Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) - full transcript
It is the story of one Mr. Fox and his wild-ways of hen heckling, turkey taking and cider sipping, nocturnal, instinctive adventures. He has to put his wild days behind him and do what fathers do best: be responsible. He is too rebellious. He is too wild. He is going to try "just one more raid" on the three nastiest, meanest farmers that are Boggis, Bunce and Bean. It is a tale of crossing the line of family responsibilities and midnight adventure and the friendships and awakenings of this country life that is inhabited by Fantastic Mr. Fox and his friends.
Born on a mountain top
in Tennessee
Greenest state
in the land of the free
Raised in the woods
so he knew every tree
Killed him a b'ar
when he was only three
Davy, Davy Crockett
king of the wild frontier!
Fought single-handed
through the lnjun War
Till the Creeks was whipped
an' peace was in store
And while
he was handling...
What'd the doctor say?
Nothing. Supposedly
it's just a 24-hour bug.
He gave me some pills.
I told you
you probably just
ate some bad gristle.
Should we take
the short cut
or the scenic route?
Let's take
the short cut.
But the scenic route
is so much prettier.
Okay, let's take
the scenic route.
Great.
It's actually slightly
quicker anyway.
Thank you.
What is a squab?
You know what it is.
lt's like a pigeon
l suppose.
Should we go through
the hole under
the horse fence,
or climb the rail
over the bridle path?
The horse fence
is a little safer.
But the bridle path
puts us right next
to the squab shack.
Well, okay.
What's wrong?
You're acting skittish.
Don't worry. l've been
stealing birds for a living
since before l could trot.
You look unbelievably
beautiful tonight.
You're practically glowing.
Maybe it's
the lighting.
Come on.
L've been taken
for lost and gone
And unknown
for a long long time
Fell in love years ago
with an innocent girl
From the Spanish
and lndian home
Home of the
heroes and villains
And she was right
in the rain of the bullets
that eventually
brought her down
But she's still dancing
in the night
Unafraid of what
a dude'll do
ln a town full of
heroes and villains
What's that?
I think it's a fox trap.
Look at this.
Get away
from there.
Is it spring-loaded?
I guess if you come from
over there and stand at this
door to the squab shack,
this little gadget
probably triggers...
Move out of the way,
that's where
it's going to land.
Don't... Let's go!
No, it just falls
straight right down.
lt's not spring-loaded.
I'm pregnant.
Wow. We're going
to have a cub.
That's great news.
If we're still alive...
lf we're still alive tomorrow
morning, l want you to find
another line of work.
Okay.
My children were raised
You know they suddenly rise
They started so long ago
Head to toe healthy,
wealthy and wise
Does anybody actually read
my column? Do your friends
talk about it?
Of course. ln fact,
Rabbit's ex-girlfriend
said to me,
"l should read Foxy's
column." But they don't
get the Gazette.
Ash!
Let's get cracking.
Why would they?
It's a rag sheet.
I'm sick.
You're not.
I have a temperature.
You don't.
I don't want to go.
Hurry up.
You'll be late.
I love the way
you handled that.
Your cousin Kristofferson's
coming on the 6th.
Be extra nice to him,
he's going through
a hard time right now.
Where will he sleep?
In your room.
I can't spare the space.
Put him in Dad's study.
Dad's study is
occupied by Dad.
l don't want to live
in a hole anymore.
lt makes me feel poor.
We are poor.
But we're happy.
Comme ci, comme ça.
Anyway, the views are
better above ground.
Honey, l'm 7
non-fox-years old.
My father died at 7-1 /2.
I don't want to live in
a hole anymore. l'm going to
do something about it.
Well, l'm off.
Have a good day,
my darlings.
You know, foxes live
in holes for a reason.
Yes and no.
What are you wearing?
Why a cape with the pants
tucked in your socks?
I guess he's just
different.
l'm not the listing
agent on it,
so it doesn't matter to me.
I know he's...
Actually, there he is.
Mr. Fox! Here it is!
This is the tree!
Come on over.
l'll call you back, Bob.
Obviously, it's first
growth, indigenous,
original dirt floor.
Good bark, skipping
stone hearth,
as you can see.
Kylie. Kylie!
I'm showing the property.
You're not supposed
to be here.
What time is it?
Sorry.
This is Kylie, the super.
He's a little...
What's in the bucket,
Mr. Kylie?
See what his eyes
look like? Hey, Kylie!
Huh? Just minnows.
Want to try one?
Certainly. Thank you.
It's not exactly an
evergreen, is it?
Are there any pines
on the market?
Pines are hard to come by
in your price range.
What's that?
What do you do
for a living, Mr. Fox?
I used to steal birds,
but now l'm
a newspaperman.
Oh, sure. l've seen
your byline.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
You're going?
Oh, and Kylie, thank you
for the minnow.
lt was superb.
Don't buy this
tree, Foxy.
You're borrowing at 9.5%
with no fixed rate,
plus moving into the
most dangerous neighborhood
in the country
for your species.
You're exaggerating.
l'm sugar-coating it.
This is Boggis,
Bunce and Bean,
three of the meanest,
nastiest, ugliest farmers
in the history of this valley.
Really? Tell me
about them.
All right.
Walt Boggis is a
chicken farmer. Probably the
most successful in the world.
He weighs the same
as a young rhinoceros.
He eats three chickens
every day for breakfast,
lunch, supper and dessert.
That's twelve in
total per diem.
Nate Bunce is a duck
and goose farmer.
He's approximately the size
of a pot-bellied dwarf,
and his chin would
be underwater
in the shallow end of
any swimming pool
on the planet.
His food is
homemade doughnuts
with smashed-up goose livers
injected into them.
Frank Bean is a turkey
and apple farmer.
He invented his own
species of each.
He lives on a liquid diet of
strong alcoholic cider, which
he makes from his apples.
He's skinny as a pencil,
smart as a whip,
and possibly the scariest
man currently living.
The local human children
sing a kind of eerie little
rhyme about him.
Here, listen to this.
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
These horrible crooks
So different in looks
Were nonetheless
equally mean
ln summation, l think
you just got to not do it.
That's all.
I understand what you're
saying, and your
comments are valuable,
but l'm going to
ignore your advice.
The cuss you are.
The cuss am l?
Are you cussing with me?
Are you cussing with me?
Don't cussing point at me.
Don't cuss with someone
you're not going to
cuss with.
Just buy the tree.
Okay.
Take a left, then to
the right. Set them down.
Help that other guy.
Lift with your legs,
not your back. Don't
try to be a superman.
We got two circuits here,
yellow and green.
Keep them separated.
We need to bring
about 2% more in.
A little bit more,
a little bit more.
Looks good.
Get that bottom
structure settled in.
Bring in the side unit.
Be careful of the branches,
guys. Don't peel away
the bark.
Wow.
Hi.
He's slightly younger,
but a cuss of
a lot bigger.
That's just genetics,
l guess. Ash has
a littler body type.
Go.
Watch this, Dad!
Well, well.
Good jump, Ash.
Remember to keep
your tail tucked.
Still painting
thunderstorms, l see.
Do you still feel poor?
Less so.
Look at that! This kid's
a natural. l'm speechless,
Kristofferson.
Plus, he knows karate.
Do you think
l'm an athlete?
What are you
talking about?
Well, l think
l'm an athlete.
Sometimes l feel
like you guys don't
see me that way.
What's the subtext here?
Is he praying?
I think that's yoga.
How long is Kristofferson
supposed to stay with us?
Until your uncle
gets better.
But roughly how long
do we plan to
give him on that?
Double pneumonia.
It's not that big a deal.
Lower
your voice, Ash.
Who am l, Kylie?
Who how? What now?
Why a fox? Why not a horse,
a beetle or a bald eagle?
I'm saying this more
as existentialism.
Who am l,
and how can
a fox ever be happy
without, forgive
the expression,
a chicken in its teeth?
I don't know what
you're talking about,
but it sounds illegal.
Here, put this
bandit hat on.
Maybe you're a medium.
Take it off and don't
wear it around the house.
And so it begins.
Do you mind if l slide
my bedroll slightly out
from under the train set?
It's hard to sleep
in that corkscrew
position.
There's a lot of attitudes
going on around here.
Don't let me get one.
It's just that
my spinal cord is...
Sleep wherever you want.
Here, take my bed.
l'll crawl under
the bookcase.
Who cares if l get
splinters in my ears?
Never mind.
Are you going to
pout about it?
L've had it up to
here with the sad
house guest routine.
Good night.
l used to do this
professionally and l was
very successful at it.
I had to get out of it
for personal reasons,
but l've decided to
secretly do one last
big job on the sly.
I'm bringing you in
as my secretary
and personal assistant.
Okay.
This is actually kind of
a big deal, so don't
just say, "Okay."
Okay, thank you.
I'm going to tape this
for my records, so don't
make a lot of sounds.
Meaning, stop rocking.
Master Plan.
Phase one. Side A.
We'll start
with Boggis's Chicken
House Number One.
His only security is
a few old hunting beagles
and a low stone wall.
A word about beagles,
never look a beagle
directly in the eye.
Why not? Beagles
aren't so tough.
One of these beagles has
chronic rabies, which
he's on medication for.
If you get bitten by him,
you have to get shots in
your stomach for six months.
I'm not going to
justify this.
Just pay attention
and stop interrupting.
l'm taping this.
I picked some blueberries
and laced each
with 10 mg of high potency
sleeping powder.
Enough to tranquilize
a gorilla.
How do we make
them eat it?
Beagles love
blueberries.
Remember, they
aren't very smart, but
they're incredibly paranoid,
so always kill a chicken
in one bite.
One bite, get it?
Are you listening to me?
I look in your eyes
and can't tell if you
get anything l say.
Magnesium.
Magnesium!
Sorry.
Pipette.
Pipette!
Oh, sorry.
Potassium...
What are you looking at?
Oh, no.
Why's your cousin
such a wet sandwich?
I beg your pardon?
What's that mean?
That means
l didn't understand,
a wet sandwich?
A wet sandwich,
he's too short, he
dresses like a girl, he's
different.
Are you a bully?
You're starting to
sound like a bully.
Watch this.
You just destroyed
the whole experiment.
We better extinguish
this magnesium.
Stand back.
l like your ears.
Mine?
Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.
I like your spots.
Really? l used to
cover them up,
but, you know...
You're supposed to
be my lab partner.
I am.
No, you're not.
You're disloyal.
A few beagles,
as we discussed,
but we're ready for that.
In the old days,
didn't we do a thing when
somebody saw a wolf...
