Fantastic Night (1942) - full transcript
Denis is distracted: he's studying all day for philosophy exams and working all night at the flower market; plus, whenever he closes his eyes, he dreams of a mysterious woman in white. His girlfriend Nina is annoyed at him for his inattention, so she steps out behind his back with a friend of his. One night, while napping at the flower mart, he pursues the mystery woman in what he thinks is a dream, and finds himself with her in a restaurant with her father and her fiancé, then on to a magic shop, the Louvre, a nightclub, and a mental asylum. During the night, he discovers a plot against her, and still believing it's a dream, goes to great lengths to try to save her.
What, were you asleep?
I'm sorry.
You've got your system down:
Let the others work while you sleep.
Bravo!
I didn't mean to.
It just came over me.
Oh, yeah?
You're just lazy.
You heard me!
Honest. I couldn't help it.
You heard me!
Here, give me a hand.
- You're so delicate.
- I'm terribly sorry.
How you talk.
If you weren't so nice-looking--
You should find some way to relax.
Don't yawn.
I can't take it.
I don't get enough sleep.
- So saw some logs during the day.
- I work in the afternoon too.
- Don't. They're mine.
- Take them, then.
Come on, let's get to it!
Come on.
Give me a hand.
I don't know how to thank you.
You're very kind.
How you talk.
Like a dictionary.
What's your real work?
Now you've got me doing it.
Give me a cigarette!
And a light.
There's the bell.
Keep it.
See you tonight.
Hello, my friend.
You're early this morning, Denis.
Going to the wedding?
Not too tired?
I'll reminisce about the youth
I never had.
What a shame. Youth--
I'd trade my shop for it.
How about trading me
a cup of coffee instead?
Don't mind me, Boris.
Denis!
Put that money back.
Where you got it.
Lock the drawer.
Give me the key.
Close the wardrobe door too.
The key.
Denis, I'm sorry.
I'm a miserable sinner...
a pitiful wretch.
Be quiet, Boris.
Despise me, Denis.
Please, despise me.
For my sake!
Get up!
I shall stay at your feet
till I die.
I will get up only to die.
That's great.
Come on, get up!
As you wish.
I'll be punished for it, but I'll obey.
Pretty flowers.
Don't touch! They're fragile.
So last month it was you too?
Yes, I stole your rent money,
your pajamas, shoes, ties...
and electric iron.
Spit in my face!
For two weeks
I've been killing myself...
working all night
at the market.
I've no excuse.
I'm a dirty dog!
I know you're killing yourself
to pay room and board till exams.
If you flunk, it will be my fault.
Bring me a vase for these flowers.
Right away.
- Boris!
- Nina! What are you doing here?
I have a modeling session. I stopped by
to see if Denis was feeling better.
Don't go see him.
You look upset.
Poor chap.
Why? Does he know about--
No, he doesn't know about us.
Then what's wrong?
Are you having second thoughts?
No, but I feel guilty.
Is it eating you?
To deceive a friend--
How shameful!
And just how should I feel?
I'm his girlfriend!
They're all the same.
Women troubles.
Makes me wonder. Women!
It's all in your head.
You're right-- I am a wretch.
I preferred your shame to my death.
At least I have a conscience.
My conscience bothers me, so I've done
my penance. How convenient.
You know how to deal
with everyone--
your conscience,
your landlord-- everybody!
- Remember what you owe me.
- Sure, sure.
- How is he?
- Who?
Your victim.
Sure-- Denis.
He's sleeping.
You were wrong to cheat on him.
He deserved better.
A guy who's always tired
ought to rest.
Put yourself in my place.
He's always sleeping:
standing up, lying down--
While I count the tiles in the floor!
He pays no attention to me.
Even when he kisses me,
he's thinking of something else...
just as if I wasn't there.
If he weren't so shy,
I'd think he was cheating on me too.
But he's not even doing that!
So it's his tough luck if we--
Sure. Forget that wet blanket.
Pick me up at the clinic at 7:00.
Don't kiss me like that.
It makes me dizzy.
If you want to sleep,
why don't you go to bed?
I wasn't sleeping, Lucien.
Really?
I was dreaming.
What's the difference?
There's a huge difference,
my dear doctor.
If I slept, I'd wake up rested,
but I'm exhausted.
You're having dreams?
Must be your liver.
I'm really tired!
You look worn out.
I haven't slept in 24 hours.
My essay on Marguerite of Navarre
has to be finished tonight.
And I've still got all this to do!
You're really not doing well.
You've got a fever.
It's got nothing to do with a fever.
Listen to me, Lucien.
For three weeks now,
every time I doze off...
I have the exact same dream...
in which an amazingly
beautiful woman floats by.
She appears,
only to run away from me.
I follow her white silhouette...
through amazing landscapes.
But she always escapes from me
with impish skill.
She becomes a starfish,
a rainbow...
a light, a laugh,
a bunch of flowers.
Stay still!
Don't touch that!
What's gotten into you?
Lie down! You'll feel better.
It won't make any difference--
I'm fine.
Nothing strange
in what ails you.
Everyone has a favorite dream.
Favorite dream?
But I didn't choose this one.
It chose me.
The job is not very difficult.
But it is very risky.
Perhaps, but it's very well paid.
You're an intelligent woman.
Asleep, I pursue my dream.
Awake, it pursues me.
It's a kind of obsession.
- Who will cure me?
- You yourself.
- I'd like to know how.
- Nina can help you.
Don't talk to me about her.
She's so sweet, so loving...
- and I'm unfaithful to her.
- You are?
Of course-- in my dream!
See you later.
To have a dream spoil one's life!
How ironic!
Don't tell me you're in love
with this illusion.
- I am.
- What about Nina?
She doesn't know about it yet.
I'll tell her the truth.
You can't. You have no willpower
when it comes to women.
You're right, and it causes me
enough grief already.
I'd like to be cured of it.
- But I must tell Nina the truth.
- What truth?
That I love someone else
and we must break up.
You're leaving Nina
for this dream woman?
But I can't have two sweethearts.
But one of them doesn't exist!
She exists because I love her.
There you are!
May I intrude?
By all means.
- Thank you.
- Listen--
One slap, coming up!
What's wrong?
For a week now
you haven't even known I exist.
My charms aren't meant
to be wasted.
- This is the ultimate insult!
- What do you mean, ultimate?
I call ignoring me the ultimate insult.
That's how I see it!
- Nina, be nice.
- That's all I've done, is be nice.
Tell him you're sorry.
Never mind. It's nothing.
What? It's nothing?
- Don't start again!
- But she's right.
- See? I'm right.
- Yes, Nina's right.
You should know the whole truth.
Nina, you and I-- That is--
- You explain it to her.
- Explain what?
That she needn't feel humiliated...
that I love someone else.
What are you talking about?
He's going to explain.
You love someone else?
Who is she?
This changes everything.
I'll tell her a thing or two.
But you can't.
Can't I? Why not?
- Because she doesn't exist.
- You take me for an idiot?
No, Nina. She doesn't exist.
She's the reason I sleep so much.
- What?
- It's true.
- What's this woman like?
- I don't know.
- Brunette? Blonde? Redhead?
- I don't know.
Tall? Short?
What does she look like?
- I've never seen her.
- You've never seen her.
Hey, Adelbert!
You prefer a shadow to me--
I who never hid a thing from you.
The man's in love
with a question mark!
- You won't see this woman again!
- Is that so?
- I'll keep you from seeing her.
- How?
I won't let you sleep.
- How about roast beef?
- That's fine.
I'll lock myself in.
I want to sleep!
I'll get into your dream.
You can't just waltz into my dreams.
It's not a free show!
We'll see about that!
You can't compete
with a shadow!
Shadow, my foot.
I'll show her a shadow!
- Take it easy.
- I am taking it easy!
Still water. That's me!
But watch out when still water
starts to boil!
That child has
some colorful expressions!
Lucien, can you lend me a quarter?
Better than that--
come and have dinner with us.
Since my presence seems to be
so sought after...
I'll have roast beef.
I've followed your little exchange
with great interest.
I, too, have loved
imaginary women.
They are my fondest memory.
And now that I'm blind...
I must use my imagination
for even the most real of women.
It's not bad.
I get to imagine them as I like.
Let me have a cigarette.
Where did I put them?
Right-hand pocket of your jacket.
He's right!
It was in losing my sight
that I became a seer.
Very strange.
If you should ever have need
of my special talents...
I live at 13 Lovers' Lane.
Funny. And here I thought
you slept out under the stars.
No, no, the building belongs to me.
I made myself a present of it.
Just a whim.
Did you hear that?
I'm talking to you!
Where have you gone?
- Off with your shadow again?
- Calm down.
You don't want me
to get near your specter, huh?
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing!
Phantom or not,
I'll take care of her.
Hate to break up your charming romance,
but you'll be late for the market.
I'm on my way.
They're all crazy about me there.
Stop chatting.
Go find your buddies.
You get here just in time
to take a break.
Come have a drink.
No, thanks.
Well, I better get going.
What's wrong with him?
He's never thirsty.
You ought to see a doctor.
