Fame-ish (2020) - full transcript

10 please.

I like your costume.

Thanks, I was going to cosplay
as Urahara from "Bleach",

but I couldn't
find the right hat.

I tried to dye
green streaks in it,

but then the whole
thing turned green,

so I went with Naruto instead.

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?



Shit.

Hello?

Heather, Your brother's here.

Uncle Jeffrey.

Uncle Jeffrey.

I'm your Uncle, I want respect.

Okay look, I brought
toys for you, look.

This, I just directed that,
okay you can have that one.

No fighting.

This one I just voiced, okay.

And this one I voiced,
wrote and directed.

You don't care, goodbye.

Hi.

Hey, how's it going Heather?



Hey buddy.

What buddy?

I don't want any books.

Okay.

I have to feed the baby,
we'll catch up later.

All right, I'll talk
to you later, bye.

Hey Rob, what's up?

Hey, dinner's almost ready.

Cool, hey can I talk
to you afterwards?

For a minute?

Okay, good talk.

I can't, I
just don't have it.

Just to get
me through the summer.

What about NFL Films?

You won an Emmy with them.

Surely they can find
something for you.

That was 20 years ago.

Everyone I know there is gone,

or dead.

Just go back to anime.

You're a superstar
in that world.

Actor, writer, director.

Jeff Nimoy.

Yeah.

It's complicated.

It's complicated?

You know what else
is complicated?

My checkbook's complicated.

Let me direct one
of your reality shows.

Also complicated.

You don't have the credits,

you know I can't do that.

If you gave me a show
I'd have the credits.

If it were up to
me, I would, really.

But it's not, I have bosses.

Go back to anime.

I just can't.

Then I can't help you.

I'm leaving.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

You okay?

Fine, I just like,

do you have any Xanax?

I have like no
insurance right now.

Yeah, left-hand
side, middle drawer.

How many do you need?

As many as you can spare.

Okay, well
don't take the whole thing.

I need them until the
kids are back to school.

Good?

Okay, take those.

Why do you need so much Xanax?

Well I don't know, Heather.

Why would I need Xanax?

Okay well, just be careful.

Bye buddy.

Bye.

What's my name?

Nimoy.

Say, Uncle Jeffrey.

Nimoy!

Leonard Nimoy.

Love you, buddy.

Bye, love you too, bye.

Bye.

Eat something.

This is Jeff.

Hello, I'm
looking for Jeff Nimoy?

Who's this?

Kyle Bailey,
I'm with Geek Kon.

Oh, hi.

Am I catching
you at a bad time?

Oh, no.

Great, well
if you remember,

we had you at our
anime convention

here in Madison, Wisconsin
about 10 years ago,

and we were wondering
if you'd like

to be a VIP guest
again this weekend?

This weekend?

Yeah, we had a voice
director recently cancel

and we need a big name

for our voice acting
workshop and director panel.

Are you available?

I don't know, I don't really
do anime conventions anymore.

In fact, I think the
last one I did was yours,

10 years ago.

Well, cons have
certainly changed since then.

Oh yeah?

From what I remember
it's just a free trip

to meet a handful of fans.

Well, true
the trip is free,

like all cons we provide
your airfare and hotel room,

but you may not realize
that now cons do things...

Plus you know,
anime conventions,

there's all that
handshaking, and hugging.

Lots of germ transference.

Well, one change is
we supply hand sanitizer now,

so I don't think
you need to worry.

Yeah, well unless there's
some other major changes,

I think it's a hard pass.

Well, I was
trying to tell you,

the major change is we
now pay appearance fees.

Cons are a lot bigger
than they used to be.

How does three
thousand dollars sound?

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

Oh, you wanted Jeff Nimoy?

Hold on, let me get him.

Jeff Nimoy.

Hi, I'm Jeff Nimoy.

Yes, I know.

I recognize you from
your Wikipedia page.

What's your name?

Oh of course, I'm Bobbi.

Hi Bobbi, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Shall we go?

Oh, sorry I'm nervous.

I just have never met
a big star before.

It's okay, I'm
not such a big star.

Don't be nervous.

Yes you are, you're like
the Steven Spielberg of anime.

Okay, at least the
Ed Wood of anime.

Can I get your bag?

No, don't be silly.

No, you are a VIP,
you deserve the best.

Okay.

Trigun is like
my favorite anime,

and Wolfwood is definitely

my favorite character
of all time.

When he died I cried
like a little baby.

I cried too, when he
died I was out of a job.

Of course I prefer the
Japanese sub-titled version,

but I don't think
that Sho Hayami

did as good of a job

at capturing Wolfwood's
essence as you did.

And your voice is much smokier,

which makes sense,

because as you know
Wolfwood is a chain-smoker.

You know, that
bag is on rollers.

You could just put
it down and pull it.

Of course.

Yeah, that's how it works.

Been that way for a long time.

Anyway, what an amazing
character Wolfwood was,

I mean a hard-drinking,
chain-smoking,

womanizing, perverted priest.

Typecasting I guess.

Wolfwood is 30, or maybe 40,

the characteristic
art style emerged...

Oh, Mister Nimoy!

You made it!

Kyle Bailey, we
spoke on the phone.

Hi Kyle.

I see you met Bobbi.

Oh yes.

She's quite the
encyclopedia of anime.

I'm a bit of a savant.

Bobbi will be your
handler all weekend.

Great.

So is this pretty much
the way you remember it?

It smells the same.

When you wear the same
costume for four days in a row,

sometimes things tend
to get a little, ripe.

Yeah.

We call that, otaku funk.

Lovely.

It gets far worse by Sunday.

As will my germophobia.

But I guess for 3000 dollars
I can put up with it.

As long as they
don't try to hug me.

They will.

They will.

Hey,

can I possibly,
can I get my check?

Yes, of course, I'm so sorry.

That's not it.

That I even have to ask.

There you go buddy.

Thanks, I'm sorry.

A little bit embarrassing.

No, no problem,
no problem at all.

Okay, so you seem
to be taken care of.

Enjoy your stay.

Thanks.

I hope you like your room.

Thanks very much.

Shall we?

Yeah, it'll be just a sec.

The elevator.

Thanks.

Okay so, this is your room.

Okay.

And you have my number,

so if you need anything
just text me, call me.

Do you need anything?

Not unless you have
any Xanax.

Sure.

How many do you need?

As many as you can spare.

Take the whole thing,
I've got more at home.

Gee thanks.

No problem.

Do you need anything else?

I don't, but if I do,

I'll call you, or text you.

Okay.

Okay, I've got your number.

Yeah.

Okay, goodnight.

Bye.

You're gonna
watch me go inside?

Yeah, I just want to make sure

you get in okay, that's my job.

Sure, okay.

