Evel Knievel (2004) - full transcript

[engine turning over]

[engine starts]

[rock music]

[engine revving]

[crowd cheering]

- Zip it.
- I ain't saying nothing.

Yea, well you think
too damn loud, you feel?

[50's rock music]

♪ Something has
been ailing you... ♪

[horn honking]

♪ Don't take a little bit... ♪



[horn honks]

♪ till you find out for sure ♪

[metal clanking]

[radio tuning]

[different song
plays same style]

[horn honking]

♪ Yes I said come on over
baby you can't go wrong ♪

♪ We ain't thinking... ♪

[man] Where the hell you been?

[woman] Take it easy!

♪ Well I might come on
over baby cause we got... ♪

[police siren whoops]

[police siren wailing]

♪ C'mon baby where we
got the blues a whole lotta ♪



♪ We ain't thinking, a whole
lot of shaking going on ♪

♪ Well it's shake,
shake, shake ♪

♪ I said shake, shake, shake ♪

♪ I said shake baby shake it ♪

[officer] You little bugger!

I'm gonna catch you, you little
bastard you get back here!

I know it's you Bobby!
You little bugger.

Stop!

I'll kick your ass,
you'll wish you were never born!

[brakes squealing]

[women screaming]

Ow!

Man, get away from me! Can't
you see a kids riding here?

- Rat, get off the road.
- Oh my God.

Can't you see I'm right here!

Great, you stinking bastard.

Well, well, well...

It takes a licking but
not much ticking, huh?

Don't be funny.

I think I broke my arm.

I'll show you a broken arm,
c'mon. Get up.

Get off of me!

Get up you little punk.

Knievel... These ring a bell?

Never seen 'em.

If he catches you
stealing his hubs you're

gonna have more
than a broken wing. I

don't know why in the
hell your grandparents

haven't thrown
you out in the street.

Well I'm seeing your nasty
little face with entirely too

much regularity. Keep it
up you're gonna end in jail.

I am in jail.

Look what we got
here petty bone.

Jeez, keep him away from me.

[man belches]

Damn Knoffel,
don't you never bathe?

Hey, hey bubba.

C'mon get in there.

Knoffel,
I already told you it's Bobby.

Sure it is.

Ain't this something JT,
tonight we're hosting

Billy "Awful" Knoffel
and Bobby "Evil" Knievel.

Better double the guard.

Hey Petty-bone
give me a cigarette.

Bad for your health.

How's Mrs. Petty-bone
and all my kids?

Yea, yea, yea.

Can you spare a few of those
Evil my stomach's talking back.

Gotta get out of this town.
I'm just gonna wither and die.

Uh... yea.

That's disgusting.

Clears the bowels.

Let me tell you something,
it's not the man

who points out how a
strong man has stumbled.

Or that the doer of deeds
could have done better.

The real credit belongs to the

man who is
actually in the arena.

Whose face is marred
by dust and sweat

and blood...
who strives valiantly.

And who if he fails at least
he fails while daring greatly.

- Who said that?
- Theodor Roosevelt.

He ate peanuts this way too.
Wake up dummy.

Shut up in there.

Now go on get outta
here and stay outta trouble.

[sound of engine revving]

[folksy funky bluesy rock music]

Hey, Phil! Phil!

What uh I don't know,
yea, yea, yea

I'll meet you down
we'll go down.

Woo!

So then we get, we get...

[coughing]

Damn Phil, you alright?

Yea I just got something caught.

Something caught?
Like a hairball? You

been licking on a
kitty cat or something?

Hey man you alright man?
That's bad,

this place is gonna
eat your lungs up.

Gotta work, Bobby.

Yea like my gramp's
worked all his

life and can't hardly
breath no more.

You need to quit smoking.

[hard rock guitar riffs play]

[sighs]

The fork was all screwed up,
put in a new

clutch, a new chain and
that chain was stretched.

- Alright, what's the damage?
- It's on the house.

Alright thanks,
you need any hubcaps?

- They might.
- No, not this time.

You know Bobby you might think

about getting
yourself a real job.

Yea, spending my life
dying working in the mine ain't

working for me, I can't do
that anymore. Screw the mine.

- Screw the mines - I hear that.

Yea well hear this,
my life might be

short but it's gonna
be anything but dull.

[engine revving]

[Phil] Yea, it's comin' around

comin' around,
give me that money.

It's 2:1, that's $2 from you.

I need two dollars from you,
there's one for you.

[funky rock music]

♪ Aw let me tell you one
thing darlin' you should know ♪

♪ Aw let me tell you one thing ♪

[people cheering]

[Phil] Yea! You see that?

Come on.

Bike.

Hey, hang onto this for me,
will ya?

♪ Ah please remember ♪

♪ Uh hang on, hang on ♪

♪ Ah please remember,
please remember by and by ♪

Thanks.

♪ Ah we'll be watching
that night time baby ♪

♪ In the sky ♪

Don't pay attention to him.

Why not Charmaine?

Cause it's what he wants.

Oh but I think he's cute.

