Fantasies (2021) - full transcript

FANTASIES

Today's Thursday?

No.

We can have sudden desires.

Yes, of course. I didn't mean...
I'm sorry.

It's normal it becomes a drag.

19 years of marriage.

How do others manage?

No idea.

Maybe we embrace boredom.

No, don't say that.



What about roleplay?

Roleplay?

If it's you and me, but...

but not us.

- Who do you want me to be?
- Let's think.

My ideas are pretty basic.

A mechanic.

A cop!

A fireman.

Fireman, put out my fire.

You wouldn't rather screw
a real fireman?

You don't get it.

What a pain,
you make no efforts.

I want to do it with you.



Come on.

- Let's try.
- I won't be good at it.

Yes, you will.

I'm not asking for Shakespeare.

I'm sure you'll be fine.

Goodnight.

LUDOPHILIA
Being excited by playing a role

- Ma'am.
- Officer.

- Shut off the engine.
- Yes.

Know why I stopped you?

No.

Broken tail light.

It's very dangerous.
Registration and license.

I have nothing on me.

- No?
- Nothing.

Out of the car, ma'am.

Endangering others makes you laugh?

No.

I'll have to give you a ticket.

Can we find an arrangement?

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

Like this!

I really believed you.

You were spot on.

Thanks.

To think you rented a uniform.

They didn't have lieutenant.

Next time I'll try lieutenant.

Yeah...

Lieutenant.

Packing a weapon in his holster.

...in the wake of ECB's decision

to push off its rate hike to 2020,

while launching
a new array of giant loans.

Measures were taken.

AXA will feel the consequences.

And with the two TLTROs

we saw the same downward trends
in the South American market.

Our core target.

Lebrun? You're not interested?

Yes, I am.

And I was thinking about...

new integrated spreadsheet software.

For accounting.

Good.

That's not the subject.

Stay focused, Lebrun.

What are you doing?

Why are you here?

You're not at Rayan's?

He lost his keys.
We're waiting for his mom.

Okay, but you can...

wait at the park with him.

It's full of screaming kids.

Play an escape game with Rayan.

- I have no money.
- Listen...

Here.

- Really?
- Yes, go have fun.

Excellent.

Have a good time.

- Hello, Doctor.
- Mrs. Pécheux, come in.

Sorry I'm late,
my secretary left early.

Her daughter is sick.

Nothing serious?

Just cystitis.
I prescribed Fosfomycine.

Please have a seat for a moment.

Yes.

Your turn.

My turn.

That smock suits you, Doctor.

I received the results
of your bloodwork.

Already?

No need to examine me
in greater depth?

No, no need.

It's pretty clear, and...
I fear the news is not good.

I must have been...

very, very naughty.

I must deserve...

You have hepatitis.

What?

Hepatitis is chronic liver inflammation.

- The causes are often...
- I see.

But none of this is very sexy.

No, especially hepatitis C.

So I'm going to prescribe
a fairly strong antiviral.

It's an expensive treatment,

but it's reimbursed.
Got supplemental insurance?

Yes...

Great.
Can I have your insurance card?

I don't have it.

Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.

Bring it next time,
and you can pay then.

I'll see you in 3 weeks
to see how it's going.

You may experience headaches,

even vomiting,
but it beats cirrhosis.

There you go.

I don't get it, Vincent.

Stay in character or start over.

This is supposed to turn us on.

Why do I have hepatitis?

Yes, I admit...

Wait!

Imagine this.

A bad car accident.
You get to the hospital in a coma

with a nice big skull fracture.

- I've reviewed ER techniques.
- Cool.

How am I going to cum in a coma?

Why must two people who live together
end up at war?

For outside security,
the world asks a very high price.

Permanent destruction
of your personality.

I cast no blame, Marianne.

It's just that...

Okay, no it's fine.
Don't worry, it was very good.

Ismène, sit back down.

Gaël, perfect.
You were both great.

That's what matters.

Working on characters
different from you.

So... you, the newbie.

- Me?
- Your name again?

Vincent Lebrun.

"Vincent" will do.
This isn't high school.

Get up, please.

Stand center-stage.

Now, Vincent,

I want you to act
the polar opposite of yourself.

No thinking!

Be.

Vincent!

Excuse me.

Not asleep?

You're not sleeping?

No, I'm watching Money Heist.

What's that?

Masked crooks with city names
rob a bank with a Professor

out for revenge in Spain.

Okay.

Come here.

I like your interest
in audiovisual media.

Maybe...

later...

you'll come with me on shoots.

On what?

Follow your dreams, son.

Do you know...

deep down...

what your passions are?

You don't know yet?

That's what's beautiful.

Goodnight, sweetie.

Yeah.

He's lost it.

Vincent?

Vincent!

Hello, excuse me.

Not hear you.
One hell of leak you got.

What are you doing?

Gotta change a pipe.

