Every Act of Life (2018) - full transcript

TERRENCE McNALLY:

I love the theater.

It reinvents itself

every night.

I still get very excited.

When the curtain goes out,

what a great adventure.

WOMAN: Well, thank you a lot

and good evening.

The half century

of Tony's has seen

on the Broadway stage,

the work of

the remarkably brilliant cast

of American playwrights,

along with Arthur Miller

to name just a few,

Eugene O'Neill,

Tennessee Williams,

William Inge, Neil Simon,

Edward Albee, August Wilson,

Wendy Wasserstein,

Tony Kushner

and Terrence McNally.

And the Tony Award

for best play goes to...

- Oh...

I can read it from here.

Terrence McNally's

Master Class.

CHRISTINE: He's gone through

so many ups and downs,

he has had wild success,

but he has also had

huge disappointments.

Shattering disappointments,

but he's still writing.

I think that's

a test of character.

Thank you.

Terrence is able

to get to the core

of the human condition

in so many different ways.

This isn't just an opera,

this is your life.

I'll see...

AUDRA: Well,

he makes you laugh,

and cry

and turn on a dime

in all different areas.

And I defy you

to name another playwright

who can do that.

Nobody loves the theater

as much as Terrence.

I can contain the world

of the Broadway Musical,

get my hands around it,

so to speak,

be the master of one

little universe.

Besides when I'm alone,

it gives me great pleasure

to sing and dance

around the apartment.

I especially like

Big Spender

from Sweet Charity,

and I'm Going Back

Where I Can Be Me

from Bells are Ringing

I could never do this

with anyone watching,

of course.

Even a boyfriend,

if I had one,

which I don't!

Theater is just so interesting,

it's not easy, but it's...

How can you get bored,

you know, working with

all these amazing people

I work with

and trying to make something

beautiful, meaningful

and put it on stage.

A big theme in my life

is mattering.

Do I matter?

I've always had

feelings of not really

approving or even liking

my own work.

I think it goes back

to the push-pull, push-pull

of my childhood.

Sometimes I miss

the smell of the Gulf

of Mexico.

The heavy, heavy humid

night air.

PETER: Terrence is

my older brother.

We lived in the same bedroom

for many years.

Corpus Christi in the 50s

was a working class town.

There was oil industry,

the port of Corpus Christi,

farming,

the naval air station.

My mom was not a happy woman.

She and my dad

has a strained relationship

for many years.

My father

was a beer distributor

for the Schlitz

brewing company.

Alcohol was a big part

of our family.

There wasn't a day

that my parents weren't drunk.

Peter and I would be

sometimes hungry

at six o'clock

and my mother and her friends

would be drinking.

We were

sort of wet blankets

on their lifestyle.

PETER: My father would

go into a rage sometimes

and he would just backhand

my brother.

I remember one night

he literally chased me

through at least six, seven

backyards of our neighbors,

and people were sitting out

on their patios having dinner,

and there's this guy

chasing his son.

And then when he got me,

he really, really hit me.

My dad was a little bit

in denial that he wasn't out

playing football

and doing the other things

that other kids did.

Here's a teenager

producing operas

in our garage,

friends would build sets,

we had neighbors

come by the house, they said,

"What's going on?"

TERRENCE: My parents

would go, usually,

once a year to New York.

They always saw Broadway shows

and left the playbills

on the counter.

My father loved South Pacific,

Kiss me, Kate, Guys and Dolls.

So, I knew what theater was

because of my parents.

I'm not gonna dedicate this

to my mother,

but I'm gonna dedicate it

to my high school

English teacher,

Maureen McIlroy.

And I grew up

in a really shitty town.

And they know I feel

that way about it, so...

I cannot imagine

my life without

Mrs. McIlroy.

She's the first person

I met who got me.

Um, got my humor,

got what I'm smart about.

Understood what I'm not

smart about.

I thought she was just

the smartest person

I had ever met.

WOMAN: "Terry, this is a piece

of work you should cherish.

It is extraordinarily good

for a high school student.

It has been interesting

working with you

these two years,

watching with pride,

your growth

and your perception

and your mastery

of the writing techniques.

It will also be with pride

that I watch your progress

next year,

and the next and the next.

At the present,

your greatest weakness is

organization of material.

Keep always the freshness

of your viewpoint,

the honesty

of your convictions.

Your integrity is your armor.

I'm glad you're planning

to write professionally.

Writing is a highly

competitive occupation,

it can be heart-breaking,

but you have already learned

that if you must write,

you simply must.

And so my hope

and my prayer

go with you

in this life you have chosen.

Mrs. McIlroy.

A+"

Towards the end of her life,

there was a revival

of Frankie and Johnny

on Broadway.

I flew her up first class

and I put her

in a Dorothy Parker Suite

at the Algonquin Hotel.

I will tell you one thing

I could never,

not in a million years,

be seriously involved

with a man who says,

"Pardon my French"

all the time.

I'm done, finished.

You got it.

Where did you pick up

an expression like that?

Out of respect for a person,

a woman in this case.

You know, the first time

you said it tonight,

I practically told you

I had a headache

and had to go home.

You see,

that's so scary to me.

That three little words,

"Pardon my French,"

could separate two people

from saying

the three little words

that make them connect.

What three little words?

I love you.

TERRENCE: And then at

the opening night, she was

the toast to the party.

It was the best thank you

I think I've ever given

to another person.

A gay guy in the '50s

in South Texas,

would be... He'd be very much

in the closet,

and when people

found out he way gay,

they'd beat

the shit out of him.

No question about that.

TERRENCE: Growing up

in South Texas,

I've had sex with

quite a few

of my male friends.

There was someone

I met at school

and we had a pretty big affair.

One day, we skipped school

to go see a 3D movie.

And then afterwards,

we went to this cave

and we're having sex

and the, uh,

one of the classes

we'd missed

had a field trip.

And they were like

a foot away from us.

And the teacher was

telling them about

why these cliffs were formed.

And I remember thinking...

We both thought,

"Boy, if we had been caught,

that would've changed

our lives."

I grew up thinking,

"The minute I graduate

high school,

I would go to New York City.

I was accepted at Columbia,

I was 17.

And I went to the theater,

ususally two

or three nights a week.

I went to see My Fair Lady,

it had just opened,

it was a huge hit.

And the people

at the box office said,

"You can't get a ticket

for a year.

But if you

really want to see it,

there's a line

that forms every night

at midnight

and they sell standing room

at 10:00 a.m. for a dollar."

So, I said, "Okay."

I went on to see,

I think, 11 times.

My senior year,

there was an announcement

in the school paper that

no one had written

the Varsity Show.

It was a big event

to go see these kids

put on a musical

every spring.

I said I'm gonna write

the Varsity Show.

They paired me with Ed Kleban

who wrote chorus line.

And I remember thinking,

"This is kinda fun!"

I left Columbia

educated, but fearful.

And I'd like to have

left feeling

educated and confident.

It's an interesting thing

about fear.

Fear is the major ingredient

to creativity.

I think

it kick-starts everything.

TERRENCE: I knew

I was going to be a writer,

and the English department

gave me an award,

and I went off

to write a novel

and I guess, just...

It wasn't good.

I knew what I wanted to do,

but I didn't sort of admit it

to myself.

It's kind of a presumptuous,

almost saying,

"I'm gonna be a playwright,

I'm gonna work in the theater."

JACK O'BRIEN:

Edward Albee said

the first time he laid eyes

on Terrence McNally,

he saw the most beautiful face

he had ever seen in his life.

TERRENCE: I met Edward Albee

at a party,

after a performance

of The Cradle Will Rock,

a Marc Blitzstein opera.

He said, "Would you like

to come up for

a nightcap?" which was

not very coded for...

you know what, and I said,

I remember saying this

so spontaneously,

"You sure your wife

or family won't mind?"

He looked at me

like I was crazy.

I just didn't think he was gay.