I've been going through
doors since I'm 30 though,

so I know what I'm doing.

I know, sometimes
the keys are tricky.

Okay, goodbye.

Bye.

Sleep well.

Okay.

Don't let the lady
spiders bite.

Goodbye.

Bye.

But you're still here
is what I'm saying.

I'll go.

I just.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Sorry.

You've got a room
too though, don't you?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay I'll see you later.

Okay.

Okay bye.

Okay bye.

Go away.

Goodbye.

Hello Madison Geek
Kon, how you doing?

Good to see you again.

You too, man.

Did you know you were the
first actor I ever hired in LA?

No way, really?

You mean that Arnold
Schwarzenegger thing?

Oh my God you remember it?

Of course I do.

It was Arnold
Schwarzenegger as,

he was a short order cook.

It's like, put
down the short ribs,

what are you doing?

That's not barbecue
sauce, it's blood.

You remember every
line, it's insane.

Of course man,
that was a classic.

Oh my God.

All two episodes.

I'm surprised it
lasted that long.

I know.

Do you do many cons?

Yeah yeah, I do
quite a few actually.

I do this one every year.

Oh really?

Yeah, I've got some
family here in Madison,

so it's a good excuse for me

to get a free trip
to see everybody.

That's smart, good for you.

I miss working with you.

You too man, it's been great.

No one will hire me.

Oh shit, that's me.

I gotta go, see you later.

Whoa, has it been
a year already?

Damn, they'll let
anybody in here.

Jeff Nimoy!

Brian Donovan.

Oh my God, I can't believe it.

Dude, what rock did you
crawl out from under?

How long has it been, man?

I don't know, when did we wrap

that crappy anime series
I directed you in?

Don't laugh too hard,
it's still on TV somewhere.

That's why I keep getting
invited to these things.

We polished that
turd pretty good then.

Hey man, I've been
looking around.

I can't believe how
the money's changed.

There's like some serious
big business going on here.

Tell me about it, brother.

This is all I do know.

Really?

Seriously man, I travel
almost every weekend,

and I make a fortune.

Dude, sign me up.

Right?

No I'm not kidding, I need it.

Hello, Brian Donovan.

Hey you.

I was wondering
when I'd see you.

Hey Jeff, do you
know Nikki Boyer?

No I don't.

Nik, this is Jeff Nimoy.

Yeah, of course I know you.

I'm your biggest fan.

Yeah, right?

Oh, she's being serious.

Oh I'm sorry, that's sweet.

Thank you.

No seriously,

I really am.

Why don't you work more?

Oh, burn.

No no, that is
not what I meant.

Oh God.

That's what she meant.

No it's okay, I
know what you meant,

don't listen to him.

Mister Brian Donovan.

Oh shit, that's me.

Bye.

What do you say,
Madison, Wisconsin?

Geek Kon.

So, you're an actress?

Yeah, a voice actress.

Yeah I.

Right.

Sorry, I get a little
flustered around celebrities.

Oh come on, you really
think I'm a celebrity?

Yeah, you're like
the biggest name here.

Get outta here.

You are, I mean to me, anyway.

You should be my agent.

Nikki Boyer.

Oh shoot, that's me.

Nice to see you, I'll
see you up there.

Okay, go knock 'em dead.

Hi everybody.

Oh my gosh, I am so,
so happy to be here,

and I'm so grateful
because honestly,

I just want to thank the fans,

because if it
weren't for you guys,

I would not be where I am today.

So thank you so much,

I can't wait to meet each and
every one of you on the con.

Nikki Boyer.

Mister Nimoy, are you ready?

You're next.

Yeah, I'm rarin' to go.

Awesome, have fun!

Thanks.

He is a superstar
in the voice world.

You know him from Trigun,
you know him from Digimon,

you know him from
everything, Jeff Nimoy.

Oh shit, that's me.

You guys, you
guys are too kind.

Thank you so much.

Many of you I guess
know me from Digimon.

I played Tentomon.

A lot of you also know me as,

Nicholas D Wolfwood from Trigun.

I see we have a Wolfwood
cosplayer right here.

Anyway, it's been a long time

since I've been to
one of these cons,

and I'm really looking forward
to meeting a lot of you,

and signing some autographs.

If you want a
handshake or a hug,

on request only, please.

Please bathe.

Thanks.

Jeff Nimoy.

Jeff Nimoy.

Let's hear it for all of our
voice actor all-stars, huh?

Hey hey hey.

There's the man.

How's it going?

Good, I'm here.

You're over there.

Hey man, how much are you
charging for your autographs?

I think we should charge
the same, don't you think?

I don't know, free?

Dude, you have to charge.

Believe me, these
kids want to pay.

This is their super bowl baby.

And they save up all year,

just so they can meet their
favorite voice actor, like me,

and buy stuff from them.

I'm more of a
director though really.

I don't know,
it doesn't matter.

You've played plenty of voices,

and you've directed the
biggest shows, right?

What did they used to call you?

The George Lucas of
anime or some shit.

Spielberg actually, but
I'll take George Lucas.

Actually I'm more
of a Scorsese type.

For a con this size,

we should probably charge
like 20 bucks a pop.

Really?

Yeah man.

Nine times out of 10,

they sell it on Ebay
to the highest bidder.

You might as well
take your cut, baby.

What do you do, just
take the money yourself?

Yeah sure, or you get
your guest relations kid

to handle it for you.

That's why they're
called handlers.

Are you sure this is legal?

Hell yeah.

Okay, if you say
so, 20 bucks it is.

Damn, if this works,

I'm gonna sell my
autograph on Ebay too!

Oh, I'll be the
first bidder baby.

Set it up, set it up.

Digi-armor energize.

Yes, you want me to sign that?

Okay.

Right here?

Okay.

Yes, okay.

It's 20 dollars.

Oh, um.

Here, just take it and go.

What?

You want a hug?

Buddy,

there isn't enough hand
sanitizer in the world.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now that I understood.

Next in line.

Say Jim!

That is one bad outfit.

Whoo!

Thank you, I wore
it just for you.

I'm your number one biggest fan.

Well, right back at you,

I think I'm your
number one biggest fan.

What's your name?

Lana.

Just like Lana Turner.

Who?

Never mind, she's someone old,

like me.

No Lana Lang,
like from Supergirl?

Sure, whoever that is.

So I have a confession,

I have posters of you all
over my room at school.

There are no posters of me.

Unless you have one
of my mug shots.

I mean Wolfwood posters.

That makes more sense.

So, how much is
it for an autograph?

It's 20 dollars.

How about a photo with you?

Yeah sorry,
everything's 20 dollars.

I don't have 20 dollars.

Come on, please?

Something to remember you by.

Well how much do you have?

Nothing.

I'm a broke student,

about to graduate.

