Fabulous Trinity (1972) - full transcript
FABULOUS TRINITY
I've always dreamt of
living in the countryside.
You can also die in this one.
Always bearer of bad news.
I had predicted all the setbacks we've
had because of your damned ambition.
What the hell is he saying?
We are enjoying the money
we have honestly earned.
Smuggling weapons for Zapata.
And if you
hadn't taken the wrong path...
we wouldn't have
knocked on the prison door.
Come on, you slackers!
- Are you bragging with that rifle?
- Quiet!
- I'm quiet.
- Come on!
- I never know where he points it.
- Are you going to make fun of me?
- Abusive.
- Me?
You've been staring at my
cleavage for three hours now.
If you come at night
you'll see her legs.
But this time
you'll have to pay.
Your luggage.
Hey, you! Where are you going?
The cancan is
danced in the saloon.
And you'll dance here.
Mulligan! Get
that little pigeon!
Damn it.
Don't move!
Let her go.
I'm sick of you.
Why don't you take off from
this town and leave us alone?
Be careful!
If you go down that road, soon
they'll offer a good reward for you.
Get your gun.
It won't be you
who gets that reward.
You caught three guys in
town. One of them was my friend.
If you like this town so much,
maybe you'll stay with us forever...
but it'll be six feet under!
He's dead.
That's true.
He's not shooting any more.
Blackjack! Mulligan! I'm here!
What's happening here?
Who broke the lamp? Blackjack!
How are you doing, Mr. Welles.
Why don't you teach that
hired thug of yours how to shoot?
Come inside!
I don't like to see
you around here, kid.
I don't like to see your face either...
but I put up with it.
See you later, Mr. Welles.
Don't worry, Mr. Welles.
Take this for the lamp.
Well...
No gunslinger uses that perfume.
You are the most quiet and
violent man I've ever seen.
And you are not far
behind with your slapping.
Gallant.
They're starving us.
If we'll get out someday,
it will be as a corpse.
Shut up! You walk!
If they gave us a meal,
even if it was bad, but
that would fill our bellies...
Cheer up, man. Do you know
what are you eating today?
What?
Lamb feet with potatoes,
veal ribs with onion...
and eggs with bacon.
- How many?
- A lot! Dozens.
Come on! Go ahead!
Two ladles each
and that's it. Next!
Hey! Where are the
lamb feet with potatoes?
And the veal ribs?
This is filthy water.
And the eggs? I want
to eat something solid!
Take it!
- Wash your face!
- We're treated worse than slaves!
BARBER
Look!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Shoot!
What happened?
Those fat guys are
causing trouble, boss.
A step forward!
Didn't you hear me?
Come on!
Another step forward.
Are you making fun of me?
A step forward this way!
- Juárez!
- At your service.
Juárez! Put your hand down!
He's there.
- Say boss.
- Less words and remember my orders.
- It's that you give too many orders.
- Shut up!
Don't you know what you
have to do with those three?
- Now we're getting shot.
- Stop giving them ideas, you idiot.
John!
I'm coming!
Hi. Do you want a cup of coffee?
That's your only vice.
You need money again.
I was thinking that I could
never be happy. Too peaceful.
Are you comfortable, Scott?
Have a seat.
The Sheriff's job is one
of the worst paid
Fifty dollars a
month is not much.
And a whole town with the right to
give orders and express their opinions.
At least you are free.
Too free. I've been out
of action for a long time.
Take it. Today's mail has arrived.
Mulligan.
No wonder.
I told him a few
days ago in the town.
If you want to hunt him down,
you'll have to cross the border.
He's gone to Mexico.
Ok. Thanks for the coffee.
Why do you insist
on going to Mexico?
I have relatives there, my
uncles, and I need to see them.
What do you think, miss? The
coach and the horse for 100 dollars.
What do you think?
That you won't go alone.
Up your foot.
I'm going to Mexico. I can get
you safely to your relatives.
You intend to come
with me to San Agustín?
Don't tell me your
uncles are in the prison.
Cockeye.
Fix the stirrup, it's too short.
Quickly, boss.
You treat those fat
little angels well. Understood?
Understood, boss.
- What did you say?
- Me? Nothing. It was him.
I was saying I'm tired to death.
My bones don't
support me any longer.
If you weren't so fat.
Enough with the talking.
The punishment is to work...
for ten days without rest,
and only four have passed.
It's been a hundred years to me.
At least you're leaning on me.
Shut up!
If they don't behave, shoot them.
You won't need so much accuracy.
I wasn't finished.
- Are you sure you want to do that?
- Yes. Help the Mexican government.
And especially earn a
thousand dollars for every...
load of weapons my uncles
smuggle through the border.
You're an incredible idealist.
More than a bounty hunter?
I promised to help you,
and I will.
Look, they aren't working.
Let them be.
I feel sorry for them.
Look.
If I were well fed...
Maybe she's our salvation.
Or our grave.
You can't stop here miss,
keep going.
This is a military zone.
Stop staring.
And now work a little bit.
You're compromising me.
Yes. Yes, sir.
Don't worry.
It seems we're recovering.
This recovery will
get us in trouble.
Shut up, already!
I have to talk to this soldier.
He's unbearable. Won't you hold him?
I'd like to speak
with Mr. Jiménez.
Not Mr. Jiménez.
Colonel Jiménez.
This prison's chief
and Zapata's protegé.
But I don't think he'd see you.
- Please. If you'd help me...
- Well, miss...
I'll try to convince him.
- You're very kind.
- And you...
I'm leaving.
I already told Zapata we don't
need weapons in this prison!
- I'm writing to him right away.
- He'll have to send a battalion!
He's having a bad day.
Maybe for you.
And what the hell do you want?
To tell you that at the entrance there
is a lady who wants to speak with you.
- I can't receive any old hag!
- She's young and beautiful...
and gorgeous.
Macho man!
- You said gorgeous, my friend?
- Yes.
So what are you waiting
for, man?! Come on!
CHIEF
Of course, miss. Be my guest.
Come in.
Did you write the letter already?
In a minute, boss, but this
is very urgent and you have...
to give me money 'cos
look at all the things I need.
Hay for the horses,
shoes... I mean horseshoes...
Can you leave me alone, grandpa?
Or else I'll give you a kick...
that will throw you out of
that window. Understood?
Damn old man.
Get out!
Sorry. I meant come in.
My name is Nora Winters.
Nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
- Please, have a seat, miss.
- Thank you.
How can I help you?
My uncles are here.
Here?
They're the brothers
Ray, Charles and Bud.
Excuse me? They're
smugglers who entered our...
country with a load of
weapons for the government...
and since I'm a revolutionary
friend of Zapata...
I kept the weapons...
and them.
- Have a seat, Colonel.
- As you please.
I'm sure we can find a way for you to
convince yourself of their innocence.
They've been fooled.
They thought the
load was for you.
So the thing is different. And deep
down I have to thank you 'cos...
the weapons are right here and I didn't
spend one cent of the revolution money.
And meanwhile they're suffering.
Don't say that, miss. Your uncles
are treated better than anyone.
And here they're
better than in a hotel.
Colonel... you're
a remarkable man.
And you're very kind.
- And a man that...
- What?
Too dangerous.
Excuse me, Colonel.
Yes? All you want is to disturb?
- I have news.
- So tell me and get out!
No news. All prisoners are
back, except for the three...
fat men that are being
punished without bread nor water.
And judging from their looks, I
don't think they're going to live long.
My uncles? What is this!
Ignore him. He's crazy.
I'll be back in a minute.
You're the best to screw it up.
I just gave you the report.
On top of that I'll
have to you thank you!
Ok.
Now you have to cheer them up
so they look healthy and happy.
And then you treat them with
consideration and gentleness.
- Understood?
- Yes.
You like that girl.
Macho man!
Do you see him?