I have many pipes.

- Want my big fat pipe?
- Stop!

Maxime's here.
This water is crazy!

Yes, madam...

Look at this mess!
Shut that off!

- Shut it off!
- Okay...

You're no fun.

Hepatitis, no. Leaks, no.
I do this to make you happy.

I had Janusz help
with my Polish accent.

Now I drilled a hole for nothing!

You drilled a hole?
Are you stupid or what?

When you play fireman,
will you burn the house down?

I'm just investing myself.

They say Brando
stuffed Kleenex in his mouth.

No, he used lemon rinds
for the bitter taste.

To show his contempt.
A masterstroke!

Like this.

What is this craziness?

Think Coppola's coming to our kitchen
with a role?

Wake up.
You're a 50-year-old accountant.

That's a low blow.

It's true, but nasty.

Call Janusz and have him come.

I refuse to wake up in this mess.

It may sound cliché,
but as far as emotions go,

we're all illiterate.

Why can't we let ourselves
feel joy and happiness?

We'd get on well together.

All my life
I've been reasonable.

Middle of the road, lukewarm.

Don't say that.
On the contrary, I find you brave.

Don't mind me!

Damn you.

We fight and you cheat?

Not at all. We're rehearsing.

Rehearsing what?

Meet Ismène, my classmate.

Hello, ma'am.

- What class?
- Studio 14.

You must be proud. He's talented.

You're not at work?

You took a day off?

No.

What do you mean?

I took off... a little more than a day.

Meaning?

Not your last week of vacation!

Even more.

More than a week?

I resigned.

What?

You're out of your mind.

I think I'll be leaving you.

Thank you.

No, we haven't finished.

We're working.

No... I don't understand you.

Come on.

Maybe a short break?

All my life, I've been...

middle of the road, lukewarm.

Lukewarm.

Don't say that.
On the contrary, I find you brave.

Your obsession with theater
will last six months.

You know it. You never commit,
you always procrastinate.

Like fixing the shutter.

This is different.
I can feel it, it feels right.

What stops you from working

and living your passion,

as you say,

on the side?

No... I won't live "on the side".

I'm sick of living my life on the side.

That's over with.

I'm moving to Paris,
where things happen, casting calls.

What are you telling me?

You want to break up?

No...

We don't understand each other.

Let's be honest.

I see you're unsatisfied too.

I don't know.

Maybe we should have gone on
with Thursday-night missionary style.

You sure it's tonight?

He said today's episode.

Is he okay otherwise?

Yeah, well, he's working...

He goes to auditions.
He likes it.

There he is!

That was quick.

Wow, he looks great on TV!

Send him a text.

Say he was wonderful.

Honey?

See my keys?

- On the credenza.
- Thanks.

So was he on?

He was great.

Take care of yourself.

It's just a stake-out.

Enjoy your evening.

Bye.

Can I watch my movie now?

Sure, go ahead.

Damn!

I forgot to get my green dress
from the cleaner's.

And tomorrow
I have a conf-call till 8 pm.

Sunday it's closed.

Maybe Monday before work.

Or I cancel lunch with Hélène.

It would be the second time.

No, I can't cancel.

It's important we talk.

- Like it, honey?
- So good!

Fuck.

That's what's so weird.

It used to be great.
He'd look at me and I'd melt, but now...

I don't know.

Trying to conceive ruined it all.

You're too obsessed with it.

He must realize.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I love him
but I've faked it for a year.

A year?

Maybe not a year.

Seriously, you should tell him.

If you end up leaving him,
then it'll hurt him.

It's dumb. Just talk to him.

Yeah.

Karim always makes you cum?

But... often.

But I...

How do you manage?
I need to, or I wither.

Talk to him, really.

Who is Daddy's little Bianca? Who?

It's you, sweetheart.

Hélène's good?

Yeah.

They repainted their living room.

Otherwise... we also spoke about...

We were talking, and I thought

I should talk to you.

Go on.

It's a little embarrassing, but...

Go ahead.

Roll over!

See how she rolled over?

She's amazing, a circus animal!

You're too much, honey!

What a smart little baby!

Bravo, Bianca!

What were you saying?

So while we were having tea,

we started talking.

Sorry, it's Grimaud. I have to answer.

Just a sec.

Obviously for you,

his touch is a turn-on.

What's wrong?

Fuck.

Tell me, honey.

My cousin... Laetitia...

She had an accident.

- Honey!
- Died on the spot.

Fuck.

We were raised together.

Honey...

She was like...

This is terrible!

- Honey...
- Terrible!

Honey, I'm here.

I'm here.

I'm here.

Don't worry.

DACRYPHILIA
Being excited by tears

How do you feel?

All right.

I'm worried about my aunt.

I understand.

But she can count on you.

Yes.

You impressed me.

Really?

Yes.

You were dignified.

You didn't cry.

I don't know.