Edward was the first boyfriend

I ever had, but you know,

we were just drunk

all the time.

We had a lot of fun

and we had a lot of fights.

And lot of sex.

I enjoyed being with Edward

when he was writing

Virginia Woolf.

He's the first really

distinctive voice

since Tennessee Williams.

We're very proud to welcome

the most talked about

playwright in America.

Mr. Edward Albee.

TERRENCE: Edward had

a lot invested in

not being out and

you know, my first play,

I was reviewed as a gay man.

There seems to be

an underlining...

theme in your plays,

uh, concerned with marriage.

Am I right?

Yes, some people

have said that.

You know,

it's one of the things

that seem to concern,

uh, the majority of people,

almost everybody who counts

as married except few people.

Well, some people

are happy with it.

Some people are unhappy

with it.

What do you think of it?

Uh, I'm single.

--I like it. I think

it's fine.

Those times were really

difficult and frightening

for gay men and women.

People really were, mostly,

in the closet.

But Terrence

didn't have any qualms

about who he was.

That was a rare thing then.

Shortly after

I graduated Columbia,

I had this opportunity

to work at Actors Studio

as a stage manager.

And after a while,

Molly Kazan said,

"Would you be interested

in traveling around the world

for a year

with John Steinbeck?"

And I said,

"Oh, like the writer?"

And she said,

"It is the writer."

So, I met John Steinbeck

and his wife, Elaine

and their two sons

and they said,

"We've interviewed

a lot of professional tutors,

and we were trying

to find somebody

we feel more compatible with.

And that's how

we began the trip.

Edward and I were still

officially a couple,

but that says something

about our relationship,

that I had this opportunity

and I took it.

John was a very famous writer.

At that point he was certainly

known everywhere we went.

His books had been translated

into every language.

John and Elaine both

had an appetite,

enthusiasm for art,

for history,

for the best people

they can make of themselves.

And that was

very inspiring to me.

John said, "Let me give you

one piece of advice

if you wanna be a writer."

And I said, "Yeah, what is it?"

And he said, "Don't write

for the theater."

It will break your heart.

My first play has all passages

that are very Albee influence.

I said, "Everyone was writing

plays at that time."

Speaking in your own voice,

realizing who you are,

is a complicated process.

PAUL: I met Terrence

when we did

And Things That Go Bump

in the Night

It's this exploration of

a dysfunctional

American family,

and their inability

to accept one another.

It's the first Broadway play

with a positive, confident,

openly gay character.

I made a booking

with the Shubert's

and before you know it,

people start buying tickets.

You know, there's nothing

more exciting on Broadway

to have a show that's sold out

on the previews.

And then opening night came,

and boy, the critics

just did not embrace it.

And that was a shock.

- I thought, "This is...

- not a good way

to begin my life

in the theater."

MAN: "Dear Ter,

my heart is sick today.

There's no reason

to anticipate or to expect

fairness from critics.

But I don't think

they have the right

of malicious mischief.

Your play is false of course.

So is King Lear.

Elaine says that

one should not fight back.

I myself think a punch

in the nose is healthier.

There is no question about

what you should do.

You should go

immediately to work.

Only the amateur

can hide by pretending

he didn't mean it.

But you did mean it.

And you stirred up

the wasp's nest.

As for the play's failing,

remember the old Texas saying,

'Who ain't been throwed,

ain't road.'

I can't think of anything

to say, but I'm very sad.

Yours John."

Edward was very supportive

of next generation

of playwrights.

He wasn't, I didn't feel,

supportive of me

as his partner.

I found him withholding

remote, ungenerous.

As much as I loved him,

he also was those things.

I'm glad that we were

able to become friends again

'cause we had a very unhappy,

angry, bitter break-up.

I mean, I left him

and he was not...

Not amused.

This is...

that old...

I don't wanna see it.

I don't wanna see it.

I loved it.

-What?

-Who's that from?

It's a Richard Avedon photo,

taken...

when Things That

Go Bump in the Night

opened.

Look how young you look.

Thanks.

It's adorable.

I sort of love,

but hate this picture

and you'll know why.

-'Cause I'm smoking.

-Correct.

TERRENCE:

Well, that was my apartment.

Look what you got

for $45.

-And it evokes so much.

-TERRENCE: Booze.

-Cigarettes.

-It's just...

What we know now.

And this is outside

the Cherry Lane theater.

Yeah, I love this photo.

TERRENCE: A long time ago.

It's all a lot

of young playwrights.

That's Israel Horovitz,

Leonard Melfi, Jules Feiffer,

Robert Patrick,

me, Jack Larson

and Lanford Wilson.

- I think I'm next to you.

-Look at my hair.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

All gone.

TERRENCE: My second partner

was also

a huge drinker,

Robert Drivas, the actor.

It's really odd...

TERRENCE:

Edward had been kind of

inscrutable person,

but Bobby was

quite the opposite.

Every feeling he had

was on the table.

I don't give up that easily.

That's right you don't.

Like you,

I'd have made it work or

smashed it.

I stopped smashing things

a long time ago.

TERRENCE: It was

very alcoholic relationship,

very tempestuous.

We lived on Bleecker

and Tenth Street

and we had fights

you could've heard

on 42nd street.

Bobby was a beautiful,

physically beautiful man

and very bright

and a lot of fun.

Completely charming.

And usually got his way.

TERRENCE: The biggest tension

always in our relationship

is that Bobby

did not wanna live together.

Even though we spent

every night at his apartment,

but he thought if the world

knew he was gay,

it may be the end

of his career.

When people aren't willing

to look at the truth

about who they are,

I think it's gonna corrode

their souls, their hearts.

He started so early

to show Americans

who gay people are,

that we have

the same hopes, dreams,

and struggles

as everyone else.

Terrence did it

before anyone else.

He did it better than

anyone else.

I love Terrence McNally.

Terrence McNally is one

of the first

people that I came across

as a gay man,

who was writing

about gay people.

We stand on his shoulders.

I just had about

16 flights of steps.

WOMAN: Whoa.

-I get to flirt

with you all day.

-Yeah, yeah.

- I was looking forward to it.

MICAH STOCK: I feel so lucky

to know Terrence

as a person and worked

with him on two of his plays.

People see his plays

and they wanna live

more fully.

And they wanna live

more truthfully.

And they wanna live

more joyfully.

It changed the way

I go about the world.

Okay, so this is a very cold

reading of Noon

by Terrence McNally.

He wrote this in 1968.

BILLY: What I found interesting

was it transported me

to a time, you know, where

Terrence is really

cutting-edge.

-SHERYL: Yeah.

-And today, we forget that

because we've just

come so far, but, like,

when you think about

the character of Kerry,

and he's coming in and he's gay,

-and he's out.

-SHERYL: With no shame.

With no shame!

SHERYL: Because

Terrence writes plays

which have nothing to do

with being gay,

but everything to do

with not being accepted.

"Kerry has undone Asher's belt.

Unzipped his fly,

Asher's pants

drop to his knees."

"You can't get

your pants off

with you shoes on, dummy."

"I don't want my pants off."

"For Chrissake.

Just wanna see you

in your shorts."

"I know, but..."

-"Guys are guys."

-"Uh-huh."

BILLY: The sexuality of Noon,

like, naughtiness of it,

it was really sort of pushing

norms and ideologies

to the breaking point.

-"What do you do?"

-"I'm a writer."

- "Figures."

-"Huh?"

"What else do you do?"

"What else?"

"God, you're exasperating.

In bed.

What do you do in bed?"

One of the fundamental

ideas that Terrence

has addressed is

sexuality is sexuality.

Whether it's heterosexual

or homosexual,

we're all human.

We all have the same needs

and desires.

You know, we all yearn

the same way.

TERRENCE: In 60s, there was

a lot to write about

the Civil Rights Movement,

the war in Vietnam.

My goal as a writer

became to write

in my own voice

and to find

a kind of simplicity

that was about the character,

and not about me.