Look at him.
He always gets here late
and wants to chat on top of it.
Mademoiselle, please.
Let me see your face.
Now that I've seen your face,
don't take it away.
You'll come with me
to the end of my dream?
It's not far.
At the break of day.
Irene.
You're always late.
You're desirable enough as it is--
no need to keep us waiting.
You?
Sit down.
Here.
Our last-minute guest.
Don't be embarrassed
by your clothes.
They're in their working clothes too.
Dear Lord, don't let me wake up.
Don't let me wake up!
Three dozen oysters
and another bottle.
You'll have something with us,
won't you, sir?
Nothing, thanks.
I'm just a bit thirsty.
A glass for the gentleman.
Where were you
at this late hour?
It's not proper.
Don't ask me questions--
I won't answer.
What's the matter?
You should be happy.
This is the last evening
you'll spend with your fianc?...
because tomorrow
he'll no longer be your fianc?...
but your husband.
The end of my life as a young girl,
and you want me to be happy?
Look.
They're happy too.
My daughter must seem
a bit strange.
I'm a stranger...
an unknown person...
an enigma...
and this pitiful cadet whose wife
I will be doesn't know me at all!
You exaggerate.
He only knows my face,
the poor thing.
He's marrying my appearance.
I'll wear black at my wedding.
Irene...
you're upsetting me.
Black, I tell you.
I'll be mourning
my stillborn springtimes.
Farewell, lilies of the valley.
Mademoiselle is dead.
Long live Madam.
But will I get married?
It takes two to get married.
That's right: two.
And this poor cadet is alone.
Alone.
Sad wives...
make joyous widows.
What did you give her to drink?
Me? Why, nothing!
Where did you meet her?
In my dream, just like you.
How long have you known her?
My dear white silhouette...
he asks how long I've known you.
Do you see one another often?
Every time I close my eyes.
Very strange.
I've spent every night with her
for the past month.
- What?
- You heard me.
I finally meet her, only to learn
she's to marry a cardboard cutout.
You've been drinking, sir!
Yes, sir! To your health,
by God's grace.
Mademoiselle?
Yes, you!
Don't keep me waiting, miss.
Pretty girl, isn't she?
Not quite my type.
Bring me a tomato Trocadero...
and a flycatcher with oil dressing.
I love cannibal,
but with a slice of lemon.
I prefer it with a slice off the tee.
This phone!
This isn't Maintenon,
this is Richelieu speaking.
Why, tear out his left eye
with a corkscrew, as usual.
Of course. Good-bye.
Forgive me, but I must be going.
The commissioner has a headache.
See you later.
My daughter is insane.
I hope this condition
is only temporary.
Allow me to introduce myself:
Professor Thales.
Pleased to meet you.
- Cadet Brochard, my assistant.
- Pleased to meet you.
And I'm... me!
Please do me a favor, sir.
My assistant and I must leave
for an important engagement...
that I can neither suspend
nor delay.
Please find my daughter
and give her this note.
Poor cadet.
Here you are. I dare say
she's not as crazy as she seems.
"Academy Of Magic
Professor Thales -- White Magic"
"My poor child.
Please calm yourself.
This marriage is heaven-sent
for you.
I'm counting on you this evening.
P.S. And don't forget your head."
I must be sleeping like a log.
Academy of Magic
Does the commissioner
still have his headache?
Don't be silly.
How did you get here?
I'm supposed to give you this.
Very well.
The P.S. is a bit odd,
but it's not my fault.
And that's the least unusual part
of the note.
My father is crazy.
Why, naturally!
Of course, you take me
for a lunatic.
I take you as you please,
with or without your senses.
You should know I was putting on
an act at the restaurant.
Did you get a good look
at my fianc?'s face?
What did you think?
Personally, I like yours better.
Thank you.
May I ask a question?
Why are you marrying him?
But will I marry him?
One doesn't marry a crazy person.
That's why I acted like a mad woman,
and I had you as a witness.
- So I was a witness?
- You witnessed my delirium.
Why not tell your father
you won't marry that--
My father plays on my gratitude,
my affection.
I gave in.
But at the last minute,
I rebelled.
You love your father very much?
Yes.
And yet...
he treats me more
and more strangely...
as what he calls
the fateful date approaches.
- The fateful date?
- When I come of age.
I'll be 21 tomorrow at 9:00.
- He can't bear the idea.
- Strange.
His mind is more deranged
every day.
He thinks I'm crazy.
So everything's just fine.
I've led you
into a strange adventure...
haven't I?
- Are you sorry you followed me?
- Not at all.
Nothing surprises me.
Everything's possible.
- What's your name?
- Irene.
I'm Denis.
By the way,
don't forget your head.
Thank you. I'd forgotten.
Where was my head?
- That's amazing!
- What's wrong?
Nothing.
What's more natural
than to have a spare head?
It's not a bother at all.
Since you have two,
give me one.
- What for?
- To worship.
I prefer to carry it.
If you lost it--
I never lose my head.
Or at least not other people's.
- Will you be staying?
- Are you going to meet your father?
Yes. Why?
- After what has happened?
- Yes. He expects me.
I can't make him miss
such an important performance.
All right. Let's go.
What do you mean, let's go?
I'm going with you.
No. Say good-bye like a good boy.
No, Irene.
You're in my dream,
not the other way around. I decide.
- What?
- Nothing.
You need my arm to defend you,
my strength to protect you.
I can handle any danger
that might threaten you.
Come to think of it...
why not?
It's your size.
- Go get dressed.
- I hate formal functions.
You must dress where we're going.
I'm going to dress as well.
- Pick it up.
- Pick it up?
You can get dressed
in that little closet.
You'll find various sizes
of shoes in there.
I only need one size.
Both my feet are the same.
- What am I dropping?
- Cards.
That suit is a little tricky.
It will fit like a glove.
Personally, I'd prefer
it fit like a suit.
Prince Charming, in person!
- The hat's not exactly right.
- Take your pick.
Perhaps this one.
What a couple!
- Too bad.
- Too bad what?
Too bad you aren't
flesh and blood.
Come along if you like...
but spare me your sweet nothings.
Defend me, protect me...
especially against yourself.
I'll defend you a little,
a lot, passionately, wildly.
- Where are we going?
- To the Louvre.
- At this hour?
- What's so surprising?
Nothing.
Genius knows no working hours.
What are you doing?
One never knows, sweetheart.
Taxi.
An ambulance? What for?
Perhaps some old painting
has fainted.
Follow me-- at a distance.
I'll drift along in your wake.
What's he doing with that hat?
It's impossible! He's dreaming.
Pleased to meet--
I understand perfectly!
Understand what?
Clever way of introducing yourself...
but I'd already guessed.
Come with me.
The stage is this way.
Excuse me. Who are you?
The curator.
Here is our little makeshift theater.
You have plenty of time
to organize your show.
Please, I'm waiting.
- May I?
- Please hurry.
Trust me.
We'll have her kidnapped.
The problem will be solved.
What do we risk?
Five years.
A kidnapping
is a disappearing act...
and I'm a magician.
See how fate arranges everything.
The curator is letting us use...
this trapdoor.
He said it belonged
to Queen Margot.
Good old Margot!
She's helping us out.
Let's see where this leads.
This kidnapping will
put an end to our troubles.
Poor child!
Here?
Yes, here.
Let's check our plan.
- I can't quite see--
- And yet everything's clear.
Either Irene goes quietly to city hall
or we have her locked up.
She showed signs of dementia
at the restaurant...
that, with a little embellishment,
could easily land her in an asylum.
Locking her up will be no problem.
For my part, I'd like to see her
part away, but it's too risky.
It's not risky at all!
She'll slide down the chute...
and come out here.
Her giddiness will make
our task easier.
Our two friends will appear.
Are you there?
Yes, boss.
She'll get a good scare
from seeing them.
With good reason.
Good evening.
Miss, allow me to introduce you...
to Dr. Tellier.
- Mademoiselle is the daughter--
- Of our magician. I know.
You are his prettiest,
most ravishing feat.
- I'm afraid it's not a difficult one.
- What do you mean?
To make someone appear
is nothing.
To make them disappear--
that's another matter.
If he made you disappear,
I would be very sorry.
Watch out for Dr. Tellier.
He's a distinguished psychiatrist.
All the women
are crazy about him.
You're giving me
a very dangerous reputation.
You deserve it.
Do you dance?
Yes, I dance.
Psychiatrists are very frivolous.
Well, shall we dance?
Wonderful child.
There must be a way
to stop this wedding.
- Can an insane person marry legally?
- If he's not recognized as such, yes.
- But if he is, then he can't?
- No.
Fate has sent you to me!
She will open this door.
What will she find?
The ambulance driver.
Please, get in, miss.
To the loony bin.
And a lovely one it is.
Come.
What loony bin
are you taking her to?
Stupid!
To Dr. Tellier's clinic.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm so sad.
Disappointed in love?
- He's leaving me.
- Who's leaving you?
Him.
A man I've known since 1795.
Since 1795?
Do you know why he's leaving me?
For Marie-Louise.
