Fashions of 1934 (1934) - full transcript

Sherwood Nash is a swindler who bootlegs Paris fashions for sale at cut-rate prices. His assistant Lynn poses as An American interested in a dress and Snap conceals a camera in his cane. When they try to steal the latest Baroque designs hidden cameras capture them. Threat and counterthreat lead to the suggestion of putting on a legitimate show.

Is Mr Sherwood Nash in?

Have you an appointment?

Well not exactly, but could he see me?

Go right in.

Yes but you see Mr Curtis,
it was a very small issue.

Yes, only five million dollars
and we sold practically all of it.

I guess we can allot you 10,000 shares.

Would you hold the wire a moment. Sit
down. I'll be with you in just a second.

Thank you.

Hello, Mr Spencer?

Hey that stock had a rise of
five and a half points today.

Sell 5,000 at the market?

Alright I'll take care of that for you.



- Thank you.
- Hello, Mr Curtis.

Well in my opinion, that
would be very good judgment.

Alright. You'll take 10,000 shares?

Yes. I'll hold the wire.

Well, sir?

What can I do for you?

I've come to take the telephones out.

They've been disconnected
for three days.

Good day, folks.

- What's he doing with the phones?
- Taking them for a walk.

Any luck?

- Couldn't you raise anything?
- Not a dime.

Well mastermind, now what?

Don't rush me. I'll think of something.

I'd hate to hold my breath until you do.

Come in.

Well sir, what can do for you?

We've come to move out the furniture.

- It's all yours.
- That's right.

What's the idea, Glenda?

Something tells me the Golden
Harvest Investment Corporation...

Is about ready to rest in peace.

I'm not much fun at a funeral.

So, toot-toot.

A lovely girl when you're in the money.

Don't worry. She'll be back.

Where do we go from here, boss?


I'm thinking.


Oh... sorry.

We got find ourselves a new racket.

Could we promote a dance marathon maybe?

Dancing lessons by mail.

How about a bunion derby.

A bathing beauty contest.

A pretty baby parade. A snail race.

- Boss, I got the idea.
- Look, Snap.

- Would you do me a favor?
- Certainly. Anything, boss.

Just let me alone for a minute.
I'll think of something.

Sure you will.

Excuse me, boss.

Oh, nothing matters.

It's alright.

Yes, sir. It's alright.


Just a minute, boss.

Mr Nash, Miss Mason.

- How do you do.
- How do you do, Miss Mason.

Oh, call her Lynn.

Shall I?

Why not?

Isn't that cute?

Very cute.

Oh, get a load of this one.


Well, is that your work?


- So what do you do with them?
- Sell them if I can.

They're sold.

What do you mean?

An idea.

This is rather stunning.

How much is it?


A bit dear, Mr Duryea.

Isn't that rather steep?

Not for an exclusive Parisian model.

Is it really exclusive?

My dear Mrs Van Tyle.

It arrived from Paris six days ago.

There isn't another one
like it in the world.

In that case, I'll take it.

The very latest thing from Paris, Mary.

- How do you like it?
- Very becoming, Madam.

Come in.

I beg your pardon, Madam. The young
woman from the employment agency.

I'll see her right away.

Good afternoon.

They sent me over from the Acme Agency.

Where did you get that dress?

Well, can you beat that?

You got a suit like mine.

I got it over at Rosenthal's basement.

Sixteen ninety-five.

Sixteen ninety-five?

Kind of a gyp at that, but...

- I like to be well dressed.
- Oh, go away.

Give me Mr Duryea.

Yes... yes, I quite agree with you.

It is an outrage.


Yes, of course.

The seventh time that's
happened in two weeks.

Take a letter.

Send copies to Camponelli,
Glass and Feldman.

It is imperative that we organize
to stamp out the copying evil.

Which is undermining our business.

Therefore it is necessary that
we get together immediately.

Hi Jules.

Read this.


- Pirates, huh?
- Yes.

That's why I'm here. I don't like it.

I don't want to get in any jam.

What are you worrying about?

All you're doing is buying photographs
and sketches of dresses from me.

You don't know where I get them.

I'm the bootlegger. You're just the
customer. Nothing can happen to you.

- I hope you're right.
- Of course I am.

What about today's models?

I'm expecting them any minute.

The Isle De France
docked only an hour ago.

I told you that but you'll never learn.

You will never learn.

- Hi, Chief.
- Good evening.

Did the boat get in yet?

- Sure. Harry will be here any minute.
- Well, we're all set for it.

- Winnings?
- No.

Unlucky at cards, lucky in love.

- How are they coming?
- Alright, I think.

- Would you like to see them?
- Yes.

Kinda like her, don't you?

I always admire efficiency.

Efficiency? I never heard
it called that before.

Say, what's the matter?
Isn't she running this alright?

She's running you alright but not me.

I'll attend to this.

Hey, wait a minute. Who found her?

- I did. You never even met her until...
- Young man...

You are stopping the wheels of industry.


- Snap!
- Alright.

Well how is my first Lieutenant?

No complaints, Captain.

Here is Harry. Let's get going.

Come on. Step on it.

- Hello Harry.
- Hello, Glenda.

No time for oohs and aahs.

Let's get the hooks and eyes.


Camera is ready.

Which girl is first?

- Ouch.
- What's the trouble?

