Family Swap (2020) - full transcript

Usually, theme parks are fun.

But not for us,

the Morels.

Fucking line-jumpers!

This is Chacha, our little one.

Speaks like a truck driver,
sucks her thumb like a baby.

She's the reason we're here.

I'll get a Coke.

- Too late, Valentine.
- Not.

5 minutes left.

I have enough time.



Valentine, 17, our eldest.

World expert on everything.

Why even discuss?

Léo! Your cigarette!

What?

Give it to me!
You can't smoke at 14!

It's just tobacco.

Léo, 14, my son, my failure.
Flunking school since the age of 4.

- Alain, can you talk to him?
- Yeah.

Are you here with us?

2-hour wait and I'm still here.

You seem thrilled.

Sophie my wife, head nurse,
devoted wife, model mom.

But now...



she's exhausted.

- Coming?
- Not without Valentine!

We've waited an hour!

It's nicer as a family.

No, what's nicer is now.
Right, Chacha?

Go on, please.

You coming?

Not without Valentine!

What a fucking pain!

I need to pee.

We lined up 2 hours for you.
So squeeze and get in!

Come, hon.
Daddy can go boating alone.

FAMILY SWAP

So the loser alone in his boat

is me Alain Morel,

head of a flailing paper,
and a flailing family.

And honestly,

I'd like things to change.

MAKE A WISH

Okay for a drink Monday.

Mommy, can I buy this?

Please, I like it so much
and it's my birthday!

- It's tomorrow.
- But I love it!

How about dinner?

No, put it down.

Christophe, you're a drag.

A beer, please.

Sorry, we don't serve alcohol.

Can you raise the volume?

...Bourgogne Matin.

An agreement was reached by the buyer,
billionaire Bernard Ballard,

and editor-in-chief Alain Morel.

Morel expressed relief for his staff.

Milkshake du jour.
Carrot-curry.

Ballard has vowed to fire no one.

Sebastian had 50 magic markers.

He only has 32 left.

So how many did Jean take?

Chacha?

1,000.

Come on, think. Why 1,000?

Jean's a motherfucker.

Who taught you that word?

Guess.

Shut up, Valentine.

What's that?
The thing from the store!

You stole it!

Léo got caught at school
smoking weed.

Tattletale!

What the hell?

Not at school, just in front.

Alain?

Alain!

Thanks, Alain.

Mom, I can't find the answer.

Put whatever you want.

Have you thought about dinner?

Alain, what are you doing?

Mommy...

Someone's in my body.

Chacha.

Hold on, it's me.

It's Mommy.

Go back to sleep, honey.

We're both having

a terrible nightmare.

Go back to sleep, Chacha.
It'll be over soon.

Alain?

Alain, is that you?

Don't be a pain, Chacha.
Go ask Mom.

Valentine?

What's going on? What time is it?

Oh fuck!

Mom said less swearing!

Listen, Valentine honey,

something a bit weird is happening.

Don't worry.

Why am I in this bed?

The bed's not the problem, hon.

Why the hell am I in your body?

Where am I?

Who's in my body?

What the hell?

- Who's that?
- Alain, honey.

Daddy?

Oh fuck!

My brother is in my body! Léo!

What, too busy to answer?

- Valentine!
- You were at the mirror?

- Perving on me!
- Bullshit!

Relax, kids.

Yeah, relax, Valentine
I didn't do anything!

I'll bash your face in!

No way.

No way!

No way!

No way, I can't believe it.
This is so gross!

- No way!
- Unbelievable.

This is wild.

Wild!

No way!

- Alain.
- What?

Shut up.

This is gross!

It's over with Julian now!
Finished!

- Sophie, let's go to hospital...
- I'm Sophie.

- Shall we go?
- No.

At the hospital,

the doctors

won't try to heal us.

They'll dissect us.

Aren't you exaggerating?

You have no idea.

Our minds and bodies
have swapped places.

We're humanity's greatest discovery!

Everyone will try to figure us out.

If we go to the hospital,

we'll be pinned down
like frogs in a lab.

So?

We pack up and go home.

What about my birthday?

Chacha,
it's no time for birthdays.

Most of all, act normal.

Chacha!

Hello, sir.

Hello, Mrs. Morel. Hello, Mr. Morel.