You're with me now, honey.

You can express your sorrow.
You must.

She was so...

precious.

Yes.

She'll leave a gaping hole.

Even I...

Sorry.

Excuse me.

No.

Don't worry.

I adored her.

- I adored her.
- I know.

I know.

It'll be fine.

No, drive, please.

We have to go.
Everyone's waiting for us.

Start the car, please.

Take a left.

- Can you help with my quiche?
- Of course.

Thanks.

Watch a movie tonight?

Good idea.

I've never seen Schindler's List.

Tonight, really? It's pretty heavy.

What about that movie?
Who mentioned it?

A Scottish guy in a coma
in the hospital.

He wakes up, his family's dead
and he's missing a leg.

Why not something dumb
like X-Men?

Something light.

You okay otherwise?

You're holding up?
Not thinking about her too much?

It's been 4 days.
You never mention it.

I figure you must miss her.

I try not to think about her.

I try.

You mustn't feel regret.

Why do you say that?

You said she texted you that morning.

The morning of...

You didn't call her back.

- You couldn't know.
- Know what?

That they'd take so long
to extract her body.

That she'd be agonizing there,

all alone for two hours.

Seriously?
What are you doing?

Nothing! I mean...

I thought it would do you good.

Do me good?

You talk about my dead cousin
and you...

You're weird.

I swear you are!

Sorry!

Come on, my little honey-pie.

I'll go for a walk with Bianca.

It'll do us good
to see your friends at the park.

So? Ready for a little walk?

I promise I'll come for her
tomorrow morning.

I dunno,
Karim really doesn't like animals.

Who cares?

Lock her in the bathroom.
She's housetrained!

Please!

We really need a night alone.

To rekindle the flame.

The dog is such a bother?

No, it's that...

she always gets all his attention.

He really loves her, so...

He pays you no attention
and you can't...

Exactly.

Why didn't you just start with that?

Of course I say yes for that.

- Really?
- Yes!

- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.

Unbelievable!
This can't be happening.

How come the door was open?

I went to get the mail, as usual.

No idea why she followed me!

You know to shut the door!

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm upset, I hate myself!

Think she ran away?

I hope she wasn't run over!

Stop, don't say that!

No, she must be scared
and looking for us.

I'll go.

Wait!

No!

I think it's better to stay here.

If she comes back.

No?

What do you think?
That I can just sit and wait?

She's my dog!

Missing

I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault.

I should have put up a fence.

She'll be back tomorrow.

I hope so.

Coming to bed?

I can't sleep now.

Here... can you put these up tomorrow?

Ran away?

I don't know what happened.

I put her in the bathroom
like you said.

She hated it. She whimpered.

I was smoking in the living room.

Karim always opens the window.

And she jumped out.

No way, this is a disaster!

I feel just awful.

Promise never to tell Romain.

- What? Why?
- Look at me.

Promise me.
Bianca never came here, okay?

- Can't you explain?
- I can't.

You put me in such deep shit.

I don't fucking believe it.

Sweetie!

I am so stupid.

Hey kids, did any of you see a dog?

No!

- Are you okay, honey?
- Where are you?

Driving around the neighborhood.

Put up the fliers?

- Every last one.
- Perfect.

I'll try to come home early.

- I have a meeting.
- See you later.

I love you.

Hello, ma'am...

Can I leave my number,
if you find her?

Why didn't you answer?

Sorry, I looked all over.

Why didn't you put up the fliers?

Why didn't I see any?

Be honest.
What did you do to my dog?

Nothing.

You don't like Bianca.
You're jealous.

You let her run.
Say so!

- No!
- Admit it.

I love her,
I love how you bond.

So why are there no fliers?

Can we go inside?
I'd like some water.

Listen to me.

It's my fault.
I should have told you before.

I have a problem.

A problem?

Yes, I...

- I'm...
- You're what?

Sorry, it's hard to talk about.
I think...

I think I'm ill.

Ill how?

I'm so scared to talk about it,
it'll seem...

completely...

- It's a little...
- Don't tell me...

Don't tell me it's...

What?

Don't tell me it's cancer.

Maybe. Maybe a small cancer.

But we're not 100% sure.

What's a small cancer?

No, but...

Not you, not now...

No, Lisa!

Don't worry, sweetheart.

I'm here with you.

We'll fight this...

- I'm with you.
- Don't worry.

- You're my angel.
- Yes!

Don't worry.

Don't cry.

Actually...

yes... cry.

Come.

It'll be fine.

Got a cigarette?

You quit, come on!

Come on, don't worry.

Can we postpone this?

It's right here.
Cut it out.

Come.

It's fine.

Finally!

My sister.

Hello, Mélanie.
It's a pleasure.

Me too... Jean.

Yes, I figured.

Shall we kiss?

Go on in.

Hey.

- You good?
- And you?

