Evergreen (2019) - full transcript

How come every term for

significant
other is like a food?

That's a good point.

- It's a good point, right?
- Honey, sugar...

well not like darling.

So, when are your
parents driving up?

Not until Christmas morning.

Is
your mom so excited to see me?

She is beyond excited.

No, she really,
she really loves you.

She loves you, like,
she loves you more than me.



I really believe that.

Right, oh, right there.

Ready for the
best Christmas of your life?

Here's the
wind-up and the pitch.

Oh, gross!

Hey.

You got slobber all over me.

This is genuine
wool from Italy, baby.

Why haven't
we come here before?

This, this place is crazy.

Yeah, I don't know.
We used to come here a lot more.

I guess I was just
waiting for the perfect moment.

One, two, three!

- Oh, oh!
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.



Hurry, hurry, hurry,
hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!

- I'm going!
- Move it, move it, move it.

Oh, oh!

It's so cold. Oh.

What did you do?

Oh, thank you.

Go.

Look at the
presents under the tree!

Oh, these stockings, so cute.

How many dead animals are
in this house, Paul? Seriously.

Did you kill any of
these animals, you wild man?

Love you.

I never kissed
inside a bear before.

It was kind of fun.

I'm
gonna go grab the bags, Paulie.

♪ Don t go away for good ♪

♪ it s such a long drive ♪

Darling...

♪ I don t think I d survive ♪
- Darling, bye

♪ I can t picture this house ♪
- Oh, dear God.

please
let tonight be the night.

♪ I can t picture this house ♪

♪ without you here ♪

Knock knock.

You said to
dress up, darling.

Wow.

Turkey or cock?

101 or 81?

Come, come, Paulie.

Ah. You have much to learn.

So, what do you want?

Cock.

It's the year of the rooster.

We cannot deny the calendar.

What do you taste?

Shoe polish.

Brilliant, Paulie.

For an esteemed
brand ambassador,

you don't have
the champagne taste.

We Kentuckians appreciate
the simpler things in life.

Now,
don't be a chicken, Paulie.

Down
the hatch, there you go.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Oh, God, just when I start to

think you're cute,
you go and do that.

Can you ask me a question?

Okay.

I want you to ask me
when I knew you were the one.

When did you know
that I was the one?

It was last Christmas,

when
I was stuck in bed with the flu.

So, like, just a few
months after we started dating?

Yeah, I guess it was.

You know, that was my

first Christmas I'd ever spent
away from my family,

and I thought I'd be
homesick, but you were there.

You stayed
and took care of me.

I love you.

Gena, I want to give
you everything this weekend.

You are just the corniest.

Oh, I'm warming up.

There's a
lot of layers here.

Oh,
let's do something to keep warm.

What's wrong?

Hold on.

We shouldn't do it like this.

I am-we're really-

I'm really drunk.

Maybe we
should call it a night

before we do
something we'll regret.

Paul, no, can we-

it's fine, can we just, can
we, can we talk about it?

Can we
just talk about it?

I don't
think that is what we'll do.

And would that be so bad?

Gena? Trust me. Okay?

Okay.

I'm sorry. Can we
talk about this in the morning?

I took it
too far. I didn't mean to-

I- I just need to lay down.

You okay?

Catholics are so fixated

on the
discharge of bodily fluids.

It's a wonder that they'll
even let themselves sneeze.

Hmm.

So, why are we trying
to sell him something that

he doesn't want to buy?

He'll get there.

He's just not ready.

Do you think he's asking
more of you than you are of him?

No. No, not-

I'm not
running this script again.

Gena. You
succulent papaya.

Oh my God, you're the worst.

You're strong,
successful, 30. Hmm.

You could
have any man you want.

Do you
think that maybe you're just

checking off a box because
you hear the clock ticking?

No.

No. No, I don't
want just anyone.

I want, I want a good one.

Not like me.

Not like you. Like Paul.

Paul is a good one. Not you.

Did you want more coffee?

Mm-hmm.

Look.

What?

I'm sorry
last night was awkward.

I was unfair to you.

I know I keep falling into this.

I really am sorry.

I don't mean
to be jerking you around.

But, you do
jerk me around, Paul.

You can see where
that might be a little confusing

for me, yeah?

I can. That's on me.

I know it can seem
selfish for me to not give

myself to you.

But it's not
because I don't want to.

