Fandango (1985) - full transcript

[Party sounds]

* thinkin' about the times
you drove in my car *

* thinkin' that i might
have drove you too far *

* and i'm thinkin'
about the love *

* that you made
on my table *

* i told you not to wander
out in the dark *

* i told you
about the swans... *

gardner!

He's coming.

Ok.

* Then i told you
about our kid *



* now he's married
to mabel... *

almost, darlin'...

but not quite.

More ice! More ice!

Ok. He's coming!

Oh!
Oh!

Hey, phil...

is this the appropriate
wedding color, son,

black?

It's... it's perfect.

Well, i guess when
a groover marries,

the world mourns.

Hey!

Hey! Line up.



Hey, hey! Line up, ok?

All right, all right.

Um, turn the music down.

Turn the music down.
Come on. Shh!

[Music stops]

oh, god. Come on.
Shh. Shh.

Shh. Shh.

Are you ready?
Ok, here they come. Shh.

Shh.

3...

2...

1...

surprise!
Surprise!

Mom!

Dad!

Hi, folks!

Dad: son.

We thought
we'd just drop in

and see where you've been
living for the past four years.

I'm glad you did.

[Loud rock music plays]

you remember dorman,
my roommate dorman?

Aren't you the young man
studying to be a...

a minister.

Minister.
That's what i thought.

And this is
lester griffin,

the fifth groover.

He just graduated

summa cum laude
in accounting.

Congratulations, lester.

Well, i, uh...

guess we'll see you
after boot camp...

lieutenant.

Uh... yes, sir.

Aah!

We'll see you, son.

Bye, mom.

See you later.

Bye, dad.

Gardner!

What?

[Needle scratches
across record]

good.
I hate that part.

That was my parents.

They're from
new jersey.

They've seen butts
before.

There he is!

Sneaking in the back door!
Woo-hoo!

Whoa!
Hey!

You getting
married, boy.

Getting married.

Where have you been?

I promised debbie

you'd be in dallas
tomorrow night.

You haven't packed.
You're not dressed.

Speech!
Speech!

Speech!
Speech!

Quiet. Quiet.

Uh... th-the wedding's off.

[Laughter]

shut up! Damn it.

Deb and i
ain't getting married.

I'm calling it off.

Waggener,
that's great!

Oh, son, when did you
come to your senses?

When i got this.

I've been drafted,
gardner.

Congratulations.

We're saved.

The groovers
are saved!

Hey. This has
his orders on it.

Well, we got
another one, colonel.

Mine says
the same thing,

except where it goes,

"a review of your 2-s
student deferred status

"indicates three years

without achieving
academic advancement.

Therefore, you are hereby
ordered for induction."

This mean i get
my fondue set back?

You dog! Woo-hoo!

Yeah! Yeah!

Philip! Philip!

Philip,
give me your keys!

We're going somewhere.

Who's going?

We're going! Us!

The groovers! Now!

Wh-what about your car?

You're drinking it.

Come on, man.

All right!

Dorman, get lester.

You sold your car
to throw a party?

You didn't
even graduate!

What is this?

A farewell fandango
for the groovers! Woo-hoo!

Turn out the lights
when you leave.

Innocent critters squashed
on the highway of life!

* It's gettin' late

* have you seen my mates?

* Ma, tell me when
my boys get here *

* it's 7:00,
and i wanna rock *

* wanna get
a bellyful of beer *

* my old man's drunker
than a barrel full of monkeys *

* and my old lady,
she don't care *

* my sister looks cute
in her braces and boots *

* a handful of grease
in her hair *

* oh

* don't give us none
of your aggravation *

* we've had it
with your discipline *

* ooh, saturday night's
all right for fightin' *

* get a little action in

* get about as oiled
as a diesel train *

* gonna set this dance
alight *

* 'cause saturday night's
the night i like *

* saturday night's
all right *

* all right, all right

* whoo-oo-oo-ooh

* well, they're packed
pretty tight *

* in here tonight

* i'm lookin' for a dolly
who'll see me right *

* i may use
a little muscle *

* to get what i need

* i may sink
a little drink *

* and shout out,
"she's with me" *

* a couple of the sounds
that i really like *

* are the sounds
of a switchblade *

* and a motorbike

* i'm a juvenile product
of the workin' class *

* who's best friend floats
in the bottom of a glass *

* ohh

* don't give us none
of your aggravation *

* we've had it
with your discipline *

* saturday night's
all right for fightin' *

* get a little action in

* get about as oiled
as a diesel train *

* gonna set this dance
alight *

* 'cause saturday night's
the night i like *

* saturday night's
all right *

* all right, all right

* whoo-oo-oo-ooh

* saturday, saturday,
saturday *

* saturday, saturday,
saturday *

* saturday, saturday,
saturday night's all right *

* saturday,
saturday, saturday... *

nachos de la noche...

es esto tapatio.

