

possibly something about
a bomb or something

that would trigger a
rapid response, tonight.

And they're lying

and you shouldn't
listen to them.

Yes, I'll hold.

Fuck you, whore.

Blocked.

You're a seven out of 10.

I'm a nine.

Blocked.

You guys just...

Go, go, go, go, go.

Drop the phone, now!

Hands where I can see them!

Hey! What's going on?

Officer?

I'm sorry, ma'am. False alarm.

It happens all the time.

I read that if you
make a mistake in public,

you can't apologize in private.

I figured out pretty quickly that
if you make a mistake in public,

you can't apologize.

You can't even disappear.

But I'll try
one more time, for luck.

I'm sorry.

I screwed a lot of people
over with my dumb-ass article.

I was wrong,
but it got me a platform.

I'm using that platform now
to remind you all

that the killer
is still out there,

and they're picking people off
for being popular on Twitter.

We all know it.

We all have
nothing better to do.

And we are all
endangering our peers.

Log off.

Oh, good, I missed
this delusional crybaby.

I'm getting the popcorn.

- Fool me once, shame on you.
- Fool me twice, shame on me.

I don't think I need to listen
to a literal terrorist...

My boyfriend at the time

was on the basketball
team and actually...

Stop everything you're doing
right now and look at this.

"Sew yourself into a
sturdy sack made of burlap

"along with
the rest of your litter

"and roll yourselves
into the Caspian Sea."

"Unless you're too lazy."

I'm not sure how I'm
supposed to react to that.

Okay, now look at this.

This is an @ that I got,
like, eight months ago.

It's the exact same.

Down to the misspellings.

And it happened, like, a
bunch more times this morning,

all from egg accounts.

Actually, it happened 79 times
in 22 minutes, to be exact.

I'm being swarmed.

It's a robot.

Isn't this the sort of thing

you're supposed to do
with your new boyfriend?

He's not my boyfriend.

And can you...
Would you just listen

to what I'm talking
about right here?

Okay. So the killer is a robot?

No! Well, probably not.

They're using a robot to select
the victims. It's not organic.

So someone is either
copy-and-pasting really old stuff

and posting it
really, really fast,

or it's just automated
Internet hate.

They can do that.

Yeah. I know you're
excited, but like,

you're getting Followed
Fridayed, right?

Oh, I definitely am.

But it's not Friday yet.

Twelve, midnight, right?

Then I get stabbed.

Can you just, like, tell Mom

that I'm going to be at
a friend's house tonight?

Huh?

Eric. Uh...

Erica Stone.

And...

Tree... Saw.

Theresa Flannagan.

Can you just tell her I'll
be back next week, okay?

Bye.

I said I had a crime to confess.

Aren't you going to try
to get it out of me?

Just tell me what you're
doing here, ma'am.

Will you promise
not to kick me out?

No.

All right, fine.

I have reason to believe
that I'll be

the next one targeted
by the Twitter murderer,

beginning tonight,

and I would really like to sit
this one out in a safe room

until the killer's apprehended.

So you're requesting
protective custody.

Yes, please, sir.

People can't just
walk in off the street

and stay here
whenever they want.

I might die, sir.

Even so, uh...

I didn't hear a confession.

What do you say we detain
her until she plays ball?

You're going to have to
surrender your phone.

Hate breaking that news
to you kids.

So, do I just wait here until
somebody brings me to the jail cell?

We're not going to
put you in a jail cell,

but, um, I can lock
the door if you want.

You're kidding me?

What's going on?
People are dead!

Fuck you!

Get off me!

Detective Gray?

I don't think we can
keep you any longer.

You were wrong.

What happened?

Posted shortly after you
checked into our hotel.

Now, we haven't checked the
veracity of this video yet.

Until we know
where this was taken,

we can't retrieve the body.

Look closely.

Does that room look familiar?

If there is a body, like I
said, it could be anything.

Don't say "body."

How well did you
know the... Eric?

This was their M.O.

This is what
they did to Shelton.

They took a video.

Focus.

Eric and I were friends.

He was helping me investigate.

Why would you think
that you would be next?

Eric and I made
this program to track

the number of mentions
people got on Twitter,

to see how it lined up

was Follow Fridaying.

We thought they were connected.

And then I got back online
after Vivian got SWATed,

and the people started
mentioning me a lot,

to harass me, to threaten me,

I noticed that it was
the exact same stuff

that I had gotten
a long time ago,

it was like
a robot was saying it.

Then I figured I would be next

because of all the
mentions, so I came here.

Oh, my God.

The build wasn't that
hard once I got it going.

I have this hobby.

Eric. From the murder.

This account
is run by Eric Cordon,

who disappeared last night
and is now at large.

2904 Colonial Tract Lane,

Chickahominy, Virginia, 24016.

Mom? Darius?

Sorry, Dad.

Ow!

- What the fuck!
- I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Ow!

Did you come here
to kill my family?

Wait! No! No, I'm here
to investigate!

Investigate? What shit!

You were on that bullshit
chucklefuck detective forum

for dipshit
Raymond Chandler babies!

Yes! Yes! Ow!

I'm sorry.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

I've been following the Follow
Friday case, we all have.

All the evidence
is online and...

Honestly,
I was worried about you.

We got out of control
last time, so...

I just saw the address and went.

Well, maybe don't
break into people's homes

to check on them,

when they're already
expecting to be murdered.

I think your mom
left the door unlocked.