Wolf? What wolf?
Nothing? Never mind.
Here comes
a little stone wall.
Not a problem.
What the cuss? Where did
this giant fence come from?
We had a master plan.
What's this
lightning bolt?
It could mean the
fence might be electric.
I hope it doesn't mean
thunder, because l have
a phobia of that.
Ah!
Watch this.
Beagles love blueberries.
Didn't l tell you? The master
plan is working again.
This is the tricky part.
One of us has to jump
the barbed wire,
slide under the tire spikes
and open the fence latch.
Who will it be?
Not me.
Kristofferson could do
this easily. He's like
an Olympic level...
Why don't we run that way?
There's no obstacles.
Yeah, that's better.
l said, one bite.
I'm trying!
I have a different kind
of teeth from you.
l'm an opossum.
Give me that.
That's so grisly.
There's blood.
Follow me.
All right, what's the
master escape plan?
Follow me again.
Quick!
Give me that!
Let's hit the five-and-dime
on the way home.
We'll make fake price tags
and wrap the chickens
in wax paper,
so it looks like
we bought them!
Huh!
Where'd you
get this chicken?
At the five-and-dime
last night.
It has a Boggis Farms tag
around its ankle.
Huh! Must have
escaped from there
before l bought it.
Psst!
Bunce tonight.
He has a refrigerated
smokehouse with geese...
l thought you said
we were only doing
one last big job.
We are.
But it's not done yet.
lt's a triple-header.
Shh! Shh!
Huh.
Let's see some hustle.
L've never played
whack-bat.
What are the rules?
No whack-bat on
the other side
of the river?
No, we mostly just
run grass sprints
or play acorns.
It's real simple.
There's
3 grabbers, 3 taggers,
5 twig-runners
and the player
at whack-bat.
The center-tagger lights
a pinecone and chucks it
over the basket.
The whack-batter tries
to hit the cedar-stick
off the cross-rock.
The twig-runners
dash back and forth
until the pinecone burns out
and the umpire calls,
"hot box."
At the end, you count
how many score-downs
it adds up to
and divide by nine.
Got it.
Go in for Ash.
Substitution!
Ash, come out!
You need a breather.
Come out?
What? l still
feel good, Coach.
Let me finish this 8th.
No, come on.
Step out, let's go.
Am l getting better,
Coach?
You're sure as cuss
not getting worse.
You think l could end up
being as good as my dad
if l keep practicing?
Your dad? Your dad was
probably the best
whack-bat player
we ever had
in this school.
Don't compare
yourself to that.
But l think l have some
of the same raw natural
talent, don't you?
You're improving,
let's put it like that.
Hot box!
Divide that by nine,
please!
That's the first time
this kid's ever swung
a whack bat?
He really is your
father's nephew.
Not by blood.
No?
He's from my
mother's side.
Oh, yeah.
What's that stand for?
It's for pep. Pep.
It's a K.
Come on now, look alive!
That-a-boy!
We're going steady.
What's that?
What? What, this?
Nothing. Just some
old trophy l won
for being an athlete.
I have to cover
a book party at
some animal's nest
in a tobacco field
down the hill.
Kylie and l are going to
give it a whirl.
Don't wait up.
What's the book?
Some memoir.
l'll get him to
sign you a copy.
The dinner was
pitch perfect.
I saw a couple broken burglar
bars under the back door
to Bean's secret cider cellar.
We're breaking into
Bean's house?
Cellar.
Where he lives?
Where he keeps the cider.
Below where
he lives.
Where'd you come from?
Go back to the tree
and do your homework.
I want to help
steal cider.
We're going to a book party.
And be quiet about any cider,
because nobody
said that. Now, go!
You're going to get
me in a lot of trouble.
Besides, you're too little
and uncoordinated.
One, two, three!
Where the cuss
does that kid get off?
Can you believe that?
How'd he get tipped off?
You think he'll
tell on us?
Before we go on,
can you give me
some kind of signal
so l know this is getting
through to you?
That's it? All right.
There's another one.
Good, you made it.
Anybody see you?
I don't think so.
Put this bandit hat on.
I'm pleased
to be invited,
but l'm not sure
l should be
doing this.
Why not?
I don't like to be
dishonest with people.
Just keep your
mouth shut and it
won't be a problem.
I don't think he
should come, either.
We're not
taking a vote!
One time,
this wolf l saw...
What's with
all the wolf talk?
Give it a rest for once.
Look at all
this apple juice.
Apple juice?
We didn't come here
for apple juice.
This is some of the
strongest, finest alcoholic
cider money can buy
or that can
even be stolen.
It burns in your throat,
boils in your stomach,
and tastes almost exactly
like pure, melted gold.
Y'all are trespassing
now, illegally.
'Round these parts,
we don't take kindly
to cider poachers.
You've aged badly, Rat.
You're getting a little
long in the tooth
yourself, partner.
Why are you
wearing that badge?
What is that?
It's my job.
How's your old lady doing?
Do you refer to my wife?
She was the
town tart in her day.
Wild and footloose and
pretty as a mink stole.
Is that true?
Of course not. l mean,
certainly she lived.
We all did.
It was a different time.
Let's not use
a double standard.
But town tart?
Shut up.
That was close,
Rat. Be careful.
Oh, l'm careful as a...
How many jars
should l bring up,
Franklin?
l don't know.
Two, l guess.
You drank
three yesterday.
All right.
Take three.
Nope. Two is plenty.
Oh, my cuss.
Is she blind?
She might have astigmatism
or possibly a cataract
of some form.
Anyway, her eyes
don't see well.
What'd l tell you?
This kid's a natural!
Am l right?
So good of you
to come. You both
look splendid.
How have you been, Walter?
In good health?
Nathan? All's well?
Wonderful.
Any fox problems?
Are you joking?
Horrible.
We're miserable.
He's laughing at us.
Humiliating.
We're furious.
I don't want to
talk about it.
Perhaps we
ought to kill him.
That seems obvious.
He's too sneaky.
Right, of course.
He's very clever,
isn't he?
Might be a bit difficult,
l suppose.
l've figured out where this
fox lives. Tomorrow night,
we'll camp in the bushes,
wait for him to come out
and shoot the cuss
to smithereens.
How does that grab you?
I don't see why not.
Another book party?
I didn't see you sitting
in the dark over there.
Actually, there was a fire.
I just got the call.
May be arson.
l have to interview
the marshal...
Kylie. ls he
telling the truth?
l don't want to be put
in the middle of this.
Thanks, Kylie.
Why is he wearing
that bandit hat?
His ears were cold.
He's not with us.
Go back to bed.
If what l think
is happening
is happening,
it better not be.
Nice job covering
for me. Next time...
All three!
Kill him!
We got the tail,
but we missed the fox.
Petey, sorry to wake you.
Can you dash out here
right away
with three shovels,
two pickaxes, 500 rounds
of ammunition,
and a bottle of
apple cider?
lt'll grow back,
won't it?
Tails don't grow back.
Tails don't grow back?
Mmm-mmm.
Except lizards'.
Tails don't grow back.
l'm gonna be tail-less
for the rest of my life.
Anyway, it's not half
as bad as double
pneumonia, right?
I mean, his dad has one foot
in the grave and three feet
on a banana peel.
That's
a lot worse than...
Excuse me. l'm going
to go meditate for
half an hour.
You have 29 minutes
to come up with
a proper apology.
Me? Me have
an apology?
He just got here
and got a bandit hat?
Where's my bandit hat?
Why didn't l get shot at?
Because you think l'm
no good at anything!
Maybe you're right,
thanks.
l told you
not to bring him.
Why the cuss
didn't l listen to
my lawyer?
We'll be lucky to flip
this tree for half of
what we've sunk into it.
I can't sleep on my back
for 6 weeks and on my
stomach, l feel congested.
Why the cuss didn't l
listen to my lawyer?
Because you
don't listen to anybody.
What was that?
l said...
Wake up!
They're digging us out!
They'll kill the children.
Over my dead body.
I know. You're dead,
too, in that scenario.
I'm arguing
against that.
What?
Why are you yelling?
Stop! You say one thing,
she says another, and it
all changes back again!
l've got it. No time
to lose. Why didn't l
think of this sooner?
Think of what?
We've been trapped before.
Dig!
l think it's time for me
to give a pep talk
and explain some things.
A very long time ago...
May l have a word
with you privately?
Well, we're in
a hole here.
On the other side of
this mineral deposit.
Follow me.
l'm going to lose
my temper now.
When?
Right now.
Well, when?
Twelve fox-years ago,
you made a promise
while we were caged
in that fox trap that,
if we survived,
you would never steal
another chicken, turkey,
goose, duck
or squab,
whatever they are.
Now, l believed you.
Why did you lie to me?
Because l'm a wild animal.
You are also a husband,
and a father!
I'm trying to tell you
the truth about myself.
I don't care about the
truth about yourself.
This story is
too predictable.
Predictable, really?
What happens in the end?
ln the end,
we all die.
Unless you change.
Petey, run down to
the rental department
at Malloy Consolidated
and place an order
for one Mighty Max,
one Junior Spitfire,
and a long-range
Tornado 375 Turbo.
For immediate delivery.
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Everywhere
l hear the sound
of marching
charging feet, boy
Cause summer's here
and the time is right
For fighting
in the streets, boy
Ash, are you mad at me?
l understand if you are,
and l'm sorry.
I wouldn't have involved
your cousin if l'd realized
you'd feel this way.
It was only ever because
he's kind of a natural,
l mean... Look at him dig!
Anyway, l'm sorry if...
l'm going to just put
dirt in my ears.
That's better. l can't hear
you now, but keep talking.
Get down
l don't have beagle
ticks, by the way.
Well, me, neither.
Whoever said we had beagle ticks, by the way?
Apparently, that's
what you've been
telling everyone.
Beagle ticks
and pelt lice.
I never said that.
And you're
misquoting me.
But l'll get
to the bottom of it.
We may or may not
ever see the light
of day again,
but l really like Agnes
and l think she likes me.
Great. She's a free agent.
What do l care?
Then why are
you dead set...
Can l ask you
a question?
You may.
What's the point of sitting
on the floor with your legs
twisted into a pretzel
talking to yourself
for an hour and 45
minutes? lt's weird.
My father and l
started meditating
together when...
That's great, but l'd worry
more about what that does
to your reputation
than whether you have
beagle ticks or not.
I don't.
Nor pelt lice.
One of those slovenly farmers
is probably wearing my tail
as a necktie by now.
You're paranoid, Foxy.
Farmer, correct me if
l'm misreading the data.