I really do.

I just
don't want to take from you-

We've had this
conversation before, Paul.

And I don't get it. I don't.

I just, I want to give this to
you, and I don't understand why

you think you'd be taking
something that I'm willingly

giving to you, I just-I just-

Gena, I think sex is more

than just sharing
yourself with someone.

I- it's someone giving

themselves
completely to the other person,

and when the other
person does it back-

I hear you, but I can't have
this body language talk again.

You do know that
these go in the trash, right?

It's okay if you didn't.

Can they go down the sink?

They're gonna have to.

Can you not leave
the water running, Paul, please?

Look.

I just don't always
know what it is that you want,

or when you want it,
or when it's okay, you know?

I- first base,
second base, third base,

third and a half base.

Just because I
don't live up to my ideals

doesn't mean they're wrong.

It means I'm wrong.

You have to understand how

incredibly
convenient that is for you.

No, no, you get caught
up in, in these moments,

and you let me
do these things to you,

and vice versa, to be fair,
but then you get away with it.

Because you turn around and you
say, oh, I feel guilty, and we

shouldn't have done that, and
that wasn't that bad,

and I'm sorry.

You get off, and
then wash your hands,

and get to feel
righteous. And then, and then

I'm left feeling like
I forced myself on you.

And that's not okay!
That makes me feel like shit!

You just can't
pick and choose the

moments
when, when you believe, Paul.

I know.

I'm a hypocrite.

But I've
messed it up before not waiting,

so I want to wait
just a little bit longer.

Is that okay?

Dropped one.

You just said this was gonna
be a special weekend, Paul.

I mean,
look where we are.

Yeah, I
can understand that.

You know
I'm not a good word person.

My mouth is way faster
than my mind sometimes.

Are we okay?

I have a proposition.

We're here
for the weekend, right?

And sex
is definitely off the table.

So, let's do this.

Cut the pillow talk,
get down to brass tacks.

Just dig deep,
ask any questions,

the other has to
answer completely honestly,

no
second-guessing, no hesitation,

no judgment, just-just us.

Just the parts you can't touch.

Nothing physical?

Nothing physical.

Alright, I accept.

Excellent.

So, what made you start smoking?

Since when do you have
a problem with me smoking?

I never said I have a
problem with you smoking.

I said, when
did you start smoking?

I don't know.

The point of the game
is to answer questions, Gena.

I know, Paul.

It just
wasn't a seminal moment.

I remember my first cigarette.

Was it yesterday?

I was 12.

Cassie snuck some from
her brother, and we, and we'd

smoke them
before riding bikes, and-

You and Cassie
grew up together?

Yeah, I've told you that.

Okay.

But you're up, not me.

All right, you want to know?

Mm-hmm.

First time I
smoked was at church,

actually, believe it or not.

Because
that's what you do, right?

Our
church youth group would hold

these nights to
showcase local bands,

and I had
a crush on the lead singer of

one of the bands, as you do.

I think they
were called, oh, God,

like Trinity Forever,

like
one of those really shitty-

Trinity Forever, man.
- Christian rock bands, yeah.

Oh, and the lead singer
used to smoke behind the church.

And
finally, one Saturday, I walked

up to him and I said,
can I have a cigarette?

Just to have
something to say to him.

Mmm.

I was so clueless I
put the wrong end in my mouth.

And he had to get really close
to me, and he turned it around.

And then he lit it for
me. And it was so romantic.

And I took two drags,
and I puked on his Vans.

All over them.

Aw. And then you
lived happily ever after?

Yeah, yeah.

Aw, I'm sorry.

Hey, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

You agreed. No touching.

Oh, right.

- Yeah, nothing at all.
- Nothing at all.

Can't even
step into the batter's box.

- No.
- Don't do that to me.

No.

Alright, fine.

Pleasure doing business, Gena.

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God, our
house looks like your suit.

You're so cute.

- You're so cute and festive.
- I planned it.

So, I have a
question for you.

Mm-hmm.

Why didn't you go back
to baseball, after everything?

Thought about it.

It was just
kind of one of those things

where a few months go by,

and you don't train, and you
realize it's too late.

But then a few
more months go by,

and you realize,
no, it wasn't too late, Paul,

but now
it's definitely too late.

And then a
year goes by, and you're like-

Shoot.

I don't think I can
throw a baseball anymore.