The mess is starting already.
They're coming to lynch us.
Lay down.
- Me?
- Yes.
- But I'm not sick, I'm just tired.
- Same thing. Lay down.
Next stop: the grave.
Please.
Yes.
- Be nice.
- Yes, yes.
- Take this.
- What's that?
- Milk.
- Milk?
Yes.
I bet this milk is poisoned.
Give me that, you idiot!
Do you want some?
Please. Would
you kindly come in?
How kind
I don't trust this a little bit.
Would you ask us
what do we want to eat?
Do you want any special dish?
They want to make us suffer.
Right, Charles?
This is Japanese torture.
Colonel. May I come in?
Come in.
The lady is impatient.
Speak!
Can I finally give them a hug?
The lady is asking you if
she can give them a hug!
What's the matter?
You have a kiss
mark in your cheek.
And what do you care? Speak!
- The lady's kisses...
- What are you saying?
Not kisses. Uncles.
The lady's uncles are already
awake. They slept for twelve hours.
- They're fresh and healthy like roses.
- Didn't I tell you?
Here they're better than in a
hotel. This is like a health clinic.
Do you know what
they asked for breakfast?
Let's go inside!
Well, well, well.
A waist so small...
with uncles so fat, that's
some difference right?
Let's toast for
that little waist...
and for so many good things.
Colonel. I'd like to see
them now that they're awake.
Come on.
If there's no other way...
Come in, please,
don't be afraid.
You'll see them soon.
They're now on the third
dish of their wonderful...
breakfast. 'Cos your
uncles don't eat, they devour.
Silence!
Silence!
The same fuss every day, 'cos
we treat your uncles so much better.
Water!
I said silence!
You're prisoners, right?
We treat you here with
love and consideration.
If you're here it's because
you have threatened...
our revolution in
one way or another.
I should shoot you, but I don't.
I'll get you out of here.
Do you hear them screaming?
No!
And I'll tell you why!
They're decent people!
And good prisoners!
So shut up!
Or I'll make the rifles
of the revolution talk!
- I love to hear you talk, Colonel.
- So did you like it, gorgeous?
I'm very good with good
people, and very bad with the bad.
Don't look at me like that, you
should kiss the floor he steps on.
That's gross.
This time the Colonel, uh?
Too bad your visit was so
short. Like a doctor's visit.
Why don't you come later to
La Gloria? We'll continue talking.
To the post house?
If this doesn't harm
the revolution...
Our cause is already
won, 'cos it's good.
I'll be there. Juárez!
At 7 o'clock in the morning,
after they take a bath...
- you let this lady's uncles go.
- And take them to work in the fields...
- Not at all.
- No, sir.
You set them free.
Thank you.
Lady, you were forgetting this.
What a woman.
I wouldn't trust
a hustler like that.
- What a woman.
- Maybe it's a trap.
- Goodbye!
- Bye, bye, little lady!
She's an American
from a good family!
She invited me to
have a drink at 6 o'clock.
- And if she's not there?
- If she's not there?
I'll get back in time
to sentence those three...
fat guys to five
years of life sentence.
Damn it.
- The ace of spades again.
- I told you.
You won't have luck in Mexico.
You sure were lucky.
You were left a widow.
Isn't that damn tequila coming?
It's not.
- Because you're rude and drunk.
- Rosi!
Let her be.
I play the last game
of solitaire and I'm out.
Go up, Lala.
Are you cheating yourself?
You again?
Yes.
What do you want now?
To play a game.
Look, that's my bet.
I'm sorry, Mulligan.
I need that 500 bucks.
I hate brave men like you.
I can't stand them!
I'm in Mexico, and no
American can get me here.
- Are you sure?
- You have a filthy job.
But it's always better than
shooting someone in the back...
to get a couple of dirty bucks.
Come with me.
You better not touch that.
You'll hurt yourself.
Wanna keep fighting? Or we go
right now to the sheriff's office?
Damn pig!
My friend... look what you
get with your games. Let's go!
Mulligan! Don't be so stupid!
You're lucky, Mulligan!
I want you alive!
Scott.
And now be a good boy.
I'm sorry. I didn't
find another coach.
It's ok for what I need.
Thank you, sir.
- Tie the horses.
- Right away.
Too bad those fat
guys will break it.
It's ready, sir.
Shut up.
Let's not start.
Who's there?
Colonel Jiménez,
at your service.
Wait a minute.
I'm getting dressed.
Don't worry.
I'm sure you're very elegant
no matter what clothes you put on.
What a woman.
- I'm ready. Come in.
- Excuse me.
What? Are you
playing hide and seek?
It's that I'm very naughty,
Colonel. You'll see.
Get the flowers out of
the way, you smell better.
Don't be so impulsive, Colonel.
Besides... the door is open.
Don't worry. I'll close it.
Nora. Since the first day I saw
you I have something inside of me.
Maybe they're bad
thoughts, Colonel?
For the Virgin of Guadalupe,
quite the opposite!
I have some little birds inside
of me doing peep peep peep.
Fly, little birds!
Little birds, little birds.
Peep, peep, little birds.
Cheers, Colonel.
Here's to how much
fun you'll be having.
Excuse me.
What do you want?
We already let
the lady's uncles go.
Can I have one?
It's time.
Well...
Let's go.
Hey, fatties. Out.
- Nice niece you have.
- Yeah, right?
Come on, wake up.
What time is it?
Come on. Up!
What... what's happening?
It's time.
- Let them free.
- Free? Why?
It's not your business.
Good luck. Good luck.
If it was for me, you would've stayed
here 'till you were thin as a cane.
Stop!
Wait!
I told you to stop! Wait!
Where are you going?!
Stop! Stop! You
can't go in there!
We come to talk
with the prison's chief.
We want the weapons that you have kept.
If it's not by fair means,
it will be by force.
So if you get violent,
better by fair means, right?
It must be here.
Who?
- Your father.
- Dad?
What do you think?
Great.
But it's a coach with
two horses, right?
Yes!
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Come on!
Do you enjoy being free and
having a coach to run away, right?
The coffins go to the
cemetery in a coach, too.
Come on.
Rest.
Very well, Nora!
Get in!
Stop! Crooks!
Hurry!
I'll execute the four of you!
Crooks!
Scoundrels!
Wow. You're here.
Scott brought you, at last.
Get in there. Come on.
- Can I have a coffee, Sheriff?
- Have you seen on the table?
You're lucky, lately.
What are you gonna
do with so much money?
Time goes by.
I'd like to own a farm.
And breed horses.
That's my dream.
3000. That's
interesting, indeed.
They escaped to Mexico.
Nice faces.
I'm gonna hunt them
Very crispy with
some french fries...
Not the gallows! I'm innocent!
You have a bad time
even in your sleep.
Let's go, idiots. Hurry.
Why?
What do we have to do now?
Nothing, it's time to eat,
let's go find some chickens.
Stay here, Bud.
We have to stay until 10.
What a mystery.
I don't like any of this.
You have to explain to her what we
agreed upon so everyone goes their way.
Nora...
they want to quit
smuggling weapons.
- Because you're chickens.
- That's not true.
If they were chickens,
I'd already have eat them.
- Hey!
- Hey!
A horse.
- He betrayed us.
- Shut up.
Let's hide.
I hope it's not a trap.
Don't you trust me?
Hands up!
And drop the gun.
Higher, 'till the hat.
How will I drop the gun if I
have my hands in my hat?
He's right.
Scott is a friend of mine.
That scrawny man?
He's a friend who has
kept his promise...
by coming here to see if
our plan had gone well.
I bought this coach for you.
You could have bought a better one,
with a suspension system and a cushion.
We can go now.
Hey, scrawny. Aren't you coming?
Thank you.
I have an appointment.
Do you think he'll rub shoulders with
you given his clothing like an apple pie?
