Five Minutes of Heaven (2009) - full transcript
In February, 1975, in Northern Ireland, seventeen year-old UVF member Alistair Little kills the catholic Jimmy Griffin in his house in Lurgan in front of his younger brother Joe Griffin. Alistair is arrested and imprisoned for twelve years while Joe is blamed by his mother for not saving his brother. Thirty-three years later, a TV promotes the meeting of Alistair and Joe in a house in River Finn, expecting the truth and the reconciliation of the murderer and the victim who actually seeks five minutes of heaven.
- For me to talk
about the man I've become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF,
the Ulster Volunteer Force.
At that time, don't forget,
there were riots
in the streets every week,
petrol bombs every day.
And that was just in our town.
When you got home
and switched on the TV,
you could see it was happening
in every other town as well.
And it was like
we were under siege.
Fathers and brothers of friends
were being killed
in the streets,
and the feeling was,
we all have to do something.
We're all in this together,
and we all have to do something.
- The Republic Clubs
say the Provisionals
tried to kill
31 of their members.
- Thank you.
- And after the overnight
shootings in Belfast,
three men
are still seriously ill.
Also, as we talk
to the Fianna Fàil Party
about their change policy
to Northern Ireland...
The Republican Club's movement
has suspended meetings
and warned members
to be on their guard
after last night's widespread
attacks on its members.
Despite the many shootings,
only one man was killed.
In another incident,
a 22-year-old...
L'?
- I' I got the money I'
♪ I got the place I'
♪ You got the figure I'
♪ You got the face I'
♪ Let's get together I'
♪ The two of us souls
will relax in the night I'
♪ I got the music I'
♪ I got the lights I'
♪ You got the finger I'
♪ Put out the lights I'
♪ Let's get together I'
♪ The two of us souls
will relax in the night I'
♪ I've been waiting
for much too long a'
♪ For this moment
to come along I'
♪ Oh, yeah I
♪ Oh, yeah I
♪ Oh, yeah I
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Fuck.
- Come on, Mum.
- Get down.
- Wait.
' Oi!
- Fuck! Run!
- All right there, kid?
- Hi, Jim.
- All right, Dave.
- Heya, Jim.
- Oi.
- Heya, Dad.
- Hey, Jim.
- You ready for your tea?
- Thanks, Ma.
- Go in and take a seat,
and I'll bring it in to you.
- Hey, Jim, Chrissie
called for you earlier on.
He asked if you were
going out later on.
- I actually called him earlier.
- One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten.
- Okay-
- One, two, three!
Fuck.
Come on.
- I'm doing it.
- They're gonna be
coming out of the bar.
- I know!
- Whoa-had.!
They've left us some buns.
We've got four fucking buns.
- What sort of buns?
- Iced.
- What color?
- Pink.
- Pink?
How did they know?
Fucking hell.
- Eh?
- Fucking hell!
- All right, Stuart.
- All right.
- I'll be right with you.
- When you announced...
- All right there,
Mr. Little, Mrs. Little.
- Hello, Stuart.
- Hello.
- He is still alive,
isn't he, Mummy?
- I like this fella here.
- Aye, he's not bad.
- Ready?
I'll see you later.
- No drinking, now.
- No, Mum, they don't
serve drinks down at the hop.
- Sure, he's a lemonade boy,
Mrs. Little.
You don't need to worry.
- You have a nice evening.
- Did Sammy visit?
- Aye, it's all in the bag.
So what's the craic?
- I'll tell you in the car.
- 39, 40, 41, 42,
43, 44, 45, 46,
47, 48...
- Joe, into the house.
- Yes, Ma.
- Now.
- Yes, Ma.
50, 51, 52, 53, 54,
55, 56, 57, 58...
- See you later, kiddo.
-60, 61...
- Hey, Joe.
- 62, 63, 64, 65, 66.
- Right, lads.
- Aye.
- Where'd you get this from?
- The Windsor.
- Does it run okay?
- It's okay.
- Craig's barn.
Okay, Stuart, open the bag.
- Is he wanting us
to dig his gardens?
- Right.
This is what's going down.
You know Colin
who works at Castle's Yard?
- Aye.
- Aye, the stonemasons?
- Aye.
The Provies told him
that if he didn't leave,
he'd be stiffed.
So I sent the message back,
"If you don't leave, it's one
of yous who'll be stiffed."
They haven't
withdrawn the threat.
So this is our first kill, boys.
I told Sammy
that I wanted to do it.
He said he'd check and see
if there's anything else
going down tonight.
He came back to me,
said it was good to go.
"The hit's yours," he said.
That's when he told me
I could pick up the piece.
- Where from?
- You don't ask that.
- Let's see it, Alistair.
- Aye, go ahead, open it up.
- What is it'?
- It's a .38 Smith & Wesson.
- Could you not get
an automatic?
- Nah, Stuart.
This is better than automatics.
They jam all the time.
With this, you know,
it's not gonna leave me there
fucking clicking, you know,
standing there
with a dick in my hand.
- Aye.
- Aye.
- How many rounds does it get?
- Enough.
- He must be reckoning
we're good, then,
we getting a hit.
- Well, this is the one
I asked for, so we better be.
- What did he say, Sammy,
when he said the hit was ours?
- He just looked us in the eyes
like he was, you know-
he was proud of us.
I'm telling you,
it was a good feeling.
We'll be walking into that bar
ten feet tall now, yeah?
- I can't wait for that.
- We'll have to do it first,
mind.
- Can I hold it?
- Give us a wee jig
after you, will you?
- Aye, give us a look.
Fucking hell, man.
Like fucking James Bond, eh?
- Powerful, isn't it?
- Mad, isn't it?
- Who is it?
- Griffin.
- Griffin?
- He was warned to leave the
yard by the end of the week.
- Hang on.
Jim Griffin?
- Aye.
- Aye, I know him.
That's right.
Castle's Yard Jim Griffin?
- Albert Street, aren't they?
- He's leaving the yard anyway,
isn't he?
Setting out on his own?
- Griffin?
Is he?
- Aye, that's what I'm hearing.
He's setting up
with Eddie Heaney.
- What, you mean
starting his own business?
- Aye.
That's what I'm hearing.
- Hang on.
Can't be here in Lurgan.
Surely not two mason's yards
in one town.
- They're gonna be
up and running by Christmas.
That's what I'm hearing.
- Well, he's still
in Castle's now.
So that's bad luck on him, then.
- I know his mother.
She's our dinner lady
at the apprenticeship.
- Aye, I know
what woman you mean.
I don't know her, like,
but I know who you mean.
It's her sister Catherine
works in the bread shop?
- Aye.
- So is that her son
we're doing?
- It's not Albert Street.
- It used to be, I'm sure of it.
- It's Hill Street.
It's 37 Hill Street.
- 58, 59, 60,
61, 62, 63, 64,
65, 66, 67, 68, 69.
- Get in now, son.
Now, do as your brother says.
- Yes, Dad.
72, 73, 74, 75.
76, 77, 78, 79,
80, 81, 82, 83, 84.
- When we've done it,
we'll burn the car,
we'll burn the gear,
we'll call Sammy,
and we'll go to the hop.
We'll get seen around,
a few dances,
and then we're back home.
Let's go.
- 37?
You sure?
- Aye.
It's left.
- Army!
Down!
- What the fuck?
- What's happened?
- They're passing.
- Go right.
- They've seen me
indicating left now.
- Go left, then.
Just take us around the block,
Andy.
We'll come at it again.
- Oh, fuck.
- What is it?
- The lights have gone red.
- Where are the jeeps?
- Right behind them.
- What?
Are they staying in the vehicle?
- So far.
- Alistair,
this has got to be a no-goer.
Let's just get out of here.
- Aye, do you want
to get out of here?
- No, I don't!
No!
Sammy will think we're chickens.
Are they doing anything?
- They're just sitting there.
- Fuck, Alistair.
- Stay down.
- We're off.
- You play golf?
Well, that's well good.
Did you watch me play?
- Joe!
- I didn't do too badly.
Let's have a game.
- I'd like to play
a round with you.
- Really?
Oh, ho.
I've scored already.
Could be a very short show.
- 123, 124.
- Joe.
Come on, son.
- I'm almost hitting a record.
128, 129, 130,
131,132,133,134.
135, 136, 137.
Aw!
- I've scored.
Go. Go.
- Let's go.
- Hi, Alistair.
- Hiya.
- Enjoy the evening.
Behave yourselves.
I'?
- You want a drink, Skittle?
"No!
Stop it, Mummy'
- Why didn't you do something?
You didn't do anything!
- Let go, Mum!
- You could've stopped him!
A milk bottle or something!
' Mummy. please!
Mummy!
Stop it, Mum, please!
Please!
- You killed him!
You killed him,
your own brother!
No!
- Never knew why that picture
of a cat was there.
And the other one,
don't know what happened
to that one.
I mean...
What the fuck?
- Sorry.
What did you say?
- What?
- Did you
not just say something?
- Was I talking to myself?
It gets me a good seat.
I've had no one
sitting next to me for years.
One On One, for fuck's sake.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
Would you turn back?