And I just kind of realized that

what I really wanted out
of life was to be a husband,

be a father, raise a family.

You never resent it?

Having to give it up?

It wasn't her choice.

It was my choice.

That still doesn't
answer my question.

I love that you
love the church,

but my experience
was very different.

My experience was
getting hit on by Father Dino

and his Knights of Columbus
every Octoberfest like they'd

never seen tits before,

and only
for them to tell me Sunday

through Thursday how to act,

and what to dress like,

and when to screw with
who. I mean, it's ridiculous.

I'm
sorry that was your experience.

But just
because they love a good thing

badly doesn't mean that
they don't love a good thing.

Look, I just don't want to
flounder dead-eyed in pews every

Sunday like my dad did.
I mean, my sister and I

sat there week after week,
and we sat in that distance

between our parents,
and it was,

it was palpable, and I don't-
no touching, what are you doing?

Yeah, I just made the bed.

Oh, thank you.

Just don't want
there to be a distance between

us, you know?

I don't think I can pass
on a faith that I don't have.

I'm not asking you
to sell doughnuts after mass.

I'm asking you to love me.

Because that's
what our kids will see.

They'll
see a mother who loves them,

and
that's what they'll remember.

My mom didn't become Catholic
till I was in high school.

Ugh, God, you get so close to

convincing me that it'll work,

and then you say something
like that, and just that little

glimmer of hope that I'm just
gonna magically become Catholic

again like
your mom did. It just-

it's not gonna happen for me.
That's not my story.

I'm glad it
worked for your mother,

glad it worked for your family.

But that's not gonna be me.

I just need you to support me.

I do. I do.

Great.
Then that's enough.

We just start? Okay.

♪ Is there something ♪

♪ something
out of place here ♪

♪ something I
can t face here ♪

♪ something I don't know ♪

♪ Is there someone ♪

♪ someone on your mind now ♪

♪ someone I don't mind now ♪

♪ someone I don't know ♪

♪ Doo da, doo da ♪

Yes.

♪ Is there somewhere ♪

♪ somewhere
we could go now ♪

You should go back.

Hey, Paulie?

Paulie, I'm
ready. Where are ya?

Hello?

Oh.

It's a beautiful rock.

That's your cut, too.

Alright.
Alright, I guess I like him.

Only because you do.

Shit.

Hey!

Hello.

Looking for this?

Oh, yeah.

Yes, actually.

You little forgetful darling.

How do you like that?

- Okay, thank you.
- You're welcome.

When are you gonna show me
the rest of this ranch of yours?

What would you like to see?

Um...
the most magical place here.

All this nature, and
your mother got us a fake tree.

She knew I
wouldn't water a real one.

Oh, Paulie.

Idea.

Well, at least she's real.

- What's that, boy?
- Huh?

He says he
wants to give you a ride.

But I still want to
treat you to skiing. Forgive me.

- Appreciate you.
- Here we are.

- We will build a snowman.
- We will build. Yes, we will.

Who's Copper?

Copper was my cat.

He was such a cool
cat till I was allergic to him.

My dad gave him
away without me knowing.

That's so sad.

Did you bag
this one yourself?

I bagged this one myself.

A real elk in there, and
you decided to make it bronze?

Nope, there it is.

So, that's the secret.

Don't
look down, and then fall?

- Don't look down.
- Don't look down and don't fall.

Don't look down.

Your
metaphors are confusing.

Aww, cute.

Oh my gosh.

Isn't Santa tacky enough without

putting him on a picnic basket?

Let's make a fish, let's put a
dog next to him. Bop bop bop.

I'm not creepy enough as it is.

Mmm, I hate him.

Now step
forward, close your eyes.

Now you hit
a jump, you're in the air.

You can move
each limb freely.

Yeah, all right.

Paul, is there
a real elk in here?

My aunt does
bronze taxidermy.

No, gross!

This is the spot
where my dad proposed to my mom.

Well, how'd he
do it? What's the story?

Well, first,
he got down on one knee.

Yeah?
And then he proposed.

It's not that great
of a story. I don't know.

Oh my God.

Somehow,
some way, you land perfectly.

Open.

It's you.

It's me.

You're breaking the rules.

This is the
most magical place?

There's shuffleboard!

Uh ping it, ping it first.

- Don't tell me how to play.
- Ping it.

Come on. You ping it.