Napoleon did that to you?
It's the only way...
to overcome Irene's stubbornness.
I forgot the most important thing.
Give me back the book.
It's of no use to you anymore...
if Irene decides to marry you.
Not much chance of that.
Ladies and gentlemen...
please take your seats.
The renowned Professor Thales
will perform for you...
amazing feats of magic.
Did you hear that?
What are you doing here?
- What about you?
- What? I insist you leave.
- After you.
- I'm here in a professional capacity.
You mean, in a criminal capacity!
- Please, let us do our work.
- Yes, let us work.
Castoff! Leftover! Supernumerary!
I didn't ask your opinion.
I'm not in the habit of speaking
with hopeless losers.
Don't waste time answering him.
Get me my robe.
I advise you
to give up your plan...
if you wish to avoid
a very unpleasant surprise.
Here's Professor Thales...
in the flesh,
to perform his miracles!
Ladies and gentlemen...
I'm pleased
to make your acquaintance.
First, some amusing trinkets
for the ladies.
I leave because I choose to...
but who gave you the right
to turn my dream into a nightmare?
Here we have an empty box.
Absolutely empty!
Pigeons.
And now the trick
of the magic sarcophagi.
Here we have two sarcophagi.
No double back,
no secret openings.
Sarcophagi and nothing more.
In front of your very eyes...
I shall place
in one of the sarcophagi...
the lady brave enough
to trust me.
Then I'll pierce the sarcophagus
with a sword.
Is there a lady present
who will help us?
No one?
- Is there no one?
- Yes. I'll do it.
I commend
the young lady's heroism.
Irene, no!
This child isn't going
to be your guinea pig!
The crime--
What time is it?
The crime of ten minutes to midnight
will not take place.
Good act, isn't it?
The stooge is excellent.
Who are you, sir?
You swear you don't know me?
I swear!
- Never heard of me?
- Never!
I'm the fly in the ointment,
the uninvited guest.
Mademoiselle,
go back to your seat...
and stay away
from vampires' traps.
Absolutely not.
I'm not the kind who walks out.
The audience will decide.
Yes or no?
Shall I perform the miracle
of the sarcophagi?
Yes!
You insist on the assassination
of an irresponsible child?
- You need a victim.
- Yes!
- Finish tying her up.
- No, listen--
Please step into the sarcophagus.
And, now, ladies and gentlemen...
you see the second sarcophagus
is still empty.
Close the first sarcophagus.
Watch out, Irene!
What are you doing?
That's terrible!
Denis!
- Have you quite finished?
- No, I haven't!
And to these cruel, mad people,
I say--
Specter of spectators--
You've taken Irene!
Good-bye, then.
I'm going to find her.
Let me go!
There you are!
I was terribly worried.
Me too. Look!
Do you know those gentlemen?
Are they friends of yours?
We've seen the body of the lady.
Show us the body of the man.
I tell you once again:
It's impossible.
Go back to your crypts!
Mummies to the right,
mummies to the left.
How many of them are there?
- Boris?
- What?
Boris! But it's not surprising to find
people you know in your dreams.
- Are you free?
- Yes.
A taxi sent from heaven!
So you were saying,
I'm not the kind who walks out?
Do you think I would have interfered
if I hadn't overheard...
Dr. Thales' strange plans?
They said the kidnapping
would save lots of trouble.
That's why I butted in
where I had no business.
Please, forgive me.
You showed such courage!
It's easy to be courageous
in a dream.
- What do you do in real life?
- In real life?
I have a degree in philosophy...
but here I am preparing...
for an exam in aptitude for love...
my degree in Ireneology.
- Will I pass?
- You talk too much!
I'm taking my oral.
In the meantime,
our taxi's going nowhere.
- Where are we going?
- I don't know.
We can't go to your place or mine.
They'll find us right away.
Number 13, Lovers' Lane.
Who lives there?
That's right.
You don't know.
Tell me what this little book is.
- Father's Key to Dreams.
- But to what dreams?
I know a psychic on Lovers' Lane...
who can unlock this book's secret.
That taxi taking off--
let's follow it.
Is it a private residence?
It's a little strange.
Is anybody home?
Echos have no imagination.
How can you make jokes?
- You've no sense of reality.
- No, I have a sense of unreality.
You're dreaming, but you won't
give in to your dream.
When you're old, you'll be sorry
you missed out on so many dreams.
Stop, stop! Here it is.
- Adelbert?
- Denis.
Are you really here?
How did you recognize me?
Your voice is familiar to me.
Where have you been
in those party clothes?
- How did you guess?
- From the squeak in your shoe.
The young lady you're with
must be very pretty to listen to.
How did you know
there's two of us?
I can't claim to see you...
but I can sense you,
imagine you.
I can describe
your charming companion.
She's wearing a white silk dress.
Right?
- And I'll wager she's a blonde.
- Who told you?
I heard the silky voice of her dress.
I smelled her perfume,
a blonde perfume.
You're incredible!
He's incredible.
A blind man's hearing is sharper
than ours...
his sense of smell more refined,
his sense of touch more accurate.
He sees in the dark,
whereas we need light.
Give me that Key to Dreams
so I can find the answer.
- How did you--
- I saw it.
I saw it in your hand.
Strange, this blind man!
Pity those who need eyes to see.
It isn't a book.
I don't feel good about this.
It's Pandora's Box!
There's a double fold
in the cover...
and there's a paper inside.
The paper's flying away!
Let me go!
Open this door!
If I had known that I was to meet
the famous shadow--
For a dream girl,
you've got a good hook!
For a dream girl, you know
how to take care of yourself.
A dream girl?
- Aren't you the mirage, toots?
- What are you talking about?
And don't put on airs with me.
I'm not dreaming.
Don't tell me that mouth isn't real,
that those curves are an illusion.
I have my feet on the ground
and my head on my shoulders.
I don't believe
in floating spirits.
You can call Denis all you want,
but he can't find you now. You get it?
Do you know the story
of Hansel and Gretel?
I'll tell it to you.
Nurse!
Another cuckoo.
Bring her in.
Let me go!
- My poor Nina!
- I hurt myself. Here, look at this.
The paper I found--
in her bra.
In her bra?
Very interesting.
Good evening, Josephine.
Napoleon asked me
to welcome you.
Please, not you!
- Sir, are you the one who--
- Absolutely. Me, myself and I.
Very well.
Excuse me,
where is Dr. Tellier's office?
Excuse me?
Never forget, when speaking to me,
that I am a clock.
A Louis XIII, of course.
Of course. Absolutely.
- What time do you have?
- Three pounds.
You're slow.
- Yes, by three yards.
- Cubic?
Three yards tick...
three yards tock.
My spring hurts...
and I have a sty on my hour hand.
Aside from that, I'm all right.
But I'm winding down.
You should see a watchmaker.
I know the cause.
It's hereditary.
I come
from a long line of clocks.
My father was a cuckoo...
and my mother a wristwatch.
The key to the kingdom.
You can wind up the locks.
This is very strange.
They really are nuts!
Thank goodness. I'm in time!
You'll never get out of here
without a pass.
Come. You're not staying here
a minute longer.
What is it?
What do you mean, What is it?
Is that any way
to introduce yourself?
Introductions aren't necessary
in a insane asylum...
or a cutthroat's den...
you charlatan!
I'll have you arrested!
Emergency Exit
Don't look!
You can trust me.
- It's pretty.
- What's pretty?
The shadow.
- Do you like it?
- What?
- The shadow.
- Yes, very much.
My stockings and shoes, please.
Do you exist outside of my dream?
At this moment I'm asleep
in a stupid, crazy, mundane world.
What are you saying?
I tremble at the thought that
a honking horn or a ringing bell...
or some idiot talking could wake me up
and separate us forever.
And yet I must lose you
with the dawn.
But why? I do exist.
I have a birth certificate.
I'm real--
Real and alive.
I exist because I have a past!
- And a childhood, no doubt?
- Of course.
Irene, that's impossible.
I didn't dream of you as a child,
so you don't exist.
But I do. I swear it!
I lived without knowing you.
With your father?
Professor Thales?
Actually, I hardly ever saw
my father.
My only memory of him
is that he wasn't there.
- He was always disappearing.
- He travelled.
He doesn't travel anymore these days...
and he uses me in his act.
I'm one of his props.
A prop that's become a nuisance.
He tried to have you kidnapped
tonight, and he'll try again.
Soon I'll wake up, you'll disappear...
and I won't be able
to help you anymore.
Irene, listen to me.
Soon you won't be able
to answer my question.
I love you.
I love you in all tenses:
in the present,
in the future...
even in the subjunctive,
which is no small feat.
What about you, Irene?
Do you love me?
I love.
Who do you love?
Be patient with me.
I haven't gotten to the lesson
on direct objects.
I'll teach you.
But that'll be the topic
of another lesson.
What matters now is the solution
to our current problem...
and I have a hunch the answer
is on that piece of paper you found.
- They stole it from me!
- To give back to Thales?
- It must be.
- Where is Thales?
Perhaps still
in the Den of Illusions.
- What's that?
- A kind of nightclub he runs.