Then how did you
afford that VIP pass?

Someone gave it
to me for free.

And what did you give him?

It was a him wasn't it?

Maybe.

Please, please please
please please please.

Just something to
remember you by.

I don't know.

Well, maybe we can

I don't know, barter?

Like how?

You know, trade.

I give you an autograph
and take a photo with you.

And what do I
give you in return?

You're a lot of trouble.

Maybe.

It's probably best I
couldn't do it anyway.

Has that ever
happened to you before?

I can't remember,

it's been so long
since I've had sex.

Oh come on,

a sexy, famous,
looking man like you?

At this convention,

I'm famous and sexy.

Back in LA, I'm George Costanza.

You don't have to
be famous to have sex.

No, but it helps.

It helps fill the void, too.

I've filled it with fame, women,

alcohol, weed.

Sounds fun.

Anyway,

meaningless sex just wound up

hurting a lot of people,

especially girls like
you at these conventions.

So one day I decided
I'm only gonna have sex

with people I want
to wake up next to.

That was almost 10 years ago.

I haven't had sex since.

You haven't had
sex in 10 years?

That's insane.

Tell me about it,

I'm wankin' it like
a spider monkey.

But you were ready
to have sex with me.

I know, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, Lana.

But this fake fame
has gone to my head.

I thought I came to this
convention for money,

but now I'm thinkin' I
came for the ego boost.

But you are famous.

You have an Emmy.

From 1996.

Trust me, in Hollywood
they give out

those Emmys like
Halloween candy.

Man, I need a Xanax.

I've got some.

How many do you want?

As many as you can spare.

Thanks.

Jeff Nimoy.

Jeff Nimoy's cigarettes.

You know, even though
we didn't like have sex,

this is still like the
greatest day of my life.

I almost made love to Wolfwood.

How many girls can say that?

Only animated girls,

'cause you know, he's fictional.

Duh.

I'm not like some
crazy fan or anything.

I know you're not
really Wolfwood,

but like at the same time,

you are.

My voice is anyway.

I can't believe you
won an Emmy in 1996.

I wasn't even born yet.

How old are you?

18.

What?

I thought you told me

you were about to
graduate from school?

I am, Madison Girls Academy.

High school.

Holy shit!

What's wrong?

I usually have to be wasted

to get into this
kind of trouble.

Thank God I couldn't get it up.

What are you doing?

I'm looking up the age
of consent in Wisconsin.

Oh thank God, it's 18.

Still, you have
to go, right now.

I thought we were
gonna hang out.

No no no no,

we're never going
to hang out again.

Don't you understand?

I'm almost 50.

It was bad enough when
I thought you were 21.

People will think it's creepy.

I'm me and I think it's creepy.

I won't tell
anyone, I promise.

Please, please please please,

if you are my biggest fan,

you'll help me out and forget
this every happened, okay?

Lana!

Okay.

Let's go.

God, you sound like my dad.

Yeah, I'm probably
older than your dad,

so let's go, chop-chop.

So I'd like to thank you all

for coming to my
voice director panel,

and stick around because
in this same room,

if you like voice
actors, and who doesn't?

Except voice directors.

And since I'm a voice
director and a voice actor

I guess I hate myself.

Wow, big crowd.

But if you do
like voice acting,

there is another panel
right after this,

in this very room with

myself, and Lex Lang, the
man of a thousand voices,

and cryin' Brian Donovan.

Nicknamed so because he
makes all the girls cry.

Yeah, daddy.

Hey man, I'm Davis.

And Nikki Boyer.

Who I just met, but I think is

very charming and lovely.

Whooo!

You guys.

So stick around, and
we'll be right back,

thanks again, bye.

You want a second autograph?

No, come on.

Hey hey, gal.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Dude, what are you doing?

What?

It's not fair to charge
some fans and not others.

You can't sign unless you're
at a scheduled session.

Oh right right.

Guys, guys I'm so sorry.

I can't sign now, it's
against con policy.

But, I have an autograph
session tomorrow at six,

please come by then.

I'm so sorry.

I know, I'm sorry, it's
my fault, I'm sorry.

Sorry guys, yeah.

Yeah, I'll see
you tomorrow, okay?

See ya.

Thanks, bye.

You're gonna blow
the whole gig, dude.

Very uncool.

I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, it's my fault,

but we never used to charge
for autographs in the old days.

Yeah, well welcome to
the new world, grandpa.

Get it in gear, before you
send us back to the dark ages.

Okay, okay, relax.

Grandpa?

I'm only two years
older than you.

Yeah, whatever.

Ooh, whatever, good comeback.

No wonder they pay you
3000 dollars to be here.

They paid you three thousand.

Yeah, why?

What'd they pay you?

Two.

Ain't that somethin'?

Yeah, I'm gonna go
get us some waters.

Hey you do that.

Yeah.

I like this anime crowd.

I feel tough.

How do I break into
the voiceover industry?

You sorta have to move
to where the work is.

I mean no one's hiring
in Madison, Wisconsin.

So, you have to go where
they're doing the work,

and for me, that means LA.

This is for Nikki Boyer.

Was there anybody you
wanted to be directed by?

Oh that's easy, there's
this guy right over here.

Well Nikki, I'm not really
considered a director.

I wasn't talking about
you, I meant Jeff Nimoy.

Thank you, Brian.

It's not all about you.

Thank you so much,
that's very flattering.

Yeah, I've been
directed by him.

He's not so great.

When I did direct you,
I agree, I wasn't great,

but I'm only as good as
the actors I work with.

Well I'm only as
good as the writing,

and the writing was
so bad on that show.

Who did that show again?

Oh wait, it was you.

You didn't mind
those paychecks

I wrote you though, did you?

This shit just got real.

I don't think I've ever
seen this much testosterone.

You saw that much
when we used to date.

Ooh.

You two dated?

Briefly, on and off, okay?

Believe me, it's still on.

Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss...

You guys want me to kiss him?

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

All right.

Ooh.

Yeah, it was nice meeting you.

We're gonna mingle
a little bit more,

and we'll see you later.

Can I get a hug?

Sure.

I can die now.

Okay, you do that, bye-bye.

I hate these Meet and Greets.

Why should we have
to work overtime?

Because they pay us good money

to meet like this, one-on-one.

Yeah well, I'm not
seeing any of it.

Yeah you are,
they pay to be here.

Not enough.

I wouldn't get too close
to him if I were you.

To who?

You know, Mister Kissy Face.

Oh my God, are you jealous?

Maybe.

But seriously, I heard he plowed

like a million girls back
in the old days, on tour.

Like you've
never hit on a fan?

A million and one,

but I'm just saying.

Well, maybe he's changed.

Doubtful, I saw him
leaving this afternoon's

autograph session
with a young hottie.