Don't say that or I'll eat him.
Those damn gringos...
and their lovely niece...
will remember my name!
I'm gonna put them
in jail until they rot!
Are you gonna jail them
again? They eat so much.
What do I care!
I'm gonna run after them
for the good of the revolution.
Although Zapata left
me with no weapons...
I have to fulfill my duty.
But... Out!
But...
when I find them, the first
thing I'll do is execute them!
And then... I'll hang them!
I'll sentence them
to life imprisonment.
Juárez! I need volunteers!
We'll run after them
tirelessly, mercilessly!
Juárez! Come out of hiding!
- Aren't you ashamed?
- I was recruiting volunteers.
- In the stable?
- They're donkeys.
And the rest are chicken!
- And what are you doing?
- I make love, not war.
How is our revolution
going to succeed...
if when I have to sacrifice
myself I'm left alone?
- Think that we only have guns.
- There are plenty of bullets.
If you want, my assistant could go
with you, so there will be more of us.
- It's ok.
- Pedrito!
Why does this guy have a rifle?
It's mine. I hid it when
Zapata's men came.
He's very loyal.
Besides, when there's
a shooting, he stands in the front.
- Stop this purgatory!
- Can't we go slower?
Stop for a moment.
Why?
My brother. Same thing
always happens to him.
Tell me, Nora. How
much will you pay this time...
to cheer my brothers up?
I'm so in the mood for business.
A thousand dollars
for every load.
A thousand shots in the
head we're gonna get.
The pessimist again.
He sees everything black,
like his clothes.
Ignore that woman.
It's too much money.
I have a better idea this time.
You'll go back to La Gloria, and
take the stagecoach to Watson.
To La Gloria?
To Hell!
But the Colonel
will shoot us dead.
No. Do you think he'll still
be shouting in his balcony?
Something worse. He'll
be hunting us with an army.
Enough.
Do you want the money or not?
We do.
When you get to
Watson ask for The Pirate.
I know he received an
important load of weapons.
Here's the money.
Pirate. Pirate.
I'd do anything for this.
We'll go where you say.
Yes, and we'll find
the gallows at the end.
I have what you're looking for.
A certain sheriff is looking
for the brothers Bud, Ray...
and Charles so he can give
me a reward: 3000 dollars.
If you give me 4000
I'll hand them to you.
I don't trust gringos
with a cowboy face.
Think about it. No hurry.
I wish I won't see you
again in my country.
- You'd do anything for a pretty lady.
- I know who you're talking about.
But that lady will
also be punished.
Let's go!
Come on.
Don't you realize that the
horses can't handle you?
- We're so heavy?
- Yes, fatso. Come on.
Push.
Wow, man. Another bossy one.
They're waiting for me
in Monterrey. I'll get the...
money for the next trips,
but if you don't push...
Come on, idiots.
Jiménez.
On top of that we have to put
up with the jokes of that parrot.
- Come on, push.
- Jiménez.
Come on.
Goodbye!
Goodbye, boys. See you later.
This woman left us stranded.
Haven't you figured out
yet that she likes me?
Women are your downfall, Ray.
That face looks familiar.
Why do you say such nonsense?
Who? Me?
Jiménez!
He's dumber than the parrot.
Do you think we're
gonna be scared?
Bud, Ray, Charles,
my dear friends...
what a pleasant encounter.
Let's go get them!
Aim!
Shoot. Stay still.
What's he doing?
Stay still. It's just that his
eyes are a little crossed.
Nobody told me that before.
- Make room for me.
- Keep down.
Let's cover!
Take that out.
Cockeye frightens
me more than bullets!
Let's go to the rocks.
Why don't you shoot?
You were aiming at us again?
- No, Colonel.
- Point that way!
They'll fall on us like ravens.
When they come down
they'll already be dead.
- Aim well.
- I'm not cross-eyed.
Aim for the fat guy.
- Which one?
- Anyone!
Follow me.
Hold the fire!
Hey, Fulgencio! The horses!
- Charles...
- Go, I cover you.
Yes, you'll cover me with soil.
I put the bullet
where I put my eye.
Come here.
Let's go.
They're coming back.
You! Mount the horses!
Follow me.
Charles, brother.
What? What?
I want to go back to prison.
Come on, hurry. Hurry.
Let's go! Gallop!
Keep going.
Keep going.
They're not here. Let's go.
Resignation, cousin.
- Take this.
- Wait!
Wait!
Don't you see they're not ripe?
- But I'm hungry.
- You're so stupid.
And why do we come here?
For two travellers?
- Is this the Watson stagecoach?
- Yes, sir.
- What time does it leave?
- When it's time.
- See you next time.
- Goodbye, Jack.
Don't we get in?
Are you gonna take the lady?
Let's go, man. Hurry up.
Easy. Easy. We'll be on time.
The thing is, a friend
of us may arrive...
What a fat problem you are.
Hurry up, ass.
Hurry up, man.
Be careful. Don't you
see there's no room?
- Get in already.
- You're stepping on me.
Careful, man.
You're so fat.
Excuse me...
do you need to travel today?
Yes, I'm going to the
funeral of my uncle.
And I'm with him.
So wait for the next
week's stagecoach.
Get down!
And you'll be in
time for the funeral.
If my cousin doesn't go to the
funeral, I could also get down.
Get down!
Hey, you have to pay first.
Do you think we're
common ex-cons?
Take.
Go ahead!
And my money? Give us the money back!
Use it for the next trip.
The suitcase?
- They took my suitcase!
- Mine too!
Run! Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
Didn't you want to
hunt those three?
I can't carry so much weight.
They're headed for Watson, right?
I'll catch them there.
Hi, Rosi. Pour me a whiskey.
Are you gonna drink
that poison, as you call it?
Today is a big day. I have to
celebrate, even with that oil.
Have you seen three fatsos?
You bet. They filled
the stagecoach.
Damn them. Juárez!
This rides make me hungry.
Ma'am, please, wouldn't you
have some beans or corn bread?
Anything you say, Colonel.
Then... get down!
- Come in.
- If I wasn't angry, I'd tell you...
you come in, ma'am.
But since I am, screw you!
Juárez!
- I'm here.
- Potatoes for the patrol...
and just water!
Good morning, Colonel.
Plates and place settings.
You'll be served
right away, sir.
- Have you seen how the people treat me?
- Good morning, Colonel.
Excuse me?
Have you already found
what you were looking for?
How did this gringo
get here before us?
- He's very fast.
- And do I mount a turtle?
What are you doing here? Speak!
I have to watch my 3000 dollars.
He's talking about the fatsos.
- I know, do you think I'm an idiot?
- Yes, sir.
- Huh?
- I mean, no, sir.
So?
4000 dollars is my last price.
Are you interested?
Three bullets are
cheaper and more effective.
The food is ready, Colonel.
The gringo took away my hunger.
Well, for me it
was the opposite.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Nice day.
With this beginning,
it's not so nice.
What? Three stooges?
Yes. Looking for... and
what are you staring at?
- Me? Nothing.
- Go Away.
- Looking for...
- Looking for The Pirate.
Is there sea in this town?
You know that, you're from here.
You bring money?
You too?
We're smugglers.
All three?
Yes, sir.
- Fine. Come in and take what you want.
- Thank you.
Nice guy, this codger.
Listen to me...
that Pirate just got into town.
In a ship?
Don't mind him. He's his brother.
Hey!
The Pirate usually
sits at that table.
- Great.
- Great.
Look there! Look
there! Look there!
Go on.
- Nora sent us.
- I see.
- Do you have that thing?
- How many?
600, 850, 1400, 1430, 1500...
all you want.
Ok, we'll take just 300 for today.
Follow me.
- Hey, if you want we can help...
- Help your mother.
Come on.
With slyness, man.
The payments are in advance.