Yo soy hombre picante.

¿come se llame
yo mama?

[Urinating]

tough it out, son.
Tough it out.

Well, now...

what do you boys
want for breakfast?

Barbecue?

Ok, chili.

Drafted...

graduated...

disengaged...

guess y'all know what
this means, don't you?

We got to dig up dom.

Open up, philip.

You're not taking
my car to mexico.

Dom's not in mexico.
He's on the border.

I know where he is.

You mean to tell me
you'd let dom

stay buried out
there for a century

for some nerd
to find?

No. I mean we're not
driving 400 miles in my car

just to dig him up.

You swore, son.
We all did.

Holy groover oath.
Remember?

We're dog meat.
This could be our last chance.

We-we're
facing combat

and questionable
life spans.

It's not like
we're going after

some nameless
piece of trash

alongside the road.

We're going
after dom, philip...

a dear bud buried
by the groovers

a long time ago.

Bonds and beers
and the five of us

driving down that long,
lonesome highway.

I'm talking
about us reliving

the greatest chapter
in groover history.

Don't that mean
something to you?

Look... we had our fling,
and it was fun, ok?

But we got to get to dallas
by tomorrow night

for his wedding.

Read my lips,
philip, ok?

He's...
not getting married.

He didn't back out yet.

Did you?

What did she say?

Nothing.
She wasn't home.

What?

She was at
a kitchen shower,

so i told her dad.

You called off
your wedding

after talking
to her dad?

Now that we got
that out of the way,

can we get going?

We got to help him.

Philip...

i'm just as concerned
about this as you are.

I spent $18
for this tux.

But it wasn't
meant to be,

and dom is waiting.

Over, rover!

Aah!

Come on!
Watch out!

We have to report

to boot camp
monday night.

We'll be back
tomorrow night.

We were gone a week
the first time!

Flukes. Groovers
got to expect

that kind of stuff

every once
in a while.

Hey!

How about margaritas
at chatta ortega's?

We can see
the donkey lady!

We could get diseases.

I swear, philip,

i don't know why we
bring you along sometimes.

My car, my money.

Carol king:
* just to pass the time

next time we stop,

maybe i can get out
and call deb

to tell her
in person.

She's been told,
waggener.

Just let it ride, son.

Give it a few weeks.

Then write her.

* It's too late, baby

* now it's too late

* though we really did...

you ever have
any regrets?

About what?

* Something inside
has died... *

certain women.

* And i just can't
fake it *

i never been serious
about a woman

in my life, son.

You know that.

* It used to be so easy
livin' here with you *

* you were
light and breezy *

* and i knew
just what to do *

* now you look
so unhappy *

* and i feel
like a fool *

* and it's too late, baby

* now it's too late

* though we really did
try to make it *

* something inside
has died... *

that's dirt, son.

There's no highway
through here.

Dotted line means dirt.

I thought
it meant short cut.

Do you know
what "e" means?

Do you know
what "e" means?

It means empty,
douche bag...

like your head!

Well, i guess

i'm just not
officer material.

I guess not.

Where are we?

The ass of nowhere.

Ha ha ha!

[Laughing]

give lester a beer.

He doesn't need
another beer.

He's facing life
as an accountant.

He needs something.

I can't believe
you talked me into this.

This is stupid!

It's the stuff
legends are made of, son.

Huh...

what time's the wedding?

Texas is really ugly,
you know that?

I mean, what could
anyone possibly like

about this state?

I like the way
it's shaped.

It's wild, philip.

Always has been,
always will be...

just like us.

Ha.

Ho. Ho, ho, ho.

Ho.

Can you imagine coming
all the way out here

just to get killed?

You having
second thoughts?

I believe i burned
all my bridges.

Well, buck up, bud,

because i think
you did the right thing.

That's what her father
said on the phone.