- Are you wanting me to turn
back?
- I'd love you for it.
- I think I should
get you there first', don't you?
I mean, I can take you back
once I've got you there.
- I'd rather eat my two fucking
feet than you get me there.
Jesus, I mean...
- Do you want me to call them?
I can call them.
- No.
You go on.
You do your job.
- They said to get you there.
- And what?
- And what?
- Well, I know
you have to get me there.
That's why
you're driving me there.
I mean, did you say
you wouldn't get me there?
You mean they mean
I wouldn't get you there.
That's why
you have to get me there.
Is that it?
- Something like that.
- No, you drive.
You do your job.
- Do you mind?
- I don't want you
getting in trouble.
I mean, Jesus, I'm in trouble.
I can't have you in trouble.
Then we'll never get back.
- So that last one you did,
Alistair,
the Cassacks-
sorry, no, the Cossacks.
- Kosovans.
- Kosovans.
- Aye, Albanian and Serb,
they are.
- Aye, that's the one.
- That one
turned out quite nicely.
- So did they show it
in the end, then?
- They did,
about six months ago now.
- Oh, I was looking out for it.
- Actually,
I didn't see it myself.
I was in South Africa
at the time.
- Swanning around the world,
talking about your feelings.
A ticket to paradise.
For killing a man!
I mean,
where would he be without me?
40 years
in the factory in Lurgan
making egg cartons
like the rest of us.
Aye, not him.
He can make a living
telling the pope, the queen,
the Dalai fucking Lama
how it feels to kill a man,
how it feels,
"the suffering I have,
the burden I carry."
Why should you get women
in pastel shades
and rosy perfumes giving you tea
and buns and wine
from fucking Chile
just so as you can tell 'em
how it feels
to be putting three bullets
into my brother's head?
12 years for armed robbery,
membership, and murder.
Fuck!
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- You made me jump.
- What do you think
that does to me?
I'm one fuck of a lot closer
to me than you are.
- So is this another one of your
counseling things, Alistair?
- No.
Well, kind of.
It's a program
about reconciliation,
my own, in fact.
It's my own.
I'm to meet the brother
of the man I killed.
- Is that where we're going now?
- Aye.
- Well,
have you not met him yet?
- No, no.
Not since the day.
- And did you ask for this?
- That was never
gonna be my call, Ray.
I don't have the right to ask
anything from him.
- So did he call you or...
- No, the program people,
they approached him,
then me.
I said I'd be willing to,
you know-
If it's a meeting he wants,
I'd be willing to do it,
to see him.
I'd do anything to...
you know, to...
- Did you do time
for it, Alistair?
- Aye.
There was no release date,
but I did 12 years.
- You could've stopped him.
Why didn't you stop him?
You could've stopped him.
- Can you stop the car?
- Can I get you anything?
You want some water?
- He was only a wee boy
at the time, you know?
- And is it just the brother
you're meeting?
- Aye.
Aye.
That's...
His father died eight months
later, heart attack,
a broken heart, the family said.
His brother Daniel,
it was an overdose with him.
After that,
his mother, she died.
That's what happens.
It's often what happens...
To the family, you know?
That's the part people don't
understand, don't realize...
what happens after.
- Paddy Barnes
is having to content himself
with a bronze medal
in the Olympic Games
after losing
in his semifinal bout
against Chinese world champion
Zou Shiming.
Defeat was comprehensive
by 15 points to nil.
But commentator-
- You okay...
to carry on?
- Aye.
Is it good pay you get?
- It's not bad.
Are you thinking of it?
- Aye. why not?
Looks comfy.
Would I need a driving license?
- There's always
a snag somewhere, eh?
She's been staring at me
for 33 years.
Do you know that,
what it's like,
your mother blaming you
for 33 years?
Three bullets
went into his head.
You'd know that, though.
Did you know another one hit
a picture of a cat on the wall?
It wasn't me
who broke that picture.
I never got the blame
for that one.
And if it wasn't me who broke
the picture on the wall,
then it wasn't me
who killed my brother.
I didn't kill him
like she said I did.
It was you.
It was you in the car,
arriving at her house
and shooting three bullets
into her son's head
and making her grieve
the way she did,
blaming me the way she did.
Well, I'm the one
in the car now, visiting you.
I'm the one in the car now.
I'm the one in the car now.
Is this it?
- This is if.
Yes.
Yes, Paul here.
We're just coming in now.
Yes, he is.
Right.
- Jesus, will you
look at this place?
- Joe, hi.
How are you?
- Hi, good.
- Good.
Wow, you made good time.
Well done.
- Well, I was just
sitting in the back.
- Come on, I'll introduce you.
This is David,
Michael's assistant.
- Hi.
- Come on inside,
and we'll find Michael.
- It'll be grand.
- Here we go, Mr. Griffin.
- Mr. Griffin
studying the house.
- It's an interesting staircase,
isn't it?
You sort of expect Bette Davis
to come sweeping down it.
- I could move in here,
no problem with that.
- Well, it's yours for one day
at any rate.
We set up a nice room for you
upstairs to relax in.
- Uh-huh.
- Come in and meet the crew.
- Aye.
- Joe?
- You know Stephanie, don't you?
- They didn't tell me
you'd arrived.
It's good to see you.
_ Aye, you too, aye.
- John, video technician.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Hello.
- Martin, camera.
- Hello.
Well, here you are, pal,
a fully signed-up member
of the celebrity circuit
of life's victims:
men in love with donkeys,
twins stuck together
by their bollocks,
elephant women who can't
get out of their chairs,
and now you.
- I know it's all a bit,
you know...
But they're all lovely people,
and they're very experienced
at this sort of thing.
Well, Fiona
will take you upstairs.
- Yeah.
Okay, this way.
So did you get that
poor old toaster sorted out?
When we last spoke on the phone,
were you not
sorting out a toaster?
- Oh, aye.
- Here we are.
Isn't it gorgeous?
- Can I smoke?
- Um, yeah,
over there on the balcony.
Now, what can I get you?
Tea or coffee?
- Tea would be nice, aye.
- Yeah?
Milk, sugar?
- Aye, milk,
two sugars, thank you.
- No problem.
- Joe.
How are you?
- Yeah, good.
Aye, I'm good.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Oh, that's okay, aye.
- How are you feeling?
- Aye, I'm okay.
I'm okay, aye.
- Everybody looking after you?
- Aye.
- Good.
I know it's going to be
a difficult day for you,
but we will do everything we can
to make sure it's, you know-
it goes the way you want it to.
So if there's anything you need,
any questions,
anything you're worried about,
you just stop us.
And, well, basically,
we're here for you.
_ Aye, okay.
- So it's very important
that you let us know
if things aren't feeling right.
Now, has Fiona taken you through
the format and so forth?
- Aye.
- Okay, good.
So just to briefly
put you in the picture
on how the day
is going to pan out.
Now, you've got time
to settle down here
and make yourself comfortable.
- Will you have someone
in the bed for me?
- Then at some point,
the makeup girl will come in
just to put a little,
you know, on your face.
Sometimes the camera
can make the skin shine, so...
She only needs a few minutes.
Then when you're ready,
we'll do a little shooting,
filming, up here.
And then,
at around 12:00,
you know, when it feels right,
we can go downstairs and-
you've seen the room,
haven't you?
- Aye.
- Okay, good.
So in terms of your
actual meeting with him,
it's important to remember-
for all of us to remember-
where we're trying to get to
in this program, the truth.
- Yes, I know.
I know what you want.
Shake his fucking hand.
Then we can all go home.
- The last thing I want to do
is push you into areas
of your mind
where you don't want to go.
But on the other hand,
it's important for us
to understand
all the emotions in this.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
- Aye.
Aye, I understand.
- I know it's difficult,
which is why
I don't want to push that.
But I do want you to be truthful
with how you feel.
What I'm saying really is,
I just want you to be you.
Michael?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- Yeah, I'm coming.
And, you know, we are all going
to have an important day here.
I can't tell you how important
I think this is going to be
in terms of-well, in terms
of what it's going to do.
This is the question we are all
wanting the answer to.
Truth and reconciliation:
what's at stake?
Is it possible?
That's it.
Speech over.
- I can do handshakes, Michael.
And I can do victim.
I can do handshake and victim
both at the same time.
But I've made a decision
on this one.
Reconciliation?
You have no idea.
A handshake?
For killing my brother?
For me taking the blame?
33 years of that.
What do you think I am, a joke?
If ever a man deserved
a knife run through him,
that scum of the Earth.
Truth and reconciliation?
I'm going for revenge.
- Oh, hi.
I'm Vika.
- Joe.
How are you doing?
- Your tea.
- Oh, aye!
Thanks.
- I'm the runner.
- The runner?
- Do you mind
if I have a smoke out there?
- Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, of course you can!
Come on, come on.
Here, have one of mine.
- It's okay, I can-
- Oh, Jesus, come on!
- Thank you.
- Here.
- Thank you.
- You stay out here with me
and smoke your ciggy.
- Thanks, but-
- I'm the star of the show.
You have to do what I say.
- I've come to look after you
anyway, so
- Oh, that's great!