Alright. While you miss this,

I'll go ahead and ask
you a real serious question.

Mm-hmm.

What's your
favorite cereal?

Oh my gosh.

Easy, Corn Pops.

- P.
- P.

P-I-

Ah.

You know all
about the flavor delay?

It's like, you have to really
think about that in cereal.

So, Life,

Honeycombs and Frosted Flakes,

it's like two
different culinary experiences.

You've got one
before the milk, and-

One after the milk.

So, Frosted
Mini Wheats. Thoughts.

Stop
shaking the table.

P-I-N-G.
I thought we just-

- We have to get past G.
- Ready?

Waiting.

Alright.

How in the world did

you two get an
annulment to begin with?

I mean, we applied,
like you do with annulment.

That's not
what I meant by how.

You two grew up very
close, very religious, right?

Mm-hmm.

I mean,

an annulment means there was not
a marriage to begin with.

The conditions
for that are very strict.

I don't
understand the question.

So, you don't
believe in soulmates?

Oh, I hate that word.

It just
depends on how you define it.

Okay. Agreed, agreed.

I don't mean someone like you're
made for, I have this theory.

Say you had
every man in the world

lined up in front of you.

I like it.

You'd have, like, a
compatibility percentage with

each person, right?

So, you have Balthazar
over here from the Midwest.

Balthazar.

Like a stay at home dad
without any kids, really boring.

- 17.8%.
- Got it.

You
have Ethan over here,

macho, bit
of a party animal, wild card.

74.6%.

Then you have Paul over here.
Paul Owen.

- Suave, charming, handsome.
- Debonair.

Debonair.

99.8%.

True.

I just think that
every note has its pitch.

Every thrift store
has its "Jerry Maguire" VHS.

Every
person has its person.

Like, you can't, you just,
you have to mean the vows,

the death
do us part, the children.

You can't just do it
because you want to get laid,

or because you feel obligated.

Or because
I got my friend pregnant.

I don't know, I
think just this idea of,

you
know, one person having this,

like, missing piece of you,

it's just, it's
just dangerous, you know?

You spend so much time
looking for that person and

trying out new things, it's
like, we spread ourselves so

thin looking for that one person
that, you know, if we saved a

little bit for the
person we actually chose,

then that person
could, in theory, become our

soulmate, or
whatever you want to call it.

I guess my real
question is just that,

if you guys were so close to
begin with, why did you leave?

How did it not work out?

She was miserable,
and I felt like she gave up.

Felt like...

felt like I, I was hurting her.

And whatever problems we had
before were way worse after.

You know, why
punish ourselves for the sake of

something that wasn't there?

I tried. I really tried.

But...

you know...

losing a baby's hard.

So, if I may ask?

Sure.

If you can essentially make
it work with anyone, why did you

not make it work with Dylan?

Did you not love him?

Of course, I loved him.

But it
takes two people to constantly

be adjusting to each other,
and I didn't get that from him.

It
wasn't a two-way street with us.

And also, just
the timing of it was wrong.

Timing plays a big
part in these kind of things.

- I don t know.
- Okay.

I mean, I've told
you the things that matter.

I mean, I don't want to-

Yeah, okay.

What are you, what
are you trying to say, Paul?

What? Say it.

Whatever, you have
a thing to say, then say it.

Now's the time to ask.
I feel like I'm being honest

with you, so ask me
what you want to ask me.

Alright, yeah.
If now's the time,

I, I...

I'm just a little
nervous that one day you might

give up on us if things get-

it's just an honest-

Really?

- It's an honest fear.
- Paul.

I don't understand.

If that is such a
doubt you have in your mind,

why did you bring me here?

Why did you buy a ring?
Why did you, you know-

A ring?

What, what
do you mean, a ring?

I, I was looking
for you in your room, and I,

I saw your dresser was open.

And I just, I saw it, I saw it.

I was like, I-that's
not even what this is about.

This is about you not believing
that I'm gonna pull my weight in

this
relationship, and that fucking-

It's not about that.

Ugh!

Oh, nice book.

Just trying
to figure you out, bud.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I keep saying sorry.

I, I know I've been distant.

A little bit.

And weird.

A lot bit.

I just, I want
everything to be perfect.

And those were some
hard questions earlier.

I know.

But these are,
these are just excuses, okay?

I have no right
to treat you that way.

Anything else?

I love you.

