Fever Pitch (1997) - full transcript
A romantic comedy about a man, a woman and a football team. Based on Nick Hornby's best selling autobiographical novel, Fever Pitch. English teacher Paul Ashworth believes his long standing obsession with Arsenal serves him well. But then he meets Sarah. Their relationship develops in tandem with Arsenal's roller coaster fortunes in the football league, both leading to a nail biting climax.
How's your chicken?
Good.
How's your fish?
Good.
How's school?
OK.
Paul?
OK.
Good.
How's your ice-cream?
Good.
Let's do something different
next time I'm over.
Like what?
Um... go swimming?
Go and see a film?
I'll think of something.
I'm Ms Hughes.
It's not Miss, it's not Mrs.
Ms, OK?
Practise? Say it after me.
Ms Hughes.
Come on.
Ms Hughes.
Fine.
Don't forget.
Right, I'm gonna start off today
by telling you
a few things I like
and a few things I DON'T like.
Yeah, all right. All right.
All right,
that's enough football.
Now, "Of Mice and Men".
How many of you managed to, uh,
get all the way through it?
Steven, you've got
your hand in the air.
You've not read it?
Yes, sir.
What happens in the end?
He shoots him, sir.
Who shoots who?
The little bloke
shoots the big bloke.
He's right, sir.
I'm leaving because
there's no point carrying on.
If I've got Steven Downing
to read a book,
there's no challenges left.
My career can only go downhill.
Better be about
the book, Robert.
No, sir. It's about Alan Smith.
Yeah, well, later.
What about him?
Mr Ashworth, have you
got a moment?
Sorry, but the noise from here
makes it impossible to
concentrate next door.
You'll get used to it.
I don't want to get used to it.
I want to do some work,
not listen to moronic
football chanting.
QUIET!
Out! Out!
Hold your hands up
in the air!
Offside! Linesman!
YOU'RE the linesman!
My God!
Right, clap.
Show he's done the right thing.
We don't have linesmen, sir.
Applaud the referee, then.
Jesus, doesn't matter.
That'll do for today.
Right. See you tomorrow, Sarah.
All right.
I was the naive,
stupid new teacher,
you were the cynical old hand?
What?
The snorting when
I asked a question.
I was reading
the football reports.
I never listen
at staff meetings.
This has got to be a pose,
this football stuff.
You pretend to be a yob
for a bit of street cred?
Is this 'cause my kids
were enjoying their lesson?
Well, all kids enjoy a riot.
Actually teaching them
something is a lot harder!
I've seen this film.
You end up shagging
on the carpet.
If we end up shagging
on the carpet,
I will buy you a new carpet.
Yeah, right.
But I tell you...
I knew it!
No. No carpets.
He is an English teacher.
Oh, God, not all this again.
I mean, what about
Patrick Swayze?
No-one cares whether
he read Byron or not.
And you know, he is
the full Axminster.
I'd want a brain as well.
Eventually.
I'm gonna measure up.
I'm off to Habitat first thing.
If we end up shagging,
you can carpet the whole house.
The walls, the ceiling,
the garden...
Well, what's she like?
One of those women -
if you like football,
you must be a yob.
Bollocks.
Is she fit?
Not that you'd prove
her point or anything.
What?
What have I done?
It's a perfectly reasonable,
straightforward question.
She's not unattractive,
but so what?
A) She hates me,
B) I hate her,
and C) what's the point
of all that?
Waste of fucking time.
Ooh, sounds promising, then.
It must be terrible
being that miserable.
Pretending you only care
about football results
because the world's
a terrible place
and what's the point of it all?
What IS the point?
Maybe it IS football results.
Don't worry. He's a sad,
lonely bastard.
Who cares what
made him that way?
Where's your brother?
Eh?
He's over there.
Oi, number nine!
You're a donkey!
Didn't he have a trial
with someone once?
Yeah. Orient.
They offered him
a contract, as well.
What happened?
Turned it down.
Stupid sod.
Said it was too risky.
What's he doing now?
Er, runs his own business.
Computer something.
He's on about
fifty grand a year.
I'd swap fifty grand a year
- for a contract with Orient.
- So would I.
- Don't even like Orient.
- Neither do I.
He gets it both ways.
Gets fifty grand a year,
gets to play at a place
with floodlights.
Floodlights and a tea bar.
I'd love to play at a place
with a tea bar.
Yeah, well...
Bit late now, eh?
Dunno.
Stanley Matthews played
First Division football
till he was fifty.
Bet you any money you like
YOU'RE not playing
First Division football
- when you're fifty.
- It's the smoking.
It's not the smoking, Steve,
it's the crapness.
Pass the ball!
Penalty!
Yes!
Hold that.
I've always wanted to do this.
Anthropologists have always
had a hard time with football.
The trouble is,
you can only see
what's on the outside.
But there IS an inside,
believe it or not.
We all have our reasons
for loving things the way we do.
Hey!
He's here!
Thanks for being so helpful.
Ready?
He's been ready for hours.
No, I haven't.
Yes, you have.
What time will you be back?
Er, six. Six thirty.
Fine.
See you later, then.
OK?
Have a nice time.
See you later, sunshine.
We'll do something
special next time, huh?
You looking forward to it?
What?
The match.
Yeah.
Sounds like it.
I'm not really a football fan.
No.
One day we'll find something
you DO wanna do.
Your mum seems in good form.
Yeah.
She OK?
Not really.
The last home game, last season?
What about it?
They were fucking rubbish.
Fucking rubbish last year
and the year before.
They'll be fucking
rubbish this year, too.
And next year.
And the year after that.
I don't know
why you come, Frank.
You live in hope.
What d'you reckon?
Think they're bad as Frank says?
This is his first time.
Hope he knows what he's
lettin' himself in for.
Have a look at the number eight.
Jon Sammels.
Remember his face
and if you happen
to bump into him,
tell him to sod off to Spurs!
Programmes!
Programmes!
Go on, give it a shove.
Someone hasn't been
eating their greens.
Wey-hey!
We're in "Y", OK?
Yeah.
What d'you reckon?
When's the next game?
Week after next, probably.
Let's have a look.
Yeah, Sunderland.
They're away at Leeds next week.
Can we come to the
Sunderland game, Dad?
You might wanna go
somewhere different.
If you're gonna be
a football fan,
think carefully about
who you're gonna follow.
Look.
For fuck's sake, Arsenal!
Get it!
Sammels, you're a fucking idiot!
Sort yourself out!
That was a brilliant goal,
wasn't it, Dad?
It was pretty good, yeah.
What happened?
It was a penalty,
the goalie saved it
then the man
who missed the penalty
had another go and scored.
- Terry Neill?
- That's right.
- He's good, isn't he?
- Fantastic.
I'm off, then.
See you next week.
Let's go.
Come on.
Why do we have to leave?
Beat the traffic.
Long walk back to the car,
we'll be stuck for hours.
But they might score again.
There's a remote possibility.
But it won't be this afternoon.
Joke. If you're an Arsenal fan,
you get used to jokes like that.
I will.
Who d'you think played best?
Dunno. But Sammels was rubbish.
I don't think so.
Crowd didn't understand
what he was trying to do.
They were on to him
before he'd done anything wrong.
- I disagree.
- Oh, you do?
One afternoon at football,
you're Kenneth Wolstenholme.
Who did YOU think
played the best?
Might make an Arsenal defence
of them yet, Robert.
Yes, sir.
Em, sir, you going
to Highbury next week?
- Nah.
- Oh.
'Course I'm going.
Want me to get you
a programme?
It's cash in advance.
I've been caught too many times.
No, it's not that.
Em...
could I come with you?
That'd be a bit difficult.
To be honest,
between you and me,
- I go to the pub first.
- I could wait outside.
I stand on the North Bank.
You wouldn't see.
- I'd go down the front.
- Your mum'd love that.
She says I have to go
with a responsible adult.
Saturday's the one
day of the week
when I'm NOT
a responsible adult.
I turn into someone your age.
Not as sensible.
She won't have to find out.
I'm sorry, Robert, I can't.
Well, not this week.
Maybe some other time, eh?
Next season when
you've grown a bit?
Get you a programme.
Cash in advance unnecessary,
on this occasion.
To hell with it,
you can have one for free.
Thanks, sir.
Bollocks!
BOLLOCKS!
Nothing to worry about.
His handwriting's a disgrace
to the human race
but he's very bright
and enjoys the lessons.
He does. He's always
goin' on about you.
It's my enthusiasm for
Steinbeck's prose style.
Either that or something else.
The football, you mean?
Robert thinks they might
win the championship
for the first time since 1970.
1971.
Gotta get things
like that right.
Absolutely.
Did he tell you what happened
after football training?
He asked me if I'd take him
to the Arsenal.
Mr Ashworth, I'm so sorry.
He just seemed uptight about it.
His dad and me are
recently separated.
It was his dad
he used to go with.
- You don't wanna take him?
- Don't know anything about it.
I very much doubt if he'd care.
I can tell you everything
you need to know
in about five minutes.
She seemed to enjoy
the Elizabethans
but when we moved on,
she slipped back.
She dropped four places.
Was it four? No, six.
Which I found
a little disappointing
though I'm not sure
that she did.
No. She's got her heart set
on a hairdresser's
apprenticeship.
Right.
Thanks very much, then.
You come out the tube station,
cross over the street
and in that entrance there,
you buy unreserved seats, £7.
My ex can pay.
- He's a Spurs fan, isn't he?
- Yeah.
I'd go for £12 seats.
Sting the bastard
for all you can get.
Thank you so much.
You've been really helpful.
Hello, Mr Johnson.
How are you?
Evening. Suppose you're feeling
pretty pleased with life.
Oh, fuck it!
Would you like a lift?
You don't know where I live.
Yes, I do. Crouch End.
It's on my way home.
'Don't forget, I'll be back
'with all the top
sports stories...
'But first of all... '
How about you?
Arsenal.
Inside the stadium
or just nearby?
'Number one,
'Abigail's Party,
You really are Mr Popular,
aren't you?
All those queues at your desk.
'.. Live commentary
'on three races
from that meeting. '
Sorry.
'And the main one at 3.45.
'Now the main sports stories. '
What were you talking to
Robert Parker's mother about?
'.. Suspended Arsenal's
Paul Davis... '
Shit! Fuck! Bollocks!
I'm sorry?
Paul Davis.
Who's Paul Davis?
Arsenal.
Were we talking about him?
'.. Signed a four-year
contract... '
Sorry. I wasn't listening.
'.. Olympic headlines
from Seoul,
'Linford Christie's
given the all-clear... '
- Arsenal.
- Yes, you said.
No, I was talking
to Robert Parker's mother
about Arsenal.
God!
I'm in the wrong job.
Well, I'm in the wrong life.
I spent hours preparing
for a parents' evening.
No one could think
of two words to say to me.
Yet they queue for hours
to hear your pearls of wisdom
on next week's game
against Wolves United!
Yeah...
Just Wolves. No United.
Look, I'm sorry.
It must seem unfair.
Yes, it does, actually.
It's the next left.
Maybe you're too
uptight with them.
Maybe you should just...
be yourself more.
All those files and folders
and what have you.
That IS me being myself.
It's just here.
D'you want a cup of coffee?
OK.
You don't have to.
No, no, no. I'd...
Yeah, I'd like to.
What are these for, then?
They're not for anything.
They just look nice.
Are they yours?
No.
Jo's. My flat-mate.
It's her place.
She's away at the moment.
Can I smoke?
No.
You can stay the night, though,
if you want.
Not on the carpet.
I can't afford it.
You might have
the decency to run.
Then we wouldn't
be doing it together.
Cocky cow.
It's just a fact. Look.
OK! OK!
I HATE you!
I owe you a new carpet.
Well, maybe a new spare bed.
You shagged
the football hooligan!
I knew it! I knew it!
He's not a football hooligan.
So he HAS read Byron?
He's bound to have done!
It doesn't really matter
if he hasn't.
Who'd have thought it, eh?
"Iron Knickers" Hughes
ending up with a yob.
He's not a yob
and I'm not ending up with him.
You wanna bet?
Where are you off to?
I'm starving.
I was thinking of ringing
for a pizza.
Have you read Byron?
What?
Have you read
any of Byron's poems?
Yeah.
"The Assyrian came down
like a wolf on the fold
"and his somethings
were gleaming
"in black and old gold. " Crap.
What are those?
My... Arsenal boxer shorts.
They're not my best ones.
I was running out.
But you're willing to show them
to another human being.
I wasn't exactly
showing them to you.
What d'you wanna know
about Byron for?
Um... a bet.
Did you win?
I don't think so.
Stay in line!
Right, now push up!
Out! Out!
That's it! Good lads.
Offside, referee!
Offside!
Ref!
Oi, ref, he was miles off.
It's not M Y fault.
Too good a coach for this level.
What's the score?
One-all.
If you count that POXY GOAL
they just scored.
What's this, Cup or League?
Cup, quarter-final.
- How long left?
- Fifteen.
I wanted to talk to you
about a vacancy.
Rosie Hunter's
handed in her notice.
I wondered whether you'd be
interested in applying.
Head of Year?
