Exhibit A (2007) Movie Script

- Yes?

- Yep.

- Okay well, through here we have Camelot.

And as you can see it may

not be Buckingham Palace,

but you'll certainly find

lots of kings inside.

If you like to come through here,

you can see our fantastic entrance hall,

and in here, yes indeed,

is the queen of Camelot.

It is our very own sandwich cutter royal.

- Where'd she get that from darling?

Dad bought it for me.

- Just replaced the other one.

We didn't talk about it?

- No, you wanted a camera!

A camera!

- It is a camera!

- Honestly, what'd you...

- Oh!

- Hey, what are you doing, credit card?

- Just in case.

- No!

- Yes, til we make sure.

- We are sure!

- I'm sorry love, I am.

I don't think she's up.

She ran away screaming.

- Where did whizzle get this from?

That's none of your business!

- That's a video camera

to replace the other one.

So me and your mum are

talking about this--

Oh, move your

ugly mush out of my screen!

You'll crack it!

- I fancy jumping on my computer

so I can get an upgrade.

I'll just remind you,

if you hadn't been acting a goat,

I would never have stood on

the camera in the first place.

- Yeah, my fault as usual.

Get out of the way!

You'll get a new thing broken!

Mom!

- Judy, don't be selfish.

Let him have a turn.

- Okay, stop!

Oh, look at the pair on that!

Oi!

Dad!

Hey, what

are you doing?

This is my room.

These are my photos.

I do most of them at the park.

That's one of my favorites.

That's my throne, as Dad likes to call it.

Shell.

Ah, Mr. Miller.

Scrubbing his animals.

The birds shit on them.

That's Darren.

Don't know why I've still got him.

And that's...

Claire.

Camera meet Claire.

Come on, angel.

Hey, how is your leg?

Yep, and what am

I supposed to be the filming?

- Just point it out of that window there.

That one there to film?

- That!

- That?

Two blokes,

that one looks a bit lost.

- So, how do you two feel about living

in a house like this then?

If your dad gets his promotion.

Really?

Yeah, wicked!

Angel?

But, what's

wrong with where we live now?

What's wrong with it?

- What about that for a view, eh?

We'll get

these swimming lessons

finally sorted for you, aren't we, eh?

No point having the North

Sea in your backyard

if you're afraid of water, is there?

Oh, mermaid, eh?

In her element!

Dad, do we have to move?

It's already happening, Angel.

- Yeah, but...

- But?

Come on, your troubles

are my troubles, remember?

Double O dad, troubleshooter!

It's just, nothing.

Honestly angel,

you're gonna love it.

Don't drown any of you.

- Give it here.

- Uh, no.

- Uh, yeah!

- Uh, no!

You get off me!

Fuck off!

Watch out for the sharks!

- Oh, toss it to me!

Not gonna be another

Croation timeshare, is it?

Oh, you mean like

the one with no roof so we could

See the stars!

Oh, I don't know darling.

It'd be brilliant, wouldn't it?

If he got his promotion?

But you know your dad and

his dreams.

What are you two laughing at?

We're looking at you.

Look, where's this picnic then?

Cold, cold, cold, it's cold!

Just want to get

one more shot of the house.

Anyway you can't talk about wasting tape!

- It wasn't me, alright be like that!

- Me? She won't let me touch it!

Alright, alright.

Anyway, I've rewound it back

to the beginning of the picnic

I went to

see a new house yesterday.

I think we're moving.

Can't believe it.

As soon as you move in there--

Oh, hi Ray.

- What you filming?

I thought I saw a squirrel.

Really?

Anyway, make sure you get my best side.

That's Ray, dad's mate from work.

You better start going guys.

For work.

- Sorry love, just completely

lost track of the time.

- Okay, alright you need to be over here.

Okay, you stand next to the table--

Look, Joe you can film it.

Oh, why?

Cuz I don't feel like it.

She's gonna waste the tape.

- Hah, hah!

- Smile, moody.

- Come one, leave her alone!

Go behind the door.

Bobby, stand next to the door.

He's coming.

Hello?

Surprise!

Wow! Look at that!

Well?

Well, you know...

Oh, you're talking about the promotion?

Oh, well, uh, I got that.

Really?

- Promised, didn't I?

- Ah, you!

- Piss off!

- Fantastic! That's so good!

So, we're really moving then?

Toot right, we are!

We're gonna put that offer in

- Cool!

First thing in the morning!

Oh, wow!

Oh, try not to look too

happy about it Judith.

- I am happy alright, I'm happy!

Well congrats!

- Oh, catch it, catch it, catch it!

Oh, steady on, Joe!

Some for you!

This is just so brilliant!

I think we should have a toast.

And no more bad puns.

To pies on the beach!

And to the new area

Manager!

- To infinity

Beyond!

- What am I looking for?

It's not on video, is it?

I don't know, might be.

She's had that camera.

She could been videoing

all me best comedy moments.

You're not warm enough here.

You're warm, but you're not hot.