- Happy birthday!
- It's mine too!

Really?

Happy birthday, Mr. Morel.

Everything is ready for hers.

Yeah but we're leaving.

Is there a problem?

My husband's sick.

Darn.

I'm sorry.

But I'll have to bill you
for everything.

The super-Princess birthday cake.

The magician.

The clowns.

The makeup makeover,
the surprise parade.

Chacha, some candy!

The pony ride...

Can we go?

Of course.

Here you go.

Excuse me.

464 euros, please.

464 euros?

That's outrageous!

Who cares, Léo?

This is robbery!

- Can I do the code?
- Sure.

Honeypie.

And here you go!

Thank you, sir.

Wait, the photo-souvenir
is on the house.

Goodbye. Mr. Morel...

Chacha, calm down!

Cool it!

- Surprise!
- Happy Birthday!

This is so cool, girls!

Hello, Mr. Morel.

Sup, dude?

- Hello, Nicolas.
- Hey, Alain.

Sorry, we're late.

Nice presents?

Are you all leaving?

- Alain's sick.
- What's wrong?

My wiener.

All swollen.

He's being silly.

He has...

a stomach flu.

It's a shame for Chacha, isn't it?

We can keep her and celebrate here.

Please, Mommy!

Calm him down.

Chacha... Daddy...

Alain...
Want to end up in a lab?

Thanks, sir.
I'd rather stay with Daddy.

No fair! It's my birthday!

Shit, motherfucker!

Are you crazy or what?

Mind your tongue!

Keep quiet now!

Come on, let's go.

Little dictators.

No, no, Valentine.

You have no license.

Yes, Léo, of course I have my license.

It's you who doesn't have one.

Stay put.

Until they leave.

- So?
- We wait for them to leave.

We'll get busted.

Okay, go on.

Park there.

I'm doing fine, look.
It's all good.

- You'll kill us all.
- You're such pains.

You never trust me.

Like with rhythmic gym.

You said I sucked and then what?

I came in first.

Valentine, we're not in England.

Look around carefully.

Now you brake.

And gently stop.

We're fine, no accident.
Just the mirror.

I said gently, Valentine.

It's Granny!

Shit, your mother.

Your colleagues from the paper!
Why are they here?

27 missed calls

Oh fuck!

Alain, we're in deep shit.

The buyer says
he's firing 25% of the staff.

What?

Thanks for rushing back.

We were waiting for you
to make a decision.

You need to decide.
You're the boss.

Dad, I'll come along.

I'll deal with work.
Get rid of Granny.

You came back
for his pathetic paper?

On Chacha's birthday?

Communist!

Valentine, get rid of her. Now.
Hurry!

Seriously, Granny,
it's cool you came for her b-day,

but we're exhausted...

I have something to tell you.

Chacha, listen up.
This is important.

Focused?

No, you're not.

Focus, please. Okay?

Dad's newspaper

is very poor. And a very rich man

wants to buy us. If we say no,

we're all going...

to lose our jobs.

But today, everyone...

Read it. You'll understand.

"Pe-ri-me-ter of the..."

We know you're the type to compromise,

but they're playing us for fools.

We can't accept this.

Yes.

Yes what?
You want to accept 5% salary cuts?

I make 1,700 a month.

5% a year?

- Know what it comes to?
- 1,000!

Yes, 1,000. Exactly!

And wait! This guy...

fires 25% of us,
but he takes away everything!

No more bonuses!

No more meal vouchers!
No more works council!

No more birthday parties!

No birthdays?

That's not nice!

But there's worse.

But it's bad, very bad!

Okay, but what do we answer?

Yes.

Motherfucker!

Recovery plan!

Motherfucker!

Mass firing!

Motherfucker!

Salary freeze!

Motherfucker!

Who votes to strike?

And it's my birthday!

Motherfucker!

Let's strike! Motherfucker!

Enough, Chacha.

- Dad...
- Stop!

Valentine, I've had enough today.

Hello.

She's getting married.

Granny!

This is so cool! Long live the bride!

Lousy sense of humor, Alain.

Love you, love you!

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you, Chacha...

Wait, Chacha!

Make the most of these precious moments!

Stop sulking, Alain!

Give me your plates. Bedtime.

No gifts?

Wait!