Did you bring the money?
Yes, yes. Show it to him, Ray.
Listen, Mr. Pirate.
We pay in cash.
Good. Because I'm
used to money first.
He looks like an
honest smuggler.
Ok.
We can't do business if
we don't trust each other.
You two bamboozle me.
Because, really, I don't
know who's more stupid.
Have this, good man.
And what about the weapons?
The weapons?
I don't have them here.
It's understandable.
A Winchester is not a dancer.
Of course.
Come with me, guys.
Listen, Mr. Pirate. You
keep the weapons here?
They're safer here.
Come in. Don't be afraid.
John!
We want the weapons right now!
Of course, guys. There you have
the samples. Start picking them.
They're the last model.
Nora will be happy.
- Ten jobs like this and we'll get rich.
- Rich on life sentences.
What's going on, Pirate?
Have you captured those three?
I'll give you a
thousand dollars each.
Don't pay him yet.
Hands up!
Higher!
Touch the ceiling.
Count until 25.
If you get out early, I
send you to the cemetery.
- Damn it.
- Stop!
Do you want to get me
even more in trouble, jerk?!
She's here.
I'd like to be like her.
Change environments, travel...
Smuggle, go to
prison... How nice.
- What's up?
- Your uncles didn't come here.
Of course not. They don't
go by such well known paths.
They'll enter through
the Wolf Pass. It's safer.
Mom is afraid that one
day you'll end up in jail.
That won't be easy as long
as I'm young and men like me.
You boyfriend... I mean,
Scott... left this morning.
Did he say where?
I think he crossed the border.
He said he had a 3000 dollar deal.
If he does this trick on me,
he'll remember me.
First of all, military strategy.
Captain Juárez,
we have to surround them.
- On foot?
- I'll wait for you here.
Platoon! Gallop!
Come on, horse!
- Spare some change.
- Brothers.
I'm a born Mexican, and very devout
follower of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
- That's very good, brother.
- God bless you, brother.
Bless you!
We are penniless
pilgrims, you see.
Have you seen them, Colonel?
How am I gonna see them if you
didn't bring them to me! Out!
At your service!
- Spare some change...
- For the poor...
- And miserable.
The thing is I left my home in a
hurry and I didn't bring any money.
Don't you want a medal?
No. It's perfect on your chest.
- You deserve it.
- For your bravery.
Go with God, brother.
May the Virgin of Guadalupe protect you
from the wrong paths and the green serpents.
It seems we got out from this.
Let's go.
But we won't get
out from this one.
- Hi, my friends.
- Hey, look who's here.
How did you recognize us?
Only a fool wouldn't notice.
Where are you going
with those Winchesters.
This was the bait to
steal from us all the money.
- And Nora's gonna kill us.
- That Pirate is a crook.
That's funny.
How could we get it back?
If you get it back, I want half.
Why?
Because I'm gonna tell you how.
It's not ok that you
always keep half.
Who puts the place?
You put the place,
but I put the face.
Ok, you've convinced me.
We can do 50-50.
That's better, Mr. Güemes.
See, Black Jack?
Give us the money, Pirate.
Or we'll leave you
one-eyed for real.
Someone betrayed me.
Give us the 1500 dollars.
Thief!
It was a joke.
And give us another 1500
because we'll split it with a friend.
But... I don't know if...
Whoever wants to
laugh at us is done.
I can also laugh.
- The money.
- We were about to count it.
No need.
But we had agreed on half,
that's why we asked for double.
Thank you. I needed it.
Put that hand down.
Like that. Still.
And now, take your belts off.
- Damn it!
- Son of a bitch!
Move back.
More.
A little bit more.
Face to the wall.
- Now he's gonna shoot us.
- I said face to the wall.
Look.
I'm familiar with
this moustache.
It's mine, you idiot!
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
I know it's a dirty job...
a dirty task...
but I need those 3000 dollars.
Also?
It's a hard life.
All this time running away
to end up in jail again.
But in an American
jail. Aren't you happy?
No. I prefer Colonel Jiménez's.
The Sheriff will
treat you better.
Let's go.
Colonel.
Drop that gun, my friend.
You're a good bounty hunter,
gringo. But this time I hunted you.
You won, Colonel.
They're yours.
Your gonna pay for
everything you did to me!
Stop! Tie them!
And that many is mine too.
What money?
That money you have. I need
it to buy weapons. Give it to me.
Come on. Come on!
What do we do with the gringo?
Let him go. Like a hare.
Gringo!
I hope you fall from your
horse and break four ribs.
- Come in, Colonel.
- Sheriff.
Something fishy's going on.
Since when does the Sheriff
keeps smuggled weapons?
- Don't worry, Colonel
- More respect!
You stay at the door.
- At your service, Colonel.
- I don't understand any of this.
- Aren't you ashamed?
- I'm doing a favour to a friend.
In my country you'd
pay this with your life.
Don't be dramatic or
I'll burst into laughter.
You gringos make me laugh.
Do you think you're
kings of this earth...
and of the moon.
Look, Colonel.
Beautiful.
Payment in advance, of course.
Take it!
Go get three mules, and
see that they're good mules.
- And the money?
- The money? You steal it!
That's why we're in America for.
And then you say "Viva
Zapata and his revolution".
Foot to ground.
Poor guys, they
can't walk any more.
Let them in.
We'll be more tranquil.
Come on, guys. If you behave
well, Juárez will give you water.
Tequila.
What are you doing?
I thought they may be hungry.
Likely the last solid
and succulent meal.
They can eat only if
they dance a corrido.
That's funny.
I said dance.
Come on.
Haven't you heard me?
Dance!
We can't eat until
we finish dancing.
You're a fool.
Take this.
Hey, you. Keep dancing.
And you. Bring me that.
Don't worry. You'll get yours
right away, Captain Juárez.
- Do you know who I am?
- I do.
You're a son of a bitch.
Stop hit. Take this.
Take this.
Take this!
One less.
And since you've been good,
you'll go home without a lump.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- This will be your shroud.
- To hell.
Get down.
- Stretch your leg.
- I'm not dead yet.
But you'll be soon.
Hide. He's coming for us.
Sorry.
Sorry for what, damn it!
And what do we do now?
Hurry!
Stop! Bud! Ray! Charles!
You don't let go of
your prey for nothing.
I don't understand this woman.
She frees us from the Mexicans...
and delivers us to
that bounty hunter.
And that's like trading the
life sentence for the gallows.
Juárez! Get up!
- What happened here?
- A couple of misplaced bones.
And Bud, Ray and
Charles on my hands again.
I would accept your offer now,
if I wouldn't have spent
the money on the weapons.
I would also buy that lady
tramp who fooled me.
The Pirate fooled you too.
I bet the boxes
are full of stones.
Stones?
I bet you, gringo, 2 to 1 that they're
the 300 Winchester, the latest model.
Are you sure, Colonel Jiménez.
Damn it.
Come on, get off. Open a box
and you'll see that I'm a smart guy.
It's very difficult to
fool Colonel Jiménez.
What?
You really need
those 3000 dollars?
Now I regret having
harmed them so much.
Don't suffer.
I'll give them to you.
I have another deal.
Black Jack, The Pirate.
Smuggling is punished.
I'll put him in jail and
collect a good reward.
I'm a smuggler too,
you'll send me to prison too?
No.
I'll take you home.
Bud! Ray! Charles!
You three ride home.
You're free.
I hope you won't
shoot us in the back.
Go easy.
You're an angel.
I'll go with the Colonel's horse.
Let the gringo see them.
See, Colonel? You've
been ripped off again.
Damn you!
Patrol! On your feet!
Juárez! Get up!
Don't talk back!
I said don't talk back!
Line up!
Step forward!
Step forward!
Another step!
To the right!
Cockeye!
March to the front!