You need to get hotter

- Warm, but not hot.

Ah!

- Ah!

The little interloper--

What've we here?

We're moving in.

- Who has been

sneaking things into my comedy collection?

Oh, well.

A pair of second hand glasses

for your blind old dad.

We didn't

have that much money.

They're not

just any old glasses.

- I know whose they are.

Where'd you find them?

On the internet.

- Yeah, well?

- Eric Morecambe.

Comedy great.

Hello, hello!

What do you think of the show so far?

Rubbish!

That was good, dad.

- It's all mine.

It's all perfect.

Sorry.

On with it!

A little list on the pin board, alright?

Things we have to do today.

Do something about the hole in the garden.

And you are going to

ring the mortgage people.

And I am going to ring the schools,

when I get back from work.

And then we should be--

Yes, dad's doing his trick

for the millionth time.

- Mortgage?

You're listening

to me, aren't you?

- Yes, my sweetheart, every word.

No, I was, you said to

do the pond and the list.

You see, you don't

pay any attention, do you?

- What?

- Pond!

It's been like that for a year, Andy!

It's not been a year at all.

It's been nine months if that.

We had a lot of rain!

- The pond.

Can't disturb the

topsoil when it's raining.

Everybody knows that.

I remember the

Great Yorkshire monsoon

kept everybody inside for months.

Nevermind,

it'll be gone tomorrow.

Alakazam!

- Good, now stop fucking about.

- Hey!

- Please!

And let's get inside and get on.

- Tommy Cooper doesn't

have these problems.

And you put your eyes back in.

The birds'll have 'em!

Stop ogling the bouncing lady!

I'm not!

Honestly love, girls prefer

if you're not quite so obvious.

Don't we, Judith?

- It's gross.

- Nice spot, Judith!

Hah, hah.

Hello?

Hey, are you alright?

- You alright?

- You know,

if you wanted to come

around you can just ask me.

I'm just getting my ball.

- You're getting good.

- Thanks.

- Wait, I'll get you that CD

you want of DJ Jose Beef mix.

It's fine.

- I've got loads, you can

have them any time you want,

you know what I mean?

I'll get it later.

- Well look, you can call, text message--

What are you doing?

- Just a joke.

You're sense of humor is a cracker.

She's agoraphobic, we're

saving up for a rabbit hutch.

- I really gotta go.

- Alright then, see ya!

- See ya!

- Try better next time, Judith.

Someone might laugh.

- Fuck off!

- Geek.

- Hi.

Hey.

Oh, hi!

Hey, uh...

Oh, hi!

Let's see how stupid this looks.

Oh,

don't just dive in!

I spy

with my little eye,

Joe smoking in the garden.

Dad would kill him if he knew.

Hey, maybe I can blackmail him.

That will teach him to

embarrass me in front of you.

Welcome to night vision, Joe.

Dad?

Go, go, go!

Right, you filming?

Are you filming?

- Yeah, yeah I am!

Right, okay.

Look, you know

she's never gonna go for this.

No, she will, believe me.

Right, okay, so.

Here we are at the King's,

and we've got a bit of a surprise.

It's Sheila King!

Because what we know, that you

know, that she doesn't know

is that we've got one hell of a surprise

for her this afternoon!

So, follow me!

Excuse me, what's going on?

Special delivery, Mrs. King.

- What sort of delivery?

- Special delivery.

Quite convincing.

- No, I'm sorry, but I

think you must have come

to the wrong house.

- No, we've--

- Mrs. Sheila King!

Yes, your husband has arranged a surprise

for you this afternoon!

Thank you very much, Stu!

- It's you, isn't it?

The man off the tele!

- Well,

- Gosh, am I on the tele now?

- There we go, look and smile!

Now husband's

going to be so upset!

- Well, I've got a surprise for you,

because in fact, I am your husband!

What a shock!

- Right, come this way.

Nope, straight through.

- What's that noise in our garden?

- You'll find out soon enough, come on.

Through we go!

Excuse me gentlemen, coming through,

coming through, this way!

Quickly Judith, cuz I want

you to get your mother's face!

Okay, yeah!

What is going on?

Right into the back!

- Yes!

Dad!

Here we go!

- What are you doing?

He's supposed

to be filling it in!

What are you doing?

- Sweetheart, I--

- Get out of there!

Get out of there now, you stupid idiot!

Get off!

- Sweetheart,

I had a complete brain wave!

- Judith, come over here.

- I don't know,

Alright, alright.

What you think

you're doing, take it out!

Complete

brain wave this morning!

I went to get the topsoil

to fill in the pond,

and while I was there,

I had a genius idea!

Instead of filling it

in, let's make it bigger!

It'll add 20 grand on

the value of the house,

because we will have a pool!

- Have you completely lost it?

We are selling the house!

- Exactly and this way we

can whack the price up!

Dad, I told

you this would happen.

It'll only take us a fortnight!

- I've got buyers coming.

What we gonna do?

What we gonna say when they see all this?

No, it's fine, it's fine!