Obviously a little Con nooner.

Don't spread rumors, Brian.

That's not cool.

Fine, ask him yourself.

Fine, I will.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'll be here when you
come crawling back.

Hey, how's it going man?

Well if it isn't Jeff Nimoy.

Oh, how'd you kn...
oh, you cheated.

I swear to God I didn't.

How's it going?

- Good.
- What's your name?

- Brandon.
- Brandon,

okay, how's it going?

Can I get a, oh a club
soda please, thanks.

That's it?

Yeah.

Come on,

Mister Nimoy we've
got a full bar,

you can get anything you'd like.

Oh, oh, okay in that
case I'll have a club soda.

Comin' right up.

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

Hi.

Oh hey, how's it going?

Good.

How about that
panel today, huh?

Yeah.

How about that kiss?

Sorry.

No, don't be.

It was fantastic, the highlight
of that hour, for sure.

Oh, how much do
I owe you buddy?

Oh, nothing for VIP guests,

only the fans and
staff have to pay.

Really?

Yeah.

Can I get you anything?

I'm good.

It's on me.

No, thanks though.

Pretty generous of me.

Yeah, pretty generous.

I'm a giver.

So?

So, can I ask you a question?

Shoot.

What's your stance
on sleeping with fans?

I'm sorry.

Wow, didn't expect that.

Caught you off-guard, huh?

Well, to tell you the truth,

in the old days I
was quite for it.

But now that I'm older,

I don't foresee myself
doing much of it anymore.

Really?

Really.

So what about that girl in
your autograph line today?

That time it really
did come out of my nose.

Are you stalking
me, Nikki Boyer?

Maybe.

Okay.

I thought about it.

I thought about it hard.

But in the end it wasn't
as hard as I thought,

to turn her down.

Good.

Good.

You know, we met before.

Oh, did we?

Did you audition
for me or something?

No, it was actually at a con.

A con?

Yeah, back in Saint Louis,
that's where I'm from.

Oh wow, Saint Louis?

That must have been
a long time ago.

Yeah, gosh it was
like 15 years ago.

Wow, you must have
been like a kid?

Well I was graduated
from college.

And you were already
a voice actress?

No, not yet.

I was attending
the con as a fan.

Wait a minute.

My sleeping with fans,

all this line of questioning,

did we like make
out or something?

No no.

And you're busting me?

- No.
- All these years later.

All right, I'll take
your word for it.

But, I was a big fan of yours.

Still am I guess.

Cheers to that.

Anyway, I remember
that you stayed

way after an autograph
session was over,

to make sure that
each fan got one.

Must have been like five hours?

Huh, I kind of remember that.

And you didn't charge a cent,

it was totally free.

I guess it's different
circumstances for me now.

I'm sorry about that.

Hope you made a lot of money.

I did actually,
like a small fortune.

Well, good for you.

I mean look, it's not
a bad thing to charge,

and I do it sometimes when
the other actors ask me to,

but I usually end up

giving the money to
charity or something.

Well if it makes
you feel any better,

the Jeff Foundation
is taking care

of poor impoverished
voice directors,

and paying their rent.

Can I ask you
another question?

What till I swallow.

All right, go.

Why do you need
the money so bad?

Oh geez.

Don't be shy Nikki Boyer,

ask me a real personal
question next time.

It's a long story.

Maybe after a few
more club sodas

I'll loosen up and tell you.

Okay, that's fair enough.

Want to walk around the con?

Yeah, great idea.

Let's go.

Hey man, for the tip jar.

Oh, thanks.

Thanks buddy.

Easiest drink I'll have
to remember all weekend.

You don't really like
the fans very much, do you?

No, I do, I do.

They just get a little
crazy sometimes,

don't you think?

No not really, I
actually think it's cool,

because they're
usually outsiders,

and they feel like
they don't fit in,

and I'm sure some of
them are even bullied,

or made fun of for
liking cosplay so much,

but here it's not like that.

I never thought
of it that way.

Yeah, you're right.

This place is pretty nice.

I haven't been this
relaxed in forever.

Relaxed is good.

Stress will kill you.

Oh yeah.

I've also been a little
depressed lately.

Well that's not good.

No, it's like
very not good, okay?

Believe me.

Take the opposite of good, okay.

What's the opposite of good?

Not good, that's the
opposite of good.

But that's good.

I thought we'd do
the greatest tremendous

most tremendous impersonations
of all time, okay?

Probably the greatest
impersonator ever.

Who else do you do?

I do Herve Villechaize.

Hello boss.

I don't know who that is.

Da plane, da plane!

No.

Fantasy Island.

I think it's before my time.

How dare you?

How dare you?

See, how can you stay
depressed around me?

I guess I can't.

I mean, how depressed are you?

Not as depressed as
this guy, obviously.

That's him.

Depressed, depressed.

Like suicidal?

- No!
- That's good.

Not today.

Jeff?

Well if I did die, no one's
life would be different.

People would be sad.

I would be sad.

Yeah, you'll all be
sad for a little while.

You know this guy'll be
sad for a minute or two.

But no one's life will
physically change.

I have no wife, no kids.

It would be like
I was never here.

Poof.

There'd be no Digimon.

Of course there would.

I didn't create the show,
I was just a hired monkey.

It's a fluke I even
worked in anime at all.

I couldn't get
arrested as an actor.

Then I booked a cheap little
VO job in anime one day,

and then worked it into
writing and directing,

then I got Digimon, and I've
been stuck in anime ever since.

It's not a bad
place to be stuck.

If you say so.

Wow, you are depressed.

I'll be okay.

As long as you're here.

But as soon as you leave,

I'll be depressed again.

Well I guess I'd
better not leave then.

Well, be careful
what you wish for.

It's getting late.

Let's get going.

Later than I think.

Oh!

Hate you.

Meanwhile, at the
hall of justice.

Well, this is me.

Okay.

Thanks for today.

I had a really good time.

Me too.

Wanna come in for a nightcap?

I thought you didn't drink?

All right, you busted me.

You did promise not to leave me.

Oh promise is kind
of a strong word.

I just don't want
the night to end.

Are you sure your depression
can handle more fun?

I can handle more of that
kiss you gave me today.

Maybe I'll come to
your room tomorrow.

Tomorrow, huh?

Yeah.

But I never said anything
about my room tonight.

Okay.

Yes!

Yes!

You can get some shrimp?

Yes, I can get some shrimp.

Okay well.

He must really
want some shrimp.

Voice actors love shrimp.

I think they, maybe they
expect that on the set.

All the time.

Well look what the cat
from Trigun dragged in.

Hello Kitty.

Good morning.

You look well rested.

Thank you.

Sleep well?

Reasonably.

You?

Very well, thanks.

Although I didn't have anyone

to keep me warm last
night like you did.