SOROPHILIA
being excited by the beloved's sister

Sophie said you work for a paper.

Not easy in the digital age!

What paper is it again?

Yes, that's right.

Jean lived in London for 4 years.

What an amazing city.
I love its energy.

- Was coming back tough?
- Not with the Eurostar.

Coming home was a good thing.

Because I found love in Paris.

Sweetheart.

We started to think
you were avoiding us.

Mom.

Or that you didn't exist.

Dad!

No, they're right.

With my job, I haven't been around.

Everything that matters to Sophie,
matters to me.

You.

Her parents.

Her si...

Her si...

Your sister.

You mean a lot to her.

She always talks about you.

It's mutual.
"Jean this, Jean that..."

We know you well.

Me too.

For example, I know that...

Mélanie loves horseback riding
on Sundays.

Bathes twice a day.

I know that
her favorite color is purple.

That...

her favorite film is...

The Young Girls of Rochefort.

That as a kid,
she always wanted pony tails

and had a ski accident in Méribel

in the summer of 2002,
February 12th.

A fractured collarbone.

See? I talk about you a lot.

Where is the restroom?

Down there on the left.
England-style!

He's acting weird.

It's normal,
meeting the in-laws is terrifying.

Worse than an exam.

Your father's family
was horrible to me.

Stop!

Think your mother was nice?

She was a mean woman.

She was modest.

Having a fight now?

Anyway, he's really nice.

He's wonderful.

You okay, honey?

Jean?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

It's all good.

What is it?

I must have eaten something,
I feel ill.

Want to go home?

It'll be fine.

They really adore you.

I'm moved
how you remember my stories.

Your speech impressed my sister.

- She was impressed?
- Extremely.

Can we talk for a sec?

You okay?

Yes, go on, I'm listening.

For Sophie's 35th birthday,
we're planning a surprise party.

I'll need your help.

I have your number.
Can we meet for coffee to discuss it?

Coffee this week?

Yes.

Or the week after,
but I want to move ahead.

This week isn't possible.

No, I can't.
I have too much work this week.

This week, next week,
we can't email?

I'll give you my email
and we'll get it over with that way.

Coffee by email?

- Okay, if you prefer.
- I prefer.

What are you discussing?

Nothing... nothing at all.

Coming for coffee?

Your sister-in-law again.

Tell her I'm not in.

I understand you're not in
and so does she.

This is like kindergarten.

Okay, I got it.

Unusual choice.

I like having meetings here.

Really?

Yes... it's unpretentious.

You refuse to look at me?

Sorry.

Something to drink? You hungry?

No thanks.

Let's not beat around the bush.

I sent 3 emails, 10 text messages,

I have to go
via your assistant to talk.

I need a few addresses,
and your help the day of.

Honestly
I don't understand your attitude.

Did I do something wrong?

That's impossible.

My sister waxes poetic about you,
but I really feel...

she means someone else.

Want to know the truth?

I love wasting time
sitting in a snack bar.

I...

- I...
- I...

I what?

Can you say one full sentence?

It's like you die after each word.

A few months ago,

we'd just started going out,

Sophie showed me a picture of you.

I was blown away.

I was... very happy with your sister.

I didn't understand
why I felt that way.

Are you judging me?

Go on, continue.

I asked to see more pictures of you.

Tons of pictures.
I went onto your Insta,

I spent hours and hours and hours.

And... that's it.

That's why
I didn't want to see you again.

I asked you to come here

hoping it would lessen my feelings.

But...

But it's crazy, even under these lights,

you're luminous.

You're a total psycho.

You realize what you're saying?

You're totally twisted.

Or totally stupid!

My sister's dying to marry you

and you say you love me?

I can't believe this!

What do I do with this now, you loser?
What do I do?

Do I tell my sister you're a psycho?

What do I do?

Go get help!

Mélanie!

It's beyond my control.

Shut up.
I don't believe one word.

I'm in love with you.

That's impossible!

Leave my sister then!

I'll leave her for you right now.

Not for me!

- Why are you here?
- You're kidding.

My sister's in a bad state!

But you told me to leave her.

What? I never said that!

You told me to confront what I feel.

Enough with that.

I can't fight what I feel.

You're the woman I love.

If you don't feel the same,
well then...

I'd rather you leave.

Please, go away.

Please.

I know it's wild.

I've never felt
anything like this before.

What should I do?

Go on living
with my heart in a hanky?

Heart in a hanky?

I don't know...

Sorry, Mélanie.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, forgive me.

I made you tea.

Thanks, honey.

Is he asleep?

These past weeks have been tough.

It's normal.

It's an enormous change.

But he'll get used to it.

He's so darn cute.

He has your smile.

He's so cute.

I adore him.

Excuse me.

Mom?

What?

Come in.

First, let me express
my sincerest condolences.

So...

The situation is fairly unusual.

Your father left precise instructions.

With this letter to give you
before his funeral.