Dad!

They'll be able to use their imagination.

- Would you get out of there now?

- And then we can show them

the brochure, can't we?

Dad, I told

you this would happen.

- I can't believe you're doing all this

and you didn't even ask me!

Your daughter's terrified of water!

- She's fine with it, aren't you angel?

I'm not bothered.

- Look, hey, that's not the point.

The point is that we'll get to move--

Will you

stop bringing stuff in?

- Get your mum's face.

We'll get to move quicker.

That's the whole point, you know?

Alright then, okay, we can send it back--

- Yes!

- If that's what you want.

- Yes, do that that!

Just get it all taken back!

- Well, I just wish you'd be practical.

Me?

DJ Joe on the microphone!

And here we go!

All the way around! All the way around!

Dad, we missed it!

Oh, we missed what?

You missed it!

- Ooh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

- Oh, hiya Ray!

Look who it is!

- Come here, sweetheart!

- I'm sorry to intrude, but well,

I heard you from the outside.

I've been trying to call you.

Yeah, my

mobile's been on the blink

and then the portable

decided to commit suicide.

Hey, Ray.

But let's go in

and we'll have a bit of a chat, shall we?

Look at you, are these new?

Well yeah, they are.

And we liking

the commissions, aren't we?

Yay, he's Mr. Successful now!

- Come on have a drink,

you'll have a gin and tea, won't ya?

Yeah, we can

have one in the kitchen.

- You will? I'll get you a glass.

- So, what's going on here?

You starting a mine or something?

Just a bit of DIY,

you know, home improvement?

They added a swimming

pool, can you believe that?

So, swimming pool,

dream come true for you?

Well, actually

it's just genius over here

hacking up the house price.

Can

I get you a drink, Claire?

Because we are going

to have a barbecue to celebrate.

Want

something to drink, Claire?

- Anyway it'll be the last

chance we get to barbecue

before we move.

- Jesus yeah, completely forgot

to tell you about the fact

that we're moving, yeah, yeah.

Uh, it happened very suddenly,

but we're off to the coast, hopefully.

- Mmh, yeah.

- I think.

- A little beach house.

- Oh, candid camera behind you!

You see, give it a wave!

Definitely not--

Have you won the

lottery or something?

- How so? Cheers!

- No, I mean--

- And down in one!

One, two, three, let's see

if we can do it, shall we?

- Cheers

- That's great you'll

be ready for another.

In you come and...

What was that about?

I have no idea.

- Try now, turn the ignition.

Looks like dad's broken

another piece of equipment.

He's trying to pretend he can fix it.

This may take some time.

Alright, it's enough, it's enough.

That's your mum.

Hanging out your wash.

Your basket bouquet.

- Not enough.

- Alright.

- Fucking bloody stupid

- Knackered.

Oh stupid

bloody thing!

Claire.

You're gonna be wet!

Me?

Hi, Claire!

Claire?

- Of course, I left a message.

- You left a message?

- Confirming the offer!

- With our secretary?

- Yeah, no, no, on your answer phone.

- Left a message on their answer phone?

- Yes, that's what answer phones are for.

Oh, for God's sake!

- Well, I didn't know nobody

was going to check it, did I?

- I assure you Mr. King I

haven't had any message.

- Look, it's fine it's

not the end of the world.

We'll just start again.

Alright, we'd like to confirm our offer.

Dad's fucked up again.

Shut up.

We've had another

offer from another family.

- Are you filming?

- No.

How much higher?

7,000 pounds.

Right, and you

expect us to top that, do you?

Well, that is up to you, Mr.--

No! I'm sorry, it's not!

This is a mistake that

was made in your office!

- Mr. King--

- No, I'm sorry, it's out of order,

and I want to talk to your boss.

- I am the co-owner of

the business, Mr. King.

Now I'd be happy to show you--

- Okay, enough, enough!

Listen up...

What is it, dad?

Listening.

- Right well, we'll...

You got us over a barrel,

we'll better their offer.

We will put in 10 grand.

Three grand above theirs, will that do it?

- Yeah, that--

- Brilliant!

Okay, problem solved!

- Zombie ninja fight, round five, fight!

Choose weapon!

- What the hell are you

doing with my camera?

- Give it back!

Give it back!

Aim for the head!

Scanning for a new weapon.

Trusty trowel, ha ha!

The garden spoon of doom!

Why don't you

fuck yourself with that?

Hello, Mr. Miller.

We meet again.

Get Mr. Miller off my island.

Arguing in the ranks,

this is not a good sign.

We'll have to finish mission alone.

Enemy attacking!

Bullet on this!

Hey!

- Loser!

That would have been

great if you'd been framed.

Yeah, that was really funny.

And go!

So, here we are in the

garden of the super Kings,

and what's happening today, angel?

We're digging a pool.

I'm doing the shoveling and

Joe's wheeling the barrow.

You must be joking!

One more!

Happy where you were before.

Okay and off you go!

It's a happy day in the

super Kings' garden.