Come with me, Chacha.

Come on!

Coming, Granny.

Would you like some?

No, I'm driving.

You're heading back to Alençon?

No, I rented a motel room nearby.

Granny in a motel?

Not her style.

Your grandmother is sleeping here
with her family.

You know...

The older we get,

the more principles matter.

Wedding nights, for example.

Here I am.

Don't like it, Alain?

It's her birthday, not yours.

In that case, I'll drink visky.

Daddy, what are you doing?

Daddy, put that down.

Enough!

Go to your room immediately!

- Drinking again?
- Shut up, Thérèse.

We need some privacy.
Go to bed.

No one speaks to me like that.

Raise the kids as you like.
Given their father, the bar is low.

But I will not let myself be insulted.

All right...

Thank you.

I had a nice evening.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See ya!

Happy birthday.

What now, Sophie?

Go to bed and we'll see.

It happened to us asleep.
It may un-happen then too.

What beds do we sleep in?

Cut it out, Chacha.

Valentine,
think we'll get our bodies back?

No idea, Chacha.

Wanna see my wiener?

Enough with your wiener!
Go to sleep.

Alain Morel, our editor,

found the best way to define our buyer:
motherfucker!

You're playing rugby
against your buyer's paper.

Given the situation,
is the game still on?

Sure, and we need your help.
Everyone, come watch the match!

We'll slaughter them!

mind swapping

Can one person's mind
be swapped with another's?

I reserved a great restaurant
for tomorrow night.

Bad time right now, Christophe.

Come on!

Say yes :)

Does the brain perhaps also have
a hidden side?

In other words,
remarkable capacities

which we do not yet know
how to utilize.

You there?

Yes

It's 10 euros

Oh shit.

It's Mommy.

You're still in Daddy's body.

Don't be a pain, Chacha.
Go ask Mom.

Valentine?

Yeah, Valentine!

What?
Seriously? Dad's body now!

You said it would go away!

Well, it didn't.

Not only, it's worse!

I'm not staying like this.

Okay, who's that?

It's Daddy, Chacha.

Shit.

I got a new wiener!

Shit, Léo still has my body!

Relax, panicking won't help!

I'm old and ugly
and I should relax.

Lost your wiener, Dad.

Wait, Valentine!

It'll work out.

I promise.
Relax, it's all good.

No, it's not all good!

Shittiest body in the family.

Léo?

Yeah.

I'm so pissed off.

With your Wi-Fi, your microwaves,
goddammit!

Sorry but it's only normal!

Granny

Move, Granny, please.

This is terrible timing.
We're meeting Roger's family today.

They can wait.

All right.

I've thought it over.
This change is good news.

Yeah, right.

It means our states aren't permanent.

So, there's a point when,

mathematically
we'll get our bodies back.

- Mathematically?
- Yes.

Yes, there are 6 of us.
5 possibilities each.

Changing bodies every night

means in 5 days,
we'll be back to normal.

But you didn't switch last night.

I know.

Granny's arrival
maybe screwed things up.

So this all my fault now?

Don't worry. Tonight,
we'll change bodies, and then

it's just math.

What do we do in the meantime?

Nothing. We don't leave the house.

Shit.

Baptiste's party is tonight.
Julian's going.

This fucking sucks!

Relax, Valentine.

Have you seen my face?

How do I manage with Julian?

I'd be more than happy to go.

Mother...

I'm just trying to help!

And the table will clear itself?

The problem, Sophie,
is that I don't have 5 days.

Why don't we go the hospital?
Who better to help us?

- What do you think they'll do?
- I don't know.

A scan or bloodwork
to see what's wrong!

Because something
is seriously wrong, right?

Where are you going?

The hospital.
I'm head nurse.

All right, you win.

I'll go to the hospital.

I'll get us stuff for bloodwork.

- Happy now?
- Yes, thanks.

Promise to stay put.

And the table clears itself?

Buyer's coming to negotiate.
What do we do?

Hold him hostage?

So what then?

Nothing, I'm coming.

Kids, I'm off. I won't be long.

Fuck.

I need you to come to the paper.

Not on your life.

It's very important.
Jobs are at stake.

I had a party. Shit happens.

Just do it for the family.

Yeah, right.

And for a new iPhone?