- Where is it?
- Next to the Academy of Magic.
Not that way!
I'm going to tell him
a thing or two.
- Are you afraid?
- I'm afraid for you.
At last, a tender word.
- Can we get a taxi at this hour?
- We don't need one.
I'll take you on a magic carpet.
Here it is.
Den Of Illusions
That's funny. The paper you found
had been slipped into the binding.
The ink wasn't quite dry yet.
The binding acted as a blotter.
Look.
What can you make out here?
Official stamps and a signature.
It must be a birth certificate.
- You're sure Thales is your father?
- Of course.
- And your mother?
- She's dead.
- When?
- Twenty-one years ago.
Strange.
- Very strange.
- What?
Pardon me.
Forgive me.
They might at least say something.
They're mannequins.
Appearances--
it's all just appearances.
What are you doing?
Pardon me, mannequin!
My mistake.
You! What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
You claimed I couldn't
get into your dream.
That I couldn't fight
your shadow woman.
Wrong. I sneaked in.
Madam is the silhouette
advertised outside.
How do you do, madam?
You know one another?
I used to, but I don't anymore.
And you?
How do you know her?
She was the guard
in the ambulance.
What ambulance,
my wandering thought?
I even gave you
a poke in the eye!
You're dreaming!
- Nina!
- What?
Anything goes in a dream.
Shadows can be frank
with one another.
What has gotten into
the two of you?
You may be dreaming, but I'm not.
Listen to her!
That's funny.
But it's true-- she isn't dreaming
since she doesn't even exist.
- Nina, please, get out!
- I'd love to, but I can't.
Just stop dreaming about me,
and I'll disappear.
Fine. Listen closely, Nina.
If you don't evaporate
immediately...
when I wake up,
I'll give you such a--
You only say that
because you're dreaming.
In real life, you wouldn't dare...
being as timid as you are.
Waiter!
Champagne for everybody.
Pay me the price of my treachery...
since you've bought my complicity.
That's right.
And not one penny less.
Here.
Take your money.
To your health!
I'm not jealous.
Each of us has her role, right?
I'm his real sweetheart.
He's with you
only when he's asleep.
My dear, since we're dreaming...
why don't we make good use of it?
He's right.
We are dreaming.
Because If we weren't--
I heard you. I was wrong.
I didn't know
you were incompetent.
Incompetent?
My plan was perfect!
You were to marry Irene and
her inheritance, and we'd split it.
You didn't foresee
that Irene wouldn't love me.
Is it my fault if you look
the way you do?
My face is just as good as yours.
Is it my fault you were clumsy?
Is it my fault
you let the document get stolen?
Was I the one who took advantage
of Irene's money?
You were my partner!
I didn't know you when her father died.
Perhaps you were involved in that.
My past is no different than yours.
You're the one who led me astray.
- Yes, you!
- Scoundrel!
Cheat! Crook!
A revolver solves every problem.
I'll tell him what's what!
One has to make a good exit.
Don't move. I'll count to three.
- Professor Thales, please.
- That way.
Boris!
This guy's always chasing me.
two--
You again!
One second more
and I would no longer have been here.
You've really come
at the last minute.
You will explain your behavior
immediately.
I answer only to God now,
and He's waiting for me.
We have an appointment,
and I will not stand Him up.
No, you're staying here.
You'll leave only when
I have your confession.
- I'll count to three.
- Don't shoot!
- Don't shoot the piano player.
- One!
- It'll be bad for business.
- Two!
- The police will arrest you.
- What do I care? I'm dreaming.
I've been dreaming ever since someone
woke me up at the flower market.
A man who's dreaming can only commit
an imaginary murder.
The blood he sheds
is only in his imagination.
Do phantoms have blood? No.
We're phantoms.
But you're a rascal of a phantom.
For the moral of this story,
the villain must die.
What could be more pleasant
than to kill with impunity?
You don't exist.
Killing you is a bit redundant...
isn't it?
When I wake up,
having committed the crime...
my conscience will be clear.
I will drink to your ghost.
I said one...
- two...
- Don't!
I'll tell you everything!
I wanted to get my hands
on Irene's fortune.
I already squandered some of it--
I've had a hard life!
An accountant was to examine
my books this morning.
Irene is about to turn 21.
What time is it?
3:00, miss.
And you're not her father?
Her father was my friend.
What was his was mine.
When he died, Irene was only
one year old, and very rich.
I've never told her...
she was an orphan.
- You stole her money.
- Granted.
And to avoid an accounting problem
this morning, I had resolved--
- To make her vanish.
- That's my profession.
You bungled your chance, my friend.
I couldn't rely on my accomplices.
You are unworthy of haunting
my dream any longer.
A thousand pardons...
but I'm putting an end to you.
Three!
Allow me to place these flowers
on my grave.
And have mercy on me.
I'll not stand in your way.
Marry Irene's phantom.
It's yours.
And be grateful to me
for squandering her fortune.
This way no one can say...
you're marrying for money.
This rascally phantom
is a strange fellow.
Come, Boris.
Your mission isn't finished.
It's marvelous!
Thales is not your father.
- He's seen the light.
- What?
We're all dreaming!
We're engaged. Kiss me!
Oh, so we're dreaming!
Then, if we're dreaming...
dream that I'm kissing you!
When we wake up in a while,
it'll all be over.
You're right.
You again!
Yes, it's me again.
You don't know the whole story.
Thales has given me
the most wretched task.
- And I accepted.
- That's you, all right!
Thales asked me to make you take
this drug.
A drug? What for?
To get rid of you.
But I'll do nothing of the sort.
It's not in me
to do such a wretched thing.
Drug a sleeping person?
How ironic!
I want you to earn the pay
of your treachery.
You can pay what you owe me.
I'll drink it. It won't hurt me.
My God!
Don't worry.
It won't have any effect on me.
Dear Irene...
to our love!
To our love!
Drinking from the same glass!
That's too much.
I apologize, Irene.
My dear Boris...
I'd like you to note
that your little potion...
has no effect on us.
At last, I'm happy.
What can one do to a happy man?
My dear Irene.
We can-- We can--
Yes, Denis. We can--
That wasn't a round of drinks--
that was a massacre.
Waiter...
take away the bodies!
Take them to the academy.
- Give him back his things.
- Where?
Right there.
Take my daughter
up to her room.
To her room. Fine.
There you go!
According to what he said,
he works right around here.
- Are you through sleeping?
- Aren't you going to wake up?
- Where were you?
- You look awful!
I've been dreaming.
What a dream.
Dreaming?
I'll bet you met a gal.
She made a big impression on you.
And Thales was there--
- I swear I was dreaming!
- Have you seen your face, my friend?
My face?
What's wrong with my face?
Was it a dream,
or is was it lipstick?
Come and have
something to eat.
- I can't.
- Why?
- What about her?
- What?
Her!
Funny guy.
Now he's chasing after his dream.
You put me through some night,
my friend!
I'm really sorry.
But I'll have you know
I don't act this way in real life.
It was a dream, Doctor.
I've wasted enough time
with you, sir.
Go find Irene
and leave me in peace.
- But I'll never be able to find her.
- I don't care.
She's getting married.
Not to me. To someone else.
I tell you, we made a reservation.
We called you.
Come with me.
You can explain it to the boss.
I know nothing about it.
Pardon me, sir.
What's become of the man
who lived here?
What man?
The one who lived in the little room
on the first floor, on the right.
Didn't you know the house
was abandoned two years ago?
Two years?
How time flies!
Here's your breakfast.
No, thanks. I don't want any.
What's going on with you?
I just lived through a night that was...
fantastic.
Are you still dreaming?
Now is when the dream begins.
That is, the nightmare.
If I weren't so tired...
I'd commit suicide.
Why did I lose you?
It can't be!
Hello, Denis.
She calls me by my first name.
It must be her.
I mean, it must be you.
I mean, it must be us.
How did you find me?
It was the easiest thing in the world.
I found your address
when I woke up.
- Where?
- In my hand.
Who could have given it to you?
I'm sure it must have been that man
who seemed to know you so well...
the one with the poison.
Boris!
Thank you for coming
to set my mind at rest.
Don't go yet.
Of course, you mustn't make
the other fellow wait.
- What other fellow?
- Your fianc?.
Rest assured, I won't make him
wait long.
I am promptness personified.
A few more minutes, seconds--
No, Irene, don't tease me.
I'm all out of aces.
I played them all in vain last night--
I lost everything.
Here. Your friend Boris
also gave me this paper.
I need it to get married.
It's the one
from The Key to Dreams.
Listen, Irene.
I have a confession to make...
and don't get me confused.
It's hard to speak
when one isn't dreaming.
I've imagined a girl like you
so often...
I really thought
it was a dream when I saw you.
My daily dream.
I know now it wasn't...
that it was a marvelous coincidence.
I know you exist,
and my dream is no longer mine.
I know you spoke last night...
of the lesson
about direct objects.
I know that you even kissed me.
Now you're marrying another man.
What's that?
It's nothing.
Just my alarm clock.
9:00. Time for my class.
The hour of my freedom!