You've destroyed the
scenery, but the alleged
fox remains at large.
Look at Dad's tie.
What will you
three prominent
farmers do now?
I can tell you what
we're not going to do.
We're not going
to let him go.
Stand clear, please.
Stand clear, everyone.
Contact!
Boggis, how many men
work on your farm?
35.
Bunce?
36.
L've got 37.
That... Carry the zero,
divide by two...
That's 108 all together.
Petey, drop everything
and assemble
all 108 members
of our three
combined work forces.
We'll starve them out,
then kill them. Starting in
shall we say, 15 minutes?
An estimated
108 snipers are in position,
surrounding the demolished
fox residence.
Any local animals
appear to be
trapped underground
without provisions
of any kind.
If l had a crystal ball,
l'd predict a fairly grisly
outcome to this situation.
We'll stay on the scene,
watching closely, as
events continue to unfold.
This is going to be
a total cluster-cuss
for everybody.
How long can a fox go
without food or water?
I can only answer as an
opossum, but l can't last more
than another couple hours
before l get completely
dehydrated and
starve to death.
What's that?
- Dad.
- Not a sound.
You scared the
cuss out of us!
A lot of good animals
are probably going to die,
because of you!
We've been digging in
circles for 3 days.
Half the woods have
been obliterated.
Nobody can get out.
My wife's huddled at
the bottom of a flint-mine
with no food, no water,
and 27 starving animal brats!
I just want to see
a little sunshine.
You're nocturnal, Phil.
Your eyes barely even
open on a good day.
I'm sick of your
double-talk!
We have rights!
We don't like you
and we hate your dad.
Now grab some mud,
chew it and swallow it.
I'm not going to
eat mud.
Cuss, yeah, you are.
Don't do that.
Why'd you take
your shoes off?
So l don't break your
nose when l kick it.
l can fight
my own fights.
No, you can't.
Those farmers won't quit
till they've got you and
every member of your family
nailed upside-down to
a bloody stick with
your eyes gorged out.
This is getting
a little too personal.
Give me a minute.
l've got an idea.
What?
It could be good.
Lay it on us.
It might save our lives.
Say the idea!
All right.
Let's try it.
Go to the flint-mine,
tell Mrs. Badger et al.
that help is on the way.
Is help on the way?
I sure as cuss hope so.
Ash, l know what
it's like to feel
different.
I'm not different.
Am l?
We all are.
Him, especially.
But there's something
kind of fantastic about
that, isn't there?
Not to me. l'd prefer
to be an athlete.
Gentlemen,
this time we must dig
in a very special
direction.
We have to kind of
feel out the vibe.
Begin.
Whoo-hoo! Come on!
You guys... You're not...
Come on.
I hit it slap in the middle.
Do you get how incredible
this is?
'Bout a handsome little fox
Let me sing you folks a yarn
Hey, diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum
'Twas a splendid
little fella
Full of wit and grace
and charm
Say zippy-zee, zappy-za,
yappy-yo, google-gum
Like any little
critter needing
Vittles for his little-uns
Well, he stole
and he cheated
And he lied
just to survive
With a doodle-dum,
diddle-di, duddle,
doodle-dum
With a zippy-zo, zippy-zay,
zippy-zappy-zoopy-zee
Oh, doo-dah, doo-dah, day!
Let me take a little tick
To color in the scene
'Cross the valley
lived three yokels
Name of Boggis,
Bunce and Bean
These three crazy jackies
Had our hero on the run
Shot the tail off the cuss
With a fox-shooting gun
But that stylish little fox
Was clever as a whip
Dug as quick as a gopher
That was hyperactive
Now those three farmers sit
'Twhere there a hole
'twas once a hill
Singing diddle-dee,
daddle-da, doddle-do,
doodle-dum
And as far as l can reckon
They're sitting up there still
Singing zippy-zee,
zappy-za, yoppy-yo...
What are you singing,
Petey?
Just making it up
as l went along, really.
That's just weak songwriting.
You wrote a bad song, Petey!
We took everything!
They took everything?
Let me call you back, Petey.
They could be
anywhere.
Digging right
under our feet.
In a sense,
we've only made
matters worse.
We should have
stayed out of it.
l've got an idea.
l still don't have a signal.
Is anybody getting reception?
l don't have
any signal, but l've had
a problem with that.
Crisp up those ducks!
Drag those chickens!
Slow down. We're ahead.
Where are the apples?
Slice them up and
get them in the pan.
I can imagine how painful,
even emotionally,
that must be for you.
It's not the end
of the world.
But how humiliating,
having your whole tail
blown clean off by...
Can we drop it?
Yeah, really good,
sweet, and nice.
They say you're a natural.
True or false?
Answer the question.
True, l guess.
Correct.
Get away, Agnes.
l need a private word
with Kristofferson.
Just a minute. She...
l don't mind.
I just had a brainstorm
for something fantastic
l've got to do.
But l can't do it alone.
I'm not interested.
Hear me out.
No, thanks. Foxes from
your side of the family
take unnecessary risks.
Only because they've
got guts in their blood.
So do we.
Was l a bit rude to Agnes?
Yeah.
I should probably
say something.
l will in a minute.
What's the brainstorm?
In a nutshell?
We're going to steal
back my dad's tail.
Whoa! Whew!
Hmm...
Okay, chief.
Here we go.
Well, it took a near
catastrophe for all of you to
finally take me up on my offer
to have you over
to the flint-mine
for dinner.
Maybe my invitation
got lost in the mail.
Does anybody know
what he's talking about?
No, Clive's right.
ln all seriousness,
excuse me, B.
We do have these
three ugly farmers to
thank for one thing.
Reminding us to be
thankful and aware
of each other.
L'll say it again, aware.
I don't feel safe.
That's because we're not.
You should put
your bandit hat on.
I don't have one,
but l modified
this tube sock.
We look good.
Yeah, we do.
Now, where would you
keep a prized tail,
if you collected them?
L'd probably hang it
over the mantelpiece.
Right. Good.
In fact...
What's that smell?
Ever tasted one of
Mrs. Bean's famous
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snaps?
Well, how do you do?
They are so warm.
Uh-oh.
We got it wrong.
It's not over
the mantelpiece.
The necktie.
Let's go.
Hang on.
Two more.
She's there.
She can't see.
Look at each other.
Here we are. Wow.
L've already had too
much to drink and l'm
feeling sentimental
but l'll say
something anyway,
which nobody wants to admit,
but which is probably true.
We beat them.
We beat those farmers
and now we're triumphantly
eating their roasted chicken,
their sizzling duck,
their succulent turkey,
their foie gras...
Where'd the boys go?
Ash! Kristofferson!
Boys!
That was crazy.
l can't believe
what just happened.
Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!
Where are we?
Kristofferson?
What am l hearing again,
baby? What's happening?
Am l still paranoid?
Cider.
What happened? Something
with cider. That was
dangerous. ls anyone hurt?
We're all hurt!
My entire flint-mine
got demolished!
Apple juice.
Apple juice flood.
Do a head count.
Everybody pick a buddy.
Where'd the boys go?
Ash! Kristofferson!
Ash!
l'm here!
Who's your buddy?
Kristofferson.
Where is he?
I don't know.
Why not?
I lost him.
You lost him?
We were in the kitchen,
trying to find the necktie.
What are you
talking about?
It's my fault.
Where did you get that
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snap,
and why are you wearing
that fake bandit hat?
We went to steal
back your tail.
Kristofferson!
Wrap this little mutt
in a newspaper
and put him in a box
with some holes
punched in the top.
There's one way out of
the sewer, but the
manhole cover's closed
and a station wagon's
parked on it.
Which means,
we're permanently
stuck down here.
You still think
we beat them, Foxy?
Badger's right.
These farmers aren't
going to quit until
they catch me.
I shouldn't have
lied to your face
or fallen off the wagon
and started secretly
stealing chickens on the sly.
I shouldn't have tried to
embarrass these farmers
and cuss with their heads.
I enjoyed it, but l shouldn't
have done it. Now there's
only one way out.
If l hand myself over,
let them kill me,
stuff me and hang me
over their mantelpiece...
You'll do no such thing.
Maybe they'll let
everyone else live.
Oh, why did you have to
get us into this, Foxy?
I don't know, but l have
a possible theory.
I think l need everyone to
think l'm the greatest,
the "fantastic" Mr. Fox.
If they aren't completely
knocked out and dazzled
and intimidated by me
l don't feel good
about myself.
Foxes traditionally like to
court danger, hunt prey
and outsmart predators.
That's what l'm good at.
At the end of the
day, l'm just...
l know. We're
wild animals.
I guess we always were.
If l had all this to do
over again, l'd have
never let you down.
It was always more fun
when we did it together,
anyway.
I love you, Felicity.
I love you, too.
But l shouldn't
have married you.
I tell you about
finding out we
were having a cub?
In the fox trap.
Right.
We were at gunpoint,
and your mother...
Said she's pregnant.
Let me tell it,
okay?
I had no idea how to
get out of this jam.
Then it hit me.
What do foxes do
better than
any other animal?
Dig.
You're stepping
on my lines.
Keep telling it.
So we dug.
And the whole time
l put paw over paw,
scooping dirt and pebble,
your mother digging
like crazy next to me,
l kept wondering,
who is this little
boy going to be?
Or girl.
Or girl.
Because at that point,
we didn't know.
Ash, l'm so glad
he was you.
It's not your fault.
It's mine.
Good-bye.
Well, l guess we should
probably split into a
certain number of groups
and start doing
something, right?
Could l have
a glass of water?
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Kristofferson! Hello!
Can you hear us?
Kristofferson!
They got the boy.
They want to trade
the son for his poppa.
Why did they write
this in letters cut out
of magazines?
To protect their identities.
Oh, but then why'd they
sign their names?
Plus we already knew
who they were because
they're trying to kill us.
"Mr. Fox, we have
your son. lf you ever want
to see him alive again..."
You took
the wrong fox!
I'm his son.
I can see
the resemblance.
What was that?
Dad!
Stop, man, stop!
Look at you, girl.
You're still as
fine-looking as
a crème brûlée.
Am l being flirted with
by a psychotic rat?
Ash!
Let me out!
Excuse me.
May l cut in?
The boy's locked
in an apple crate
on top of a gun locker
in the attic of Bean Annex.
Would you have told me
if l didn't kill you first?
Never.
All these wasted years.
What were you
looking for, Rat?
He's trying to say
something, Dad.
Cider.
Here you are,
Rat. A beaker of Bean's
finest secret cider.
