Everything Is Cinema (2021) - full transcript

It is for a documentary.

Brother, show this to Modi.

No, don't worry.

I am Chris and this is my lock-down memoir.

There will be many differences between...

Louis Malle's 1969 documentary, Calcutta,
and this film.

Firstly and most importantly,

this film is not about Kolkata,

even though the city and its people...

feature in this movie at various points.

Since I watched Calcutta
10 years ago,



I have always dreamt of coming
to this city,

and filming a continuation to whatever...

Malle witnessed 50 years ago.

His gaze was of a Westerner...

and everything he saw was through
that Western curiosity.

I am no more of an insider than
Malle himself was, in this city.

I don't speak Bengali or Hindi.

The moment you take the camera
out to shoot,

people become aware of it.

My idea was to spend an year in Kolkata...

and gather as much footage as I can
and edit it all at the end.

I was lucky to get a producer
who got interested in the concept.

So myself and my wife Anita
came to Kolkata on...

January 3rd, 2020.



It was the first time in Kolkata
for both of us.

As I started looking at the city
through my viewfinder,

the city started fascinating me
more than I ever expected.

Anita has been acting in
Malayalam movies...

and there was a gap between
the schedules of two films.

So she decided to tag along
to take a break from the regular life,

and I rented a small apartment in Alipur.

She doesn't like the song...

with glue!

Will impress the girl with missed calls...

Stick my photograph to your heart
my love,

Stick, oh dear...

Stick with glue.

On your feet.

I have been ready for a long time...

Impress me, my love.

Okay, that was very good.

Oh brother, she is carrying.

Would a human do this in her condition?

Hey guy, the girl did what she could.

Now you show us what you can do.

Why did you intoxicate my youth?

You don't like this song?

Hips... When you shake your hips,
a lollipop is how you look!

When you apply lipstick,
it moves the whole district.

You look the best in the entire district.

Hips... When you shake your hips,
a lollipop is how you look!

When you wear a nose ring, the cities
of Bhabhua and Mohaniya go stirring.

Oh you look stunning!

You look like butter ice-cream...

Hips... When you shake your hips,
a lollipop is how you look!

Nargees.

When you shake your hips...

Wont you dance anymore?

People are waiting to see.
What is bothering your mind?

The first three weeks were very peaceful.

On January 30th, the first case of corona
was reported in India.

But I was roaming on the streets
of Kolkata..

Till the last week of February.

By the beginning of March we decided
to stay in confinement...

until we get to know what is really
happening around us.

One good thing that happened to me...

due to this lock-down is that,

I got back my reading habit.

The first book I opened is...

Emil Cioran's 'On the Heights of Despair'.

At first, I thought of making
this film in two parts.

One with the camera on her,
and the next one on me.

But I would know that I am acting.

And she is not great with words.

And it is known to everyone that,

you don't need brains to be an actor.

For others, she may be a star.

But she is too unreal, plastic.

She does not understand that...

nobody else would examine her this closely.

She would appear in front of the camera
only with her make-up on.

Too shallow.

Look at the kind of roles she chooses!

So I decided to film her discreetly.

Seems like it is the time of her
periods again.

I hate periods, I fuckin' hate it!

It is not for the reasons you might assume.

If you think that it is because
she doesn't cook for me during this time,

I don't want her to cook for me at all.

I can survive with a
microwave and a freezer.

Shoot of my dream project got canceled...

after I had shot for almost two months.

Fucking producers.

They asked me to wait for three months
for more funds.

I tried pleading and even threatening them,
but they wont concede.

This is why I believe that
there should be more micro budget films.

Now that I have a camera
and a subject to film,

let me free myself and cinema from
the hands of capitalism.

Can we go out for a drive?

I don't think it is safe.

Let us talk.

If you stay inside the car and keep
the glasses up, we will be safe.

It is not safe. If we go, we may have to
stop at least to pee.

So we are not going?

Let's go in the evening.
Then I can shoot a couple of videos too.

What video?

Like you don't know!

Don't shoot anything today.
Spend some time with me.

Give me some time.

We are together only!