Want to reset the clock?

Yeah.

You, uh...

you bring any weed?

♪ Don t you wanna
take a ride on my jet ski ♪

What do you love most about me?

♪Hey♪

You really care.

And you
want to make people happy.

- Oh!
- Oh, shit!

What do you
hate most about me?

Hmm.

Oh, there's a
surprise in this one.

- Eat it.
- No! Ugh!

You never say sorry.

Name this animal.

Donkey Doo.

Name this animal.

Moo, Moosif.

Moosif. It's like a
little Christmas song over here.

Yeah.

Paul-loves-fall.

It's my favorite season.

I know.

I'm tired.

Let's just sleep by the fire.

Would you rather,

lights on or lights off?

On.

How do you
know if you don't know?

Oh, I know.

Would you rather

never see me,
or never touch me again?

Hm, goodness.

Is that a threat?

Just a question.

Just a
question? My goodness.

Well...

I
can't see you at all right now.

So cold.

There you are.

I see you.

It's pretty good.

Hmm, now.

See, I think I want

more than the eyes can get.

Ah, that's against your rules.

I can change the rules.

There's never
enough of anyone.

So, which is it?

Well, as pretty as you are,

I want to hold you,

and be able to love you.

I couldn't
go without seeing you.

Are all these
really just for decoration?

No.

So, who are they for?

Anyone who'll listen.

Does anyone?

How long can you wait
for a good man to come around?

You'd have been a great mother.

I'll always be a mother, Paul.

I thought it
was the right thing.

I know.

I felt like a curse.

I know.

I couldn't have made you better.

I know.

Yeah, I
wanted you to be with someone

you dreamed of the same way

they dreamed of you.

Not someone you had to love.

What if it was you,

Paul, that I dreamed of?

You never said anything.

You never said anything.

I know.

Because
what if I was too scared?

What if I was too sad?

What if I
didn't want you to feel trapped?

What if I didn't want
to have to ask you to stay?

Hey. I got scared.

Oh.

You okay?

Yeah. Looking for some
hand warmers or something.

Oh,
it's so cold. Come snuggle.

- What's up, Scrooge?
- Twas the night before Christmas.

Hey.

Huh?

When you fly in
your dreams, how do you do it?

Huh?

When you fly.

Do you have to flap your arms

really hard, or
do you just kind of float,

or do you
soar like Superman?

I guess I usually
have to flap pretty hard. You?

Superman.

- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm.

What does it mean?

I have a
theory that how you fly in your

dreams is directly related to
your personality in real life.

Mmm, so flappers,

floaters, and Supermen?

You got it.

So, flappers are persistent,

focused, visionary, disciplined?

An iron jawline,

a real take-charge type?

That's Superman,

obviously. Hello.

Hmm. Well, your test

is bunk, because
I'm a real take-charge type.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Am too.

I mean, yeah,
sure, if nobody else steps up,

then absolutely,
Paul Owen is the man.

But otherwise,

I think
you're perfectly content to lay

back and let somebody
else take charge, yeah?

Hm, I'm a leader.

You're right.

I am.

I know, you're right.

I misspoke.

I'm a leader.

I'm agreeing with you.

No, you're not.

So, what are flappers? Uh-

self-doubting,
indecisive, delusional?

No.
That's not what I meant.

Was Dylan a Superman?

Jesus, Paul.

No, I was just bullshitting.

It's not a real
theory. Newsflash. Come on.

No, yeah. Come on,
give up. Just give up.

No, come on and lay down.

Give up because
you're a little flapper.

Oh my God, it's
not a real theory, dude.

I was just bullshitting.

- No, you weren't. You do this.
- Yes, I was.

You start with a seemingly
insignificant idea, and then you

peel it back and back until you

finally get
what you're trying to say.

What are you trying to say?

- Are you jealous?
- Should I be?

No. I'm with you.

Alright, so, if
he had wanted to,

you would've married him?

Paul, I don't-

I don't ask myself questions
that can't be answered.

Ever the diplomat. I-

- Gena, this was your game.
- What is your problem?

- I've been completely straight with you.
- I know it was my game.

- I don't know why you can't be straight with me.
- I know, I appreciate that.

Because I don't
know what you're asking me.

Why did you
end things with Dylan?

You know why. I have told
you everything that matters.

This is so like you.