Like melted gold.
He redeemed himself.
Redemption, sure.
But in the end, he's
just another dead rat
in a garbage pail
behind a Chinese
restaurant.
He went bananas.
Yes, he did.
My suicide mission
has been cancelled.
We're replacing it
with a go-for-broke
rescue mission.
In a way, l'm almost glad
that flood interrupted us,
because l don't like
the toast l was giving.
l'm going to start over.
When l look down this table,
with the exquisite
feast set before us,
l see two
terrific lawyers,
a skilled pediatrician,
a wonderful chef,
a savvy real estate agent,
an excellent tailor,
a crack accountant,
a gifted musician,
a pretty good
minnow fisherman,
and possibly the best
landscape painter working
on the scene today.
Maybe a few of you
might even read my column
from time to time.
I tend to doubt it.
I also see a room
full of wild animals.
Wild animals
with true natures
and pure talents.
With scientific-sounding
Latin names that mean
something about our DNA.
Each with his own
strengths and weaknesses
due to his or her species.
Anyway, l think it may very
well be all the beautiful
differences among us
that might just give us the
tiniest glimmer of a chance
of saving my nephew
and letting me make it up
to you for getting us into
this crazy whatever-it-is.
I don't know, it's just
a thought. Thank you for
listening. Cheers, everyone.
Let's eat!
What? l was just
playing along with
the bit he was doing.
Will you join me?
I will.
Oh, all right,
l guess.
Thank you.
Let's start planning.
Who knows shorthand?
Great. Linda, Lutra lutra.
You got some dry paper?
Here we go.
Mole, Talpa europea.
What do you got?
I can see in the dark.
Incredible. We can
use that. Linda?
Got it.
Rabbit,
Oryctolagus cuniculus.
I'm fast.
You bet you are. Linda?
Got it.
Beaver, Castor fiber
l chew through wood.
Amazing! Linda!
Got it.
Badger, Meles meles!
Demolitions expert.
What? Since when?
Explosions, flames,
burning things!
Demolitions expert.
Okay, Linda?
Got it.
Weasel, Mustela nivalis!
Stop yelling!
Ash,
get these little
kids organized
and put together a K. P. unit
to keep this sewer clean.
It's good for morale.
Done. What's K. P.?
Um, l think it
means janitors.
Me. Yo, over here, hey.
l want to go.
l want to fight.
Good. Fabulous.
Microtus pennsylvanicus.
l didn't get a job yet.
Or a Latin name.
What's my strength?
Listen, you're Kylie.
You're an unbelievably
nice guy.
Your job is really
just to be available,
l think.
I don't know your Latin name.
l doubt they had opossums
in ancient Rome.
It's stupendous!
Where's us?
Right here.
Paint an X.
Dear Farmers Boggis,
Bunce and Bean:
l have no alternative
but to agree to your terms.
Move the station wagon
and open the manhole cover
below the drainpipe
by the cobbler shop
and meet me there
at 10:00 A. M. sharp.
I will hand myself
over to you
in exchange for the
boy's safe return.
Cordially, Mr. Fox.
Why'd he write this
in letters cut out
of magazines?
I don't know, but you
did the same thing.
I don't trust this guy.
Anyway, set up the ambush.
Synchronize your clocks.
The time is now 9:45 A.M.
Put these bandit hats on.
Did you bring the boy?
Of course we did.
Say something, kid.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
That doesn't sound
anything like him.
lt's amateur night in Dixie.
What the cuss
is he burning?
Boggis, Bunce, Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
ls that all you've
got, Mr. Fox?
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
These horrible crooks
So different in looks
Were nonetheless
equally mean...
lt's unclear
whether these...
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
Horrible crooks
Different in looks
Nonetheless equally mean
28 pinecones fired,
22 targets hit.
Decoy phase, go.
Yes, sir. Domino Santo,
one, two, three.
Dad's on fire!
Foxy, you're on.
We're ready.
I'm going to find him
and bring him back.
I know you will.
Contact!
Are you scared
of wolves?
No. l have a phobia
of them.
I have a thing
about thunder.
Why? That's stupid.
I don't like
needles myself.
Where'd you come
from again? How did
you get in the sidecar?
I feel like l'm
losing my mind.
l've got a fox
on a motorcycle,
with a littler fox
and what looks like to be
an opossum in the sidecar,
riding north on
Farm Lane Seven.
Does that sound like
anything to anybody?
Red,
it's Franklin Bean.
Turn around, get the cuss
back here and pick us
up on the ASAP.
Ah!
You got a credit card?
Sure.
This is what l was saying
about how good you are,
just being available.
A titanium card?
How the cuss did you
qualify for this?
I pay my bills on time.
L've always had good credit.
Come on.
What's this thing you do?
The whistle with
the clicking sound?
What do you mean?
That's my trademark.
Give me
a blueberry.
Blueberry.
You didn't say anything...
You forgot the blueberries?
l did say it! l wrote it
on your paw!
Yeah. lt's written on
the front of your paw.
What's that
white stuff
around his mouth?
I think
he eats soap.
That's not soap.
Then why does he
have that bubbly...
He's rabid. With rabies.
l've heard about
this beagle.
You two go ahead
while l distract him.
Hey.
I can fit through there.
Want to know why?
Why?
Because l'm little.
Give me that shoelace.
Psst! Psst!
lt's me.
I'm rescuing you.
I have mixed feelings
about that.
I don't blame you.
Can you give me
a karate lesson
real quick?
Okay. Stand like this.
Position yourself
on the balls of your feet.
Close your eyes.
You weigh less than
a slice of bread.
I feel there's a tenderness
in your eyes, isn't there?
Yes, l'm right.
Let's review the principal
jumping, flipping, landing.
You're a good boy.
A little lonely, maybe,
but terribly sweet.
Is your name Spitz?
That's German, isn't it?
Now, a rudimentary version
of the cyclone chop.
First, get a running start,
which, obviously,
l can't do here.
Then, at the destination
of the chop,
lean and thrust into
the point of contact,
paw open and straight,
then withdraw instantaneously.
lt's the pull-back
that matters.
The pull-back generates
the force of the impact.
Got it.
Yeah, l'm just going to
chop this thing right off.
He's going to do it.
Why, you're just
as sweet as a...
l thought he said
never look a beagle
in the eye.
Did you chop it?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Kristofferson.
Uh, l'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
You were just trying to
unlock the apple crate.
No. l mean
l'm sorry about...
Oh, you mean from before.
The apology you owed me,
but never actually said.
Right. l'm grumpy. l spit.
l wake up on the
wrong side of the bed.
I'm just different,
apparently.
But it won't
happen again.
Kristofferson,
l'm sorry.
Well, that's
all right, too.
Throw me the
shoelace, please.
You okay?
He's wearing it.
Your tractors uprooted
my tree, your posse
hunted my family,
your gunmen kidnapped
my nephew, your rat
insulted my wife,
and you shot off my tail.
I'm not leaving here
without that necktie.
Kill him!
Actually, we should just go.
Where did l park?
I weigh less than
a slice of bread.
L'll be right back.
Ash!
Dodge the grabbers,
duck the taggers,
jump the twig-basket and
knock the cedar-stick
off the cross-rock!
Hot box!
Ash, that was pure
wild animal craziness.
You're an athlete.
Mmm-hmm.
Here, put this
bandit hat on.
Goggles.
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short
one lean
Are you going to...
Holy
swearing cuss!
Petey, bring us
a ladder, please.
Stand by!
I just intercepted
a high-frequency radio
signal with the can,
they're on
their way home!
Don't turn around.
Where'd he come from?
Where'd you come from?
What are
you doing here?
Canis lupus.
Vulpes vulpes.
I don't think he speaks
English or Latin.
l'm asking if he thinks
we're in for a hard winter.
He doesn't
seem to know.
I have a phobia of wolves!
What a beautiful creature.
Wish him luck, boys.
Good luck, wolf.
Good luck out there.
These three, in this
reporter's opinion,
obsessed farmers
remain convinced
the fox in question will
eventually reappear. Why?
Foxes aren't meant
to live in a sewer.
They're refugees.
All they have to eat
down there is...
Trash!
And not much of it.
Uh-huh.
Thank you, farmers.
For Action 12,
this is Dan Peabody.
What is it?
His tonsils are
a little swollen.
Is it serious?
No. Hopefully,
he won't have
to lose them.
Lose the tonsils?
I'm hungry.
Have some water. Here.
We try to
keep things simple.
This is the first time
l've been to a party where
no one serves anything.
My darlings.
- Where are we going?
- Nobody knows.
We were in the middle
of a meditation practice.
Watch your step.
Let's see, where
does this lead?
Oh, no. Foxy,
it's filthy.
Keep a good grip,
everyone.
This better be worth it.
l think l see
a little sliver of light.
What's this? ls it a door?
You're a terrible actor,
Foxy.
Do you smell
something? ls that Freon?
Shh! l'm going to open this
trap door and see if
something's on the other side.
I highly doubt it, though.
There's probably
just more sewer.
Wouldn't it be
surprising if...
Open it.
Look, there's a whole
enormous, glorious, gigantic
supermarket up here.
And they close
early on weekends.
You really are kind
of a quote-unquote
"fantastic" fox.
I try. Get enough to
share with everybody.
Remember, the Rabbits
are vegetarians and Badger
supposedly can't eat walnuts.
l guess now that
Kristofferson's dad is already
down to single pneumonia
he'll be going
home soon.
Actually, when he spoke
to me from the hospital
he said he was
already talking
to Weasel
about real estate
availability in our
sewer system.
Really? Well, now's
the time to buy.
Ha!
Okay. l get it.
Is that your trademark?
I'm pregnant again.
Wow.
I think we're
both glowing.
Do another toast,
Dad.
Okay, uh...
They say all foxes
are slightly allergic
to linoleum.
But it's cool to
the paw. Try it.
They say my tail needs
to be dry-cleaned
twice a month.
But now it's
fully detachable.
See?
They say our tree may
never grow back. But one
day something will.
These crackles
are made of
synthetic goose
and these giblets come
from artificial squab.
Even these apples look fake.
But at least they've
got stars on them.
My point is,
we'll eat tonight,
and we'll eat together.
And even in this
not particularly
flattering light,
you are without a doubt
the five-and-a-half most
wonderful wild animals
l've ever met in my life.
So let's raise our boxes.
To our survival.
How was that?
Mmm.
That was a good toast.