And tell me, angel,

what's happening today?

- We're digging a pool.

I'm shoveling and Joe's wheeling.

No!

Look the tele people will

never give us 250 quid

unless you make it more real!

You go when I say barrow.

Don't look back.

Okay, okay, this time--

I think the

last one was alright.

Alright,

let's ask our audience.

Was it alright?

- I think we should do it

again, cuz it was rubbish.

I think we

should do it again, too.

Jings, concentrate please!

Here we are in the garden

of the super Kings.

And what's happening today, love?

- I'm digging a pool.

I'm shoveling and Joe's wheeling.

Right, and

Come on!

Look surprised, do that

thing you did with your arms.

Look, I'll show ya!

Here.

Told you it hurt.

It didn't hurt.

It hurt.

It didn't hurt,

I was just pretending, you birnit.

- You filming that?

- No.

Okay, lots

of fun and here we are!

In the super Kings' garden,

and what is happening today?

- We're digging a pool.

I'm shoveling, Joe's wheeling.

Okay, and no!

Come on, that's not what you did before!

Now get out!

Now you're starting to take the piss!

One last time!

You ready?

I'm talking to you, are you ready?

- Yes!

- Right, go.

So what's happening today, angel,

in the garden of the super Kings?

- We're digging a pool.

Shoveling soil and then Joe's wheeling--

Digging the pool, okay--

Now you are just not trying!

It hurts!

It doesn't hurt, get out!

Dad, that was really good!

No, it wasn't.

Right.

Again.

So here we are in the

garden of the super Kings.

And what's going on today, angel?

- We're digging a pool.

I'm shoveling and Joe's doing the barrow.

Okay.

You are just not trying!

Will you get with there now?

- That's it.

- Dad,

that was fine.

- Get out!

- Fuck off!

What did you say?

Why is it that you can't

put even the remotest bit

of fucking effort into this family?

Because

your fucking ideas are stupid!

That's why!

Let's get a timeshare

with no fucking roof!

Let's get mum a card, it's

a fucking curtain shop.

Fucking sick!

And I'll tell you

another fucking stupid idea.

Having a son that was such a fucking--

No, you're the fucking loser!

Selfish little

shit!

Dad!

Dad, what's wrong?

Nothing, angel, there.

Just a bit of a row, that's all.

But please Dad,

is it work or something?

- No angel, honestly

everything's fine, I promise.

Look, it's not fine.

Just look at yourself.

It's not normal.

Angel, please, please.

Oh,

just stop treating me like

a bloody kid, alright?

Where are you hiding?

- This is the one, this is

the one, this is the one.

Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!

Dad?

What the hell?

I just don't understand

what's going on anymore, Dad.

I'm going to find out.

I'm going to show you what you been like.

Slow down Joe, Joe, Joe!

I want to get the--

- Dad, that's mine.

Shh,

don't be scammish, aye angel?

- No look, I'll do the filming.

No, no, no, no, shh,

you'll wake your mum.

Right, we're ready?

Smile, kids.

Nice big smile.

Okay?

And happy birthday!

Happy birthday, mum!

- I'm tangled up in the duvet.

Oh, that can happen.

Happy birthday!

- Oh gosh, look at that!

How lovely, thank you!

Blow out your candle.

Birthday breakfast for mum.

Make a wish!

- Oh, thank you darling!

That's lovely, thank you!

What could it be?

Three guesses!

- Oh, wow!

Oh, that's fantastic!

Is that the one you wanted?

- Oh Andy, it's perfect!

- Good!

- You were listening!

Aw, that's just great!

That is just great!

Perfect for the barbecue!

- It's not even going to leave

any garbage stuff out, is it?

- Certainly is not.

- What happened to you

two, did somebody die?

- Oh, they're just miffed

because I dragged them

out of bed this morning,

and I made them help with the decorations.

- Oh, that'll be nana!

Hello?

Oh, hi Wayne, no sorry it's

my birthday, I thought,

Alright, now listen it's

my birthday today, right?

So you can only give me good news, yeah?

Yeah? Oh, that's fantastic!

They accepted the offer on the house!

- Hey!

That's fantastic, yeah?

Yeah, we'll sort it all out, brilliant.

Listen Wayne, there's been a

little bit of delay on our end.

Well, is there anything we can do

to sort of just seal the

deal and make it rock solid?

Right.

Oh what, sorry?

Alright, hang on.

They haven't even

got a lock in agreement.

What's that? Yeah.

Okay, hang on.

It's like we put down a big deposit,

it really seals the deal.

- How big?

- How much would that be?

No, no, sorry, I don't do percentages.

Right, okay, hang on.

21,000

- 21 grand, love.

- But you know with the

pool, and new job, and

- I know but our first

salary check's not in yet,

and we haven't had any

others look at the house.

- I'm sure that the bank

will give us a loan.

And it's my birthday.

Andy love me?

And it's my birthday?

Come on, then!

Yes, yeah we're gonna go for that!

Yeah, I know, fantastic!