Um... well...
Obviously not the most
attractive offer
you've ever had.
Come on, Ben! Get back with him!
Sorry, Ted.
I haven't fired you
with enthusiasm.
It's a lot of work.
What do I wanna
do more work for?
More money?
I've got enough to pay my rent,
enough for my season ticket
and a couple of records a month.
Got no family.
I'd like you to think about it.
Sorry. There's nothing
to think about.
Come on, Sam! Put it away!
YES!
Why aren't adults
supposed to go mad
about anything?
You've got to keep a lid on it.
And if you don't,
then people
are apparently entitled
to say what they like.
You haven't grown up,
you're a moron.
Your conversation
is trivial and boorish.
You can't express
your emotional needs.
You can't relate
to your children
and you die -
lonely and miserable.
But you know, what the hell?
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Not on your own.
How many more times?
You'll have to wait
until your father's over.
So I'll get to Highbury
five times a year?
It's not my fault
your father lives abroad.
Mum, they play 21 times a year
plus Cup matches. That's...
Mum, why is Crossroads a motel?
What d'you mean?
Why isn't it just a hotel?
29! If they get to
the League Cup semi-final,
the FA Cup quarter-final...
You can take your car there.
You forgot Europe.
I don't know how many
games last season.
Oh, yeah.
That's another five games.
That hotel in Devon,
we took our car.
Every round is home and away.
We had to leave it
in the car park.
Fives into thirty-five
goes seven.
One-seventh of all
the home games. Pathetic!
Paul, in a motel,
you drive a car into a room!
Say you only went to one-seventh
your Choral Society
They'd throw you out.
Arsenal won't throw you out.
They want your money.
I've looked it up.
I can catch the 12.53
to Paddington,
be at Paddington by 1.36,
get the Circle and District
and Metropolitan Line
to Kings Cross.
Then it's Caledonian Road,
Holloway Road,
Arsenal, third stop.
Be there 2.15, easy.
For Christ's sake,
go if you want to.
Yes! Thanks, Mum.
Charlie, Charlie,
Charlie's the King of Highbury.
Don't come runnin' to me
if you get stabbed to death.
I won't.
Jimmy Husband! Brilliant.
It's not easy
to become a football fan.
It takes years.
But if you put in the hours,
you're welcomed,
without question,
into a new family.
Except in this family,
you care about the same people
and hope for the same things.
What's childish about that?
A terrible foul
by McLintock on Rocastle.
He'll be lucky
to stay on the pitch.
It wasn't THAT bad.
It was mistiming,
it wasn't malicious.
Bollocks!
So, that's a free kick
to 1989 Arsenal
and... Davis takes it.
And...
Goal!
And that's 1989 Arsenal four,
1971 Arsenal, nil.
Bob Wilson will be
bitterly disappointed
with that one.
This lot would never beat
the Double team
four-nil at Subbuteo.
It's just I'm crap at it!
Should've chosen someone else.
Who else played in yellow
and blue away strip?
- Everton?
- Be Everton, then.
OK. But this game's abandoned.
I can't start
suddenly pretending
that John Radford's Joe Royle.
It'd do my head in.
Have to start again.
Nil-nil.
All right. Go on, then.
Yes!
What are you thinking about?
- Oh... stuff.
- What stuff?
I was thinking about
DH Lawrence, actually.
Yeah?
What about him?
Well...
Well... about his books.
What about his books?
Just... which one's the longest.
And?
I- I couldn't remember.
Well, which one did
you think it might be?
That's just it.
I couldn't decide.
Between what and what?
Mm...
Well, "Lady
Chatterley's Lover"...
- And...?
- And, um...
I wasn't thinking
about DH Lawrence at all.
You amaze me.
I was thinking about Arsenal.
I'm staggered.
We might win
the League this year.
We're half-way through
the season and we're top
and they'll fuck it up but...
You're not impressed, are you?
I am. I hope
they win the League.
It's just that...
Why did you lie?
I've got to vary the answers.
I can't say Arsenal every time.
I can't find any... "Bread".
Do I look like the sort of man
who'd have a "Bread" album?
No, you look like
the kind of man
who has a "Bollock Brothers"
album.
I wouldn't put that on.
It's a bit... not the right mood.
Oh?
And what's the right mood?
Well, I don't know, just...
something... you know.
What?
You know, just...
something not as...
sweary and loud.
Paul, that's the most
romantic thing
you've ever said to me.
Shut up.
By the way,
congratulations.
On what?
Two-nil. Quinn and Dixon.
Goal in each half.
Top of the League.
Nine games to go.
George Graham sees no reason
why Arsenal shouldn't bring
the title back to Highbury
for the first time in 16 years.
18 years.
I'm sure he said 16.
Oh, right. Maybe I'm wrong.
Yeah, OK, OK. 18. Whatever.
So, when does it all end?
May.
And what happens
then, in the summer?
Just sit in the park
and wait for the fixture
list to come out.
So what about this summer?
That's a good point.
We might be
in the Charity Shield.
That isn't the point
I was making.
We've been...
seeing each other -
well, we've been
sleeping together
for six months now.
And we've never even planned
a holiday together.
It's a miracle
if we plan a weekend
before Friday afternoon.
And yet you know
what Arsenal are doing
for months in advance.
They produce a fixture list.
Well, I can do that for you.
Give me your diary
and I'll put some dates in it.
Don't be daft.
What's daft about it?
I don't really see
the difference.
How about Saturday,
October the 8th?
Let's go away somewhere.
I haven't got next season's
fixture list yet.
You know you're seeing
Arsenal next year.
You can't say whether
you'll be seeing me.
So what? Everyone's like that.
You know you'll be seeing
your sister next season.
Sisters don't have seasons.
Whatever.
Look, I know where this is going
and you're dead wrong.
I'm capable of commitment
and all that stuff.
If it doesn't happen with you,
that's because of you, not me.
21 years I've been
going to Arsenal.
21 years.
Paul, I don't know
whether you've noticed
but Arsenal are a football team.
And you think
there's a difference?
Yes, I do.
That shows what
you know about it.
'.. Will need a fitness test
'shortly before kick-off. '
That looked like Rocky.
Jo, go back to
the news a minute.
It's only the local news.
I know. It looked like Rocky.
Who looked like Rocky?
Who the hell is Rocky?
Doesn't matter.
We've missed it now.
that "Rocky"
is an Arsenal player.
Yeah, David Rocastle.
And how do you know
what he looks like?
Well, I don't know.
It sinks in after a while.
What else has sunk in?
D'you know where they are
in the Championship Cup
and who their best
goal-hanger is?
I'm not turning into a moron.
OK, I know they're
top of the League.
That's easy to remember.
And I know that
Alan "Smudger" Smith
has scored most of the goals.
But it doesn't...
I'm going next week.
You're going?
Yeah.
To a football match?
Yeah. I thought I should.
Ooh. I tell you, girl,
you'd better watch yourself.
Soon after Tim and I split up,
I woke up one morning
and realised I could
remember his batting average
for the previous season.
Harmless enough, isn't it?
No!
It's all a sinister form
of male manipulation.
Rubbish!
It's true!
You get colonised.
Your native culture
gets driven out
and it's replaced by stuff
you don't even wanna know about.
They're like
bloody missionaries.
They bore you stupid
until you cave in
then they fuck off!
Shut up!
Did you get it?
Yes.
Can I see it?
It's in me purse.
Brilliant. Thanks, Mum.
I've got to do
an extra hour tomorrow.
Left the office at twelve,
I didn't get back till three.
They asked you
what end you wanted?
No. I said, "One, please"
and they gave me that.
How comes you got a ticket
in the Reading end?
Had to get it off a tout.
How much did that cost you?
Fiver.
D'you live in Islington?
Well, near, yeah.
How near is near?
Place called Maidenhead.
Maidenhead?
Maidenhead in Berkshire?
Two miles down the road?
More like six.
Bit nearer Reading than Arsenal.
You should be
supporting your local team.
Look...
Excuse me.
Just seen someone I know.
And was the ticket
all right, in the end?
I was standing with a load
of country bumpkins at first.
Then I found Jenkins and them.
So you stood with Jenkins?
What would YOU know?
You must've been sick
when they equalised.
I heard it on the radio.
The place went mad.
Just had to stand and take it.
Good old Pat Rice, though.
- He never scores, Pat Rice.
- First of the season.
We're good in the Cups,
aren't we?
McNab won't play.
Bertie Mee wouldn't risk him.
How long will it take
to get to Birmingham?
Couple of hours. Maybe three.
But we'll be there by two?
Oh, sure.
How about if we did something
different this afternoon?
How d'you mean?
I thought you might like
to meet Jane and
the kids for lunch.
Then maybe take 'em to the zoo
or pictures... somewhere.
They've been over this week
visiting their grandmother.
They'd love to meet you.
You don't mean instead
of the game, do you?
We couldn't do both.
You didn't get
any tickets, did you?
The tickets are
waiting for us there.
So you're telling me
you've got tickets
but you wanna go and see
"The Jungle Book"?
You're teasing me, aren't you?
We don't have to go to Arsenal
every time I'm in London, do we?
I thought we were
beyond that stage.
We'll never be
beyond that stage.
I thought you said
you'd look after me.
You said you didn't need
looking after.
You're gonna get
your fucking heads kicked in!
Gonna get your fucking heads
kicked in!
Fucking jump
for the ball, Niall!
Come on, Arsenal!
Do you want this or not?
'Everton nil, Norwich nil. '
You'll get used to it.
I don't wanna get used to it.
What's going on at
the Liverpool/Forest game?
There's trouble or something.
They ain't kicked off yet.
There. Heard about Hillsborough?
This guy was just saying.
Bloke up there reckons
there's people hurt.
Jesus. What happened?
I dunno.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
'Semi-final
'between Nottingham Forest
and Liverpool
'at the Hillsborough ground
in Sheffield.
'It's feared that at least
'were crushed to death.
'Hundreds were forced
on to the pitch. '
It's just so stupid.
'The Liverpool manager,
Kenny Dalglish,
'and his opposite number,
Brian Clough,
'were clearly appalled
by the scenes.
'There's so far
nothing to suggest... '
So stupid.
'.. that what happened
'was the result
of violence amongst fans. '
They must've realised
something like this
was gonna happen one day.
One afternoon on the North Bank
and you're an expert.
Well, that's it, then.
That's what?
You can't go back now, can you?
'Course we will.
How can you?
Because...
because everyone else will.
Because the game will go on.
They'll even replay this one.
This doesn't change anything.
I just don't get you.
No, I know you don't.
It's not just me you don't get.
It's any of us.
I hope the rest of them
aren't as selfish
and manipulative as you.
What's selfish about
watching a football team?
It's all selfish, all of it!
All those stupid stories
about how your mum's cats
are called after great players
and how she drove
through the snow
to get you a Cup ticket.
You stopped seeing your father
when you didn't need him
to take you
to the games any more.
And we're supposed to understand
because football's football.
When we think of Paul,
we think of Arsenal.
It makes me sick!
I hated this afternoon.
D'you wanna know why?
Because if you didn't
give a toss about Arsenal,
what are you left with?
You pay £5 to stand
on a lump of concrete.
You can't see anything,
you're not even safe.
And you can't complain
because that would be
letting the lads down.
That'd show
you didn't care enough.
Well, at least
we care about something.
At least we're not in
night after night
worrying about our lesson plans.
Whether a Scale 3
might come up in Bournemouth.
Perhaps one day you'll learn
to care about something
you can't tick.
Thanks.
I'm sorry.
Football
has meant too much to me
and come to represent
too many things.
After a while,
it all gets mixed up
together in your head.
You can't remember whether
life's shit
because Arsenal's shit
or the other way round.
I've been to watch
far too many games,
spent far too much money.
Fretted about Arsenal
when I should have been
fretting about something else.
I've asked too much
of the people I love.
OK, I accept all that.
Perhaps it's something
you can't understand
unless you belong.
But what about this...?
Three minutes to go
and you're two-one up
in a semi-final.
You look around and see
thousands of faces
contorted with fear
and hope and worry.
Everyone lost.
Everything else
gone out of their heads.
Then the whistle blows
and everyone goes spare.
And just for those few minutes,
you're at the centre
of the whole world.
And the fact
that you care so much,
that the noise you've made
has been such
a crucial part of it,
is what makes it special.
You've been
as important as the players
and if you hadn't been there,
who'd have been bothered
about football, really?
The great thing is,
it comes round again and again.
There's always another season.
If you lose
the Cup Final in May,
there's the third round
to look forward to in January.
What's wrong with that?
It's actually pretty comforting
if you think about it.
But every now and then -
not very often, but it happens -
you catch a glimpse of a world
that doesn't work like that.
A world that doesn't stop in May
and begin again in August.
There's some stuff
that just never comes back.
And some stuff
that just won't go away.
And some stuff
that you couldn't ignore
even if you wanted to.
Hello.
'It's me. '
Do you know what time it is?
'Yeah, and I'm sorry. '
Listen, are you pregnant?
Are these for me?
Yeah.
Flowers.
I suppose they were,
once upon a time.
Thank you.
Come on, Jo.