Let me get dressed first.

Valentine,
I've been waiting for 45 minutes.

Well, I'm no magician.

What's this?

You, but better.

Sophie?

Hi, Christophe!

Hi, Chacha. You okay?

Why are you here? Where's your Mom?

She's at home. She's sick.

She asked me to pick up some stuff.

Okay, but what's wrong?
Nothing serious?

It's nothing. She's fine.

Okay.

She's fine, but sick.

She ignored my 15 texts, I get it.

Because her cell phone is broken.

Yeah, that must be it.

Tell her I get it.

- Okay?
- Get what?

She'll get it.

Valentine, we have only one buyer.

Just one.

We can't lose him. Understand?

Valentine, you listening?

Got it, Dad.
I'm not dumb.

I take Advanced Economics.

I know about buyers
and bankruptcies.

So like seriously... no stress.

You got a D in Economics.

So please, let me stress out, okay?

Your feet.

Sorry, Christophe,
it's tough at the moment.

Hello, miss.

Didier, read me?

- Copy that.
- You'll find this funny.

NO TO THE BUY-OUT
SAVE OUR PAPER

I don't get it.

You call to strike yesterday
and cancel today?

We all believed your talk!

Listen, guys,

the strike was cool
but we got one buyer.

Only one.

And if we strike, that dude will freak.

We'll look like losers.

No buyer in sight.

Same lousy offer.
Not a single change!

He's fucking with us!

Chacha got arrested.
We gotta pick her up.

Sorry, guys, we gotta go.

We really need Alain.

It's true.

It's true.

True, true...

Then I'll stay too.

Your kid wasn't arrested?

Yeah.

- It's fine, she's old enough.
- 7.

It's true that...

So I'll go.

Be right back.

I'll manage. I'm no bimbo.

Sure you can't wait?

Hi, girls!

Hi. Where's Chacha?

Come in.

Where's Chacha?

Girls, I have to tell you a secret.

Really?

I should call Child Services.

She was smoking.

She had needles on her.

That's normal.
Her mom's a nurse.

You're not the Mom?

Oh yeah.

Clever you.

This girl should be in school.
Not in the street.

- Of course.
- Hear me?

I'll be right back.

He's not wrong. Go to school!

You dumb or what?

No, stressed out.
I left Valentine at the paper!

The door, Chacha!

- You good, Granny?
- Fine, sweetheart.

Wanna see my wiener?

- Yeah...
- Why not?

Come on, guys, take it all down!

Alain, where do we put the jerrycan?

In the small room back there.

The meeting's over?

- And the strike?
- Over too.

- And the buyer?
- We said fuck off.

What?

What do we do now?

Come on, chill, Dad.
We found another buyer.

Who?

Me. I mean, you.

Me?

No, you-me.

I saw the guy's offer.

And what do I see
written at the very end,

last page, after tons of figures?

I don't know.

The price.

The guy was paying 1 euro!

Yes, so?

So I paid 2.

7 hours of Economics a week!

7 hours of Economics a week

to come out with crap like that!

Who knew there were debts?

You think you know things,
but you don't!

I got it, okay.

I'll say I changed my mind,
end of story.

Tell them they're all unemployed
because we lost our only buyer!

What if...

What if what?

What if you bought your paper?

You gotta trust your gut.

It's like my gymnastics tournament.

Everyone thought I'd come in last
and then...

It was 10 fucking years ago,
your fucking gymnastics tournament!

And it only happened once.

You never wonder if it's the exception?

- Or...
- Stop, Alain!

Valentine understands.

Right, she understands.

Time she understands she's dumb!

Thanks, Alain.

Hello, ma'am!

Hello, sir!

Chacha!

I'll go talk to her!

No, thanks.
Take out the garbage instead.

Chacha!

Thanks, Mother.
I said to watch the kids.

It's not what you think.
It's for my rheumatism.

Bullshit.

Not this time. It's therapeutic.

Not recreational.

Hey, Léo.

Go easy on my body!

Sophie?

Christophe...

You okay?

Yes, fine.

Your daughter said you were sick.

Oh yeah. I'm better now. Thanks.

Oh fuck.

I wanted to apologize.
My insisting was heavy-handed.

Insisting on a dinner is stupid.

I got it.