- This is so like you.
- Come on, Paulie, just-

No,
don't call me Paulie, please?

It's fucking condescending.

Since when do you have a problem
with me calling you Paulie?

Since always.
I'm not your little kid.

Well, I didn't know that.

You've never
told me that before.

- I'm not your kid.
- I know you're not my kid.

- I don't treat you like a kid.
- Yeah, you do, though.

You do.
You dismiss anything

that's not a
part of your agenda.

You throw away,

anything about me, my
beliefs, my preferences.

Oh my God. No,
I leave a dish in the sink.

- That's the problem.
- It's not about the dishes,

- Gena, it's about respect.
- That is the problem.

I'm sorry it'll be,
that's earth shattering.

Oh, it's about
respect, of course, I forgot.

Dr. Paul Owen will be giving
his lecture series on respect.

Everyone gather
around, it's a good one.

I've heard it before.

See?

Don't slow clap me.

What,
you want to be a Superman?

Be a Superman.

It's not that hard, Paul.

Just got to stop hiding from

conflict like
some scared little kid.

Just say what you mean for once.

- There's an idea.
- Say what I mean?

- Say what you mean.
- I can't read your mind.

You can't handle criticism.

That's bullshit.

Alright, I
have to walk on eggshells,

otherwise you transmogrify
into this raging banshee.

Transmogrify? God, get off it.

Gena, I give you,
I give you your space.

I put up with so much.

Oh, you do?
You put up with so much?

I put up with so much.

Oh, poor Paulie.

Oh, God, oh
sorry, Paul, excuse me.

Oh my gosh, there you
go, condescending me again.

- Just answer the question, please.
- I'm not condescending you.

Just
answer the question, please.

What is the question?

Why did you
end things with Dylan?

Because he was married! Fuck.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

You didn't think, hey, future

husband, I'm a home wrecker
is relevant information?

Oh, that is so unfair.

That's
why I didn't tell you, right

there, is because I knew that
you would sit there and judge me

from this bullshit cookie cutter

morality world that only
the Owen family lives in.

What
else are you lying about?

I'm not lying!

It was
complicated, and it was a

mistake, but it was a long
time ago and I've moved on.

- So, can we move on, please?
- What else are you hiding?

- Any other
complications, because-

I'm not hiding
anything, Paulie. Paul, fuck.

You don't seem to have an issue
with infidelity. Thank you.

That is so unfair!

What? I can take it.

Tell me. Tell me, Paul.

I don't think
there's anything to say.

Tell me that I disappoint you
every day because I'm not the

Virgin Mary.
Well, guess what?

That didn't work out so well
for you the last time, did it?

Fuck! I didn't mean
that, Paulie. Paul. Fuck!

Hey.

Merry Christmas Eve.

What's this?

Just read.

The day after we met.

It's still what I want.

I still want to fight for this.

Even if it's hard sometimes.

Have you ever just
wanted to stay in bed all day?

Pretty much every day.

Well, what if
we just did that today?

And do what?

Nothing.

Just laid together.

Just rested.

That sounds great.

Hi.

Hi.

It's so quiet.

- So quiet.
- So quiet.

I should've told
you about Dylan sooner.

And not in that moment,

and I shouldn't have said
the other things that I said.

I just never felt like
words were really on my side.

Kind of
like you, you know?

Mm-hmm.

When I was 16,

I loved a boy in a band

who smoked
cigarettes behind the church.

Whose Vans I puked on.

But he still made
me feel like everything,

so I gave him everything.

And then he dumped me the night

before prom and
he told everyone I was easy.

Words are big in a small town.

They, they travel fast,

and they carry a lot of weight,

even among
those who should know you better

than what they've heard.

They get you
kicked out of drama club,

co-op, and 4H,

and they
even get you asked to stop

serving mass
because you're too distracting.

Too distracting?

And your friends and their

parents and priests

look at you differently.

They all looked at me and they
didn't see me anymore, Paul,

they saw,
they saw a scandal,

and I said, if that's what

I am, then that's what I'll be.

They were supposed-

they were
supposed to be better, Paulie.

They were supposed to see me.

They were supposed to

be allured, or whatever.

but it
felt like they hated me, and it

felt like the Lord hated me,

and I started to hate Him,

them, all of it.

And He never came for me.

I didn't, I didn't
mean to lie to you. I didn't.

I wanted to tell you.