Yeah, right!

You will always be with your camera.

It happens all the time, and
I will be left out.

I wanted to get out as
I have been staying inside for so long.

Do I have to spend time alone there too?

You think I don't have any frustrations?

Why can't it be about me as well?
At least, sometimes.

It is always about you.

I just want to be able to do
what I like doing too.

Chris, I just asked you to spend
some time with me.

And this is how you respond.
Wonderful!

You always say that you want to be
a part of what I do.

Then carry the tripod...

Or help me with changing lenses...

Forget it. You can go with your camera.

A virus is an organism at the edge of life.

They say that it is information
covered in fat.

Once it enters your body,

it passes down the information
that is unnecessary for your body.

Or in other words,
unnecessary information can hurt you.

I have always tended to look away...

when something that I don't like occur.

That is my defense mechanism.

That is how I grew up.

Now, they say that the virus
is everywhere.

And I am stuck in this
rented apartment with her...

for over a week now.

A complete lock-down is not
in place yet, but...

it is safer to self quarantine.

Imagine living with someone who
shares almost nothing with you.

You have to give some sort of meaning
to that relationship, right?

You remember that shot from
Kieslowski's Camera Buff?

As the main character's wife walks out,

he brings up his fingers looking for
a frame to shoot that.

I am that guy.

And here is another privileged
upper middle class

pseudo-feminist lying down with her...

'I am here to impress myself and
nobody else' attitude.

Bullshit.

First of all, these unscientific methods
are not going to help her skin.

She adds vitamin A pills to eggs everyday
and applies it on her hair.

That is blasphemy.

She eats only fruits and chicken.

If I cook rice, she wouldn't touch it.

Not because she doesn't like it but
since she is on a diet.

I know what you are thinking right now.

Let her eat what she wants to eat.

But have you tried living with someone...

who wants to share a lifestyle with you?

And do everything according to her wish?

Anyway.

Even if we assume that all this
insanity is going to help her get a...

fairer skin and a slimmer body,

she is confirming to the mainstream
standards of beauty,

which is obviously constructed
for the male gaze.

You think that is feminism?

Trust me, I am a better feminist than that.

She loves the attention from randoms.

That explains why she became an actress
and not a filmmaker.

A filmmaker always tries to resonate...

with the people who can understand him.

But an actress just wants someone
to care for her.

Anyone.

That is a hell of a lot of daddy issues
right there.

These guys who see her
only for her skin complexion...

or the voice in which she sings,

they just want to fuck her.

I have a theory.

Everything we do in the public domain...

is to attract potential sexual partners.

Everything we do, creating an art work,

making a film, writing a poem,

singing a song, playing
an instrument or even...

talking sweetly is an advertisement
for our sexual organs.

There is only one difference.

Either you care who you fuck or you don't.

She loves to sign autographs
and pose for photos with randoms.

She says that it is all part of
the inevitable marketing.

Not only a different country,
even if one comes from a different state,

he has to be quarantined for fourteen days,
as per the government order.

If he goes out, the cops will
throw him in jail.

And that would affect his prospects
of getting a VISA to study abroad.

You can scare him by saying that.

Mom, it is pointless to
take him for screening.

They would check only his temperature.

You can't know if he is infected.

It would take up to ten days to
develop symptoms.

That is to see if he
already has got a fever.

If he takes a Panadol, the fever
wouldn't show.

You can expect him to do
something like that too.

What cough?

Coughing must be from his
habit of smoking.

There'd be headache and all.
Ask him to stay home no matter what!

Even if he has got something, there is
nothing else to do.

Ask him to stay in isolation.

That's just pathetic.

Mom, what are you trying to say?

That all the other kids are bad
and yours alone is a saint!?

He would be the one to spoil
other children too.

I will try. He is not someone who
listens to me. But I shall try.

I cannot assure you that I can
put some sense into him.

Maid is not coming.
I am managing by myself.

Yeah. I cook whatever I know.

No thanks. I am happy with whatever I know.
I am already doing enough.

It has been more than
a week since I got out.

Ask mom to make him do some dishes,
cleaning and some cooking.

