Firstborn (1984) - full transcript

Because he's the oldest, Jake has been the man of the house, since his parents divorce. When Mom starts seeing Sam, who always seems to be trying some new way to get rich quick, and declares he's the man of the house now, Jake puts up with it. Until he discovers Sam's illegal activities.


MAN: Wait. Wait a second.



No class.
Oh, yeah?

I saved some for you,
that's class.

Did you spit in it?

No, I forgot.

Where'd you get those batteries?

What batteries?
The ones that you're using.

I had 'em.
You didn't have 'em last night.

I found 'em.
You found 'em?

You found them right out of my Walkman,

that's where you found 'em.
Now give me those!

Don't break it.
If you ever come in my room again,

then I'm gonna cut off your feet.
No, you won't,

'cause then you would have to
carry me to school.

Don't try and find out.

BOTH: Morning.

Can I get you
something, Bri?

Wet Willie!
WENDY: What's going on?

WENDY: Wait a minute!
BRIAN: What you gonna do, huh?

You're gonna drink this,

BRIAN: Booger brains.
Oh good, nice talk, very descriptive.

Stop it!
Or wear it!

Oh, cool it. Would you
guys get back in here?


Brian, you didn't
eat anything.

Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.

At least have
some milk, okay?


Uh, Brian, here, eat this on
the bus, at least.

You eat it for me.


GIRL: Come on,
we're gonna be late.

BOY 1: You got it,
you got it.

LEE: What's up, boys?
BOY 2: How's it going?

Hey, Lee, the hell is
in your ear, Lee?

Oh, no,
did you do it?

Oh, my God!
Oh! Did it hurt?

Oh, no. No.
Did you get it in the right ear?

I hope.

What did your folks say?

They were happy.

Yeah, I told 'em
I wasn't getting a Mohawk.


I wouldn't be
seen with this...

Hey, you know
what my dad told me?

My dad said that
we're gonna have, like,

undercover cops
in every high school.

Oh, he should know, because he's
a doper, I guess?

Shut up!
Yo, I wonder who it is.

I was thinking
it was you.


Morning, class.

Hope all of you have had
a nice healthy breakfast

to fortify those
active little minds of yours.

Books under your seats, pens
and paper out for a little quiz.


Yesterday's assignment,

GIRL: You said
it was optional.

Right, the assignment
was optional.

You didn't have to do it, but I didn't
say we wouldn't have a quiz, did I?

Well, you tricked us.
Yeah, I tricked you.

But it's not fair!

Big news, Jill, life isn't always
fair. That's part of the lesson.

Uh, this isn't
supposed to be life.


How are we supposed to
know what's what?

I mean, if you
don't tell us.

You wouldn't have to
worry about it, Beckman,

if you spent
as much time studying

as you do
stuffing your face.

BOY: Beckman.

Any other complaints?

Let's take the quiz.


COACH: It's good.

Stay low. Stay low.

Bend your back!
Bend your back!

Keep your hands
on that stick!

Keep it going, guys!
Keep that ball down.

Good scoop!
Good scoop!

Play it out.

BOY: All right!
COACH: Good scrimmage.



COACH: Take your time.

Look up, Field,
there's an open man!

COACH: Come on!
Keep it moving!

Good pass. Good pass.

Nice shot.

COACH: Not good enough,
Why not?

Cause I wanna
see it in a game!


BOY 1: Yeah, come on.
BOY 2: Dude...

All right, food time.
Ooh, yeah.

BOY 3: Hey, so what happened?

LEE: Yeah, so, Melanie's sporting
a tube top, right?

And I go up to her,
and I'm like, "'Sup?"

And she's
looking right at it.

Oh, give me a break.

LEE: The noodle,
the beef noodle.

The one-eyed snake
with a turtleneck.


Yo, Brian, my man,
what's up?

Hey, sit a little closer,
huh, Brian?

into heavy metal!

They don't even know.
By the time they're our age,

they're gonna be biting
the heads off chickens

and listening to Barry Manilow.

JAKE: Barry Manilow?
Will you explain that, please?

No, thank you.

Oh, God,
they're closing in on us.

JAKE: What do you want?
Get outta here.

Chocolate chippers.


Well, Jeffrey wants one.
Well, make him do a trick.


BOY: Make him speak.

Here, Jeffy.


WENDY: Hey, can I have
a hand out here?


Hey, I thought we were going to
get your learner's permit.

Yeah, right.
You forgot?

I did not forget.

Till I get mine.

My parents will never sleep again.

Oh, looks like the Russian army
stopped by for lunch again today.

Glad I went to the store.

Things got a little out of control.

Things got totally out of control.

Hey, let's go
if we're going, huh?

Oh, yeah.
Guys, I gotta split, okay?

Later, Chief.

All right, man.
Thanks a lot.

Bye, boys.

BOY 1: Bye.

BOY 2: So, where to?
Where are we going?

LEE: We'll go to your house.

Well, can I come?

Put on a clean shirt, huh?

Can Jeffrey come?

WENDY: Guess not.



I can't believe it.

What's that?


When did you get so big
and good-looking?

And how'd you get
so smart, huh?

Not from me.

My God,
you're gonna be driving.

You're just gonna come home to
change your clothes and eat, huh?

I'm never gonna see you again.

Don't get nostalgic on me.

Come here, hon.

Come on, let's go.
Oh, too uptight to give your mom a hug, huh?

Who's uptight?
Are you too cool for this stuff? Is that it?