Oh.
And chocolates!
It's come just at
the right time for me.
It's come just at
the right time for me.
I was gettin' bored with
that pub and football stuff.
You can only spend so much time
playing Subbuteo.
Having a kid's a brilliant idea.
It wasn't really an idea.
It might as well have been.
It's perfect.
It's not just the baby.
It's, you know,
it's you as well.
I think we're good together.
I thought I was
Miss Jean Brodie.
I was wrong.
I've been thinking about this.
You're George Graham.
The Arsenal manager.
And that's good, is it?
It's brilliant.
You're careful and organised
and methodical and all that.
That's why we work.
I need somebody like that.
And you need somebody
like me...
Work well as a team.
Not even as a team, as a club.
Paul, you do talk
some terrible nonsense.
It's not. It's the truth.
It's all working out.
Wife and baby, that'll do me.
Who said anything about a wife?
We'd want to do it
properly, wouldn't we?
Liam? If it's a boy.
The greatest Arsenal player ever
but it's a nice name.
Better apply for the job.
What job?
Rosie's Head of Year
job. I said no -
but now, brilliant.
Perfect timing.
We'll need a bit more money
'cause we'll need a house.
- Paul...
- Ted'll be pleased, anyway.
- Liam, brilliant.
- Paul...
We could live near the ground.
It's cheap 'cause no-one
wants a football stadium
on their doorstep.
I'd pay extra
but we won't tell
the estate agent.
Mortgage, wife, kid - cool.
Paul, none of this is real.
You're behaving
like a little kid.
I've been impregnated
by a 12-year-old!
Oh, thanks.
Thanks very much.
Sorry about that.
No problem, sir.
Sorry, you were saying?
Paul, this is exactly
what I mean.
That was just a one-off.
Never happened before.
I promise it won't be
a regular feature of life.
Paul...
I haven't made up my mind
what I'm doing about this yet.
Do you understand?
Yes.
No, not really.
I can't see this working out.
- It's my last chance.
- Don't be silly.
It's just what it feels like.
Are you prepared
to be a one-parent family?
I think if we go
through with this,
one of us is gonna have to be.
No, it'll be brilliant.
I don't think I've been
since George Eastham
was in the team.
Before my time.
He was a lovely player.
The sort you don't get
any more.
Languid and thoughtful
and elegant.
You should come
and watch Tony Adams.
How can I help, anyway?
I changed my mind about
that Head of Year job,
if it's not too late.
No. No, excellent.
I'm very pleased.
I've had a couple
of applications
but I'd be glad
to add your name.
Thank you.
Any particular reason
for the change of mind?
There is, actually, yes.
Er, Miss, um...
Well, Miss Hughes is pregnant.
Sarah Hughes? History?
Yes, yes, of course.
Um... Well, I didn't, um...
I mean, she...
How does this affect you?
Sorry, no. I left a bit out.
I'm the father.
I should've told you that
straight away, shouldn't I?
Anyway, yes,
we're having a baby.
I haven't heard this from her.
You're hearing it
from me, now.
Sorry, Paul,
I can't share your joy.
Sarah's been
with us five minutes
and a member of staff
has knocked her up!
I'm intending
to marry her and everything.
We won't embarrass the school.
You already have
embarrassed the school!
How on earth are we
supposed to talk to kids
about responsibility
and contraception
and... and the rest of it
when the staff themselves...
Words fail me!
- I thought you'd be pleased.
- About what?
The clandestine affair?
The accidental pregnancy?
Not those bits, maybe,
but me applying for the job.
That's good, isn't it?
Are you a complete fool, Paul?
I'll talk to you later.
Yeah, OK, OK.
Calm down.
I want you to take
your foot off the gas
in the second half.
What's the fun
of beating a team
15 or 20-nil?
It's brilliant fun!
All right.
Just take it easy, eh?
You're like vultures.
Now go on!
Come on, lads!
Oh, hi.
We're winning 8-nil.
Er, 9-nil.
Calm down!
Are you a complete fool?
You've been to see Ted.
He's not best pleased with us.
Who else are you
gonna tell? The kids?
We could recreate
what we did in assembly.
Find the Durex that split
and bring it in.
I could lose my job!
They can't sack you
for getting pregnant.
I haven't been here
long enough for maternity leave.
The union'll help.
None of this is the point, Paul.
The point is...
How many times have I told you
about playing to the whistle?
Call me later, OK?
See, if we...
Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!
Come on, you useless shower!
This lot are crap -
get stuck in!
I'm not a psychologist...
but I'd suggest
that taking up smoking
the week you find out
you're pregnant
indicates a certain ambivalence
towards the pregnancy
on your part.
He's given up.
- Paul?!
- Mm-hm.
Mr First Thing in the Morning?
Yeah. We're both making it
clear where we stand.
I start drinking and smoking
and he's given everything up.
This is horrible.
I don't care how much
damage it's doing to me.
So if everything's as bad
as you make out,
how come you're not applying
for jobs in... Pitlochry?
I know Paul's gone
completely mad.
I know, I know, I know.
It's just that it kind of
rubs off on you somehow.
It makes a difference
- to how you think about things.
- Like?
Like today, right?
I want us to win.
- With you so far.
- I think we will.
Home to Norwich,
you'd usually predict
two-nil defeat.
Nil-nil if you was
on top of the world.
If we don't, it's not
the end of the world.
Four games left.
twelve points to be won.
That's not what I mean.
If we don't win the League,
I'll cope because
of Sarah and the baby.
When you've got
nothing else going on,
Arsenal fill all the gaps.
You end up getting in a state
about losing to Spurs
when really you should be
getting in a state
about yourself.
But we will win today.
Sun's out,
I'm gonna be a father,
Alan Smith's back.
Five-nil, no trouble.
Let's go.
'George Graham off the bench
'to shake hands with a very
disappointed Dave Stringer.
'Norwich know their
Championship challenge
'has evaporated.
'Arsenal's is very much
'on course after today.
'Arsenal five, Norwich City nil.
'Alan Smith the man of the match
'with two goals,
'one of them
a splendid effort... '
Everything's happening at once
and it's brilliant.
Stick with me.
No way we won't win the League.
It's all you, is it?
Nothing to do
with George, Smithy, Rocky
or me buying sugar mice?
You never get
feelings like that?
I felt brilliant the day
we got knocked out
of the League by Walsall.
Got a pay rise,
got off with Caroline Walsh
the night before.
Fat lot of fucking notice
this lot took.
Some of us have it,
some of us haven't.
You must've had
a shitty life for 18 years.
I haven't had it all the time
but I've got it
this season in spades.
Did you go?
Yeah. We were great, weren't we?
My mum wants a season ticket.
Can I have a quick word?
We're just talking
about the rout of Norwich.
Yes, saw it on TV.
Very impressive.
It's good
that Alan Smith's back.
Yeah. Run along, Robert.
I had a word with the Governors.
They'll be happy
to interview you
for Head of Year.
Thanks, Ted.
Ted... I'm not planning
to make a habit of this
if that's what
you're worried about.
It's something out
of the ordinary for me.
Just be prepared, OK?
School Governors
can be a funny lot.
'.. Still Middlesborough nil,
'Arsenal nil... '
You're kidding. No way.
Can't afford anywhere else.
N5's not the only place
in the world, you know.
Sarah, you know
that's not true.
You hardly
hear anything, most games.
How often do they play?
Once a month.
- Something like that.
- Right.
Do they leave much mess?
No. Shall I leave you
to look around?
Thanks, yeah.
What does it matter
how close to the ground you live
as long as you can
come to the games?
When I was a kid,
I read this...
story about what used
to happen round here
on Cup Final days
if Arsenal were playing.
They'd have this procession.
The women and kids
dressed up in fancy dress
and led the men going
to Wembley to the station.
I lived in Maidenhead.
- What did we have there?
- Money, decent schools,
holidays abroad, enough food.
Yeah. You're right, yeah.
I was lucky.
But I was rootless, too.
I didn't have
anything like that.
Nothing I could be proud of,
nothing I can look back on
and feel sentimental about
except telly programmes
and pop music.
But it's different here.
Anyway... it's close to the tube.
It's 50 minutes
from the West End.
It's not far from school.
I'm not prepared
to indulge your fantasies.
The best thing for you
would be to get further away,
not a few yards nearer.
- It doesn't feel like that.
- Tough.
Is there a problem?
- No.
- No!
It's a lovely house. Really.
It's just the view.
'So George Graham... '
Tell me again what was wrong
with that place in...
Creighton Avenue.
The one with the garden.
'Despite all their control,
Arsenal... '
I'm talking to myself.
Somewhere a bit
further north, anyway.
Bounds Green?
'John Lukic prepares
to play it downfield... '
Watford?
'.. Into the
Middlesborough half... '
How about Darlington?
There's a team there.
'Goal!'
YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Helsinki. Helsinki United
are really good this season.
One Martin Hayes!
There's only one Martin Hayes!
One Martin...
So, Paul...
Confident?
Sorry, not about the job.
About what's going on
down the road.
Arsenal. My boy tells me
you're a fan.
Oh, right.
Well, er... so far, so good.
Season ticket holder?
Yes.
Whereabouts?
Er, North Bank.
Right, shall we, um...?
Who d'you think we should sign?
Think we need a new striker?
Er...
I'm delighted
we didn't get Kerry Dixon.
Ray... Ray, I think
we should, um...
Oh, sorry, Ted.
Once you get going,
it's hard to stop.
We know all about
your teaching abilities.
What extra-mural activites
are you involved in?
Paul's just coached
the Under-14s to the Cup Final.
My Nigel thinks
you should be England Manager.
Might be a more suitable
position than Head of Year.
I did the school play
last summer and...
Who've we got in the final?
Parkside?
Are they any good?
Pretty good.
And I've been very much involved
in the pastoral side of things
as a form teacher.
And we understand that, um,
you're an expectant father.
Um... yes.
That's one
of the extra-mural activities
you forgot to mention, Paul.
Chatting up
other members of staff.
MORE than chatting them up.
You've got good taste,
I'll give you that.
'As we reach the final Saturday
'of the League season,
'we're not sure of the destiny
of the League title.
'Arsenal are favourites... '
'Both sides must keep winning.
'Defeat for Liverpool
at Wimbledon this afternoon
'and a win for Arsenal
against Derby... '
Hello? Oh, hello, Ted.
'.. when they meet Wimbledon. '
No, just watching
Saint and Greavesie.
Yeah, home to Derby.
'.. At Anfield... '
Thank you.
'.. On May the 26th. '
Oh... Oh, right.
I wasn't really
expecting it, to be honest.
It didn't go
brilliantly, did it?
Oh, is she?
Well, no...
I think she'd make
a very good Head of Year.
Yeah.
Look, thanks...
Thanks for letting me know.
No, I'd have swapped it
for three points
this afternoon anyway.
Cheers, Ted.
When was the last time
you felt this nervous
about a League game?
I dunno.
1971, I should think.
Two home wins, could be
Champions Tuesday night.
Imagine.
What we gonna do?
Drink, I expect.
Can't think about it
in bed at night
otherwise I can't sleep.
Champions!
Take back everything
you said about me.
I will. Tuesday night.
This is the worst
day of my life.
18 fucking years
and they blow it
on the last weekend
of the season.
Come on, Paul,
it's only half-time.
It's only one-nil.
Doesn't matter.
They've blown it.
Knew they would, didn't I?
Useless bastards!
I am sorry.
Yeah, thanks.
How are you feeling?
Sick.
I just wasn't expecting it,
not today, anyway.
They had to tell you some time.
Tell me what?
What have we been talking about?
What have YOU
been talking about?
The job!
The job?!
You think I'd be this upset
about a stupid,
poxy job interview?
We lost at home to Derby today.
We've blown it!
When are you gonna
wake up to yourself?
Wake up to myself?
I AM bloody awake!
I wish I wasn't.
I want to go to sleep
for the next ten seasons.
Seasons. I am sick to death
of hearing about bloody seasons!
We live our lives
in years, Paul.
January through to December.
Not all of us.
Yes, all of us. Even you.
Do you understand
what today meant?
You know how long I've
been waiting for this?
Yes, I do. 18 years.
Yeah, 18 years!
I've wanted Arsenal
to win the League
longer than I've
wanted anything.
I've been after
that Head of Year job
for about two weeks.
You think I'd care
about that more?
No, you care more about one team
scoring more than another.
You thought I came
to comfort you about that?
For a moment, yeah.
I credited you with imagination.
Thought you might understand.
It's only a game.
DON'T SAY THAT!
Please! That is the worst,
most stupid thing
anyone could say!
It quite clearly
isn't only a game.
If it was, d'you honestly
think I'd care this much?
Eh?
18 years!
18... years!
D'you know what you wanted
18 years ago?
Or ten? Or five?
Did you wanna be Head of Year
at a North London comprehensive?
I doubt if you've wanted
anything for that long.
And if you had,
and if you'd spent three months
thinking that finally
you were gonna get it
and just when
you think it's there,
it's taken away from you!
I don't care what it is -
a car, a job, an Oscar.
The baby.
Then you'd understand
how I was feeling tonight.