I just didn't want you to look
at me the way they looked at me.

I didn't want to disappoint you.

I didn't want to

not be enough for you.

You're enough.

You're so enough.

You are more than enough.

You hear me?

Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Paul. Hey, hey.

Is this really what you want?

Hey.

Do you really think
he can give you what you want?

What, like you did?

But you loved us. You loved me.

I did.

I loved you.

Just talking, just laughing.

Just listening, just us.

You've been leaving Katherine
since the day I met you, Dylan.

You knew
I was never going to.

I hoped.

And-and what if I did?

God, I didn't
want my daughter to have two

homes and not know why mommy and
daddy aren't in love anymore.

I had to do what I had to do.

And you didn't want children
back then, and I couldn't afford

a divorce and another
marriage, and I loved you.

Mm-hmm.

That was enough for me.

It wasn't for me.

So, what would you want?

A contract, jury of our peers?

No, I
didn't want you there with her

and me waiting
in the wings for you.

I wanted it to be us, Dylan,
and you couldn't give me that.

Gena, you were my
love, and she was just my wife.

But no-

it's fantasy to believe
that sometimes they can come

packaged in the same person.

Is it?

Oh, come on,
let me make you a real drink.

Vodka cranberry is a real drink.

No, it's not. I'm Gena.

And whatever else
you're going through, I just-I just

want you to know
I'm here for you, Paulie.

I know it's only
been a few months, but I just

wanted to say I love you.

I feel weird.

I just said that over your
voicemail, and you can't say it

back, and you don't have to.

That's not what I-

wow, okay, I'm
just gonna hang up, so,

call me later.

I thought you were
going back home for Christmas.

Well, you need
somebody to take care of you.

I mean, look at you.

Do I really
look as bad as I feel?

Yes, but you're
cute when you're helpless.

You know, I've never spent

Christmas away
from my family before.

Well, we'll have our own

little family
Christmas right here.

Look, I brought
a gingerbread house,

and a little
bit of George Bailey.

Brought
you some hot tea and soup.

Everything to make
you feel better, babe.

I love you.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I want
to show you something.

It's okay.
It's okay. Watch your step.

Where are you taking me?

Oh, Dave and Busters?

Some place even more magical.

Not possible.

Alright, okay.

Turn around.

Wait, oh, no, come over here.

On C, I want
you to take that off, okay?

- On C?
- On C.

- Like A, B, C?
- Yes.

Just count
down to like two.

A, B, C.

Oh!

- I knew it.
- You knew it?

I knew that's what you
were getting me out here to do.

Do you want to
work this out with me?

Do you
want to work this out with me?

I do.

- Are you sure?
- Of course.

It's gonna be really hard.

Got to keep it
interesting, you know?

Let me see it. Put it on.

Oh, sorry. Oh. Ah.

It's perfect.

This is perfect.

Oy!

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ all is bright ♪

♪ Round yon virgin ♪

I know
it's not Christmas yet,

but since you've
been such a good girl-

For me? You
have a present for me?

I do. It's not wrapped.

That's okay.

Phew.

A camera?

What a wonderfully
hipsterish gift, Santa.

For future memories.

Well, how lovely.

And, you know,
I feel like we don't

have a lot of good photos, so.

We have tons of photos together.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, but not good ones.

Not like real ones, you know.

We have good ones.

Well. Thank you.

You'll have to
show me how to use this.

Still going to mass?

Midnight is tradition.

Are you gonna wear that?

I look great in red, so-

You do. I just feel like
you might scare the children.

Also, you stink. Say cheese.

Cheese!

Click. I don't
know how to use this.

We'll figure it out.

Fine. I'll shower.

What
are you doing here, Dylan?

You tell me.

Ho ho ho ho.

You know,
Gena, you got to mean it.

This whole marriage thing, this
kids, till death do us part-

I know.

You know, you can't
do it because it's convenient,

or you think this is what
you're supposed to be doing,

- it's some sort of identity thing.
- I know.

- You need to be sure. Are you sure?
- I know!

Dylan, I know.

I don't
need you to be the one to tell

me that anymore.

You can't
keep being defined by the past.

That-that's
not who I am anymore.

I'm happy, Dylan.

I am.

And you can't be here anymore.

Well.

That makes me happy.

I'm glad you
finally realized that.