Everybody's looking after me!
They're even worrying
about my toaster.
You're a what?
A runner?
- Yeah, it means I run around
doing anything I'm told to do.
- A dogsbody, then.
- A dogsbody?
- No, no, runner's better.
I like runner.
- Young Fiona here visited me
out of the blue one morning,
said she was a researcher
on a program called One On One.
She was all posh and lovely,
you know,
and everything's sort of happy,
and her voice
is all up here and down there,
and the weather's
always doing something,
and every time she turns,
she smiles at me,
all cornflakes and sunshine,
you know'?
I mean, would she smile at me
if she didn't know me
and I sat down next to her
in the pub?
She'd call the police.
Fuck, I would!
So anyway,
I let her into the house,
and now look
what I've got myself into.
- Maybe it's a good thing
you're here.
- Aye.
Maybe it is.
Where are you from?
- Vladivostok.
- Vladivostok and Belfast?
Does bad luck
run in your family?
- I like it here.
- I like you here too.
I like you!
So she was sitting
in my kitchen, and she says,
"This is an important
program about men
who have become the man
they have become,"
that you have become or some
fuck knows thing-I don't know.
But then she said,
"It's really more about the man
"you could become.
"L think that's
what excites us all
about this project," she said.
She had the light in her eyes,
you know,
the missionary light.
"This is a program
about healing," she said.
"It's about reconciliation."
"What is that," I said, "people
coming out of their graves?"
"No," she said, smiling,
"that's resurrection.
'We want you to meet the man
that killed your brother,
face-to-face."
I don't know.
The thing is, it isn't the way
she was looking and talking.
I wasn't really listening
to anything she was telling me.
It's just that...
she showed me a little kindness.
- Well, I'm sure-
- But I don't do kindness.
I fucking hate kindness.
I don't let that in.
I never let it in.
I let it in then,
but never again.
The trouble with me is,
I've got all the wrong feelings.
But him, Oh, his feelings,
they are just right,
just perfect!
He did it in cold blood,
you know,
but now look at the man
he has become.
"What is it like to kill a man?"
they all ask him.
'Well, you see,
you have to understand..."
And off he goes again telling
them about this and that.
But hats off to him.
He's cracked it, all right.
He knows they all love
to shake hands with a killer,
and I hear he's very good
at all this talking malarkey.
- Is there someone with him?
- Yes, oh, yes.
- That's important, you know'?
And whatever he tells you
he's feeling about this,
he's going to be very angry,
I mean, very angry.
And that anger
could go in any direction.
- Yes, I understand that.
- So you have to be prepared
to stop the filming
at any moment.
I mean, we're not
performing monkeys here.
- No, of course not.
- I realize
you have a program to make,
but what's happening to him
has to come first.
- Yes, absolutely.
- You have to make sure
he doesn't come to any harm.
- He can talk about forgiveness
until his arse dries up.
"Listen to him," they will say,
"and there is hope
in the world."
And you know what he's thinking?
He's thinking, "Okay, pal,
do this gig well here,
"and I've got another 20 years
of paychecks in front of me.
"L can talk about that day then
and this day now
"for the next 20 years,
how I came face-to-face
"with the brother of my victim
"and how it was the final act
"in my journey towards
a magnificent redemption
"and how listening to me is the
way forward in life, plus VAT.
"And with their checks
in my pocket,
"I will talk
unto the wretched of the world,
"and I will heal them
with my words.
"And I won't ever have to work
in a fucking egg carton factory
ever again."
So the man shot my brother
three times in the head.
The man is having
the life of Riley.
What should I do?
Do I shake his hand,
or do I kill him?
- Well, killing him
wouldn't be good for him...
- For sure of that!
- But it wouldn't
be good for you either.
- Oh, not good for me?
My five minutes of heaven?
How would that
not be good for me?
- Joe, hi.
Everything okay?
' AYE. Okay, aye.
- Okay, they're just doing
a wee bit of filming downstairs,
and then we're pretty much
set to go, okay?
Can Cathy come in
and do a wee bit of makeup
just to get you ready a little?
' AYE. Okay, aye.
- Hi, Joe.
I'm Cathy.
How are you, all right?
- Good, aye.
I'm good.
- Lovely.
I just want
to sit you down here.
That's lovely.
Now, this is just to take
the shine off your skin.
- Fuck, am I shining?
- Okay, Alistair,
the camera's running,
so just in your own time.
- In order for me...
In order for me to talk
about the man I have become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF,
the Ulster Volunteer Force.
The situation at that time,
you know,
there were riots on the streets-
- Cut there.
Sorry, Alistair.
That's very good,
but we're just
picking up some noise.
- That's really good.
- Okay-
- Okay.
Okay, we're good to go again.
Running up.
- And in your own time,
Alistair.
- For me to talk
about the man I have become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF.
At that time, don't forget,
there were riots
on the streets every week,
petrol bombs every day.
And that was just in our town.
When you got home
and switched on the TV,
you could see it was happening
in every other town as well.
And it was like
we were under siege.
Fathers and brothers of friends
were being killed
in the streets,
and the feeling was,
we all have to do something.
We're all in this together,
and we all have to do something.
The thing you have to remember,
what you have to understand,
is the mind-set.
Once you have
signed up to terror
and joined the organization,
the group,
your mind closes right down.
It becomes
only our story that matters,
not their story, the Catholics.
It's only my people
that are being killed
and who are suffering
and who need looking after.
Catholics being killed?
Doesn't enter your head.
And so when I went up to Sammy,
our local commander,
and told him I wanted
to kill a Catholic man,
it wasn't
a wrong thing for me to do.
In my head, it was the proper,
the just, the fair,
the good thing to do.
And so it was easy.
When I got to the house,
there was a boy in the street.
I didn't expect him to be there,
but there he was.
I only looked at him
for a moment,
because I had a job to do.
But if I had known
that he was Jim's brother,
I would have shot him as well.
It was in the mind-set.
It was tit for tat
and perhaps one more, why not'?
That's what it was like.
I was only 17.
I had seen my people fighting
ever since I was a wee boy.
You take sides
with your friends as a boy,
but we weren't just
throwing stones over the fence.
We were shooting guns.
What I want to tell people,
what society must do,
is to stop people
getting to the point
where they join the group,
because when you get
to that point, it's too late.
No one's going to stop you.
No one's going
to change your mind.
And once you're in,
you will do anything.
You will kill anyone
on the other side
because it's right to do it.
Once your man
has joined the group,
society has lost him.
And what he needs to hear
are voices on his own side
stopping him before he goes in.
There were no voices on my side,
not on my side of the town,
not on my estate.
No one was telling me anything
other than
that killing is right.
It was only in prison
when I heard that other voice.
And the Muslims now, you know,
the kids now
are like I was then.
They need
to hear those voices now,
stopping them from thinking
that killing is good.
They need
their own people to say no.
That's where
they need to hear it.
And that's where I would
put my money,
on making those voices heard
in every mosque in the country.
When I got home, my mother
and father were watching the TV,
and it came on the news that
the man I had shot was dead.
I was so excited.
I couldn't wait for when I would
get my congratulations.
Sammy was going to come
knocking at my door.
He was going
to lead me out into the street,
then proudly walk me
into the bar,
and everybody was going
to stand up and applaud me.
I would have
shot anyone for that.
And that is why I talk
to anybody who will listen now,
to tell them
to stop boys like me thinking
that to shoot an innocent
and a decent man in the head
is a good thing.
- Alistair,
when he comes into the room,
what are you hoping for?
- Well, what I have to do
is to be honest with him.
That's the most difficult thing,
but that's what
he's gonna need from me
is to be honest with him.
- Cut.
Good.
- Fantastic.
- Thank you.
That was perfect.
- Yeah.
- Once he's in the room
with you, do you think-
I mean, is it likely
he'll want an apology from you?
- Michael, Michael,
he doesn't want
to hear me say I'm sorry
or to ask for forgiveness.
Reconciliation
is not on the agenda.
That's not what he needs.
He has come here
and I have come here
so he can confront me.
- Hiya, Joe.
- Ah, here he is.
- Joe, I wondered
if I could just sort you out
with a wee radio mic here.
- Where are you putting that?
- How are we doing?
Ready to go?
- I just need
to clip this on here.
- I don't like that side.
- How are you feeling?
_ Aye, okay.
- What about if I put it
in here, is that better?
- Thank you.
- You sure?
- Aye, okay.
- Just need
to clip this on here now.
All right, that's it.
- Okay, good.
So this is what we're doing.
What we're going to do now,
we're going
to bring you downstairs.
Now, the cameraman
will be filming you,
but don't look at him...
Joe?
Yeah, Joe?
- Going downstairs, aye.
- Now, when you open the door
and go into the room,
make sure you open the door wide
and leave it open, okay?
- Aye.
- You see, what the cameraman
will be doing,
he'll be following you
into the room,
and somebody else will be
closing the door behind him.
Okay?
" Aye.
- Clear?
- Aye.
- Sure?
- Aye, I'm sure.
- Okay-
- Okay, here you are.
Okay, we're ready.