If you want to stay sex buddies,

we'll stay sex buddies.

Mom, hurry inside!

We need you!

Bye, Christophe.

Bye, Chacha. You okay?

Take care, bye, so long.

What is it?

What did he say?

Alain, it's not what you think.

He's nothing to me.

He's no one.

He hit on me, but I swear,
nothing happened.

Alain, wait!

Please!

Bitch!

I brought back the stuff.
You want a blood test?

Alain, please, let's talk this out.

I got the T-shirts.

I'll leave yours here.

Don't sulk.

My T-shirts will come in handy tomorrow.

Daddy's not eating with us?

No, he's tired.

I got an idea for his paper.

Tomorrow is the rugby match.

Not now, Valentine.

No cell phones.
How often must I say it?

Tell Granny!

Sorry, it's Roger.
He keeps calling, he's worried.

This is unbearable.

I said it won't last.

I'm off to bed.

For 20€, I'll take off my underwear.

The ball can never be passed forward...

Party at Baptiste's

...called "scoring a try".

Matches are played with 2 teams of 15.

7 backs, 8 forwards.

A player running with the ball
can be tackled.

He must give it up.

That slut!

Where is she?

- Sir...
- Shut up, Baptiste.

Valentine's dad.

Move it.

For once I'm having fun!

- Not with that.
- Hey, sir.

Shut up, Thomas. Come.

I'm not misbehaving!

And does Roger know?

Roger's a pain
with his prostate problems.

- Can't get it up.
- Roger?

Her boo.

Why are you with Thomas?

Julian, I can explain.

Not easy.

No need to explain.
Valentine's my babe now.

Period.

Granny, wait in the car.

I'll call and explain. I swear.

I know why we didn't swap bodies.

It's a virus.

Yeah, like a flu.

Exactly.

Same thing.

Viruses have four phases.

Contamination, progression,

stabilization...

and recovery. Now, look.

We switched. We re-switched.

Today, we didn't switch.

So probably tomorrow, we de-switch.

Trust me,
tomorrow we'll be back to normal.

I doubt it.

Why is that?

You hid something.

- What?
- You're cheating on us!

- What?
- Mom is cheating on us.

With Christophe!

Good old Christophe
from the hospital.

What are you doing?

Going to the hospital.
My shift starts.

This is ridiculous!

Have a nice day.

Alain, stop!

- I'm not surprised at all!
- Granny, shut up!

Alain, cut the ignition.

Are you stupid or what?

You want the truth?
I slept with him once.

Just once.

It was a cocktail party.
I drank, I screwed up.

Once in 25 years is no big deal.

When we met, I was 17.

You're the only man I knew.

You had relationships before.
We're even now.

I never cheated.

No sex in 2 years!
Do I look like a nun?

- Just one?
- I promise.

So now, please stop this car.

Thanks.

Where are we?

Hurry, you're late.

Alain, this is ridiculous.

I swear it was once!

Hi, Charlotte.

Twice tops! I promise!

Alain, wait!

It's for me.

Seriously, chill.
Divorce is cool.

It'll do them good.

- Where are you going?
- Saving Dad's paper.

Hey, guys.

He's my cousin.

He was a center in Division 2.

Hi.

We'll say he's freelance.

But I'm a banker.

You're cheating.

Wanna beat Media Press?

Will the buyer be there?

That's all I want.

You okay?

Your message made me happy.

Nice place.

I'm telling Alain.

Everything.

Great, cool.

I thought you didn't want to.

I changed my mind.

This is great news!

Excellent!

What will you say?

I don't know.

What do you think I should tell him?

I don't know.

Start by saying how much I love you.

That I love taking care of you.

Because I'm in love with you?

I don't know. You tell me.

But it's been a year...

A year?

How often did we do it in a year?

I didn't count, to tell you the truth.

But who cares?
All that matters is your decision.

You said he gave up
on you, work, the kids.

You'll feel...

Okay, but...

- About how often?
- 37 times.

23 at the hospital,

12 at the hotel,
and twice in the car.

My car?

Yes.

What is it?

Wow! I like it when you're like this.

This guy is nothing, no one.
I swear!

Really? I disagree.

He's a great guy.

Stop, Alain!

Excuse us.

She can't accept her parents' divorce.
Wake up!