Also ask him to wash the clothes of
Pappa, Mamma, you and himself...

and put them out to dry.

You need not do all the work alone.

Let him learn some household jobs too.

Now if he is shy to do women's jobs,

ask him to plough the land and
plant some vegetables.

My dream project is delayed indefinitely.

And the entire world is shut down.

And all they have to discuss is
about her little brother.

That little piece of shit
is so useless that...

he once borrowed my car and
ran over a pedestrian.

Who told these blunders?

It is not that only people over
sixty-five get infected,

it can be fatal for people over sixty five.

That doesn't mean that youngsters are safe.

And since you smoke and all,
you are susceptible.

It's not a matter of your health alone.

There is something called
social responsibility.

What is the use of studying at a
big university!

Stay at home.

Even if they say something, ignore that!

I told Mom too.
Screening wouldn't tell us anything.

Stay in for at least ten days,
if not fourteen.

No. You had that accident too!
So don't drive for a while.

She is staying home.
You can also stay.

I have Prime, Netflix...

Chris has also got MUBI and
some other services.

I will get the passwords for you.

I have wasted more money
and time on him than...

I have ever on my own family.

Anita used to say that I don't
understand things...

because I am a single child.

You don't need to be single child
to run away from exploiters. Come on.

That reminds me of the times when
we used to properly sit and talk.

For years now we have managed to avoid
each other's company.

She has been traveling from
one shoot to another.

And I have been either
planning a shoot or...

staying home for most of the time.

I used to love solitude before I met Anita.

When we fell in love,
like every other couple...

we could not stay apart even for a minute.

Later that minute became a necessity

and as time passed,
that minute became a day and...

not long before it evolved into weeks.

If it was not for this situation...

neither of us would have spent
all these days...

in an apartment together.

Anyway, it's not all that bad.

Now at least I get to make this movie.

She can't survive without the company of
random stupid people.

It has been only two months and...

she has already made friends with this...

Mallu woman who lives downstairs.

Now she has donned the role of
her relationship counselor.

As if she knows how to manage
her relationship herself!

Wouldn't even bring the tea cup
he used, to the kitchen.

One day, James came back from work early

and starved until I came back from work...

saying there was no one to serve him.

If it's so difficult, let him starve.

It is not our necessity to feed them!

I wouldn't blame James though.

It's all because of how he was brought up.

If we go to his house for vacation!

That's how it works with privilege. Those
who have got it wouldn't part with it.

He has changed a bit now.

But cooking and bringing the children up
are still my responsibility.

Please drink your tea.

Is your hair naturally curly
or have you done something to it?

Everybody asks me that.
It has always been like this.

When I was at LSR (a prestigious college),

straightening the hair became a fashion.

I also straightened my hair then.

That was the trend back then!

I had it straightened
for almost fifteen years.

But, I felt really sad after that.

Because straightening can ruin its
volume and texture forever.

I always wonder why these girls
do this to themselves!

My sister also used to bleach
her hair for a while.

This bitch and many other bitches
come to visit her...

at the most unexpected and at the
least preferred times.

It is funny. They all look and sound
the same to me.

If it was not for the corona,

they wouldn't have stopped admiring
each other with their fingers.

Yeah, I do know that all females
are lesbians.

Surabhi also told me. You are so lucky.
Chris supports you with everything.

Even if there are some fights,
you are loved.

Yeah. He is a bit tender these days.

James doesn't like me
even wearing a good sari.

He wants to have the final say
in everything.

Chris is not like that.
He wouldn't tell anything then and there,

but would bring up everything when
we disagree on something else.

He would even accuse that
I dressed up to show off to someone else.

I see. I thought...

Oh! They are men. They are all the same.

How does she know for sure that
this bitch hasn't got corona?

While we were in Kerala too
she used to get visitors almost every day.

These women tend to find each other
no matter where they go.

And it is official, a complete lockdown
is in place from today in Kolakata.

And I am stuck with her for
who knows how long!

Mummy, sometimes Chris is like that,
you know!

I don't know about that.
He tells me that he loves his brother.