"You're doing
the right thing.

I'm behind you
all the way."

Always been
in front of me till then.

Waggener, this is
history, all right?

The only way
to get over a woman

is get yourself
another one,

so when dom's dug up
and our duty's done,

we're going to slide
into chatta ortega's,

and we'll destroy
a few brain cells...

the guy's rich,
gardner.

He could have
made some calls.

Why should he?

It's your duty.

Well, i'm proud
to be going.

I am.

Aren't we all?

[Train whistle blows]

that's the train, boys!

You! Off the car!

Get off my car.

Come on. We can hop it.

What?

Got any better ideas?

What about my car?

We'll pick it up
on the way back.

Forget it.
I know you.

This might be
the only ride we get.

We're not
leaving my car,

and that's final.

Gardner, talk to me.

Talk to me.

I may have vapor lock
on my brain,

but i need to know,
are you crazy?

Are you
out of your mind?

It'll work, philip.

You think this
is a wise move?

I mean, it's a train.

Think! Don't
be big and stupid.

Come on.

Gardner, gardner,
show some sense.

Oh, great. Great.

All right, dorman!

Get the wheels straight.

That's a felony,
you know that?

Yes.

We're all
going to die!

Didn't you hear me?

We're facing
imminent death!

It'll be just like
water-skiing, philip.

Water-skiing?

Get in.

He did it! Run, son.

Brake off?

Yep.

Neutral?

I don't believe this!

It'll work, philip.

Dorman, run!

Hurry!

Do you know how many pizzas
i made to buy this car?

Hey,

how are we
going to stop?

First phone we get to,
i'm calling the police.

Philip, can't let
a little thing like this

stop the damn pilgrimage.

Sorry. We're
getting off here.

That car's afflicted.

No, it just needs
a little alignment hygiene.

Well, i hope y'all ain't
in no hurry.

I can't fix it
till in the morning.

How come?

'Cause
it's saturday night.

My mechanic's
gone honky-tonking.

My tools
is in his truck.

Sorry, boys.

A night in marfa
ain't so bad.

Motel's over there.

If you're looking
for cheaper bunks,

there's a roadside park
just up the highway

by the movie set
where they shot giant.

James dean was here?

Yeah.

1955.

Listen, front-end alignment
will run you $11.95.

Want me to do
anything about that?

Yeah, if it's free.

I'll get you out of here
early as i can.

Better hurry
if you want supper.

Dairy queen
closes at 8:00.

May i take
your order, please?

Give me three chili dogs
and a malt.

* In the cool
of the evening *

* when everything
is gettin' kinda groovy *

* i call you up
and ask you *

* if you'd like to go
with me and see a movie *

* first you say no

* you've got some plans
for tonight *

* and then you stop

* and say

* all right

* love is kinda crazy

* with a spooky
little girl like you *

* you always
keep me guessin' *

* i never seem to know
what you are thinkin' *

* and if a fella
looks at you *

* it's for sure your little eye
will be a-winkin' *

* i get confused 'cause
i don't know where i stand *

* and then you smile

* and hold my hand

* love is kinda crazy

* with a spooky
little girl like you *

oh, ben's a faggot.

* Spooky *

come on. This is what
we've been waiting for.

It's not the same, gardner.

What's not?

They're jailbait.

Well, that never
stopped us before.

We were jailbait before.

Ha ha ha!

They're airheads, gardner.

Bimbos.

Little girls
with little brains.

We're not trying
to expand their minds,

philip, so don't
get picky on me.

So right after
she had the baby,

they had to remove
her utopian tubes.

No. No. That's
fallopian, darlin'.

Fallopian?

Those are books
of the bible, silly.

First and second
fallopians.

So what do you all
want to do now?

Are you 18?

I know, let's
shoot fireworks.

Ooh!

That would be so neat.

Would y'all like
to do that, huh?

Only if it's neat.

We got tons
of bottle rockets

left over
from christmas.

We just going
to pull off the road?

No...

i think we'll go
to my daddy's place.

Yah!

Aah aah yah!

Just what exactly

does your daddy do,
lorna, darlin'?

He's in
the funeral business.

This is his cemetery.

Come on, y'all.

Come on.
You'll get used to it.

Can't we just find
a playground or something?

This has been
my playground

ever since
i can remember.

See?

Lots of places
to hide.

I ain't going to ask
what we're hiding from.