Okay.
- Quiet, please!
Running up.
- Joe, whenever you're ready.
- Shit!
- Cut!
- What'?
- Sorry, I nearly fell there.
- Sorry, Joe.
These things happen.
I'm afraid
we really do need that shot.
Would you mind
just doing that again,
the walk down the stairs
and then into the room?
_ Aye, okay.
- Sorry, Joe.
Thank you.
- Okay, guys, lets rehearse
our moves until we get it right.
Then we'll go again.
- Can I get a drink of water,
please?
Oh, yeah.
- Stay with him.
- So you're still
looking after me, are you?
- I just want to say
I hope it goes well.
But he seems a nice man.
- Who does?
- Mr. Little.
- Have you met him?
- Yes.
- Where?
- In Belfast.
I went to his home.
- I didn't know that.
- Yes,
I was delivering something.
- To his home?
- Yes.
- Did you go in?
- Yes.
- Where was that?
- City center,
beside the motorway,
a block of flats.
- It's a flat, then, is it?
- Yes, a flat.
- So he let you in, did he?
- I didn't stay long.
I...
- What was it like?
- His flat?
- What was it like?
- It was like...
cold.
Empty-
- Empty?
- Like not a home.
Not a happy place.
- Was it?
- I didn't like it.
- Is he on his own, then?
- Yes.
- Ls he?
But you liked him?
- Yes.
- What did you talk about?
- About this.
This meeting.
- What did he say?
- Well, he was worried about it.
- Oh, I bet he was.
- He was worried for you.
- Joe, ready whenever you are.
- Okay-
What do you...
Will you let me finish my ciggy?
- Aye, yeah, sure, fine.
- Worried for me, what do you
mean he was worried for me?
- That...
He said he thought it would be
too painful for you.
- He said that, did he?
Too painful,
is that what he said?
- Yes, difficult for you.
- Painful or difficult?
- He said both.
- Did he?
What about him?
What did he say about himself?
- He didn't talk about himself.
But he seems very sad.
"Sad?
- I don't know, but...
I don't know him, really,
but that's how he seemed.
Like he couldn't forgive himself
for what he's done to you.
There's an expression you say...
a broken man.
A broken man.
So it's good.
It's good
that you're meeting, I think.
- Fuck.
- Ready when you are, Joe.
Okay?
Ready when you are.
- Aye.
I need an end to this.
- Everything okay?
Joe.
Everything okay?
- Aye.
- You ready?
- Aye.
- Joe, just a wee bit more here.
There you go.
Great.
- Quiet, please!
Running up.
- Okay, Joe.
Ready when you are.
Joe, whenever you're ready.
Joe?
Are you all right?
- Do you want to sit down?
- I don't want the camera there.
- I know. It takes
some getting used to-
- You'll have to take it away.
- Well, the thing about that-
- The thing is nothing!
- Joe, why don't we just go
and talk this through?
- I'm not
talking through anything!
I don't want the camera in my
face when I am meeting that man!
- We did agree to the context-
- I don't care what we agreed
to. I'm not agreeing to it now!
- I hear what you're saying,
but there has to be a camera.
- Would you like
to speak to Stephanie?
- Stephanie?
- Joe, they're going to be
a few minutes setting up anyway,
so why don't we take
a few moments out, go upstairs-
- I've been up the stairs!
I've been down the stairs!
I am not a fucking show pony!
I will meet him!
I want to meet him!
But I don't
want the camera there!
- I understand that, Joe,
but now, what I think-
- Joe, what we can't do is-
- No!
- Joe!
- 33 years, that boy
has been living in this head,
standing there, staring at me,
looking up at me,
never leaving me.
Never leaving.
Every morning, waiting for me.
And I know
he'll be there for always.
I don't know what to do anymore,
how to deal with this.
I feel I've come to the end
of what I can take.
Time will heal, they say.
What everyone says
about everything.
The years just get heavier.
Why don't they tell you that?
Nobody tells you that.
- Can I get you anything?
- Why do you think
he didn't come in?
- Too frightened.
- You think
he really wanted to meet me?
- I think he wanted to kill you.
Sorry, I just have to go.
- Guilty if I laugh.
Guilty if I drink.
Guilty if I forget.
How do you get through a day?
What to do in it...
I wake up. I go out.
But where to go?
He's always there...
in my head.
And I don't know where to go.
Where to put yourself
after it all?
It's the same for everyone.
Some of us have found an answer.
He's killed
a few Catholics in his time,
and now he's killing his own.
Some protection thing
to control the estate.
Released
after the Good Friday Agreement,
he's on top of the world again,
still living it,
just like he always was:
with his mates
watching his back,
breathing in the scent
of his victories.
If I had gone with him then,
just said yes to him then...
That's all I had to do,
just tell him I was in.
I know that isn't my answer.
But what is my answer,
you know'?
I sit in meeting rooms
all over the world,
and I help men to live with
what they've done to a wife,
a child, a stranger, a neighbor,
how to live with that act
of violence that's, you know,
always there inside us.
But I can't help myself.
Sometimes I feel that
this preacher is just the man
I've become so that I can
cheat my way through my life.
- The next stop is Lurgan.
- Tommy!
- Boys.
How's things?
- Aye, okay.
Tommy!
It's a surprise
to see you in here.
- Would you mind getting this
to Joe Griffin for me?
How's Tommy?
_ Okay?
- Aye.
- Is he expecting it?
- No.
- He might not take it,
but I'll make sure
it gets to him.
- I'd appreciate that.
Thanks.
Light tea, please, love.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Hi, Liam.
Who's this from?
- Sean.
- What is it?
- A letter.
Can I go now?
- What did you say?
- Can I go now?
- Are you taking the girls, Joe?
- The girls?
- To Marion's.
You said you would.
- Marion's.
Oh, aye.
Aye, I'm taking them.
- They're ready now.
They're waiting to go.
What is it?
What's the matter?
- Little's come back.
He's wanting to meet with me.
- Well,
you're not going to meet him.
Joe!
You're not to be calling him!
- I'll be killing him,
not calling him.
- Maybe he's wanting
to end this!
- I should have had him
three weeks ago.
- Why don't I get Sean
to deal with it for you?
- You will fucking do nothing!
- You're not going to see him!
Joe!
- I will have my five minutes!
- Joe!
- Joe.
Joe.
- Ah!
- Come on, man!
_
"Uh!
Fuck you!
Fuck you.
Fuck!
- Uh.
"Enough!
Enough.
Listen.
- Ah!
"Uh!
Ah!
_
- Uh.
- I'm going to Belfast,
and I won't be coming back,
so I'm going to tell you
everything that happened here.
We were told that a Protestant
worker had been threatened,
that if he didn't leave
the yard, he'd be shot.
I asked who the Catholics were
working there.
Somebody said Jim Griffin.
I said, "Tell him if he doesn't
leave, I'll shoot him."
I knew he was leaving anyway,
but it didn't make a difference.
It was my decision.
I was up for anything,
to kill anyone.
I wanted...
to be someone.
I wanted to...
walk into the bar a man,
walk in ten foot tall
and hear the applause
from the only people
that mattered to me then.
And I heard it.
And it was good.
Get rid of me, Joe,
so that when you wake up
in the morning,
it's not me who's in your head.
It's your daughters.
Don't give them me.
Go home and tell them
that you've killed me off,
that I'm gone forever.
I'm nothing, nothing.
Go home and tell them that
and live your life for them.
- We did everything together.
I don't know what it was.
We just clicked.
Alan was great.
He liked me for who I was, and
he didn't care about my problem.
Alan had no sense of smell.
Alan was my best friend.
Alan was my only friend.
But every day was a constant
struggle with my problem.
And every day,
I tried to avoid-ugh!
Damian.
- Look who it is, Patrick Smash.
What are you doing in my corner
of the playground, Smash?
You ain't nothing
but a big, fat loser.
- I haven't done
this sort of thing before...
or talked or...
Sol...
I don't know what to say
or how to say it.
I don't know the words,
the sort of words you use.
I bought some sandals
'cause I'd seen it in a movie.
They were all sitting
in a circle wearing sandals.
Then I remembered
it was a comedy.
But I got here eventually,
got through that door...
I want my daughters to have
a dad they can be proud of.
That's it.
That's it.
Well, that's it.
That's out.
That's out.
That's out.
That's out.
Alistair Little?
- Yeah?
- It's Joe Griffin.
We're finished.
L'?
- J' You're the one
that always knows ♪
♪ When I'm all alone I'
♪ You take me
and you shake me down I'
♪ Soaking to the bone I'
♪ No matter
what I say to you ♪
♪ It's gonna
work out fine I'
♪ Been there before I
♪ You've seen the light I'
♪ Across the Rhine I'
♪ The shadow in the darkness I'
♪ At least you have a soul I'
♪ For all that you
have given me I'
♪ Let me take control I'
♪ You're crystallized
in every drop I'
♪ Every drop of tear I'
♪ I carry you inside of me I'
♪ Please don't ever disappear I'
♪ You're the one
that I am with now I'
♪ I'm all alone I'
♪ I see you swoosh I'
♪ And watch myself climb
into the sun' ♪
♪ 'Cause you're the one
that I am with now a“
♪ I'm all alone I'
♪ I see you swoosh I'
♪ And watch myself climb
into the sun' ♪
I'?
about the man I've become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF,
the Ulster Volunteer Force.