That's true.

Once Johny's father-in-law rang him
asking for some favor.

He avoided him, saying
that he was too busy.

What! Wasn't that before his shoot began!

He would help the people he likes.

Otherwise he would act
like they don't exist.

She is talking to my mother.

See how she manages her
relationship issues?

By bitching about me to my mother.

As if she knows about me so well.

My entire life got fucked over
by these two women.

And now they are forming a league.

Somebody told her that she can increase...

her vital capacity if she does yoga.

If you have good lungs, corona cannot...

do much to you apparently.

She is someone who claims to be...

extremely scientific about things.

But at the same time she believes that...

coconut water can cure cancer,

sandalwood can lighten your
skin complexion, etc.

A rare combination of pseudo science and...

unnecessary Wikipedia knowledge she is.

I have tried my best to educate her...

put some real sense into her.

But all efforts have been for not.

You deserve this black screen for...

successfully bearing
her face for this long.

It seems like it is not getting
any better outside...

even during the second week of April.

Today morning I got an email from
my producer that...

he cannot go on with the Kolkata project
any longer.

It is impossible to find a new producer
at this stage.

I should have doubted this when he
hesitated to sign the contract itself.

So whatever I shot outside
are pretty much useless.

That's when I thought,
why not use them here?

Could give you a break from the
monotonous interiors too.

I used to crave for the interiors.

I would have shot these rooms
and windows...

in a much different way,
if it was three months ago.

Her constant presence makes
these rooms...

look smaller than they used to be.

What virus changed the most is
how we perceive the world.

The most interesting aspect of
Malle's documentary was...

the people staring back at the camera.

He assigns it certain exotic value...

of the unknown culture.

But for me it is just a reminder
of my existence...

right in the middle of this crowd.

The only apparent difference I possess
from them is my camera.

Even then some natives tend to come
to me asking for directions.

No matter how hard she tries,
Anita cannot enjoy this kind of stuff.

Maybe it is not her fault
she is wired that way.

When we started dating, she told me
that she loves filmmaking.

And we used to watch movies together.

We started drifting apart not when
we stopped having sex,

but when we stopped watching
movies together.

I congratulate myself for never
having a baby with her.

I have mentioned earlier about...

how she enjoys the attention of the camera.

She gets hundreds of messages every day...

complimenting her looks.

And she sends a heart
to every single one of those texts.

Superficiality is what she thrives on.

She is reading Paulo Coelho,
and they call her the intellectual one.

She even used to go to colleges
to empower women and all.

Before we left Kerala, she went
to some seminar...

organized by some intellectuals
about the importance of...

scientific knowledge over religious faith.

These idiots would go all ecstatic...

when a pretty face with boobs talk about...

how the universe is conspiring
for your dreams and all.

Tell me about the height of hypocrisy
in everyday life.

She is one of those
morons who think that...

her irrational superstitions can help...

the world survive a virus outbreak.

I dare her to walk out unprotected
and let her God save her.

We once went to Ooty together.

While we were in the gardens
clicking photos...

it fell out of her mouth by accident...

how she used to enjoy cooking for her ex.

Trust me, I am not the possessive,
jealous guy I once used to be.

But back then, it hurt me.

And I know that she intended
to hurt me because...

I asked her to stop the
elaborate cooking...

that she used to do every night.

The kitchen would look like a war field
after 8 pm every night.

I was only trying to help her
by asking to stop it.

It doesn't matter what we
actually talk about.

Every conversation attempted
these days lead to this.

So?

See, I know that you are getting
suffocated here,

but I am used to this kind of lifestyle.

That's why I don't try to comfort you.

I was just asking about the potato bread.

It is good.

Really?

I have told you that your cooking
is really good.

See, it was all that I wanted
to hear from you.

When you talk to me without being
arrogant, that's all I need!

You wouldn't miss even one chance
to blame me!

I was appreciating you, man!

You'd manage to ruin everything good.

That's what you have specialized in.

Fuck off.

What did you say? Fuck you?

What? Are you trying to scare me?

Piece of shit.