Are you stalking me, Brian?

No, but I can tell
by your reaction

that you were with
Nimoy last night, ha.

Ha ha, not funny.

No, not ha ha funny,

ha ha the joke's on you.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Good morning, all.

Hi.

Good morning.

What's up?

Hey, try the
sausages, Nikki did.

This little one's
the perfect size.

You're so juvenile.

What was that all about?

It's not worth it.

Neither is this breakfast.

Plus I don't see any food
handlers wearing gloves.

I have a better idea.

Why don't I buy you breakfast
downstairs with my per diem?

Yes, indeed-em.

All right, it's nice to have

some money in my
pocket for once.

You were too perfect.

I will have a waffle, and
a side of sausage please.

Great, could I
get you guys started

with some mimosas
or bloody mary's?

Ooh, I'll actually
have a bloody Mary,

extra spicy please.

Excellent, and you sir?

I'm good with
just coffee, thanks.

I'll be right back.

So, tell me
about this new job.

Oh, so it's an
interview for a producer

of like "Best Beach Paradises,"
or some crap like that.

That's great.

So you love the beach.

Yeah, yeah, but more importantly
it's a job in reality TV,

and if I can build
my reality TV resume,

I can hit up my
bigshot brother-in-law

the reality TV
producer, for a gig.

- Great!
- Yeah.

Well, fingers crossed.

Thank you.

Here you go.

Thank you.

All right, to you
getting this job.

Thank you.

God, I need this job too,

I haven't worked in forever.

Why don't you just
go back to anime?

It's complicated.

You don't drink
at all, do you?

Well, I used to,

a little too much.

Oh, is that a problem?

It became one.

The slightest little
emotional setback,

and I reached for
the Jack Daniels.

Hurricane Jeff would come
blowin' through town,

destroying everything
in its wake.

So when did it get bad?

Oh yeah well,

there was an incident.

One drunken night I broke
into this recording studio,

that was underpaying me.

Uh oh.

I had the
keys, I let myself in,

but I started throwing
things around,

messing with all the levels,

but then I went a little
too far, even for me.

Okay, what did you do?

I took a dump
on the control panel.

- No.
- Yes.

You didn't?

I did.

That is so gross.

I know, I know.

It was terrible.

I was fired the next day.

The day after that,
I quit drinking.

Smart.

Not smart enough.

I couldn't get arrested
in anime after that.

That's the complicated
part I told you about.

Is it that?

That's real complicated.

But I don't understand.

How did they know it
was you that, you know,

left the doodie
on the soundboard?

Yeah.

In a way I sort of confessed.

How?

I signed my name.

With the doodie.

Here is
your food, pardon me.

I kind of lost my appetite,

everything looks
like a turd now.

You're so funny.

Oh my God.

Leonard Nimoy!

Well, if you have no appetite

then how about we
go back upstairs?

And work up an appetite maybe.

Okay, I like that idea.

Okay, let's go.

All right.

I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Hey, no no no, I know a
shortcut, I know a shortcut.

Go this way, yeah, yeah.

Thank you for the question.

I really loved doing Word Girl,

but I have to say,

thank you,

but I have to say
my all-time favorite

was probably Captain Infinity.

Any other questions?

Yeah excuse me.

Hi Miss Boyer, I
have a question.

In Naruto, do you think
your character Shika-Shika

had a little crush on
my character, Rock Lee?

Really?

No actually, I think she
hated him, and I can see why.

Next question?

No no no, what about
when my character

saved your character's life?

Do you think she regrets that
they never became lovers?

Actually in the backstory
that I created for my character,

they did become lovers,

but in the end, she
dumped his sorry ass.

Okay, final question?

What does Brian
Donovan look like naked?

Well, it's like
a bad anime series.

It looks all slick,

but the story line is
really hard to find.

All right you guys,
thank you so much.

I loved this, I look forward

to seeing you at six p.m. at
my autograph session tonight.

Okay?

Nik?

Hey Nik, come on wait up.

Nik, come on.

Nik, wait.

What, you totally
hijacked my panel, Brian.

Look, I'm sorry.

No, you're not sorry,

you just want to punish me
for being with somebody else.

No, no I want you back.

Brian that is so messed up.

Listen, I've been thinking,
we ended prematurely.

We never gave it a real shot.

But seeing you at the con,

makes me realize you're
the one that got away, Nik.

Brian.

Come on.

You know you still
have feelings for me.

I, I don't.

I've been hanging out
with Jeff all weekend.

Oh, fuck Jeff Nimoy.

You fucked Jeff Nimoy.

Brian.

I figured you
guys fooled around,

but I thought.

I don't want to
hurt you, okay?

Why should I be
surprised, Nik?

You slept with me
on the first date.

How dare you.

Yeah well, I'm an idiot
to think I was special.

That's not fair.

I just...

It's just what?

I think I might be
falling in love with him.

Again, I don't why
I should be surprised.

You told me you loved me
on our second date, Nik.

Brian, don't do this.

I thought we were friends now.

Oh, God.

There you go.

Hey I'm a huge fan.

Could you relay this.

Sure.

Hi, I thought Jeff Nimoy

was supposed to sign
at this time today?

No, that was yesterday.

Today he signs with
Nikki Boyer at six.

Shoot.

Do have something
you want me to sign?

Oh sure.

I mean what shall I do?

Okay.

So you really like Jeff, huh?

I mean yeah.

Your favorite actor?

Wolfwood is like
my all-time crush,

but Jeff is just like.

We're really close friends like,

more than friends really.

Really?

Yes.

'Cause that's not
what he told me.

What?

No, he just said you
were his new Madison pump.

He's got a fangirl
in almost every city.

No, he doesn't sleep around,

he literally told
me he never has sex.

Oh no?

Yeah, he never has sex.

Why don't you ask him,

why don't you text
him right now?

I don't have his number.

He's sleeping with you,

but he doesn't give
you his number?

What does that tell you?

Okay, give me your phone.

I'll put his number in for you.

Never has sex.

Tell that to Nikki Boyer.

They've been bumpin'
bellies since they got here.

No, I don't believe you.

They're probably doing
the hokey-pokey right now.

What time is it?

Time for his five
o'clock feeding.

They're doing it, all right.

Hey wait,

wait your phone!

I can't believe I was able
to do it twice in one day.

You're not that old.

No, but twice is a rare
occasion for me indeed.

Well, I'm here to tell
you from experience,

you can still do it
twice in one day.

Thanks.

It's not just age, I told you.

I've been stressed
out of my mind lately.

I even started smoking again.

Oh no, uh-uh.

That's a big no.

'Cause I can't be with a smoker

so that has to stop.

I only smoke
when I'm stressed.

Take a Xanax, or something.

You want one?

No.

