Everybody Loves Goofy (2003) - full transcript

It's nonstop laughs as Goofy, the world's wackiest hound dog, returns in a hilarious collection of his greatest cartoon shorts. The whole family will enjoy Goofy's patented brand of comedy ...

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[up-tempo music plays]

[chuckles]

[in Japanese] We love Goofy!

[in French] We love Goofy.

[in German] I really like Goofy.

[in Spanish] We love Goofy.

- [in a foreign language] Goofy.
- [in a foreign language] I like Goofy.

We love Goofy!

[speaking foreign language]

[boy translating] I actually like Goofy
because he is always so clumsy.



That is quite fun.

[snoring]

[yawning]

[mumbles]

[sniffing]

[exclaims]

[snoring]

[chuckling]

[objects rattling]

[snoring continues]

- [trumpets]
- Whoa!

Oh, good morning, Dolorious. [chuckles]

Be right out.

? It's a lovely day



? You betcha!

[chuckles]

? Everything is gay

? You betcha!

[chuckles, humming]

? La, la, la, la, la

[laughing]

[Goofy scat singing]

? La, la, la
La, la, la, laaa

- [whispering indistinctly]
- [laughs] Yup. I got some.

- Guess which hand. [chuckles]
- Hmm?

Nope.

Nope.

Uh-uh.

No.

[guffawing]

No! [chuckles] No, no!

[laughing]

No! No! [laughing]

[thumps]

[inhaling]

[crunches]

? I'm a-gonna wash Dolorious

[clanks]

? She's a-gonna look glorious

[clanks]

[Goofy humming]

- Your bath's ready, Dolorious!
- [exclaims]

Hey! Dolorious! Come back!

[gasps]

[shivers]

[screeching]

[fanfare plays]

- [grunts]
- [crashing]

Good morning, sir.

Hmm? Something wrong here.

Dolorious!

[man] Giddap!

Dolorious!

[pounding]

- [shouting]
- [crashing]

[tsking]

- [groaning]
- [sniffing]

[wheezing]

[sneezes]

[humming]

[Goofy] ? La, la, la, la, laaa, la, la

- [chuckles]
- [wheezes]

Whoa!

Phew!

- [wheezing]
- [exclaiming]

[sneezes]

- [bubble pops]
- [yelling]

? I'm a-gonna wash Dolorious

- ? She's a-gonna look glorious
- [sneezes]

? Bum, bum, bum, bum
Bum, bum, bum, bum

? La, la, la, la, la...

Gosh!

[Dolorious wheezes]

[sneezes]

[Dolorious wheezing]

- [screams]
- [sneezes]

[crashing]

[Goofy] Hey! Let me out of here!

[chuckling]

- [in Spanish] Hello from Mexico.
- Hello from Mexico.

- Mexico loves Goofy.
- Goofy!

[in Spanish]

[girl translating]
I like Goofy because he trips.

[boy translating] What I love
about Goofy is that he's cute

and laughs in a funny way.

[imitating Goofy's laugh]

[boy translating] This is Goofy's face.

We really love Goofy!

? Oh, the world owes me a livin'

[scats]

[chuckles]

Hmm?

[laughs]

[humming]

[engine stalling]

[engine sputtering]

[horn honks]

[snoring]

[gasps, shrieks]

[growls]

[guffaws]

[man] Hey, what's going on up there?

Hey! [gurgling]

[chuckling]

[grunts]

[laughs]

[doorbell ringing]

Good morning, sir.

Hmm?

[grunts]

[yawns]

[softly snarls]

Uh-huh?!

Ow!

[gasps]

[yelling]

[purring]

- [doorbell rings]
- [muttering]

- [grunts]
- [chuckling]

[screaming]

- [grunting]
- [doorbell rings]

- [muttering]
- [laughs]

[growls]

[straining]

[doorbell ringing]

Huh?

[shouts]

[gasps]

[both shrieking]

[Goofy yells]

[gasps]

[sighs]

[shuddering]

Ow!

Ouch!

[laughs]

[both yelling]

- [crashing]
- [Goofy] Oh!

[screams]

[snarls]

[sighs]

[laughing]

[chuckling]

[snarls]

- Hey!
- [growls]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[doorbell rings]

- [crashes]
- [woman screams]

- [man] Get out of here.
- [man 2] Get on out of here.

- [doorbell rings]
- [laughs]

All right. All right.

Morning, sir...

[growls, mutters]

[laughing]

[grumbling]

[humming]

[laughing]

[chuckles]

[speaking in Japanese]

- Hi, Goofy!
- Goofy!

[in Japanese]

[girl translating]
I love how he is so nice.