I don't know. I think
it caught somewhere.

- Can I help?
- Hurry up!

Alright now.

Where is it?

What are you playing? Blind man's bluff?

There it is.

Just a moment.

Next girl please. Hurry.

- Say, isn't that a beauty?
- Isn't it.

But I think it needs
the other background.

Let's get this one. It's hot.

Hey, what's the big idea?

- Well.
- Oh, my mistake.

Isn't that a honey?

Got it.

Come on children, step on it.
Before the fashion changes.

Here is the last one.

Look at them! I'm getting
better and better every day.

Here is the material for it.

Pretty, huh?


Oh, sorry.

- Crook.
- Robber.

- Cheat!
- Who paid you for this?

- You must tell.
- Or the police will arrest you.

Gentlemen, gentlemen. We'll
never get anywhere this way.

Say, who are these guys anyway?

These gentlemen are my competitors.

Their drivers have been
betraying them too.

Don't make me laugh. You guys got
nothing on me. Nothing has been stolen.

I've had you watched.

Every time we send you down to the pier
to pick up a shipment of new models.

You parked in an alley so
these crooks could take pictures.

Before the models ever got to us.

You're fired.

- Well, so long boys.
- Get out!


Oh Harry, what is it?

I just been canned.


And tell the boss I'm all washed up.


Well what?


He's fired.


They've caught up with your racket.

Mister mastermind.

Well... I'm not much fun with policemen.

So I'm off to Buffalo.


Well, hadn't you better "toot-toot" too?


- You should you know.
- Probably.

I could get in trouble.

I'll risk it, Captain.


What is it, a ghost?

An idea.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

- Mr Duryea.
- Yes?

I understand you represent
the driver we just discharged.

If you don't mind, I don't
believe I've had the pleasure.

Mr Camponelli, Mr Glass, Mr Feldman.



You are the attorney
for our driver, Brent?


Not exactly.

Well then, who are you?

My name is Sherwood Nash.

And what is your connection with Brent?

He was fired for selling us out.
For taking a bribe.

Oh, I'm the man who bribed him.

- You cheap crook!
- Thief!


Of all the crooks.

You are a pirate and a parasite
on legitimate business.

We spend thousands and thousands of
dollars to import Paris models and you...

Ah, now you come to my point.

Gentlemen, why spend those
thousands and thousands of dollars...

When you can have the identical models
delivered to you direct from Paris...

At a mere fraction
of their present cost.

Nash, what are you driving at?

I am merely trying to point out...

That I could just as easily be
working for you as against you.

Instead of being the fly in
your coffee, so to speak.

I could be the cream.
That gentlemen, is why I'm here.

I thought if we had a heart-to-heart
talk we might arrive at some...

Pleasant understanding.

It occurred to me that a
man of my proven ability.

Could be very valuable to you.

In Paris.

Do I make myself clear?

Yes, I think you're a petty,
larcenous crook.

You belong behind bars
and I'll put you there.

- Right! That's it!
- Twenty years.

Now get out and find
yourself a good lawyer.

You'll need one.

Very well.

If by any chance you wish
to get in touch with me...

I'm at the Park Manor hotel.


That's what I call "nerve".

And a leech on the business.

We've got to protect ourselves.

- Good evening.
- Mail?

- Three telephone calls for you, Mr Nash.
- Thank you.

You mustn't get the idea that I'm asking
you to steal models for me in Paris.

What I want is an idea of
the general style trends.

The materials favored.

- The new lines and...
- Possibly a few sketches?

Well yes. If it can be done discreetly.

Of course, you realize
this is strictly confidential?

Mr Duryea, you can trust me implicitly.

Now, what will it cost me?

That will be two thousand a month.


Naturally, I don't want you
to steal any designs in Paris.

But remember.

Nobody must know about our arrangement.

Señor Camponelli, you can
trust me implicitly.

How much?

That will be three thousand a month.

Understand, Mr Nash.

We don't want you to steal
models for us in Paris.

No. That would be unethical.

I'm telling you what has business
got to do with unethical?

I tell you...

What you boys need is unique...

Personal representation in Paris. Right?

That's exactly what I'll give you.

You understand, Mr Nash.
This is confidential.

Sure... and besides,
not a word to nobody.

Gentlemen, you can trust me implicitly.

How much does it set us back?

That will cost you five
thousand a month.

Glad tidings my lad. Come and hear them.

Well... we were just about ready
to come down and bail you out.

You won't have to do any bailing
unless we're shipwrecked.

We sail for Paris tomorrow.

- Then it worked?
- It worked.

Hey, ain't I in on this party?

Now, what could you do in Paris?

What wouldn't I do in Paris?

We could take him along as chaperone.
You'll probably want one.

Well, I don't want one,
but maybe I'll need one.

Paris... wine and women. Ha.


There you are, Madam.


Thank you.

Well, believe it or not, we made it.

I think I'll get on speaking
terms with my state room.

I think I'll get on speaking
terms with the bar.

Well I'll go and see you
don't talk it to death.

Hello sweetheart.

You know darling, I think
I'm going to love Paris.

Oh you do, huh?


Paris is one of the largest
cities in the world...

But too small to hold you and me both.

You can got to Timbuktu for all
I care as long as I get my cut.


What's the idea?

Oh, just a little dash of that
efficiency you admired so much.