But there isn't
and you don't, so...
So what? So... fuck off?
Go home? Leave you alone?
Whatever.
There isn't anything
I've wanted for 18 years
because I was a kid
If I did still want the same
things, I'd have gone wrong.
I don't want
to marry David Cassidy,
have bigger tits,
do well in my mock 'O's.
I've stopped worrying
about all that.
Maybe there's a big bit
of you that's gone missing.
Maybe everyone
should want something
they've always wanted.
I don't know
what I've been thinking of.
How d'you mean?
We've both been pretending
that this is possible
and it's not, is it?
This wife and kids
and la-di-da life's great stuff.
It's not on, any of it, is it?
All it took was
one bad football result
and we're now back
to "life is shit
so what's the point?"
What IS the point?
I don't think
that Arsenal's home form
is a sturdy enough basis
for marriage and parenthood.
No.
Not even THIS season.
'.. Give him a surprise enema. '
'Sir Nigel?'
Hello?
'How are you?'
Oh, hi, Mum.
Yeah, just having a night in.
Yeah, I know. They were awful.
Yeah, yeah...
She's fine.
She... says hello.
Look, Mum, I've gotta go.
Supper's on the table.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Bye, Mum.
Mr Ashworth, the play
was supposed to start
five minutes ago.
We're waiting.
No good, Miss.
He's got the hump.
Have you had a row?
Shut up, Holly.
OK, everyone into the hall.
Quietly!
How did Arsenal
get on last night?
YOU have a look.
Ooh... sorry.
They drew two-two.
What does that mean?
Dunno. Apart from bad.
It means they have
to beat Liverpool away
to win the Championship.
Now, I've heard of Liverpool.
They're famous
for being good, aren't they?
Gary Lineker,
Peter Shilton, all that lot.
So Arsenal have no chance?
None whatsoever, it says here.
But do we really CARE that much?
Don't bounce it in here.
Miss Hughes.
Are you chewing?
No.
And finally, I probably
don't need to tell you
that the final
of the South Hertfordshire
Schools Cup Competition
takes place here
this afternoon at 4.30.
I'm sure you join me
in wishing Mr Ashworth
and the boys
the very best of luck.
Not that they'll need it.
I know that many of you
will be anxious to get home
to start your homework.
But... those who feel
they can spare the time,
and wish to lend
their vocal encouragement,
will be most welcome.
Thank you.
I think you stand
an extremely good chance...
How are we doing?
Losing one-nil.
Playing shit.
How long to go?
Almost finished.
Penalty!
Come on, somebody!
It's all down to you, Rob.
Good boy, Robert.
Rob!
You're useless!
Sorry, sir. You don't
need to say anything.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
I should never have taken it.
No one else had the guts.
Yeah, so I'm stupid
as well as useless.
Doesn't matter.
You've had a brilliant season.
It's not what I'm gonna
remember, though, is it?
Anyway...
Winning this afternoon
and Arsenal winning
tomorrow night...
- What would you go for?
- Tomorrow night, of course.
There you go, then.
What? You're telling me
Arsenal are gonna win
two-nil at Anfield.
Can't promise, can I?
There's a chance.
You've done your bit.
Missed a penalty.
If that's what it takes,
it's worth it.
Yeah, 'course.
Good luck, sir.
You've got nothing
to worry about.
No chance.
Hope you get stuffed, sir.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Off to watch the big match?
Yeah.
I just came
to wish you good luck.
Thanks.
The boys in my GCSE set
were trying to explain it to me.
You have to win two-nil, right?
- Yeah.
- It's possible, isn't it?
You've got no chance, sir.
Shut up!
Is it right you've
handed in your notice?
Yeah. I need more money.
Child support.
We could've managed.
Between us.
It'd be a bit awkward,
working in the next room
to the absent father
of your child.
Maybe.
Well, I'll be
thinking of you tonight.
Are you gonna watch?
I'm not sure.
My fifth-formers are having
and end-of-school party
and I've been invited.
But I'll try.
It doesn't matter.
It's only a stupid game.
'The teams occupying
'first and second place
in the Championship.
'The last match of the season
'for the League Championship.
'The Anfield roar welcoming
and intimidating
'as we join our commentary team
'of David Pleat and Brian Moore.
'Thank you, Elton.
'Good evening, everybody.
'Arsenal on the pitch...
'with bouquets of flowers.
'Which I think are... '
We should be there.
You were the one who said
it wasn't worth the hassle.
I didn't know
it'd be the title decider.
Anyway, imagine all those
Scousers celebrating.
I'd rather be down here
with my own people.
.. Person.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Thought you were
a football fan, Duncan.
That's why I can't
stand Arsenal.
- Sounds like an old joke.
- No joke.
- William?
- Hate football. And Arsenal.
Don't you wanna know
how they're getting on?
- No.
- Go on, I bet you do.
We wouldn't mind.
Mind if Miss Hughes
sticks the TV on?
She wants the football scores.
- I don't, really.
- Not much.
I wonder why. If you must,
but just to find out the score.
OK.
Still nil-nil, first half.
'Into that crowd it goes. '
There he is -
my mate, Mickey Thomas.
Shut up, Mum. He's useless.
I like him.
Shows what YOU know.
'They out-played them
'for most of the
Littlewoods Cup tie... '
Miracle of modern technology.
But it hasn't got
an aerial or nothing.
It doesn't need one.
'Positive charge by Adams
'but it falls to Whelan. '
Oh, hello, love.
I was wondering
who'd dare ring tonight.
'Arsenal have some
very big chaps... '
Your brother'll have
the phone off the hook.
'It'd be dangerous
to give away... '
No score. No, not really.
They don't look like they're
gonna let one in either.
Hold on.
'.. Tangling with Whelan.
'Michael Thomas
getting to the byline.
'Danger for Liverpool. '
Oh!
- No!
- Ah!
That was it.
That was our chance.
No, there'll be others.
You reckon? I don't.
'Arsenal within a whisker
'of getting the goal they wanted
'early in this game. '
Let's go out.
.. You're kidding.
No, let's go and get hammered.
Forget all about it.
I'm watching till the end.
Can't do that. Sorry.
'Just imagine the tension
'if Arsenal do manage
to snatch a goal. '
Sit down.
There's no point!
I'm off in a minute.
I'll just... stay till half-time.
'Everyone's looking
very closely at him.
'He's beginning to get
the mood of this game... '
I'll just see what
they've got to say.
Doin' OK, aren't we?
What's the use of OK?
Might as well
be losing eight-nil.
If you want to win
a game two-nil,
you've got more chance
if it's nil-nil at half-time
than if you're
eight goals down.
You're living
in cloud cuckoo land!
Join the real world!
In the real world,
it's nil-nil at half time!
Might as well be eight-nil.
Jesus, Paul,
you need medical help.
You've got some kind of disease
that turns people
into miserable bastards.
- Are you stayin'?
- No!
'I'm just wondering
at what stage
'George Graham will decide... '
Just watch a couple of minutes
of the second half.
'Winterburn and
Richardson behind it.
'Adams made a darting
little run in there.
'And Smith!'
- Y-E-E-ES!
- YES!
- Ha, ha!
- Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
'Liverpool players
'are surrounding the referee. '
He's gonna disallow it now.
Typical. Bet you
any money you like.
'He's coming to have
a word with the linesman.
'Now - a crucial decision here.
'Ronnie Whelan looking on there.
'The goal's been given. '
YE-E-ES!
Isn't that just like Arsenal?
They need two so they score one
just to get us all going.
You want 'em to score a second
before they scored the first?
'And what a game we have now.
'The breakthrough by Arsenal,
'their fans...
'are delighted.
'Back to Smith.
'Adams there with him.
'Merson...
'Richardson...
'A chance here...
'Thomas!'
Oh!
'.. Grobbelar grabbed it. '
Told you. He's useless.
'Suddenly, Thomas,
totally unmarked... '
That's it.
I've had enough. I'm off.
Good. Fucking good riddance!
Are you coming?
No!
It's M Y flat!
You try gettin' me out of it.
'And Hansen will get it back.
'Quarter of an hour left. '
They've scored!
OK, listen up, everyone.
I don't know what to say now.
Sasha!
Um, well, basically,
Miss Hughes,
we had a whip-round
and bought you
a thank-you present.
Was that it?
Brief and to the point.
Thank you.
Wait. There's a bit more.
Well, we didn't
like you at first
'cause you gave us
too much work.
But we really enjoyed it
and we think
we'll pass our exams
so you must be a good teacher.
Scott, who's at home
watching football,
says you're like George Graham
because you push us hard
and get results.
Dinner's ready, guys!
Highbury, please.
Whereabouts?
Just around the corner
from the Arsenal ground.
I don't wanna go there tonight.
Not now.
It's in Liverpool, the football.
But I'm tapin' it, see.
They'll give
the game away there.
They'll be doin' their nut
or be as quiet as the grave.
You can go in and out
before the final whistle.
Come on, then.
You're an Arsenal fan, then?
Used to be, when I was a kid.
Charlie George an' all of them.
I don't go any more.
I'd bloody love 'em
to win tonight.
I'd bloody love it!
'Remember,
Arsenal need two goals.
'At the moment, they have one.
'If it stays this way,
'Liverpool will be Champions
for the 19th time. '
We shouldn't even have turned
the TV on this evening.
'But will it stay this way?'
What did we think would happen?
I don't reckon I'll be able
to carry on after this.
I won't be able to...
pick myself up.
Well, to get this close!
'Unless there is
an amazing and dramatic... '
Why did I listen to you?
Me?
You said we had a chance!
Well, we did. We do!
We're practically
in injury time!
'Arsenal have powered forward
'in search of the second goal. '
I might start supporting a team
that never wins.
Orient or someone.
At least you know
where you stand.
You don't lay yourself open
to situations like this.
'.. His team-mate,
John Aldridge... '
Can you believe that?
You're on your way out.
See what they want
when you're down there.
'Presumably,
we'll have to go on.
'And remember,
'Arsenal have both
substitutes already on. '
'One minute to go.
'McMahon has got the word
from the Kop, obviously.
'But nobody knows
quite how much time
'the referee will add on. '
This is awful!
It's like the end of the world!
'If Arsenal ARE
to lose the Championship,
'having had such
a lead at one time,
'it's somewhat poetic justice
'that they have the result
'even though
they're not to win it. '
Oh, shut up, Pleat.
'You can see we're now
'well into time added on. '
Will you please,
please, please, please
please just fucking fuck off!
You have arrived during
the worst 60 seconds of my life
and I don't want to see you!
I ask you! What sort
of berk would do that?
You'd just about forgive
an alien from Planet Tharg
but even then, you'd...
Where you going?
You're mad!
You might miss something!
'Adams is after his man.
'But Barnes will not be denied.
'Yes, he will, by Richardson.
'Down and injured.
'Streaming forward now
'in what will be
their last attack.
'Good ball by Dixon,
finding Smith.
'To Thomas.
PA-A-A-A-A-AUL!
'Charging through
the midfield, Thomas!'
'It's up for grabs now...
'Thomas!
'Right at the end. '
A- A-A-A-A-A-AH!
'An unbelievable climax
'to the League season!'
A- A-A-A-A-A-AH!
Mickey Thomas!
Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh!
Oh...
How much injury time is there?
They've had
two minutes already.
They'll go straight up
the other end
and score.
'That's the final whistle.
'Arsenal, the Champions. '
And Ashworth has done it!
Arsenal!
We are the Champions!
YEAH!
YES!
I KNEW we'd do it.
I had this feeling.
Oh, yeah?
You're a lying bastard.
No, no, honestly.
On the surface,
I was all negativity and doubt.
But on the inside,
you gotta believe, haven't you?
I AM sorry.
No.
No, thank YOU.
I wouldn't have
missed this for the world!
PAUL!
Friend of yours?
A guy I work with.
He's enjoying himself.
Yeah.
I've never seen him so happy.
When I think back
to the 26th of May, 1989 now,
it's impossible to explain
exactly what happened
to either of us.
All three of us
if you count the team.
But I do know this -
my relationship
with Arsenal changed that night.
It was as if I'd jumped on
to the shoulders of the team
and they'd carried me
into the light
that had suddenly
shone down on all of us.
And the lift they gave me
enabled be to part company
with them in some ways.
We still see
each other all the time
and I still love them
and hate them.
But I have my own life now.
My successes and failures
aren't necessarily
linked up with theirs.
That's got to be
a good thing, I suppose.
Life's never
gonna be this good again.
Fuck off. Don't start on me.
No, you don't get...
- What's his name?
- Michael Thomas.
You don't get Michael Thomas
moments in real life.
You don't get many
in football, either.
I'm not in such a state, am I?
I didn't need saving after all.
What?
Let's not get carried away.
You're still
a tragic human being.
Do we look particularly
tragic tonight?
Didn't see many
Miss Jean Brodies
leaping around the streets.
All too busy writing out
tomorrow's lesson plans.
Where did you find
the term "lesson plan"?
You've never planned a lesson.
I've got better things to do.
Oh, is that right?
Is, er, is George Graham
really horrible?
Why?
No reason.
Has somebody else
noticed the resemblance?