My second play which was

successful was called Next,

which I wrote

for a friend James Coco,

who I thought

was this great actor

and I just didn't know why

he wasn't more famous.

NATHAN LANE: Jimmy Coco

used to complain and say,

"I'll never be a star.

I'll just be a character actor

and maybe one day

I do Death of a Salesman

in a regional theater

and that'll be it."

And Terrence said,

"I'll write you a play."

And then he wrote Next.

The one-act play

about the fat middle-aged

man who gets drafted.

Elaine May directed it.

And it was

a big success Off-Broadway

and made Jimmy a star.

I learned so much

working with Elaine

'cause I learned nothing

from my first play.

I wanted the audience

to understand my characters.

They might be troubled

by them.

Wanna think about them

a little longer.

But if the audience says,

"I just don't get it",

I feel I have failed.

My life in the theater

began in New York City

with Terrence McNally.

One of the first auditions

I ever went on was

for Tommy Flowers.

So, I showed up

and they said,

"No pointman, no agent,

no audition."

Murray Abraham showed up

in shorts and sandals.

And the stage manager said,

"There's a guy out front,

he looks a little crazy to me.

And he said

he's gonna stay and wait."

MURRAY: I was there

for hours and hours.

No big deal.

It was important.

And I had this

wonderful attitude,

I have to admit.

We saw the last audition,

and the stage manager said,

"That's it.

Oh, by the way,

I should warn you,

that actor is still out there

sitting on the floor."

The guy finally comes out

and he says,

"All right, come in.

Give it a shot."

TERRENCE: He'd read one line.

One line, we go,

"Where have you been?

Yes, you have the part."

There's a sense of competition

and a little bit of a gladiator

in all the great actors.

I think.

These actors bring

a humanity, a life,

a joy, a mystery,

so much stuff that's not

on those flat pages.

I'm not deprecating

or minimizing my own work,

but theater, is to me,

collaboration.

It's hearing music

you never dreamed of.

DORIS ROBERTS:

Terrence wrote Bad Habits

for me

and I'm eternally grateful

because he gave me a career.

I wrote Bad Habits,

got a wonderful cast

of actors,

many of whom went on

to become very famous,

such as, Doris.

We did the play

at Manhattan Theater Club

and the set was

Samsonite folding chairs,

the lighting cues were

overhead fluorescent lights

which I personally operated.

That play went really well.

Me moved it to Off-Broadway.

That same production

with those same eight actors

moved to Broadway

to the Booth Theater.

It all happened within a year.

That was just bang, bang, bang.

It was great.

NARRATOR: Now let's start

at the beginning

and I'll try to keep it

in layman's terms.

Everything in life

is bad for you.

The air, the sun,

the force of gravity,

butter, eggs, the cigarette.

Right now, this very moment,

as I speak these words,

you're ten seconds

closer to death

than when I started.

Have I made my point?

Now, how would an ice-cold,

extra dry, straight up

Gordon's gin martini

grab you?

TERRENCE: The first apartment

I ever bought or owned was

some symbol of making it

in New York.

My father came in

and looked around

and says,

"I would've painted it

in much different color."

There were times he did

acknowledge my work.

I also was made to feel

I wasn't good enough,

I didn't measure up.

And then you finally

figure out,

"Wait, I've gotta be who I am.

Not letting other people decide

what a good play

or a good son is."

Did you get yourself something?

I just got a little salad

'cause I'm not

doing bread, right?

-'Cause you're fat.

I know.

-I'm fat, so...

TERRENCE: Don Roos,

who I consider my best friend,

he said my parents were

a little frightened of me.

When did you tell her

that you were gay?

-Did you have that conversation?

-Not really, no.

-Not really.

-DON: But you had to have

introduced somebody.

I think it was the last time

my father tried to get me

to buy life insurance.

I said, "Dad, I'm gay,

you know that.

"Edward and I...

This is our bedroom."

There was a bed.

-Straight men do not sleep

in same bed together.

-DON: How was he?

-What?

-DON: How did he take it?

"Just stay in New York

with your, you know..."

-DON: Your lifestyle.

-Yeah.

They were the original

"Don't ask, don't tell,

we'll all get along fine."

There's a difference between

not knowing it

and not wanting you

to know it.

Yeah.

So... There are several

straight men

-who don't know

they're really gay.

-Mmm-hmm.

Starting with my father,

you were gonna suggest that.

Yes, so I've always

wondered about him.

TERRENCE: The need,

the passion to connect

was everything.

You could say

all theater people

were building

surrogate families.

If I had a wish,

it would be that

I was a part of a company

and all we did was

put on plays.

None of us wanted

to make movies,

none of us want

to star in television series,

none of us want

to be in shows

by anybody else.

This was our company.

We were the, you know,

the Globe Theater.

Terrence can get

very, very hurt,

uh, by actors

not being faithful.

He gets huge crushes

on actors,

who have their own agendas

and schedules

and commitments.

He's intense. He's not unlike

some of these characters.

Of course,

I would've been wonderful

in a part that was written

for me.

Thank God for my series.

As much as he loves you,

there's a little possessiveness

about that love.

The egos in this business.

One of the things that

I love about Terrence

and that also terrifies me

is that he's an absolute

stickler for punctuation

and for the way his lines

are meant to be read

and what he's hearing

when he writes it.

And I have actually

been present not once

but several times

when he has gathered

the company together,

the actors

to lecture them about

what his punctuation means.

I don't like actors who add

uhs, ahs, I mean, you knows,

sighs, sobs, gurgles.

I know what a comma means,

I know what a semicolon means.

I know what a dash means.

LYNN AHERNS: He writes exactly

what he wants on the page,

and will stand up for it.

RITA MORENO:

For at least a couple of years

before the Ritz,

nothing was happening for me

in terms of my career.

I ran into James Coco

on the street

who asked me if I had received

a script called The Tubs,

which eventually

became The Ritz.

And I said, "The what?"

He said,

"Terrence McNally wrote

this part for you

in a play

about gay Turkish baths."

"No rain," he tells me.

"No rain", he says.

No rain.

Fucking weatherman.

In this wild farce

full of crazy people,

the most sane person

was my character,

who was completely,

outrageously gay.

And I think this was why

the play was written.

Terrence was way ahead

of his time.

As strange as it may seem,

no one is going to attack you.

Someone already has.

Eh, beginner's luck.

The Ritz was pretty shocking.

Really, and...

I think that everybody

who saw it

was sort of taken aback.

RITA: When the Ritz opened

in Washington, D.C.,

we got murdered.

We got murdered,

just lacerated.

They hated it,

they didn't think

it was funny.

They thought I was horrible.

And the winner...

RITA: When we got to New York,

everybody loved it.

...is Rita Moreno

of The Ritz.

RITA: Getting the Tony

was the thrill of my life.

Thank you.

Yeah.

TERRENCE: I've been involved

with two men,

and when it was

convenient to them,

I was invisible.

Edward was never proud

to say, "This is my partner."

And Bobby didn't know me

at a movie premiere

or a business situation.

Bobby wanted to be successful

more than he wanted anything.

And I wanted to be in love

more than I want to be

a successful playwright.

I want to be

in a good relationship.

Terrence was in London

doing a movie version

of the Ritz which

was being directed

by Richard Lester.

A friend of mine who worked

for William Morris

called me.

He said "I'd love it if

you could go to an opera

with him one night."

And I said, "Sure."

I wasn't expecting

anything romantic.

The door opened

and there was Terrence McNally.

TERRENCE: We sort of

got together right away

and then he ended up

coming to New York.

And I'm talking about kindness,

I mean, every penny

of my tuition...

I went to Columbia.

Got my Masters in Columbia.

Terrence paid for it.

When Dominic and I met,

I was drinking

my most heavily.

I was just drunk

all the time

and Dominic

doesn't drink at all.

PETER: Terry told me,

"Do you know they used to think

I was a good playwright?