Goofy!

Goofy!

We love Goofy!

We love Goofy!

[engine sputtering]

Well! [chuckles]

Here we are, Wilbur.

You feelin' OK?

- [trilling]
- That's my little palsy-walsy.

[chuckles] Are ya all set?

All right. Do your stuff.

[snoring]

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy, fishy!
Come and get it!

[fish continues splashing]

Thattaboy, Wilbur!

[chuckles]

Hey! Bring me back
a big fat one, Wilbur!

[trilling]

[snaps]

[snake charming music plays]

[music fades]

Here. Here ya are, Wilbur. Jump!

[nails scratching]

Wilbur, are you there?

- [Wilbur trilling]
- Hello? Hello?

- Hello? Hello?
- [trilling]

Wilbur, Wilbur!
Gosh! What'll I do?

Speak to me.
Speak to me, Wilbur.

[ticking]

Here, Wilbur.
Take a whiff of this.

[trilling]

You better watch your step.

They're getting wise to ya!

[bell dings]

[trilling]

[beeping]

[trills]

Wilbur!

[screams]

Hey, you!

[croaks]

- Cough up, Wilbur! Cough him up!
- [croaks]

Hey! Hey, come back here!

[gulps]

[caws]

- Now I've got you!
- [squawks]

Wilbur, come back to me! [screams]

Poor Wilbur... [sniffing]

I'll never see him again.

[sobs] Goodbye, old pal.

[honks]

[dings]

Gotta cheer up. There's lots
of grasshoppers in the weeds.

[sobbing]

[wails] But none like Wilbur!

[wails]

Wilbur!

Gosh, Wilbur.
I thought you was a goner.

[in French] Greetings from France.

- France loves Goofy.
- We love Goofy!

[girl translating] I love Goofy.

[in French] I love you, Dingo!

[girl translating] I like Goofy
because he is very funny.

[in French] Goofy!

[girl translating] We love Goofy.

[in French] I love Goofy!

[beeping]

[creaks]

[laughs]

[giggling]

[squeaking]

[thumping continues]

[Hawaiian music plays]

[box rattles]

Hmm?

- Not bad!
- [box rattles]

- [rattling]
- Are you feeling better, Miss?

[up-tempo music plays]

Hmm...

[grunts]

[growls]

[bellowing]

[gurgling]

[muffled] Something wrong here.

[screams]

[all bellowing]

- [all chattering indistinctly]
- [horn bellows]

[squawks]

[horn sounding]

[train slowing]

[animal cries]

[all chattering indistinctly]

Hey, come back! You forgot the...

- Hello from London.
- London loves Goofy!

We love Goofy.

My favourite is Goofy
because I think he's funny.

He's, like, a bit funny
and a bit silly and... yeah.

- He's sweet.
- He keeps bumping into things.

I like when he does the swimming.
[gulping]

[gulping]

[narrator] Everyone should learn
how to swim.

Perhaps no one factor
has contributed so greatly

to the current popularity of swimming

as has the sensible bathing suit.

It should not be too daring,

yet bold enough
to allow freedom of movement.

In the privacy and safety
of your own home,

and with the aid of a piano stool...

...we learn the basic strokes
of swimming.

Breathing is of first importance.

For, after all,
we must breathe, you know.

[inhaling and exhaling]

Study, carefully,
the synchronised movement

of arms and legs in the overhand
or windmill stroke,

compared with the sleek glide

- of the Australian crawl.
- [brakes screeching]

[horns wailing]

The side stroke is actually
the basic stroke

for all advanced methods
of swimming.

Note the grace and ease
of the breaststroke.

This is used by pearl divers,
lifeguards,

frogs and so forth and so on.

Should the swimmer become fatigued,

it is restful
to swim on the back or float.

However,
this has one disadvantage

in that one cannot see
where one is going.

[splashes]

[yelps]

[gurgling]

[narrator] Having mastered
the theories of swimming,

let us select some well-guarded
modern bathing resort

and try our wings, so to speak.

First of all, we must learn to dress
in the average beach locker.

[narrator] In addition to actual
swimming, it is well to remember

that as many, if not more,
healthful benefits can be derived

from relaxing on the warm, dry sand

and basking in the
health-giving rays of old Sol.

[pops]

There are still a few
who are foolish enough

to eat a hearty meal immediately
before going into the water.

To avoid the possibility
of being stricken with cramps,

one should wait
at least an hour or more.

Cramps, as you know,
are muscular contractions

which seemingly
tie the tendons into knots.

In the event that you are seized
with these muscular contortions...

...do not become panic-stricken.

Lie perfectly still.

Always remember the scientific fact

that the human body
is lighter than water.