Come on baby, give.

Glenda, you know I don't owe you a cent.

No argument. Either you
come across or I go across.

How much?


Three or four grand.

Don't be silly.


I beg your pardon.


I'll give you two grand
and that's the limit.

Okay, big heart.

Isn't this clubby.

Yes, isn't it.

- Glenda came down to see me off.
- Isn't that lovely.

The boat is sailing any minute.

You'd better hurry ashore
unless you want to swim.

- A thousand thanks.
- Two thousand.

Hurry, please.

Hurry off, please.

Just a moment, just a moment.

Oh there she is.

So long, Snappy.

- Get it?
- You bet I did.

- So long, Snappy.
- Hope you land a nice job.

Don't worry. Harry and I go in business
where you and the mastermind left off.

Hey... good luck to you, darling.

No hard feelings.
Come on, give us a little kiss.

- Sorry, but you must leave.
- Oh, I must say goodbye.

I'm sorry.

So long, Glenda.

- How much did you get?
- Guess.

- A grand?
- Two.

What a woman.

It's gone!

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Boy, have I got something to show you.


Holy smoke! I've been robbed.

- No.
- Yes.

- How much was it?
- Two thousand dollars.

Two thousand?

That's right.

Do you like any of them, dear?

They are very nice but they're
not exactly what I'm looking for.

Haven't you something
a little more exclusive?

These are our latest creations, Madame.

Oh come now, Madame.
Haven't you something really new?

Something that hasn't been shown?

I will see.

- Wait, Monsieur.
- Merci, Madame.

Better keep working
on the old girl in black.

She's a pretty tough bird.

Turn on your charm, Sherwood.

No woman can resist you.

Your resistance is still pretty good.

Just a minute, please.

Just a moment, please.

I'd like to see that again.

Once more?

What time to you relaxez-vous?

Hey, Snap.

You are right, governor.

This is very special, Monsieur.
It has not yet been shown to the trade.

Very nice.


I'm afraid it is rather extreme for me.

Well you don't have to decide now, dear.
Why don't you think it over?

I think I will.

Oh yes.

- You've been more than obliging, Madame.
- It was a pleasure, Monsieur.

I hope we haven't put you
to too much trouble.

Au revoir.

What I could do to a
nice juicy hamburger.

One can think better
on an empty stomach.

Yeah? I ought to be able to do
some elegant thinking right now.

- Filthy pictures?
- What?

Filthy pictures.

Merci, Monsieur Baroque.

Au revoir, mon ami.

Au revoir.

Pardon Monsieur. Parlez-vous Anglais?

- Sure.
- Oh, swell.


Was that Baroque, the couturier?

Sure. There is only one Baroque.

- Is he a customer of yours?
- Yes.

He buys all these ancient
books on costumes from me.

- Sherry.
- Huh?

Does that look familiar to you?

Why, sure.

It's exactly like one of those
models we saw at Baroques.

You see, Monsieur.

The fashion is like... how you say it?

A cycle.

What is passé now will be the
fashion in maybe fifty years.

Maybe a hundred.

Baroque gets all his ideas
from books like these.

Say, I'll take this. How much is it?

Seventy-five Francs.

Hey, Snap.

Would you let me have 25 Francs?

I'm flat.

- Thank you.
- I had just 25 left.

- Au Revoir, Monsieur.
- Au Revoir.

Hey, we're starving to death and
you buy old books. What's the idea?

I've been thinking.

See here. If Baroque can borrow
from the past, why can't you?

I can easily.

Who wants to buy my sketches?

Ah, but when they reach our New York
clients they won't be your sketches.

A little gentle forgery
will take care of that.

They will then bear the distinguishes
signatures of Baroque...

Savarin and DeVrille.

Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?

Very clear, Captain.

Why Tibby.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

- You may wait, Perkins.
- Shut up, sir.

Is something troubling you, my man?

I'm tired of being dressed
up in this monkey suit.

Don't crab Perkins,
we must keep up a punt.

Besides, I'm hungry.

Don't be crude, Perkins.

Bonjour Monsieur.

Hiya, Kid.

Hey, come here with that key.
What's the idea?

Ah, good morning.

Good morning.

My dear, I only stopped in at
the Ritz bar for a few minutes.

What pried you loose?

Do I detect a slight note,
a mere soupçon of disapproval?

Listen Sherry, I'm worried.

- Ah, no news from New York, huh?
- No. Not a nickel's worth.

Say, that's pretty good.

Pretty good? I'll have
you know it's very good.

What is it? Savarin or DeVrille?

No, stupid. 24 carat pure Baroque.

Of course.

Now look.

Signed by the master himself.

Here is a perfect Savarin.



Come in.

- Bonjour Monsieur Nash.
- Bonjour.



Let us pray.

He is glad to see that our cable
complaining of delay resulted in action.

He congratulates you on obtaining
these excellent sketches.

And predicts the models will
be large sellers in New York.

Enclosed, please find our check...


Five hundred dollars.

Oh baby, we've made it.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I'm not accustomed to having
people holler at me like this.

Besides, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Beat it, beat it!

Nuts... nuts... nuts... nuts.

Noisettes. Noisettes.

I demand the courtesy due a foreigner.

Well, what seems to be the trouble?

I don't know. This guy grabs the key
and then they both start hollering.