We won't stop until we
find these three damn fatsos!
THE END
I've always dreamt of
living in the countryside.
You can also die in this one.
Always bearer of bad news.
I had predicted all the setbacks we've
had because of your damned ambition.
What the hell is he saying?
We are enjoying the money
we have honestly earned.
Smuggling weapons for Zapata.
And if you
hadn't taken the wrong path...
we wouldn't have
knocked on the prison door.
Come on, you slackers!
- Are you bragging with that rifle?
- Quiet!
- I'm quiet.
- Come on!
- I never know where he points it.
- Are you going to make fun of me?
- Abusive.
- Me?
You've been staring at my
cleavage for three hours now.
If you come at night
you'll see her legs.
But this time
you'll have to pay.
Your luggage.
Hey, you! Where are you going?
The cancan is
danced in the saloon.
And you'll dance here.
Mulligan! Get
that little pigeon!
Damn it.
Don't move!
Let her go.
I'm sick of you.
Why don't you take off from
this town and leave us alone?
Be careful!
If you go down that road, soon
they'll offer a good reward for you.
Get your gun.
It won't be you
who gets that reward.
You caught three guys in
town. One of them was my friend.
If you like this town so much,
maybe you'll stay with us forever...
but it'll be six feet under!
He's dead.
That's true.
He's not shooting any more.
Blackjack! Mulligan! I'm here!
What's happening here?
Who broke the lamp? Blackjack!
How are you doing, Mr. Welles.
Why don't you teach that
hired thug of yours how to shoot?
Come inside!
I don't like to see
you around here, kid.
I don't like to see your face either...
but I put up with it.
See you later, Mr. Welles.
Don't worry, Mr. Welles.
Take this for the lamp.
Well...
No gunslinger uses that perfume.
You are the most quiet and
violent man I've ever seen.
And you are not far
behind with your slapping.
Gallant.
They're starving us.
If we'll get out someday,
it will be as a corpse.
Shut up! You walk!
If they gave us a meal,
even if it was bad, but
that would fill our bellies...
Cheer up, man. Do you know
what are you eating today?
What?
Lamb feet with potatoes,
veal ribs with onion...
and eggs with bacon.
- How many?
- A lot! Dozens.
Come on! Go ahead!
Two ladles each
and that's it. Next!
Hey! Where are the
lamb feet with potatoes?
And the veal ribs?
This is filthy water.
And the eggs? I want
to eat something solid!
Take it!
- Wash your face!
- We're treated worse than slaves!
BARBER
Look!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Shoot!
What happened?
Those fat guys are
causing trouble, boss.
A step forward!
Didn't you hear me?
Come on!
Another step forward.
Are you making fun of me?
A step forward this way!
- Juárez!
- At your service.
Juárez! Put your hand down!
He's there.
- Say boss.
- Less words and remember my orders.
- It's that you give too many orders.
- Shut up!
Don't you know what you
have to do with those three?
- Now we're getting shot.
- Stop giving them ideas, you idiot.
John!
I'm coming!
Hi. Do you want a cup of coffee?
That's your only vice.
You need money again.
I was thinking that I could
never be happy. Too peaceful.
Are you comfortable, Scott?
Have a seat.
The Sheriff's job is one
of the worst paid
Fifty dollars a
month is not much.
And a whole town with the right to
give orders and express their opinions.
At least you are free.
Too free. I've been out
of action for a long time.
Take it. Today's mail has arrived.
Mulligan.
No wonder.
I told him a few
days ago in the town.
If you want to hunt him down,
you'll have to cross the border.
He's gone to Mexico.
Ok. Thanks for the coffee.
Why do you insist
on going to Mexico?
I have relatives there, my
uncles, and I need to see them.
What do you think, miss? The
coach and the horse for 100 dollars.
What do you think?
That you won't go alone.
Up your foot.
I'm going to Mexico. I can get
you safely to your relatives.
You intend to come
with me to San Agustín?
Don't tell me your
uncles are in the prison.
Cockeye.
Fix the stirrup, it's too short.
Quickly, boss.
You treat those fat
little angels well. Understood?
Understood, boss.
- What did you say?
- Me? Nothing. It was him.
I was saying I'm tired to death.
My bones don't
support me any longer.
If you weren't so fat.
Enough with the talking.
The punishment is to work...
for ten days without rest,
and only four have passed.
It's been a hundred years to me.
At least you're leaning on me.
Shut up!
If they don't behave, shoot them.
You won't need so much accuracy.
I wasn't finished.
- Are you sure you want to do that?
- Yes. Help the Mexican government.
And especially earn a
thousand dollars for every...
load of weapons my uncles
smuggle through the border.
You're an incredible idealist.
More than a bounty hunter?
I promised to help you,
and I will.
Look, they aren't working.
Let them be.
I feel sorry for them.
Look.
If I were well fed...
Maybe she's our salvation.
Or our grave.
You can't stop here miss,
keep going.
This is a military zone.
Stop staring.
And now work a little bit.
You're compromising me.
Yes. Yes, sir.
Don't worry.
It seems we're recovering.
This recovery will
get us in trouble.
Shut up, already!
I have to talk to this soldier.
He's unbearable. Won't you hold him?
I'd like to speak
with Mr. Jiménez.
Not Mr. Jiménez.
Colonel Jiménez.
This prison's chief
and Zapata's protegé.
But I don't think he'd see you.
- Please. If you'd help me...
- Well, miss...
I'll try to convince him.
- You're very kind.
- And you...
I'm leaving.
I already told Zapata we don't
need weapons in this prison!
- I'm writing to him right away.
- He'll have to send a battalion!
He's having a bad day.
Maybe for you.
And what the hell do you want?
To tell you that at the entrance there
is a lady who wants to speak with you.
- I can't receive any old hag!
- She's young and beautiful...
and gorgeous.
Macho man!
- You said gorgeous, my friend?
- Yes.
So what are you waiting
for, man?! Come on!
CHIEF
Of course, miss. Be my guest.
Come in.
Did you write the letter already?
In a minute, boss, but this
is very urgent and you have...
to give me money 'cos
look at all the things I need.
Hay for the horses,
shoes... I mean horseshoes...
Can you leave me alone, grandpa?
Or else I'll give you a kick...
that will throw you out of
that window. Understood?
Damn old man.
Get out!
Sorry. I meant come in.
My name is Nora Winters.
Nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
- Please, have a seat, miss.
- Thank you.
How can I help you?
My uncles are here.
Here?
They're the brothers
Ray, Charles and Bud.
Excuse me? They're
smugglers who entered our...
country with a load of
weapons for the government...
and since I'm a revolutionary
friend of Zapata...
I kept the weapons...
and them.
- Have a seat, Colonel.
- As you please.
I'm sure we can find a way for you to
convince yourself of their innocence.
They've been fooled.
They thought the
load was for you.
So the thing is different. And deep
down I have to thank you 'cos...
the weapons are right here and I didn't
spend one cent of the revolution money.
And meanwhile they're suffering.
Don't say that, miss. Your uncles
are treated better than anyone.
And here they're
better than in a hotel.
Colonel... you're
a remarkable man.
And you're very kind.
- And a man that...
- What?
Too dangerous.
Excuse me, Colonel.
Yes? All you want is to disturb?
- I have news.
- So tell me and get out!
No news. All prisoners are
back, except for the three...
fat men that are being
punished without bread nor water.
And judging from their looks, I
don't think they're going to live long.
My uncles? What is this!
Ignore him. He's crazy.
I'll be back in a minute.
You're the best to screw it up.
I just gave you the report.
On top of that I'll
have to you thank you!
Ok.
Now you have to cheer them up
so they look healthy and happy.
And then you treat them with
consideration and gentleness.
- Understood?
- Yes.
You like that girl.
Macho man!
Do you see him?
The mess is starting already.