It was Anita herself who told me
while we were dating that...

every husband and wife thinks about
killing their partner...

at least once in their marriage.

I still haven't had murder thoughts but...

I would have preferred a nice quiet night,

eating my take away while
I don't have to do...

deep analysis on how to compliment
the meal.

What is the bloody use of her praying
to some imaginary guy...

if she is going to behave like this
with me all the time?

Every time we talk, it turns out to be
another mental game.

We do a bit too much so we can use
that against the other in the future.

Anita used to win prizes at school for...

story writing competitions, I have heard.

But I have never seen her writing
anything since we got together.

I have asked her several times
why she doesn't write anymore.

She never gave me a proper answer.

Maybe it is me who stopped her, or
maybe it is her laziness.

Maybe she does not feel that
void anymore...

after I have filled them,
like she told me a few years ago.

Oh yes! I do remember what she said
from the day one,

if they are compliments.

You would think that I am manipulating
footages.

But you must understand that
all I am doing is...

to collect footages of
her daily routine and...

juxtapose them in the order of my thoughts.

Cinema is about juxtaposing
instances of life

and trying to make some sense out of it.

What's going on?

I am making a cake.

It's Vrinda's birthday today.

So I thought of baking a cake for her.

Are you really dumb or are you
acting dumb?

I don't understand.
I am just making a cake for her.

She is my friend. It is her birthday.

It is lockdown!

Yeah... So she can't go out to buy a cake!
That's why I decided to bake one.

Why are we risking our lives?

I am not gonna meet her. I will just leave
this at her doorstep and come back.

That's not the issue. We are living with
minimal resources here.

You can't waste stuff like this.

Chris, I have used only three eggs.
What's wrong with you?

We went for shopping together last week.

We bought only what is necessary for our
survival, that too until the fifteenth.

And you are just throwing it all away
to show off!

Chris, I am the one who cooks here.
I use only very minimal resources.

Oh, are you? What about all those times
when I cooked for myself?

Are you trying to imply in between
that I never cook here?

But mostly I am cooking. I made pickles...

I blanched vegetables, kept them in
the freezer. I have done a lot of work.

Yeah so? That doesn't give you
the right to waste things, right?

Chris, If Vrinda makes a biriyani or pasta,
doesn't she share that with us?

But the situations have changed.

It is her birthday today!

You haven't got the seriousness
of the situation!

I took only some wheat flour, butter
and three eggs!

I took only three. There are enough eggs
for you till the fifteenth.

I don't want any. Is that okay?

I can survive on paneer, I will
eat something. I don't want eggs.

So you would rather starve for your friend.

You are trying to make me feel guilty
for three fucking eggs?

Just going to put this bloody cake at
her doorstep and I am going to walk away.

I am not going to touch her.
She is not going to touch me.

After I come here, I will call her up
and say, 'Surprise! Just open it up.'

Why are you such a paranoid asshole?!

What are you trying to prove to me Anita?

So the intensity of this situation hasn't gotten
registered into that stupid head of yours!

I am not an idiot, Chris.
I am not getting out.

Then why are you acting like one?

This makes me happy.
All my fucking shoots got canceled.

I have endorsements, nothing is happening.

I am stuck here, and I am someone
with some creative energy.

Baking makes me happy.

This is how you create?

Baking is creative. It makes me happy.

Some silly recipe you saw on Youtube!

Not from Youtube. My mother
taught me this recipe.

I used to do this as a child.
It is nostalgic for me.

Why are you making me explain so much
for three fucking eggs?

Not that I spent all your money. I too
earn. I have supported you for months.

I too have supported you for ages!

When was that?

How did you survive
before you had a career?

You were just a student.

So what? I made it!

By acting in my movie.

That was my first movie.
But I don't act in your movies anymore.

Yeah, because I don't cast you anymore.

Right! You think it was easy to
stand your majesty's dictatorship!

Why don't you learn from James?
He provides for so many homeless everyday.

Maybe that's why she is sleeping around
while he is away for business.

Chris, she doesn't cross the line!

Even if she does, it is her fucking
business. What's wrong with you?

Why are you so paranoid?