What are you doing?
Oh, I'm getting my hug.

Oh, come on, Jake.


Listen, this is
the real stuff.

And don't you forget it.


If they're gonna be driving,
I'm moving to Idaho.

JAKE: So, what if I just
wanna drive around the neighborhood?

Well, you can't drive without
me in the car.

You can ride a motorcycle
with a learner's.

Oh, they're
too dangerous, honey.

Not a real big one,
just a dirt bike.

Well, we'll see.

Yeah, that means "no way."
Shut up.

Look, you're doing just fine.

Just take it easy, okay?

You take it easy.

Yeah, he drove all that summer;
Dad let him.

Colorful guy.
Yeah, and on the highway.

You little narc!
Hey, stop it, both of you!

Both hands
on the wheel!

WENDY: All right. Look. Look.
Want me to drive this car?


Jake, you can drive!

He can even drive with one hand.


I could ask him
to turn it up.

Ask him to turn it up,
maybe he'll turn it down.


WENDY: Jake. Lisa.

Oh, Mom, look,
uh, one sec.

We just have to
put on our clothes.



(CHUCKLES) Very funny.

Dinner's ready.

Now, not too much parmesan
cheese on that, Bri.

How's your pasta, Jeffrey?

You're not eating?
No, I'm going out later.

With Russ?

Bri, I don't
go out with Russ anymore.

Come on, you know that.

People can
always change their minds.

Jake, I wish
it was that simple.

So, who are you
going out with?

Just some friends.


Oh, no, no, no, not all the
windows, just in there.

Okay, still extra $25.

Just for the front?


Hey, Bri, will you stop fooling
around and clean your room, please?

Your dad's coming in town.

He is, today?

you want windows, okay?

Yeah, yeah,
that's okay.

Yeah, he called this morning.
He sounded good!

Well, when's he getting in?

Hey, Dad's coming
to pick us up for dinner,

and then
he's going to Montreal.


Colorful guy.

Uh, Bri, that T-shirt,
that's what you're wearing?

You can't be serious.
He bought it for me. Dad likes Conan.

(SIGHS) Not that much.

Oh, honey, please don't eat,

He's gonna wanna take us
someplace nice, you know?

(SIGHS) Brian,
trust me on this.

And watch out
for your jacket.

And bring your shoes.



You look nice.



Bri, look at you,

you're growing like a weed.

How long you gonna stay?

Just tonight.
Hey, Jake.

How you doing?

God, it's good
to see you guys.

I really missed you.
JAKE: It's good to see you.

ALAN: Three months
is too long.

JAKE: So, where are we going for dinner?
Wait and see.

It's good to see you.

I wasn't sure this
was going to work,

but I had to
give it a try.

This will be quick,
but memorable.

When's your plane leave?
7:00 a.m.

Well, come on in.

Actually, uh, we better move it.
I made reservations.

But I want you to see the house.
Let's have a drink.

Joanne's at the hotel.

BRIAN: Joanne's here?


She's going to Montreal?


Well, you better get going.
You guys ready?

BRIAN: Well, can Mom come with us?
Oh, no, I can't.

I made other plans, and I couldn't
break them, could I?

Go on. Go on.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

You guys go on ahead
for a minute, all right?

I wanna talk
to your mom. Okay?


Okay, let's go
get some chow.

Your mom seemed good.
Everything okay?


Everything at home,
you know what I mean.

Yeah, everything's okay.

Russ all over with?
Looks that way.

Is she going out?
Is she seeing anybody?

I think, yeah.

Maybe someone new.

Good. Good.

JAKE: Uh, yeah, we're having
a Saturday scrimmage, right?

I'm coming downfield,
and Brody, remember Brody,

the guy who can bench-press a house?
ALAN: Big bozo.

JAKE: He comes out
and knocks me

right into the ground,

I'm hurting,
I can't even breathe...

So how does your team look?
How are they gonna do this year?

Pretty good. Pretty good.
Springfield's our first game,

and I feel good about it.
I've never seen lacrosse.

I'd love to see you play.

Well, maybe...
Oh, hey, Dad.

If you're gonna get me
something up in Montreal,

you wanna know
what I want?

- Sure, what do you want?
- A sabre.

A sabre?
Yeah, a real one.

Could you get me
one up there?

What do you plan
to do with it?

He needs it to finish his lobster.

No, you know,
hang up on my wall.

Dad, if you get
him a sabre,

get me a suit of armor

Jake, Bri...

We got some
good news to share.

Joanne and I are
getting married.


JOANNE: Next weekend.

Well, congratulations.

Remember, guys,
if you need me,

all you have to do
is pick up the phone.



You should have seen me trying
to get that wine out of the house.

I had to walk
right past my mother,

and I had the bottle
underneath my jacket.


This wine is older
than we are.

Oh, my God, maybe that's
really good wine!

Well, it tastes pretty good.

No, I mean maybe
it's really expensive.

Look, if you have to,
you can always blame it on Julie.

That's the good thing
about having an older sister.

Yeah, that's a brilliant idea.
Then, I would really get it.

Don't worry.
Why not?

'Cause you got other things
to worry about.

Oh, yeah, like what?

Like that bear
standing right behind you.

I didn't spit in it.

Hey, come here.

What happened
to your hand?

I had to punch Max.

(SCOFFS) You had to?

I was trying to play handball,
and he kept kicking

the soccer ball
into the court.

So you punched him?