They're coming to lynch us.
Lay down.
- Me?
- Yes.
- But I'm not sick, I'm just tired.
- Same thing. Lay down.
Next stop: the grave.
Please.
Yes.
- Be nice.
- Yes, yes.
- Take this.
- What's that?
- Milk.
- Milk?
Yes.
I bet this milk is poisoned.
Give me that, you idiot!
Do you want some?
Please. Would
you kindly come in?
How kind
I don't trust this a little bit.
Would you ask us
what do we want to eat?
Do you want any special dish?
They want to make us suffer.
Right, Charles?
This is Japanese torture.
Colonel. May I come in?
Come in.
The lady is impatient.
Speak!
Can I finally give them a hug?
The lady is asking you if
she can give them a hug!
What's the matter?
You have a kiss
mark in your cheek.
And what do you care? Speak!
- The lady's kisses...
- What are you saying?
Not kisses. Uncles.
The lady's uncles are already
awake. They slept for twelve hours.
- They're fresh and healthy like roses.
- Didn't I tell you?
Here they're better than in a
hotel. This is like a health clinic.
Do you know what
they asked for breakfast?
Let's go inside!
Well, well, well.
A waist so small...
with uncles so fat, that's
some difference right?
Let's toast for
that little waist...
and for so many good things.
Colonel. I'd like to see
them now that they're awake.
Come on.
If there's no other way...
Come in, please,
don't be afraid.
You'll see them soon.
They're now on the third
dish of their wonderful...
breakfast. 'Cos your
uncles don't eat, they devour.
Silence!
Silence!
The same fuss every day, 'cos
we treat your uncles so much better.
Water!
I said silence!
You're prisoners, right?
We treat you here with
love and consideration.
If you're here it's because
you have threatened...
our revolution in
one way or another.
I should shoot you, but I don't.
I'll get you out of here.
Do you hear them screaming?
No!
And I'll tell you why!
They're decent people!
And good prisoners!
So shut up!
Or I'll make the rifles
of the revolution talk!
- I love to hear you talk, Colonel.
- So did you like it, gorgeous?
I'm very good with good
people, and very bad with the bad.
Don't look at me like that, you
should kiss the floor he steps on.
That's gross.
This time the Colonel, uh?
Too bad your visit was so
short. Like a doctor's visit.
Why don't you come later to
La Gloria? We'll continue talking.
To the post house?
If this doesn't harm
the revolution...
Our cause is already
won, 'cos it's good.
I'll be there. Juárez!
At 7 o'clock in the morning,
after they take a bath...
- you let this lady's uncles go.
- And take them to work in the fields...
- Not at all.
- No, sir.
You set them free.
Thank you.
Lady, you were forgetting this.
What a woman.
I wouldn't trust
a hustler like that.
- What a woman.
- Maybe it's a trap.
- Goodbye!
- Bye, bye, little lady!
She's an American
from a good family!
She invited me to
have a drink at 6 o'clock.
- And if she's not there?
- If she's not there?
I'll get back in time
to sentence those three...
fat guys to five
years of life sentence.
Damn it.
- The ace of spades again.
- I told you.
You won't have luck in Mexico.
You sure were lucky.
You were left a widow.
Isn't that damn tequila coming?
It's not.
- Because you're rude and drunk.
- Rosi!
Let her be.
I play the last game
of solitaire and I'm out.
Go up, Lala.
Are you cheating yourself?
You again?
Yes.
What do you want now?
To play a game.
Look, that's my bet.
I'm sorry, Mulligan.
I need that 500 bucks.
I hate brave men like you.
I can't stand them!
I'm in Mexico, and no
American can get me here.
- Are you sure?
- You have a filthy job.
But it's always better than
shooting someone in the back...
to get a couple of dirty bucks.
Come with me.
You better not touch that.
You'll hurt yourself.
Wanna keep fighting? Or we go
right now to the sheriff's office?
Damn pig!
My friend... look what you
get with your games. Let's go!
Mulligan! Don't be so stupid!
You're lucky, Mulligan!
I want you alive!
Scott.
And now be a good boy.
I'm sorry. I didn't
find another coach.
It's ok for what I need.
Thank you, sir.
- Tie the horses.
- Right away.
Too bad those fat
guys will break it.
It's ready, sir.
Shut up.
Let's not start.
Who's there?
Colonel Jiménez,
at your service.
Wait a minute.
I'm getting dressed.
Don't worry.
I'm sure you're very elegant
no matter what clothes you put on.
What a woman.
- I'm ready. Come in.
- Excuse me.
What? Are you
playing hide and seek?
It's that I'm very naughty,
Colonel. You'll see.
Get the flowers out of
the way, you smell better.
Don't be so impulsive, Colonel.
Besides... the door is open.
Don't worry. I'll close it.
Nora. Since the first day I saw
you I have something inside of me.
Maybe they're bad
thoughts, Colonel?
For the Virgin of Guadalupe,
quite the opposite!
I have some little birds inside
of me doing peep peep peep.
Fly, little birds!
Little birds, little birds.
Peep, peep, little birds.
Cheers, Colonel.
Here's to how much
fun you'll be having.
Excuse me.
What do you want?
We already let
the lady's uncles go.
Can I have one?
It's time.
Well...
Let's go.
Hey, fatties. Out.
- Nice niece you have.
- Yeah, right?
Come on, wake up.
What time is it?
Come on. Up!
What... what's happening?
It's time.
- Let them free.
- Free? Why?
It's not your business.
Good luck. Good luck.
If it was for me, you would've stayed
here 'till you were thin as a cane.
Stop!
Wait!
I told you to stop! Wait!
Where are you going?!
Stop! Stop! You
can't go in there!
We come to talk
with the prison's chief.
We want the weapons that you have kept.
If it's not by fair means,
it will be by force.
So if you get violent,
better by fair means, right?
It must be here.
Who?
- Your father.
- Dad?
What do you think?
Great.
But it's a coach with
two horses, right?
Yes!
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Come on!
Do you enjoy being free and
having a coach to run away, right?
The coffins go to the
cemetery in a coach, too.
Come on.
Rest.
Very well, Nora!
Get in!
Stop! Crooks!
Hurry!
I'll execute the four of you!
Crooks!
Scoundrels!
Wow. You're here.
Scott brought you, at last.
Get in there. Come on.
- Can I have a coffee, Sheriff?
- Have you seen on the table?
You're lucky, lately.
What are you gonna
do with so much money?
Time goes by.
I'd like to own a farm.
And breed horses.
That's my dream.
3000. That's
interesting, indeed.
They escaped to Mexico.
Nice faces.
I'm gonna hunt them
Very crispy with
some french fries...
Not the gallows! I'm innocent!
You have a bad time
even in your sleep.
Let's go, idiots. Hurry.
Why?
What do we have to do now?
Nothing, it's time to eat,
let's go find some chickens.
Stay here, Bud.
We have to stay until 10.
What a mystery.
I don't like any of this.
You have to explain to her what we
agreed upon so everyone goes their way.
Nora...
they want to quit
smuggling weapons.
- Because you're chickens.
- That's not true.
If they were chickens,
I'd already have eat them.
- Hey!
- Hey!
A horse.
- He betrayed us.
- Shut up.
Let's hide.
I hope it's not a trap.
Don't you trust me?
Hands up!
And drop the gun.
Higher, 'till the hat.
How will I drop the gun if I
have my hands in my hat?
He's right.
Scott is a friend of mine.
That scrawny man?
He's a friend who has
kept his promise...
by coming here to see if
our plan had gone well.
I bought this coach for you.
You could have bought a better one,
with a suspension system and a cushion.
We can go now.
Hey, scrawny. Aren't you coming?
Thank you.
I have an appointment.
Do you think he'll rub shoulders with
you given his clothing like an apple pie?
Don't say that or I'll eat him.