Okay, brilliant, alright!

- I'll call the bank promptly!

- I'm telling you that

petrol gauge said half full.

- It didn't say that

just now, did it John?

No shit!

- Well alright, there's something

wrong with the gauge then.

Just get rid of it!

Finally!

Fucking action!

- She's wanted elsewhere.

- Barry's just got back from

his, what do you call it, job.

Look, come inside--

- Listen guy, we need to

get this finished by Sunday.

- Sheila, Sheila really just go--

- It will be ready in time

for your precious barbecue.

- You think the barbecue's important?

The barbecue's not the point, Andy!

The point is the 21,000

pounds we stand to lose for.

The point is getting the house sold

to get this place ready for tenants!

- Why can't you just have

a little bit of faith?

I said it'll get done.

Now just keep out of my hair!

- Fine, fine, I'm gonna go make a call.

I'm gonna get this sorted out.

- No, you are not!

Understood?

- Okay.

Okay, dig.

Go on, dig!

Dig to fucking China!

Right, that's

it, everybody out!

Angel, come on, you must have

books to read or something.

And you guys, can you

clear please, quickly?

I've got some digging to

do, thank you very much.

Sorry, Stu.

- Hey, lay off!

- Please, Stu.

- Lay off!

- Digging to do, which is fine.

You're still there, angel,

I told you to go inside.

Dad, please let me help.

Go on inside, angel.

Do some reading or something.

Look, it'll be twice as fast

if the two of us dig it.

- Please, just go inside!

It'll help

us sell the house quicker.

Now she wants to move!

Dad!

- Look, angel please,

will you just go inside!

Can't you

see how you're acting?

I want to help.

I have to make you see.

I have to show you how much you changed.

I'll be fine officer, really.

You've been a wreck.

I know I've been lost,

but they wouldn't let me have my phone

Is there blood?

He's fine, we checked him.

Shh, I don't want

to wake the children, please.

I'll just give you the number

of the victim's card.

Look, I'm not

a victim here, it's Ray.

It's just in case

you need to talk to someone.

Okay, good night.

It wasn't

until I got near a turn

that I saw it was Ray.

Oh, Sheila.

The fucking gun turned half of his face.

It was like they took a fucking

crowbar to it, you know?

Oh, God.

He was just lying there.

Why did I suggest meeting

him in the pub tonight?

Any other night this

wouldn't have happened.

This is not your fault.

All for his fucking wallet!

I mean it's his wallet,

you know!

Half his face, half his face!

Listen, it could

have been you, couldn't it?

Shit!

- At the hospital

they kept saying how he might never,

might never talk again.

I mean it was hanging off.

I mean he's got

nobody to look after him.

He has no girlfriend at the moment.

I'll have to

pitch in hospital help.

Oh, he's a salesman.

What'd he going to do if he can't work?

He can't talk, he can't smile.

Somebody will get

somebody to cover his accounts

while he's...

- Jesus.

Come here let me get this jacket off.

I want to see what's going on here.

Oh god, you've got.

I know.

- Come here, I want to

take this off, love.

I want to take this off and

have a look at you, come here.

Oh, no, no.

- Are you sure you're alright?

- Is there any more, is there any more?

- Have a look now.

No, you've got it.

Come and just sit down

over there, just sit down.

Have a look at you.

I want to think that,

All that blood.

Ray in hospital.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

Yeah, I know but

not when it's going to be wet.

Not when it's going to be wet tonight!

I know, it's been on support loan.

But 19 % over two weeks

seems a little bit--

Yeah, I know.

There's absolutely no way!

But on your website,

on your website it said that--

Hello?

I know you're there.

I can hear you.

I am not in the mood

for playing stupid fucking games.

I can see you whoever you are.

I can see you.

And I'm coming!

Oi!

Oh, shit.

It's finished.

I think we better get some

professionals in tomorrow!

- Maybe if I'd had some help?

- Oh yeah, that's right, no sorry!

Don't worry, it's not your fault.

Not your fault at all

- Works, doesn't it?

It's filling up.

- You got that angel?

That was one for You've been Framed.

- Eric Morecambe's glasses.

I was gonna sell it all on eBay, but...

Well, I can have an ask around.

It's worth a bit as a collection.

- Yeah, exactly, as a collection.

If you just keep it quiet, yeah?

I want it to be a surprise.

Andy where's the loo?

- Just upstairs, love.

- Come on!

- Dad,

I don't want to!

Hey, Ray!

Oh, sorry man, I didn't

know they let you out!

What are you doing?

What the hell!

- What the hell?

What's got into you mate?

Come on inside.

Tell me what's going on.

- No idea, love.

Just give us a minute.

What are you talking about?

I know it was you!

You cunt, I could see it

in your eyes just now.

For fuck's sake, why would I?

- To try and get my job, of course!

But you're not going to

get to sit in my chair.

Only place you will be

sitting is in a police cell.

- I don't want your bloody chair.

I can't believe

I felt guilty of getting

a promotion over you.