I kicked his ball way behind
the handball court,

and when he went around
to get it,

I followed him,
then I punched him.

One of these days, you're
gonna get your ass kicked.

You realize that,
don't you?

Not by Max.

Oh, you must be one tough guy!
Tough enough.

Cocky enough.

Better watch out, badass.


Who is it?

I don't know.

Is it Russ?



I'm Sam.

Where's Mom?

Mom's, uh, sleeping.

Your mom's been
waiting to...

We wanted...
We wanted to...

Well, this is a kick.

This isn't the greatest way
to meet, is it?

I know one of you
is Jake, right?

I'm Jake.

I'm Adolph.

JAKE: He's Brian.

Hi, Brian.

Sleep okay? (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I gotta go to work.

Has your mother got...
coffee around here?


Your bus.

Hey, space cadet.

Jake, has your mother
got any coffee?

Oh. No.

Um, she stopped using it.

It kept her up, you know.

Why don't you
try the herb tea?

Won't make you as jumpy.



Hit it!
Hit one knee.

We got an epidemic
going around.


I gotta teach you bozos

the proper way to
dry yourselves after a shower.


First, dry your head.

Second, dry the crotch area.

You gotta be kidding me.
This is too weird.

This might be the most important
thing you learn in school, listen up.

Last, dry your feet and toes.

Head, crotch, feet.

Only in that order.
Got it?

Let me hear it.

ALL: Head, crotch, feet!


Hold it! Hold it!
Hold it, listen to me.

When I was a kid, got a
bad case of athlete's foot.

It got infected.

One night
I woke up screaming.

The infection had spread from
my leg into my groin area,

and that's how
I lost one of my testicles.


Put it in
the showers, guys!


There's this incredibly
powerful connection.

Chemistry, whatever
you want to call it.

I knew it the minute
I met him.

In a lot of ways,
we're very much alike.

You know, I mean, we're totally
comfortable together.

We're like kids.
We have fun!

It's as if I've known him
all my life, this guy.

No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You haven't know this guy
all your life,

you just met him.

So what's your rush?
I mean, three weeks ago,

you were a basket case cause
Alan said he was getting married.

WENDY: Well, yeah, that's right.
So why don't you be happy for me?

What is with you?

You know, Alan got his ice princess.
What am I supposed to do,

go into mourning
for a year?

Hey, I would hate to see
with someone on the rebound.

It's been two years
since Alan and I split up.

Let me be happy,
do you mind?

I'm tired of being alone.

I am not asking
you to be alone.

I'm just trying to suggest

that you please take a look
at what you're getting yourself into.

WENDY: So he does not have
a law degree, so what?

He's a very nice guy.
He's solid,

he's full of life,
and he needs me.

And right now,
that's very important to me.

I don't wanna talk about this anymore, Pat.

The, uh... The way
we met wasn't so hot.

(CHUCKLES) Was it?

So, how's school going?

WENDY: I'll be right down.

How's work going?


Depends on the day.

What kind of work
do you do?

Oh, I'm in, uh,
security systems.

Right now,
selling and installing.

I used to have
my own company,

but, uh, big guys moved in
and squeezed me out.

And to help things along, I had a
partner who was stealing from me.


But there was just no way I
could compete with the big companies,

so now I'm working
for them.

Isn't it crazy?

And all they care
about is sales.

Man, I mean,
whatever it takes,

without any kind
of regard for, I mean...

I mean,
forget about the customer.

They don't care about that.

And I, for one,
find it a little bit difficult

to deal on that
kind of level.

So, I'm putting together
my own new company.

Very, very personalized,
very quality-oriented.

And with no partner
this time.

And I'm gonna beat Tri-State
at its own game.


Better than okay.

Uh, listen,
at Jeffrey's tonight,

so there's all kinds of stuff
in the freezer,

but you could just yourself a pizza.

Don't worry.

Goodnight, honey.

Take it slow, Jake.

SAM: Bye.


Come on, maniac,
can we get out of here?



Come on, let's go.


Hell of a shot, Bri.

BRIAN: It was an accident.

I didn't mean to.

I just wanted to see...

What would happen?

Yeah, sort of.

Well, you don't have to
do it again, okay?


JAKE: Guess who's here.

WENDY: What do you think, Jake?
SAM: Whoa.

It is Jake's?

Here you go.
It is?


JAKE: Fantastic!
I don't believe it.

Sam talked me into it.

SAM: It's two years old, but
it's still in pretty good shape.

I picked it up from a friend
of mine I work with.

JAKE: It's great! He even
polished it for you.

Yeah, but Mom
paid for it.

JAKE: She did?

SAM: Hop on.

No, no, Brian,
get off. Get off!

Yeah, get off.

Come here. Come, Brian.

How's it feel?
Oh, incredible.

Okay, let me check you out
before you start.

You been on one of these
before, right?

Yeah. You got your
ignition here.

Foot crank. You give it a crank,
make sure it's in neutral.


Left-handed clutch.
Right-handed brake.

Okay, put it in gear,
let it out a little bit.

Easy, easy, easy.

WENDY: Be careful!
No sweat.

Now, take it easy, Jake.
Just real easy now,

get the feel of it.

Remember, just lean into it,
lean into it.

There you go.
There you go.




Maybe Sam's okay.

He's an asshole.

Not a total asshole.

Close enough.

Why, 'cause you didn't
get a dirt bike?

'Cause I didn't get shit!

Hey, watch it!