What is it?

Payment on the car. Slightly overdue.

How much?

Five hundred dollars.

Oh well... that's a cinch.

Avez-vous la plume de ma mere?

I'll... just endorse this.


La clef, Monsieur.


Au revoir. Au revoir.

What's it all about?
Are we in the money again?

We were, for a minute.

Yes. Now you see it, and now don't.

- What do you mean?
- It's a long story, Perkins.

- The Embassy.
- What are we going to use for money?

Don't worry. I'll think of something.

And for you, Monsieur?

- Champagne cocktails.
- Champagne cocktails. Oui, Monsieur.

Are you crazy?

Who is going to pay for them?

My dear, they say if you stay
at this bar long enough...

You'll meet everybody in the world.

Do you think I might meet
somebody with a sandwich?

Now don't be a pessimist, my dear.
Why, the world is our oyster.

What did you say? What did you say?

I say the world is our oyster.

Oh, oysters ain't in season.

Ah, now don't you be a pessimist.

Cheerio, Mr Ward.

How did you know my name?

Well my dear sir, I happen to
have the gift of second sight.

And you seem to be depressed.
Is something on your mind?

I say, my name is Sherwood Nash.

- Hello.
- Maybe I can help you?

Yes. It would be much better
if your name was Houdini.

Hold on, look at this. Look at this.

How about a little sandwich?

Here, look at that. Look at that.

A lovely plume.

I can sell you 10,000 gross of those.

Quality A number one.
Immediate delivery.

And ten percent discount for cash.

Sorry old man, but
I'm not in the market.

No. I know, nobody is. Nobody is.

No. I got a thousand
ostriches out in California.

Eating their heads off but I
haven't sold a feather in a year.

Why is that?

I don't know. Ostrich feathers
ain't like cheese and flour.

They are always in demand.

But plumes like mine? No. I give up.


- Garçon.
- Oui, Monsieur?

Who is the lady with Monsieur Baroque?

Grand Duchess Alix.
Refugee from Imperial Russia.


Mr Ward... I think I think
you've come to the right man.


In fact, I'm going to congratulate you.

On what?

You have some capital, haven't you?

Oh, have I.

And you have thousands
of ostrich feathers?

Oh, you are telling me?

How would you like me to put
ostrich feathers across for you?


How would you like me to make the
world of fashion so feather-conscious...

That every well-dressed
woman in Paris...

Will be dripping, floating,
foaming with ostrich feathers?

If you can do that Mr Nash, it would
be worth fifty thousand dollars to you.

- Will you give me that in writing?
- Absolutely.

But how are you going to do it?

- I just told you I had second sight, didn't I?
- Yes.

Leave it all to me.

What's this?

Oh well thank you very much,
Mr Ward. That's very generous of you.

But I insist that the next time,
I be permitted to buy the drinks.

Oh yes.

But I don't know this man. Who is he?

I couldn't say, Your Highness. The same
gentleman who's phoned all the morning.

What does he want?

I don't know, Your Highness. But he
insists upon seeing you personally.

Very well... show him in.

You wish to see me, Monsieur?

Yes... may I be seated?

May I be permitted to say...

That the reports are not exaggerated.

What reports?

That you are the most beautiful,
the most gracious...

The best dressed woman in Paris.

You come to pay me
compliments, Monsieur?

Ah no, I came on business.

The compliments...

Who could resist offering them?

Your Highness.

I plan to produce a revue.

The most spectacular revue
that Paris has ever seen.

How does that concern me, Monsieur?

Ah, it concerns you intimately.

This is to be a review
glorifying Parisian fashion.

Your Highness, I plan
to make you the star in it.

I am not amused, Monsieur.

Please be good enough to retire.

I have only just begun.

Your Highness, I have an Idea
for an ostrich feather number.

If you do not leave at once, Monsieur...

I shall ring for my butler.

But this number Your Highness
will simply knock you eye out.

How dare you!

Come on now, Mabel. Be yourself.

Well, well, well.

How are things back in Hoboken?

And I thought I was
getting away with it.

Well I must admit the peroxide
had me fooled for a little bit, but...

Mabel, I never forget a personality.

You rang, Your Highness?


You may serve cocktails.

Well, Your Highness,
what's the low-down?

Ha. No kidding, Sherry.
I didn't think you'd remember me.

- No?
- Gee, It must be all of...

Five or six years ago.

Hmm. It's eleven, to be exact.

Don't be vulgar.

Eleven years ago I was
still in finishing school.

Aha. And I was a boy scout.

Oh yeah. Ha.

What good deed might
you be doing in Paris?

I just told you.
I'm going to put on a revue.

- And you are going to star in it.
- Ha.

- Not a chance.
- Why not?

Oh. Afraid of His Nibs, huh?

Say, I've got to hand it
to that bird. He's smart.

The Grand Duchess Alix.
That's marvelous.

He's put you across in Paris
like a real showman.

He's put me across? Ha.

I've put myself across.

He thinks I'm on the level.

- He does?
- Certainly.

Well, well, well.

That is practically perfect.

What's this?

That is your contract
to star in my revue.

Don't be ridiculous, Sherry.
I won't sign this.

Oh, I think you will.


Your Highness, Mr Baroque telephoned
to say he'll be here in half an hour.

Thank you.