- Do you really think that

I would attack somebody

for a stupid job?

I mean it, it's something

you fucking dreamed up!

What, he

never even got the job?

- Come on, don't take it out on me!

Look, just think about

how you're gonna feel

when they find out who really did this!

Come on!

Wait, wait, please!

Dad.

- What was that all about?

- Oh nothing, he just blames me

because I invited him out

for a drink that night.

You know, he's calmed down now.

He didn't look calm.

- He's just a bit embarrassed.

Asked him to calm down and

he said sorry, that's all.

Come and have a dance with Andy!

- No, I've done enough dancing.

- Come and dance with me!

Come on.

- No.

- Alright, Joseph!

- No.

- Yeah, come on have

a dance with your dad.

Come have a dance with your dad!

Alright, who will have

a dance with Andy, then?

Somebody's gonna wanna dance with Andy!

Come on, who'll dance with Andy?

For fuck's sake, Dad.

Stop it!

- Come on darling, have a dance with me!

Come on, have a dance with me!

Dad, calm down!

Just look at yourself, you

have the strangest look!

Look, I understand.

We'll sort it out, alright?

You don't have to pretend anymore.

- That's a great idea.

Come!

Come everybody!

Know what you are doing!

Yes okay, so everybody in frame?

Yep.

- You'll like this.

Not a lot, but you will like it!

Okay, so.

Now I shall send everybody to Timbuktu.

Shazam!

Just like that.

Alright, now what then?

- Now we rewind and play it again.

So everybody inside and let's

have a look at it on the tele.

What Dad, no, don't!

Come on angel!

We can't all watch it on

the screen, it's too small.

Dad, don't rewind it alright?

Such a spoil

sport, come on, in you go!

I'm not being a spoil sport,

just not with everyone

in front of us, okay?

Dad!

Angel, come

on, give me the camera.

Look dad, don't play it back.

What do you

mean don't play it back?

Dad, don't!

- Dad, I'm telling you,

don't rewind the tape!

Not in front of mom.

Don't be so selfish!

I'm not being selfish, dad!

Don't rewind it, alright?

We'll get another chance

to see Charlie fall in the pool!

But dad

please don't rewind that!

I'm telling you, don't!

What's gotten into you?

Dad, don't!

Right, where were we?

- That was a seagull.

- They're there!

No one else will listen to me.

So, now it's your turn.

You one-eyed little fucker.

You made me lie to my family.

Made my wife

give up on me.

My son hate me.

My daughter betray me.

So, you got any more

tricks up your sleeve?

What do we have here?

Judas Judith, our resident snoop.

Come on love, look at the camera.

Nothing to hide.

What does it feel like

being under the microscope?

- I wasn't going to

show it to anyone, dad.

I did it for you.

So you could see what you look like!

Come on, get yourself together.

We're gonna go into town for breakfast.

Look, I told you,

I was just trying to buy some

time to put things right.

- Yeah well, let's hope it

was worth 21 thousand pounds

down the toilet.

I could have sorted it.

Look, I'll phone the centers

today, see if they'll change--

- No, you won't!

Their mind about the deposit!

- You won't phone anybody.

Aw, come on!

- No, you come on!

You've already lost us one house!

There is no way I am helping

you having anything to do

with me trying to save this one.

Come on, you two!

Judith? Come here.

- Why?

- Come here.

I want you to answer a question.

Why is it that you hate me so much?

- Dad, I don't hate you.

Well, come on!

What was it that I did

that has made you hate me?

- I don't, I love you!

Angel, just tell me.

Why do you hate me?

I'm not gonna be angry, just tell me.

- Look, I understand, dad, why you did it.

I know that you did it

cuz you love us.

- Judith!

- I know that,

I understand now.

That's why I did what I did.

- Oh, my angel.

- Judith!

Now you see you have it.

All our sweat, all our blood,

all our muck.

Good and bad, sweat and sour.

It's a big King soup.

And it's all so simple really.

All you have to do is take it out,

and look at it.

And so, your fun's over.

My little filming friend.

No more watching everything.

No more storing everything away.

Because now you're gonna put things right.

You see, if Judith could understand,

I mean, if Judith can forgive,

well then, why can't the rest of us, hmm?

You see, it's the whole

picture that matters.

No more secrets!

And now, you're working for us!

And you are gonna put our family

back together again, aren't you?

Alright, here's something that

you think I don't know about.

There we go!

See, I am not the only one

with secrets, am I, hmm?

Alright, now, let's see

what else we can find.

What did we find?

Well, the answer is, not a lot.

Just the few momentos,

but here in an old handbag

hidden in the lining,

we found this.

It's Joe.

Look and you'll see his little willy.

But there isn't one of Judith.

That's something we need to talk about.

I mean, we're a family.

A unit, no room for favorites.

And here as they say is

one that I searched earlier

the lair of the must be,

a place that daylight never enters.

And this is something you didn't

feel the need to hide away.

And over here,

we have cunningly hidden,

we got

some pills.