I'm not as stressed
when I'm with you.

You're like the best Xanax ever.

I'm thinking about

bottling you and selling you
to a pharmaceutical company.

Don't be stressed out
about your interview,

you're gonna get it.

I don't recommend going
broke in your late 40's.

Hey, maybe you
can't work in anime,

but they still love
you at the conventions.

Okay, so?

So, like you can make
thousands in a weekend.

Yeah, but all I need to
do is get invited first.

This is my first con
invite in 10 years.

They don't know
you're interested yet.

I don't know.

What's there to know?

This is a job, and
you need a job.

Yeah but,

I didn't move to LA to
be some Z-list celebrity

at anime conventions.

I didn't mean it like that.

It's just that

I came out to make real
movies and real TV shows.

Anime shows are real
movies and real TV.

Yeah, but no,

not to me.

I can't explain it,

I just, if I did this full-time
I'd feel like a failure.

That's ridiculous.

Do you consider me a failure?

No.

So neither are you.

So come travel with me.

Come on.

We're doing this
huge Digimon tour,

and I voice one of the leads.

I'm not in it.

So what? Who cares?

You're Mister Digimon,
they'd love to have you.

You think?

Absolutely.

Think about it,

going on tour together.

It'll be so much fun together.

Yeah?

Yeah.

- Like this?
- Yeah.

Just like this?

Forget Xanax, you're
more like Viagra.

Uh-oh, here comes another plane.

That's my phone.

Ignore it.

They keep texting.

They're just gonna
keep on calling.

Let them call 9-1-1
if it's an emergency.

It's important.

Could I be frustrated
after twice already?

What is this?

What is it?

I think you should know I'm
also sleeping with Jeff Nimoy.

What?

You jerk!

Whoa take it
easy, who sent this?

Oh, there's so many
you can't keep track?

Oh my God, that's
not what I mean.

Brian warned me of this,

he said that you had a
different girl in every city.

That is absolutely not true.

Why did he say it?

Oh fuck Brian
Donovan, who knows?

He's probably jealous of me.

In the old days, when we
were on tour together,

I was a little
rambunctious with the fans.

But that was a long time ago.

I haven't been like
that for years.

Who is this girl?

I don't know.

She the girl that you
took up to your room

for a nooner on Friday?

What?

What?

Yeah, is she?

Don't lie to me Jeff.

I asked you about this last
night in the Green Room,

and you said that
it wasn't true.

I will swear on
a stack of Bibles,

I did not have sex
with that girl.

Did you bring her upstairs.?

Yes but, but, but, but...

Jeff, be serious.

But, but, I told you.

I thought about it, I
thought about it hard,

but I could not go
through with it.

And, and, I barely even
knew you at that point.

It's not about the timeline,

it's about the fact
that you lied to me.

A, I didn't lie to you,

and B, it is about the timeline,

because I didn't
even fall in love

with you until last night!

Did I just say that out loud?

Shit.

You fell in love with me?

I think I love you,

but I didn't want
to say out loud

because I knew it
would scare you away,

'cause it's so soon.

That was just during breakfast.

Oh hey guys.

Hi.

You look really
cute in that T-shirt.

Ah.

So you were with her
after you were with me?

What?

Mm-hmm.

Whoa, slow down, slow down.

Please tell me this
is not happening.

I was in love with you!

You said "I love
you" to her too?

Of course not,
she's just a kid.

A kid you took to bed.

Hey Jeff, please tell me,

please tell me,

because I'm starting to think
that you're a sociopath.

Did you?

No, not the way
she's saying it.

This feels like another
timeline issue, because...

I'm such an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

You're gonna fall in
love in a split second,

and then a split second
later, I'm getting burned.

I'm not burning you.

I'm the one who's getting
burned, I had him first!

What did I expect?

I don't even know you.

You know me better
than anyone right now.

I asked you an hour ago
if you slept with her,

and you said no!

I didn't.

Only because he
couldn't get it up.

You're not helping!

No don't, you're a jerk.

Nikki, Nikki
please, I can explain.

Oh yeah, explain it to me.

Lex, what the heck, man?

Daddy, I have
this under control.

Daddy!

Yeah, I'm her father, Jeff.

God, I wish you
hadn't done this.

Because now I'm gonna
have to hurt you.

Whoa, whoa, how is
she your daughter?

Because I banged her
mother, that's how.

I told you I had
family in Madison.

Your real name is Lana Lang?

Yeah, I told you that.

You told me you were
cosplaying as her.

Yeah, but it's
also my real name.

Yeah, a name that you soiled.

Daddy, I never
should have told you.

What did you tell your daddy?

She tells me everything.

She said you tried
to seduce her.

How is that even possible?

Oh, like it was that hard?

Now you're saying
my daughter's easy?

No Lex, but I mean, come on,

look at the way she's dressed.

She's till a teenager.

Which I found out
afterwards by the way,

and technically 18
is legal, I checked.

Who do you think
you are, Kevin Spacey?

Nothing happened.

Kevin Spacey?

Look, we made out a little bit,

and maybe I went to second
base, outside the costume,

and maybe I felt a
little something here.

So early detection,
that's a plus.

I'm gonna start by
breaking your fingers.

And if that doesn't
hit the spot,

then I'm gonna go for
the painful stuff.

Pliers, ice picks, whatever
I can find laying around.

Daddy, please don't hurt him.

Yes Daddy, please
don't hurt me.

Don't you call me Daddy,
you're older than I am.

And therefore
much more fragile,

so take it easy Lex,

you're a mediation
teacher for Buddha's sake!

Daddy please, I love him.

Shut up!

Don't you tell my
daughter to shut up!

Hello,

hello, hello, hello,
hello, goodbye.

Hey have you seen
anybody come through here?

Will you sign my badge?

Sure man.

So?

That way.

Thanks man.

Thanks kid.

Considering that I
got rid of Lex for you,

mind signing my cross?

You know what?

I got a better deal for you.

Cosplaying as myself.

I am a pathetic loser.

Hey, nice Wolfwood cosplay.

Thanks, Needle Noggins.

He even sounded like Wolfwood.

Hi guys.

If,

if you're here for the
voice acting workshop,

you're in the right place.

Why did you
come as Wolfwood?

Yeah, sometimes you just
want to be unrecognizable.

Anyway.

Tammy, tammy tammy tammy.

Jeff Nimoy is
cosplaying as Wolfwood.

You've got to come with me.

Oh man, I have
got to see this.

So one of the things
about voice acting,

it's really important to
have a good microphone,

otherwise it could
really kill your voice.

Speaking of killing your voice,

I think I have a sore throat,

I gotta go, workshop canceled.

This isn't worth 3,000 dollars.

Okay.

Mike Leonardo.

Hey Mike, it's Jeff Nimoy.