Well, there she goes
with a brand new love affair
Dancing with him
like she don't even care
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance
Well, who would have known
that just yesterday
She danced with me
the very same way
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, let her dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, dance
Well, l"ll find me
a new love
And then she'll see
Someone else
will be dancing with me
Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, let her dance
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance with him
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance
dance, dance
English - US - PSDH
in Tennessee
Greenest state
in the land of the free
Raised in the woods
so he knew every tree
Killed him a b'ar
when he was only three
Davy, Davy Crockett
king of the wild frontier!
Fought single-handed
through the lnjun War
Till the Creeks was whipped
an' peace was in store
And while
he was handling...
What'd the doctor say?
Nothing. Supposedly
it's just a 24-hour bug.
He gave me some pills.
I told you
you probably just
ate some bad gristle.
Should we take
the short cut
or the scenic route?
Let's take
the short cut.
But the scenic route
is so much prettier.
Okay, let's take
the scenic route.
Great.
It's actually slightly
quicker anyway.
Thank you.
What is a squab?
You know what it is.
lt's like a pigeon
l suppose.
Should we go through
the hole under
the horse fence,
or climb the rail
over the bridle path?
The horse fence
is a little safer.
But the bridle path
puts us right next
to the squab shack.
Well, okay.
What's wrong?
You're acting skittish.
Don't worry. l've been
stealing birds for a living
since before l could trot.
You look unbelievably
beautiful tonight.
You're practically glowing.
Maybe it's
the lighting.
Come on.
L've been taken
for lost and gone
And unknown
for a long long time
Fell in love years ago
with an innocent girl
From the Spanish
and lndian home
Home of the
heroes and villains
And she was right
in the rain of the bullets
that eventually
brought her down
But she's still dancing
in the night
Unafraid of what
a dude'll do
ln a town full of
heroes and villains
What's that?
I think it's a fox trap.
Look at this.
Get away
from there.
Is it spring-loaded?
I guess if you come from
over there and stand at this
door to the squab shack,
this little gadget
probably triggers...
Move out of the way,
that's where
it's going to land.
Don't... Let's go!
No, it just falls
straight right down.
lt's not spring-loaded.
I'm pregnant.
Wow. We're going
to have a cub.
That's great news.
If we're still alive...
lf we're still alive tomorrow
morning, l want you to find
another line of work.
Okay.
My children were raised
You know they suddenly rise
They started so long ago
Head to toe healthy,
wealthy and wise
Does anybody actually read
my column? Do your friends
talk about it?
Of course. ln fact,
Rabbit's ex-girlfriend
said to me,
"l should read Foxy's
column." But they don't
get the Gazette.
Ash!
Let's get cracking.
Why would they?
It's a rag sheet.
I'm sick.
You're not.
I have a temperature.
You don't.
I don't want to go.
Hurry up.
You'll be late.
I love the way
you handled that.
Your cousin Kristofferson's
coming on the 6th.
Be extra nice to him,
he's going through
a hard time right now.
Where will he sleep?
In your room.
I can't spare the space.
Put him in Dad's study.
Dad's study is
occupied by Dad.
l don't want to live
in a hole anymore.
lt makes me feel poor.
We are poor.
But we're happy.
Comme ci, comme ça.
Anyway, the views are
better above ground.
Honey, l'm 7
non-fox-years old.
My father died at 7-1 /2.
I don't want to live in
a hole anymore. l'm going to
do something about it.
Well, l'm off.
Have a good day,
my darlings.
You know, foxes live
in holes for a reason.
Yes and no.
What are you wearing?
Why a cape with the pants
tucked in your socks?
I guess he's just
different.
l'm not the listing
agent on it,
so it doesn't matter to me.
I know he's...
Actually, there he is.
Mr. Fox! Here it is!
This is the tree!
Come on over.
l'll call you back, Bob.
Obviously, it's first
growth, indigenous,
original dirt floor.
Good bark, skipping
stone hearth,
as you can see.
Kylie. Kylie!
I'm showing the property.
You're not supposed
to be here.
What time is it?
Sorry.
This is Kylie, the super.
He's a little...
What's in the bucket,
Mr. Kylie?
See what his eyes
look like? Hey, Kylie!
Huh? Just minnows.
Want to try one?
Certainly. Thank you.
It's not exactly an
evergreen, is it?
Are there any pines
on the market?
Pines are hard to come by
in your price range.
What's that?
What do you do
for a living, Mr. Fox?
I used to steal birds,
but now l'm
a newspaperman.
Oh, sure. l've seen
your byline.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
You're going?
Oh, and Kylie, thank you
for the minnow.
lt was superb.
Don't buy this
tree, Foxy.
You're borrowing at 9.5%
with no fixed rate,
plus moving into the
most dangerous neighborhood
in the country
for your species.
You're exaggerating.
l'm sugar-coating it.
This is Boggis,
Bunce and Bean,
three of the meanest,
nastiest, ugliest farmers
in the history of this valley.
Really? Tell me
about them.
All right.
Walt Boggis is a
chicken farmer. Probably the
most successful in the world.
He weighs the same
as a young rhinoceros.
He eats three chickens
every day for breakfast,
lunch, supper and dessert.
That's twelve in
total per diem.
Nate Bunce is a duck
and goose farmer.
He's approximately the size
of a pot-bellied dwarf,
and his chin would
be underwater
in the shallow end of
any swimming pool
on the planet.
His food is
homemade doughnuts
with smashed-up goose livers
injected into them.
Frank Bean is a turkey
and apple farmer.
He invented his own
species of each.
He lives on a liquid diet of
strong alcoholic cider, which
he makes from his apples.
He's skinny as a pencil,
smart as a whip,
and possibly the scariest
man currently living.
The local human children
sing a kind of eerie little
rhyme about him.
Here, listen to this.
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
These horrible crooks
So different in looks
Were nonetheless
equally mean
ln summation, l think
you just got to not do it.
That's all.
I understand what you're
saying, and your
comments are valuable,
but l'm going to
ignore your advice.
The cuss you are.
The cuss am l?
Are you cussing with me?
Are you cussing with me?
Don't cussing point at me.
Don't cuss with someone
you're not going to
cuss with.
Just buy the tree.
Okay.
Take a left, then to
the right. Set them down.
Help that other guy.
Lift with your legs,
not your back. Don't
try to be a superman.
We got two circuits here,
yellow and green.
Keep them separated.
We need to bring
about 2% more in.
A little bit more,
a little bit more.
Looks good.
Get that bottom
structure settled in.
Bring in the side unit.
Be careful of the branches,
guys. Don't peel away
the bark.
Wow.
Hi.
He's slightly younger,
but a cuss of
a lot bigger.
That's just genetics,
l guess. Ash has
a littler body type.
Go.
Watch this, Dad!
Well, well.
Good jump, Ash.
Remember to keep
your tail tucked.
Still painting
thunderstorms, l see.
Do you still feel poor?
Less so.
Look at that! This kid's
a natural. l'm speechless,
Kristofferson.
Plus, he knows karate.
Do you think
l'm an athlete?
What are you
talking about?
Well, l think
l'm an athlete.
Sometimes l feel
like you guys don't
see me that way.
What's the subtext here?
Is he praying?
I think that's yoga.
How long is Kristofferson
supposed to stay with us?
Until your uncle
gets better.
But roughly how long
do we plan to
give him on that?
Double pneumonia.
It's not that big a deal.
Lower
your voice, Ash.
Who am l, Kylie?
Who how? What now?
Why a fox? Why not a horse,
a beetle or a bald eagle?
I'm saying this more
as existentialism.
Who am l,
and how can
a fox ever be happy
without, forgive
the expression,
a chicken in its teeth?
I don't know what
you're talking about,
but it sounds illegal.
Here, put this
bandit hat on.
Maybe you're a medium.
Take it off and don't
wear it around the house.
And so it begins.
Do you mind if l slide
my bedroll slightly out
from under the train set?
It's hard to sleep
in that corkscrew
position.
There's a lot of attitudes
going on around here.
Don't let me get one.
It's just that
my spinal cord is...
Sleep wherever you want.
Here, take my bed.
l'll crawl under
the bookcase.
Who cares if l get
splinters in my ears?
Never mind.
Are you going to
pout about it?
L've had it up to
here with the sad
house guest routine.
Good night.
l used to do this
professionally and l was
very successful at it.
I had to get out of it
for personal reasons,
but l've decided to
secretly do one last
big job on the sly.
I'm bringing you in
as my secretary
and personal assistant.
Okay.
This is actually kind of
a big deal, so don't
just say, "Okay."
Okay, thank you.
I'm going to tape this
for my records, so don't
make a lot of sounds.
Meaning, stop rocking.
Master Plan.
Phase one. Side A.
We'll start
with Boggis's Chicken
House Number One.
His only security is
a few old hunting beagles
and a low stone wall.
A word about beagles,
never look a beagle
directly in the eye.
Why not? Beagles
aren't so tough.
One of these beagles has
chronic rabies, which
he's on medication for.
If you get bitten by him,
you have to get shots in
your stomach for six months.
I'm not going to
justify this.
Just pay attention
and stop interrupting.
l'm taping this.
I picked some blueberries
and laced each
with 10 mg of high potency
sleeping powder.
Enough to tranquilize
a gorilla.
How do we make
them eat it?
Beagles love
blueberries.
Remember, they
aren't very smart, but
they're incredibly paranoid,
so always kill a chicken
in one bite.
One bite, get it?
Are you listening to me?
I look in your eyes
and can't tell if you
get anything l say.
Magnesium.
Magnesium!
Sorry.
Pipette.
Pipette!
Oh, sorry.
Potassium...
What are you looking at?
Oh, no.
Why's your cousin
such a wet sandwich?
I beg your pardon?
What's that mean?
That means
l didn't understand,
a wet sandwich?
A wet sandwich,
he's too short, he
dresses like a girl, he's
different.
Are you a bully?
You're starting to
sound like a bully.
Watch this.
You just destroyed
the whole experiment.
We better extinguish
this magnesium.
Stand back.
l like your ears.
Mine?
Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.
I like your spots.
Really? l used to
cover them up,
but, you know...
You're supposed to
be my lab partner.
I am.
No, you're not.
You're disloyal.
A few beagles,
as we discussed,
but we're ready for that.
In the old days,
didn't we do a thing when
somebody saw a wolf...
Wolf? What wolf?
Nothing? Never mind.
Here comes
a little stone wall.
Not a problem.
What the cuss? Where did
this giant fence come from?
We had a master plan.
What's this
lightning bolt?
It could mean the
fence might be electric.
I hope it doesn't mean
thunder, because l have
a phobia of that.
Ah!
Watch this.