Yeah. My fifth-formers.
Hah! He has the reputation
of being mean and dour
and unapproachable and...
OK, OK. Thank you, Paul.
I think I get the message.
And driven!
Good.
How's your fish?
Good.
How's school?
OK.
Paul?
OK.
Good.
How's your ice-cream?
Good.
Let's do something different
next time I'm over.
Like what?
Um... go swimming?
Go and see a film?
I'll think of something.
I'm Ms Hughes.
It's not Miss, it's not Mrs.
Ms, OK?
Practise? Say it after me.
Ms Hughes.
Come on.
Ms Hughes.
Fine.
Don't forget.
Right, I'm gonna start off today
by telling you
a few things I like
and a few things I DON'T like.
Yeah, all right. All right.
All right,
that's enough football.
Now, "Of Mice and Men".
How many of you managed to, uh,
get all the way through it?
Steven, you've got
your hand in the air.
You've not read it?
Yes, sir.
What happens in the end?
He shoots him, sir.
Who shoots who?
The little bloke
shoots the big bloke.
He's right, sir.
I'm leaving because
there's no point carrying on.
If I've got Steven Downing
to read a book,
there's no challenges left.
My career can only go downhill.
Better be about
the book, Robert.
No, sir. It's about Alan Smith.
Yeah, well, later.
What about him?
Mr Ashworth, have you
got a moment?
Sorry, but the noise from here
makes it impossible to
concentrate next door.
You'll get used to it.
I don't want to get used to it.
I want to do some work,
not listen to moronic
football chanting.
QUIET!
Out! Out!
Hold your hands up
in the air!
Offside! Linesman!
YOU'RE the linesman!
My God!
Right, clap.
Show he's done the right thing.
We don't have linesmen, sir.
Applaud the referee, then.
Jesus, doesn't matter.
That'll do for today.
Right. See you tomorrow, Sarah.
All right.
I was the naive,
stupid new teacher,
you were the cynical old hand?
What?
The snorting when
I asked a question.
I was reading
the football reports.
I never listen
at staff meetings.
This has got to be a pose,
this football stuff.
You pretend to be a yob
for a bit of street cred?
Is this 'cause my kids
were enjoying their lesson?
Well, all kids enjoy a riot.
Actually teaching them
something is a lot harder!
I've seen this film.
You end up shagging
on the carpet.
If we end up shagging
on the carpet,
I will buy you a new carpet.
Yeah, right.
But I tell you...
I knew it!
No. No carpets.
He is an English teacher.
Oh, God, not all this again.
I mean, what about
Patrick Swayze?
No-one cares whether
he read Byron or not.
And you know, he is
the full Axminster.
I'd want a brain as well.
Eventually.
I'm gonna measure up.
I'm off to Habitat first thing.
If we end up shagging,
you can carpet the whole house.
The walls, the ceiling,
the garden...
Well, what's she like?
One of those women -
if you like football,
you must be a yob.
Bollocks.
Is she fit?
Not that you'd prove
her point or anything.
What?
What have I done?
It's a perfectly reasonable,
straightforward question.
She's not unattractive,
but so what?
A) She hates me,
B) I hate her,
and C) what's the point
of all that?
Waste of fucking time.
Ooh, sounds promising, then.
It must be terrible
being that miserable.
Pretending you only care
about football results
because the world's
a terrible place
and what's the point of it all?
What IS the point?
Maybe it IS football results.
Don't worry. He's a sad,
lonely bastard.
Who cares what
made him that way?
Where's your brother?
Eh?
He's over there.
Oi, number nine!
You're a donkey!
Didn't he have a trial
with someone once?
Yeah. Orient.
They offered him
a contract, as well.
What happened?
Turned it down.
Stupid sod.
Said it was too risky.
What's he doing now?
Er, runs his own business.
Computer something.
He's on about
fifty grand a year.
I'd swap fifty grand a year
- for a contract with Orient.
- So would I.
- Don't even like Orient.
- Neither do I.
He gets it both ways.
Gets fifty grand a year,
gets to play at a place
with floodlights.
Floodlights and a tea bar.
I'd love to play at a place
with a tea bar.
Yeah, well...
Bit late now, eh?
Dunno.
Stanley Matthews played
First Division football
till he was fifty.
Bet you any money you like
YOU'RE not playing
First Division football
- when you're fifty.
- It's the smoking.
It's not the smoking, Steve,
it's the crapness.
Pass the ball!
Penalty!
Yes!
Hold that.
I've always wanted to do this.
Anthropologists have always
had a hard time with football.
The trouble is,
you can only see
what's on the outside.
But there IS an inside,
believe it or not.
We all have our reasons
for loving things the way we do.
Hey!
He's here!
Thanks for being so helpful.
Ready?
He's been ready for hours.
No, I haven't.
Yes, you have.
What time will you be back?
Er, six. Six thirty.
Fine.
See you later, then.
OK?
Have a nice time.
See you later, sunshine.
We'll do something
special next time, huh?
You looking forward to it?
What?
The match.
Yeah.
Sounds like it.
I'm not really a football fan.
No.
One day we'll find something
you DO wanna do.
Your mum seems in good form.
Yeah.
She OK?
Not really.
The last home game, last season?
What about it?
They were fucking rubbish.
Fucking rubbish last year
and the year before.
They'll be fucking
rubbish this year, too.
And next year.
And the year after that.
I don't know
why you come, Frank.
You live in hope.
What d'you reckon?
Think they're bad as Frank says?
This is his first time.
Hope he knows what he's
lettin' himself in for.
Have a look at the number eight.
Jon Sammels.
Remember his face
and if you happen
to bump into him,
tell him to sod off to Spurs!
Programmes!
Programmes!
Go on, give it a shove.
Someone hasn't been
eating their greens.
Wey-hey!
We're in "Y", OK?
Yeah.
What d'you reckon?
When's the next game?
Week after next, probably.
Let's have a look.
Yeah, Sunderland.
They're away at Leeds next week.
Can we come to the
Sunderland game, Dad?
You might wanna go
somewhere different.
If you're gonna be
a football fan,
think carefully about
who you're gonna follow.
Look.
For fuck's sake, Arsenal!
Get it!
Sammels, you're a fucking idiot!
Sort yourself out!
That was a brilliant goal,
wasn't it, Dad?
It was pretty good, yeah.
What happened?
It was a penalty,
the goalie saved it
then the man
who missed the penalty
had another go and scored.
- Terry Neill?
- That's right.
- He's good, isn't he?
- Fantastic.
I'm off, then.
See you next week.
Let's go.
Come on.
Why do we have to leave?
Beat the traffic.
Long walk back to the car,
we'll be stuck for hours.
But they might score again.
There's a remote possibility.
But it won't be this afternoon.
Joke. If you're an Arsenal fan,
you get used to jokes like that.
I will.
Who d'you think played best?
Dunno. But Sammels was rubbish.
I don't think so.
Crowd didn't understand
what he was trying to do.
They were on to him
before he'd done anything wrong.
- I disagree.
- Oh, you do?
One afternoon at football,
you're Kenneth Wolstenholme.
Who did YOU think
played the best?
Might make an Arsenal defence
of them yet, Robert.
Yes, sir.
Em, sir, you going
to Highbury next week?
- Nah.
- Oh.
'Course I'm going.
Want me to get you
a programme?
It's cash in advance.
I've been caught too many times.
No, it's not that.
Em...
could I come with you?
That'd be a bit difficult.
To be honest,
between you and me,
- I go to the pub first.
- I could wait outside.
I stand on the North Bank.
You wouldn't see.
- I'd go down the front.
- Your mum'd love that.
She says I have to go
with a responsible adult.
Saturday's the one
day of the week
when I'm NOT
a responsible adult.
I turn into someone your age.
Not as sensible.
She won't have to find out.
I'm sorry, Robert, I can't.
Well, not this week.
Maybe some other time, eh?
Next season when
you've grown a bit?
Get you a programme.
Cash in advance unnecessary,
on this occasion.
To hell with it,
you can have one for free.
Thanks, sir.
Bollocks!
BOLLOCKS!
Nothing to worry about.
His handwriting's a disgrace
to the human race
but he's very bright
and enjoys the lessons.
He does. He's always
goin' on about you.
It's my enthusiasm for
Steinbeck's prose style.
Either that or something else.
The football, you mean?
Robert thinks they might
win the championship
for the first time since 1970.
1971.
Gotta get things
like that right.
Absolutely.
Did he tell you what happened
after football training?
He asked me if I'd take him
to the Arsenal.
Mr Ashworth, I'm so sorry.
He just seemed uptight about it.
His dad and me are
recently separated.
It was his dad
he used to go with.
- You don't wanna take him?
- Don't know anything about it.
I very much doubt if he'd care.
I can tell you everything
you need to know
in about five minutes.
She seemed to enjoy
the Elizabethans
but when we moved on,
she slipped back.
She dropped four places.
Was it four? No, six.
Which I found
a little disappointing
though I'm not sure
that she did.
No. She's got her heart set
on a hairdresser's
apprenticeship.
Right.
Thanks very much, then.
You come out the tube station,
cross over the street
and in that entrance there,
you buy unreserved seats, £7.
My ex can pay.
- He's a Spurs fan, isn't he?
- Yeah.
I'd go for £12 seats.
Sting the bastard
for all you can get.
Thank you so much.
You've been really helpful.
Hello, Mr Johnson.
How are you?
Evening. Suppose you're feeling
pretty pleased with life.
Oh, fuck it!
Would you like a lift?
You don't know where I live.
Yes, I do. Crouch End.
It's on my way home.
'Don't forget, I'll be back
'with all the top
sports stories...
'But first of all... '
How about you?
Arsenal.
Inside the stadium
or just nearby?
'Number one,
'Abigail's Party,
You really are Mr Popular,
aren't you?
All those queues at your desk.
'.. Live commentary
'on three races
from that meeting. '
Sorry.
'And the main one at 3.45.
'Now the main sports stories. '
What were you talking to
Robert Parker's mother about?
'.. Suspended Arsenal's
Paul Davis... '
Shit! Fuck! Bollocks!
I'm sorry?
Paul Davis.
Who's Paul Davis?
Arsenal.
Were we talking about him?
'.. Signed a four-year
contract... '
Sorry. I wasn't listening.
'.. Olympic headlines
from Seoul,
'Linford Christie's
given the all-clear... '
- Arsenal.
- Yes, you said.
No, I was talking
to Robert Parker's mother
about Arsenal.
God!
I'm in the wrong job.
Well, I'm in the wrong life.
I spent hours preparing
for a parents' evening.
No one could think
of two words to say to me.
Yet they queue for hours
to hear your pearls of wisdom
on next week's game
against Wolves United!
Yeah...
Just Wolves. No United.
Look, I'm sorry.
It must seem unfair.
Yes, it does, actually.
It's the next left.
Maybe you're too
uptight with them.
Maybe you should just...
be yourself more.
All those files and folders
and what have you.
That IS me being myself.
It's just here.
D'you want a cup of coffee?
OK.
You don't have to.
No, no, no. I'd...
Yeah, I'd like to.
What are these for, then?
They're not for anything.
They just look nice.
Are they yours?
No.
Jo's. My flat-mate.
It's her place.
She's away at the moment.
Can I smoke?
No.
You can stay the night, though,
if you want.
Not on the carpet.
I can't afford it.
You might have
the decency to run.
Then we wouldn't
be doing it together.
Cocky cow.
It's just a fact. Look.
OK! OK!
I HATE you!
I owe you a new carpet.
Well, maybe a new spare bed.
You shagged
the football hooligan!
I knew it! I knew it!
He's not a football hooligan.
So he HAS read Byron?
He's bound to have done!
It doesn't really matter
if he hasn't.
Who'd have thought it, eh?
"Iron Knickers" Hughes
ending up with a yob.
He's not a yob
and I'm not ending up with him.
You wanna bet?
Where are you off to?
I'm starving.
I was thinking of ringing
for a pizza.
Have you read Byron?
What?
Have you read
any of Byron's poems?
Yeah.
"The Assyrian came down
like a wolf on the fold
"and his somethings
were gleaming
"in black and old gold. " Crap.
What are those?
My... Arsenal boxer shorts.
They're not my best ones.
I was running out.
But you're willing to show them
to another human being.
I wasn't exactly
showing them to you.
What d'you wanna know
about Byron for?
Um... a bet.
Did you win?
I don't think so.
Stay in line!
Right, now push up!
Out! Out!
That's it! Good lads.
Offside, referee!
Offside!
Ref!
Oi, ref, he was miles off.
It's not M Y fault.
Too good a coach for this level.
What's the score?
One-all.
If you count that POXY GOAL
they just scored.
What's this, Cup or League?
Cup, quarter-final.
- How long left?
- Fifteen.
I wanted to talk to you
about a vacancy.
Rosie Hunter's
handed in her notice.
I wondered whether you'd be
interested in applying.
Head of Year?
Um... well...
Obviously not the most
attractive offer
you've ever had.
Come on, Ben! Get back with him!
Sorry, Ted.
I haven't fired you
with enthusiasm.
It's a lot of work.