There must be a mistake.

Is this a joke?

No.

Unfortunately, there are often men

who wait to die to reveal their secrets.

Who is this woman?

Again, I totally understand

how tough this is.

It's your father, it's his last wish.

He wanted you to invite her,
and especially their daughter.

Their?

Your sister Camille.

I mean, your half-sister.

He didn't spare me a thing.

At least you've made up.

That makes me happy.

I'll leave you two.
See you at the cemetery.

Yes, Mom.

It was a nice ceremony,
despite everything.

Yes.

Did you talk to her?

To who?

Our sister.

Yeah, briefly.

His friends and colleagues all agree.

Dominique was the epitome of kindness.

Always there to lend an ear.

First in his class at Sciences Po,

he never flaunted his knowledge,

his diplomas.

World traveler, he would find solace

in Canada's Great Plains

or Argentina's pampas.

He now embarks on a new voyage.

A voyage undertaken...

far too early.

Let's go. I'm too excited.

Me too.

THANATOPHILIA
being excited by death

That was amazing.

The priest's eulogy

got me all worked up.

Me too.

A stroke at 50 is so unexpected.

Despite all the Pilates.

Still no one?

Obituaries

Did you call your cousin Paolo?

Yes.

It was just pneumonia.
He's recovering.

Come.

Come beside me.

But today, for the first time,

the Queen flew the flag at half-mast

at Buckingham Palace.

See?

All those flowers.

So much love.

So young.

So beautiful.

An accident is...

It's horrible.

Because...

It's horrible, but...

An accident...

Someone you love dearly...

Marie, stop.

What?

I know you. You're faking it.

- No.
- Yes!

You fake it to make me happy.

Think I'm blind?

It's not the same
if we don't know them.

Fine, let's go see Richard.

Hello, girls.

We made you a tart.

- You're so sweet.
- It's normal.

Neighbors look after one another.

How are you?

I just got back from the hospice.

I can't believe it.

Richard...

we're here.

A real miracle.

Total remission.

You are sure?

The oncologist...

never saw anything like it.
The survival rate is barely 1%.

One percent.

They're calling it a real miracle.

Your intentions are admirable,
but it's grueling work.

We're ready.

We're lucky to have free time.

in good health and well off.

I must say,
volunteers can come in very handy.

When there's no next of kin,
or they've fled.

You can't imagine how many people

hear the word "disease" and run.

Not to mention "death".

"Death is a robe everyone will wear."

An African proverb.

Well...

with more people like you,
the country would be better.

Thank you from them.

Thank you from us.

"All men are condemned to die,

"but the time of execution is not known.

"They say it's nothing.

"That we don't suffer.

"That we go gently.

"That death in this manner

is made easier."

Cremation?

Are you sure?

Your loved ones will be happy
to gather somewhere together.

Mrs. Massaud?

An urn?

Sort of sad.

You had a lovely life,
you deserve a lovely sendoff.

A beautiful funeral.

You attended Mrs. Santini's funeral.

It's good to feel implicated,

but you must keep some distance.

You can't get emotionally involved.

You can't take on
every family's sorrow.

Your commitment is admirable,

but take care of yourselves.

This place isn't the right fit.

Let's try younger, more popular.

Not children! We're not crazy.

No!

I don't know... car accidents.

Here, the families are relieved,
not sad.

With Covid,
we missed all of last year's funerals.

Don't remind me.

Maybe we should target
more diverse communities.

You're right.

We missed out on those Thais.

Their ceremonies
are often well organized. Very effusive.

What a dream.

Hey, girls.

- You look like death warmed over.
- Funny!

It's good to downplay.

- Good luck for the contest.
- What contest?

You didn't know?

Steve's a finalist for "Sexiest Nurse".

No idea who signed me up.

I said yes for the cause.
We need to renovate here.

I'm off to see Mrs. Asiram.

Tonight's her last night.

I'll accompany her.

Her last night?

I'm afraid so.

Later, lovebirds.

I'll come along.

See this?

Steve has 20,000 followers.

It's wild how people adore him.

He's exceptional.

He'll become famous,
our little nurse.

You're beautiful.

Too beautiful for me.

Congratulations.

Thanks, but it's a group effort.

Can I kiss you?

Here, champ.

That's nice,
but I have to go see my grandma.

Come on, toast with us!

We won't be staying late.

All right.

Thanks, now I gotta run.

Please... one moment.

It's terrible.

Steve...

our Steve had a motorcycle accident.

He died on the spot.

Happy birthday, my love.

Wait a sec. Okay...

Slowly, slowly.

Happy birthday, Clément!

You're all crazy.

Don't blow, take a hit instead.

Okay, I see.

I was with friends,
towards the end of dinner,

like before dessert,

and she says to me:
"I'm horny."

I swear.

We'd drunk,
things quickly spun out control.

She's a friend?