Beagles love blueberries.
Didn't l tell you? The master
plan is working again.
This is the tricky part.
One of us has to jump
the barbed wire,
slide under the tire spikes
and open the fence latch.
Who will it be?
Not me.
Kristofferson could do
this easily. He's like
an Olympic level...
Why don't we run that way?
There's no obstacles.
Yeah, that's better.
l said, one bite.
I'm trying!
I have a different kind
of teeth from you.
l'm an opossum.
Give me that.
That's so grisly.
There's blood.
Follow me.
All right, what's the
master escape plan?
Follow me again.
Quick!
Give me that!
Let's hit the five-and-dime
on the way home.
We'll make fake price tags
and wrap the chickens
in wax paper,
so it looks like
we bought them!
Huh!
Where'd you
get this chicken?
At the five-and-dime
last night.
It has a Boggis Farms tag
around its ankle.
Huh! Must have
escaped from there
before l bought it.
Psst!
Bunce tonight.
He has a refrigerated
smokehouse with geese...
l thought you said
we were only doing
one last big job.
We are.
But it's not done yet.
lt's a triple-header.
Shh! Shh!
Huh.
Let's see some hustle.
L've never played
whack-bat.
What are the rules?
No whack-bat on
the other side
of the river?
No, we mostly just
run grass sprints
or play acorns.
It's real simple.
There's
3 grabbers, 3 taggers,
5 twig-runners
and the player
at whack-bat.
The center-tagger lights
a pinecone and chucks it
over the basket.
The whack-batter tries
to hit the cedar-stick
off the cross-rock.
The twig-runners
dash back and forth
until the pinecone burns out
and the umpire calls,
"hot box."
At the end, you count
how many score-downs
it adds up to
and divide by nine.
Got it.
Go in for Ash.
Substitution!
Ash, come out!
You need a breather.
Come out?
What? l still
feel good, Coach.
Let me finish this 8th.
No, come on.
Step out, let's go.
Am l getting better,
Coach?
You're sure as cuss
not getting worse.
You think l could end up
being as good as my dad
if l keep practicing?
Your dad? Your dad was
probably the best
whack-bat player
we ever had
in this school.
Don't compare
yourself to that.
But l think l have some
of the same raw natural
talent, don't you?
You're improving,
let's put it like that.
Hot box!
Divide that by nine,
please!
That's the first time
this kid's ever swung
a whack bat?
He really is your
father's nephew.
Not by blood.
No?
He's from my
mother's side.
Oh, yeah.
What's that stand for?
It's for pep. Pep.
It's a K.
Come on now, look alive!
That-a-boy!
We're going steady.
What's that?
What? What, this?
Nothing. Just some
old trophy l won
for being an athlete.
I have to cover
a book party at
some animal's nest
in a tobacco field
down the hill.
Kylie and l are going to
give it a whirl.
Don't wait up.
What's the book?
Some memoir.
l'll get him to
sign you a copy.
The dinner was
pitch perfect.
I saw a couple broken burglar
bars under the back door
to Bean's secret cider cellar.
We're breaking into
Bean's house?
Cellar.
Where he lives?
Where he keeps the cider.
Below where
he lives.
Where'd you come from?
Go back to the tree
and do your homework.
I want to help
steal cider.
We're going to a book party.
And be quiet about any cider,
because nobody
said that. Now, go!
You're going to get
me in a lot of trouble.
Besides, you're too little
and uncoordinated.
One, two, three!
Where the cuss
does that kid get off?
Can you believe that?
How'd he get tipped off?
You think he'll
tell on us?
Before we go on,
can you give me
some kind of signal
so l know this is getting
through to you?
That's it? All right.
There's another one.
Good, you made it.
Anybody see you?
I don't think so.
Put this bandit hat on.
I'm pleased
to be invited,
but l'm not sure
l should be
doing this.
Why not?
I don't like to be
dishonest with people.
Just keep your
mouth shut and it
won't be a problem.
I don't think he
should come, either.
We're not
taking a vote!
One time,
this wolf l saw...
What's with
all the wolf talk?
Give it a rest for once.
Look at all
this apple juice.
Apple juice?
We didn't come here
for apple juice.
This is some of the
strongest, finest alcoholic
cider money can buy
or that can
even be stolen.
It burns in your throat,
boils in your stomach,
and tastes almost exactly
like pure, melted gold.
Y'all are trespassing
now, illegally.
'Round these parts,
we don't take kindly
to cider poachers.
You've aged badly, Rat.
You're getting a little
long in the tooth
yourself, partner.
Why are you
wearing that badge?
What is that?
It's my job.
How's your old lady doing?
Do you refer to my wife?
She was the
town tart in her day.
Wild and footloose and
pretty as a mink stole.
Is that true?
Of course not. l mean,
certainly she lived.
We all did.
It was a different time.
Let's not use
a double standard.
But town tart?
Shut up.
That was close,
Rat. Be careful.
Oh, l'm careful as a...
How many jars
should l bring up,
Franklin?
l don't know.
Two, l guess.
You drank
three yesterday.
All right.
Take three.
Nope. Two is plenty.
Oh, my cuss.
Is she blind?
She might have astigmatism
or possibly a cataract
of some form.
Anyway, her eyes
don't see well.
What'd l tell you?
This kid's a natural!
Am l right?
So good of you
to come. You both
look splendid.
How have you been, Walter?
In good health?
Nathan? All's well?
Wonderful.
Any fox problems?
Are you joking?
Horrible.
We're miserable.
He's laughing at us.
Humiliating.
We're furious.
I don't want to
talk about it.
Perhaps we
ought to kill him.
That seems obvious.
He's too sneaky.
Right, of course.
He's very clever,
isn't he?
Might be a bit difficult,
l suppose.
l've figured out where this
fox lives. Tomorrow night,
we'll camp in the bushes,
wait for him to come out
and shoot the cuss
to smithereens.
How does that grab you?
I don't see why not.
Another book party?
I didn't see you sitting
in the dark over there.
Actually, there was a fire.
I just got the call.
May be arson.
l have to interview
the marshal...
Kylie. ls he
telling the truth?
l don't want to be put
in the middle of this.
Thanks, Kylie.
Why is he wearing
that bandit hat?
His ears were cold.
He's not with us.
Go back to bed.
If what l think
is happening
is happening,
it better not be.
Nice job covering
for me. Next time...
All three!
Kill him!
We got the tail,
but we missed the fox.
Petey, sorry to wake you.
Can you dash out here
right away
with three shovels,
two pickaxes, 500 rounds
of ammunition,
and a bottle of
apple cider?
lt'll grow back,
won't it?
Tails don't grow back.
Tails don't grow back?
Mmm-mmm.
Except lizards'.
Tails don't grow back.
l'm gonna be tail-less
for the rest of my life.
Anyway, it's not half
as bad as double
pneumonia, right?
I mean, his dad has one foot
in the grave and three feet
on a banana peel.
That's
a lot worse than...
Excuse me. l'm going
to go meditate for
half an hour.
You have 29 minutes
to come up with
a proper apology.
Me? Me have
an apology?
He just got here
and got a bandit hat?
Where's my bandit hat?
Why didn't l get shot at?
Because you think l'm
no good at anything!
Maybe you're right,
thanks.
l told you
not to bring him.
Why the cuss
didn't l listen to
my lawyer?
We'll be lucky to flip
this tree for half of
what we've sunk into it.
I can't sleep on my back
for 6 weeks and on my
stomach, l feel congested.
Why the cuss didn't l
listen to my lawyer?
Because you
don't listen to anybody.
What was that?
l said...
Wake up!
They're digging us out!
They'll kill the children.
Over my dead body.
I know. You're dead,
too, in that scenario.
I'm arguing
against that.
What?
Why are you yelling?
Stop! You say one thing,
she says another, and it
all changes back again!
l've got it. No time
to lose. Why didn't l
think of this sooner?
Think of what?
We've been trapped before.
Dig!
l think it's time for me
to give a pep talk
and explain some things.
A very long time ago...
May l have a word
with you privately?
Well, we're in
a hole here.
On the other side of
this mineral deposit.
Follow me.
l'm going to lose
my temper now.
When?
Right now.
Well, when?
Twelve fox-years ago,
you made a promise
while we were caged
in that fox trap that,
if we survived,
you would never steal
another chicken, turkey,
goose, duck
or squab,
whatever they are.
Now, l believed you.
Why did you lie to me?
Because l'm a wild animal.
You are also a husband,
and a father!
I'm trying to tell you
the truth about myself.
I don't care about the
truth about yourself.
This story is
too predictable.
Predictable, really?
What happens in the end?
ln the end,
we all die.
Unless you change.
Petey, run down to
the rental department
at Malloy Consolidated
and place an order
for one Mighty Max,
one Junior Spitfire,
and a long-range
Tornado 375 Turbo.
For immediate delivery.
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Everywhere
l hear the sound
of marching
charging feet, boy
Cause summer's here
and the time is right
For fighting
in the streets, boy
Ash, are you mad at me?
l understand if you are,
and l'm sorry.
I wouldn't have involved
your cousin if l'd realized
you'd feel this way.
It was only ever because
he's kind of a natural,
l mean... Look at him dig!
Anyway, l'm sorry if...
l'm going to just put
dirt in my ears.
That's better. l can't hear
you now, but keep talking.
Get down
l don't have beagle
ticks, by the way.
Well, me, neither.
Whoever said we had beagle ticks, by the way?
Apparently, that's
what you've been
telling everyone.
Beagle ticks
and pelt lice.
I never said that.
And you're
misquoting me.
But l'll get
to the bottom of it.
We may or may not
ever see the light
of day again,
but l really like Agnes
and l think she likes me.
Great. She's a free agent.
What do l care?
Then why are
you dead set...
Can l ask you
a question?
You may.
What's the point of sitting
on the floor with your legs
twisted into a pretzel
talking to yourself
for an hour and 45
minutes? lt's weird.
My father and l
started meditating
together when...
That's great, but l'd worry
more about what that does
to your reputation
than whether you have
beagle ticks or not.
I don't.
Nor pelt lice.
One of those slovenly farmers
is probably wearing my tail
as a necktie by now.
You're paranoid, Foxy.
Farmer, correct me if
l'm misreading the data.
You've destroyed the
scenery, but the alleged
fox remains at large.
Look at Dad's tie.
What will you
three prominent
farmers do now?
I can tell you what
we're not going to do.
We're not going
to let him go.
Stand clear, please.
Stand clear, everyone.
Contact!
Boggis, how many men
work on your farm?
35.