I'm exactly 21 years old.
I just came of age.
Or had you forgotten?
I'm free, Denis.
At last I can be with my fianc?.
You!
Me.
This is too wonderful.
This is marvelous.
Quiet now, I'm already awake...
yet my dream continues.
Love, give us our daily dream.
Love, give us our daily dream.
I'm sorry.
You've got your system down:
Let the others work while you sleep.
Bravo!
I didn't mean to.
It just came over me.
Oh, yeah?
You're just lazy.
You heard me!
Honest. I couldn't help it.
You heard me!
Here, give me a hand.
- You're so delicate.
- I'm terribly sorry.
How you talk.
If you weren't so nice-looking--
You should find some way to relax.
Don't yawn.
I can't take it.
I don't get enough sleep.
- So saw some logs during the day.
- I work in the afternoon too.
- Don't. They're mine.
- Take them, then.
Come on, let's get to it!
Come on.
Give me a hand.
I don't know how to thank you.
You're very kind.
How you talk.
Like a dictionary.
What's your real work?
Now you've got me doing it.
Give me a cigarette!
And a light.
There's the bell.
Keep it.
See you tonight.
Hello, my friend.
You're early this morning, Denis.
Going to the wedding?
Not too tired?
I'll reminisce about the youth
I never had.
What a shame. Youth--
I'd trade my shop for it.
How about trading me
a cup of coffee instead?
Don't mind me, Boris.
Denis!
Put that money back.
Where you got it.
Lock the drawer.
Give me the key.
Close the wardrobe door too.
The key.
Denis, I'm sorry.
I'm a miserable sinner...
a pitiful wretch.
Be quiet, Boris.
Despise me, Denis.
Please, despise me.
For my sake!
Get up!
I shall stay at your feet
till I die.
I will get up only to die.
That's great.
Come on, get up!
As you wish.
I'll be punished for it, but I'll obey.
Pretty flowers.
Don't touch! They're fragile.
So last month it was you too?
Yes, I stole your rent money,
your pajamas, shoes, ties...
and electric iron.
Spit in my face!
For two weeks
I've been killing myself...
working all night
at the market.
I've no excuse.
I'm a dirty dog!
I know you're killing yourself
to pay room and board till exams.
If you flunk, it will be my fault.
Bring me a vase for these flowers.
Right away.
- Boris!
- Nina! What are you doing here?
I have a modeling session. I stopped by
to see if Denis was feeling better.
Don't go see him.
You look upset.
Poor chap.
Why? Does he know about--
No, he doesn't know about us.
Then what's wrong?
Are you having second thoughts?
No, but I feel guilty.
Is it eating you?
To deceive a friend--
How shameful!
And just how should I feel?
I'm his girlfriend!
They're all the same.
Women troubles.
Makes me wonder. Women!
It's all in your head.
You're right-- I am a wretch.
I preferred your shame to my death.
At least I have a conscience.
My conscience bothers me, so I've done
my penance. How convenient.
You know how to deal
with everyone--
your conscience,
your landlord-- everybody!
- Remember what you owe me.
- Sure, sure.
- How is he?
- Who?
Your victim.
Sure-- Denis.
He's sleeping.
You were wrong to cheat on him.
He deserved better.
A guy who's always tired
ought to rest.
Put yourself in my place.
He's always sleeping:
standing up, lying down--
While I count the tiles in the floor!
He pays no attention to me.
Even when he kisses me,
he's thinking of something else...
just as if I wasn't there.
If he weren't so shy,
I'd think he was cheating on me too.
But he's not even doing that!
So it's his tough luck if we--
Sure. Forget that wet blanket.
Pick me up at the clinic at 7:00.
Don't kiss me like that.
It makes me dizzy.
If you want to sleep,
why don't you go to bed?
I wasn't sleeping, Lucien.
Really?
I was dreaming.
What's the difference?
There's a huge difference,
my dear doctor.
If I slept, I'd wake up rested,
but I'm exhausted.
You're having dreams?
Must be your liver.
I'm really tired!
You look worn out.
I haven't slept in 24 hours.
My essay on Marguerite of Navarre
has to be finished tonight.
And I've still got all this to do!
You're really not doing well.
You've got a fever.
It's got nothing to do with a fever.
Listen to me, Lucien.
For three weeks now,
every time I doze off...
I have the exact same dream...
in which an amazingly
beautiful woman floats by.
She appears,
only to run away from me.
I follow her white silhouette...
through amazing landscapes.
But she always escapes from me
with impish skill.
She becomes a starfish,
a rainbow...
a light, a laugh,
a bunch of flowers.
Stay still!
Don't touch that!
What's gotten into you?
Lie down! You'll feel better.
It won't make any difference--
I'm fine.
Nothing strange
in what ails you.
Everyone has a favorite dream.
Favorite dream?
But I didn't choose this one.
It chose me.
The job is not very difficult.
But it is very risky.
Perhaps, but it's very well paid.
You're an intelligent woman.
Asleep, I pursue my dream.
Awake, it pursues me.
It's a kind of obsession.
- Who will cure me?
- You yourself.
- I'd like to know how.
- Nina can help you.
Don't talk to me about her.
She's so sweet, so loving...
- and I'm unfaithful to her.
- You are?
Of course-- in my dream!
See you later.
To have a dream spoil one's life!
How ironic!
Don't tell me you're in love
with this illusion.
- I am.
- What about Nina?
She doesn't know about it yet.
I'll tell her the truth.
You can't. You have no willpower
when it comes to women.
You're right, and it causes me
enough grief already.
I'd like to be cured of it.
- But I must tell Nina the truth.
- What truth?
That I love someone else
and we must break up.
You're leaving Nina
for this dream woman?
But I can't have two sweethearts.
But one of them doesn't exist!
She exists because I love her.
There you are!
May I intrude?
By all means.
- Thank you.
- Listen--
One slap, coming up!
What's wrong?
For a week now
you haven't even known I exist.
My charms aren't meant
to be wasted.
- This is the ultimate insult!
- What do you mean, ultimate?
I call ignoring me the ultimate insult.
That's how I see it!
- Nina, be nice.
- That's all I've done, is be nice.
Tell him you're sorry.
Never mind. It's nothing.
What? It's nothing?
- Don't start again!
- But she's right.
- See? I'm right.
- Yes, Nina's right.
You should know the whole truth.
Nina, you and I-- That is--
- You explain it to her.
- Explain what?
That she needn't feel humiliated...
that I love someone else.
What are you talking about?
He's going to explain.
You love someone else?
Who is she?
This changes everything.
I'll tell her a thing or two.
But you can't.
Can't I? Why not?
- Because she doesn't exist.
- You take me for an idiot?
No, Nina. She doesn't exist.
She's the reason I sleep so much.
- What?
- It's true.
- What's this woman like?
- I don't know.
- Brunette? Blonde? Redhead?
- I don't know.
Tall? Short?
What does she look like?
- I've never seen her.
- You've never seen her.
Hey, Adelbert!
You prefer a shadow to me--
I who never hid a thing from you.
The man's in love
with a question mark!
- You won't see this woman again!
- Is that so?
- I'll keep you from seeing her.
- How?
I won't let you sleep.
- How about roast beef?
- That's fine.
I'll lock myself in.
I want to sleep!
I'll get into your dream.
You can't just waltz into my dreams.
It's not a free show!
We'll see about that!
You can't compete
with a shadow!
Shadow, my foot.
I'll show her a shadow!
- Take it easy.
- I am taking it easy!
Still water. That's me!
But watch out when still water
starts to boil!
That child has
some colorful expressions!
Lucien, can you lend me a quarter?
Better than that--
come and have dinner with us.
Since my presence seems to be
so sought after...
I'll have roast beef.
I've followed your little exchange
with great interest.
I, too, have loved
imaginary women.
They are my fondest memory.
And now that I'm blind...
I must use my imagination
for even the most real of women.
It's not bad.
I get to imagine them as I like.
Let me have a cigarette.
Where did I put them?
Right-hand pocket of your jacket.
He's right!
It was in losing my sight
that I became a seer.
Very strange.
If you should ever have need
of my special talents...
I live at 13 Lovers' Lane.
Funny. And here I thought
you slept out under the stars.
No, no, the building belongs to me.
I made myself a present of it.
Just a whim.
Did you hear that?
I'm talking to you!
Where have you gone?
- Off with your shadow again?
- Calm down.
You don't want me
to get near your specter, huh?
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing!
Phantom or not,
I'll take care of her.
Hate to break up your charming romance,
but you'll be late for the market.
I'm on my way.
They're all crazy about me there.
Stop chatting.
Go find your buddies.
You get here just in time
to take a break.
Come have a drink.
No, thanks.
Well, I better get going.
What's wrong with him?
He's never thirsty.
You ought to see a doctor.
Look at him.
He always gets here late
and wants to chat on top of it.
Mademoiselle, please.
Let me see your face.
Now that I've seen your face,
don't take it away.
You'll come with me
to the end of my dream?
It's not far.
At the break of day.
Irene.
You're always late.
You're desirable enough as it is--
no need to keep us waiting.