Hello?

Jeff?

Yeah hi, you
asked me to call you

about "Best Beach Paradises?"

Yeah sorry, I'm trying

to get the kids out of the room.

Kids, huh?

Hey Jeff look,

I wanted to interview
you for the producer job,

but then I saw your age on
Wikepedia, and to be honest,

it's really a younger
man's job, man.

Well, I'll tell you Mike,

I can outwork any younger man,

plus you're getting
all my experience.

I know, I
know, but seriously,

you're too senior for this role.

I'd be embarrassed
to offer it to you.

Don't be so embarrassed.

I've often taken
a lower position

just to prove myself to
the company, you know.

I'm sorry.

I hope you find
something really soon,

something that fits a
man with your resume.

Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, buddy.

Hey, if anything else
comes up in the future,

please keep me in mind, okay.

Yeah yeah
sure, take care.

Front desk,
how can I help you?

Nikki Boyer.

Hello?

Hey it's me, I just got
done with my phone interview.

Don't
ever call me again.

Room service.

Yeah could I order a
bottle of Jack Daniels,

and a bucket of ice?

One glass.

Well, we don't
actually give a whole bottle.

We can either do an
individual bottle,

or we can do a single drink
order, up to three drinks.

Would you like
something like that?

No, I'll go down to the bar.

Thank you.

So ridiculous,

it's like hanging out
with a bunch of children.

Get undressed.

Oh yes ma'am.

Hey, shot of Jack.

Hey, food's
getting cold over here.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back, too.

Mister Nimoy, can we
get a picture with you?

No, but you can
do a shot with me.

Who's in?

Yes.

All right, all
right, all right,

all right, all right, all right.

There you go.

All right.

Here's to adventures in anime.

Yeah.

You son of a bitch.

Get the fuck off me.

Hey what the hell?

Jesus.

Fuckin' asshole.

Save me Daddy.

Get back here
with my daughter.

I'm gonna War Greymon your ass!

What's up, Green Room?

What's up my man?

Mister Nimoy.

Club soda with lime?

No no, screw that.

You know how to
make a hurricane?

All right, screw that too.

Just give me Jack Daniels.

All right.

That's what I'm talking about.

No no no no.

I said, give me
the Jack Daniels.

Whoa, that is epic,
just like Wolfwood.

Whoo!

Here you go kid, you
gotta be legal somewhere.

Oh, that's my girl.

Here you go buddy,

that's all the autograph
money I made this weekend.

Holy shit, no way.

Thanks, Mister Nimoy.

Oh Jesus.

Wake up.

Come on, time for you to go.

You have to wake up and go away.

Get out.

Hey, leave me alone now.

Go!

God, you are such an asshole!

The only reason I wanted
to hook up with you,

was to get back at my father,

for leaving me here
in Madison, all alone.

But you're just as
much of a selfish,

deadbeat, loser, as he is.

Fuck you, Wolfwood.

Hey, this
is Nikki Boyer.

Please leave me a message,
unless you're Jeff Nimoy,

in which case, you can
pretty much fuck off and die.

Fuck.

Hello?

Jeff?

Jeff?

Hey, it's Robert.

Look, one of my story
producers on "House Flippers"

just got appendicitis.

I can get you approved because
it's a last minute thing.

Are you available?

Hello?

Hmm.

Where are you?

Madison.

What, Wisconsin?

What are you doing there?

I'm at an anime convention.

Shit, can
you get back to LA?

I need you here
tomorrow morning?

This is a big opportunity.

Yeah, I'm leaving right now.

Okay.

This could be the break
you're looking for, man.

Be at my office
at nine a.m. okay?

Okay?

I'll be there.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just woke
up, that's all.

I wrote it down.

Okay.

I'll be there.

Sorry to wake you.

No, it's okay.

Okay, bye.

Thank you.

You're not gonna eat?

Mm-mm, I'm not hungry.

I thought for sure
after last night

you'd work up an appetite.

About last night, Brian.

Wasn't it great?

Actually I owe you an apology,

because last night
was less of a,

we're getting back
together, thing,

and more of a, revenge
against Jeff, thing.

Well,

I figured something would
change your mind about him.

I didn't want to spoil
the mood, you know,

make you come knocking.

You were right about him.

No shit, right?

What'd he do?

He lied about the girl
that he took upstairs.

What a dick.

When I was at the buffet,

I heard some fans
talking about him.

Apparently Jeff was parading
around the con last night,

dressed like one
of his characters,

drunk off his ass.

Oh no, really?

Yeah, one day he's telling
everyone he's changed,

but he's still the
same chain-smoking,

hard-drinking, womanizing
pedophile that he's always been.

Just like Wolfwood.

Exactly, typecasting.

I gotta make some
changes in my life.

What do you mean?

Look, I have a
history of doing this.

I meet these new guys,

and I fall in love with them

without knowing
anything about them.

Yeah, but you and
I weren't so bad,

and we could be good again.

Last night was pretty good.

Brian, we have to
take it slow, okay.

Take it as slow
as you want to.

- Oh my God.
- Excuse me Missus Boyer.

What do you want?

I just want you to know...

Would you both please go away.

Yeah, can't you see
that this isn't the time?

I just wanted to say,

I hope you and Jeff will
be very happy together.

Are you kidding me right now?

Will you please just go away?

You have nothing
to worry about,

I won't be interfering
anymore in your relationship.

Okay first of all, there
isn't a relationship,

and second of all,

you and weird-out old
man pervert boyfriend,

can screw all the way till
junior high for all I care, go.

I told you, we
didn't have sex.

God.

He couldn't get it up.

Just stop, stop.

Okay, sorry.

Just wanted you to
know we never did it,

and we never will.

I'm begging you at this point.

Could you please just go away?

You know, I
would have thought,

after he was so drunk last night

that he would have at least
like touched me, you know?

Wait, so you guys did
not have sex last night?

No.

And he was also crying,
whispering your name.

He did?

Pathetic.

How sweet.

He could have at least sighed

one of those morning sighs.

Oh okay, right,
we're done, bye.

You know, I told
him that I did it

just to get back at
my dad, but like,

I think I really did like him.

You know like,
probably not love.

But I love the idea
of him, you know like,

a celebrity and all.

Sorry.

Okay.

Hold on.

If you didn't have sex with him,

then why did you
text me that you did?

Can you please go away,
you're upsetting Miss Boyer.

I never texted you.

I don't have your number.

You want me to get security?

No, it's fine.

Yeah you did.

I actually have it right here.

I never sent that.

Aren't you Lana?

Yeah, and that's my number,
but I never sent that.

Why would I?

Yeah, weird.

Wait, what time was
that text message sent at?

Let me get a muffin.

Yesterday at 5:15 p.m.