Bunce?
36.
L've got 37.
That... Carry the zero,
divide by two...
That's 108 all together.
Petey, drop everything
and assemble
all 108 members
of our three
combined work forces.
We'll starve them out,
then kill them. Starting in
shall we say, 15 minutes?
An estimated
108 snipers are in position,
surrounding the demolished
fox residence.
Any local animals
appear to be
trapped underground
without provisions
of any kind.
If l had a crystal ball,
l'd predict a fairly grisly
outcome to this situation.
We'll stay on the scene,
watching closely, as
events continue to unfold.
This is going to be
a total cluster-cuss
for everybody.
How long can a fox go
without food or water?
I can only answer as an
opossum, but l can't last more
than another couple hours
before l get completely
dehydrated and
starve to death.
What's that?
- Dad.
- Not a sound.
You scared the
cuss out of us!
A lot of good animals
are probably going to die,
because of you!
We've been digging in
circles for 3 days.
Half the woods have
been obliterated.
Nobody can get out.
My wife's huddled at
the bottom of a flint-mine
with no food, no water,
and 27 starving animal brats!
I just want to see
a little sunshine.
You're nocturnal, Phil.
Your eyes barely even
open on a good day.
I'm sick of your
double-talk!
We have rights!
We don't like you
and we hate your dad.
Now grab some mud,
chew it and swallow it.
I'm not going to
eat mud.
Cuss, yeah, you are.
Don't do that.
Why'd you take
your shoes off?
So l don't break your
nose when l kick it.
l can fight
my own fights.
No, you can't.
Those farmers won't quit
till they've got you and
every member of your family
nailed upside-down to
a bloody stick with
your eyes gorged out.
This is getting
a little too personal.
Give me a minute.
l've got an idea.
What?
It could be good.
Lay it on us.
It might save our lives.
Say the idea!
All right.
Let's try it.
Go to the flint-mine,
tell Mrs. Badger et al.
that help is on the way.
Is help on the way?
I sure as cuss hope so.
Ash, l know what
it's like to feel
different.
I'm not different.
Am l?
We all are.
Him, especially.
But there's something
kind of fantastic about
that, isn't there?
Not to me. l'd prefer
to be an athlete.
Gentlemen,
this time we must dig
in a very special
direction.
We have to kind of
feel out the vibe.
Begin.
Whoo-hoo! Come on!
You guys... You're not...
Come on.
I hit it slap in the middle.
Do you get how incredible
this is?
'Bout a handsome little fox
Let me sing you folks a yarn
Hey, diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum
'Twas a splendid
little fella
Full of wit and grace
and charm
Say zippy-zee, zappy-za,
yappy-yo, google-gum
Like any little
critter needing
Vittles for his little-uns
Well, he stole
and he cheated
And he lied
just to survive
With a doodle-dum,
diddle-di, duddle,
doodle-dum
With a zippy-zo, zippy-zay,
zippy-zappy-zoopy-zee
Oh, doo-dah, doo-dah, day!
Let me take a little tick
To color in the scene
'Cross the valley
lived three yokels
Name of Boggis,
Bunce and Bean
These three crazy jackies
Had our hero on the run
Shot the tail off the cuss
With a fox-shooting gun
But that stylish little fox
Was clever as a whip
Dug as quick as a gopher
That was hyperactive
Now those three farmers sit
'Twhere there a hole
'twas once a hill
Singing diddle-dee,
daddle-da, doddle-do,
doodle-dum
And as far as l can reckon
They're sitting up there still
Singing zippy-zee,
zappy-za, yoppy-yo...
What are you singing,
Petey?
Just making it up
as l went along, really.
That's just weak songwriting.
You wrote a bad song, Petey!
We took everything!
They took everything?
Let me call you back, Petey.
They could be
anywhere.
Digging right
under our feet.
In a sense,
we've only made
matters worse.
We should have
stayed out of it.
l've got an idea.
l still don't have a signal.
Is anybody getting reception?
l don't have
any signal, but l've had
a problem with that.
Crisp up those ducks!
Drag those chickens!
Slow down. We're ahead.
Where are the apples?
Slice them up and
get them in the pan.
I can imagine how painful,
even emotionally,
that must be for you.
It's not the end
of the world.
But how humiliating,
having your whole tail
blown clean off by...
Can we drop it?
Yeah, really good,
sweet, and nice.
They say you're a natural.
True or false?
Answer the question.
True, l guess.
Correct.
Get away, Agnes.
l need a private word
with Kristofferson.
Just a minute. She...
l don't mind.
I just had a brainstorm
for something fantastic
l've got to do.
But l can't do it alone.
I'm not interested.
Hear me out.
No, thanks. Foxes from
your side of the family
take unnecessary risks.
Only because they've
got guts in their blood.
So do we.
Was l a bit rude to Agnes?
Yeah.
I should probably
say something.
l will in a minute.
What's the brainstorm?
In a nutshell?
We're going to steal
back my dad's tail.
Whoa! Whew!
Hmm...
Okay, chief.
Here we go.
Well, it took a near
catastrophe for all of you to
finally take me up on my offer
to have you over
to the flint-mine
for dinner.
Maybe my invitation
got lost in the mail.
Does anybody know
what he's talking about?
No, Clive's right.
ln all seriousness,
excuse me, B.
We do have these
three ugly farmers to
thank for one thing.
Reminding us to be
thankful and aware
of each other.
L'll say it again, aware.
I don't feel safe.
That's because we're not.
You should put
your bandit hat on.
I don't have one,
but l modified
this tube sock.
We look good.
Yeah, we do.
Now, where would you
keep a prized tail,
if you collected them?
L'd probably hang it
over the mantelpiece.
Right. Good.
In fact...
What's that smell?
Ever tasted one of
Mrs. Bean's famous
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snaps?
Well, how do you do?
They are so warm.
Uh-oh.
We got it wrong.
It's not over
the mantelpiece.
The necktie.
Let's go.
Hang on.
Two more.
She's there.
She can't see.
Look at each other.
Here we are. Wow.
L've already had too
much to drink and l'm
feeling sentimental
but l'll say
something anyway,
which nobody wants to admit,
but which is probably true.
We beat them.
We beat those farmers
and now we're triumphantly
eating their roasted chicken,
their sizzling duck,
their succulent turkey,
their foie gras...
Where'd the boys go?
Ash! Kristofferson!
Boys!
That was crazy.
l can't believe
what just happened.
Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!
Where are we?
Kristofferson?
What am l hearing again,
baby? What's happening?
Am l still paranoid?
Cider.
What happened? Something
with cider. That was
dangerous. ls anyone hurt?
We're all hurt!
My entire flint-mine
got demolished!
Apple juice.
Apple juice flood.
Do a head count.
Everybody pick a buddy.
Where'd the boys go?
Ash! Kristofferson!
Ash!
l'm here!
Who's your buddy?
Kristofferson.
Where is he?
I don't know.
Why not?
I lost him.
You lost him?
We were in the kitchen,
trying to find the necktie.
What are you
talking about?
It's my fault.
Where did you get that
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snap,
and why are you wearing
that fake bandit hat?
We went to steal
back your tail.
Kristofferson!
Wrap this little mutt
in a newspaper
and put him in a box
with some holes
punched in the top.
There's one way out of
the sewer, but the
manhole cover's closed
and a station wagon's
parked on it.
Which means,
we're permanently
stuck down here.
You still think
we beat them, Foxy?
Badger's right.
These farmers aren't
going to quit until
they catch me.
I shouldn't have
lied to your face
or fallen off the wagon
and started secretly
stealing chickens on the sly.
I shouldn't have tried to
embarrass these farmers
and cuss with their heads.
I enjoyed it, but l shouldn't
have done it. Now there's
only one way out.
If l hand myself over,
let them kill me,
stuff me and hang me
over their mantelpiece...
You'll do no such thing.
Maybe they'll let
everyone else live.
Oh, why did you have to
get us into this, Foxy?
I don't know, but l have
a possible theory.
I think l need everyone to
think l'm the greatest,
the "fantastic" Mr. Fox.
If they aren't completely
knocked out and dazzled
and intimidated by me
l don't feel good
about myself.
Foxes traditionally like to
court danger, hunt prey
and outsmart predators.
That's what l'm good at.
At the end of the
day, l'm just...
l know. We're
wild animals.
I guess we always were.
If l had all this to do
over again, l'd have
never let you down.
It was always more fun
when we did it together,
anyway.
I love you, Felicity.
I love you, too.
But l shouldn't
have married you.
I tell you about
finding out we
were having a cub?
In the fox trap.
Right.
We were at gunpoint,
and your mother...
Said she's pregnant.
Let me tell it,
okay?
I had no idea how to
get out of this jam.
Then it hit me.
What do foxes do
better than
any other animal?
Dig.
You're stepping
on my lines.
Keep telling it.
So we dug.
And the whole time
l put paw over paw,
scooping dirt and pebble,
your mother digging
like crazy next to me,
l kept wondering,
who is this little
boy going to be?
Or girl.
Or girl.
Because at that point,
we didn't know.
Ash, l'm so glad
he was you.
It's not your fault.
It's mine.
Good-bye.
Well, l guess we should
probably split into a
certain number of groups
and start doing
something, right?
Could l have
a glass of water?
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Kristofferson! Hello!
Can you hear us?
Kristofferson!
They got the boy.
They want to trade
the son for his poppa.
Why did they write
this in letters cut out
of magazines?
To protect their identities.
Oh, but then why'd they
sign their names?
Plus we already knew
who they were because
they're trying to kill us.
"Mr. Fox, we have
your son. lf you ever want
to see him alive again..."
You took
the wrong fox!
I'm his son.
I can see
the resemblance.
What was that?
Dad!
Stop, man, stop!
Look at you, girl.
You're still as
fine-looking as
a crème brûlée.
Am l being flirted with
by a psychotic rat?
Ash!
Let me out!
Excuse me.
May l cut in?
The boy's locked
in an apple crate
on top of a gun locker
in the attic of Bean Annex.
Would you have told me
if l didn't kill you first?
Never.
All these wasted years.
What were you
looking for, Rat?
He's trying to say
something, Dad.
Cider.
Here you are,
Rat. A beaker of Bean's
finest secret cider.
Like melted gold.
He redeemed himself.
Redemption, sure.
But in the end, he's
just another dead rat
in a garbage pail
behind a Chinese
restaurant.
He went bananas.
Yes, he did.
My suicide mission
has been cancelled.
We're replacing it
with a go-for-broke
rescue mission.