And I convinced myself

I was a good playwright."

He says, "One time I woke up,

and I hadn't done any work

in 18 months.

But I was drinking

a quarter Scotch a day.

When I met him in 1982,

he kind of run out of steam.

Run out of friends

in New York,

I think we were upset

with him about his drinking,

TERRENCE: I was

at a birthday party

for Stephen Sondheim,

and I was drunk as usual,

and I spilled my drink

on Lauren Bacall

and she tore me a new one.

A few minutes later,

Angela Lansbury

came up to me and said,

"Terrence, can I talk

to you a second?"

It was a hell of a thing

to take upon myself,

but I had had

so much experience

with my own children

being decimated

by drugs and booze.

And I saw, here's this

brilliant, beautiful

young man...

His life is just going to

go down the drain

unless he takes charge

of himself.

He's the only person

I've ever done this to.

I said to him,

"Why are you

destroying yourself?

You're a brilliant writer.

Listen. Listen to what

I'm saying.

Stop drinking."

She was so gentle

and loving about it,

as opposed to Lauren Bacall

who was angry,

and I'm gonna send you

the bill from the dry cleaner.

It made me feel like a bad boy.

Angela Lansbury

made me feel like

someone cared about me.

Dominic was really

the steadying influence

in my life.

And then one day,

he just sort of burst

into tears.

And he said, "I'm in love

with someone else,

I've been having an affair."

I told him I love him

and I can't

not be with him.

I have to be with him.

I was shocked.

I was angry.

I felt stupid.

I felt really stupid.

How could I have

not been aware

of the person

you're sleeping with

every night

that they're in love

with someone else?

DON: Terrence was broke.

He had just

broken up with Dominic.

He was very newly sober

and he had kinda crashed

and burned

with the play

Broadway, Broadway

which didn't come

to New York,

and it was a big,

big career disappointment.

He had kinda run into a wall.

But he said, "It's okay,

because I've got a great idea

for a brand-new play."

And I said, "Okay,

what is it about?"

He goes, "It's about

a short-order cook

and a waitress

and their one night together."

And I thought to myself,

"That's a terrible idea.

Oh, my God."

I think with Frankie and Johnny

I wanted to make figures

out of ordinary people.

I was 40,

not in a relationship,

and I went

to the video rental place

and there was a big line,

and I realized all these people

are gonna spend

the weekend alone

in their apartment

eating junk food,

watching ten movies.

And I said, you know,

"I'm not the only one

in the world

who feels lonely."

That's where I got the idea

for Frankie and Johnny.

And then of course,

there's that scary thing,

am I gonna be

able to write sober?

"I wanna kill myself sometimes

"when I think that

I'm the only person

in the world.

"And that part of me

that feels that way,

"is trapped inside this body

"that only bumps into

other bodies

"without ever connecting

to the only other person

in the world

"trapped inside of them.

"We have to connect.

"We just have to."

It's like, you know,

the plant that

insists on finding the light

through the cracks

in the side walk, you know.

People will search

for that connection.

You still want a sandwich

before you go?

Yeah, I still want a sandwich.

Then you're going.

You're not staying over.

Well, we'll cross that bridge

when we get there.

There is no bridge to cross.

What are you scared of?

I'm not scared.

-I'm not scared of...

-Yes, you are.

Well, not like

in a horror movie.

I think you're gonna

pull out a knife

and stab me

if that's what

you're talking about.

-Can we change the subject?

-What do you mean?

Come on, you're gonna

stand there and tell me

that you're not weird?

Of course, I'm weird.

There's whole another side

of you I never saw before.

Well, what did you think?

All I ever did was cook?

There's a whole other side

of you I never saw

you doing it either.

Well, that's because

it's probably your

first time with

a passionate

and imaginative lover.

MURRAY: At last,

I get to see you

and talk to you.

I know, to think

that we both sat

and memorized these lines

we worked on

and then dealt with blocking

and had opening nights in,

you know...

Of the same stuff.

Two very different people,

different times in our lives,

and you know,

different productions.

It's all Terrence.

-Did you ever feel like...

-He got it for me.

Did you think you were

attractive growing up?

-I never thought I was

attractive.

-No.

No feeling like it.

-Kinda like the outsider

and not quite knowing it.

-Oh, yeah.

How to connect

and all that stuff.

Yeah, what a drag,

and what a nice

discovery later

-to find that

I'm terrifically attractive.

-Yes.

Yes, absolutely.

I'm working on that.

-Better late than never.

-Oh, my God.

-Absolutely.

-How do you feel about

taking your clothes off?

Was that the first time

you did it?

Yeah. It was...

I was nervous as hell.

The nakedness

in Frankie and Johnny

isn't just physical.

I mean, they,

clearly, on some level,

want to connect,

want to have someone

see their insides.

Though there's so much fear

attached to that as well.

And I think that's

what the play is about.

He really... He can write.

Yeah.

TERRENCE:

I've never used nudity

in the theater

for a salacious reason.

I think it's meaningful

and natural.

I go to the theater to see

characters strip themselves

of their secrets.

They let us see

into their hearts.

In 1985,

Bobby Drivas came to my house

and he looked very ill.

He was very thin

and very, very weak.

It wasn't like

he turned the page

and said, "AIDS."

There wasn't that

defining moment,

a more defining moment

was when a friend of yours

was sick.

And you saw it firsthand.

I had several friends,

including Bobby Drivas,

who died in such solitude

'cause they're so ashamed

of having AIDS or being gay.

That made me more militant

than ever about being out.

All lovers young...

All lovers must

consign to thee

and come to dust.

You know

what's really terrible?

I can't think of anything

terrific to say.

In my own words I mean.

And I'm the writer in the

family.

Goodbye.

I love you.

My first show on Broadway

was in 1958.

I was seven.

I counted on Terrence

when they needed kids

at the Actors Studio.

I've always characterized

Terrence's characters

as intensely vulnerable,

but fierce

in their appetites,

in their expression

of their needs,

and their angers,

their feelings,

their prejudices.

I think Andre prefers

keeping me in the dark.

I doubt that.

He never tells me

anything important.

Do you ever ask him

anything important?

I won't get a straight answer

if I did.

Sorry.

Why don't you try him?

Maybe there's some things

I'd just as soon not know.

To my mother's dying day,

I don't think

she really understood

my brother.

She would always be

the life of the party

in New York,

but when Terry would come home

to Corpus Christi,

he was kinda sequestered

or cloistered

because she didn't want

her friends to realize

that he might be a gay man.

The great thing

about Terrence is that he's

really supportive of the new...

When I was

a young playwright,

he came to my first play.

I remember just not knowing

anything and Terrence was

extremely generous

and encouraging.

He made it easy to feel

that you were a peer.

I still try and remember

that lesson to this day.

A lot of theater people

are lazy.

They don't go to enough plays.

They don't know

who the new talents...

talent is.

Why live in New York City

and not take advantage

of everything that's out there?

I'd have no career

if it wasn't for

Terrence McNally.

When it comes to

Terrence McNally tributes,

I'm pretty much on speed dial

for the Tristate area.

It's not surprising.

We have a unique relationship

in the American theater

that began with

The Lisbon Traviata

back in 1989, right up to

last season's Broadway revival

of It's Only a Play.

Please understand that after,

even after all these years,

it's not hard to find

nice things to say

about Terrence McNally.

He's a brilliant writer

and a wonderful man.

Although...

Yes, he's nice.

But he's not that nice.

I'm not gonna pull any punches.

He has done hard time

in the slammer.

Obviously,

he has killed people.

When I wrote this shit,

I didn't know what it would be

for the opera society.

Terrence and I met around 1987

at Manhattan Theater Club.

They were doing

Frankie and Johnny

in a smaller theater.

And I was doing a play

on the main stage.

It was not going very well.

I went and sat outside

in the lobby

and I think I had my head

in my hands.

And Terrence saw me

and came up to me

and introduced himself

and said,

"Hi, I'm Terrence McNally."