You?
Sit down.
Here.
Our last-minute guest.
Don't be embarrassed
by your clothes.
They're in their working clothes too.
Dear Lord, don't let me wake up.
Don't let me wake up!
Three dozen oysters
and another bottle.
You'll have something with us,
won't you, sir?
Nothing, thanks.
I'm just a bit thirsty.
A glass for the gentleman.
Where were you
at this late hour?
It's not proper.
Don't ask me questions--
I won't answer.
What's the matter?
You should be happy.
This is the last evening
you'll spend with your fianc?...
because tomorrow
he'll no longer be your fianc?...
but your husband.
The end of my life as a young girl,
and you want me to be happy?
Look.
They're happy too.
My daughter must seem
a bit strange.
I'm a stranger...
an unknown person...
an enigma...
and this pitiful cadet whose wife
I will be doesn't know me at all!
You exaggerate.
He only knows my face,
the poor thing.
He's marrying my appearance.
I'll wear black at my wedding.
Irene...
you're upsetting me.
Black, I tell you.
I'll be mourning
my stillborn springtimes.
Farewell, lilies of the valley.
Mademoiselle is dead.
Long live Madam.
But will I get married?
It takes two to get married.
That's right: two.
And this poor cadet is alone.
Alone.
Sad wives...
make joyous widows.
What did you give her to drink?
Me? Why, nothing!
Where did you meet her?
In my dream, just like you.
How long have you known her?
My dear white silhouette...
he asks how long I've known you.
Do you see one another often?
Every time I close my eyes.
Very strange.
I've spent every night with her
for the past month.
- What?
- You heard me.
I finally meet her, only to learn
she's to marry a cardboard cutout.
You've been drinking, sir!
Yes, sir! To your health,
by God's grace.
Mademoiselle?
Yes, you!
Don't keep me waiting, miss.
Pretty girl, isn't she?
Not quite my type.
Bring me a tomato Trocadero...
and a flycatcher with oil dressing.
I love cannibal,
but with a slice of lemon.
I prefer it with a slice off the tee.
This phone!
This isn't Maintenon,
this is Richelieu speaking.
Why, tear out his left eye
with a corkscrew, as usual.
Of course. Good-bye.
Forgive me, but I must be going.
The commissioner has a headache.
See you later.
My daughter is insane.
I hope this condition
is only temporary.
Allow me to introduce myself:
Professor Thales.
Pleased to meet you.
- Cadet Brochard, my assistant.
- Pleased to meet you.
And I'm... me!
Please do me a favor, sir.
My assistant and I must leave
for an important engagement...
that I can neither suspend
nor delay.
Please find my daughter
and give her this note.
Poor cadet.
Here you are. I dare say
she's not as crazy as she seems.
"Academy Of Magic
Professor Thales -- White Magic"
"My poor child.
Please calm yourself.
This marriage is heaven-sent
for you.
I'm counting on you this evening.
P.S. And don't forget your head."
I must be sleeping like a log.
Academy of Magic
Does the commissioner
still have his headache?
Don't be silly.
How did you get here?
I'm supposed to give you this.
Very well.
The P.S. is a bit odd,
but it's not my fault.
And that's the least unusual part
of the note.
My father is crazy.
Why, naturally!
Of course, you take me
for a lunatic.
I take you as you please,
with or without your senses.
You should know I was putting on
an act at the restaurant.
Did you get a good look
at my fianc?'s face?
What did you think?
Personally, I like yours better.
Thank you.
May I ask a question?
Why are you marrying him?
But will I marry him?
One doesn't marry a crazy person.
That's why I acted like a mad woman,
and I had you as a witness.
- So I was a witness?
- You witnessed my delirium.
Why not tell your father
you won't marry that--
My father plays on my gratitude,
my affection.
I gave in.
But at the last minute,
I rebelled.
You love your father very much?
Yes.
And yet...
he treats me more
and more strangely...
as what he calls
the fateful date approaches.
- The fateful date?
- When I come of age.
I'll be 21 tomorrow at 9:00.
- He can't bear the idea.
- Strange.
His mind is more deranged
every day.
He thinks I'm crazy.
So everything's just fine.
I've led you
into a strange adventure...
haven't I?
- Are you sorry you followed me?
- Not at all.
Nothing surprises me.
Everything's possible.
- What's your name?
- Irene.
I'm Denis.
By the way,
don't forget your head.
Thank you. I'd forgotten.
Where was my head?
- That's amazing!
- What's wrong?
Nothing.
What's more natural
than to have a spare head?
It's not a bother at all.
Since you have two,
give me one.
- What for?
- To worship.
I prefer to carry it.
If you lost it--
I never lose my head.
Or at least not other people's.
- Will you be staying?
- Are you going to meet your father?
Yes. Why?
- After what has happened?
- Yes. He expects me.
I can't make him miss
such an important performance.
All right. Let's go.
What do you mean, let's go?
I'm going with you.
No. Say good-bye like a good boy.
No, Irene.
You're in my dream,
not the other way around. I decide.
- What?
- Nothing.
You need my arm to defend you,
my strength to protect you.
I can handle any danger
that might threaten you.
Come to think of it...
why not?
It's your size.
- Go get dressed.
- I hate formal functions.
You must dress where we're going.
I'm going to dress as well.
- Pick it up.
- Pick it up?
You can get dressed
in that little closet.
You'll find various sizes
of shoes in there.
I only need one size.
Both my feet are the same.
- What am I dropping?
- Cards.
That suit is a little tricky.
It will fit like a glove.
Personally, I'd prefer
it fit like a suit.
Prince Charming, in person!
- The hat's not exactly right.
- Take your pick.
Perhaps this one.
What a couple!
- Too bad.
- Too bad what?
Too bad you aren't
flesh and blood.
Come along if you like...
but spare me your sweet nothings.
Defend me, protect me...
especially against yourself.
I'll defend you a little,
a lot, passionately, wildly.
- Where are we going?
- To the Louvre.
- At this hour?
- What's so surprising?
Nothing.
Genius knows no working hours.
What are you doing?
One never knows, sweetheart.
Taxi.
An ambulance? What for?
Perhaps some old painting
has fainted.
Follow me-- at a distance.
I'll drift along in your wake.
What's he doing with that hat?
It's impossible! He's dreaming.
Pleased to meet--
I understand perfectly!
Understand what?
Clever way of introducing yourself...
but I'd already guessed.
Come with me.
The stage is this way.
Excuse me. Who are you?
The curator.
Here is our little makeshift theater.
You have plenty of time
to organize your show.
Please, I'm waiting.
- May I?
- Please hurry.
Trust me.
We'll have her kidnapped.
The problem will be solved.
What do we risk?
Five years.
A kidnapping
is a disappearing act...
and I'm a magician.
See how fate arranges everything.
The curator is letting us use...
this trapdoor.
He said it belonged
to Queen Margot.
Good old Margot!
She's helping us out.
Let's see where this leads.
This kidnapping will
put an end to our troubles.
Poor child!
Here?
Yes, here.
Let's check our plan.
- I can't quite see--
- And yet everything's clear.
Either Irene goes quietly to city hall
or we have her locked up.
She showed signs of dementia
at the restaurant...
that, with a little embellishment,
could easily land her in an asylum.
Locking her up will be no problem.
For my part, I'd like to see her
part away, but it's too risky.
It's not risky at all!
She'll slide down the chute...
and come out here.
Her giddiness will make
our task easier.
Our two friends will appear.
Are you there?
Yes, boss.
She'll get a good scare
from seeing them.
With good reason.
Good evening.
Miss, allow me to introduce you...
to Dr. Tellier.
- Mademoiselle is the daughter--
- Of our magician. I know.
You are his prettiest,
most ravishing feat.
- I'm afraid it's not a difficult one.
- What do you mean?
To make someone appear
is nothing.
To make them disappear--
that's another matter.
If he made you disappear,
I would be very sorry.
Watch out for Dr. Tellier.
He's a distinguished psychiatrist.
All the women
are crazy about him.
You're giving me
a very dangerous reputation.
You deserve it.
Do you dance?
Yes, I dance.
Psychiatrists are very frivolous.
Well, shall we dance?
Wonderful child.
There must be a way
to stop this wedding.
- Can an insane person marry legally?
- If he's not recognized as such, yes.
- But if he is, then he can't?
- No.
Fate has sent you to me!
She will open this door.
What will she find?
The ambulance driver.
Please, get in, miss.
To the loony bin.
And a lovely one it is.
Come.
What loony bin
are you taking her to?
Stupid!
To Dr. Tellier's clinic.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm so sad.
Disappointed in love?
- He's leaving me.
- Who's leaving you?
Him.
A man I've known since 1795.
Since 1795?
Do you know why he's leaving me?
For Marie-Louise.
Napoleon did that to you?
It's the only way...
to overcome Irene's stubbornness.
I forgot the most important thing.
Give me back the book.
It's of no use to you anymore...
if Irene decides to marry you.
Not much chance of that.
Ladies and gentlemen...
please take your seats.
The renowned Professor Thales
will perform for you...
amazing feats of magic.