Wait, wait,
forget this, do you?

What would I do
without you?

SAM: Forget the charcoal,
that's what.


Okay, gentlemen,
gather 'round here,

because the key, I say,

the key to great barbecuing
is right here in this bag.

Right, you need charcoal.

What is he, a wise guy?

This is mesquite.

Ever heard of it, cooking with mesquite?

This stuff'll make your
tennis shoes taste good.

That great, huh?
Yeah, that great.

Here, take this off.

Okay, back off, Brian.

Okay, go ahead.

All right.

JAKE: Can I close it?
SAM: Yeah.

JAKE: Tell me when.

SAM: Good hands, Jake!

Wasn't expecting it.

Yeah, but you didn't back
away, that's good.

JAKE: Didn't have time.

You going out
for the team?

I'm on the team.

Well, that's too bad,
we could've practiced together.

I used to play minor league ball
myself once,

about 100 years ago.

Really, who for?

Phillies farm team,
in Nebraska.

BRIAN: What position?

Uh, second base,
anywhere they put me.


We did good, huh?
We sure did. Mmm.

You dudes should see
what we got for dessert.

BRIAN: Ketchup.

You got a smart, beautiful mother
who can whip up

an unbelievable
chocolate cream pie.

That was supposed
to be a surprise, huh?

You guys got it made.

I swear I love
this kind of grub.

Simple, but good.

One of these days...
I'm gonna open up

my own restaurant
just like this.

Tasty fish and meat
cooked right over mesquite.

What about your
security company?

Well, this is something your mother
and I could do together.

We cook
our own food, everything.

Main course

and outrageous desserts.

Can't miss.
You should do it.



Brian, you seen those
little off-road three-wheelers?


You don't even have to
ride one of those, do you?

WENDY: Sam, should I
put coffee on now?

I'll talk to your mother,
see what I can do.

Yeah, absolutely.

Maybe for Christmas.

You're right,
he's an asshole.

Maybe we should
give him a break.

At least until Christmas.

You said he was okay.

He's an asshole
he's okay, okay?

Maybe he is okay,
the asshole.

You really think that?

How do you know
he's an asshole?


I just know.

Will you calm down?

He tries too hard.

So, what is
wrong with that?

I don't know.

He says
and maybe he's okay.

You know you wouldn't like
anybody she brought home.


You should get one of those.

Oh, right, sure.

I wouldn't wear that
in my own bedroom.

Melanie wears them.

Melanie's a sleaze.

She's not that bad.

Okay, so she's
a nice sleaze.

Maybe you could just
wear it in your room.

or in your room?

Good idea.
Forget it.

Hey, what about these?


I hate their
dumb commercials.

Yeah, me, too.

Look, just get the kind you
always get. They look great on you.

Thank you.

I liked Russ.

Yeah, and look
what happened.

Maybe you shouldn't
make snap judgments.

Well, what about
trusting my instincts?

If she's happy,
what is your problem?

Trusting her instincts.

Oh, God, Jake, you sound
just like a parent.

- Jake! -That's the worst
thing you've ever said to me!

- Jake, what are you doing?
You take that back right now!

Or you're going home
just like that.

All right, let's go.

Let's go.

Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?

LISA: What?
You know I'm right.

Get in there.


All right, I forgot who
I was dealing with.

Yes, you definitely forgot.



What do you say, Jake?
Not much.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm trying
to burglar-proof this place.

I'm reinforcing this front door here;
putting in new locks.

Gonna alarm
all the windows,

then wire the whole thing up to
a first-rate security system.

- Is this stuff from your company?
- Uh-huh.

I want you guys
to feel safe.

With all the wackos
the streets today,

you can't afford
to be too careful.

The house
was robbed.


Well, I got stories
you don't wanna hear.

Goddamn true life

Maybe you should tell them
to your customers.


Hi, Mom.

Hello, Jacob.

Sam's turning this place
into a fortress.

Can't be too careful.

What you making?

A cake.

A cake?

Mom's making a cake.

Mom's making a cake?


Devil's food.
Another outrageous dessert.

What's it for?
It's for us.

Must be Sam's birthday.

Just make sure he gives us the
key to those locks. (CHUCKLES)

Sam's gonna be
staying here for a while.

He is?


For how long?

He had to move out
of his apartment.

Apartments aren't
that easy to find.

You mean
he's moving in?

I knew the cake
meant trouble.

(SIGHS) Look, you guys, I need
to have my own friends, don't I?

We'll be your friends.

Hey, Mom, what's going on?
Just tell us.

All right, okay.


This is what's happening.

It's been a while since Russ.

I met Sam, and I like him
a lot. I really do.

I like being around him,

so I want him to be
around here with us.

And I just want everyone to feel
comfortable about it.

Just like that?

We live here, too.
Don't we get any say?

Let me know
when it's time for dinner.

Brian, wait a second.




Jake, why won't you try?

It's too quick.

No, it isn't.

Sometimes it doesn't
take long to know.

Your dad's getting on with his
life; why can't I?

It's major.
Russ didn't even move in!

It's too important.

You'll have to trust me
on this, Jake.


Oh, I'm just
gonna have to.


Honey, it's change.
Things change.

Sometimes it's hard to accept.

But you have to try.
Please try.

(SCOFFS) Oh, you mean
go with the flow.

Jake, give it a chance.

What if I don't like
where it's going?

Well, you don't
always have a choice.

Things aren't always
about you, honey.


Jake. Please, for me.