At that time, don't forget,
there were riots
in the streets every week,
petrol bombs every day.
And that was just in our town.
When you got home
and switched on the TV,
you could see it was happening
in every other town as well.
And it was like
we were under siege.
Fathers and brothers of friends
were being killed
in the streets,
and the feeling was,
we all have to do something.
We're all in this together,
and we all have to do something.
- The Republic Clubs
say the Provisionals
tried to kill
31 of their members.
- Thank you.
- And after the overnight
shootings in Belfast,
three men
are still seriously ill.
Also, as we talk
to the Fianna Fàil Party
about their change policy
to Northern Ireland...
The Republican Club's movement
has suspended meetings
and warned members
to be on their guard
after last night's widespread
attacks on its members.
Despite the many shootings,
only one man was killed.
In another incident,
a 22-year-old...
L'?
- I' I got the money I'
♪ I got the place I'
♪ You got the figure I'
♪ You got the face I'
♪ Let's get together I'
♪ The two of us souls
will relax in the night I'
♪ I got the music I'
♪ I got the lights I'
♪ You got the finger I'
♪ Put out the lights I'
♪ Let's get together I'
♪ The two of us souls
will relax in the night I'
♪ I've been waiting
for much too long a'
♪ For this moment
to come along I'
♪ Oh, yeah I
♪ Oh, yeah I
♪ Oh, yeah I
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Fuck.
- Come on, Mum.
- Get down.
- Wait.
' Oi!
- Fuck! Run!
- All right there, kid?
- Hi, Jim.
- All right, Dave.
- Heya, Jim.
- Oi.
- Heya, Dad.
- Hey, Jim.
- You ready for your tea?
- Thanks, Ma.
- Go in and take a seat,
and I'll bring it in to you.
- Hey, Jim, Chrissie
called for you earlier on.
He asked if you were
going out later on.
- I actually called him earlier.
- One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten.
- Okay-
- One, two, three!
Fuck.
Come on.
- I'm doing it.
- They're gonna be
coming out of the bar.
- I know!
- Whoa-had.!
They've left us some buns.
We've got four fucking buns.
- What sort of buns?
- Iced.
- What color?
- Pink.
- Pink?
How did they know?
Fucking hell.
- Eh?
- Fucking hell!
- All right, Stuart.
- All right.
- I'll be right with you.
- When you announced...
- All right there,
Mr. Little, Mrs. Little.
- Hello, Stuart.
- Hello.
- He is still alive,
isn't he, Mummy?
- I like this fella here.
- Aye, he's not bad.
- Ready?
I'll see you later.
- No drinking, now.
- No, Mum, they don't
serve drinks down at the hop.
- Sure, he's a lemonade boy,
Mrs. Little.
You don't need to worry.
- You have a nice evening.
- Did Sammy visit?
- Aye, it's all in the bag.
So what's the craic?
- I'll tell you in the car.
- 39, 40, 41, 42,
43, 44, 45, 46,
47, 48...
- Joe, into the house.
- Yes, Ma.
- Now.
- Yes, Ma.
50, 51, 52, 53, 54,
55, 56, 57, 58...
- See you later, kiddo.
-60, 61...
- Hey, Joe.
- 62, 63, 64, 65, 66.
- Right, lads.
- Aye.
- Where'd you get this from?
- The Windsor.
- Does it run okay?
- It's okay.
- Craig's barn.
Okay, Stuart, open the bag.
- Is he wanting us
to dig his gardens?
- Right.
This is what's going down.
You know Colin
who works at Castle's Yard?
- Aye.
- Aye, the stonemasons?
- Aye.
The Provies told him
that if he didn't leave,
he'd be stiffed.
So I sent the message back,
"If you don't leave, it's one
of yous who'll be stiffed."
They haven't
withdrawn the threat.
So this is our first kill, boys.
I told Sammy
that I wanted to do it.
He said he'd check and see
if there's anything else
going down tonight.
He came back to me,
said it was good to go.
"The hit's yours," he said.
That's when he told me
I could pick up the piece.
- Where from?
- You don't ask that.
- Let's see it, Alistair.
- Aye, go ahead, open it up.
- What is it'?
- It's a .38 Smith & Wesson.
- Could you not get
an automatic?
- Nah, Stuart.
This is better than automatics.
They jam all the time.
With this, you know,
it's not gonna leave me there
fucking clicking, you know,
standing there
with a dick in my hand.
- Aye.
- Aye.
- How many rounds does it get?
- Enough.
- He must be reckoning
we're good, then,
we getting a hit.
- Well, this is the one
I asked for, so we better be.
- What did he say, Sammy,
when he said the hit was ours?
- He just looked us in the eyes
like he was, you know-
he was proud of us.
I'm telling you,
it was a good feeling.
We'll be walking into that bar
ten feet tall now, yeah?
- I can't wait for that.
- We'll have to do it first,
mind.
- Can I hold it?
- Give us a wee jig
after you, will you?
- Aye, give us a look.
Fucking hell, man.
Like fucking James Bond, eh?
- Powerful, isn't it?
- Mad, isn't it?
- Who is it?
- Griffin.
- Griffin?
- He was warned to leave the
yard by the end of the week.
- Hang on.
Jim Griffin?
- Aye.
- Aye, I know him.
That's right.
Castle's Yard Jim Griffin?
- Albert Street, aren't they?
- He's leaving the yard anyway,
isn't he?
Setting out on his own?
- Griffin?
Is he?
- Aye, that's what I'm hearing.
He's setting up
with Eddie Heaney.
- What, you mean
starting his own business?
- Aye.
That's what I'm hearing.
- Hang on.
Can't be here in Lurgan.
Surely not two mason's yards
in one town.
- They're gonna be
up and running by Christmas.
That's what I'm hearing.
- Well, he's still
in Castle's now.
So that's bad luck on him, then.
- I know his mother.
She's our dinner lady
at the apprenticeship.
- Aye, I know
what woman you mean.
I don't know her, like,
but I know who you mean.
It's her sister Catherine
works in the bread shop?
- Aye.
- So is that her son
we're doing?
- It's not Albert Street.
- It used to be, I'm sure of it.
- It's Hill Street.
It's 37 Hill Street.
- 58, 59, 60,
61, 62, 63, 64,
65, 66, 67, 68, 69.
- Get in now, son.
Now, do as your brother says.
- Yes, Dad.
72, 73, 74, 75.
76, 77, 78, 79,
80, 81, 82, 83, 84.
- When we've done it,
we'll burn the car,
we'll burn the gear,
we'll call Sammy,
and we'll go to the hop.
We'll get seen around,
a few dances,
and then we're back home.
Let's go.
- 37?
You sure?
- Aye.
It's left.
- Army!
Down!
- What the fuck?
- What's happened?
- They're passing.
- Go right.
- They've seen me
indicating left now.
- Go left, then.
Just take us around the block,
Andy.
We'll come at it again.
- Oh, fuck.
- What is it?
- The lights have gone red.
- Where are the jeeps?
- Right behind them.
- What?
Are they staying in the vehicle?
- So far.
- Alistair,
this has got to be a no-goer.
Let's just get out of here.
- Aye, do you want
to get out of here?
- No, I don't!
No!
Sammy will think we're chickens.
Are they doing anything?
- They're just sitting there.
- Fuck, Alistair.
- Stay down.
- We're off.
- You play golf?
Well, that's well good.
Did you watch me play?
- Joe!
- I didn't do too badly.
Let's have a game.
- I'd like to play
a round with you.
- Really?
Oh, ho.
I've scored already.
Could be a very short show.
- 123, 124.
- Joe.
Come on, son.
- I'm almost hitting a record.
128, 129, 130,
131,132,133,134.
135, 136, 137.
Aw!
- I've scored.
Go. Go.
- Let's go.
- Hi, Alistair.
- Hiya.
- Enjoy the evening.
Behave yourselves.
I'?
- You want a drink, Skittle?
"No!
Stop it, Mummy'
- Why didn't you do something?
You didn't do anything!
- Let go, Mum!
- You could've stopped him!
A milk bottle or something!
' Mummy. please!
Mummy!
Stop it, Mum, please!
Please!
- You killed him!
You killed him,
your own brother!
No!
- Never knew why that picture
of a cat was there.
And the other one,
don't know what happened
to that one.
I mean...
What the fuck?
- Sorry.
What did you say?
- What?
- Did you
not just say something?
- Was I talking to myself?
It gets me a good seat.
I've had no one
sitting next to me for years.
One On One, for fuck's sake.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
Would you turn back?
- Are you wanting me to turn
back?
- I'd love you for it.
- I think I should
get you there first', don't you?
I mean, I can take you back
once I've got you there.
- I'd rather eat my two fucking
feet than you get me there.
Jesus, I mean...
- Do you want me to call them?
I can call them.
- No.
You go on.
You do your job.