Did you hear that?
What are you doing here?
- What about you?
- What? I insist you leave.
- After you.
- I'm here in a professional capacity.
You mean, in a criminal capacity!
- Please, let us do our work.
- Yes, let us work.
Castoff! Leftover! Supernumerary!
I didn't ask your opinion.
I'm not in the habit of speaking
with hopeless losers.
Don't waste time answering him.
Get me my robe.
I advise you
to give up your plan...
if you wish to avoid
a very unpleasant surprise.
Here's Professor Thales...
in the flesh,
to perform his miracles!
Ladies and gentlemen...
I'm pleased
to make your acquaintance.
First, some amusing trinkets
for the ladies.
I leave because I choose to...
but who gave you the right
to turn my dream into a nightmare?
Here we have an empty box.
Absolutely empty!
Pigeons.
And now the trick
of the magic sarcophagi.
Here we have two sarcophagi.
No double back,
no secret openings.
Sarcophagi and nothing more.
In front of your very eyes...
I shall place
in one of the sarcophagi...
the lady brave enough
to trust me.
Then I'll pierce the sarcophagus
with a sword.
Is there a lady present
who will help us?
No one?
- Is there no one?
- Yes. I'll do it.
I commend
the young lady's heroism.
Irene, no!
This child isn't going
to be your guinea pig!
The crime--
What time is it?
The crime of ten minutes to midnight
will not take place.
Good act, isn't it?
The stooge is excellent.
Who are you, sir?
You swear you don't know me?
I swear!
- Never heard of me?
- Never!
I'm the fly in the ointment,
the uninvited guest.
Mademoiselle,
go back to your seat...
and stay away
from vampires' traps.
Absolutely not.
I'm not the kind who walks out.
The audience will decide.
Yes or no?
Shall I perform the miracle
of the sarcophagi?
Yes!
You insist on the assassination
of an irresponsible child?
- You need a victim.
- Yes!
- Finish tying her up.
- No, listen--
Please step into the sarcophagus.
And, now, ladies and gentlemen...
you see the second sarcophagus
is still empty.
Close the first sarcophagus.
Watch out, Irene!
What are you doing?
That's terrible!
Denis!
- Have you quite finished?
- No, I haven't!
And to these cruel, mad people,
I say--
Specter of spectators--
You've taken Irene!
Good-bye, then.
I'm going to find her.
Let me go!
There you are!
I was terribly worried.
Me too. Look!
Do you know those gentlemen?
Are they friends of yours?
We've seen the body of the lady.
Show us the body of the man.
I tell you once again:
It's impossible.
Go back to your crypts!
Mummies to the right,
mummies to the left.
How many of them are there?
- Boris?
- What?
Boris! But it's not surprising to find
people you know in your dreams.
- Are you free?
- Yes.
A taxi sent from heaven!
So you were saying,
I'm not the kind who walks out?
Do you think I would have interfered
if I hadn't overheard...
Dr. Thales' strange plans?
They said the kidnapping
would save lots of trouble.
That's why I butted in
where I had no business.
Please, forgive me.
You showed such courage!
It's easy to be courageous
in a dream.
- What do you do in real life?
- In real life?
I have a degree in philosophy...
but here I am preparing...
for an exam in aptitude for love...
my degree in Ireneology.
- Will I pass?
- You talk too much!
I'm taking my oral.
In the meantime,
our taxi's going nowhere.
- Where are we going?
- I don't know.
We can't go to your place or mine.
They'll find us right away.
Number 13, Lovers' Lane.
Who lives there?
That's right.
You don't know.
Tell me what this little book is.
- Father's Key to Dreams.
- But to what dreams?
I know a psychic on Lovers' Lane...
who can unlock this book's secret.
That taxi taking off--
let's follow it.
Is it a private residence?
It's a little strange.
Is anybody home?
Echos have no imagination.
How can you make jokes?
- You've no sense of reality.
- No, I have a sense of unreality.
You're dreaming, but you won't
give in to your dream.
When you're old, you'll be sorry
you missed out on so many dreams.
Stop, stop! Here it is.
- Adelbert?
- Denis.
Are you really here?
How did you recognize me?
Your voice is familiar to me.
Where have you been
in those party clothes?
- How did you guess?
- From the squeak in your shoe.
The young lady you're with
must be very pretty to listen to.
How did you know
there's two of us?
I can't claim to see you...
but I can sense you,
imagine you.
I can describe
your charming companion.
She's wearing a white silk dress.
Right?
- And I'll wager she's a blonde.
- Who told you?
I heard the silky voice of her dress.
I smelled her perfume,
a blonde perfume.
You're incredible!
He's incredible.
A blind man's hearing is sharper
than ours...
his sense of smell more refined,
his sense of touch more accurate.
He sees in the dark,
whereas we need light.
Give me that Key to Dreams
so I can find the answer.
- How did you--
- I saw it.
I saw it in your hand.
Strange, this blind man!
Pity those who need eyes to see.
It isn't a book.
I don't feel good about this.
It's Pandora's Box!
There's a double fold
in the cover...
and there's a paper inside.
The paper's flying away!
Let me go!
Open this door!
If I had known that I was to meet
the famous shadow--
For a dream girl,
you've got a good hook!
For a dream girl, you know
how to take care of yourself.
A dream girl?
- Aren't you the mirage, toots?
- What are you talking about?
And don't put on airs with me.
I'm not dreaming.
Don't tell me that mouth isn't real,
that those curves are an illusion.
I have my feet on the ground
and my head on my shoulders.
I don't believe
in floating spirits.
You can call Denis all you want,
but he can't find you now. You get it?
Do you know the story
of Hansel and Gretel?
I'll tell it to you.
Nurse!
Another cuckoo.
Bring her in.
Let me go!
- My poor Nina!
- I hurt myself. Here, look at this.
The paper I found--
in her bra.
In her bra?
Very interesting.
Good evening, Josephine.
Napoleon asked me
to welcome you.
Please, not you!
- Sir, are you the one who--
- Absolutely. Me, myself and I.
Very well.
Excuse me,
where is Dr. Tellier's office?
Excuse me?
Never forget, when speaking to me,
that I am a clock.
A Louis XIII, of course.
Of course. Absolutely.
- What time do you have?
- Three pounds.
You're slow.
- Yes, by three yards.
- Cubic?
Three yards tick...
three yards tock.
My spring hurts...
and I have a sty on my hour hand.
Aside from that, I'm all right.
But I'm winding down.
You should see a watchmaker.
I know the cause.
It's hereditary.
I come
from a long line of clocks.
My father was a cuckoo...
and my mother a wristwatch.
The key to the kingdom.
You can wind up the locks.
This is very strange.
They really are nuts!
Thank goodness. I'm in time!
You'll never get out of here
without a pass.
Come. You're not staying here
a minute longer.
What is it?
What do you mean, What is it?
Is that any way
to introduce yourself?
Introductions aren't necessary
in a insane asylum...
or a cutthroat's den...
you charlatan!
I'll have you arrested!
Emergency Exit
Don't look!
You can trust me.
- It's pretty.
- What's pretty?
The shadow.
- Do you like it?
- What?
- The shadow.
- Yes, very much.
My stockings and shoes, please.
Do you exist outside of my dream?
At this moment I'm asleep
in a stupid, crazy, mundane world.
What are you saying?
I tremble at the thought that
a honking horn or a ringing bell...
or some idiot talking could wake me up
and separate us forever.
And yet I must lose you
with the dawn.
But why? I do exist.
I have a birth certificate.
I'm real--
Real and alive.
I exist because I have a past!
- And a childhood, no doubt?
- Of course.
Irene, that's impossible.
I didn't dream of you as a child,
so you don't exist.
But I do. I swear it!
I lived without knowing you.
With your father?
Professor Thales?
Actually, I hardly ever saw
my father.
My only memory of him
is that he wasn't there.
- He was always disappearing.
- He travelled.
He doesn't travel anymore these days...
and he uses me in his act.
I'm one of his props.
A prop that's become a nuisance.
He tried to have you kidnapped
tonight, and he'll try again.
Soon I'll wake up, you'll disappear...
and I won't be able
to help you anymore.
Irene, listen to me.
Soon you won't be able
to answer my question.
I love you.
I love you in all tenses:
in the present,
in the future...
even in the subjunctive,
which is no small feat.
What about you, Irene?
Do you love me?
I love.
Who do you love?
Be patient with me.
I haven't gotten to the lesson
on direct objects.
I'll teach you.
But that'll be the topic
of another lesson.
What matters now is the solution
to our current problem...
and I have a hunch the answer
is on that piece of paper you found.
- They stole it from me!
- To give back to Thales?
- It must be.
- Where is Thales?
Perhaps still
in the Den of Illusions.
- What's that?
- A kind of nightclub he runs.
- Where is it?
- Next to the Academy of Magic.
Not that way!
I'm going to tell him
a thing or two.
- Are you afraid?
- I'm afraid for you.
At last, a tender word.
- Can we get a taxi at this hour?
- We don't need one.
I'll take you on a magic carpet.
Here it is.