Sherry, he'd kill me if I signed it.

No he won't. Well, let him
design the costumes.

He won't do it.

Of course he will. You will make him.

The best-dressed woman in Paris.

The greatest revue in a generation.
The triumph of the ostrich feather.

The great Baroque.

- But what if I can't persuade him?
- Listen, dearie.

You sold him the idea you were
a Grand Duchess, didn't you?

You're just a piker, Ward.

Why didn't you tell me
10,000 was your limit?

For $10,000 you couldn't
put on a flea circus.

But I don't want to put on a flea
circus. I want to sell ostrich plumes.

Didn't you say that there was $50,000 in
it for me if I put your feathers across?

Yes I did, but you
got to sell them first.

My dear Joe.

Can't you see this revue is precisely
the thing that's going to sell them?

- Millions of them.
- Yeah? Ten is my limit.

Mr Baroque on the phone.

Excuse me just a moment, please.

Take care of Joe.

Hello? Monsieur Nash?

I would like to see you
regarding this revue.

In which you propose to present
the Grand Duchess at.

Monsieur Baroque... it will be a
pleasure and a privilege to meet you.

Of course I am pretty busy, but I will
gladly put aside my other engagements.

I am sure if could see
you for a few moments...

We could arrange matters
to the satisfaction of...

Both of us.

Quite right.

Au revoir.

Practically signed up.

Don't be crude.

Ha ha ha.


Monsieur Baroque and the
Duchess will be here in ten minutes.

Now we've got to
put on the dog for this.

Then you don't need me.

- On the contrary, Senator.
- Senator?

You are Senator Ward.
You are financing this show.

Oh no I'm not. No, no...

Don't worry about that.

Just sit still and look like a Senator.

Bonjour, Monsieur.


Won't you be seated?

They are here. Here is his card.


There you are... Senator.


Take a letter.

Just a minute.


Yes, Monsieur Savarin, I'll be...

I'll be delighted.

Yes, the contracts are all ready.

They are just awaiting your
signature, Monsieur Savarin.

Mr Nash will see you now.
Will you step in, please.

Oh yes, yes.

I'll be expecting you, Mr Savarin.

Au revoir.


Monsieur Baroque.

- I'm charmed.
- Enchanté.

Your Highness.

That will be all, Miss Lynn.

Your Highness, Monsieur Baroque.

Allow me to present Senator Ward.

Senator... the Grand Duchess Alix.

Monsieur Baroque.

In America, the Senator is known
as the ostrich feather king.

What a dumbbell Sherry is.

But what a showman.

What does he want to go
into show business for...

Just as our sketches are beginning
to catch on in New York.

Oh that's only chickenfeed
compared to this racket.

Get a load of that Duchess.

- Isn't she a honey?
- Yeah, sweet.

Uhuh... catty, catty.

Why of all people, Savarin?

He is no artist, he has no soul.

Well, Senator Ward insists upon Savarin.

Don't you, Senator?

I say: don't you, Senator?

Why don't I what?

The Senator is just a
little hard of hearing.

You see Monsieur Baroque, Senator
Ward is my partner in this revue.

And of course, his is
always the last word.


I am willing to buy out Senator
Ward's interest in the revue.

Well I... I hardly think the
Senator would consider that.

Oh but I would not be happy unless
Mr Baroque designed my costumes.

Would I, Oscar?

Senator Ward.

What would you want for your interest?

Well the Senator's interest
amounts to $75,000.

Would you sell for that?

What's the matter, you think I'm deaf?

We're in the bag, we're in the bag.

- And who will be left holding it?
- What's the matter, honey?

I do wish he'd stick to
one racket at a time.

Or one girl, huh?

To whom shall I make this check pay out?

To cash.



I handle all the finances
for Senator Ward.

And myself.


Thank you, Mr Baroque.

On behalf of the Senator.

You know, if I may say so, I think
we're all to be congratulated.

Absolutely. Monsieur Nash.

If you will give me the honor of your
charming society at luncheon tomorrow...

- We will discuss the necessary details.
- I shall be delighted.

I'm sure our revue will
have a grand success.

Her Highness's charm and
reputation guarantee that.

- Au revoir.
- Au revoir.

- A demain.
- Au revoir, Monsieur.

Well, Senator. Didn't I tell you?

- We're in the money.
- Yeah, well how about my cut?

Oh my dear Joe.

- This money goes right into the show.
- Yeah I know, but...

You know, this show will cause
such a craze for ostrich feathers...

That your ostriches will have to
work day and night. Double shifts.

Then I'd better cable California and
buy some more ostrich roosters.

Oh Snap, just take care of the Senator.

Congratulations, Sherry.
You're just as smooth as ever.


Just as smooth as ever.


Oh... baby.

It worked.

So I see.

Well, what's the matter, honey?
Aren't you pleased?

We stand to make a fortune out of this.
You can't tell where we'll end.

Oh, I know where we'll end.

I don't see why you
don't have faith in me.

Well, look in the mirror and see.

How about a little relaxez-vous?

Senator. Are you ready
for a still picture?

Just a moment, now. Just a moment.

What the...?

There you are.

Hold it... still.


Fine. Now let's get one with Nash.

That's the second act finale.

I practically wrote it for you.

Suppose you say the rest with the music.

Come on. Do a Helen Morgan.