I bet that they're not aspirin.

And down here, a phone.

It's no wonder you wanted a new one.

This one's so full of film,

it's moogly got any room for numbers.

And there's one very special

film starring Joe himself.

I want to

fuck you and she says yes.

Huh?

Nothing.

And that's our bedroom.

We've searched everywhere in here,

except for one place,

and where there are padlocks,

there are usually secrets.

So, let's just find

what we've got in here.

My magic screwdriver.

Honestly, angel.

If Joe hadn't been messing about,

I never would have broken it.

Mr. King?

Okay,

my turn.

It was me that did Ray.

Kids!

Get up!

Joe, wake up, Judith!

What's happened to the light?

- I don't know darling.

Andy!

- Where's dad?

- I don't smell any smoke.

Where's dad?

- I don't know, I think he's still out.

Andy!

Look you two wait here,

I'll go down and check.

Joe see if you can turn

that bloody thing off.

Just stay there, okay?

It's alright, I don't

think there's any fire.

The lights

Bullocks.

Bloody hell, where's the candles?

Did you call for me?

It was me you called for

- What the fuck's going on, Andy?

It was me you

called for in a crisis.

- What are you talking about?

Oh, my love, you

see that fear you're feeling,

that fear in the dark I can feel it

every heartbeat of it.

- You haven't a clue what I'm feeling.

Oh, but I have, I really have.

- If this is another one of

your stunts, I swear to God!

It's like I knew

that you would go for Joe first,

when the alarm went off.

And you got to save him first.

- You shit!

You've set this up, haven't you?

Oh, come on--

- Put the fucking lights back on!

We've gotta face it, Sheila.

We've gotta face the way that

we feel about each other.

It's like with Judith.

It's not Judith's fault that

you didn't want to have her.

- Twisted, you know what state

I was in after having Joe.

You know what I realized?

No, do you know what I realized

when that alarm went off?

That I couldn't have known

which room to run to first.

I couldn't have picked between us.

That fire would have taken us all.

- You've got no idea how

I feel about my children.

And that's the point, exactly!

We've gotta work this stuff out together.

I mean really understand

the way that we feel.

The way that you understood me, angel.

- She's here? Judith?

What did you hear?

- Dad, have you got the camera on?

- You filming this?

- He's got night vision on.

- You fucking freak!

No, come on!

- You win, we're off!

No, just listen!

No please, please don't!

Go get your stuff!

Just put something on!

Right look,

nobody's going anywhere.

No, just go in the lounge

and sit down, please, please!

- Just get lost!

No, look, I just

want you to listen to me!

- Oh, fuck, where's the keys Andy?

Look, just go and sit down.

I'll give you the keys

afterwards, I promise.

- Please, dad!

Look, it's alright, angel.

I just wanna show you some

filming that I've been doing.

That's all.

- Yeah,

well, tough shit!

- Aw, come on!

Look, now

I've locked that door.

- Come here, kids.

Look,

just go and sit down now!

Now!

Alright, that's better.

It won't be a tick.

Right, let me show you what

I've been filming today.

Try anything

like you did with Ray,

and this goes straight to the police.

- Look it, angel, you know it--

You just outed

your daughter, you creep!

- No angel, look, I just didn't want you

to have the pressure,

that's what I'm saying!

- Can't you see, dad?

It's all wrong.

- No, no, look,

this way I get to find out

what's going on inside you

like any dad would.

- But dad, I don't understand

what's going on inside.

- Right then okay, we

can work it out together,

but those feelings that

you have for Claire,

there's nothing to be

embarrassed or ashamed about.

You know, you can't control love!

That's the whole point!

- You don't understand!

None of it's right!

Look, angel!

Oh, what's that about?

I don't want

to end up like Ray.

- Oh, come on!

I did that for us!

For the job, for the house!

Oh, you cannot!

Alright look, I'll make

it up to him somehow.

Fucking unbelievable!

- Look, stop filming.

Don't tell

me what to do anymore!

Oh, too slow, mental!

Alright Joe,

you're just making it worse.

Make this worse?

Look, just go

upstairs and get Judith, okay?

The little lesbian stalker?

Grow

up and do as you're told!

Fine!

King matching dildo!

It's like, it's

not that difficult to grasp!

Look, I know it's a bit

of a shock at first,

seeing it all back like that.

But, think this way, we

need never feel any shame

any embarrassment every again.

What I'm talking about

is better understanding.

All of us being happier

than we've ever been before!

Happier than before?

Yes!

Welcome to Andy's world

of happiness and understanding.

And why not?

No thank you,

you promised me the keys.

A promise is

a promise, eh Sheila?

- Thank you.

- Jesus,

you were the one to botch

up the truth, you know?

Or does the truth only

apply to what is it?

Mortgages and promotions, is that it?

- Truth?

- Yes!

- The truth?

You wouldn't know the truth if

it smacked you in the mouth,

you stupid ass!

Mr. Fucking Truth Detective

you didn't even check the date

on the ultrasound!