You do realize
that your moderator

is probably the killer, right?

That's new information.

And that he's probably out
there after me right now?

Feel good about yourself now?

Huh?

What is going on?

I knew your girls night
sounded too good to be true.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Now is your chance
to wrap it up in a bow

or whatever you call it.

I don't call it anything.

Look, I think it was
Eric the whole time.

He's the one that
made the program

that tracked people's
mentions on Twitter.

Which is, essentially,

what the killer was using
to target his victims.

He was logged into the
account and everything.

I think he faked his own death.

Nobody was mentioning him at all

and it completely broke pattern

for him to be Follow Fridayed.

So you claim.

So, go down to the
server room, room B5110.

And you'll find all his shit.

He's still logged
into that account,

the program he made
is still running,

and you'll probably
find more stuff

I don't even know about.

I'll be here with
all these firearms,

behind these thick walls.

So, where is Mr. Cordon now?

How should I know?

What? You want me to

go out to a public place
and tweet my location

so he'll come confront me
and possibly kill me

while you guys just wait around

in the wings to jump out
and arrest him?

Put together a team.

Where are you going?

Come sit back down with us.

I just need some air.

Eric. Eric, please
just turn yourself in.

If you really killed
all those people

or even if you didn't, they
seem to think that you did.

Um, don't call me back.

Just come to the police station.

I want to tell you that you're way,
way crazier than I ever even thought.

Give me my phone.

You obviously can't
have it right now.

Get inside, we'll talk in there.

Are you going to kill me?

I said get inside!

Get inside.

Please, just don't
hurt my family.

Keep your voice down.
Just get it over with.

Nabila!

Hey! Party?

Hey!

- Get down!
- Get down!

FBI! Everyone get down
on the ground, now! Now!

You told everyone that I
was the killer but I'm not.

You have to believe me. I don't.

And even if I did,
which I don't,

I would have a lot of
follow-up questions.

'Cause you show up here
covered in blood,

and pointing a gun
at me after you

kidnapped me and dragged me
to the abandoned theater.

I didn't do it, all right?
I am not the killer.

Well, you're making a
terrible case for yourself.

Put the gun down.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Okay.

Nabila!

Come here. Back here.

Get down here. Come on.

You really hurt me, you know?

I reject you, romantically.

So you kidnapped me,
threaten me with a gun,

and you expose me
to a mass murderer.

Even Steven.

I'm not dead yet.

Tell me what happened?

I never told you that
I was working to hack

the killer's Twitter account.

I didn't know if I could do it.

But I'm a genius, so...
I did it.

Then I Follow Fridayed
myself from the account,

so the killer would think
his program spit out my name

and come kill me instead of you.

I tried to figure out a way
to spend a safe night in jail,

but I didn't think
to ask politely

because even though
I'm a genius,

I'm apparently dumber than you.

Fuck you, cops!

It's okay.

I tried to get them to
put me in the drunk tank,

but I didn't know
who else was in there.

The killer could be anywhere.

Shut up for a second.

Okay.

Well, at that point,
I had no more geniuses.

So I got the dumb idea to
fake my death and post it.

I thought there was
more than one murderer.

We don't know.
They're all anonymous.

So you could be one of them.

You could be all of them.

What... That's some kind
of cockamamie bullshit.

Look.

You had service in here
this whole time?

Three slain at Nebraska college

in apparent
Follow Friday killing.

People are feeding off of this.

It's bigger than one person.
Maybe it always was.

It's everywhere now.

Or it's a copycat

looking for attention
in Nebraska.

No, listen.

Every time someone gets Follow
Fridayed by one of these accounts,

they hack some events so that a
bunch of people show up somewhere,

and no one can tell
who killed the victim.

What if it's different people?

What, like murder franchisees?

They decided to pick up the Follow
Friday torch and do their part?

That's not how murder works.

Even for Charles Manson.

Are you sure nobody
followed you here?

I don't know. Did you tell
anyone we were up here?

No!

Come on. Come on. Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, shit! Someone locked it.

You used to work here, right?

Is there a way out?

I'm working on it.

Go, go, go, go.

Shit's going down
at the theater.

We urge everyone
to avoid the area tonight.

There's an armed suspect
at large.

Nabila?

Eric!

Oh, God!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Eric.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Shh. Shh. It's okay.

It's okay.

I'll be right back, okay.

Come and get me.

Get down.

Who is he? Do you know him?

No idea.

Ready to flee the country?

You know, Mom is serious
about moving this time.

Just to another state.

So, what, after all that,

it was just some guy?

Yeah, just some guy.

They searched his
shitty apartment,

found computers, knives,

manifestos, you know.

The whole world was against
him and he felt invisible,

so he had to invisibly
destroy a bunch of lives.

There's nothing special or scary

about the Internet,
just the people on it.

Hey, look.

Please do not show me
another phone right now.

You've changed
your Google results.

What?

You're in the news cycle
as a plucky hero.

Now use those wordy chops

on a harrowing first-person
essay to seal the deal

and no one will
remember you as the girl

who single handedly sabotaged
the NCAA tourney in college.

All for the low, low cost
of life-long PTSD.

Just when you thought
you were out.

I would have gotten
away with it, too,

if it weren't
for you meddling kids!

I know that bitch did it.

BRB, searching plucky student
journalist porn right now.

White guy gets shot by the
cops, mainstream media cheers.

Hashtag double standards.

Hashtag Follow Friday.