From each other.

It's no fun

shooting rockets
off in the air.

You got to have
moving targets.

Ain't that
just a tad dangerous?

No. It's so neat.

We'll choose up sides.

Ok. Me and waggener
and phil.

Y'all take the garden
of the good shepherd

and the garden of bliss.

We'll go count to 100
while you hide.

Then we'll
come after you.

No aiming for the face.
And be careful.

These could go off
and hurt somebody.

Aah!

Whoa!

Whoa!

We started!

Gardener.

Aah!

Ok. Come on.

Go on!

Y'all watch out
for those new graves.

They're not
packed down yet.

These stiffs
got no manners at all.

Sorry, friend.

[Explosion]

aah!

I'm not sure
i can do it, gardner.

I'm not sure i can go.

Then don't.

It's not quite
what i expected.

They shot giant here?

Can you imagine?

James dean walking around
right out here.

Pass me the classifieds
there, would you, bud?

All that ink's
bound to be warm.

Great.

This is the worst.

This is the worst ever.

Now if it
would just rain.

See that star...

off that peak?

That was our star...

me and deb...

to talk to
when we were apart.

Quit it.

I wonder
if the night's

like this in 'nam.

You'll find out
soon enough.

Looking forward
to it,

ain't you, philip?

To serving my country?

Yeah. I am.

There are other
countries.

You know?

What?

There's canada.

You are the most
irresponsible person

i have ever met.

Well...

somebody had to be.

Ow! Snake!

Snake!

Snake...

it's in my pants.

Don't rile him up,
philip.

Damn. It's a snake.

What kind is it?

It's a rattler.

It's moving!

It's moving!

A lizard.

It felt like a snake.

No. It felt
like a rattler.

God! I was having
a nightmare.

Well, get used
to them.

20, 21, 22, 23
and 50.

And 5
for the go juice.

Much obliged
for that body job.

That is first
rate work.

The other way, bud.

Remember, it's lefty lucy,
righty tighty.

Oh!

Oh!

Another 100 miles
and we're there, boys.

* Dom ortegas *

how about some breakfast?

Where'd
you get the money?

Birthday present
from the girls.

It's not your birthday.

Well, it's going to be.

You stole that money.

Just like
you stole my car.

What is your problem?

We're embarked
on what is probably

the greatest epic
adventure of all time.

All you can do...

nobody cares about
epic adventures anymore.

Philip, we...

we came out here

to try and forget
some things. All right?

So why won't you
let us?

There's nothing wrong
with going nowhere, son.

It's a privilege
of youth.

We're not youths
anymore, peter pan.

You're only 18 once.

Like you're only
a virgin once,

and then it's over.

Like the groovers.

I sort of like
to think of us

as an institution, bud.

Over!

You know,
someday, philip,

when you're old...

hey...

hey... hey,
where you going?

I'm not even
rinsed off.

No more quarters.

God!

Darn!

I think you're trash,
gardner!

I think you're slime.

Selfish, worthless,
irresponsible slime.

What do you think
about that?

Freedom of expression's
a wonderful thing.

Turn my car around now!

You're a bullshit artist.

That's all you're
ever going to be,

'cause when life
gets too complicated,

you just take off.

Run away.

Well, make the most
of this one, asshole!

It's the last time
you push me around.

Find some other jerk

to go chasing
after rainbows...

will you shut up?

Just shut up!

I'm sick
of your mouth.

Nobody made you come,
you whiner.

Just like nobody
made you room with us.

You wanted to!

It's always bitch, bitch
about dom or whatever!

That's all
you're good at!

You're a pain
in the ass.

So either kill yourself
and do us all a favor

or shut the hell up!

I guess i should have
expected as much

from a guy
who chickens out

on his own wedding.

That's right...

coward.

It wasn't the draft.

It wasn't her parents.

You just got scared
and ran off like him.

And now
you're down here

pretending all this crap
is still fun.

Afraid to admit
she's the best thing

that ever
happened to you!

You know you blew it!

You wimp, i had to!

Don't tell me...

take the wheel.

Fellas!

Stop it.

Quit it!

Quit it.

Aah!

Come on.

That's it, philip.

Now, that's it.

You win.

We're going home.

Thanks to you
dom don't mean shit anymore.

Dom never meant shit.

You know,
you talk tough.

You act tough.