What do you mean?

I'd forgotten I'd even

had that, you bastard.

I don't understand.

- No, you don't understand.

You never did understand.

What it meant for me.

Having Judith so soon after

what having Joe took out of me.

God, Andy, all that pressure!

- What pressure?

Telling everybody I was pregnant

when I hadn't even decided

whether or not I wanted to keep it!

- I did that because I was happy!

You liar!

You did it so I couldn't back out!

- No, love honestly-

- All I wanted was a fucking rest!

- No, love you've got

this completely wrong!

- Well, I sure as shit

wasn't gonna tell you

the third time I got pregnant.

Yeah, that's some truth for you.

Talk about that.

Digest that!

Fucking love that!

Come on, kids, we're going!

Nobody's going anywhere.

You keep away from me.

Give me the keys.

Give me the keys!

- Get off!

Get off her!

Don't you fucking touch her!

Nobody is fucking

touching fucking anybody!

I'm warning you!

How come

that I am the outlaw here, hey?

I mean, I've lied about my

promotion for a couple of weeks.

You have lied for years

about killing our baby!

Andy, just let us leave.

- Look, aw come on,

don't back away from me.

Look, will you stop backing away.

Look, there's no point

if you're all always backing away from me.

Don't, aw now you're being stupid!

How come I'm the baddy here then?

How come I'm the baddy

when you killed our child?

Because you're

the bloody bastard,

that I couldn't turn to,

when I had to make the

hardest decision of my life!

- No, I'm not having that!

I'm not!

I'm the bastard that loved you!

I'm the bastard that was there for you!

You chose not to talk to me!

And it wasn't your decision!

They're not just your children!

- Andy, let us leave!

- No.

- We just want to leave!

- Open the fucking door.

- Oh, fuck!

- I just want to try and

understand, that's all.

I just want to understand.

Please, just talk to me!

- Andy, just let us go!

- Look, I just wanna understand!

I don't wanna fucking hurt you,

you stupid fucking

Dad, please!

Judith! Don't

I wouldn't hurt you, angel!

Keep away from her!

Angel! Come on,

angel, you can't believe

that I'd hurt you!

Get away from her!

We're filming this!

Angel, I'd never

hurt you but I would myself!

- Dad, go home!

Will you stop

being frightened of me?

- Joe, go get some towels.

- You were swimming, angel!

- I've got you, I've got you!

You stupid idiot!

- Sorry!

We're not leaving, you are!

Get your stuff and then get into Mike's!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

You're still

here in the morning,

I'm calling the police!

- Sorry, I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

I do love you all very much.

And if...

If I could change,

if I could change it all,

I would, but I can't.

I can't think of any other way

to set you free.

You have to believe that I'm doing this

because I love you very much.

I love you very much,

and

you deserve more.

Daddy...

The only thing that daddy can do for you.

The only thing that daddy can do.

Angel, oh angel.

See how you're growing up now?

And I won't be there.

I won't be there to see.

When you find me, shit, oh shit.

Dad?

Don't come in, angel.

Go to bed.

- Dad?

- I'm fine, love.

Are you alright?

- I'm fine, go upstairs.

Go on upstairs, I'm just

a bit tired, that's all.

- Are you sure, you're alright?

- Yeah.

Come here, come here, come here.

I love you very much.

I love you so very much.

It's okay.

Dad?

It'll be alright, you know?

It'll be fine.

It's gonna be fine.

It'll sort itself out.

- Go upstairs, go to bed.

It's a very late night, go on.

Go, go on, find some sleep.

Please angel, please go to bed.

I'll be gone soon.

- I don't want you to go, dad.

Come here, come here.

Angel.

I love you very, very, very much.

- I love you too, dad.

I promise it will all be alright.

We'll be okay again.

It'll just be like normal.

- I know, I know

everything's gonna be fine.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Come here.

- I'm sorry, dad.

- Fine, everything's gonna be fine.

Shh, angel, just be quiet.

Just be quiet, shh!

Just let go, just let go.

Let go, let it go.

You go.

Oh, angel.

Happy now?

That's a good boy.

Good boy.

Come on.

You're good kids.

Everything is gonna be fine.

No!

No, no, no!

Sweetness, no!

No!

It's all gonna be fine!

Just be quiet!

They're fine, they're fine!

It wasn't supposed to, shh!

It wasn't supposed to happen, I'm sorry.

Come on.

Yes, you can.

Come on, darling, come on, sweetness.

Come to the kids, come to the kids.

Please, come to the kids.

Come on, the kids.

It's gonna be fine.

One, two, three.

Come on, one, two, three.

Come on, one, two, three!

See, the kids?

One more time.

Here we are.

Here we all are.

See, we're together.

We're together.

We're all together.

That's good.

I'll be with you soon.

Will you take

these and put them in the car?

Oh, love.

Come on, angel!

Don't tell me this is still running.

Who left this o--

Exhibit A (2007) - full transcript

Extract Subtitles From Media