Did you think
I'd stay with your loser father?

- That's harsh.
- Stop, Christophe!

You see she's not me!

Come on, honey.

Let's go.

Let's leave this babbling child.

Don't worry, it'll all...

It'll...

Léo, look.

- What are you doing, Léo?
- Going out.

- Mommy said we can't.
- Forget Mom and Dad.

Dad's out of work and Mom's...

running off with her lover.

We'll have to manage on our own.

What'll we do?

We'll become partners.

It's not just therapeutic.
It's recreational too.

Deal.

Give me 50
and go see Snow White.

We're gonna win!

All good?

What is it?

Former pro players!

What fucking cheaters!

Wait!

Jean-Phi!

Playing us for fools?

Him, number 8!

- He's a journalist now?
- Seb?

He's an intern.

- He's fucking with us.
- Allow me.

Still want the paper?

I thought the sale was off.

In fact, yes.

If you're interested, it'd be cool.

I don't know.
I dislike being called a motherfucker.

Please, sorry, sir, forgive me,
I beg of you.

You're our only hope.

Know what?

If you and your team

manage to score a try,

just one,

the deal's back on.

Otherwise, stay up shit creek.

Deal!

Come on, guys.

We go all out and score one goal.
Just one.

To show them who we are.

- Did you see them?
- They'll kill us.

Guys, my one life lesson
is trust your gut.

When I was 8,
I did an RG tournament.

A what?

- Rhythmic gymnastics.
- With the hoops?

They said I was
the worst girl in class.

But that day, I believed in myself.

And I came in first.

So today,

we're gonna believe.

And we're gonna score.

No big deal.
Happens to everyone.

Who cares about the match?

What matters is we have jobs,
thanks to you.

I have to tell you guys.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

No, no... I'm fine.

I'll take a little bath at home.

It'll be fine.

Wait, Gilles...

Excuse me, Alain.

So Gilles,
you work in a bank, right?

Yeah.

If ever I needed

lots of money right now, to...

What is it? Why are you staring?

You shave your armpits?

Yes.

Girls prefer.

Okay.

Where are we?

My place.

I can't stay.
I have to go home.

Come on in!

Here.

White... or red?

I'm fine, thanks.

Just to warm up.

Madam...

- You okay?
- Yep.

- You seem tense.
- Nope.

Know you what you need?

A little massage.

I don't think so.

How's that?

Are you feeling it?

That's your liver.

Relax.

That won't be easy.

Want me to run a bath?

Let yourself go.

Let it all go, relax.

There you go.

Excellent.

Wait...

What's that?

Léo bought me a pony.
For your divorce.

There is no divorce.
And that's a llama.

No, it's a pony!

Llama outside, pony inside.

Like me.

Boy on the outside,
girl on the inside.

How did you buy it?

Drug money.

He's into old ladies.
No big deal, it happens.

It's called exhibitionism!

I didn't force him to look.

- He's even paid.
- What?

Relax, she's obviously unwell.

Hello. Don't worry, ma'am.
I'm aware of everything.

It's not at all a problem for me.

Why is he here?

He just came.
Got worried without any news.

I'm better now.

There's a basement too.

No problem.
I can lend you up to 400,000.

What are you doing?

Mortgaging the house
to save Dad's paper.

What?

It's a mortgage.
We can't lose the house.

That's how mortgages work.

Really?

Excuse me...

Your mother-in-law has Alzheimer's.

Stop, Granny, or I'll kill you.

Having fun, Mr. Pedophile?

You got it wrong.

Thérèse and I are in love!

If she were in your body,
it'd be the same.

Do something, Mom.

I save Dad's paper
while she bangs.

And with my body.

You, capable of saving something?

Yes! Yes!
Because I can move mountains!

Rhythmic gymnastics again.

- Know how I won that trophy?
- You didn't win it.

Your father bought it.

What?

Mother, stop.

Truth is, you never won anything.

He bought it at the drugstore
because you came in last.

To make you self-confident.

It sure worked.

Mommy!

My pony spit on me!

That's not a pony.

Scoot over!

Being a woman

A woman!

Being a woman

With you

- Hi, hi!
- Hi, Dad.

- We didn't switch yet.
- Yeah, I see.

- See my pony?
- Yeah, he's amazing.