COACH: Set it up.
Set the offense up.

Set it up.

Keep it moving.
Play it through!


Try and keep that stick
on the outside!

My fault! Play it out!


Cut it out, Livingston!

Save it for a game!
You all right?

Let's set it up!
You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine,
but watch it.


What's wrong?
I got another one.


Great. Nice going, Bri.

I didn't start
this one, I swear.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Oh, come on, just...

All right,
let me have it.

Oh, it looks perfect.

One more of these, and she's gonna
have to go in and meet with 'em.

We'll both be in deep shit.

But this one
wasn't my fault.

Why are you getting
in so many fights?

'Cause I always win.

It's like being the fastest gun.
Then lose once.


Anybody got a chainsaw?

Takes a lot of nerve to call
this toilet a restaurant,

know what I mean?

There's nothing wrong with mine.
Mine's good.

And look at this, babe,
they're just packing 'em in.

Yep, you know why?

'Cause there's nothing else
around. That's why.

The sad thing is, people are
just waiting to be turned on.

I'm telling you,
we should do it.

We should really
do it, Wendy.

I mean it.
If you're really serious.

What, open a restaurant?

I'm dead serious.

Well, doesn't it take a lot of
money to open a restaurant?

No. Not if you open up
a sushi bar.

All you need is
some raw fish and a knife.

Let's do it. How...
How do we do it?

How do we get a loan?

That's tricky,
for a restaurant,

but there's other ways we can
put it together. I know we can.

Like what?

Well, we could
turn over some real estate.

Hell, I know some property
we could turn over.

It's only a little house
but it's on this beautiful

piece of land.
When did you see it?

It just went on the market
last week, it's perfect.

We'd fix it up.

I could do most
of the work myself.

I bet we could get in
for $10,000 down,

we'd turn it over
in five or six months.

We'd probably
triple our money.

And that's all
we have to do?

Bang! That's the down payment
on the restaurant.

WENDY: It sounds like
we could really do it.

We could.
What if you can't sell the place?

Oh, I could sell it, Jake,
that's no problem.

They've been trying to sell the
house next door to us for over a year.

Well, not that house.

That just means
the market's soft, Jake,

and now's the time to get in.
Make sense?

What if it stays soft?

Jake, why are you so negative?
What's with you, Jake?

Why is everything such a
bummer with you, huh?

WENDY: Well, all kids
are cynical today, you know.

It's hip.
JAKE: No, it's not.

SAM: Oh, it's not?

You tell us
what's hip, Jake.

Nothing's hip.

Oh, nothing's hip? You mean,
nothing matters anymore?

I didn't say that.
Well, what'd you say then?

You mean, nothingness is hip?
What'd you say?


"Hip" isn't hip anymore.


WENDY: Now, Brian,
you have a spelling test.

I want you to study
for that right now.

BRIAN: Right now?
Right now.


Get off my back.

I had this really bugged out dream
about Rader's class...

Not again!
...last night.

Wait a minute,
where you're in class,

naked and totally unprepared?

No, this is the one where
everyone else was naked,

and I was the only one
who did the assignment.

Oh, you're very sick,
you know that.

Even sicker than I seem.

Where are the cookies?
Hey, Jake, can I get a Coke?

LEE: I must have
the cookies.

Hey, Jake, how 'bout
a Heineken, huh?

Hey, guys.

Yo, let's get
outta here now, all right.

LEE: Why? Now?


LEE: Where we gonna go?

JAKE: We're going to
your house, okay?

All we got is Melba Toast.

All right, all right,
all right.

JAKE: Okay, let's go
Come on!




"And Rocky proves that
if you work hard,

"and believe in yourself,
and have the guts..."



Boring alert!


The assignment was major contributors
to the 20th Century."

Rocky's not even
a real person.

Yeah, I know, but...
You know,

I have been trying to figure
out what your problem is.

You believe in
the tooth fairy, too?

And did you forget
about Spider-Man?

can beat up Rocky.

Superman can lick 'em all.

Sit down. Sit down.


Did I hear
what I think I heard?

Someone have something
to say to me?



Stay in your seats.

If you've got something to say,
stand up and say it.

Don't be a coward.

I didn't say anything.



Your work isn't
good enough anymore

that you can afford to get
on my bad side.


Watch it.




Aw, nuts.

You wanna play
my records, ask.

I didn't think you'd mind,
they were lying out on your desk.

Where's my mom?

She went to pick up Brian.

You like the oldies, huh?
That's my time.

Your mother
give 'em to you?

My dad gave them to me,
and they're mine.

Yeah, I know
they're yours, Jake.

The pinball machine's
mine, Jake,

but you can play it
anytime you want.

Thanks, anyway.

SAM: What's the matter?
Lisa giving you a hard time?

- WENDY: Wait! -Brian, you look like you
been shot at and missed.

WENDY: Wait!
Hey babe, what's wrong?

WENDY: Oh, I said I was sorry,
what else do you want me to do?

SAM: Wendy?
You were two hours late!

Next time I'm not waiting!
What's going on?

Open this door!

Hey, there's a limit!

WENDY: Come on, Bri, take me
off your shit list, honey.

I don't need
this shit.

BRIAN: You aren't
on my shit list.

Today you made the hall of fame.

Right, there's a limit.

What you mean by that?

Your brother.

BRIAN: "Went to Lake George."

Is that her writing?

Must have been in a hurry.

She didn't even leave a
number or anything.