- They said to get you there.
- And what?
- And what?
- Well, I know
you have to get me there.
That's why
you're driving me there.
I mean, did you say
you wouldn't get me there?
You mean they mean
I wouldn't get you there.
That's why
you have to get me there.
Is that it?
- Something like that.
- No, you drive.
You do your job.
- Do you mind?
- I don't want you
getting in trouble.
I mean, Jesus, I'm in trouble.
I can't have you in trouble.
Then we'll never get back.
- So that last one you did,
Alistair,
the Cassacks-
sorry, no, the Cossacks.
- Kosovans.
- Kosovans.
- Aye, Albanian and Serb,
they are.
- Aye, that's the one.
- That one
turned out quite nicely.
- So did they show it
in the end, then?
- They did,
about six months ago now.
- Oh, I was looking out for it.
- Actually,
I didn't see it myself.
I was in South Africa
at the time.
- Swanning around the world,
talking about your feelings.
A ticket to paradise.
For killing a man!
I mean,
where would he be without me?
40 years
in the factory in Lurgan
making egg cartons
like the rest of us.
Aye, not him.
He can make a living
telling the pope, the queen,
the Dalai fucking Lama
how it feels to kill a man,
how it feels,
"the suffering I have,
the burden I carry."
Why should you get women
in pastel shades
and rosy perfumes giving you tea
and buns and wine
from fucking Chile
just so as you can tell 'em
how it feels
to be putting three bullets
into my brother's head?
12 years for armed robbery,
membership, and murder.
Fuck!
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- You made me jump.
- What do you think
that does to me?
I'm one fuck of a lot closer
to me than you are.
- So is this another one of your
counseling things, Alistair?
- No.
Well, kind of.
It's a program
about reconciliation,
my own, in fact.
It's my own.
I'm to meet the brother
of the man I killed.
- Is that where we're going now?
- Aye.
- Well,
have you not met him yet?
- No, no.
Not since the day.
- And did you ask for this?
- That was never
gonna be my call, Ray.
I don't have the right to ask
anything from him.
- So did he call you or...
- No, the program people,
they approached him,
then me.
I said I'd be willing to,
you know-
If it's a meeting he wants,
I'd be willing to do it,
to see him.
I'd do anything to...
you know, to...
- Did you do time
for it, Alistair?
- Aye.
There was no release date,
but I did 12 years.
- You could've stopped him.
Why didn't you stop him?
You could've stopped him.
- Can you stop the car?
- Can I get you anything?
You want some water?
- He was only a wee boy
at the time, you know?
- And is it just the brother
you're meeting?
- Aye.
Aye.
That's...
His father died eight months
later, heart attack,
a broken heart, the family said.
His brother Daniel,
it was an overdose with him.
After that,
his mother, she died.
That's what happens.
It's often what happens...
To the family, you know?
That's the part people don't
understand, don't realize...
what happens after.
- Paddy Barnes
is having to content himself
with a bronze medal
in the Olympic Games
after losing
in his semifinal bout
against Chinese world champion
Zou Shiming.
Defeat was comprehensive
by 15 points to nil.
But commentator-
- You okay...
to carry on?
- Aye.
Is it good pay you get?
- It's not bad.
Are you thinking of it?
- Aye. why not?
Looks comfy.
Would I need a driving license?
- There's always
a snag somewhere, eh?
She's been staring at me
for 33 years.
Do you know that,
what it's like,
your mother blaming you
for 33 years?
Three bullets
went into his head.
You'd know that, though.
Did you know another one hit
a picture of a cat on the wall?
It wasn't me
who broke that picture.
I never got the blame
for that one.
And if it wasn't me who broke
the picture on the wall,
then it wasn't me
who killed my brother.
I didn't kill him
like she said I did.
It was you.
It was you in the car,
arriving at her house
and shooting three bullets
into her son's head
and making her grieve
the way she did,
blaming me the way she did.
Well, I'm the one
in the car now, visiting you.
I'm the one in the car now.
I'm the one in the car now.
Is this it?
- This is if.
Yes.
Yes, Paul here.
We're just coming in now.
Yes, he is.
Right.
- Jesus, will you
look at this place?
- Joe, hi.
How are you?
- Hi, good.
- Good.
Wow, you made good time.
Well done.
- Well, I was just
sitting in the back.
- Come on, I'll introduce you.
This is David,
Michael's assistant.
- Hi.
- Come on inside,
and we'll find Michael.
- It'll be grand.
- Here we go, Mr. Griffin.
- Mr. Griffin
studying the house.
- It's an interesting staircase,
isn't it?
You sort of expect Bette Davis
to come sweeping down it.
- I could move in here,
no problem with that.
- Well, it's yours for one day
at any rate.
We set up a nice room for you
upstairs to relax in.
- Uh-huh.
- Come in and meet the crew.
- Aye.
- Joe?
- You know Stephanie, don't you?
- They didn't tell me
you'd arrived.
It's good to see you.
_ Aye, you too, aye.
- John, video technician.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Hello.
- Martin, camera.
- Hello.
Well, here you are, pal,
a fully signed-up member
of the celebrity circuit
of life's victims:
men in love with donkeys,
twins stuck together
by their bollocks,
elephant women who can't
get out of their chairs,
and now you.
- I know it's all a bit,
you know...
But they're all lovely people,
and they're very experienced
at this sort of thing.
Well, Fiona
will take you upstairs.
- Yeah.
Okay, this way.
So did you get that
poor old toaster sorted out?
When we last spoke on the phone,
were you not
sorting out a toaster?
- Oh, aye.
- Here we are.
Isn't it gorgeous?
- Can I smoke?
- Um, yeah,
over there on the balcony.
Now, what can I get you?
Tea or coffee?
- Tea would be nice, aye.
- Yeah?
Milk, sugar?
- Aye, milk,
two sugars, thank you.
- No problem.
- Joe.
How are you?
- Yeah, good.
Aye, I'm good.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Oh, that's okay, aye.
- How are you feeling?
- Aye, I'm okay.
I'm okay, aye.
- Everybody looking after you?
- Aye.
- Good.
I know it's going to be
a difficult day for you,
but we will do everything we can
to make sure it's, you know-
it goes the way you want it to.
So if there's anything you need,
any questions,
anything you're worried about,
you just stop us.
And, well, basically,
we're here for you.
_ Aye, okay.
- So it's very important
that you let us know
if things aren't feeling right.
Now, has Fiona taken you through
the format and so forth?
- Aye.
- Okay, good.
So just to briefly
put you in the picture
on how the day
is going to pan out.
Now, you've got time
to settle down here
and make yourself comfortable.
- Will you have someone
in the bed for me?
- Then at some point,
the makeup girl will come in
just to put a little,
you know, on your face.
Sometimes the camera
can make the skin shine, so...
She only needs a few minutes.
Then when you're ready,
we'll do a little shooting,
filming, up here.
And then,
at around 12:00,
you know, when it feels right,
we can go downstairs and-
you've seen the room,
haven't you?
- Aye.
- Okay, good.
So in terms of your
actual meeting with him,
it's important to remember-
for all of us to remember-
where we're trying to get to
in this program, the truth.
- Yes, I know.
I know what you want.
Shake his fucking hand.
Then we can all go home.
- The last thing I want to do
is push you into areas
of your mind
where you don't want to go.
But on the other hand,
it's important for us
to understand
all the emotions in this.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
- Aye.
Aye, I understand.
- I know it's difficult,
which is why
I don't want to push that.
But I do want you to be truthful
with how you feel.
What I'm saying really is,
I just want you to be you.
Michael?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- Yeah, I'm coming.
And, you know, we are all going
to have an important day here.
I can't tell you how important
I think this is going to be
in terms of-well, in terms
of what it's going to do.
This is the question we are all
wanting the answer to.
Truth and reconciliation:
what's at stake?
Is it possible?
That's it.
Speech over.
- I can do handshakes, Michael.
And I can do victim.
I can do handshake and victim
both at the same time.
But I've made a decision
on this one.
Reconciliation?
You have no idea.
A handshake?
For killing my brother?
For me taking the blame?
33 years of that.
What do you think I am, a joke?
If ever a man deserved
a knife run through him,
that scum of the Earth.
Truth and reconciliation?
I'm going for revenge.
- Oh, hi.
I'm Vika.
- Joe.
How are you doing?
- Your tea.
- Oh, aye!
Thanks.
- I'm the runner.
- The runner?
- Do you mind
if I have a smoke out there?
- Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, of course you can!
Come on, come on.
Here, have one of mine.
- It's okay, I can-
- Oh, Jesus, come on!
- Thank you.
- Here.
- Thank you.
- You stay out here with me
and smoke your ciggy.
- Thanks, but-
- I'm the star of the show.
You have to do what I say.
- I've come to look after you
anyway, so
- Oh, that's great!
Everybody's looking after me!
They're even worrying
about my toaster.
You're a what?
A runner?
- Yeah, it means I run around
doing anything I'm told to do.
- A dogsbody, then.
- A dogsbody?
- No, no, runner's better.
I like runner.
- Young Fiona here visited me
out of the blue one morning,
said she was a researcher
on a program called One On One.