You march a bunch
of weenies

around
an intramural field,

but the fact is,
you're an rotc colonel

because that's all
you ever could be.

And now look at you.

Anxious to run off
and get yourself martyred,

hoping somebody's
going to love you for it.

You're pathetic, philip.

I don't know
how else to say it.

You're just pathetic.

That's the only reason

we had anything
to do with you.

We never really
liked you, son.

We just felt sorry
for you.

I'm... i'm not a weenie.

Dorman, turn us around.

We got to get
this little weenie

back to his stupid
little, worthless war.

You listen to me!

Not everyone gets
a college education

just handed to them.

That uniform
is my ticket

to some kind
of future.

And i'm giving
my notice right now.

I'll take on anybody,
anything, anywhere

anytime...

well, philip.

O-ok.

I'd have done it
if we had the money.

You looking
for something?

Yes, i am.

I'm looking for
the head jumping bean.

Some guys are
looking for you.

Good morning to you.

Quite a day
for jumping, isn't it?

Gardner barnes.

Your name, sir?

Uh, truman sparks.

It's nice
to meet you, truman.

Your wife tells me
you're in charge here.

No. She ain't my wife.

Trelis is
just my old lady.

Truman, you ever heard of
the milwaukee daily moon?

Huh?

Well, we're on the travel
and entertainment staff

of that illustrious
newspaper,

and we're conducting
a research tour.

Our action-adventure
editor, mr. Hicks,

wants to take
a jump course

so he can accurately depict
the delights of skydiving

in his column.

He wants
to do that today?

No, sir,
right now.

It'll be in a paper?

We're talking
big dollars.

Could any
of this land

be available for
resort development?

Resort?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lot of potential.

Lot of potential.

Since this series
will be a free godsend

to the local economy,

we were hoping maybe
that you could, uh,

reciprocate a little
on the lesson.

Truman.

Huh?

On the lesson.

No problem. We'll
work something out.

Then let's get to it.

Ok!

Ok, field marshal,
let's go.

He's scared of
heights, remember?

Well, most weenies are.

Aah!

Hey, pretty excited,
isn't he?

The man absolutely
thrives on danger.

We need to counsel
with him

about his
editorial approach,

so you go inside,
get things strung up.

We'll be in
right after you, ok?

Ok.

Let him up,
dorman.

Pretty mean,
aren't you, phil?

Pretty mean
character.

Well, prove it.

All right, i will...

on one condition.

Anything you say,
weenie.

You've got to swear it

in case
i'm not here.

Consider it
sworn.

Me, too.

If i do this,

you got to swear
you won't dodge the draft.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

You got to swear

you won't skip off
to mexico with him!

Ok.

I know you better
than you think.

Let's do it.

Hey, real
gung ho, huh?

He can't wait
to get started.

Sign a release,
and we'll go.

A release?

Saying you
won't sue me

if you
get killed.

You'll be
coming out here

and doing a stable fall
face down, frog modified.

Out here comes
the static line.

The pilot chute opens,
pulling the bridle out.

Then the main canopy
will be open.

You'll be here,
looking up here

for the wdi indicator.

You'll also check
for mae west.

If that's not there,

you check here
for four panels and a hole.

When you come down,

you'll land here
and get in this position.

That means
you're in trouble.

So you want to
get right here,

come around here,
fold up,

do a toggle
and jettison,

and always watch
the horizon.

Arch! Arch!
Arch! Arch!

Arch! Arch!
Arch! Arch!

Arch! Arch!
Arch! Arch!

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Hold it.

You screwed up
again, man.

You got to stay clear
of this guideline, dude,

or you're going to get
your head tore off.

Go ahead and
jump off the strut

and arch back
onto this mattress.

Arch!
Arch!

A good hard arch.

Let's do it again
like i showed you.

You're inside.
I cut the engine.

You reach your hands
outside the door.

Step out
on the wheel,

dangle a foot,
and arch!

Arch!
Arch!

Arch!
Arch!

Arch!
Arch!

[Crash]

ha ha ha ha.

Wow. He, uh, he
missed the mattress.

You might
want to help him

adjust the straps.

The chances of
having a malfunction

are 1 in 1,000,
mr. Hicks.

I don't even want you
worrying about it.

I rigged chutes
in nam.

I repack these
babies every week.

If something
goes wrong

with your
main chute,

you got the
belly reserve here.