Sit there and inspire me.


Oh Mr Nash, I've been looking for you.

- Oh yes?
- What do you think of that?


What do you think of
that for a fan, huh?

- A fan?
- Yeah.

Why that is a complete costume.

- Snap.
- You're right, governor.


Too bad you don't get along better
with our young American composer.

Oh, Jimmy is a darling.
Don't you like him?

My passion for him
is well under control.

Mr Nash, Peter is looking for you.

I'll be right there.

- Are you lunching with me today?
- If you like.


Do go and see if my second act
costume is ready for fitting, yes?

Tout de suite.

- Ah, bonjour Monsieur.
- Bonjour Monsieur.

Your Highness.

I say, that's not bad.

Not bad? C'est magnifique.

- Oh Sherry.
- Yes?

The Duchess, she wants help.

Ah... Your Highness.

At your service.


I beg your pardon.

Say, what is this Lynn
girl to you anyway?

Now don't you start. I'm having
enough trouble explaining you to her.

Oh! You!

Say Lynn, how about
having lunch with me?

No thanks Jimmy, not today.

You got other plans?

Oh I forgot. You're still carrying
a torch for that Nash aren't you.

Listen, Lynn. I'm crazy about you.

- Why don't you forget that worthless...
- No account.

- Double-crossing...
- Lying...

- Two timing...
- Chiselling...

- Unscrupulous...
- Unfaithful...

- Son of a...
- So and so. It's no use, Jimmy.

I can top every adjective
you can give me.

I see. It's a case of...

Oh my man, I love him so.
He'll never go.

Oh, stop it!

Quick, quick! My next change.

Oh baby, baby.

Just in time to congratulate you.

No kidding, Sherry. How was I?
Did they like me?

Like you? Listen to them. If you're half
as good in the second act as the first.

Well Duchess, they'll make a Queen.


You want to make as much
money as possible, do you not?

I certainly do.

Now, you and I Senator can
rule the ostrich feather world.

No use. I'm tied up with Nash.

What is tied can be untied by a
clever lawyer. I have an attorney.

Yes, but I gave him
an option. He can sue.

A scrap of paper.

I can do more for you than this Nash.

We will have my lawyer void the option.

At the worst, he can only sue us.
What else can he do?


You'll be surprised.

Ladies and gentlemen.

All the charm, all the glamour
you've seen this evening.

Was presented, executed and designed...

By the energy, the enthusiasm
and the genius of one man.

Mr Sherwood Nash.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I've always been told that
when good Americans die...

They don't go to heaven.

They go to Paris.

Smart Americans don't
wait until they die.

They don't want to take any chances.

My friends.

Tonight you have seen more
than the première of a revue.

You have seen the birth of an idea.

I am not content.

Merely to give you fashion
over the footlights.

I want to bring it to
you into your home.

It is my plan therefore.

To establish here in your great city.

An institution dedicated to
the highest ideals of fashion.

A temple of creative art.

Where I may offer for your approval.

The most advance
conceptions in modern style.

This establishment I shall call...

Maison Elegance.

Where I trust.

I shall continue to have
the pleasure of catering...

To your discrimination and taste.

It is my further hope.

That Maison Elegance.

Will prove a worthy successor.

To the house of Oscar Baroque.

Your reigning King of fashion.

Who I learn... is about abdicate.

I thank you.

- Alright?
- Governor, you wowed them.

We'll put that guy on ice.


Why you crook! What does this mean?

Oscar, I told you you'd be surprised.

What about your contract with me?

What is tied can be untied.

You cannot break this contract.

A contract? A piece of paper.

You cannot bluff me. I am not to be
taken in. I am the King of fashion.

Well for your information, Oscar.

A King can always be taken by an Ace.

But they are beautiful. Tell me, does it
hurt the ostrich when they are plucked?

Madame, our patented plucking
process is practically painless.

Monsieur Nash, tell me.
I am so interested.

Do you supervise all details of this?

Even to the page girls' costumes?

Oh yes, I take care of everything,
from the bottom up.

- How do you do.
- Monsieur Nash.

- Yes.
- I want you to do my entire trousseau.

Bridal gown, going-away dress, lingerie.

You handle lingerie don't you?

Oh yes, I take care of that personally.

Ah, thank you.

You serve the most delicious caviar.

Yes, it comes from contented sturgeons.

- Monsieur Nash.
- Yes?

This is all very beautiful.
But where are the dresses?

Ah, Madame. Have patience.

My creations are like jewels.

They require the proper setting.

Monsieur, Monsieur.
Madame has just arrived.

Sherry, it is late. You can't keep
those people waiting here all day.

Don't worry baby. As long
as it is food, they'll wait.

Governor... here she is.

The Grand Duchess, Alix.

You're late, Duchess.

If Baroque discovers I've been
here, I'll be the late Duchess.

How do you do.

I regret we haven't been
able to please you, Madam.

They have nothing. We'll go
over to the Maison Elegance.

Mesdames, Messieurs.

We are all suffering at the hands
of this unscrupulous American.

Your showroom, Savarin.

And yours Madame DeVrille.

And yours and yours and yours.

Are as empty as mine.

What are we going to do about it?

My friends.

I have here cables from
my agents in New York.

Reports from my detectives in Paris.

Proving that this Nash is selling
forged sketches in New York.