♪ Is there something ♪

♪ something
on your mind now ♪

♪ Something I don't ♪

♪ mind now ♪

♪ something I don't know ♪

♪ Is there someone ♪

♪ someone on your mind now ♪

♪ Someone I don't ♪

♪ mind now ♪

♪ someone I don't know ♪

♪ Is there some way ♪

♪ some way I could ♪

♪ be now ♪

♪ That would help you ♪

♪ see how ♪

♪ some way I don't know ♪

That should be the last of it.
You gonna be okay?

Say a prayer
to St. Chris for me.

Tell your mom I said hi.

You're going to, you're
going to stay there for a while?

Yeah, probably.

You know,
I think, I think it'll be good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Plenty of time to catch up.

- With Tina.
- Tina's cooking is-

Well, I guess this is when I go.

Oh hey, I m-

thinking
of going back to school.

Really?

Yeah.

That, that's great.

We'll always be a family.

Paul?!

Paul! It's time to go, babe.

You told me you lost the baby.

We did.

She
had an eye infection, that-

spread
throughout her whole body.

She made it ten days.

What was her name?

Lily.

Pretty.

She had so much hair.

This curly brown hair.

And she
was smiling, I swear.

That same
smile her mom had.

We maybe did it for the
wrong reasons, getting married.

But what we did, we did right.

Is she still your wife, Paul,

in your heart?

I don't mean before the church,

or the state of Colorado.

I'm asking you.

♪ The
river is white ♪

♪ from the snow
that s falling down ♪

♪ It s frozen and cracked ♪

♪ underneath
it is painted brown ♪

And me I am bundled ♪

♪ bearing the skin on my face ♪

♪ I silently wonder ♪

♪ do you ever
think of this place ♪

♪ On the
night before Christmas ♪

♪ when
everyone s warm by the fire ♪

♪ Oh, I go out walking ♪

♪ the moon
calls to me like a siren ♪

♪ So lovely and lonely ♪

♪ above in the sky so clear ♪

♪ How silent the night is ♪

♪ wishing that
you were still here ♪

♪ Oh, when it s cold outside ♪

♪ and the birds fly south ♪

♪ I start calling out
for the Golden Days ♪

♪ Oh, my nostalgic
heart, keeps passing time ♪

♪ But time it didn t rest for us ♪

♪ No time,
it doesn t rest for us ♪

Hi, it's Cassie.
Leave a message.

Hey, Cass. It's me.

Nothing's wrong,

so you don't have
to call back or anything.

I just, I'm
at the cabin right now,

and brought up
a lot of old memories.

I want to
say I'm sorry for everything.

I should have fought,

I should've fought for us.

I don't know why I-

I failed us.

I failed you.

I guess I haven't really felt
like myself since,

well, since Lily.

You know, I don't think

I've really felt
like myself in a long time.

But I shut you out,
and it's not because of you

or anything you did.

You know, it's because of me.

You deserve a lot,

so I guess I'm just calling to
say that I hope you have a lot.

And I hope, I hope you're happy.

Merry Christmas.

♪ There's a ghost in my bones ♪

♪ he has a voice like yours ♪

♪ He whispers inside me ♪

♪ with songs of your old heart ♪

♪ I tore it out, pulled it apart ♪

♪ now something seems a miss ♪

♪ but it's not you ♪

♪ you've tied yourself
through and through ♪

♪ my skin, my bones ♪

♪ There's a cork in my throat
when you walk in the room ♪

♪ Like an old
stone, I get thrown askew ♪

♪ Around and down
now something's missing ♪

♪ and he doesn't
touch me like you do ♪

♪ You've tied yourself through
and through my skin, my bones ♪

♪ But I am not ♪

♪ I am not, lost ♪

♪ Lost without you ♪

♪ There are always reminders ♪

♪ Between every sidewalk crack ♪

♪ There are always reminders ♪

♪ but no hope
lies in looking back ♪

♪ There are always reminders ♪

♪ between every sidewalk crack ♪

♪ There are always reminders ♪

♪ but no hope
lies in looking back ♪

♪ Oooh oooh ♪

A one, two,
a one two three four.

Ready? Are we in the
first verse or the second verse?

First verse.

♪ Is there some-

♪ -thing ♪

You changed choruses
right when I started singing.

Oh, okay, wait.

Ready? Just stay on it.

I'll just stay on it.
I'm down for a four count.

Okay.

What?

You got it.