You're going
to get two shots.

We'll go through it
like i showed you.

You're on the wing
and looking at me.

Come on. You're
looking at me,

and i give you
the signal to go!

Now you're watching
and counting.

1,001, 1,002.
There's nothing happening!

At 6, look over
your shoulder!

It's a streamer!
Cut away!

Pull the "d" rings!
Tuck and cover!

Tuck and cover!
Hit the reserve!

Look out! You're
going to burn in, man!

Look out!
Here comes the ground!

You got to be
cool, dude.

Do that
in the real thing,

and you're
going to bounce.

Bounce?

When somebody
makes the big drop,

they don't
really spatter.

They just bounce
about 10 feet.

Around here,
you don't

'cause the landing
zone's real soft.

Although
in one case,

a guy left a crater
like a meteorite.

Did he burn when he
entered the atmosphere?

I don't think so.

Are we ready
to suit him up?

Oh, sure thing,
mr. Barnes.

Test 1.

[Echo]
test 1.

Test 2.

[Echo]
test 2.

You're all set, man.

I'll be
talking you down.

Is something
the matter, dude?

If it'll
make it easier,

i'll jump first

so's you can watch
how it's done.

Oh.

Oh, god.

What a space cadet
i am, huh?

I can't do that.

If i do that,

who's going
to land the plane?

Oh, god.

That was a joke.

That was
a bad joke.

There she is.

What a beaut.

I painted her
myself.

Slow year, huh?

Looks fast, truman.

Yeah. It's
the stripes.

Yeah. Well,
i like those.

Trelis
painted those.

She's real
talented.

Watch your
heads now.

We don't need that.

Oh, hi, hazel.

No flight today.

[Bang]

oh, say, truman,
i ain't sure,

but i think i just
hurt your plane.

Oh. Oh, no, man.
Don't worry.

That thing's
always coming off.

I'm always meaning
to fix this thing.

I just never
have the time.

There we go.

That baby's
as good as new.

Mr. Hicks!

Oh, here he is.

There he is.

You all set?

He's raring to go.

Hey, how come you guys

aren't writing
this stuff down?

That's a good point,
truman.

You take
good notes, philip.

Hop in, dude.

That's one small step
for a groover, boys,

one giant leap
for weeniekind!

Whoo!

There he is, boys!

I think he's really
going to do it.

Ain't this fine?

Vicarious
entertainment,

courtesy
of phil hicks,

weenie
extraordinaire.

Oh, that phil.
He's something.

Hey!

Which one of you geeks
grabbed the wrong chute?

Who's got my laundry?

You probably do
stuff like this a lot,

being an
action-adventure editor.

Did you ever spearfish
for sharks?

Must be a real rush...

you and a great white,
one on one.

He doesn't have
a radio on the plane?

He never needed one.

That's
against the law.

Listen, we got
to get him down,

get him down.

We got to stop
him, trelis.

Quit worrying.

He's got
one good chute

and my laundry!

You think he's
going to remember

any of that
emergency stuff?

Would you?

We got to stop him.

We got to
send him a signal.

How, smoke signals?

Burn his car.

No, no!
Something else.

Something else.

I got it!

We'll spell
"don't jump"

on the ground.

With what?

Hey, you don't mind
if i fire up, do you?

You might want
to take a couple of hits

before you
go out the door.

It makes the trip down
real interesting.

Quick, son!

We need you
to be an apostrophe!

No, no! It's not
going to work!

It's too small.

He won't
understand it.

We're out
of clothes.

Come on, gardner,
think!

Come here, boys!

There aren't many
dudes left around

who'll go for it.

That's what
it's all about.

It's like the man said...

it's better
to go like this

than in some
senseless tragedy.

I'd rather burn in
at 200 miles an hour

and have some laughs

than to eat it
in a car accident.

That's a dumb way to go.

Oh, hey.

I got to tell
you about my dream.

You're going to
get into this, man.

The one thing
i want to do

before joining
the cosmos

is hang glide
off mount everest.

Wait. Here's
the best part...

it's naked!

Yeah, man.

* Born to be wild *

yeah, we're almost
there, buddy.

The drop zone's
dead ahead.

Hey, man,
what a drag.

The plane's coming.

I mean where do
you guys get off?

Biodegradable soap

don't come cheap,
you know.

Hey, look.

Your buddies wrote you
some kind of message.