What do I wanna
do more work for?
More money?
I've got enough to pay my rent,
enough for my season ticket
and a couple of records a month.
Got no family.
I'd like you to think about it.
Sorry. There's nothing
to think about.
Come on, Sam! Put it away!
YES!
Why aren't adults
supposed to go mad
about anything?
You've got to keep a lid on it.
And if you don't,
then people
are apparently entitled
to say what they like.
You haven't grown up,
you're a moron.
Your conversation
is trivial and boorish.
You can't express
your emotional needs.
You can't relate
to your children
and you die -
lonely and miserable.
But you know, what the hell?
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Not on your own.
How many more times?
You'll have to wait
until your father's over.
So I'll get to Highbury
five times a year?
It's not my fault
your father lives abroad.
Mum, they play 21 times a year
plus Cup matches. That's...
Mum, why is Crossroads a motel?
What d'you mean?
Why isn't it just a hotel?
29! If they get to
the League Cup semi-final,
the FA Cup quarter-final...
You can take your car there.
You forgot Europe.
I don't know how many
games last season.
Oh, yeah.
That's another five games.
That hotel in Devon,
we took our car.
Every round is home and away.
We had to leave it
in the car park.
Fives into thirty-five
goes seven.
One-seventh of all
the home games. Pathetic!
Paul, in a motel,
you drive a car into a room!
Say you only went to one-seventh
your Choral Society
They'd throw you out.
Arsenal won't throw you out.
They want your money.
I've looked it up.
I can catch the 12.53
to Paddington,
be at Paddington by 1.36,
get the Circle and District
and Metropolitan Line
to Kings Cross.
Then it's Caledonian Road,
Holloway Road,
Arsenal, third stop.
Be there 2.15, easy.
For Christ's sake,
go if you want to.
Yes! Thanks, Mum.
Charlie, Charlie,
Charlie's the King of Highbury.
Don't come runnin' to me
if you get stabbed to death.
I won't.
Jimmy Husband! Brilliant.
It's not easy
to become a football fan.
It takes years.
But if you put in the hours,
you're welcomed,
without question,
into a new family.
Except in this family,
you care about the same people
and hope for the same things.
What's childish about that?
A terrible foul
by McLintock on Rocastle.
He'll be lucky
to stay on the pitch.
It wasn't THAT bad.
It was mistiming,
it wasn't malicious.
Bollocks!
So, that's a free kick
to 1989 Arsenal
and... Davis takes it.
And...
Goal!
And that's 1989 Arsenal four,
1971 Arsenal, nil.
Bob Wilson will be
bitterly disappointed
with that one.
This lot would never beat
the Double team
four-nil at Subbuteo.
It's just I'm crap at it!
Should've chosen someone else.
Who else played in yellow
and blue away strip?
- Everton?
- Be Everton, then.
OK. But this game's abandoned.
I can't start
suddenly pretending
that John Radford's Joe Royle.
It'd do my head in.
Have to start again.
Nil-nil.
All right. Go on, then.
Yes!
What are you thinking about?
- Oh... stuff.
- What stuff?
I was thinking about
DH Lawrence, actually.
Yeah?
What about him?
Well...
Well... about his books.
What about his books?
Just... which one's the longest.
And?
I- I couldn't remember.
Well, which one did
you think it might be?
That's just it.
I couldn't decide.
Between what and what?
Mm...
Well, "Lady
Chatterley's Lover"...
- And...?
- And, um...
I wasn't thinking
about DH Lawrence at all.
You amaze me.
I was thinking about Arsenal.
I'm staggered.
We might win
the League this year.
We're half-way through
the season and we're top
and they'll fuck it up but...
You're not impressed, are you?
I am. I hope
they win the League.
It's just that...
Why did you lie?
I've got to vary the answers.
I can't say Arsenal every time.
I can't find any... "Bread".
Do I look like the sort of man
who'd have a "Bread" album?
No, you look like
the kind of man
who has a "Bollock Brothers"
album.
I wouldn't put that on.
It's a bit... not the right mood.
Oh?
And what's the right mood?
Well, I don't know, just...
something... you know.
What?
You know, just...
something not as...
sweary and loud.
Paul, that's the most
romantic thing
you've ever said to me.
Shut up.
By the way,
congratulations.
On what?
Two-nil. Quinn and Dixon.
Goal in each half.
Top of the League.
Nine games to go.
George Graham sees no reason
why Arsenal shouldn't bring
the title back to Highbury
for the first time in 16 years.
18 years.
I'm sure he said 16.
Oh, right. Maybe I'm wrong.
Yeah, OK, OK. 18. Whatever.
So, when does it all end?
May.
And what happens
then, in the summer?
Just sit in the park
and wait for the fixture
list to come out.
So what about this summer?
That's a good point.
We might be
in the Charity Shield.
That isn't the point
I was making.
We've been...
seeing each other -
well, we've been
sleeping together
for six months now.
And we've never even planned
a holiday together.
It's a miracle
if we plan a weekend
before Friday afternoon.
And yet you know
what Arsenal are doing
for months in advance.
They produce a fixture list.
Well, I can do that for you.
Give me your diary
and I'll put some dates in it.
Don't be daft.
What's daft about it?
I don't really see
the difference.
How about Saturday,
October the 8th?
Let's go away somewhere.
I haven't got next season's
fixture list yet.
You know you're seeing
Arsenal next year.
You can't say whether
you'll be seeing me.
So what? Everyone's like that.
You know you'll be seeing
your sister next season.
Sisters don't have seasons.
Whatever.
Look, I know where this is going
and you're dead wrong.
I'm capable of commitment
and all that stuff.
If it doesn't happen with you,
that's because of you, not me.
21 years I've been
going to Arsenal.
21 years.
Paul, I don't know
whether you've noticed
but Arsenal are a football team.
And you think
there's a difference?
Yes, I do.
That shows what
you know about it.
'.. Will need a fitness test
'shortly before kick-off. '
That looked like Rocky.
Jo, go back to
the news a minute.
It's only the local news.
I know. It looked like Rocky.
Who looked like Rocky?
Who the hell is Rocky?
Doesn't matter.
We've missed it now.
that "Rocky"
is an Arsenal player.
Yeah, David Rocastle.
And how do you know
what he looks like?
Well, I don't know.
It sinks in after a while.
What else has sunk in?
D'you know where they are
in the Championship Cup
and who their best
goal-hanger is?
I'm not turning into a moron.
OK, I know they're
top of the League.
That's easy to remember.
And I know that
Alan "Smudger" Smith
has scored most of the goals.
But it doesn't...
I'm going next week.
You're going?
Yeah.
To a football match?
Yeah. I thought I should.
Ooh. I tell you, girl,
you'd better watch yourself.
Soon after Tim and I split up,
I woke up one morning
and realised I could
remember his batting average
for the previous season.
Harmless enough, isn't it?
No!
It's all a sinister form
of male manipulation.
Rubbish!
It's true!
You get colonised.
Your native culture
gets driven out
and it's replaced by stuff
you don't even wanna know about.
They're like
bloody missionaries.
They bore you stupid
until you cave in
then they fuck off!
Shut up!
Did you get it?
Yes.
Can I see it?
It's in me purse.
Brilliant. Thanks, Mum.
I've got to do
an extra hour tomorrow.
Left the office at twelve,
I didn't get back till three.
They asked you
what end you wanted?
No. I said, "One, please"
and they gave me that.
How comes you got a ticket
in the Reading end?
Had to get it off a tout.
How much did that cost you?
Fiver.
D'you live in Islington?
Well, near, yeah.
How near is near?
Place called Maidenhead.
Maidenhead?
Maidenhead in Berkshire?
Two miles down the road?
More like six.
Bit nearer Reading than Arsenal.
You should be
supporting your local team.
Look...
Excuse me.
Just seen someone I know.
And was the ticket
all right, in the end?
I was standing with a load
of country bumpkins at first.
Then I found Jenkins and them.
So you stood with Jenkins?
What would YOU know?
You must've been sick
when they equalised.
I heard it on the radio.
The place went mad.
Just had to stand and take it.
Good old Pat Rice, though.
- He never scores, Pat Rice.
- First of the season.
We're good in the Cups,
aren't we?
McNab won't play.
Bertie Mee wouldn't risk him.
How long will it take
to get to Birmingham?
Couple of hours. Maybe three.
But we'll be there by two?
Oh, sure.
How about if we did something
different this afternoon?
How d'you mean?
I thought you might like
to meet Jane and
the kids for lunch.
Then maybe take 'em to the zoo
or pictures... somewhere.
They've been over this week
visiting their grandmother.
They'd love to meet you.
You don't mean instead
of the game, do you?
We couldn't do both.
You didn't get
any tickets, did you?
The tickets are
waiting for us there.
So you're telling me
you've got tickets
but you wanna go and see
"The Jungle Book"?
You're teasing me, aren't you?
We don't have to go to Arsenal
every time I'm in London, do we?
I thought we were
beyond that stage.
We'll never be
beyond that stage.
I thought you said
you'd look after me.
You said you didn't need
looking after.
You're gonna get
your fucking heads kicked in!
Gonna get your fucking heads
kicked in!
Fucking jump
for the ball, Niall!
Come on, Arsenal!
Do you want this or not?
'Everton nil, Norwich nil. '
You'll get used to it.
I don't wanna get used to it.
What's going on at
the Liverpool/Forest game?
There's trouble or something.
They ain't kicked off yet.
There. Heard about Hillsborough?
This guy was just saying.
Bloke up there reckons
there's people hurt.
Jesus. What happened?
I dunno.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
Arsenal!
'Semi-final
'between Nottingham Forest
and Liverpool
'at the Hillsborough ground
in Sheffield.
'It's feared that at least
'were crushed to death.
'Hundreds were forced
on to the pitch. '
It's just so stupid.
'The Liverpool manager,
Kenny Dalglish,
'and his opposite number,
Brian Clough,
'were clearly appalled
by the scenes.
'There's so far
nothing to suggest... '
So stupid.
'.. that what happened
'was the result
of violence amongst fans. '
They must've realised
something like this
was gonna happen one day.
One afternoon on the North Bank
and you're an expert.
Well, that's it, then.
That's what?
You can't go back now, can you?
'Course we will.
How can you?
Because...
because everyone else will.
Because the game will go on.
They'll even replay this one.
This doesn't change anything.
I just don't get you.
No, I know you don't.
It's not just me you don't get.
It's any of us.
I hope the rest of them
aren't as selfish
and manipulative as you.
What's selfish about
watching a football team?
It's all selfish, all of it!
All those stupid stories
about how your mum's cats
are called after great players
and how she drove
through the snow
to get you a Cup ticket.
You stopped seeing your father
when you didn't need him
to take you
to the games any more.
And we're supposed to understand
because football's football.
When we think of Paul,
we think of Arsenal.
It makes me sick!
I hated this afternoon.
D'you wanna know why?
Because if you didn't
give a toss about Arsenal,
what are you left with?
You pay £5 to stand
on a lump of concrete.
You can't see anything,
you're not even safe.
And you can't complain
because that would be
letting the lads down.
That'd show
you didn't care enough.
Well, at least
we care about something.
At least we're not in
night after night
worrying about our lesson plans.
Whether a Scale 3
might come up in Bournemouth.
Perhaps one day you'll learn
to care about something
you can't tick.
Thanks.
I'm sorry.
Football
has meant too much to me
and come to represent
too many things.
After a while,
it all gets mixed up
together in your head.
You can't remember whether
life's shit
because Arsenal's shit
or the other way round.
I've been to watch
far too many games,
spent far too much money.
Fretted about Arsenal
when I should have been
fretting about something else.
I've asked too much
of the people I love.
OK, I accept all that.
Perhaps it's something
you can't understand
unless you belong.
But what about this...?
Three minutes to go
and you're two-one up
in a semi-final.
You look around and see
thousands of faces
contorted with fear
and hope and worry.
Everyone lost.
Everything else
gone out of their heads.
Then the whistle blows
and everyone goes spare.
And just for those few minutes,
you're at the centre
of the whole world.
And the fact
that you care so much,
that the noise you've made
has been such
a crucial part of it,
is what makes it special.
You've been
as important as the players
and if you hadn't been there,
who'd have been bothered
about football, really?
The great thing is,
it comes round again and again.
There's always another season.
If you lose
the Cup Final in May,
there's the third round
to look forward to in January.
What's wrong with that?
It's actually pretty comforting
if you think about it.
But every now and then -
not very often, but it happens -
you catch a glimpse of a world
that doesn't work like that.
A world that doesn't stop in May
and begin again in August.
There's some stuff
that just never comes back.
And some stuff
that just won't go away.
And some stuff
that you couldn't ignore
even if you wanted to.
Hello.
'It's me. '
Do you know what time it is?
'Yeah, and I'm sorry. '
Listen, are you pregnant?
Are these for me?
Yeah.
Flowers.
I suppose they were,
once upon a time.
Thank you.
Come on, Jo.
Oh.
And chocolates!
It's come just at
the right time for me.
It's come just at
the right time for me.
I was gettin' bored with
that pub and football stuff.
You can only spend so much time
playing Subbuteo.