What are you doing?

Moving in with Christophe.

Where's the La Perla lingerie
I got you

for our 10th anniversary.

Do you hear yourself?

I don't see how you can stop me,

Alain, come back to Earth.

It's not you he loves.
It's me.

You're jealous in fact.

Of who?

Of myself?

Open your eyes.

You're the cuckold.

And I'm your wife.

I know I screwed up.

I'm sorry.

Christophe's nothing.
Fuck him.

Don't badmouth him.

He's a great guy.
Funny, nice, not dumb.

It's true that...

his gaze makes you feel desired.
It's a nice feeling.

Alain, come back to Earth.

For sure, he's... better than me.

That's not the problem.

It's that you stopped loving yourself.

You've become sad,
annoying, depressing.

You don't believe in yourself.

Look, you're even leaving yourself.

Alain, this is too much for me.

I need you.

Dr. Petrowski, it's Sophie Morel,
the head nurse.

Yes, it's me.

Not just the voice.
I must see you.

Where you going, Dad?

Nowhere.

Cool cause we gotta go.

Where?

The courthouse.

I have to tell them the deal's off.

That I can't buy the paper.

You okay, Valentine?

Yeah...

I know about the trophy.

Sorry.

It was to boost your confidence

Be strong, sweetie.

Please.

Sorry, guys.

I know you believe in me,

but I realized something.

It's that I suck.

I suck in Economics,

I suck at rugby, at rhythmic gymnastics.

People say,

"Where there's a will,
there's a way".

But they know nothing.

And...

losers never come in first.

And strikes always end badly.

And in real life,

you can't buy confidence
at the drugstore.

So...

What Alain means is that...

he can't do a miracle by himself.

For the paper to succeed,
he needs you all!

Often he didn't believe in it.

But thanks to you, he believes!

Alain knows
he was a lousy editor-in-chief.

Just like he knows he's become sad,

annoying, depressing.

After doing nothing for so long,

inventing stomach flus
to play Candy Crush in the bathroom,

watching porn,
with his wife asleep beside...

Thanks, Sophie.

A round of applause for Alain!

Are things okay with Sophie?

Dr. Petrowski
Head of Neurology

Come in.

Hello, Dr. Petrowski.

I'm Sophie Morel, the head nurse.
I called you.

I think we can confirm

that this child is indeed Mrs. Morel.

The phenomenon has affected
her entire family.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have before us the greatest discovery

in all of humanity.

But can we cure them?

Cure them?

Cure them of the greatest discovery
in all of humanity?

Are you stupid?

Just asking...

You were right to come, Sophie.

Don't worry. We'll cure you.

Thanks.

- Was that another fake trophy?
- No, sweetie.

You just gave me a real one.

- How will we manage?
- Like you said.

We'll take out a mortgage, borrow and...

I'll try to believe in it.

Yes, it's me. I mean... yes.

What?

I'm on my way.

What is it?

Granny... Léo had a heart attack.

He's at the hospital. Come.

Staying young at heart is good.

But for running and dealing drugs,
your arteries must keep up the pace.

From now on,
we play Scrabble and take our meds.

Do we agree?

She's not easy.

What's your mother up to?

What a mess!

The Enchanted River

Everything will be fine, Mrs. Morel.
Stop moving.

This is totally harmless.

But this...

may hurt a bit.

...Sophie inside her daughter's body.

Christophe, you shouldn't be here.

Untie me or they'll dissect me.

Just a sec.

Hurry!

Mom.

Finally! Where were you?

We have to run.

- Why?
- The doctors know everything.

Let's go.

Hey.

Thanks.

Hello, Alain.

He knows?

Security alert.

Everyone knows.

There!

Go on. I'll stop them.

- That's Christophe?
- Yes, Mother.

So much better than Alain!

Go on, faster Léo! You're lagging!

This way!

I'm dead.

Thanks for giving me a heart attack!

Léo didn't smoke for 50 years.

Spare me!
I don't smoke in a 7-year-old body!

You screw guys in my body.

For once, you're useful!
I jumped on the occasion.

Are you crazy?

This is sheer madness.

We have a problem.

Instead of finding a solution
we cast blame!

Look.

This is us.

Unable to go on a ride together.

Do you realize?