I've known them both since kindergarten.

So you had an orgy?

Totally impromptu.

A little orgy...
that's how coexistence begins.

Hold on...

last week,

I had a Tinder date.
It went really well.

We talked and laughed,
he's really funny.

So I go back to his place.

I'm there, and we start drinking.

Then what does he say?

He has a roommate,
who's just next door.

It was obvious,
I knew what he had in mind.

And?

What happens on Tinder
stays on Tinder.

No, come on!

- You screwed them both?
- Not my style.

Think about it, let's be honest.

Two girls

like, two girls and a guy.

It's cool. I wouldn't say no.

You blurt out
you want to screw Will.

No, I said both of you.

But in reality...

in real reality...

it's more for you.

I own it.

I can give you all a bedroom.

Strike while the fantasy's hot.
Go for it.

It's not possible.

You're not into me?

Nothing to do with that.

What's it got to do with?

- We miss an episode?
- She's gorgeous!

What's the problem?

This is serious.

What is it?

Something's up.

We stopped having sex.

What?

Lame excuse!

You're kidding.

It's true, we're...

- You stopped sex?
- Yes.

We're abstinent.

LOL.

- It's not possible.
- It is.

You've gone Catholic,
no sex before marriage?

It has nothing to do
with religion or morality.

You just said it,
everyone fucks everyone.

Sex is now meaningless, worthless.

We never said that!

A little!

Our fantasy is "long term".

Mine too!
But where does "no sex" fit in?

Your relationships
never last very long.

You're missing the point.

What matters is
it turns us on.

The pleasure we get from it is...

wild.

What pleasure?
There's nothing.

The pleasure of not making love.

So you're saying that...

for two years there's been...

nothing.

No, more like one year.

A year?

Was there a mystical revelation?

No, we were into something.

Trying to make love without touching.

And we watched lots of videos
about tantric sex.

Tantrism is a turn-on,
not a turn-off!

This is an extension of that.

I bet you both cheat.

We're faithful!

- You're faithful?
- Yeah!

You're faithful in non-fucking.

That's right.

I said they wouldn't get it.

Admit it's weird.
What does it stem from?

No weirder than your hookups.

Sorry, but it's a waste.

You're beautiful
and no one gets pleasure.

We get pleasure.

Want to go home?

I really want to.

Me too.

I really want to...

to not make love.

HYPOPHILIA
being excited by not making love

You're the first to make me happy.

You know that?

You too.

So happy.

- If you're over it, tell me.
- Sure.

It won't happen.
It'd destroy everything we've built.

I totally agree.

I dreamt we were making love.

Really?

How was it?

Actually, you were a bad lay.

Bastard!

They never stop, what a pain!

It balances out with us.

I bet he's going down on her.

Poor woman.

Now I'm wavering. Maybe doggy-style?

- Missionary.
- Really?

You'll see, it'll end now.

You're good.

Is it shorter and shorter?

I think she's frustrated.

They barely speak anymore.

So fucking depressing.

I give them a month.

She'll meet a colleague.

Totally the type to fall for a DHR,

a Mathieu or a Fred.

For sure.

Goodnight.

- I love you.
- Me too.

So much better in a theater.

Totally.

It's amazing
how he segues from genre to genre.

It's all in their eyes,
the intensity of their desire.

- It's stunning.
- It really is.

It's Clément, they're at Lion's.

Come on, let's go!

- Please, baby!
- I have to wake up early.

Just for a little drink, in and out.

Okay, but... in and out.

Goodbye!

Bye, guys!

Why are we leaving?

Let's go have a beer.

I won, I won!

Just one little beer.

Let's go home.

Let's go.

My love!

This looks like where we live.

Think so?

Yeah?

That would be practical.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

I didn't do anything.

I'm so hot.

I'm hot.

Take off your jacket.

- It's too hot.
- You're beautiful.

You too.

I love you, baby.

- I'm hot too.
- You too.

- Go on.
- I'm hot.

Go on, go on...

What?

Come on, you perverts, get out.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

France has the best police force.

Are you serious?

We practice sexual abstinence
and you saved us.

Just in time, thank you.

What you doing?

You're charged
with indecent exposure!

Want assault too?

- You don't get it.
- What?

Thanks to you, we didn't screw.

Enough of this crap!

Stay with your friend.

Thanking you isn't a crime!

Sexual abstinence.
Now I've heard it all.

Sickos.

Timothée! Three times now!

It wasn't me.

Let's get back to Roman numerals.

Who knows what "X" stands for?

Alexandre.

Is Mom or Dad picking you up?

- Dunno.
- You don't know?

You don't even care to ask?

You're amateurish, Louise.
You'll never succeed in life.

Sorry, I apologize, I got held up.

We all get held up.
And no after-school ladies today.

It's fine,
but tell Louise who's coming.

She's clueless.
She'll end up unstable.

See you Monday.