Therefore, making it
absolutely impossible to sink.

Diving is an exact science

and should never be attempted
without expert instruction.

Therefore, with the aid of the chart,

we learn the correct form
and mechanics of diving.

Observe how the board
is set into motion

by the springy step of the approach run.

How the crouch is timed
to the oscillation of the springboard

so as to launch the diver
easily into the jack-knife,

the half gainer, the swan dive

or many others
too numerous to mention.

Now, together with the chart,

let us put these theories
into actual practice.

Only the analytical eye
of the slow-motion camera

can capture the grace
and beauty of diving.

[board reverberating]

[thumps]

[narrator] Now,
like a feather in the breeze,

glide smoothly
into that masterpiece of motion,

the graceful swan dive.

[clattering]

It is customary to have
the pool filled with water.

[narrator] Ah! Surf-bathing!

[pops]

[clattering]

[thudding]

[narrator] As the setting sun
slowly dips into the azure blue

of the western sea...

[sizzling, bubbling]

[Hawaiian music plays]

Reluctantly, we close
on this tranquil scene

with the firm conviction that
everyone should learn how to swim.

- [in Italian] Goofy.
- Hooray for Goofy!

Goofy.

[in Italian]

[girl translating] My favourite is Goofy
because he is forgetful like me.

[boy translating] He's a bungler
and he's always kicking up a row.

[girl translating] I like Goofy
very much because he's silly.

I like Goofy because he's silly like me.

[boy translating] I prefer Goofy
because he's crazy.

[narrator] "How to fish".

Successful angling no longer
depends upon fishermen's luck.

For today, fishing has become
a truly fascinating science.

[clears throat]

When to fish can be determined

by the astrological signs
of the zodiac,

whose countless stars and planets

control all the tides
of the earth's waters.

Hence, when Neptune enters
the constellation of Pisces,

or Fishes, the cosmic vibrations
create in the fish

an uncontrollable desire to bite.

When the earth enters
this celestial orbit,

it too falls under the powerful
influence of these vibrations.

Now, let us observe the effect
of this phenomena on man.

Dormant within his bosom
slumbers an inert instinct to fish.

This desire becomes acute
only through bodily contact

with the cosmic undulations
of Pisces or Fishes.

This creates a mental malady
known as "fisher's februs",

or fishing fever.

During this trance-like period,
the angler checks his fishing tackle,

and succumbs to an overwhelming desire
to test his casting skill.

A deft flick of the wrist,
whip of the pole,

the tug of the line and
the angler can easily imagine

a fighting fish in a crystal pool.

"Where to fish".

Ah, the beauty of the sunrise
o'er high, rugged mountains.

The freshness
of the early-morning dew.

[thundering]

The joy of sleeping
in the great out-of-doors.

The fisherman awakens
at the crack of dawn,

deeply impressed
with this closeness to nature.

[back popping]

Ah, to breathe deeply
of that pure, rarefied mountain air.

"The trout".

The mountain trout is an alert,
intelligent creature.

A fighter of the first water.

Rugged, strong, daring.

[snarling]

His dauntless fortitude
makes him absolutely fearless.

[gasps]

"How to approach the stream".

- Slip up quietly...
- Shh!

...between shrub or bush,
and don't let the fish see you coming.

Whoo!

Uh-oh! Now you've done it.

Once the pool is disturbed,
the fish can never be enticed to bite.

[snapping]

"Fly fishing".

The fly fisherman must know
how his tackle, and other objects,

appear to the fish.

Therefore, through the eyes of the fish,
we view the angler.

The tempting fly.

And study carefully
the reaction of the fish.

[chortling]

The lure is scientifically designed.

When dropped into the water,
the resulting optical illusion

creates a very realistic effect.

[conga music plays]

To cast the lure, select a spot

free from overhanging brush and limb.

Swing the arm with
a liquid, rhythmical motion.

Straight as an arrow,
the lure spins over the water

to land, lightly,
into that deep, purple pool.

The perfect catch! The line sings
and the poor fish is really hooked.

"Lake fishing".

Immortalised in the words
of the ancient bard. Quote:

"Upon yon lake's calm, placid breast,

the angler plies his yawl
to tempt a smile from Lady Luck,

where'er his hook may fall". Unquote.

- [fishing line whirring]
- Uh-oh! A strike, a strike!

Oh, boy, what a whopper!
Look at that pole bend!

Hear that reel sing!
Don't give him any slack!

Play him!
Keep cool. Don't get excited.

Here he comes!

There he goes!

Keep cool!
Use your head, use your head!

Keep your eye on him!
Wow! Look at him go!

Oh, boy!