This is great!

One botched load
isn't enough.

You guys are
totally uncool.

My flour!

What a pisser!

"Go... on."

Hey, those guys
spelled it out good.

Here, take a look.

Oh!

Aah!

He's coming,
you guys!

He's coming!

What are you guys on?

Uh, ma'am,
uh, wait.

Ma'am, no.

No, ma'am. No. Whoa.

No, trelis, no, wait.

Ok, man.
Get ready.

Just keep
your distance, mac.

We need that laundry
a few minutes.

I ain't kinky.
I ain't into that stuff.

[Airplane motor revs]

ok, dude,
out you go.

Remember...

i want to see
a good, hard arch.

What am i doing
out here?

Go!

Whoa! Aah! Aah!

Hey, man, you got
to let go!

Don't get sick, man.

I can't land
with you like that.

Sorry, dude.

Ooh!

Yaa!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

A whole washday
shot to hell.

Wow. What a bummer.

Hey, mr. Hicks,
guess what?

Hey, don't get upset,
man,

but there's something
i got to tell you.

Your parachute
didn't open, man.

Mr. Hicks!

Sweet jesus,
make his brain work.

Hit the reserve, son.
Hit it!

Mr. Hicks! Listen, dude.

If you're into playing
it close, that's cool,

but we're talking
megamalfunction here.

Can you hear me?

Come on, phil!
Hit it!

Turn your volume
up a tad!

I said your parachute
didn't open, man!

What?

Ok, dude, no problem.

Just wanted
to keep you posted.

Now why don't we pull on
that old reserve, huh?

It's on your belly, man.

It's a silver handle
on your belly.

Your stomach.
Your tum-tum.

Pull the handle
on your stomach!

Pull the handle

on your stomach!

Pull the handle
on your stomach!

Philip!

Yahoo!

Yeah!

Yahoo!

Yeah! All right.
Way to go, mr. Hicks!

Now get those legs
together

and get ready to land!

Yay!
Woowoo! Woo!

Yeah!
Yahoo!

Terrific!
Yahoo!

Yeah!
Woohoo!

Woohoo!

Woohoo!
Yeah!

Woohoo!

You made it, son!

Philip.
Listen to me, son.

I didn't mean
a word.

Not a word.

Way to go, mister!

Great recovery, man.
I want to shake your hand.

He's got a good grip
on that thing.

Wake up, son.
It's all over.

Forgive us.

We'll never
badmouth you again.

Angels!

No, son, it's us.

You made it.
You're alive.

You're going down
in the annals

of grooverdom
for this one, bud.

Wait a minute.

You get a free picture
with your first jump.

Ok.

Oh. Listen, uh...

hope you aren't sore
about this little screwup.

Oh, no. No.

Accidents
will happen.

I don't want
no bad press.

Ok, hold it, hold it.

I think you're going
to like this one.

You'll wear that out

looking at it
so much, philip.

Weenies are like that.

Thanks for letting us
finish this thing.

It's the last one.

How far
is the border?

It's about
3 or 4 miles thataway.

Think he's
still there? Dom?

Yeah. It don't
all change.

This place did.

Remember when
you were 16, 17,

looking ahead?

How you knew the next
couple of years...

they'd be great.

Just knew it.

I don't feel
that way no more.

I'm not going
with you, gardner.

I swore.

I know.

How about you?
What's after mexico?

I ain't too worried
about that.

You know,
you could request

a duty assignment
in germany.

We got lots
of bases there.

Maybe i could
help out.

Well, thank you, bud.

But, uh... i just
can't chance that.

Anyway, you know me...

got to roam.

Got to bird-dog.

Got to cross
females and fences,

and if you'd all just
come with me, you'd see.

Well, then...

let's go dig
that rascal up.

That's it.

Hello, bud.

Here's to us, by god!

To us, and that,

and privileges
of youth.

Here's to us
and what we were.

And what we'll be.

And what we'll be.

[Bottle breaks]

was it worth it?

Yeah...

it was.

No, it wasn't.
I blew it.

She loved me,
and i blew it.

Maybe it never
would have worked,

but at least i should
have tried.

I should have tried.

God damn it!
I blew it!

You ever been
in love, philip?

I don't know.

Course you know.

If you ever thought
you loved a woman,

you loved her.

That's all love is,
mostly.

Thoughts.

Help me here.