Lake George.

Around three gulps.


Drink it, go ahead.


No, you drink it,
it tastes like rat piss.






Do you think they'll be
back in the morning?

Maybe I'll sleep at Jeffrey's.

No, not tonight.

His mom said I could
sleep over any time.

Well, some other time.


Because I asked you.

Aw, are you gonna be lonely?


If you're gonna be lonely,
I'll stay home.

I'm not gonna be lonely!

Enough cookies.

I'll stay home anyway.

His mom makes anything
you want for breakfast.




Hey, do you wanna
come for dinner?

Yeah, I've already checked,

just come over
after practice.

I can't.
Oh, why not?

I... I gotta go home.

I gotta be there
I'm sorry.

All right.


I'm waiting for Sam.

How... How did
Where's my mom?

Oh, she's out.

Sam went to get
some beers.

You're here alone?

Not since you got here.

What, are you a friend of
Sam's or something?

Are you?

How'd you get in?

Wrong house.

I thought I lived here.

Have fun in Lake George?

Yeah, it was
kind of spontaneous.

Yeah, kind of.

Don't you even
say hello?

Hey, come back here,
your hands are filthy.

Hey, Brian,
I'm talking to you!

Do you hear me?
Come back here!


WENDY: Brian, open the door.

I said open this door,
right now!

Come on.

I met a friend
of yours today.

Oh, yeah?

Interesting guy.

What do you mean?

Interesting guy.

What do you mean,


Yeah, you said that. Now you
wanna tell me what he said?


He asked me
something, though.


If I was your friend.


He did?

Yeah, he did.

What did you say?


Why don't you just
spit it out, Jake?

You wanna tell me
what that means?

Do I have to?

Hey, shove it!
No, you shove it!

Come back here,
you little shithead!

Hey, don't talk
to Jake like that.

Now, wait a minute, you hear
what that bug said to me?

I don't care who he is!
Who are you?

Listen to that!
Why do you get out of here?

Oh, both of you...
I'm telling you now,

I'm not taking that kind of bullshit from you!
Hey, stop it,

both of you!
And you let him act like a shithead!

Well, you don't have
to act like one, too.

Hey, hey, he acts
like a shithead,

and you jump
all over my ass?

Christ, why don't you...

Why don't you go deal
with your goddamn son,

and get the hell off
of my back?

SAM: Hey, you're not
listening to me.

I'm telling you, I'm at the
end of my rope here.

WENDY: These are kids!
They're kids!

You're not used to them,
you don't know.

SAM: Oh, I know, I know.
I'm not gonna takung any more crap around here.

I know that because
I got enough shit!

I'm knee-deep in it.
WENDY: Well, don't blame me!

It is not my fault!

SAM: Oh, what,
it's not your fault?

Do you think it's my fault?
You think I screwed up?

I didn't say that!

SAM: Oh, yeah, you did,
you think I blew it.

Come on.
WENDY: No, I don't...

SAM: Listen, I don't give
a shit what you think!

You ungrateful bitch!

WENDY: Hey! Don't you dare.
You lousy, ungrateful bitch!

WENDY: Stop it!

Stop it!




Hi, Jake.

How you feeling?
You all right?

I'm fine.

You sure you're okay?

Yes, yes, I'm okay!

Are you just gonna
take that from him?

How can you just take that from him?
Now, look...

What is going on?

He lost his temper, that's all.
He feels terrible.

He feels terrible?

Yes! Sam has feelings,
just like anybody else.

And he shows them.

Believe me, no one feels worse
than he does.

What about you?


What about me?

Look, we lost that property
the other day.

It fell through. Things just
haven't been easy.

He's really trying,
he is trying,

which is more than
I can say for you.

See, we're trying to do this
restaurant thing together.

I know it's something
it's something I can do.

It's for all of us.

I want this just as much as he does.
I don't believe any of it.

Well, you better
believe it, Jake.


Look, let yourself
get to know him.

I know him.

He's a deadbeat,
he's a loser,

and he's a bullshitter.

No, he isn't.

Mom, why can't you see it?
You blind?

Hey, excuse me,
I am your mother.

You don't talk
to me that way.

Then act like it.





I yelled at you,

and, uh,
I don't like yelling.

A lot of things are happening
for me right now.

Some big changes.

A few setbacks.

I'm feeling a lot of
pressure, Jake.

Sometimes I blow it.
I'm human, you know?

I never raised
a family before.

It takes some practice.

You don't know
about pressure yet.

You don't know about a lot of things,
but whether you believe it or not,

your mother and I are gonna
have that restaurant!

And it's gonna be a winner,
because I'm gonna make it happen!

Because I really
love your mother.

What do you think
I'm doing around here?

You think I'm just sitting
around here, huh?

I'm trying to do something
good for all of us, Jake.

I'm no loser,

and I'm no bullshitter,

Next time you wanna
come in my room,


Next time you pass
judgment on me,

don't go whine to
chicken-shit wimp.

Have the balls to come
and say it to my face.







It's life.





Baby, baby, wake up.

She's... She's okay.

Fell asleep.

Is she drunk?

Come on.


Hey, listen, um, there's a party
at Betsy's on Saturday.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah! We're invited.

So, are we gonna go?

I don't know.


When do you think
you'll know?

I don't know!

Maybe I don't wanna go.

Well, great, am I supposed
to go by myself?


You asshole!


It was an accident.

Hey, come on, Jake.
It was an accident, Jake.