Those damn gringos...
and their lovely niece...
will remember my name!
I'm gonna put them
in jail until they rot!
Are you gonna jail them
again? They eat so much.
What do I care!
I'm gonna run after them
for the good of the revolution.
Although Zapata left
me with no weapons...
I have to fulfill my duty.
But... Out!
But...
when I find them, the first
thing I'll do is execute them!
And then... I'll hang them!
I'll sentence them
to life imprisonment.
Juárez! I need volunteers!
We'll run after them
tirelessly, mercilessly!
Juárez! Come out of hiding!
- Aren't you ashamed?
- I was recruiting volunteers.
- In the stable?
- They're donkeys.
And the rest are chicken!
- And what are you doing?
- I make love, not war.
How is our revolution
going to succeed...
if when I have to sacrifice
myself I'm left alone?
- Think that we only have guns.
- There are plenty of bullets.
If you want, my assistant could go
with you, so there will be more of us.
- It's ok.
- Pedrito!
Why does this guy have a rifle?
It's mine. I hid it when
Zapata's men came.
He's very loyal.
Besides, when there's
a shooting, he stands in the front.
- Stop this purgatory!
- Can't we go slower?
Stop for a moment.
Why?
My brother. Same thing
always happens to him.
Tell me, Nora. How
much will you pay this time...
to cheer my brothers up?
I'm so in the mood for business.
A thousand dollars
for every load.
A thousand shots in the
head we're gonna get.
The pessimist again.
He sees everything black,
like his clothes.
Ignore that woman.
It's too much money.
I have a better idea this time.
You'll go back to La Gloria, and
take the stagecoach to Watson.
To La Gloria?
To Hell!
But the Colonel
will shoot us dead.
No. Do you think he'll still
be shouting in his balcony?
Something worse. He'll
be hunting us with an army.
Enough.
Do you want the money or not?
We do.
When you get to
Watson ask for The Pirate.
I know he received an
important load of weapons.
Here's the money.
Pirate. Pirate.
I'd do anything for this.
We'll go where you say.
Yes, and we'll find
the gallows at the end.
I have what you're looking for.
A certain sheriff is looking
for the brothers Bud, Ray...
and Charles so he can give
me a reward: 3000 dollars.
If you give me 4000
I'll hand them to you.
I don't trust gringos
with a cowboy face.
Think about it. No hurry.
I wish I won't see you
again in my country.
- You'd do anything for a pretty lady.
- I know who you're talking about.
But that lady will
also be punished.
Let's go!
Come on.
Don't you realize that the
horses can't handle you?
- We're so heavy?
- Yes, fatso. Come on.
Push.
Wow, man. Another bossy one.
They're waiting for me
in Monterrey. I'll get the...
money for the next trips,
but if you don't push...
Come on, idiots.
Jiménez.
On top of that we have to put
up with the jokes of that parrot.
- Come on, push.
- Jiménez.
Come on.
Goodbye!
Goodbye, boys. See you later.
This woman left us stranded.
Haven't you figured out
yet that she likes me?
Women are your downfall, Ray.
That face looks familiar.
Why do you say such nonsense?
Who? Me?
Jiménez!
He's dumber than the parrot.
Do you think we're
gonna be scared?
Bud, Ray, Charles,
my dear friends...
what a pleasant encounter.
Let's go get them!
Aim!
Shoot. Stay still.
What's he doing?
Stay still. It's just that his
eyes are a little crossed.
Nobody told me that before.
- Make room for me.
- Keep down.
Let's cover!
Take that out.
Cockeye frightens
me more than bullets!
Let's go to the rocks.
Why don't you shoot?
You were aiming at us again?
- No, Colonel.
- Point that way!
They'll fall on us like ravens.
When they come down
they'll already be dead.
- Aim well.
- I'm not cross-eyed.
Aim for the fat guy.
- Which one?
- Anyone!
Follow me.
Hold the fire!
Hey, Fulgencio! The horses!
- Charles...
- Go, I cover you.
Yes, you'll cover me with soil.
I put the bullet
where I put my eye.
Come here.
Let's go.
They're coming back.
You! Mount the horses!
Follow me.
Charles, brother.
What? What?
I want to go back to prison.
Come on, hurry. Hurry.
Let's go! Gallop!
Keep going.
Keep going.
They're not here. Let's go.
Resignation, cousin.
- Take this.
- Wait!
Wait!
Don't you see they're not ripe?
- But I'm hungry.
- You're so stupid.
And why do we come here?
For two travellers?
- Is this the Watson stagecoach?
- Yes, sir.
- What time does it leave?
- When it's time.
- See you next time.
- Goodbye, Jack.
Don't we get in?
Are you gonna take the lady?
Let's go, man. Hurry up.
Easy. Easy. We'll be on time.
The thing is, a friend
of us may arrive...
What a fat problem you are.
Hurry up, ass.
Hurry up, man.
Be careful. Don't you
see there's no room?
- Get in already.
- You're stepping on me.
Careful, man.
You're so fat.
Excuse me...
do you need to travel today?
Yes, I'm going to the
funeral of my uncle.
And I'm with him.
So wait for the next
week's stagecoach.
Get down!
And you'll be in
time for the funeral.
If my cousin doesn't go to the
funeral, I could also get down.
Get down!
Hey, you have to pay first.
Do you think we're
common ex-cons?
Take.
Go ahead!
And my money? Give us the money back!
Use it for the next trip.
The suitcase?
- They took my suitcase!
- Mine too!
Run! Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
Didn't you want to
hunt those three?
I can't carry so much weight.
They're headed for Watson, right?
I'll catch them there.
Hi, Rosi. Pour me a whiskey.
Are you gonna drink
that poison, as you call it?
Today is a big day. I have to
celebrate, even with that oil.
Have you seen three fatsos?
You bet. They filled
the stagecoach.
Damn them. Juárez!
This rides make me hungry.
Ma'am, please, wouldn't you
have some beans or corn bread?
Anything you say, Colonel.
Then... get down!
- Come in.
- If I wasn't angry, I'd tell you...
you come in, ma'am.
But since I am, screw you!
Juárez!
- I'm here.
- Potatoes for the patrol...
and just water!
Good morning, Colonel.
Plates and place settings.
You'll be served
right away, sir.
- Have you seen how the people treat me?
- Good morning, Colonel.
Excuse me?
Have you already found
what you were looking for?
How did this gringo
get here before us?
- He's very fast.
- And do I mount a turtle?
What are you doing here? Speak!
I have to watch my 3000 dollars.
He's talking about the fatsos.
- I know, do you think I'm an idiot?
- Yes, sir.
- Huh?
- I mean, no, sir.
So?
4000 dollars is my last price.
Are you interested?
Three bullets are
cheaper and more effective.
The food is ready, Colonel.
The gringo took away my hunger.
Well, for me it
was the opposite.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Nice day.
With this beginning,
it's not so nice.
What? Three stooges?
Yes. Looking for... and
what are you staring at?
- Me? Nothing.
- Go Away.
- Looking for...
- Looking for The Pirate.
Is there sea in this town?
You know that, you're from here.
You bring money?
You too?
We're smugglers.
All three?
Yes, sir.
- Fine. Come in and take what you want.
- Thank you.
Nice guy, this codger.
Listen to me...
that Pirate just got into town.
In a ship?
Don't mind him. He's his brother.
Hey!
The Pirate usually
sits at that table.
- Great.
- Great.
Look there! Look
there! Look there!
Go on.
- Nora sent us.
- I see.
- Do you have that thing?
- How many?
600, 850, 1400, 1430, 1500...
all you want.
Ok, we'll take just 300 for today.
Follow me.
- Hey, if you want we can help...
- Help your mother.
Come on.
With slyness, man.
The payments are in advance.
Did you bring the money?