This boy's got
to get married.

Yes?

Of course
she said yes.

Wasn't it me
proposing for him?

Was she mad?

I blamed you.

What?

She knows better.
For once in your life,

do what i tell you,

and we might
pull this thing off.

Yes, sir.

Are we taking
him to dallas?

No. Her family
would kill him.

It would be boring.

She's got to come here.

How?

Give me that dime.

There's only
one human being

that can do it on time.

* Get your motor runnin'

* head out
on the highway *

* lookin' for adventure...

"i-35 to loop 635.

South to band-aid."

Band-aid?

* Take the world
in a love embrace *

* fire all the guns
at once and *

* explode into space

* i like smoke
and lightning *

* heavy metal thunder...

oh...

oh, "cleveland."

You. Hey, you!

Yeah. Terminate that
flight path immediately.

Follow me
into love field.

Now! I'm not
telling you twice.

* Explode into space

* like a true
nature's child *

* we were born,
born to be wild *

* we can climb so high

* i never
want to die... *

what are
you doing?

Us? Oh,
setting up

for a wedding
reception.

Here?

Yep. Big one, too.

Champagne, roast
duck, the works.

Fact,
catering trucks

ought to be
here any minute.

You feel free
to stick around.

There'll be plenty
for everybody.

Oh! Napkins!

I forgot to order
the napkins.

You know,
it's always something.

Hell,
i got napkins.

Do you?

* Get your motor runnin'

* head out
on the highway *

* lookin'... *

[ring]

[ring]

[ring]

hello?

Who?

Just a moment.

Are you mr. Barnes?

Well, yes, i am.

Telephone.

Thank you, sir.

Hello?

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, no.

No.

Well, how am i
supposed to...

talk about
your rotten luck.

What happened?

No champagne.

Truck flipped over
in fort stockton.

Broke every
damn bottle.

What will we drink?

Say, y'all drink beer?

Well, yes.

On occasion.

[Horn honks]

hi, there.

Hi.

Mind if i cut in?

Thanks a lot.

I wish
we'd ordered beans.

I'll go home
and fix a batch.

You don't have to.

They'd better bring tables
on that catering truck.

There's tables
at the schoolhouse.

I wonder if we might
borrow a few.

I reckon.
My son is principal.

Say, you looking for me?

Ed. The butcher.

Ed, this is
so embarrassing.

[Musical horn honks]

never cater another party
with those people.

You folks are so kind.

Why, thank you.

You're welcome.

We lost the band!

Mel.

Yeah, i heard.

That's a shame.

There's some fellas
here in town

that cut a mean...

the band was bringing
the decorations, too.

See, they were bringing
our tree lights, everything.

I'm sorry you hooked
those extensions up

for nothing.

This thing was coming
together so nice, too.

Well, tree lights, huh?

Waggener.

Waggener.

Wake up.

Get handsome.

Truman, you are
a gentleman and a scholar.

Look, i owed you one,
mr. Barnes,

and here she is.

Don't i know you?

You used to.

Thanks.

Here.

Best man's got to dance,
too, you know.

Hey!

How about a fandango?

[Cheering]

keep it.

Where's gardner?

Where's gardner?

He's not here.

Well, listen,

i'm going to catch
a ride with somebody.

It's been real.

Call me some time.

Arthur anderson
in dallas.

Gardner
didn't say goodbye.

Neither will i.

Dorman?

Goodbye, friend.

Have a nice life.

* Come down
off your throne *

* and leave
your body alone *

* somebody must change

* you are the reason
i've been waiting so long *

* somebody holds the key

* well, i'm near the end

* and i just ain't got
the time *

* and i'm wasted

* and i can't
find my way home *

* ooh ooh ooh ooh

* ooh ooh ooh

* ooh ooh ooh ooh

* come down on your own

* and leave
your body alone *

* somebody must change

* you are the reason

* i've been waiting
all these years *

* somebody holds the key

* well, i'm near the end

* and i just ain't got
the time *

* oh, and i'm wasted

* and i can't
find my way home *

* ooh

* but i can't find
my way home *

* aah

* ooh

* but i can't find
my way home *

* ooh

* but i can't find
my way home *

* ooh ooh ooh

* ooh ooh ooh ooh

* but i can't find
my way home *

* still i can't find
my way home *

* and i ain't
done nothing wrong *

* but i can't find
my way home *