Sketches signed "Baroque".

Signed "DeVrille".

Signed "Savarin".

- We must protect ourselves.
- Something must be done at once.

- Yes!
- Go to the police.

Monsieur Baroque, what shall we do?

I am glad to see that in this crisis
we cease to be competitors.

We must unite to drive this
thief out of our country.


Here is my plan to get rid of Nash.

We must get that shipment of feathers
through the customs right away.

- When did the boat dock?
- Yesterday morning, but there's a hitch.

Why don't you drive down to the Customs
House yourself and unhitch them?

We're up to our eyes in orders.

And cable California to step up
production. We're way behind.

I've got 50,000 eggs all ready to hatch.

Well women don't wear eggs.
They wear feathers.

But you can't hurry
mother nature, Mr Nash.

No, I suppose not.

Say, I've got it.

Women buy unborn baby
lamb for furs, don't they?


We'll ship the eggs over here and
sell them unborn baby ostrich.

That's great, great.

- On your way, Senator.
- Just as soon as I have a drop of luck.

Now, are you going to do it?
Tell me, what time will you be there?

I didn't quite get that, honey.

What time, Cheri?


You're right, governor.


Something I forgot.

Don't you see, Lynn? You simply have to
make up your mind as I'm going away.

- You're leaving the show?
- Yes, I'm going to Berlin.

Won't you come with me?

I'm asking you to marry me.

I don't know, Jimmy.

Don't be such a little fool.
You know Nash will never marry you.

How can you go on believing in him?

He said he'd quit after the show didn't
he? Look at this. He'll never quit.

- He'll drag you from one racket to another.
- Oh Jimmy, will you please stop this.

He's just using you. You do all the work
while he fools around with the Duchess.

I see.

Dirty work, huh?

I must see you alone at once.

Yes, something very important.

Can't you tell me over the phone?


I'll be here.

Au revoir.

I love you Lynn. I could make you happy.

Am I interrupting a sale?

I hope you heard what I was saying.

The lyrics are charming. You must
let me hear the music sometime.

I'm trying to persuade Lynn
to forget you and marry me.

If she's smart, that's probably
what she would do.

Did you hear that?

Sherry, do you mean that?

Do you really want me
to go away with him?

No baby, I don't.

But he'd probably make you
much happier than I would.

Darling, will you come with me?

Oh Jimmy, I don't know what to do.

You know when my train is.
Will you try and make up your mind?

Yes, I'll try.

Are you in love with him?

Jimmy is a grand person
and he's the soul of honor.

And I'm a heel?

- Don't be so funny.
- Baby.

I'll make you a promise.

I'm so tired of your promises.

But this one is different, honey.

I mean it.


Give me two more weeks
to wind this up and I'll quit.

I'll cash in and we'll
go back to America.

What about your titled girlfriend?

When in the first place,
she isn't my girlfriend.

And in the second place,
her title is phony.

What do you mean?

I mean that the Grand Duchess Alix
is plain Mabel McGuire of Hoboken.

I knew her there eleven
years ago. Oh... baby.

Your little finger.

Means more to me than all the
Mabel McGuires or Grand Duchesses...

In all of Europe.

But you made love to her.

Well maybe I did.
I had to kid her along.

But on the level honey, she
doesn't mean a thing to me.

Well, I think you're lying
but you do it so beautifully.


Oh, hello.

We were just talking about you.
Don't go, baby.

Well, Duchess.

What was it you had to tell me?


But over the phone, you said...

I say now... nuts.



There is two mugs out
there that want to see you.

Let them wait.

No. They won't wait... they're Cops.

Let them in.

Ah, bonjour Monsieur.

Won't you sit down.

Have a smoke.

This is no social visit, Monsieur.

I am from the Prefect Of Police.


You are charged Monsieur, with forgery.

Fraud, petty larceny and grand larceny.

Under paragraph 5, article 17 of the
criminal code of the Republic of France.

It is my duty to arrest you.

Who brings these charges?

As you will see.

Oscar Baroque. Oh.

On behalf of the Associated Couturiers
Protective Alliance of Paris. Well.

That's ducky.


Monsieur, could I have a few
moments with my secretary?


Oh, I'll not try to escape.

If Monsieur will give
me his word of honor.

By all means, Monsieur.

I told you this would happen.

- You promised me you would quit.
- Baby, it's okay. I'll get out of this.

I don't care whether you do or not.

I'm through.

But honey, it's very simple.

All I've got to do is find the Duchess.

Then tell it to the Duchess.
I'm going to Berlin with Jimmy tonight.

But wait a minute, baby.
You can't do this.

- You love me.
- No, I don't.

I don't.


If you give me just half an hour...

I'm quite sure this little
misunderstanding can be settled.

By all means, Monsieur.

But we will have to go with
you wherever you go.

Monsieur, it's a pleasure. Come on.

- I must see you. Just a moment, Mr Nash.
- Some other time, Senator.

- About those feathers.
- We'll get together again.

But they are all diseased.


Yeah. The entire cargo was confiscated
by the French Board of Health.

They are all condemned.

- When did you hear this?
- Just now.

- You haven't heard a thing. Get me?
- Yeah.

So nice to see you all. Just lovely.

All my darlings.

Monsieur Nash.

Ah, I see I'm just in time
to congratulate you.