She was all posh and lovely,
you know,
and everything's sort of happy,
and her voice
is all up here and down there,
and the weather's
always doing something,
and every time she turns,
she smiles at me,
all cornflakes and sunshine,
you know'?
I mean, would she smile at me
if she didn't know me
and I sat down next to her
in the pub?
She'd call the police.
Fuck, I would!
So anyway,
I let her into the house,
and now look
what I've got myself into.
- Maybe it's a good thing
you're here.
- Aye.
Maybe it is.
Where are you from?
- Vladivostok.
- Vladivostok and Belfast?
Does bad luck
run in your family?
- I like it here.
- I like you here too.
I like you!
So she was sitting
in my kitchen, and she says,
"This is an important
program about men
who have become the man
they have become,"
that you have become or some
fuck knows thing-I don't know.
But then she said,
"It's really more about the man
"you could become.
"L think that's
what excites us all
about this project," she said.
She had the light in her eyes,
you know,
the missionary light.
"This is a program
about healing," she said.
"It's about reconciliation."
"What is that," I said, "people
coming out of their graves?"
"No," she said, smiling,
"that's resurrection.
'We want you to meet the man
that killed your brother,
face-to-face."
I don't know.
The thing is, it isn't the way
she was looking and talking.
I wasn't really listening
to anything she was telling me.
It's just that...
she showed me a little kindness.
- Well, I'm sure-
- But I don't do kindness.
I fucking hate kindness.
I don't let that in.
I never let it in.
I let it in then,
but never again.
The trouble with me is,
I've got all the wrong feelings.
But him, Oh, his feelings,
they are just right,
just perfect!
He did it in cold blood,
you know,
but now look at the man
he has become.
"What is it like to kill a man?"
they all ask him.
'Well, you see,
you have to understand..."
And off he goes again telling
them about this and that.
But hats off to him.
He's cracked it, all right.
He knows they all love
to shake hands with a killer,
and I hear he's very good
at all this talking malarkey.
- Is there someone with him?
- Yes, oh, yes.
- That's important, you know'?
And whatever he tells you
he's feeling about this,
he's going to be very angry,
I mean, very angry.
And that anger
could go in any direction.
- Yes, I understand that.
- So you have to be prepared
to stop the filming
at any moment.
I mean, we're not
performing monkeys here.
- No, of course not.
- I realize
you have a program to make,
but what's happening to him
has to come first.
- Yes, absolutely.
- You have to make sure
he doesn't come to any harm.
- He can talk about forgiveness
until his arse dries up.
"Listen to him," they will say,
"and there is hope
in the world."
And you know what he's thinking?
He's thinking, "Okay, pal,
do this gig well here,
"and I've got another 20 years
of paychecks in front of me.
"L can talk about that day then
and this day now
"for the next 20 years,
how I came face-to-face
"with the brother of my victim
"and how it was the final act
"in my journey towards
a magnificent redemption
"and how listening to me is the
way forward in life, plus VAT.
"And with their checks
in my pocket,
"I will talk
unto the wretched of the world,
"and I will heal them
with my words.
"And I won't ever have to work
in a fucking egg carton factory
ever again."
So the man shot my brother
three times in the head.
The man is having
the life of Riley.
What should I do?
Do I shake his hand,
or do I kill him?
- Well, killing him
wouldn't be good for him...
- For sure of that!
- But it wouldn't
be good for you either.
- Oh, not good for me?
My five minutes of heaven?
How would that
not be good for me?
- Joe, hi.
Everything okay?
' AYE. Okay, aye.
- Okay, they're just doing
a wee bit of filming downstairs,
and then we're pretty much
set to go, okay?
Can Cathy come in
and do a wee bit of makeup
just to get you ready a little?
' AYE. Okay, aye.
- Hi, Joe.
I'm Cathy.
How are you, all right?
- Good, aye.
I'm good.
- Lovely.
I just want
to sit you down here.
That's lovely.
Now, this is just to take
the shine off your skin.
- Fuck, am I shining?
- Okay, Alistair,
the camera's running,
so just in your own time.
- In order for me...
In order for me to talk
about the man I have become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF,
the Ulster Volunteer Force.
The situation at that time,
you know,
there were riots on the streets-
- Cut there.
Sorry, Alistair.
That's very good,
but we're just
picking up some noise.
- That's really good.
- Okay-
- Okay.
Okay, we're good to go again.
Running up.
- And in your own time,
Alistair.
- For me to talk
about the man I have become,
you need to know
about the man I was.
I was 14 when I joined
the Tartan gangs,
and I was 15
when I joined the UVF.
At that time, don't forget,
there were riots
on the streets every week,
petrol bombs every day.
And that was just in our town.
When you got home
and switched on the TV,
you could see it was happening
in every other town as well.
And it was like
we were under siege.
Fathers and brothers of friends
were being killed
in the streets,
and the feeling was,
we all have to do something.
We're all in this together,
and we all have to do something.
The thing you have to remember,
what you have to understand,
is the mind-set.
Once you have
signed up to terror
and joined the organization,
the group,
your mind closes right down.
It becomes
only our story that matters,
not their story, the Catholics.
It's only my people
that are being killed
and who are suffering
and who need looking after.
Catholics being killed?
Doesn't enter your head.
And so when I went up to Sammy,
our local commander,
and told him I wanted
to kill a Catholic man,
it wasn't
a wrong thing for me to do.
In my head, it was the proper,
the just, the fair,
the good thing to do.
And so it was easy.
When I got to the house,
there was a boy in the street.
I didn't expect him to be there,
but there he was.
I only looked at him
for a moment,
because I had a job to do.
But if I had known
that he was Jim's brother,
I would have shot him as well.
It was in the mind-set.
It was tit for tat
and perhaps one more, why not'?
That's what it was like.
I was only 17.
I had seen my people fighting
ever since I was a wee boy.
You take sides
with your friends as a boy,
but we weren't just
throwing stones over the fence.
We were shooting guns.
What I want to tell people,
what society must do,
is to stop people
getting to the point
where they join the group,
because when you get
to that point, it's too late.
No one's going to stop you.
No one's going
to change your mind.
And once you're in,
you will do anything.
You will kill anyone
on the other side
because it's right to do it.
Once your man
has joined the group,
society has lost him.
And what he needs to hear
are voices on his own side
stopping him before he goes in.
There were no voices on my side,
not on my side of the town,
not on my estate.
No one was telling me anything
other than
that killing is right.
It was only in prison
when I heard that other voice.
And the Muslims now, you know,
the kids now
are like I was then.
They need
to hear those voices now,
stopping them from thinking
that killing is good.
They need
their own people to say no.
That's where
they need to hear it.
And that's where I would
put my money,
on making those voices heard
in every mosque in the country.
When I got home, my mother
and father were watching the TV,
and it came on the news that
the man I had shot was dead.
I was so excited.
I couldn't wait for when I would
get my congratulations.
Sammy was going to come
knocking at my door.
He was going
to lead me out into the street,
then proudly walk me
into the bar,
and everybody was going
to stand up and applaud me.
I would have
shot anyone for that.
And that is why I talk
to anybody who will listen now,
to tell them
to stop boys like me thinking
that to shoot an innocent
and a decent man in the head
is a good thing.
- Alistair,
when he comes into the room,
what are you hoping for?
- Well, what I have to do
is to be honest with him.
That's the most difficult thing,
but that's what
he's gonna need from me
is to be honest with him.
- Cut.
Good.
- Fantastic.
- Thank you.
That was perfect.
- Yeah.
- Once he's in the room
with you, do you think-
I mean, is it likely
he'll want an apology from you?
- Michael, Michael,
he doesn't want
to hear me say I'm sorry
or to ask for forgiveness.
Reconciliation
is not on the agenda.
That's not what he needs.
He has come here
and I have come here
so he can confront me.
- Hiya, Joe.
- Ah, here he is.
- Joe, I wondered
if I could just sort you out
with a wee radio mic here.
- Where are you putting that?
- How are we doing?
Ready to go?
- I just need
to clip this on here.
- I don't like that side.
- How are you feeling?
_ Aye, okay.
- What about if I put it
in here, is that better?
- Thank you.
- You sure?
- Aye, okay.
- Just need
to clip this on here now.
All right, that's it.
- Okay, good.
So this is what we're doing.
What we're going to do now,
we're going
to bring you downstairs.
Now, the cameraman
will be filming you,
but don't look at him...
Joe?
Yeah, Joe?
- Going downstairs, aye.
- Now, when you open the door
and go into the room,
make sure you open the door wide
and leave it open, okay?
- Aye.
- You see, what the cameraman
will be doing,
he'll be following you
into the room,
and somebody else will be
closing the door behind him.
Okay?
" Aye.
- Clear?
- Aye.
- Sure?
- Aye, I'm sure.
- Okay-
- Okay, here you are.
Okay, we're ready.
Okay.
- Quiet, please!
Running up.
- Joe, whenever you're ready.
- Shit!
- Cut!
- What'?
- Sorry, I nearly fell there.
- Sorry, Joe.
These things happen.