Remember I saw you

in the lobby of the theater?

That's right.

-And you were upset

with a play you were in?

-Yes.

I said, "I'll write

a play for you one day.

and then when

we couldn't cast

Lisbon Traviata,

I said, "Let's bring in

Nathan Lane."

They all said,

"Oh, he's too young.

He's great, but he's 20 years

too young for the role."

I said, "I don't care."

and then you read three words,

and you know, I remember

you said, "Should I stop?"

And I was like, "No, go on."

And you read

the entire phone call

which was, what,

fifteen-minute tour de force.

You know, God,

don't know how many plays

we've done since.

And he was really

the first person who said,

"You know, you're more than

just funny.

You're an actor."

TERRENCE: The Lisbon Traviata

was about my obsession

with Maria Callas operas

and a sense of betrayal.

I wanted to write a play

in which a man,

rather than lose

the man he loved,

killed him, stabbed him.

NATHAN: It was

incredibly witty and brave

you know, like Beckett.

It's funny and suddenly,

life is not so funny.

There was one performance

when suddenly, a woman

stood up and shouted

from the balcony,

"Where's the plot?

I want some plot!"

And stormed out of the theater.

And Nathan said,

"Well, Stick around and you'll

see."

You know,

I remember the audition

for Lisbon Traviata.

Joey said, "I hate to ask you

to do this,

but will you take

your shirt off?"

'Cause of course it had to be

a show of naked.

And I said, "Yeah, sure."

-You made your debut

in New York stark naked.

-In New York City.

-Great lines. Great jokes.

-You were so wonderful in it

and you weren't just

eye candy in the play

by any means, you know.

You're kind of the hero,

I mean, there's another way

of living.

-Yeah. Uncomplicated.

-You and Mike represented...

It's wonderful to be here

to give an award tonight

to my very close friend,

Terrence McNally

because Lips Together

is a wonderful play,

and also because

Terrence has more anxiety

about writing a play

than any writer I know.

Terrence, before sitting down

to write a play,

does all his mail,

pays all his bills,

tries to listen to every CD

in his house

that he hasn't listened to,

which is quite a bit to do.

He then works up his anxiety

and begins thinking,

"Lynne Meadow hates me,

the William Morris Agency

hates me,

my mother, Dot, from Texas

hates me,

Nathan Lane hates me.

What am I going to do?"

And then at around

4:00 the morning,

sweating, he begins

writing the play.

And inevitably, these plays

are always wonderful.

So, I'm very happy to give you

this award tonight, Terrence.

TERRENCE: Wendy was a student

at Yale when I was

a playwright in residence.

And I thought she was

a very funny, talented writer.

I mean,

everybody adored Wendy.

Just witty, smart.

What was not to like?

She came to New York

and pretty quickly,

she was in the vanguard

of the next generation

of playwrights.

We became just very

good friends, very close.

She was someone I could call

at any hour of the day,

laughing, talking, gossiping.

PETER: I knew Terry and Wendy

were friends.

But one time, I guess

I thought we were out of sight,

and she was getting a cab

out in front

of Terry's apartment.

And he gives her

the biggest, romantic kiss.

And I was just like, "Wow.

He's got a girlfriend."

I had seen...

the cost of being gay

in the '80s

and I was, like, suspicious.

"Oh, you just not

wanna be gay right now

because it's not

the greatest time?"

but he did not see it that way.

He truly had a love affair

with Wendy.

TERRENCE: Some people

aren't meant

to be together, I guess,

but it took few years

to figure that out.

It ended, but I'm glad

we've stayed great friends.

Wendy was good

at keeping secrets.

People didn't even know

that she was not well.

Her death was...

It was just a shock

to people.

It happens not only

when she was young,

but it happened so suddenly.

It's just a terrible loss

of a vital, wonderful

human being.

CHRISTINE: It was

the middle of winter,

so New York was so bleak

and as usual,

I was struggling financially.

I heard from Lynne Meadow

that Terrence wanted

to write a play for

four of his favorite actors,

one of whom

was me.

Lips Together was about

people living in denial

about cancer and infidelity

and middle age

and paranoia about AIDS.

They all sort of agreed

to do a play that I hadn't

really written yet.

We were all much younger

and the world

was a different place.

I periodically called

Manhattan Theater clients,

"How's Terrence doing

with that play?"

"He's still working on it."

Waiting and waiting.

Finally, I got the call.

So, I got the script.

Got back on the Subway,

started to read it.

Got home, I said to my wife,

"This is terrible.

This is terrible,

I can't do this."

She said, "You have to do it.

He wrote it for you."

Frankly, it was a bloodbath.

It was very raunchy

and I felt couldn't be played

on the stage.

We did the first reading.

And both Christine and Nathan

got very angry

because they had been

promised re-writes.

At one point, Tony threw

the script across the room.

And said,

"This will never work!"

It was the first time

in my career I ever did this.

I actually spoke up,

and very honestly to Terrence.

I said, "You've put us

in a position

where I don't know

if we'll be able to

reach that place

where the play will be ready."

And it was scary.

I just left to go

to the Ladies' Room

and Terrence saw me in the hall

and he said,

"Thank you for that.

I hear what you have to say.

I heard what you had to say.

Thank you so much."

And I'll never forget that

as long as I live.

And it's like,

he just went home and boom!

It sprang out of his head.

Right on to the paper.

NATHAN: It was just beautiful.

One minute,

people are laughing

and the next minute,

it's like, "Oh, wait a minute."

And it leads into

my favorite thing

that Christine says to me,

And he says,

"I need to know the truth."

And she says, "The truth,

fuck the truth."

The truth has hurt more people

than all the lies

that were ever told.

JOHN KANDER: The idea of

telling stories by singing,

I think that's something

Terrence and I shared

from when we met each other.

Fred and I were

working with another writer

for The Rink

and it just wasn't happening,

but when Terrence

came on board,

the piece took a shift.

And we found ourselves working

in a wonderfully

smooth, harmonious

interesting way.

She does it just like

temporary commercial.

My new musical film Rink.

It's a story of a mother.

And a story of a daughter

and a roller rink

they call home.

The Rink.

When we get a free minute,

we'll do the real commercial.

-With sets and singing.

-Costumes and skating.

- And lots of...

I'm waiting

for my other...

The rink was

an extraordinary experience

for me.

I remember seeing Terrence

in the back of the room,

on his typewriter,

diligently changing things.

That's how the show

becomes what it is.

The words, the music,

the steps.

All the pieces have to fit.

I think The Rink is

one of the best pieces,

one of the best things

that we ever wrote.

CHITA: We loved the show.

We loved doing it

every night.

The audiences loved it.

The critics said

it was pretty startling.

Terrible things.

JOHN: Our reaction

to the critics

was bewildering.

Bewilderment.

I don't think I ever

really quite got over that.

We're so obsessed with hits

'cause no one likes a hit

more than me.

But they don't happen

that often. It's rare.

I think our defense

is just doing the very best

we can.

And doing the piece

we really love.

And screw it, otherwise.

What are you

gonna do?

So close your eyes

And you can become a star

Why must you stay

Where you are

Freddie and John

called me about

Kiss of the Spider Woman.

Boy, what a phenomenal show.

It was written so

magnificently.

The nicest thing

about being happyy,

you think you'll

never be unhappyy...

again.

If there was a musical moment,

Terrence would usually

write it in prose.

The most gorgeous prose

you ever read.

And we would

steal shamelessly

lines and attitudes

from those moments.

He seemed perfectly content

with that.

TERRENCE: The first time

I won a Tony

was the first time

I had been nominated

was Kiss of the Spider Woman.

Winning awards does not change

the struggle to be

an authentic person.

Who you were

is still who you are

when you get home.

You still have to face

a blank screen

and start a new play.

Thank you very much.

This means a lot to someone

who grew up dancing around

the house

to his parents'

Broadway cast albums.