I'm sorry, the mother was late.

Okay, but it sucks.
They come home in an hour.

Let's go.
We can do lots of stuff in 45 minutes.

You're in frame.

Take it easy, Tarantino, chill.

- Look, a second camera.
- Really?

Think people get off

over a fixed shot?

What people?

People on internet.

Are you serious?

I thought it was a joke.

We can film ourselves.
I'm no exhibitionist!

What about swingers' clubs?

There's no comparison.

No.

You're sulking now?

Think it over.
Imagine the consequences.

My school, our kids... it's obvious!

There are so many videos online,
no one will notice.

It turns me on.

I know it turns you on.

I know my old perv.

But no is no.

So let's do it for us.

You promise?

Cross my heart, honey.

"Rec".

Come... come here.

Come.

Look at the camera
once in a while.

Not too much.

There.

AUTAGONISTOPHILIA

Being excited by being watched
while making love

Not bad!

I pull up... and reverse shot.

It's pretty exciting!

Crazy we never tried before.

You look good here.

I don't know...

Wait, let me show you something,
a website.

It's called "HomeSex".

Look.
It's couples having fun like us.

Look.

This one.

Ugly fishnet stockings!
Looks like my grandma.

For sure, you're classier.

You'd get so many hits.

Again? Stop with that!

For once I have a real project.

Call that a project?

Sorry, it's a fantasy, not a project.

Let's move on.

I had ideas for directing,

for scripts, camera shots.

I'm sure of it, sweetie.

I know you're talented.

- Really?
- Yes.

The way you photo-shopped my cousin!

Seriously, it was miraculous.

Be sensible, okay?

Fine.

Got it.

However, I'm into making more videos,
just for us.

Saturday we can go to the Nefertiti?
Gang Bang Night.

We'll have a ball.

I'm tired now.

Fuck.

Where the fuck is Francisco?

Francisco, where is he?

Come on...

Yes, Francisco, it's Jérémy.

Jérémy Michel, yes.

Good and you?

Listen, Jérémy, I wanted...
Francisco, sorry!

I wanted to know
if you got my last email?

There's a mistake.

Maybe it's even a virus...
anyway, you should erase it.

No, don't open the video!

Don't open the video, erase it for good.

I'm counting on you.

Thanks.

Go tell your sister it's dinnertime.

A porn star is born!

Yes, hello, Francisco? It's Jérémy.
Jérémy Michel!

How could you? You're disgusting!

About the video!
It's not erased, it's online!

Now I'm in deep shit!

I don't know who, I don't know how,

find a way to take it down!

Jérémy!

We're waiting for you.

Yes, I'm coming.

What do I do now?

I'm fucked, you hear me? Fucked!

Yeah, right!

Don't talk to him like that!

- You stink.
- Yeah, yeah.

You okay, hon?

- You're pale.
- Really?

He hasn't even eaten yet.

Who was that?

Nothing, it was for work.

You have a job?

Dad's a photographer.

Right.

You call that work?

Noémie!

Stop.

Do you realize our English
is better than yours?

If you want to fuck,
we'll stay in our rooms.

Don't say words like "fuck"
to your parents!

All I ask

is that you lay off the sarcasm.

I really don't appreciate it.

Don't speak to us like that.

Mom? Telephone.

What about it?

Unknown caller. I hate that.

I don't feel well.

I'm going to bed.

Not tonight!

Goodnight, kids.

I asked you here
because Timothée is very agitated.

His grades have suffered.

I thought maybe
something happened at home

that explains this behavior.

Nothing special.

No?

There was...
the death of his hamster, Croquette.

He loved him.

Even if he cut off his leg.

Cut off his leg?

Yeah, he cut off a leg.

It was an experiment.
It wasn't to hurt.

Yeah, but okay...
there are rules to respect.

Maybe we can spank his ass?

No, not at all.

I meant discipline, not violence.

Maybe it's a practice
you'd like to share.

No?

Patrick?

Excuse me, I...

I didn't mean to annoy you,
or to moralize.

Moralize?
We know your morals.

This is unbearable. Let's go.

I'm sorry... Patrick!

Patrick! What's gotten into you?

- Why were you rude?
- I'll explain.

Jérémy, it's me.

The parent of a student
just made very clear allusions to...

Jérémy, tell me the truth.

What?

I don't believe it!

Pick me up on the double.
I won't take the bus.

Start your fucking car!

I swear it's not my fault.

Play me for a fool!

I hit the wrong button.

I'll lose my job!
Is that what you wanted?

What an idiot!

I'm so embarrassed!

I tried to take it down.

It went via a server in Nigeria.
Too late.

A server in Nigeria?

Liar! It excites you.
Your fantasies...

they're all you care about.

I'd said no, dammit!

Think about the kids?

Of course I did. But they're strong.

Oh yeah?

We gave them
the taste of freedom.