I'm afraid
we really do need that shot.
Would you mind
just doing that again,
the walk down the stairs
and then into the room?
_ Aye, okay.
- Sorry, Joe.
Thank you.
- Okay, guys, lets rehearse
our moves until we get it right.
Then we'll go again.
- Can I get a drink of water,
please?
Oh, yeah.
- Stay with him.
- So you're still
looking after me, are you?
- I just want to say
I hope it goes well.
But he seems a nice man.
- Who does?
- Mr. Little.
- Have you met him?
- Yes.
- Where?
- In Belfast.
I went to his home.
- I didn't know that.
- Yes,
I was delivering something.
- To his home?
- Yes.
- Did you go in?
- Yes.
- Where was that?
- City center,
beside the motorway,
a block of flats.
- It's a flat, then, is it?
- Yes, a flat.
- So he let you in, did he?
- I didn't stay long.
I...
- What was it like?
- His flat?
- What was it like?
- It was like...
cold.
Empty-
- Empty?
- Like not a home.
Not a happy place.
- Was it?
- I didn't like it.
- Is he on his own, then?
- Yes.
- Ls he?
But you liked him?
- Yes.
- What did you talk about?
- About this.
This meeting.
- What did he say?
- Well, he was worried about it.
- Oh, I bet he was.
- He was worried for you.
- Joe, ready whenever you are.
- Okay-
What do you...
Will you let me finish my ciggy?
- Aye, yeah, sure, fine.
- Worried for me, what do you
mean he was worried for me?
- That...
He said he thought it would be
too painful for you.
- He said that, did he?
Too painful,
is that what he said?
- Yes, difficult for you.
- Painful or difficult?
- He said both.
- Did he?
What about him?
What did he say about himself?
- He didn't talk about himself.
But he seems very sad.
"Sad?
- I don't know, but...
I don't know him, really,
but that's how he seemed.
Like he couldn't forgive himself
for what he's done to you.
There's an expression you say...
a broken man.
A broken man.
So it's good.
It's good
that you're meeting, I think.
- Fuck.
- Ready when you are, Joe.
Okay?
Ready when you are.
- Aye.
I need an end to this.
- Everything okay?
Joe.
Everything okay?
- Aye.
- You ready?
- Aye.
- Joe, just a wee bit more here.
There you go.
Great.
- Quiet, please!
Running up.
- Okay, Joe.
Ready when you are.
Joe, whenever you're ready.
Joe?
Are you all right?
- Do you want to sit down?
- I don't want the camera there.
- I know. It takes
some getting used to-
- You'll have to take it away.
- Well, the thing about that-
- The thing is nothing!
- Joe, why don't we just go
and talk this through?
- I'm not
talking through anything!
I don't want the camera in my
face when I am meeting that man!
- We did agree to the context-
- I don't care what we agreed
to. I'm not agreeing to it now!
- I hear what you're saying,
but there has to be a camera.
- Would you like
to speak to Stephanie?
- Stephanie?
- Joe, they're going to be
a few minutes setting up anyway,
so why don't we take
a few moments out, go upstairs-
- I've been up the stairs!
I've been down the stairs!
I am not a fucking show pony!
I will meet him!
I want to meet him!
But I don't
want the camera there!
- I understand that, Joe,
but now, what I think-
- Joe, what we can't do is-
- No!
- Joe!
- 33 years, that boy
has been living in this head,
standing there, staring at me,
looking up at me,
never leaving me.
Never leaving.
Every morning, waiting for me.
And I know
he'll be there for always.
I don't know what to do anymore,
how to deal with this.
I feel I've come to the end
of what I can take.
Time will heal, they say.
What everyone says
about everything.
The years just get heavier.
Why don't they tell you that?
Nobody tells you that.
- Can I get you anything?
- Why do you think
he didn't come in?
- Too frightened.
- You think
he really wanted to meet me?
- I think he wanted to kill you.
Sorry, I just have to go.
- Guilty if I laugh.
Guilty if I drink.
Guilty if I forget.
How do you get through a day?
What to do in it...
I wake up. I go out.
But where to go?
He's always there...
in my head.
And I don't know where to go.
Where to put yourself
after it all?
It's the same for everyone.
Some of us have found an answer.
He's killed
a few Catholics in his time,
and now he's killing his own.
Some protection thing
to control the estate.
Released
after the Good Friday Agreement,
he's on top of the world again,
still living it,
just like he always was:
with his mates
watching his back,
breathing in the scent
of his victories.
If I had gone with him then,
just said yes to him then...
That's all I had to do,
just tell him I was in.
I know that isn't my answer.
But what is my answer,
you know'?
I sit in meeting rooms
all over the world,
and I help men to live with
what they've done to a wife,
a child, a stranger, a neighbor,
how to live with that act
of violence that's, you know,
always there inside us.
But I can't help myself.
Sometimes I feel that
this preacher is just the man
I've become so that I can
cheat my way through my life.
- The next stop is Lurgan.
- Tommy!
- Boys.
How's things?
- Aye, okay.
Tommy!
It's a surprise
to see you in here.
- Would you mind getting this
to Joe Griffin for me?
How's Tommy?
_ Okay?
- Aye.
- Is he expecting it?
- No.
- He might not take it,
but I'll make sure
it gets to him.
- I'd appreciate that.
Thanks.
Light tea, please, love.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Hi, Liam.
Who's this from?
- Sean.
- What is it?
- A letter.
Can I go now?
- What did you say?
- Can I go now?
- Are you taking the girls, Joe?
- The girls?
- To Marion's.
You said you would.
- Marion's.
Oh, aye.
Aye, I'm taking them.
- They're ready now.
They're waiting to go.
What is it?
What's the matter?
- Little's come back.
He's wanting to meet with me.
- Well,
you're not going to meet him.
Joe!
You're not to be calling him!
- I'll be killing him,
not calling him.
- Maybe he's wanting
to end this!
- I should have had him
three weeks ago.
- Why don't I get Sean
to deal with it for you?
- You will fucking do nothing!
- You're not going to see him!
Joe!
- I will have my five minutes!
- Joe!
- Joe.
Joe.
- Ah!
- Come on, man!
_
"Uh!
Fuck you!
Fuck you.
Fuck!
- Uh.
"Enough!
Enough.
Listen.
- Ah!
"Uh!
Ah!
_
- Uh.
- I'm going to Belfast,
and I won't be coming back,
so I'm going to tell you
everything that happened here.
We were told that a Protestant
worker had been threatened,
that if he didn't leave
the yard, he'd be shot.
I asked who the Catholics were
working there.
Somebody said Jim Griffin.
I said, "Tell him if he doesn't
leave, I'll shoot him."
I knew he was leaving anyway,
but it didn't make a difference.
It was my decision.
I was up for anything,
to kill anyone.
I wanted...
to be someone.
I wanted to...
walk into the bar a man,
walk in ten foot tall
and hear the applause
from the only people
that mattered to me then.
And I heard it.
And it was good.
Get rid of me, Joe,
so that when you wake up
in the morning,
it's not me who's in your head.
It's your daughters.
Don't give them me.
Go home and tell them
that you've killed me off,
that I'm gone forever.
I'm nothing, nothing.
Go home and tell them that
and live your life for them.
- We did everything together.
I don't know what it was.
We just clicked.
Alan was great.
He liked me for who I was, and
he didn't care about my problem.
Alan had no sense of smell.
Alan was my best friend.
Alan was my only friend.
But every day was a constant
struggle with my problem.
And every day,
I tried to avoid-ugh!
Damian.
- Look who it is, Patrick Smash.
What are you doing in my corner
of the playground, Smash?
You ain't nothing
but a big, fat loser.
- I haven't done
this sort of thing before...
or talked or...
Sol...
I don't know what to say
or how to say it.
I don't know the words,
the sort of words you use.
I bought some sandals
'cause I'd seen it in a movie.
They were all sitting
in a circle wearing sandals.
Then I remembered
it was a comedy.
But I got here eventually,
got through that door...
I want my daughters to have
a dad they can be proud of.
That's it.
That's it.
Well, that's it.
That's out.
That's out.
That's out.
That's out.
Alistair Little?
- Yeah?
- It's Joe Griffin.
We're finished.
L'?
- J' You're the one
that always knows ♪
♪ When I'm all alone I'
♪ You take me
and you shake me down I'
♪ Soaking to the bone I'
♪ No matter
what I say to you ♪
♪ It's gonna
work out fine I'
♪ Been there before I
♪ You've seen the light I'
♪ Across the Rhine I'
♪ The shadow in the darkness I'
♪ At least you have a soul I'
♪ For all that you
have given me I'
♪ Let me take control I'
♪ You're crystallized
in every drop I'
♪ Every drop of tear I'
♪ I carry you inside of me I'
♪ Please don't ever disappear I'
♪ You're the one
that I am with now I'
♪ I'm all alone I'
♪ I see you swoosh I'
♪ And watch myself climb
into the sun' ♪
♪ 'Cause you're the one
that I am with now a“
♪ I'm all alone I'
♪ I see you swoosh I'
♪ And watch myself climb
into the sun' ♪
I'?