Den Of Illusions
That's funny. The paper you found
had been slipped into the binding.
The ink wasn't quite dry yet.
The binding acted as a blotter.
Look.
What can you make out here?
Official stamps and a signature.
It must be a birth certificate.
- You're sure Thales is your father?
- Of course.
- And your mother?
- She's dead.
- When?
- Twenty-one years ago.
Strange.
- Very strange.
- What?
Pardon me.
Forgive me.
They might at least say something.
They're mannequins.
Appearances--
it's all just appearances.
What are you doing?
Pardon me, mannequin!
My mistake.
You! What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
You claimed I couldn't
get into your dream.
That I couldn't fight
your shadow woman.
Wrong. I sneaked in.
Madam is the silhouette
advertised outside.
How do you do, madam?
You know one another?
I used to, but I don't anymore.
And you?
How do you know her?
She was the guard
in the ambulance.
What ambulance,
my wandering thought?
I even gave you
a poke in the eye!
You're dreaming!
- Nina!
- What?
Anything goes in a dream.
Shadows can be frank
with one another.
What has gotten into
the two of you?
You may be dreaming, but I'm not.
Listen to her!
That's funny.
But it's true-- she isn't dreaming
since she doesn't even exist.
- Nina, please, get out!
- I'd love to, but I can't.
Just stop dreaming about me,
and I'll disappear.
Fine. Listen closely, Nina.
If you don't evaporate
immediately...
when I wake up,
I'll give you such a--
You only say that
because you're dreaming.
In real life, you wouldn't dare...
being as timid as you are.
Waiter!
Champagne for everybody.
Pay me the price of my treachery...
since you've bought my complicity.
That's right.
And not one penny less.
Here.
Take your money.
To your health!
I'm not jealous.
Each of us has her role, right?
I'm his real sweetheart.
He's with you
only when he's asleep.
My dear, since we're dreaming...
why don't we make good use of it?
He's right.
We are dreaming.
Because If we weren't--
I heard you. I was wrong.
I didn't know
you were incompetent.
Incompetent?
My plan was perfect!
You were to marry Irene and
her inheritance, and we'd split it.
You didn't foresee
that Irene wouldn't love me.
Is it my fault if you look
the way you do?
My face is just as good as yours.
Is it my fault you were clumsy?
Is it my fault
you let the document get stolen?
Was I the one who took advantage
of Irene's money?
You were my partner!
I didn't know you when her father died.
Perhaps you were involved in that.
My past is no different than yours.
You're the one who led me astray.
- Yes, you!
- Scoundrel!
Cheat! Crook!
A revolver solves every problem.
I'll tell him what's what!
One has to make a good exit.
Don't move. I'll count to three.
- Professor Thales, please.
- That way.
Boris!
This guy's always chasing me.
two--
You again!
One second more
and I would no longer have been here.
You've really come
at the last minute.
You will explain your behavior
immediately.
I answer only to God now,
and He's waiting for me.
We have an appointment,
and I will not stand Him up.
No, you're staying here.
You'll leave only when
I have your confession.
- I'll count to three.
- Don't shoot!
- Don't shoot the piano player.
- One!
- It'll be bad for business.
- Two!
- The police will arrest you.
- What do I care? I'm dreaming.
I've been dreaming ever since someone
woke me up at the flower market.
A man who's dreaming can only commit
an imaginary murder.
The blood he sheds
is only in his imagination.
Do phantoms have blood? No.
We're phantoms.
But you're a rascal of a phantom.
For the moral of this story,
the villain must die.
What could be more pleasant
than to kill with impunity?
You don't exist.
Killing you is a bit redundant...
isn't it?
When I wake up,
having committed the crime...
my conscience will be clear.
I will drink to your ghost.
I said one...
- two...
- Don't!
I'll tell you everything!
I wanted to get my hands
on Irene's fortune.
I already squandered some of it--
I've had a hard life!
An accountant was to examine
my books this morning.
Irene is about to turn 21.
What time is it?
3:00, miss.
And you're not her father?
Her father was my friend.
What was his was mine.
When he died, Irene was only
one year old, and very rich.
I've never told her...
she was an orphan.
- You stole her money.
- Granted.
And to avoid an accounting problem
this morning, I had resolved--
- To make her vanish.
- That's my profession.
You bungled your chance, my friend.
I couldn't rely on my accomplices.
You are unworthy of haunting
my dream any longer.
A thousand pardons...
but I'm putting an end to you.
Three!
Allow me to place these flowers
on my grave.
And have mercy on me.
I'll not stand in your way.
Marry Irene's phantom.
It's yours.
And be grateful to me
for squandering her fortune.
This way no one can say...
you're marrying for money.
This rascally phantom
is a strange fellow.
Come, Boris.
Your mission isn't finished.
It's marvelous!
Thales is not your father.
- He's seen the light.
- What?
We're all dreaming!
We're engaged. Kiss me!
Oh, so we're dreaming!
Then, if we're dreaming...
dream that I'm kissing you!
When we wake up in a while,
it'll all be over.
You're right.
You again!
Yes, it's me again.
You don't know the whole story.
Thales has given me
the most wretched task.
- And I accepted.
- That's you, all right!
Thales asked me to make you take
this drug.
A drug? What for?
To get rid of you.
But I'll do nothing of the sort.
It's not in me
to do such a wretched thing.
Drug a sleeping person?
How ironic!
I want you to earn the pay
of your treachery.
You can pay what you owe me.
I'll drink it. It won't hurt me.
My God!
Don't worry.
It won't have any effect on me.
Dear Irene...
to our love!
To our love!
Drinking from the same glass!
That's too much.
I apologize, Irene.
My dear Boris...
I'd like you to note
that your little potion...
has no effect on us.
At last, I'm happy.
What can one do to a happy man?
My dear Irene.
We can-- We can--
Yes, Denis. We can--
That wasn't a round of drinks--
that was a massacre.
Waiter...
take away the bodies!
Take them to the academy.
- Give him back his things.
- Where?
Right there.
Take my daughter
up to her room.
To her room. Fine.
There you go!
According to what he said,
he works right around here.
- Are you through sleeping?
- Aren't you going to wake up?
- Where were you?
- You look awful!
I've been dreaming.
What a dream.
Dreaming?
I'll bet you met a gal.
She made a big impression on you.
And Thales was there--
- I swear I was dreaming!
- Have you seen your face, my friend?
My face?
What's wrong with my face?
Was it a dream,
or is was it lipstick?
Come and have
something to eat.
- I can't.
- Why?
- What about her?
- What?
Her!
Funny guy.
Now he's chasing after his dream.
You put me through some night,
my friend!
I'm really sorry.
But I'll have you know
I don't act this way in real life.
It was a dream, Doctor.
I've wasted enough time
with you, sir.
Go find Irene
and leave me in peace.
- But I'll never be able to find her.
- I don't care.
She's getting married.
Not to me. To someone else.
I tell you, we made a reservation.
We called you.
Come with me.
You can explain it to the boss.
I know nothing about it.
Pardon me, sir.
What's become of the man
who lived here?
What man?
The one who lived in the little room
on the first floor, on the right.
Didn't you know the house
was abandoned two years ago?
Two years?
How time flies!
Here's your breakfast.
No, thanks. I don't want any.
What's going on with you?
I just lived through a night that was...
fantastic.
Are you still dreaming?
Now is when the dream begins.
That is, the nightmare.
If I weren't so tired...
I'd commit suicide.
Why did I lose you?
It can't be!
Hello, Denis.
She calls me by my first name.
It must be her.
I mean, it must be you.
I mean, it must be us.
How did you find me?
It was the easiest thing in the world.
I found your address
when I woke up.
- Where?
- In my hand.
Who could have given it to you?
I'm sure it must have been that man
who seemed to know you so well...
the one with the poison.
Boris!
Thank you for coming
to set my mind at rest.
Don't go yet.
Of course, you mustn't make
the other fellow wait.
- What other fellow?
- Your fianc?.
Rest assured, I won't make him
wait long.
I am promptness personified.
A few more minutes, seconds--
No, Irene, don't tease me.
I'm all out of aces.
I played them all in vain last night--
I lost everything.
Here. Your friend Boris
also gave me this paper.
I need it to get married.
It's the one
from The Key to Dreams.
Listen, Irene.
I have a confession to make...
and don't get me confused.
It's hard to speak
when one isn't dreaming.
I've imagined a girl like you
so often...
I really thought
it was a dream when I saw you.
My daily dream.
I know now it wasn't...
that it was a marvelous coincidence.
I know you exist,
and my dream is no longer mine.
I know you spoke last night...
of the lesson
about direct objects.
I know that you even kissed me.
Now you're marrying another man.
What's that?
It's nothing.
Just my alarm clock.
9:00. Time for my class.
The hour of my freedom!
I'm exactly 21 years old.
I just came of age.
Or had you forgotten?
I'm free, Denis.
At last I can be with my fianc?.
You!
Me.
This is too wonderful.
This is marvelous.
Quiet now, I'm already awake...
yet my dream continues.
Love, give us our daily dream.
Love, give us our daily dream.