The taste of freedom?

Freedom isn't seeing Mom
doing it doggy-style.

I can't look at you, stop.

Pull over. I want to get out!

Okay.

I'll never forgive you, Jérémy.

I hate you.

Where are you going?

Where's Mom?

I don't know.

She must be so upset.
But I can understand.

It'll be fine.
It'll blow over in a few days.

Days?

You don't realize.

I got teased all day long.

Really? They know in middle school?

Yeah.

It's more than 100K.

100 what?

100,000 people saw your dick.

Sorry, kids. It was a mistake.
And you pay the price.

Don't worry, it's fine.

Lots of nice comments.

They even ask if Mom's a pro.

Are you crazy or what?

Come now!

Forget it. I won't go back to school.

Hugo.

The Swiss cheese, please?

Thanks.

I think you're good.

Stop.

Ma'am?

Thanks.

Good evening.

I'm not bothering you?

Have we met?

I recognize you.

It's to say I saw your video...

No!

And I was very moved.

Moved?

Yes.

You have to be so free to do that.

Especially in a small town like ours.

Braving the gaze of others.

I find you admirable.

I'd rather have distinguished myself
in another domain.

Like molecular surgery.

So you made me and my husband
want to try a video.

Don't do it!

Think about the consequences!
Don't!

Fuck the consequences.

We only live once.

We spend our time
fearing how others judge us.

So thank you.

Thank you so very much.

My pleasure.

Can I take a picture with you?

Yes.

May I?

There.

Thanks a lot. Enjoy your evening.

I did my first selfie.

Honey... you're back.

Sorry.

All this thanks to my butt.

I'm so upset with myself.

The school board called.
They're firing me.

No, honey, they won't fire you.

I'll call and explain.

What'll happen to us?

- I don't feel well.
- Lie down.

I'll get you some water.

To think that lady said I was admirable.

What, honey?

The lady at the bar. She said...

"Oh yeah, well I find you admirable."
Yeah, right!

No, I can understand that.

The kids mentioned the comments.

You told the kids?

How awful!
I'll never look them in the eyes!

Calm down! Honey...

the kids will understand.
We'll explain.

What will they understand?

That we love each other
and that we proved it.

We may not be model parents,
but we taught them that.

Come on.

Drink and I'll show you something.

What will you show me now?

Look.

Look at these comments.

- Comments?
- Yeah, look.

Randomly.

"She is one hot mama."

- Me?
- Yes, you.

"Suck me, MILF. You're hot."

You're hot, honey.

"What a killer cougar!"

All those spelling mistakes!

What matters is that they're happy.

Look at the categories.

Look. "Cuckolds",

"Triplets," "Clothes pins," "Vomit".

Some people like vomit!

You realize?
We're lightweights next to them.

We're prudes.

I don't know about prude,
but we're screwed.

According to Article 43
from the January 1986 ordinance,

the suspension of functions

is a protective, provisional measure.

It allows us

to remove a civil servant
who committed a fault

or a criminal common-law offense.

By partaking in pornographic activity,

you fit into this second category,

Mrs. Michel.

Once again,
that was not my intention.

My husband and I made those movies
for ourselves.

How can we believe you?
In the film in question,

we often see you
looking straight into camera

while performing fellatio.

You knew full well
the film was meant to be seen.

Yes, but by me and my husband.

Must I remind you
you're a school teacher?

Have you anything to add?

I was very naughty.

Consider yourself
deserving of punishment?

I'm afraid so.

Madam, come and take the stand.

No!

No, she's already at the stand.

- "Come and take my stand!"
- Sorry.

You understand what you're acting?
Is it that hard?

I can't step forward

if you say "the".

Of course!

JP, start over.

The rest was great.
JP, start over.

Come and take my stand.

Now you go.

Pauline, enter the frame.

Enter the frame, Pauline.

Excellent, Marius.

Very good, yes.

Honey, now you can suck Marius.

Good, honey, look at me.

Thanks for letting us on set.
I know you're busy.

It's our pleasure.

My wife and I adore your show.

The show of solidarity
since you were fired

caused a controversy.

And yet it was not expected.
How did you react?

People often say
the French are conservative,

but the truth is,
they showed their open-mindedness.

My husband and I
can only be thankful.

This sudden fame
allowed you to create a platform

now available in 20 countries.

25.

25 countries.
But it wasn't always easy.

How do your children deal with this?

Yes, you're right.
We experienced some difficult moments.

But...

we communicate a lot with the kids,
and well.

We'd never have done this
without their approval.

Our situation isn't conventional

but they stand by our sides, so...

They're very well rounded.

Can we cut for a second?

I have a call. It's China.

I have to answer.

I was expecting your call.

Let's take five.

And you, Aurélie?

Can I ask you something?

Yes, of course.

So what's your fantasy?

My fantasy?

Don't be embarrassed.
You can tell me anything.