Does anybody want me
to get them anything?

Wait, Mister Donovan,

isn't that when I left
my phone at your table?

You were so sweet.

I ran away crying, and he
held on to my phone for me.

Anyway, thanks for
coming to Madison.

Okay.

You're my favorite.

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Bye guys.

Bye.

More coffee?

I'll pour.

Mister Donovan?

Could we have a picture?

Thank you.

You now.

Me me.

- Thank you.
- Thanks,

thanks a lot.

10 please.

I like your costume.

Oh thanks, I was gonna cosplay
as Urahara from "Bleach."

but I couldn't
find the right hat.

I tried to dye
green streaks in it,

but then the whole
thing turned green,

so I went with Naruto instead.

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

It's time for your
final autograph session.

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

Mister Nimoy?

Hi Kyle, it's Bobbi.

I'm just up at
Mister Nimoy's room

to take him down for his
final autograph session,

and he's not answering the door,

and I called his phone
and I can hear it ringing

from inside his hotel room.

I'm here, I'm here.

Oh oh, he's here.

He's here, never mind.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear
you I was in the bathroom.

It's okay, I'm just here

to take you to your
final autograph session.

Just give me a minute, okay?

I'm sorry.

I just need a minute,
I woke up late.

Okay.

You have something.

You got it.

Okay?

I'll meet you downstairs.

Yeah, okay.

Call me if you need anything.

Hello, Mister Nimoy.

My name is Ryan,

and I just wanted to say

what an extreme pleasure
it is to meet you,

and I came all the way from
Kenosha to shake your hand.

Ryan, no offense but,

I've been shaking a lot
of hands this weekend,

and I think I might be coming
down with something so,

what I'm trying to say is,

I think I'm done shaking
hands this weekend.

No offense.

Perfectly understandable sir,

but please allow me
to give you this.

You want me to sign this?

No, that is my mother.

You want me to
sign it for her.

No no, I brought
it to you as a gift.

You brought me a photo
of your mother as a gift?

Yes sir.

Thanks, I'll cherish it.

Well she recently
had stage four cancer,

and while she was
undergoing chemo,

we would sit and watch
episodes of Trigun together.

Wolfwood was her
favorite character,

both of ours actually.

It was really the
only bright spot

of either of our days,

sitting watching
Trigun together.

When we heard you were
coming to Madison,

she told me she was
going to get well enough

to get up out of her sick bed

so that we could come here
and meet you together.

So she was too
sick to come, huh?

No sir, unfortunately she
passed away a few days ago.

But I wanted to bring
you a picture of her.

That way it was like she
got to meet you after all.

So thank you, Mister Nimoy,

for everything you've
done to entertain,

not only me and my mother,

but millions around the world.

Kid,

I'm just a lousy voice actor,

and I'm a hack
writer and director.

I didn't do anything.

But of course you did.

No, kid.

If it wasn't me it would
have been somebody else.

But it was you,

and you put your stamp on it.

And we love it.

We love you.

So I can keep this?

Yes.

I'll cherish it.

Mister Nimoy, I know you said

you weren't giving out any
more handshakes or hugs,

and I am kicking myself
I did not get here

a day earlier when
you still were,

but the funeral was yesterday,

and I was wondering if
maybe I put a glove on,

if you would...

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Thank you sir.

You guys, I have time
for one more question

before I head to the airport.

Let's see.

I have a question.

Please, just one question.

Jeff, not here.

Well, you're not
answering any of my calls,

so you have to answer
me now, you're stuck.

Please, just one question.

What's the question?

Okay well,

didn't realize until now

I'd have to do this
in front of everybody,

but okay it is what it is.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

But I'm especially sorry
that I bent the truth,

but Nikki, it was the truth.

I didn't sleep with her.

I did want to, but
I didn't do it.

For God's sake Jeff.

Please just hear me out.

I couldn't, for lack
of a better term,

perform.

Oh shit yeah, limp dick.

The point is,

I couldn't do with her or
anyone for almost 10 years.

But with you, I had no problem.

Look, I've been stripped
down to raw honesty,

and I can't do it with
any girl that's not real,

and with you Nikki, it was real.

Hey look, I'm not
oblivious to my reputation,

I know what people say about me,

that I screw fangirls
at every con.

That's probably why
I haven't gotten

invited anywhere for so long.

But I'm older now, and
I'm trying to be better.

I'm a work in progress,
like everyone else.

I mean, I'm working it out.

Do you have
everything worked out?

What's your question?

Will you please forgive me?

Thank you guys so much for
being here, I'm so grateful.

I will see you next year.

You guys take care, okay?

So?

So, how did the
phone interview go?

Not good.

Well, it could
be a good thing,

'cause I reached out
to the booking agent

for the Digimon tour,

and she reached out to
the people in Denver,

at the anime convention.

They're dying to have you.

And they can give
you a few grand,

for this one,

and maybe more for other cities.

You did all that for me?

Yeah, I did.

So you forgive me?

You really shouldn't have
been with a girl that young.

I know.

This whole place,
it's an ego trip.

I'm flawed, Nikki.

The problem is, is that

I fall in love too quickly.

And you fall for people

who fall in love
with you too quickly.

You know I didn't
tell you everything

about the first time we met.

I actually asked you a
question at your panel.

I said, so how do you break
into the voiceover industry?

You know what you said?

Probably what I tell everybody

at these conventions, right?

You gotta go where the work is,

and no one's hiring
in Saint Louis,

and you gotta go to LA.

And that is
exactly what I did.

And I went from being
a fan who attends cons,

to a VIP guest at cons,

and that wouldn't have
happened if it wasn't for you.

You matter.

So, do I forgive you?

Yes.

But, we need to
start from scratch.

You know, get to know
each other slowly.

Work out our flaws,

if this is gonna work out.

That sounds good.

So are you coming to Denver?

There's a slight wrinkle.

What?

My brother-in-law finally
came through with a job.

But it starts tomorrow,

in LA.

Well,

I guess it comes down to
what you want out of life.

But either way,

you gotta go where the work is.

We're good now.

Don't do it again, all right?

- I'll see ya.
- Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow.

First thing in the morning.

Less chipper than
that tomorrow morning

- Okay.
- Okay.

It was Arnold Schwarzenegger

as like the ringmaster
of the circus, right?

Ladies and gentlemen,

this next poodle
dances and sings.

Is there anything
I can do for you,

because you seem
to be loitering?

Well we never said anything
about my room tonight.

My room tonight.

See you in the morning.

Okay, goodbye.

Okay bye.

You have a room too, right?

Yeah, right next door.

Great.

Mm-hmm.

It was Arnold Schwarzenegger
as a brain surgeon.

Oh yeah, I could
put down the scalpel,

and he said, he's the nurse.

Here's a toomer.