Having a kid's a brilliant idea.
It wasn't really an idea.
It might as well have been.
It's perfect.
It's not just the baby.
It's, you know,
it's you as well.
I think we're good together.
I thought I was
Miss Jean Brodie.
I was wrong.
I've been thinking about this.
You're George Graham.
The Arsenal manager.
And that's good, is it?
It's brilliant.
You're careful and organised
and methodical and all that.
That's why we work.
I need somebody like that.
And you need somebody
like me...
Work well as a team.
Not even as a team, as a club.
Paul, you do talk
some terrible nonsense.
It's not. It's the truth.
It's all working out.
Wife and baby, that'll do me.
Who said anything about a wife?
We'd want to do it
properly, wouldn't we?
Liam? If it's a boy.
The greatest Arsenal player ever
but it's a nice name.
Better apply for the job.
What job?
Rosie's Head of Year
job. I said no -
but now, brilliant.
Perfect timing.
We'll need a bit more money
'cause we'll need a house.
- Paul...
- Ted'll be pleased, anyway.
- Liam, brilliant.
- Paul...
We could live near the ground.
It's cheap 'cause no-one
wants a football stadium
on their doorstep.
I'd pay extra
but we won't tell
the estate agent.
Mortgage, wife, kid - cool.
Paul, none of this is real.
You're behaving
like a little kid.
I've been impregnated
by a 12-year-old!
Oh, thanks.
Thanks very much.
Sorry about that.
No problem, sir.
Sorry, you were saying?
Paul, this is exactly
what I mean.
That was just a one-off.
Never happened before.
I promise it won't be
a regular feature of life.
Paul...
I haven't made up my mind
what I'm doing about this yet.
Do you understand?
Yes.
No, not really.
I can't see this working out.
- It's my last chance.
- Don't be silly.
It's just what it feels like.
Are you prepared
to be a one-parent family?
I think if we go
through with this,
one of us is gonna have to be.
No, it'll be brilliant.
I don't think I've been
since George Eastham
was in the team.
Before my time.
He was a lovely player.
The sort you don't get
any more.
Languid and thoughtful
and elegant.
You should come
and watch Tony Adams.
How can I help, anyway?
I changed my mind about
that Head of Year job,
if it's not too late.
No. No, excellent.
I'm very pleased.
I've had a couple
of applications
but I'd be glad
to add your name.
Thank you.
Any particular reason
for the change of mind?
There is, actually, yes.
Er, Miss, um...
Well, Miss Hughes is pregnant.
Sarah Hughes? History?
Yes, yes, of course.
Um... Well, I didn't, um...
I mean, she...
How does this affect you?
Sorry, no. I left a bit out.
I'm the father.
I should've told you that
straight away, shouldn't I?
Anyway, yes,
we're having a baby.
I haven't heard this from her.
You're hearing it
from me, now.
Sorry, Paul,
I can't share your joy.
Sarah's been
with us five minutes
and a member of staff
has knocked her up!
I'm intending
to marry her and everything.
We won't embarrass the school.
You already have
embarrassed the school!
How on earth are we
supposed to talk to kids
about responsibility
and contraception
and... and the rest of it
when the staff themselves...
Words fail me!
- I thought you'd be pleased.
- About what?
The clandestine affair?
The accidental pregnancy?
Not those bits, maybe,
but me applying for the job.
That's good, isn't it?
Are you a complete fool, Paul?
I'll talk to you later.
Yeah, OK, OK.
Calm down.
I want you to take
your foot off the gas
in the second half.
What's the fun
of beating a team
15 or 20-nil?
It's brilliant fun!
All right.
Just take it easy, eh?
You're like vultures.
Now go on!
Come on, lads!
Oh, hi.
We're winning 8-nil.
Er, 9-nil.
Calm down!
Are you a complete fool?
You've been to see Ted.
He's not best pleased with us.
Who else are you
gonna tell? The kids?
We could recreate
what we did in assembly.
Find the Durex that split
and bring it in.
I could lose my job!
They can't sack you
for getting pregnant.
I haven't been here
long enough for maternity leave.
The union'll help.
None of this is the point, Paul.
The point is...
How many times have I told you
about playing to the whistle?
Call me later, OK?
See, if we...
Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!
Come on, you useless shower!
This lot are crap -
get stuck in!
I'm not a psychologist...
but I'd suggest
that taking up smoking
the week you find out
you're pregnant
indicates a certain ambivalence
towards the pregnancy
on your part.
He's given up.
- Paul?!
- Mm-hm.
Mr First Thing in the Morning?
Yeah. We're both making it
clear where we stand.
I start drinking and smoking
and he's given everything up.
This is horrible.
I don't care how much
damage it's doing to me.
So if everything's as bad
as you make out,
how come you're not applying
for jobs in... Pitlochry?
I know Paul's gone
completely mad.
I know, I know, I know.
It's just that it kind of
rubs off on you somehow.
It makes a difference
- to how you think about things.
- Like?
Like today, right?
I want us to win.
- With you so far.
- I think we will.
Home to Norwich,
you'd usually predict
two-nil defeat.
Nil-nil if you was
on top of the world.
If we don't, it's not
the end of the world.
Four games left.
twelve points to be won.
That's not what I mean.
If we don't win the League,
I'll cope because
of Sarah and the baby.
When you've got
nothing else going on,
Arsenal fill all the gaps.
You end up getting in a state
about losing to Spurs
when really you should be
getting in a state
about yourself.
But we will win today.
Sun's out,
I'm gonna be a father,
Alan Smith's back.
Five-nil, no trouble.
Let's go.
'George Graham off the bench
'to shake hands with a very
disappointed Dave Stringer.
'Norwich know their
Championship challenge
'has evaporated.
'Arsenal's is very much
'on course after today.
'Arsenal five, Norwich City nil.
'Alan Smith the man of the match
'with two goals,
'one of them
a splendid effort... '
Everything's happening at once
and it's brilliant.
Stick with me.
No way we won't win the League.
It's all you, is it?
Nothing to do
with George, Smithy, Rocky
or me buying sugar mice?
You never get
feelings like that?
I felt brilliant the day
we got knocked out
of the League by Walsall.
Got a pay rise,
got off with Caroline Walsh
the night before.
Fat lot of fucking notice
this lot took.
Some of us have it,
some of us haven't.
You must've had
a shitty life for 18 years.
I haven't had it all the time
but I've got it
this season in spades.
Did you go?
Yeah. We were great, weren't we?
My mum wants a season ticket.
Can I have a quick word?
We're just talking
about the rout of Norwich.
Yes, saw it on TV.
Very impressive.
It's good
that Alan Smith's back.
Yeah. Run along, Robert.
I had a word with the Governors.
They'll be happy
to interview you
for Head of Year.
Thanks, Ted.
Ted... I'm not planning
to make a habit of this
if that's what
you're worried about.
It's something out
of the ordinary for me.
Just be prepared, OK?
School Governors
can be a funny lot.
'.. Still Middlesborough nil,
'Arsenal nil... '
You're kidding. No way.
Can't afford anywhere else.
N5's not the only place
in the world, you know.
Sarah, you know
that's not true.
You hardly
hear anything, most games.
How often do they play?
Once a month.
- Something like that.
- Right.
Do they leave much mess?
No. Shall I leave you
to look around?
Thanks, yeah.
What does it matter
how close to the ground you live
as long as you can
come to the games?
When I was a kid,
I read this...
story about what used
to happen round here
on Cup Final days
if Arsenal were playing.
They'd have this procession.
The women and kids
dressed up in fancy dress
and led the men going
to Wembley to the station.
I lived in Maidenhead.
- What did we have there?
- Money, decent schools,
holidays abroad, enough food.
Yeah. You're right, yeah.
I was lucky.
But I was rootless, too.
I didn't have
anything like that.
Nothing I could be proud of,
nothing I can look back on
and feel sentimental about
except telly programmes
and pop music.
But it's different here.
Anyway... it's close to the tube.
It's 50 minutes
from the West End.
It's not far from school.
I'm not prepared
to indulge your fantasies.
The best thing for you
would be to get further away,
not a few yards nearer.
- It doesn't feel like that.
- Tough.
Is there a problem?
- No.
- No!
It's a lovely house. Really.
It's just the view.
'So George Graham... '
Tell me again what was wrong
with that place in...
Creighton Avenue.
The one with the garden.
'Despite all their control,
Arsenal... '
I'm talking to myself.
Somewhere a bit
further north, anyway.
Bounds Green?
'John Lukic prepares
to play it downfield... '
Watford?
'.. Into the
Middlesborough half... '
How about Darlington?
There's a team there.
'Goal!'
YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Helsinki. Helsinki United
are really good this season.
One Martin Hayes!
There's only one Martin Hayes!
One Martin...
So, Paul...
Confident?
Sorry, not about the job.
About what's going on
down the road.
Arsenal. My boy tells me
you're a fan.
Oh, right.
Well, er... so far, so good.
Season ticket holder?
Yes.
Whereabouts?
Er, North Bank.
Right, shall we, um...?
Who d'you think we should sign?
Think we need a new striker?
Er...
I'm delighted
we didn't get Kerry Dixon.
Ray... Ray, I think
we should, um...
Oh, sorry, Ted.
Once you get going,
it's hard to stop.
We know all about
your teaching abilities.
What extra-mural activites
are you involved in?
Paul's just coached
the Under-14s to the Cup Final.
My Nigel thinks
you should be England Manager.
Might be a more suitable
position than Head of Year.
I did the school play
last summer and...
Who've we got in the final?
Parkside?
Are they any good?
Pretty good.
And I've been very much involved
in the pastoral side of things
as a form teacher.
And we understand that, um,
you're an expectant father.
Um... yes.
That's one
of the extra-mural activities
you forgot to mention, Paul.
Chatting up
other members of staff.
MORE than chatting them up.
You've got good taste,
I'll give you that.
'As we reach the final Saturday
'of the League season,
'we're not sure of the destiny
of the League title.
'Arsenal are favourites... '
'Both sides must keep winning.
'Defeat for Liverpool
at Wimbledon this afternoon
'and a win for Arsenal
against Derby... '
Hello? Oh, hello, Ted.
'.. when they meet Wimbledon. '
No, just watching
Saint and Greavesie.
Yeah, home to Derby.
'.. At Anfield... '
Thank you.
'.. On May the 26th. '
Oh... Oh, right.
I wasn't really
expecting it, to be honest.
It didn't go
brilliantly, did it?
Oh, is she?
Well, no...
I think she'd make
a very good Head of Year.
Yeah.
Look, thanks...
Thanks for letting me know.
No, I'd have swapped it
for three points
this afternoon anyway.
Cheers, Ted.
When was the last time
you felt this nervous
about a League game?
I dunno.
1971, I should think.
Two home wins, could be
Champions Tuesday night.
Imagine.
What we gonna do?
Drink, I expect.
Can't think about it
in bed at night
otherwise I can't sleep.
Champions!
Take back everything
you said about me.
I will. Tuesday night.
This is the worst
day of my life.
18 fucking years
and they blow it
on the last weekend
of the season.
Come on, Paul,
it's only half-time.
It's only one-nil.
Doesn't matter.
They've blown it.
Knew they would, didn't I?
Useless bastards!
I am sorry.
Yeah, thanks.
How are you feeling?
Sick.
I just wasn't expecting it,
not today, anyway.
They had to tell you some time.
Tell me what?
What have we been talking about?
What have YOU
been talking about?
The job!
The job?!
You think I'd be this upset
about a stupid,
poxy job interview?
We lost at home to Derby today.
We've blown it!
When are you gonna
wake up to yourself?
Wake up to myself?
I AM bloody awake!
I wish I wasn't.
I want to go to sleep
for the next ten seasons.
Seasons. I am sick to death
of hearing about bloody seasons!
We live our lives
in years, Paul.
January through to December.
Not all of us.
Yes, all of us. Even you.
Do you understand
what today meant?
You know how long I've
been waiting for this?
Yes, I do. 18 years.
Yeah, 18 years!
I've wanted Arsenal
to win the League
longer than I've
wanted anything.
I've been after
that Head of Year job
for about two weeks.
You think I'd care
about that more?
No, you care more about one team
scoring more than another.
You thought I came
to comfort you about that?
For a moment, yeah.
I credited you with imagination.
Thought you might understand.
It's only a game.
DON'T SAY THAT!
Please! That is the worst,
most stupid thing
anyone could say!
It quite clearly
isn't only a game.
If it was, d'you honestly
think I'd care this much?
Eh?
18 years!
18... years!
D'you know what you wanted
18 years ago?
Or ten? Or five?
Did you wanna be Head of Year
at a North London comprehensive?
I doubt if you've wanted
anything for that long.
And if you had,
and if you'd spent three months
thinking that finally
you were gonna get it
and just when
you think it's there,
it's taken away from you!
I don't care what it is -
a car, a job, an Oscar.
The baby.
Then you'd understand
how I was feeling tonight.
But there isn't
and you don't, so...
So what? So... fuck off?
Go home? Leave you alone?
Whatever.
There isn't anything
I've wanted for 18 years
because I was a kid
If I did still want the same
things, I'd have gone wrong.