- How dare you come here.
- Oh, I'm leaving in a moment.

Just as soon as you tell this gentleman
that there's been a little mistake.

There has been no mistake.

I swore out the complaint myself.

Don't you think there has been
a little mistake, precious?

Sir, you will address Her
Highness by her correct title.

Would you really like me to do that?

Perhaps you have been
a little hasty, darling.

No, I have delayed too long.

Take him away.

Just a moment.

Monsieur Baroque, I have something to
tell you. Something rather personal.

If you'll take a tip from me,
you'll listen to it.

In private.

- Monsieur!
- Oscar.

Why did you bring him here?

He asked if he might drop in for
a moment on his way to jail.

Sherry... are you going to
spill the beans about me?

Not if you call your husband off.

But I can't. He's determined
to put you behind bars.

But I don't like it behind bars. I'm
sorry Mabel, but it's my only weapon.

What about me?

Listen, baby.

The wedding is over. You've got
him haven't you? He's hooked.

- What can happen to you?
- He could have the marriage annulled.

What, and be the
laughing stock of Paris?

Oh no.

Well, what have you to say?

Monsieur Baroque.

Before they drag me off to the Bastille,
I'd like to tell you a little story.

And let you decide whether
or not I shall tell it to the press.

This is a story of someone
very near and dear to you.



Years ago, in the lovely
American city of Hoboken.

There was born to Mr and
Mrs Elmer McGuire...

A beautiful, bonny little baby girl.

Whom they named "Mabel".

This does not mean anything to me.

Oh, you're not interested
in little Mabel?

Now let's see.

Would you by any chance be
interested in birthmarks?

- Birthmarks?
- Yes.

Birthmarks. Mabel had one. Yes indeed.

She had the cutest
little strawberry mark.

In the most unusual and
interesting location.

What proof have you of this?

Aside from the strawberry mark? Well...

There is Elmer McGuire, her father.

As able and conscientious a
bootlegger as ever faked a gin label.

I'm sure he'd be able to identify her.

Is this true?

But darling.

You swore it was me
you loved. Not my title.

- You have tricked me! You're an imposter.
- Oh pipe down.

Quit yelling, you cheap
little dressmaker.

You are a fraud.

- You tricked me into marriage.
- Tricked you?

Who wanted this marriage in the first
place? You know, you're no bargain.

You begged and pleaded. Why?

- So I'll bring customers into your shop.
- I'll have you put in prison.

- Maybe we'll get adjoining cells.
- Go ahead.

Just try to put me in jail.
Just you try.

Oh boy! I can spill more dirt about you
and some of your pretty little habits...

- You are shameless!
- Go ahead. I'm all for it.

They haven't had a good laugh in Paris
for years. Let's give them a break.

"Madame Baroque tells all."

"The love life of a dressmaker."

- That would ruin me.
- You said a mouthful.

But Monsieur, no-one need know.

It was my very good fortune to
meet Her Highness years ago, but...

I am the soul of discretion.

Monsieur, I cannot wait any longer.
I must take the defendant.

Monsieur Baroque, don't you think now
that there has been a little mistake?

I will withdraw the charges.


That's that.


What is this?

This is a contract to
purchase Maison Elegance.

The most flourishing business in Paris.

Send a porter up for my things will you.

And call a taxi.

Yes. For the Berlin Express.

Alright, Tibby.

Now we're ready to go.


Merci, Monsieur.

This includes everything.

Business, goodwill, fixtures
and of course the feathers.

Including the last big shipment.

Oh yes, indeed. All the feathers.

I... regret that I can't remain
for your charming reception.

Monsieur, in America it is the custom
of good friends... to kiss the bride.

In France, I understand
they also kiss the groom.

Au revoir, Monsieur. Your Highness.

Bon fortune.

- But that's not my bag.
- No baby, that's mine.

Why, I thought you were in jail.

- What are you doing here?
- Taking you to the boat.

No you're not. I'm going
to Berlin with Jimmy.

- You're going to American with me.
- Well, I'm not.

Oh yes you are. Look, baby.

I've sold the business.


Now that you've wriggled out of this,
you've got to make me a promise.

No more of your crazy schemes.

Honey, absolutely.
From now on, you're the Captain.

Mr Nash.

- Mr Nash?
- Yes?

Would you mind looking into this box?

What do you see?

- Looks like a lot of worms.
- Exactly.

Mr Nash, I have the most
wonderful proposition for you.

For years I have experimented
and at last I have succeeded.

I have succeeded in crossing
silkworms with glow-worms...

To make luminous evening dresses.

Well... gee, that's an idea.

Mr Nash, we can make old fabrics
glow like so many neon lights.

And you are the only man
in the world, Mr Nash...

Who can put over this
marvelous discovery.

Think of the possibilities, Mr Nash.

Women's dresses glowing, scintillating.

Indoors, outdoors,
picnics, parties, balls.

We don't have to stop at dresses.

Why that's right.

We could make lingerie,
pyjamas, night dresses.

Of course. Are you a
married man, Mr Nash?

Wouldn't you like to see your
wife glowing in the darkness?

My worms! My worms!

My worms! My worms!

My worms.


Do you know what you've done?
Do you see what you've thrown away?

Yes, I know. A chance to
make a million dollars.

I get you, Captain.


Right, governor.

* steve d *