Keep calm, now. Brace yourself.

Ah! We've landed him!
Watch it, now! Watch it!

Don't let him get back in the water!

Truly, no pride is so justifiable...

[gasps]...as that of a
successful fisherman.

[bubbling]

- [in German] Germany loves Goofy.
- I love Goofy.

Goofy is really great.

[in German]

[girl translating]
I think Goofy is funny.

If he is laughing, I have to laugh.

[chuckles]

[boy translating] I like Goofy's voice.

[girl translating] Goofy's cool because
he's funny and he has that goofy look.

[boy translating] I like Goofy most

because when he's slipping,
he always screams.

- [screams]
- [Goofy screams]

I think that's funny.

[narrator clears throat]
Skiing is fast becoming

the most popular of all winter sports.

And small wonder,
for there is no finer conquest

than that of a mountain

clad in its glorious winter mantle
of glittering white.

[snoring]

Skiing, pronounced "sheeing",
is a sport that appeals especially

to the rugged, wide-awake,
out-of-doors individual...

[alarm blaring]

[clears throat]
...who leaps from his bed at sun-up,

in joyous anticipation to the
thrills that lie in store for him.

The first essential
is the correct equipment.

Of primary importance
is the undergarment.

Either one or two-piece, rock-ribbed,
pre-shrunk and form-fitting.

The skis, er... "shees",
should be made of seasoned hickory,

and free from knotholes and termites.

Mmm-mmm.

The shoes should be box-toed,

large enough for at least
two pairs of socks,

yet comfortable enough
to wiggle your toes.

- Slightly.
- [squeaking]

- And now... Now...
- [snoring]

Now!

The choice of a sweater should reflect
the taste of the true sportsman.

In other words,
studied carelessness.

For, after all,
clothes do make the man.

Now, we are completely dressed.

[narrator clears throat]

With the exception of the trousers!

The trousers should be light,
snow-repellent,

with a hard, smooth finish.

They should fit snugly,

yet allow plenty of room at the hips,
shoulders and the knees.

Now we are all set
and ready to conquer the heights.

- [indistinct yodelling]
- [narrator] Ode To A Mountain. Quote:

"Oh, kingly mountain,
draped in royal raiment white,

with countless jewels
bedecked in dazzling splendour,

yet silent as the night". Unquote.

Oh, yes. If you should smell
something out of the ordinary,

don't be alarmed. It is only fresh air.

[yodelling continues]

Upon reaching the summit,

our first step
is the turn into position.

This is accomplished by the kick turn.

One: Knees and skis close together.

Two: Firm support on both poles.

Now, a decided kick of left leg
and ski, forward and high.

Three: Bring ski down parallel,

but with the point facing
in the opposite direction.

Four: Swing the other ski around

and drop it parallel to the first ski.

This is really quite simple

and can be easily mastered
by the greenest amateur.

This is indeed fortunate.
[clears throat]

How, technically, to get up.

First, get the "shees" together.

Place them parallel and across
the down slope to prevent slipping.

Then, place both poles
across your body.

Now, pull your skis under
your body and gently push up.

You are now in an upright position.

For the first attempt,
choose a gentle slope.

We start with a joyous
Gelandesprung, or hop.

And we are off!

[drumroll]

Always keep the eyes to the front,

because objects sometimes
appear with amazing suddenness.

Skiing is really quite simple
once you get the hang of it.

The most popular method
of ascent is the herringbone,

used on short climbs,
but not on too steep a slope.

The name "herringbone" is derived

from the neat, symmetrical
pattern left in the snow.

Now to change direction at high speed.

First, the jump turn.

This looks difficult.

Once learned, however,
it becomes extremely simple.

[indistinct yodelling]

The schuss, or downhill run.

It is the quickest way
to get to the bottom.

It is so named
because of its peculiar sound.

- Schuss!
- [whooshing]

- [thumps]
- [Goofy screaming]

The slalom,
or downhill racing through flags,

should only be attempted
by an expert skier.

[indistinct yodelling]

And now that thrill of thrills,

the ultimate goal
of every ambitious skier.

The ski jump!

[screaming]

Ever faster and faster,
a virtual human bullet.

Ah, the exhilaration of it.

The flight through the air

with the grace and beauty
of a bird on the wing.

Perfectly balanced, complete
master of his own destiny.

[wind gusting]

[glass shattering]

[snores]

[narrator] After a vigorous day
in the open,

the skier never has any trouble
falling to sleep.

[indistinct yodelling]

[in various languages]

- Bye!
- Goodbye.

- Bye from London.
- Bye from Milan.

- Goodbye from London.
- Bye-bye.

Goodbye.