Other guys were collecting

baseball cards,

I was doing Too Darn Hot.

TERRENCE:

Until I went to India,

I think I had always

experienced life

as the conflict between

regret for the past

and sort of a dread

of the future.

The minute I got off the plane,

I felt very small,

but at the same time

I found that very enlarging.

I had never heard

of the god Ganesha

until I went to India.

I loved Ganesha right away

because he was humble

and he believes

in impossible things.

Looks just like me,

doesn't he?

WOMAN: I am a god.

My name is Ganesha.

I'm also called Vigneshwara.

The queller of obstacles.

To this day, before any venture

is undertaken, it is Ganesha

who is invoked

and whose blessings are sought.

Once asked, always granted.

I'm a good god.

Cheerful, giving,

often smiling,

seldom sad.

I am everywhere.

I'm in your mind,

in the thoughts you think,

in your heart.

whether full

or broken, in your face,

and in the very air

you breathe.

Inhale.

C'est moi, Ganesha.

Exhale.

Yo soy, Ganesha . Ich bin.

Io sono, toujours, Ganesha.

I am in what you eat

and evacuate.

I am sunlight, moonlight,

dawn and dusk.

I am stool, I am your kiss,

I am your cancer,

I am the smallest insect

that crawls across

your picnic basket

towards your potato salad.

I am in your hand

that squashes it.

I am everywhere.

I am happy.

I am Ganesha.

TERRENCE: I met Gary at a play

by Robbie Bates.

directed by Joe Mantello.

And the person

sitting next to me said,

"I really enjoyed this."

And he started

talking about it.

And that's how

it sort of began.

Gary was an angel.

He was one of the great people.

He had a kind of

genuine, genuine goodness

about him.

TERRENCE: That first night

I guess, he said,

"I'm HIV positive."

It was very scary,

but I said, "Okay, I think

I can deal with that."

And this was before

people started living

long, successful healthy lives.

I think you've come to look

more and more

like each other over the years.

You haven't known us that long.

Oh, it's not what he's saying.

I think that you love

each other very much.

I think you will stick it out.

Whatever, I think

right now, you're holding hands

that when Perry asked

to take his hand

from yours, Arthur,

to steer in traffic,

he puts it back in yours

as soon as he can.

I think this is how

I always drive,

I think this is how

you go through life.

When I first read

Love! Valor! Compassion!

I knew that Terrence

had gone to now

a completely new level.

But I believed in the play

from the beginning.

But I knew that

we needed a strong

director to corral it.

Terrence changed my life

in so many profound ways.

I had been watching his work

for a couple of years

at the Director's Lab

at Circle Rep.

And I kept being impressed

by the work

of this young guy

called Joe Mantello.

JOE: There were

a lot of other directors

that they were meeting with,

who had a lot more

experience

and would have been a safer,

probably wiser choice.

So I sorta had to sell him.

And they said,

"No, we insist

you send the play

to three other

Tony award-winning directors.

But the only one

who experienced the play

as I wished it

to be experienced

in the theater

by an audience

was Joe.

He's the person who said,

"You should direct an opera."

He made it a condition

of the sale of the play

Love! Valor!

that I direct the film.

He gave me my first musical.

Terrence sort of makes me weep

'cause he's got that thing

that goes into you.

That comes from his soul

and kinda goes into yours.

It's very...

...powerful.

What's your secret?

The secret

of unconditional love?

My brother smiled warmly

and shook his head,

suggesting he didn't know,

dear spectators.

And just then,

a tear started to fall

from the corner of one eye.

This tear told me

my brother knew something

of the pain I felt.

But never, ever, not once

being loved.

The word was out

that Terrence had written

this beautiful play.

This big play about

gay guys, friendship,

family, love, loss.

I hadn't worked much

in New York.

I'd maybe had done

a couple of

off-Broadway plays.

And in some ways,

I was scared

at admitting to myself

how badly I wanted

to get that part.

John Glover,

the wonderful actor,

has been in a lot of my plays.

Used to call that period

in the spring "Love, Valor,

Competition."

When I read the script of

Love! Valor! Compassion!

I don't remember

how many pages it was,

I just remember

it was like this thick.

It was a real puzzle

to figure out.

A lot of the process was about

editing the script.

And whittling it down from this

wonderful, huge evening

to what it is now.

TERRENCE: Sometimes,

I'm the last one to understand

what I've written.

We find the play together

in the rehearsal room.

NATHAN: At one point,

a week or so

before we were

about to go into the theater,

Terrence said, "I feel

something is missing

for your character

in the third act."

I said, "Maybe it's

nothing more than...

Life isn't like

a musical comedy."

There's no guaranteed

happy ending.

He said, "Okay."

And then he went away.

And then Joe called me

one morning and said,

"Well, he has written

this scene

that's extraordinary."

And it just knocked

our socks off.

And I remember Nathan

like it was yesterday,

the first time he read it,

he killed it.

Musicals don't all

have happy endings

either.

Yes, they do.

That's why I like them.

Even the sad ones,

the orchestra plays,

the characters die,

the audience cries,

the curtain falls,

the actors get up

off the floor,

the audience

puts on their coats,

and everybody goes home

feeling better.

It's a happy ending, Perry.

Once, just once,

I wanna see a Westside Story

where Tony really gets it.

Where they all die,

the Sharks and the Jets

and Maria,

while we're at it,

Officer Krupke...

What's he doing

sneaking out of the theater?

Get back here and die

with everybody else,

you son of a bitch!

Or The King and I

where Yul Brynner,

doesn't get up

from that little Siamese bed

for a curtain call.

I wanna see a Sound of Music,

where the entire Von Trapp

family dies...

...in an authentic

Alpine avalanche.

A Kiss Me, Kate

where she's got a big

cold sore on her mouth.

A Funny Thing Happened

on the Way to the Forum

where the only thing

that happens is nothing

and it's not funny

and they all die waiting.

Waiting... Waiting for what?

Waiting for nothing,

like everyone I know

and care about is,

including me.

That's the musical

I want to see, Perry,

but they don't write musicals

like that anymore.

In the meantime,

gangway, world,

get off my runway.

It's side-splittingly funny.

It's angry

and it's devastatingly sad.

All at the same time.

The only person who ever

would be angry at me

for putting her in a play

was my mother.

And she said it after every

play of mine she saw,

including Master Class,

"How you could

put me up on the stage

like that?"

I said, "Mom, I really

don't think anyone

will ever confuse you

with Maria Callas.

When I was still

in high school,

I fell madly in love

with the voice of

Maria Callas.

And then 30 years later,

I was teaching

play writing in Juilliard

and I saw a sign that said

Master Class

Lantin Prize, 4:00 p.m."

I thought that's

gonna be a play.

Master Class, Maria Callas.

And I went on to do the rest.

Oh, I'm on camera.

It's Terrence McNally

speaking to you

from 45th Street.

AUDRA: I wasn't an actress

before Master Class.

Confronting the hurricane

that is Zoe Caldwell,

on stage, that's a force.

And you either get up there

and you know,

become a hurricane yourself

or you get blown off the stage.

You all think you're so special.

You're a dime a dozen.

There are hundreds...

No, thousands of you

out there.

Auditioning, standing,

going here, there,

hither and yon.

You expect people

to remember you

if you don't have a look?

I was never arrogant that way.

I knew I needed a look.

And I got one.

You... Yes, you.

And don't take this

personally.

You don't have a look.

You look very nice.

I'm sure you are.

You look very clean,

very comme il faut

but you don't have a look.

Get one.

As quickly as possible.

It's much easier than

practicing your scales.

I first heard of Master Class

from a friend of mine

who told me,

"You should go

on an audition."

I was only a year and a half

out of Julliard

and I would get so nervous.

I would pass out

and wake up on the floor

and everybody else would be

scared to death

and I'd be,

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

I remember Terrence

and Zoe Caldwell being there

and I remember clutching

the side of the piano

as I tried to sing

and thinking,

"Well, I've blown this."