In a way, l'm almost glad
that flood interrupted us,
because l don't like
the toast l was giving.
l'm going to start over.
When l look down this table,
with the exquisite
feast set before us,
l see two
terrific lawyers,
a skilled pediatrician,
a wonderful chef,
a savvy real estate agent,
an excellent tailor,
a crack accountant,
a gifted musician,
a pretty good
minnow fisherman,
and possibly the best
landscape painter working
on the scene today.
Maybe a few of you
might even read my column
from time to time.
I tend to doubt it.
I also see a room
full of wild animals.
Wild animals
with true natures
and pure talents.
With scientific-sounding
Latin names that mean
something about our DNA.
Each with his own
strengths and weaknesses
due to his or her species.
Anyway, l think it may very
well be all the beautiful
differences among us
that might just give us the
tiniest glimmer of a chance
of saving my nephew
and letting me make it up
to you for getting us into
this crazy whatever-it-is.
I don't know, it's just
a thought. Thank you for
listening. Cheers, everyone.
Let's eat!
What? l was just
playing along with
the bit he was doing.
Will you join me?
I will.
Oh, all right,
l guess.
Thank you.
Let's start planning.
Who knows shorthand?
Great. Linda, Lutra lutra.
You got some dry paper?
Here we go.
Mole, Talpa europea.
What do you got?
I can see in the dark.
Incredible. We can
use that. Linda?
Got it.
Rabbit,
Oryctolagus cuniculus.
I'm fast.
You bet you are. Linda?
Got it.
Beaver, Castor fiber
l chew through wood.
Amazing! Linda!
Got it.
Badger, Meles meles!
Demolitions expert.
What? Since when?
Explosions, flames,
burning things!
Demolitions expert.
Okay, Linda?
Got it.
Weasel, Mustela nivalis!
Stop yelling!
Ash,
get these little
kids organized
and put together a K. P. unit
to keep this sewer clean.
It's good for morale.
Done. What's K. P.?
Um, l think it
means janitors.
Me. Yo, over here, hey.
l want to go.
l want to fight.
Good. Fabulous.
Microtus pennsylvanicus.
l didn't get a job yet.
Or a Latin name.
What's my strength?
Listen, you're Kylie.
You're an unbelievably
nice guy.
Your job is really
just to be available,
l think.
I don't know your Latin name.
l doubt they had opossums
in ancient Rome.
It's stupendous!
Where's us?
Right here.
Paint an X.
Dear Farmers Boggis,
Bunce and Bean:
l have no alternative
but to agree to your terms.
Move the station wagon
and open the manhole cover
below the drainpipe
by the cobbler shop
and meet me there
at 10:00 A. M. sharp.
I will hand myself
over to you
in exchange for the
boy's safe return.
Cordially, Mr. Fox.
Why'd he write this
in letters cut out
of magazines?
I don't know, but you
did the same thing.
I don't trust this guy.
Anyway, set up the ambush.
Synchronize your clocks.
The time is now 9:45 A.M.
Put these bandit hats on.
Did you bring the boy?
Of course we did.
Say something, kid.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
That doesn't sound
anything like him.
lt's amateur night in Dixie.
What the cuss
is he burning?
Boggis, Bunce, Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
ls that all you've
got, Mr. Fox?
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
These horrible crooks
So different in looks
Were nonetheless
equally mean...
lt's unclear
whether these...
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short, one lean
Horrible crooks
Different in looks
Nonetheless equally mean
28 pinecones fired,
22 targets hit.
Decoy phase, go.
Yes, sir. Domino Santo,
one, two, three.
Dad's on fire!
Foxy, you're on.
We're ready.
I'm going to find him
and bring him back.
I know you will.
Contact!
Are you scared
of wolves?
No. l have a phobia
of them.
I have a thing
about thunder.
Why? That's stupid.
I don't like
needles myself.
Where'd you come
from again? How did
you get in the sidecar?
I feel like l'm
losing my mind.
l've got a fox
on a motorcycle,
with a littler fox
and what looks like to be
an opossum in the sidecar,
riding north on
Farm Lane Seven.
Does that sound like
anything to anybody?
Red,
it's Franklin Bean.
Turn around, get the cuss
back here and pick us
up on the ASAP.
Ah!
You got a credit card?
Sure.
This is what l was saying
about how good you are,
just being available.
A titanium card?
How the cuss did you
qualify for this?
I pay my bills on time.
L've always had good credit.
Come on.
What's this thing you do?
The whistle with
the clicking sound?
What do you mean?
That's my trademark.
Give me
a blueberry.
Blueberry.
You didn't say anything...
You forgot the blueberries?
l did say it! l wrote it
on your paw!
Yeah. lt's written on
the front of your paw.
What's that
white stuff
around his mouth?
I think
he eats soap.
That's not soap.
Then why does he
have that bubbly...
He's rabid. With rabies.
l've heard about
this beagle.
You two go ahead
while l distract him.
Hey.
I can fit through there.
Want to know why?
Why?
Because l'm little.
Give me that shoelace.
Psst! Psst!
lt's me.
I'm rescuing you.
I have mixed feelings
about that.
I don't blame you.
Can you give me
a karate lesson
real quick?
Okay. Stand like this.
Position yourself
on the balls of your feet.
Close your eyes.
You weigh less than
a slice of bread.
I feel there's a tenderness
in your eyes, isn't there?
Yes, l'm right.
Let's review the principal
jumping, flipping, landing.
You're a good boy.
A little lonely, maybe,
but terribly sweet.
Is your name Spitz?
That's German, isn't it?
Now, a rudimentary version
of the cyclone chop.
First, get a running start,
which, obviously,
l can't do here.
Then, at the destination
of the chop,
lean and thrust into
the point of contact,
paw open and straight,
then withdraw instantaneously.
lt's the pull-back
that matters.
The pull-back generates
the force of the impact.
Got it.
Yeah, l'm just going to
chop this thing right off.
He's going to do it.
Why, you're just
as sweet as a...
l thought he said
never look a beagle
in the eye.
Did you chop it?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Kristofferson.
Uh, l'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
You were just trying to
unlock the apple crate.
No. l mean
l'm sorry about...
Oh, you mean from before.
The apology you owed me,
but never actually said.
Right. l'm grumpy. l spit.
l wake up on the
wrong side of the bed.
I'm just different,
apparently.
But it won't
happen again.
Kristofferson,
l'm sorry.
Well, that's
all right, too.
Throw me the
shoelace, please.
You okay?
He's wearing it.
Your tractors uprooted
my tree, your posse
hunted my family,
your gunmen kidnapped
my nephew, your rat
insulted my wife,
and you shot off my tail.
I'm not leaving here
without that necktie.
Kill him!
Actually, we should just go.
Where did l park?
I weigh less than
a slice of bread.
L'll be right back.
Ash!
Dodge the grabbers,
duck the taggers,
jump the twig-basket and
knock the cedar-stick
off the cross-rock!
Hot box!
Ash, that was pure
wild animal craziness.
You're an athlete.
Mmm-hmm.
Here, put this
bandit hat on.
Goggles.
Boggis, Bunce and Bean
One fat, one short
one lean
Are you going to...
Holy
swearing cuss!
Petey, bring us
a ladder, please.
Stand by!
I just intercepted
a high-frequency radio
signal with the can,
they're on
their way home!
Don't turn around.
Where'd he come from?
Where'd you come from?
What are
you doing here?
Canis lupus.
Vulpes vulpes.
I don't think he speaks
English or Latin.
l'm asking if he thinks
we're in for a hard winter.
He doesn't
seem to know.
I have a phobia of wolves!
What a beautiful creature.
Wish him luck, boys.
Good luck, wolf.
Good luck out there.
These three, in this
reporter's opinion,
obsessed farmers
remain convinced
the fox in question will
eventually reappear. Why?
Foxes aren't meant
to live in a sewer.
They're refugees.
All they have to eat
down there is...
Trash!
And not much of it.
Uh-huh.
Thank you, farmers.
For Action 12,
this is Dan Peabody.
What is it?
His tonsils are
a little swollen.
Is it serious?
No. Hopefully,
he won't have
to lose them.
Lose the tonsils?
I'm hungry.
Have some water. Here.
We try to
keep things simple.
This is the first time
l've been to a party where
no one serves anything.
My darlings.
- Where are we going?
- Nobody knows.
We were in the middle
of a meditation practice.
Watch your step.
Let's see, where
does this lead?
Oh, no. Foxy,
it's filthy.
Keep a good grip,
everyone.
This better be worth it.
l think l see
a little sliver of light.
What's this? ls it a door?
You're a terrible actor,
Foxy.
Do you smell
something? ls that Freon?
Shh! l'm going to open this
trap door and see if
something's on the other side.
I highly doubt it, though.
There's probably
just more sewer.
Wouldn't it be
surprising if...
Open it.
Look, there's a whole
enormous, glorious, gigantic
supermarket up here.
And they close
early on weekends.
You really are kind
of a quote-unquote
"fantastic" fox.
I try. Get enough to
share with everybody.
Remember, the Rabbits
are vegetarians and Badger
supposedly can't eat walnuts.
l guess now that
Kristofferson's dad is already
down to single pneumonia
he'll be going
home soon.
Actually, when he spoke
to me from the hospital
he said he was
already talking
to Weasel
about real estate
availability in our
sewer system.
Really? Well, now's
the time to buy.
Ha!
Okay. l get it.
Is that your trademark?
I'm pregnant again.
Wow.
I think we're
both glowing.
Do another toast,
Dad.
Okay, uh...
They say all foxes
are slightly allergic
to linoleum.
But it's cool to
the paw. Try it.
They say my tail needs
to be dry-cleaned
twice a month.
But now it's
fully detachable.
See?
They say our tree may
never grow back. But one
day something will.
These crackles
are made of
synthetic goose
and these giblets come
from artificial squab.
Even these apples look fake.
But at least they've
got stars on them.
My point is,
we'll eat tonight,
and we'll eat together.
And even in this
not particularly
flattering light,
you are without a doubt
the five-and-a-half most
wonderful wild animals
l've ever met in my life.
So let's raise our boxes.
To our survival.
How was that?
Mmm.
That was a good toast.
Well, there she goes
with a brand new love affair
Dancing with him
like she don't even care
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance
Well, who would have known
that just yesterday
She danced with me
the very same way
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, let her dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, dance
Well, l"ll find me
a new love
And then she'll see
Someone else
will be dancing with me
Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, let her dance
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance with him
Well, let her dance
with him all night long
Let her dance
to our favorite song
Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance
dance, dance
English - US - PSDH