Yes, yes. Show it to him, Ray.
Listen, Mr. Pirate.
We pay in cash.
Good. Because I'm
used to money first.
He looks like an
honest smuggler.
Ok.
We can't do business if
we don't trust each other.
You two bamboozle me.
Because, really, I don't
know who's more stupid.
Have this, good man.
And what about the weapons?
The weapons?
I don't have them here.
It's understandable.
A Winchester is not a dancer.
Of course.
Come with me, guys.
Listen, Mr. Pirate. You
keep the weapons here?
They're safer here.
Come in. Don't be afraid.
John!
We want the weapons right now!
Of course, guys. There you have
the samples. Start picking them.
They're the last model.
Nora will be happy.
- Ten jobs like this and we'll get rich.
- Rich on life sentences.
What's going on, Pirate?
Have you captured those three?
I'll give you a
thousand dollars each.
Don't pay him yet.
Hands up!
Higher!
Touch the ceiling.
Count until 25.
If you get out early, I
send you to the cemetery.
- Damn it.
- Stop!
Do you want to get me
even more in trouble, jerk?!
She's here.
I'd like to be like her.
Change environments, travel...
Smuggle, go to
prison... How nice.
- What's up?
- Your uncles didn't come here.
Of course not. They don't
go by such well known paths.
They'll enter through
the Wolf Pass. It's safer.
Mom is afraid that one
day you'll end up in jail.
That won't be easy as long
as I'm young and men like me.
You boyfriend... I mean,
Scott... left this morning.
Did he say where?
I think he crossed the border.
He said he had a 3000 dollar deal.
If he does this trick on me,
he'll remember me.
First of all, military strategy.
Captain Juárez,
we have to surround them.
- On foot?
- I'll wait for you here.
Platoon! Gallop!
Come on, horse!
- Spare some change.
- Brothers.
I'm a born Mexican, and very devout
follower of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
- That's very good, brother.
- God bless you, brother.
Bless you!
We are penniless
pilgrims, you see.
Have you seen them, Colonel?
How am I gonna see them if you
didn't bring them to me! Out!
At your service!
- Spare some change...
- For the poor...
- And miserable.
The thing is I left my home in a
hurry and I didn't bring any money.
Don't you want a medal?
No. It's perfect on your chest.
- You deserve it.
- For your bravery.
Go with God, brother.
May the Virgin of Guadalupe protect you
from the wrong paths and the green serpents.
It seems we got out from this.
Let's go.
But we won't get
out from this one.
- Hi, my friends.
- Hey, look who's here.
How did you recognize us?
Only a fool wouldn't notice.
Where are you going
with those Winchesters.
This was the bait to
steal from us all the money.
- And Nora's gonna kill us.
- That Pirate is a crook.
That's funny.
How could we get it back?
If you get it back, I want half.
Why?
Because I'm gonna tell you how.
It's not ok that you
always keep half.
Who puts the place?
You put the place,
but I put the face.
Ok, you've convinced me.
We can do 50-50.
That's better, Mr. Güemes.
See, Black Jack?
Give us the money, Pirate.
Or we'll leave you
one-eyed for real.
Someone betrayed me.
Give us the 1500 dollars.
Thief!
It was a joke.
And give us another 1500
because we'll split it with a friend.
But... I don't know if...
Whoever wants to
laugh at us is done.
I can also laugh.
- The money.
- We were about to count it.
No need.
But we had agreed on half,
that's why we asked for double.
Thank you. I needed it.
Put that hand down.
Like that. Still.
And now, take your belts off.
- Damn it!
- Son of a bitch!
Move back.
More.
A little bit more.
Face to the wall.
- Now he's gonna shoot us.
- I said face to the wall.
Look.
I'm familiar with
this moustache.
It's mine, you idiot!
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
I know it's a dirty job...
a dirty task...
but I need those 3000 dollars.
Also?
It's a hard life.
All this time running away
to end up in jail again.
But in an American
jail. Aren't you happy?
No. I prefer Colonel Jiménez's.
The Sheriff will
treat you better.
Let's go.
Colonel.
Drop that gun, my friend.
You're a good bounty hunter,
gringo. But this time I hunted you.
You won, Colonel.
They're yours.
Your gonna pay for
everything you did to me!
Stop! Tie them!
And that many is mine too.
What money?
That money you have. I need
it to buy weapons. Give it to me.
Come on. Come on!
What do we do with the gringo?
Let him go. Like a hare.
Gringo!
I hope you fall from your
horse and break four ribs.
- Come in, Colonel.
- Sheriff.
Something fishy's going on.
Since when does the Sheriff
keeps smuggled weapons?
- Don't worry, Colonel
- More respect!
You stay at the door.
- At your service, Colonel.
- I don't understand any of this.
- Aren't you ashamed?
- I'm doing a favour to a friend.
In my country you'd
pay this with your life.
Don't be dramatic or
I'll burst into laughter.
You gringos make me laugh.
Do you think you're
kings of this earth...
and of the moon.
Look, Colonel.
Beautiful.
Payment in advance, of course.
Take it!
Go get three mules, and
see that they're good mules.
- And the money?
- The money? You steal it!
That's why we're in America for.
And then you say "Viva
Zapata and his revolution".
Foot to ground.
Poor guys, they
can't walk any more.
Let them in.
We'll be more tranquil.
Come on, guys. If you behave
well, Juárez will give you water.
Tequila.
What are you doing?
I thought they may be hungry.
Likely the last solid
and succulent meal.
They can eat only if
they dance a corrido.
That's funny.
I said dance.
Come on.
Haven't you heard me?
Dance!
We can't eat until
we finish dancing.
You're a fool.
Take this.
Hey, you. Keep dancing.
And you. Bring me that.
Don't worry. You'll get yours
right away, Captain Juárez.
- Do you know who I am?
- I do.
You're a son of a bitch.
Stop hit. Take this.
Take this.
Take this!
One less.
And since you've been good,
you'll go home without a lump.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- This will be your shroud.
- To hell.
Get down.
- Stretch your leg.
- I'm not dead yet.
But you'll be soon.
Hide. He's coming for us.
Sorry.
Sorry for what, damn it!
And what do we do now?
Hurry!
Stop! Bud! Ray! Charles!
You don't let go of
your prey for nothing.
I don't understand this woman.
She frees us from the Mexicans...
and delivers us to
that bounty hunter.
And that's like trading the
life sentence for the gallows.
Juárez! Get up!
- What happened here?
- A couple of misplaced bones.
And Bud, Ray and
Charles on my hands again.
I would accept your offer now,
if I wouldn't have spent
the money on the weapons.
I would also buy that lady
tramp who fooled me.
The Pirate fooled you too.
I bet the boxes
are full of stones.
Stones?
I bet you, gringo, 2 to 1 that they're
the 300 Winchester, the latest model.
Are you sure, Colonel Jiménez.
Damn it.
Come on, get off. Open a box
and you'll see that I'm a smart guy.
It's very difficult to
fool Colonel Jiménez.
What?
You really need
those 3000 dollars?
Now I regret having
harmed them so much.
Don't suffer.
I'll give them to you.
I have another deal.
Black Jack, The Pirate.
Smuggling is punished.
I'll put him in jail and
collect a good reward.
I'm a smuggler too,
you'll send me to prison too?
No.
I'll take you home.
Bud! Ray! Charles!
You three ride home.
You're free.
I hope you won't
shoot us in the back.
Go easy.
You're an angel.
I'll go with the Colonel's horse.
Let the gringo see them.
See, Colonel? You've
been ripped off again.
Damn you!
Patrol! On your feet!
Juárez! Get up!
Don't talk back!
I said don't talk back!
Line up!
Step forward!
Step forward!
Another step!
To the right!
Cockeye!
March to the front!
We won't stop until we
find these three damn fatsos!
THE END