I don't want
to marry David Cassidy,
have bigger tits,
do well in my mock 'O's.
I've stopped worrying
about all that.
Maybe there's a big bit
of you that's gone missing.
Maybe everyone
should want something
they've always wanted.
I don't know
what I've been thinking of.
How d'you mean?
We've both been pretending
that this is possible
and it's not, is it?
This wife and kids
and la-di-da life's great stuff.
It's not on, any of it, is it?
All it took was
one bad football result
and we're now back
to "life is shit
so what's the point?"
What IS the point?
I don't think
that Arsenal's home form
is a sturdy enough basis
for marriage and parenthood.
No.
Not even THIS season.
'.. Give him a surprise enema. '
'Sir Nigel?'
Hello?
'How are you?'
Oh, hi, Mum.
Yeah, just having a night in.
Yeah, I know. They were awful.
Yeah, yeah...
She's fine.
She... says hello.
Look, Mum, I've gotta go.
Supper's on the table.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Bye, Mum.
Mr Ashworth, the play
was supposed to start
five minutes ago.
We're waiting.
No good, Miss.
He's got the hump.
Have you had a row?
Shut up, Holly.
OK, everyone into the hall.
Quietly!
How did Arsenal
get on last night?
YOU have a look.
Ooh... sorry.
They drew two-two.
What does that mean?
Dunno. Apart from bad.
It means they have
to beat Liverpool away
to win the Championship.
Now, I've heard of Liverpool.
They're famous
for being good, aren't they?
Gary Lineker,
Peter Shilton, all that lot.
So Arsenal have no chance?
None whatsoever, it says here.
But do we really CARE that much?
Don't bounce it in here.
Miss Hughes.
Are you chewing?
No.
And finally, I probably
don't need to tell you
that the final
of the South Hertfordshire
Schools Cup Competition
takes place here
this afternoon at 4.30.
I'm sure you join me
in wishing Mr Ashworth
and the boys
the very best of luck.
Not that they'll need it.
I know that many of you
will be anxious to get home
to start your homework.
But... those who feel
they can spare the time,
and wish to lend
their vocal encouragement,
will be most welcome.
Thank you.
I think you stand
an extremely good chance...
How are we doing?
Losing one-nil.
Playing shit.
How long to go?
Almost finished.
Penalty!
Come on, somebody!
It's all down to you, Rob.
Good boy, Robert.
Rob!
You're useless!
Sorry, sir. You don't
need to say anything.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
I should never have taken it.
No one else had the guts.
Yeah, so I'm stupid
as well as useless.
Doesn't matter.
You've had a brilliant season.
It's not what I'm gonna
remember, though, is it?
Anyway...
Winning this afternoon
and Arsenal winning
tomorrow night...
- What would you go for?
- Tomorrow night, of course.
There you go, then.
What? You're telling me
Arsenal are gonna win
two-nil at Anfield.
Can't promise, can I?
There's a chance.
You've done your bit.
Missed a penalty.
If that's what it takes,
it's worth it.
Yeah, 'course.
Good luck, sir.
You've got nothing
to worry about.
No chance.
Hope you get stuffed, sir.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Off to watch the big match?
Yeah.
I just came
to wish you good luck.
Thanks.
The boys in my GCSE set
were trying to explain it to me.
You have to win two-nil, right?
- Yeah.
- It's possible, isn't it?
You've got no chance, sir.
Shut up!
Is it right you've
handed in your notice?
Yeah. I need more money.
Child support.
We could've managed.
Between us.
It'd be a bit awkward,
working in the next room
to the absent father
of your child.
Maybe.
Well, I'll be
thinking of you tonight.
Are you gonna watch?
I'm not sure.
My fifth-formers are having
and end-of-school party
and I've been invited.
But I'll try.
It doesn't matter.
It's only a stupid game.
'The teams occupying
'first and second place
in the Championship.
'The last match of the season
'for the League Championship.
'The Anfield roar welcoming
and intimidating
'as we join our commentary team
'of David Pleat and Brian Moore.
'Thank you, Elton.
'Good evening, everybody.
'Arsenal on the pitch...
'with bouquets of flowers.
'Which I think are... '
We should be there.
You were the one who said
it wasn't worth the hassle.
I didn't know
it'd be the title decider.
Anyway, imagine all those
Scousers celebrating.
I'd rather be down here
with my own people.
.. Person.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Thought you were
a football fan, Duncan.
That's why I can't
stand Arsenal.
- Sounds like an old joke.
- No joke.
- William?
- Hate football. And Arsenal.
Don't you wanna know
how they're getting on?
- No.
- Go on, I bet you do.
We wouldn't mind.
Mind if Miss Hughes
sticks the TV on?
She wants the football scores.
- I don't, really.
- Not much.
I wonder why. If you must,
but just to find out the score.
OK.
Still nil-nil, first half.
'Into that crowd it goes. '
There he is -
my mate, Mickey Thomas.
Shut up, Mum. He's useless.
I like him.
Shows what YOU know.
'They out-played them
'for most of the
Littlewoods Cup tie... '
Miracle of modern technology.
But it hasn't got
an aerial or nothing.
It doesn't need one.
'Positive charge by Adams
'but it falls to Whelan. '
Oh, hello, love.
I was wondering
who'd dare ring tonight.
'Arsenal have some
very big chaps... '
Your brother'll have
the phone off the hook.
'It'd be dangerous
to give away... '
No score. No, not really.
They don't look like they're
gonna let one in either.
Hold on.
'.. Tangling with Whelan.
'Michael Thomas
getting to the byline.
'Danger for Liverpool. '
Oh!
- No!
- Ah!
That was it.
That was our chance.
No, there'll be others.
You reckon? I don't.
'Arsenal within a whisker
'of getting the goal they wanted
'early in this game. '
Let's go out.
.. You're kidding.
No, let's go and get hammered.
Forget all about it.
I'm watching till the end.
Can't do that. Sorry.
'Just imagine the tension
'if Arsenal do manage
to snatch a goal. '
Sit down.
There's no point!
I'm off in a minute.
I'll just... stay till half-time.
'Everyone's looking
very closely at him.
'He's beginning to get
the mood of this game... '
I'll just see what
they've got to say.
Doin' OK, aren't we?
What's the use of OK?
Might as well
be losing eight-nil.
If you want to win
a game two-nil,
you've got more chance
if it's nil-nil at half-time
than if you're
eight goals down.
You're living
in cloud cuckoo land!
Join the real world!
In the real world,
it's nil-nil at half time!
Might as well be eight-nil.
Jesus, Paul,
you need medical help.
You've got some kind of disease
that turns people
into miserable bastards.
- Are you stayin'?
- No!
'I'm just wondering
at what stage
'George Graham will decide... '
Just watch a couple of minutes
of the second half.
'Winterburn and
Richardson behind it.
'Adams made a darting
little run in there.
'And Smith!'
- Y-E-E-ES!
- YES!
- Ha, ha!
- Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
'Liverpool players
'are surrounding the referee. '
He's gonna disallow it now.
Typical. Bet you
any money you like.
'He's coming to have
a word with the linesman.
'Now - a crucial decision here.
'Ronnie Whelan looking on there.
'The goal's been given. '
YE-E-ES!
Isn't that just like Arsenal?
They need two so they score one
just to get us all going.
You want 'em to score a second
before they scored the first?
'And what a game we have now.
'The breakthrough by Arsenal,
'their fans...
'are delighted.
'Back to Smith.
'Adams there with him.
'Merson...
'Richardson...
'A chance here...
'Thomas!'
Oh!
'.. Grobbelar grabbed it. '
Told you. He's useless.
'Suddenly, Thomas,
totally unmarked... '
That's it.
I've had enough. I'm off.
Good. Fucking good riddance!
Are you coming?
No!
It's M Y flat!
You try gettin' me out of it.
'And Hansen will get it back.
'Quarter of an hour left. '
They've scored!
OK, listen up, everyone.
I don't know what to say now.
Sasha!
Um, well, basically,
Miss Hughes,
we had a whip-round
and bought you
a thank-you present.
Was that it?
Brief and to the point.
Thank you.
Wait. There's a bit more.
Well, we didn't
like you at first
'cause you gave us
too much work.
But we really enjoyed it
and we think
we'll pass our exams
so you must be a good teacher.
Scott, who's at home
watching football,
says you're like George Graham
because you push us hard
and get results.
Dinner's ready, guys!
Highbury, please.
Whereabouts?
Just around the corner
from the Arsenal ground.
I don't wanna go there tonight.
Not now.
It's in Liverpool, the football.
But I'm tapin' it, see.
They'll give
the game away there.
They'll be doin' their nut
or be as quiet as the grave.
You can go in and out
before the final whistle.
Come on, then.
You're an Arsenal fan, then?
Used to be, when I was a kid.
Charlie George an' all of them.
I don't go any more.
I'd bloody love 'em
to win tonight.
I'd bloody love it!
'Remember,
Arsenal need two goals.
'At the moment, they have one.
'If it stays this way,
'Liverpool will be Champions
for the 19th time. '
We shouldn't even have turned
the TV on this evening.
'But will it stay this way?'
What did we think would happen?
I don't reckon I'll be able
to carry on after this.
I won't be able to...
pick myself up.
Well, to get this close!
'Unless there is
an amazing and dramatic... '
Why did I listen to you?
Me?
You said we had a chance!
Well, we did. We do!
We're practically
in injury time!
'Arsenal have powered forward
'in search of the second goal. '
I might start supporting a team
that never wins.
Orient or someone.
At least you know
where you stand.
You don't lay yourself open
to situations like this.
'.. His team-mate,
John Aldridge... '
Can you believe that?
You're on your way out.
See what they want
when you're down there.
'Presumably,
we'll have to go on.
'And remember,
'Arsenal have both
substitutes already on. '
'One minute to go.
'McMahon has got the word
from the Kop, obviously.
'But nobody knows
quite how much time
'the referee will add on. '
This is awful!
It's like the end of the world!
'If Arsenal ARE
to lose the Championship,
'having had such
a lead at one time,
'it's somewhat poetic justice
'that they have the result
'even though
they're not to win it. '
Oh, shut up, Pleat.
'You can see we're now
'well into time added on. '
Will you please,
please, please, please
please just fucking fuck off!
You have arrived during
the worst 60 seconds of my life
and I don't want to see you!
I ask you! What sort
of berk would do that?
You'd just about forgive
an alien from Planet Tharg
but even then, you'd...
Where you going?
You're mad!
You might miss something!
'Adams is after his man.
'But Barnes will not be denied.
'Yes, he will, by Richardson.
'Down and injured.
'Streaming forward now
'in what will be
their last attack.
'Good ball by Dixon,
finding Smith.
'To Thomas.
PA-A-A-A-A-AUL!
'Charging through
the midfield, Thomas!'
'It's up for grabs now...
'Thomas!
'Right at the end. '
A- A-A-A-A-A-AH!
'An unbelievable climax
'to the League season!'
A- A-A-A-A-A-AH!
Mickey Thomas!
Yeah!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh!
Oh...
How much injury time is there?
They've had
two minutes already.
They'll go straight up
the other end
and score.
'That's the final whistle.
'Arsenal, the Champions. '
And Ashworth has done it!
Arsenal!
We are the Champions!
YEAH!
YES!
I KNEW we'd do it.
I had this feeling.
Oh, yeah?
You're a lying bastard.
No, no, honestly.
On the surface,
I was all negativity and doubt.
But on the inside,
you gotta believe, haven't you?
I AM sorry.
No.
No, thank YOU.
I wouldn't have
missed this for the world!
PAUL!
Friend of yours?
A guy I work with.
He's enjoying himself.
Yeah.
I've never seen him so happy.
When I think back
to the 26th of May, 1989 now,
it's impossible to explain
exactly what happened
to either of us.
All three of us
if you count the team.
But I do know this -
my relationship
with Arsenal changed that night.
It was as if I'd jumped on
to the shoulders of the team
and they'd carried me
into the light
that had suddenly
shone down on all of us.
And the lift they gave me
enabled be to part company
with them in some ways.
We still see
each other all the time
and I still love them
and hate them.
But I have my own life now.
My successes and failures
aren't necessarily
linked up with theirs.
That's got to be
a good thing, I suppose.
Life's never
gonna be this good again.
Fuck off. Don't start on me.
No, you don't get...
- What's his name?
- Michael Thomas.
You don't get Michael Thomas
moments in real life.
You don't get many
in football, either.
I'm not in such a state, am I?
I didn't need saving after all.
What?
Let's not get carried away.
You're still
a tragic human being.
Do we look particularly
tragic tonight?
Didn't see many
Miss Jean Brodies
leaping around the streets.
All too busy writing out
tomorrow's lesson plans.
Where did you find
the term "lesson plan"?
You've never planned a lesson.
I've got better things to do.
Oh, is that right?
Is, er, is George Graham
really horrible?
Why?
No reason.
Has somebody else
noticed the resemblance?
Yeah. My fifth-formers.
Hah! He has the reputation
of being mean and dour
and unapproachable and...
OK, OK. Thank you, Paul.
I think I get the message.
And driven!