It was an accident.

You're an accident.

Will you stop it?

Jesus! What's the matter
with you?

Jake, will you stop?

What are you doing?

What is wrong with you?


WENDY: Great! Great!
Wonderful! Wonderful!

I can't do this.


Goddamn, where's my nail file?

The school called;
Brian beat up some kid.

Oh, no.

I gotta go
meet the principal.

They won't let him
until I go down there!


I gotta go meet
the goddamn principal.


I don't need
this shit today.

I know Mrs. Mercer.

Come in.


I asked to see
your mother.

I've got to see her.

She can't, she got sick.

She's not coming?

Would you let him come home
with me, Mrs. Mercer?

Someone could've been
badly hurt this afternoon.

I know.


If this fighting continues, Brian's
going to have to stay at home.

I don't know
what else we can do.

Could you give him
another chance?

Why is your brother
so quick to punch?


Our mom's sick.

Seriously ill?

I don't know.

We don't know
what's gonna happen.

It's... It's been
very different for us.

He won't do it again,
I promise.

How can we be sure?

Because I promise.

Boy, are you lucky.

What happens
if she's sick?

I don't care.

Everything I said
was true.

Put that on.

Think we could
live with Dad?

Don't get your hopes up.

Come on.

You ready?
Yeah, go on. Ready.


SAM: Brian!

Your mother's crying right now
because you're screwing up.

You're tearing her apart.
You satisfied with that, huh?

Come back here,
I'm talking to you!

Eat shit, dick-face,
you're not my father, okay?

Come back here,
you little prick!

You don't know...
Hey, leave him alone!


Don't ever touch me
or my brother again.






Is he coming back?

(SIGHS) Yes,
he's coming back.

He just went away
on business.


You know, Jake, you and your brother
don't understand anything.



Hi, it's Alan.
Oh, hi.

How are you?

I'm fine, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Can I talk to Jake?

Yeah, he's here,
just a second.



It's your father.

Hi, Jake.

How's it going?

Where you calling from?



Got a new client here.

Is Brian around?

Uh, he's not here.

I got a message
he called the office.

Is everything all right?

How long
you gonna be there?

For the rest of the month.

Do you know what he wanted?

Probably just to say hi.

Things okay with your mom?


Maybe we'll all come
to London this summer.

Sound good?

Sounds good, Dad.

Listen, I gotta go.

You take care, okay?

Tell Brian I called.

Okay, I will.




See you tomorrow, Bri.

You gotta take it home?

Tastes like the box
when you take it home.

No, no,
it's better here.

BRIAN: Look, we could
go to Alaska.

Are you crazy?
We'd freeze our asses.


I don't care where we go.
Let's just go.

Just leave Mom?


She still cares about us.


No, she doesn't.

How do you know?

Because I know how I feel.

I'm sleeping
at Jeffrey's tonight.

I made dinner.

I made dinner for us.

But then you didn't
come home.

Brian called
from Jeffrey's.

I didn't know.

I made linguini.

It's all stuck together.

And chocolate chip cookies
with macadamia nuts.

Your favorites.

You want one?

Come here, they turned out good.
They really did.


You're a coke-head,
aren't you?


Look at you.


Look at the house.

I can't be
everybody's maid.

Look at your family.

Brian. Look at what's
happening to us.

Don't you care?

Well, I can't be everything for
everybody, can I, honey?


I can't do everything
for everybody.

Is Sam your family?

Don't put this off on him.

Everything was fine
before he showed up.

You might've been fine,

but I wasn't fine.

You're not fine.

That's not you, Mom.

You gotta do something,
for us.


What do you want
me to do?

Get him out.



I can't.


I can't do that.



You are late!

Your research papers
are finally graded.


No excuse for the delay.

I put it off
as long as I could.

Then I kept falling asleep.


What's this
supposed to mean?

MR. RADER: We can
discuss it after class.

JAKE: I didn't
plagiarize anything!

Whatever you call it, you copied
key passages out of a reference book.

I quoted!
I quoted what I used!

You stole a lot more
than you quoted.

I did not!
After class.

You're wrong!

Jake, I've got
the same book.

If I'm wrong, we will
discuss it after class.

Now sit down.
Let's get started.

It's in the library,
I'm gonna go get it.

MR. RADER: Not now.
I can prove it.

- Just sit down.
- Why can't I get the book?


MR. RADER: Either sit down,
or go to the VP's office.

JAKE: You don't want
the class to know.

- Did you hear what I said?
- You wanna be the only one with the answers.

You want us to think
you're the coolest, hippest...

Go to the
Vice Principal's office.

If you're that great, then why are you
trying so hard to impress us?

Get out.

You keep telling us
about the real world.

You get out of my class!

In the real world,
you'd be a grown man

competing with a bunch
of 10th-graders!

You're a lightweight.

Lisa, stay in your seat!





Where's the Peking duck?

On the outside.

Peeking in.

Hey, did you hear they're
opening a restaurant on the moon?

Uh-huh. Great food
but no atmosphere.


SAM: All right. All right.


Listen, listen, guys...

I wanna say something
that's very important to me.

Listen, I realize that
me moving in here

and me living
with you guys has been

a pretty rough adjustment
on all of us.

But we're gonna bury this
thing right now.

I mean it.

We got a lot of great times
coming to us.

All our plans are coming
together just like we wanted.

Today is day one.

Sounds good to me.

SAM: What do you say?

Sounds good.

It does?