And then Terrence

took me to lunch.

And he just kinda

disarmed me in a way,

put me completely at ease.

Do you believe women

can have balls, Sharon?

Yes, I do.

Verdi is daring you

to show us yours.

Will you do it?

Yes.

I was very excited

to go see Master Class revival

in 2011

and Zoe Caldwell and I

went on a date.

And Tyne was spectacular

in the role.

So, what are you

doing out here?

Go away. We don't want

to see you yet.

You want me to go off

and come back out?

No, I want you to enter.

You're on a stage.

Use it, own it.

This is opera.

Not a voice recital.

Anyone can stand there

and sing.

An artist enters and is.

She's jealous

and competitive

and sad.

So many yummy things...

to act.

AHERNS: Almost two

decades later,

I find myself amazed

everytime I see a production

of Ragtime.

It goes back

to E. L. Doctorow's novel

and Terrence's amazing book.

It continues to be so relevant.

Immigration, terrorism,

the travails

of African-Americans.

How we are constantly

in change,

constantly in turmoil.

What was so beautiful

about Ragtime is,

you know, it's also

attributed to Terrence's work.

Let me pass.

That'll be $25.

AUDRA: It's just

making everybody

look at how different we are,

but at the same time

we are all so similar.

MARIN: I got a call to come in

and audition

for Mother in Ragtime.

I had read the script

and I had read

the Doctorow novel.

And I was so excited

because it was

Terrence McNally

and I was a huge admirer

of his plays.

Marin has one of the most

exquisite voices ever,

and she's fearless.

AHERNS: Mother did not

have a song in act two.

That was the moment

when she finally

stood her ground,

became a woman

who was stepping

into the 20th century.

STEPHEN: Terrence would

come up with

these flashes of brilliance

which would really lead us

to the song,

to the musical idea.

He wrote a beautiful speech

called "Back to before."

AHERNS: Terrence said,

"I wrote something."

Then he handed me

a Manila envelope,

he said, "Don't read it now,

just take it with you."

And I got in a cab,

I immediately opened up

this envelope,

and I read his monologue,

and I burst into tears.

You were my sky

My moon and my stars

And my ocean...

It was

the jumping off point

for the entire show.

We can never go back

To before

TERRENCE: Gary seemed

really very well.

We did a bicycle tour

of Cuba.

I had a wonderful time.

And we came back

and the very next morning,

he said, "Oh, my God,

I can't see."

Right away, we went

to the doctor

and this doctor

was introduced as the doctor

for the Shah of Iran

and Mrs. Onassis Jackie.

Jackie O, and I said to Gary,

"That's not much

of a recommendation,

they're both dead."

JOE: I got a call

from Terrence

saying, "If you'd like

to see Gary,

you should probably

come today."

It was the first time

that I ever had to say

goodbye to someone.

It was really like

this is the moment

that you get to say to someone

what they meant to you.

And just say, "I love you."

TERRENCE: We need people

like Gary

to remind us that life

is still good.

That theater is still

worth doing

and that love, humanity,

grace are still possible.

Have you thought about your

memorial I think about mine.

LARRY: I got too much work

to do before I die.

Good for you.

I shouldn't waste my time

planning mine.

I most remember

how excited I was

when I saw

The Normal Heart

'cause there

ever wasn't anything

in my lifetime

quite like that

theatrical event

of a play

that made people

wanna jump

out of their seat

and run

and do something active

about a horrible situation.

And you know, it had

the most electrifying...

I've never seen

that kind of

cause and effect.

Well, you're always,

in my mind,

an amazing person

because, as I said earlier,

you were so productive,

and I wasn't

as a playwright.

And I admire that you...

worked so hard and so much

-and that you wrote

about gay stuff...

-Mmm-hmm.

...when so few people did.

And more successful with it.

And you also dealt

with the politics

of Corpus Christi

and you have a record

to be proud of.

You know you gotta

do something with your life.

-Time is short.

-Yeah.

Matter. Do something.

Act, you know.

Stand up for something.

In a lot of ways,

art can move faster

than society.

Corpus Christi was out there

in advance

of lawyers

and activists like me.

MEADOW: For at least

four years,

we kept announcing

that we were going to do

this play called

Corpus Christi.

Terrence was on fire

in that period.

His role

at Manhattan Theater Club

was just seminal to our growth,

to his growth.

Very early on,

we got a group

of great actors

and did a reading

at Manhattan Theater Club.

All of a sudden,

this earnest little play

was thrust into the spotlight.

ROBERTA:

The incredible hysteria

when Corpus Christi

was first performed,

was kind of an early symptom

of what would come later.

in the fight

for marriage equality.

And God saw everything

that he made,

and behold, it was very good.

I enclose scriptures

of the next man.

God loves us most

when we love each other.

We accept you

and we bless you.

Now, who's got a ring?

A controversial play

is sending shock waves

from New York City

across the whole country

when a theater announced

it would be performing

a non-Biblical depiction

of a gay

Jesus Christ character,

they got death threats.

You have to be brave

to write a play

of spiritual substance.

You know,

it's a dangerous thing.

Manhattan Theater Club

undertook to do

the Corpus Christi.

And then they abandoned it

because of pressure?

I had asked Terrence

to postpone his play

for a year

because I felt

that the play needed

to have more work.

In our 25 year history,

we have never censored a play,

nor turned a play down

because of content.

In the face

of these accusations,

we took steps

to further evaluate

what has always been

the only issue for us.

Safety and security.

TERRENCE: MT states,

"We're gonna have

to cancel this."

And I said,

"Well, before you do,

I think you should think

long and hard."

We think it's

incredibly important to tell

bigots and crazy people

that in New York City,

freedom of expression

is sacrosanct.

TERRENCE: Finally,

they opened the play

under vigorous security.

And it was a very hot ticket

through the entire length

of the run.

Even though the controversy

kind of overwhelmed

the actual play,

but as an artistic experience,

that moment in my life,

it's one of my...

Things I most treasure.

Now, if you're a cobbler,

by your 100th shoe,

you know how to make

a shoe work,

but it's not the same thing

with a play.

It keeps you young,

and fresh, and humble,

but it also, I think,

prevents you

from ever thinking,

"I've got this."

Every play is precarious.

"Will this live?"

"Will this take on its life?"

There's a lot at stake

for him,

and Terrence

loves that challenge.

They may not be young,

they may not be pretty,

they may not even

be very good,

but tonight,

for one night only,

they're here.

They're live.

And they're going for no less

than the Full Monty.

JACK O'BRIEN:

This is such a gritty

real story.

And I would talk to Terrence

and say,

"These are not performers.

These are guys."

I wonder if we can do

a naturalistic musical

in which nobody seems

to be performing.

So that the music

and the dialog

just simply flow together.

And by God, we did.

PATRICK: I was in

a prep school, and the

first play that I did was Next

by Terrence McNally.

And I really got

into this character

in my own little

17-year-old way.

and I remember

by the end of the play

I was in tears,

I couldn't even

finish the play.

And the lights went down

and I just felt very raw

and I felt, like,

"Wow, I guess

that's what acting is."

TERRENCE: I went by

the theater one night

and I saw Patrick Wilson

on a Gershwin review

and I thought, "This guy

is really great

and we're casting Full Monty."

David Yazbek

wrote a brilliant score.

Now we had a wonderful

perfect cast.

The characters in Full Monty,

to me, represent everybody

who has got some gumption

and wants to better themselves.

And I just loved writing

these six men.

This show was as much about

life and love and not taking

anybody for granted

as any show

I've ever been a part of.

Who are you calling a loser?

You're my father.

Almost a great father.

Said you needed a killing.

This is it. Everyone we know

is out there.

You think I'm a great father?

I said almost.

I love you, you big fuck.

When you think about Terrence,

what's the category

that leaps to mind?

Let it go

JACK O'BRIEN:

Musical librettist?