Our problem is...

we're not a family.

A family stands together
against adversity.

Families...

You don't choose them

but you're there for them.

You love them.
Invest more of yourself each day.

Dad, what was your wish?

You wish. What was it?

My wish?

You must have made one!

It wasn't really a wish.
Just a thought.

- What was it?
- Nothing!

Your wish, Alain.

Out with it, Alain!

Change families.

Okay...

What kind of father wishes that?

A bad father.

A migration of consciousness.
Never before seen.

You don't get it.
You must arrest them!

Forget the law.

If it takes cutting one open, I will.

We have 6 anyway.

We buy tickets,
run to Enchanted River,

jump into a boat
and we undo the wish.

We can't wait till April 6th!

I'll be dead by then!

Let's go.
I'm sick of this body.

And we're off!

Everyone, hold hands.

Hold hands, everyone!

So listen,

I wanted to tell you

you're my family.

For nothing in the world
I'd want you to change.

I love you.

Sometimes I forget.

But I love you.

You're my whole life.

So listen, Rock,

I really learned my lesson.

I'd like to go back to before.

- Seriously? That's all?
- What did you expect?

I made my wish.
Let the rock process the request.

- One night should do it.
- Yeah, right.

- I'm hungry.
- Me too.

Dr. Petrowski,
Colonel Desmoulins here.

Can you describe the patients of yours
who escaped?

The "patients",
as you call them, Colonel,

all six of them,
are dangerous psychopaths

who escaped from confinement.

And they are contagious.

Violent and determined.

To be captured at any cost.
And brought back to me.

We found this.

Not eating, Daddy?

I'm not hungry.

Don't worry, Dad.

I wanted to change families
tons of times.

I prayed for a brother less dumb.

I'm serious.

I always wanted a different son-in-law.

But I never kept it hidden.

When I get home,
I often want to kill each of you.

So you found someone else?

I didn't find anyone else, Chacha.

I love the man that I'm with.

But I wanted him to change too.

It's Christophe.

- I'll talk to him.
- Let me.

I'll talk to him.

Easier if it comes from me.

No, it's true.

I also had a lovely time.

I'm sorry, Christophe.
She's the one.

Sure they're here?

90 minutes on the phone. Easy to trace.

Exit the mushroom! You're surrounded!

We know you're inside.

Don't try anything stupid.

We will do you

no harm!

Don't trust appearances, Colonel.
They're deceiving.

Sophie,

trust me.

If you cooperate,
everything will be fine.

Dr. Petrowski, what the hell is this?

Yes, that's me.

- It's you?
- Who else?

She's lying!

What's he talking about?

Why are you here?

Do you have children?

My eldest saved my paper,
and I called her dumb.

It's the little one's birthday.

But it was closed.

So I played the hero
and we came in.

I'm not a good father.

But I'm trying.

May he who is a better father
cast stones.

Cut the crap!

Yesterday you spoke to me
from your daughter's body.

I mean, your daughter spoke.

But... you were inside her.

Evacuate the sector.

She's lying!

They're lying, all of them!

Arrest them!

Take him in.

- Take him in!
- Don't touch me!

Hands off! It's them!

Move on out of here.

Thank you, Valentine.
Very nice little speech.

Wait till you have kids.

So now you're thinking,

"Poor family,
never got their bodies back."

It's true.

But we've changed.

We've become a family again.

What do we do, Mom?

We go home.

Then what?

We keep looking.
There must be an explanation.

We've learned our lesson.
Time for this to stop.

One year later...

We're home!

Fuck!

There you go.

Thérèse,

how did it go at the paper?

Splendidly, Alain!
Your Commie colleagues didn't notice.

Daddy,

please,
can Anouk and Shana sleep over?

Ask your mother.

Mommy, please,

can Anouk and Shana sleep over?

Come on, Mommy, please!

It's my b-day!

It's her birthday.
Let her have a life!

No fair!

As always on my birthday,
I can't do what I want.

Honey... enough with your diagrams!
There's no logic.

We don't switch for a month

and suddenly, 3 switches in a row.

Or else

there's something we're missing.

No fair!

Shake, it's magic

Fuck, lay off me!

No child smoked on the shoot.
No llama smoked on the shoot.

The director even quit smoking
on the shoot.