Why do you insist on having such shitty
friends and keeping some so close?

I am not asking you to be an altruist.

I am just saying that give a bit.

What is wrong with you?
I am trying my best.

I just wanted to be happy.
I am stranded here.

I don't have anything else to do.
Vrinda is a nice girl.

Of course, Vrinda is a better person.

If I were not straight, I would have
married her.

Please do me a favor.
When you go down with the cake...

please stay there. Please don't come back.

Who are you to tell me that?

Because this is a house that
my producer gave me.

You think I cannot afford a rented
apartment? I can also do the same.

What about all the fucking shit you wear?
Who bought them for you?

When I met you, you were wrapped in rags!
I taught you some sense.

That was much better.

I taught you some sense.
I got you so many things.

What sense?
The sense of the upper class?

Why am I even explaining to you?

Who sanitized the place she sat?

I don't want to explain anything to you.

I didn't ask you to sanitize it.
You are a fucking moron.

A paranoid asshole.
That is not my problem.

Now keep away from my fucking cake
and go and kill yourself, you moron!

The politically correct idiot that I was!

I used to think that it was the
conformist in her...

who was always thinking about
cooking and feeding randoms.

Her friends alone have eaten at least
a few life's worth of food.

She lives in some utopia where she gets
all the nice things in life.

That too at the very moment
she wants them.

I grew up in a family of farmers.

It is in my genes to live with
what I have got.

I don't know what kind of parenting
technique her parents employed, but...

whatever they are, they
weren't much of a success.

I don't understand how she can forget
the hard times we live in.

Even the meaning of hard times
is different for her.

She is incapable of making use of
the opportunities...

that these times have provided us with.

I know that it is insensitive to be
too optimistic at this point.

But we have to go on.

Art has to go on.

You have two choices. You can either
worry about your future...

and plant every bloody seed you can
find in the kitchen...

and try to grow them in your balcony.

Or you can try to create something
meaningful.

In Kerala, actors are usually
addressed as artists.

Yeah, right.

You might wonder why I am
making this film.

They have never seen the real person
beneath the two inch thick foundation.

I am doing her and the world a favor.

Let the truth speak for itself.

Maybe the fate of Julian Assange and Edward
Snowden is waiting me too, but hey...

True heroes are always recognized
only after their death.

I met her for the first time during
the preview of one of my films.

She was a student back then.

Later she acted in one of my movies
and now she has a very busy career...

even though the money is not that great.

You know how actresses are treated
in our movie industry.

Sometimes I feel that she wouldn't have
minded doing some compromises...

if she was not with me.

I feel for people in marriages.

If they have even a bit of individuality
left in them,

how can they stand another
person forcing them...

to live in certain way
every day of their lives!

Maybe she too feels the same.

Maybe she is someone with entirely
different set of morals and priorities.

That brings me back to the question of...

why we got together in the first place.

Was it merely her looks?

No... I have met prettier girls.

Or was it because I was desperate?

Again, I am a filmmaker.

And it is not difficult for a filmmaker,
no matter who he is, to get laid.

At that point our hormones made us
feel something lyrical,

something magical,

something we both wished never ended.

But as a matter of fact,
like everything would, it also ended.

From two people who didn't stand
each other's absence,

we also turned into two people who cannot
stand each other's presence anymore.

I remember something from those days.

I once gifted her
'The Poetics of Space' by Gaston Bachelard.

Years later, when I
visited her family once,

I found the same book
on her sister's shelf.

What is even funnier is that Anita hadn't
read even a single page of that book.

Doesn't matter now.

What is more important now, I think is,

if we manage to come out of this situation,

is there a hope for a better future?

What's your bloody issue, man!?

Why can't you close it slowly?

Why do you disturb my sleep
every single night?

I am so sick of you.

You better sleep before me from now on.

Or you sleep outside.

Do you understand?

Yeah...

One night I decided to sleep outside
after she talked to me like this.

Around 2 o'clock at night...

she came there asking why I
abandoned her...

and won't love her anymore.

We have been doing
almost everything that...

a married couple is not supposed to do.