Come on, Brian.

JAKE: Yeah, Bri.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

You guys wanna
split a beer?

Okay, good idea.

Oh, I'll get it.

No, no, I'll get it,
I'll get it.

You expecting someone?
Yeah, yeah.

Well, hurry up
before it gets cold.

I'll only... it'll only
take a few seconds.

Someone from Peking.

You're early.
I gotta head back to New York.

Okay. Uh, yeah,
go up the stairs.


WENDY: I know I ordered
Peking duck.


He can be
so funny sometimes.

Who is it?



You know, he means it.

He really wants things
to be good for all of us.

If we could all just
give him a chance.

Do we have to laugh
at his jokes?

SAM: Wendy!

Wendy, could you please
come up here?

You're not serious?


Who's that?

MAN: Goddamn amateur.

He never had it.


SAM: Where the hell is it?
What did you do with it?

WENDY: What?

SAM: Oh, don't give me that shit.
Now, where is it?

WENDY: I don't know!

I don't know what
you're talking about.

SAM: Oh, God damn it, what do
you think I'm talking about?

What do you think I was
doing with the money?

Now, come on,
you're not that dumb!


SAM: Jesus Christ!
Where is it?

WENDY: Hey, what're you doing?
- What'd he lose? His dick?

Go. Out of the house.

SAM: Oh, man. Oh, man!

Just do it, now!

BRIAN: Why, what's going on?

- JAKE: Just go!
- ...somewhere in this house!

WENDY: Why did you do this?

SAM: It's got to be here.

Christ! What the hell

WENDY: Hey, wait don't!
SAM: I'm gonna find it!

Where is it?
What happened to it?

Go away!

SAM: I don't give a shit!

It's here somewhere,
and I'm gonna find the stuff!

Goddamn it,
happened to it?

Where is it?


Do you know what
I'm looking for?


You do?
Don't shit me.

I know where it is, too.

What am I looking for?

It's not here.

And if you don't get out
of our house,

I'm gonna tell the police
where it is.

The police?

You're gonna call the police
you little shit for brains?

What about your mother? You're
gonna call the police on your mother?

WENDY: No, Sam!
You wanna get your mother busted?

Please, don't hurt him!
It's her money, asshole!

That's conspiracy, pal!

So, call the police!

Go ahead, call them!

'Cause if I go down,
she's going down, too!

Now, don't shit me!

Oh, God.

Tell him where it is.

Oh, Jake. (SIGHS)

Just tell him
where it is, honey.


I'll kick it out of you.

No! No! No!

Stay away... (YELLS)
Get out of my way!

WENDY: Leave him alone, Sam!
Where are you going?


Come on!
Come on! Come on!




Son of a bitch!
Move it!





MAN: Jesus. Are you okay?

JAKE: Yeah, yeah.

Are you sure
My bike.

My bike. My bike.
Don't worry about your bike.

I'm okay. I'm okay.
Just help get my bike up.

You're bleeding.

Hey, wait a minute!
Come back!



What are you doing?

Get outta there!







Get out!

I'll break your head off!
I'll break your head off!

Open the door!

There's you mother.

You want me to
hurt your mother?

I will, I swear
I'll hurt her. I, I...

As much as I love her,
I'll hurt her!

I'll do it,
You want me to do that?

No. Ow!
Huh? Huh?

Okay, what?

I'll show you where it is.
You're gonna show me where it is?

You are? You promise?
WENDY: Open the door!

Okay, get up.


What's happening?

Jake, you're bleeding.
Everything's all right.

Everything's just
under control. Right?

Yeah, Mom,
Where are you going?

We're going away,
we'll be right back.

I'm going with you!
No, you're not!

Where are you
going with my son!

Will you just let us
finish this thing?

Mom, just stay here!

It's gonna be all right.

You just stay, okay?

Just stay here.

SAM: You better pray to God
that stuff didn't get wet.

Well, where is it, stud?

I'm waiting.

It's here.

You better not be
pulling my chain, pal.

If this is more
of your bullshit...

Oh, come on!

Okay, get up, get up!

Get out of there.

Okay, that's cool.

That's good. Good.

All right.

That's good. All right.

Everything's cool.

Come on,
let's go home. Go.

SAM: The only thing
we're trying to do here,

is we're trying
to be a family.

To help each other get
exactly what we need,

and to go exactly
wherever we wanna go.


What do you think, huh?
All about to me.

Being strong enough
to handle whatever happens.

No pain, no gain.

No pain, no gain.

One quick phone call,
to drop this stuff.

Come on, let's go tell your mother
we got our restaurant.


What's going on?

(SIGHS) Get out!

What? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute...
No, I just want you to leave.

Wendy, what are you
doing now?

We got it, babe.
We... We finally got it,

it's out in the car.
I don't want any part of that.

I don't want you
around us anymore!

I don't want you
around my sons!

Come on, baby,
you're just tired.

I am, too. Listen,
we should go to bed.

Would... Would you leave us
alone for a minute?

Sam, it's over.

No, no, no.
No, don't say that.

Get out!


I'm not going anywhere.

I'm staying right here
in this house.

And that's the end of it,
you understand me?

No, they don't
understand you.

I'm telling you, get out!

Oh, you're telling me?


Now I'm telling you!

I'm telling you,
I've had enough.

You understand?
I'm not going anywhere.

Get your hands off me!


No! Sam, get off of him!











Get out.

You come back again
and I'll kill you.

Get out.