Gay historian?

Comic writer?

Romantic?

Bring it on.

MAN: Come on, Maestro,

what are we eating today?

TERRENCE: I don't know.

Look at the pattern on these.

It's so beautiful.

I'd buy a shirt

with that pattern.

-I would.

-I know you would.

What flowers do you like?

TERRENCE: Not many people

will fess up to love

at first sight,

but I will and I believe in it.

It was a Sunday afternoon

in June of 2001.

I put together

an afternoon panel

called "Theater

from a gay perspective."

I thought, "Another pane

on gay theater?

I'm so tired of them."

But my mother

was visiting from Texas.

I said, "Well, it's something

to take mom to."

So, I said, "Yes."

My mother died

shortly after that.

It was really

the last time I saw her.

It is so exciting

for me to be a part

of a panel discussion

with these three distinguished

playwrights tonight.

KIRDAHY: We have Edward Albee,

Lanford Wilson,

and Terrence McNally

on the panel.

At the time,

I was lawyering

I was still doing HIV work,

but at a very young age

I fell in love

with the theater.

So, I was

absolutely starstruck.

It's very convenient

for critics to call

the three of us gay writers.

Because it fits us

into a little compartment.

Imagine how absurd it would be

to call Arthur Miller

or David Mamet

straight writers.

It shows how marginalized

gay men and lesbians are

in our society.

KIRDAHY: I just thought,

"Wow, that guy

those eyes are just

ablaze, and he's so funny."

And we hit it off.

TERRENCE: My first date

with Tom Kirdahy,

I made spaghetti

with a store-bought

tomato sauce.

So, I don't call that cooking.

I call that boiling water.

KIRDAHY: We talked

and we talked for hours

and we talked about my work

as an AIDS attorney.

Terrence talked

a lot about Gary Bonasorte

and I loved the way

he spoke about

this man he loved.

I was very moved by that.

TERRENCE: That was

an instant connection.

KIRDAHY: Our days together

were incredible.

By Thanksgiving, it was clear

that we were falling in love.

And Terrence said,

"Look, we need

to have a conversation.

I've been diagnosed

with lung cancer,

I have struggled with

when and how to tell you,

but I'm going to have

major lung surgery

on December 10th.

And I think that it's unfair

not to share that information

with you."

TERRENCE: I expected him to say

give me a ring

when you get better.

He said, "I'd like to

go through this with you."

And Tom was there

every inch of the way.

KIRDAHY: That first year,

there were six or seven

hospitalizations

and there was enormous fear

that he wasn't gonna make it.

TERRENCE:

" I have cancer, Sally.

It's only a little speck now,

a microscopic dot of

pain and terror.

But they tell me

it will soon grow

and ripen and flower

in this fertile bed

of malignancy

that has somehow

become my body.

No cancer will be

worse than mine.

None more virulent,

more horrendous

or agonizing.

I'm scared.

I'm very, very scared.

KIRDAHY: Terrence now has

a quarter of a lung

on one side

and half a lung

on the other side.

So he's got less than a lung.

And he's doing great.

After the cancer, it was like

he had experienced a rebirth.

There were new plays

on Broadway and off.

Musicals, operas.

And I was so thrilled

to be by his side.

We're gathered here today

to witness reaffirming

of marriage vows

of Terrence McNally

and Tom Kirdahy.

If there is anyone

present today

who knows of any reason

why this couple should not

reaffirm their vows,

let them speak now

or forever hold their peace.

Excellent.

TERRENCE:

Being happily married to Tom

has really made me

trusting of life

in a way

that there wasn't before.

I've had some terrific

relationships,

but this is the one

that really matters the most.

By the powers vested in me

by the State of New York,

I re-pronounce you married,

and you may seal

your vows with a kiss.

TERRENCE: When people say,

"When are you gonna retire?"

I sort of wanna hit them.

I've got about three plays

that I wanna write.

I'm still the most critical

of my work.

I'm more critical of my work

than any director,

or actor, and God knows

any critic will ever be.

I think maybe a lack of

self-confidence

has motivated me

and kept me going 78 years.

SHERYL: Mothers and Sons

is about forgiveness.

And even if we can't forgive,

we have to move forward.

He was barely 18

when he left Texas.

That's too young

to come to a city

like New York.

As a young gay man,

he didn't feel comfortable

where he was.

Andrey wasn't gay

when he came to New York.

We've been talking

about the condition

of being invisible.

Especially for women

as you age.

She sees how bereft

she is of connection.

She's beginning to realize

how she has made herself alone.

Mothers and Sons

was very much

me trying to understand

my mother.

My kind of telling my mother

who I am.

And she had to sort of listen

as opposed to change

the subject.

Jesus Christ, woman,

reach out to someone.

Let someone in.

There's so much

I wanna say

that's not about Andre.

It's about me

and no one else.

Me, as if I were

the only person

on the planet,

which is how I felt

all my life.

There were other people,

a mother, a father,

a husband, didn't matter.

I was still alone and then

there was Andre

and I thought that everything

would be fine.

He was gonna fix it.

He didn't even

come close.

My work never gave me

pleasure before.

Only in the past

couple of years.

During the run

of Mothers and Sons,

I was just going

up on Fifth Avenue

and I saw the marquee

and I was just like,

"Wow, that's me,

that's my life up there."

And it's not over,

but I let it in.

That's the day I said,

"I am a playwright,

I've done this."

Before, I don't know,

it was like,

"Thanks for the use

of the hall.

You know, "Turn off

the lights when you're done."

I always felt like a visitor

and I suddenly felt

like a part

of the American theater.

It was a great feeling.

Theater is collaborative,

but life is collaborative.

We need that spirit

more than ever

in these days ahead.

I'm always startled

when I'm asked

why I chose

to write about AIDS.

There was no choice.

An artist responds

to their world

and tries to make sense of it.

Even the bad things.

What else was I going

to write about? The weather?

I'm thankful

for the men and women

who took to the streets

and made our voices heard.

They made a difference.

But I'm also grateful

to the artists

who tried to make sense

of the terror and confusion.

We also made a difference.

I'm bewildered

and more than a little angry

by the artists who did nothing

but fiddle.

While they roamed,

this great city burned.

I lost two partners to AIDS,

I walk for

Gary Bonasorte today.

I walk for Bobby Drivas.

I walk for

all the men and women

who never had the opportunity

of life not cut

unreasonably short.

So many possibilities denied.

I walk in remembrance.

I walk in love.

Someone told me the

average age expectancy now

is 80 something.

How many of those moments

do you live

with such intensity?

Half of our life,

we're getting cabs

or washing the dishes

or picking up the dry-cleaning

or not noticing

the person sitting next to us.

The arts are an attempt

to hold in our hands, what...

It's hard to hold lightning,

sand or a border.

Those moments that are full and

right and true and just life.

I want more of these moments.

"If I have seemed harsh,

"it is because I've been

harsh with myself.

"I'm not good with words,

but I have tried to reach you."

"To communicate something

of what I feel

"about what we do as artists,

"as musicians,

"and as human beings."

"The sun will not fall

from the sky.

"There are no more traviatas."

"The world can

and will go on without us."

"But I have to think that

we have made this world

a better place,

"that we have left it richer,

"wiser than had we not

chosen the way of art."

"The older that I get,

"the less I know.

"But I'm certain that

what we do matters."

"If I didn't believe that...

"You must know what

you want to do in life.

"You must decide

for we cannot do everything."

"Do not think singing

is an easy career.

"It is a lifetime's work.

"It does not stop here."

"Whether I continue

singing or not doesn't matter.

"Besides, it's all there

in the recordings."

"What matters is that

you use whatever

you have learned wisely."

"Think of the expression

of words,

of good diction,

and of your own

deep feelings."

"The only thanks I ask

is that you sing properly

"and honestly.

"If you do this,

then I will be repaid."

"Well, that's that.

"She gathers her things

and goes.

"Black out. The end."