We fight, we swear at each other,

we even feel sometimes that
the other person might kill us.

I have never fallen into a depression
like I used to, after meeting her.

She too shares this opinion, I think.

She said on my birthday that
there has never been a dull moment.

If I have succeeded in entertaining
one person with my life itself,

that is not a bad life at all.

But is that enough to live on?
I am not sure.

What if we could spend all this energy
in a better way?

What if we could truly act like a team?

Or are we too different even
physiologically that...

the two of us were never meant
to be together?

I don't know.

What if there is no light at all?

What if there is only the tunnel?
Can someone be content with that?

Isn't peace a bit too overrated?

I don't know.

You know that we haven't had sex
in six months right?

When the initial passion of a marriage
wears out, that is natural.

No, it is not.

Just think that we have
better priorities now.

I cannot be in a relationship when...

my partner thinks that I am
not his priority.

What are you... a three-year-old?

So, when you are in the mood...

I am supposed to come to the mood too?

But when I have the need,
you will make me beg for it?

Nobody is forcing you to have
sex with me...

when you are not in the mood,

and look at yourself!

Why do you make me beg
even for sex?

I am not making you do anything.

I just don't have the mood.

Do one thing, get out.

I will watch some porn and masturbate.

Come, sit down.

What?

As partners I believe that...

we should never hide anything
from each other.

That's alright.

I would expect that from you too.

What are you talking about?

Everything.

You think I am hiding something from you?

No, I want to ask you something.

What?

Did you really do what you said
you were going to do?

You mean the masturbation?

Yeah.

Yeah... What else did you expect?

Who were you thinking about
while masturbating?

It is none of your business.

It is my business.

I don't think so.

Yes, it is.

It really doesn't matter Chris.

It wasn't you if that is what you are
so curious about.

Who then? You were masturbating
to your ex?

Chris, stop it.

Who else? That asshole childhood
buddy of yours?

May be it is him! Who are you...

You cannot provoke someone to a point...

where they have no other option...

but to defend themselves and then
call them an abuser.

Every relationship is a power game...

and the tactics are valid only when
you are inside the game.

Now the game is over.

It was silly of her to walk out.

I am just another man with a
thousand shortcomings.

And everything I say would be biased.

While objectifying is one of
its characteristics,

camera has the tendency to connect you
with the subject of the film.

And I haven't refrained myself
from using her close-ups.

When you have nothing new to do,

you start collecting things from the past.

As Bergson said, matter is
composed of images.

Since I lost my religious faith
when I was 15,

I have been in search for an alternative.

And cinema found me.

A camera and a computer is all that
I need to keep living.

If you look hard enough,

you can always find subjects around you.

At least in your memories.

If you ask whether there is any hope left,

that question itself is meaningless.

These shots get their attribute of...

waiting for something from their
mere existence.

But whether you are in a state of
having a partner or not,

the quality of life remains unchanged.

After she left, I finished that book
that I was reading.

It was as if someone wrote
that book just for me.

Life is death's prisoner.

Like how a movie is always
trapped between...

two blank screens.

In my eyes, this whole situation is
a mere reminder of that.

When the tomb of Majnun was once
visited by the spirit of Layla...

She carried with her, a few
withered flowers of her desires.

From the grave came a voice,
as she was about to place them...

You may offer them all, my Beloved,
but slowly... slowly...

The veil slides from her face,
slowly... slowly...

The moon comes out, slowly... slowly...

The veil slides from her face,
slowly... slowly...

As she entered adolescence,
she started to shy away from me...

As she entered adolescence,
she started to shy away from me...

Modesty came to her very soon,
but youth came slowly... slowly...

I am awake since the night of separation,
Oh Angels! Let me sleep now.

I am awake since the night of separation,
Oh Angels!

Let me sleep now.

You may take account of my deeds some
other time, but slowly... slowly...

They slit the throat mercilessly,
and I tell the kinsmen...

They slit the throat mercilessly,
and I tell the kinsmen...

Your honor, slowly... slowly...
My Lord, slowly... slowly...

The veil slides from her face,
slowly... slowly...