He's trouble.

Oh how much trouble
can he be Charmaine?

Let's do this! ASAP.

[people cheering]

Big cash baby. Yes, sir!
Bobby Knievel!

Ah!

Could maybe be
a little bit of trouble.

A little bit.

That's fast.

I was first.

Am I supposed to be scared?

Wow. Wow, where were the girls

like you when I
was in high school.

- I don't know.
- C'mon Linda.

- Hey, you wanna ride?
- I'll walk.

You sure?

In case you're wondering,
my name's Bobby.

I wasn't.

We all know who robbed the
jewelry store Mr. Bobby Knievel.

Yea, well I wasn't
talking to you, was I?

- And you won't neither!
- Charmaine.

It's ok.

Linda, he's a liar and a thief
and God knows what else.

Why don't you dump the
body guard? I'm unarmed.

- What'd you say?
- You heard me.

Charmaine,
why don't you all run ahead

and I'll catch
up with you later.

Fine, fine, c'mon girls.

Don't believe the half of
what they say about me.

- What half is that?
- God knows what half.

So is it true,
you robbed the jewelers?

What Copper Heads?

We got another one
I don't know about?

You gotta promise
not to tell your friends.

Well I don't make
deals with convicts.

Ouch, ok yea Copper Heads,
heard it got robbed

everybody thought I did it
anyway so I went to a pawn

shop bought a whole bunch
of costume jewelry, sold

it to people. They thought
it came from Copper Heads.

So you think you're
clever do you?

Yea.

You got a last name, Linda?

Bork.

Well, hop on Linda Bork.

I won't bite.

Just make sure you keep
both wheels on the ground.

Two wheels on the ground, Bobby!

[soft rock music]

- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- What, what, what, what?

I gotta get off here.

What do you mean,
you just got on.

I know but my
daddy is right there.

Hey pop.

Alright so um, see you around?

- Count on it.
- Alright.

Hey daddy.

Linda get back out here! I know
you're looking out that window.

Yes, sir.

Ow!

I hope you're getting
a good look at that

boy leaving...
cause it's your last one.

[old time upbeat rock and roll]

[Bobby] Hey are you an

actress or something?

Who are you supposed to be,
Paul Newman?

No, no, no I'm Steve McQueen.
Don't you

know we're getting
married tonight, Linda?

- Oh you think so do you?
- Oh I know so.

Well let me tell you what I'm

doing tonight Mr. Steve McQueen.

- What's that?
- I'm skating with Charmaine...

and then I have to
go home because

I have to sort out
my sock drawer.

That's the wrong answer.
You leave me no choice.

What, Bobby! This is not funny,
put me down! Charmaine!

You all keep an eye on her,
I'm calling the cops.

- I'll scream I swear it.
- Go ahead.

- I mean it I'm gonna scream.
- I'm gonna scream.

[screaming]

- Put me down.
- Is that the best you can do?

What did you think you're doing?

I'm saving you.

Do I look like I need saving?

You look like an angel.

[thunder clap]

[Linda]
Do you know where we're going?

Anywhere but Butte, Montana.

What's wrong with Butte?

What's right with Butte?

Hang on I gotta pull over,
my eyeballs are floating.

Hey you know everybody thinks
you're crazy, you know that?

I don't care what
everybody thinks about

me... except for you.
What do you think?

My jury's still out,
I just got kidnapped.

I'm sitting here
telling you I love you

and you're bringing
up technicalities?

Hey if you wanna go home
I'll take you back, right now.

No, I'm fine.

[tender music]

You're right,
maybe we should go home.

Why what's the matter?

- You're a lousy kisser.
- Bobby!

That is not funny.

[police siren]

- Uh oh.
- What's the matter?

Bacon.

Who? Oh my God.

Hey, what?

Knievel, don't you never learn?

Daddy it's not what you think.

Whoa, whoa.

You don't know what I think.

No, he didn't kidnap me though.
I

went with him cause I wanted to.

Let's go.

Daddy, I'm not leaving
here without Bobby.

Suit yourself.

You love my daughter?

Like a miner loves the sun.

What?

Yes, sir I swear it,
I swear to God I love her.

Don't mess with me me boy, ever!

You hear me?

Now you call the
house tomorrow for a

proper date...
and I'll talk to Mrs. Bork.

Can we go home now?

You're not done, Knievel.
Come here.

[classic rock music]

[kids arguing]

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.

Hi, it's the daredevils
station wagon.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Daddy,
can you take us for a ride?

No, no I can't right
now boys I'm working.

Oh please Dad, please.

- No, no go play on the bike.
- Yes!

- I get the red bike!
- I get the black bike!

- Don't knock 'em over.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Working hard?

Hardly working.

Anybody stop by today?

Couple of people to
challenge me in arm

wrestling but this just
isn't getting it done.

You know you don't
have to do this. Why

don't you go back to
selling life insurance?

Those people nearly
had a heart attack that

time you nearly sold
150 policies that week.

Oh yea you mean
the 150 policies I sold

to the nut jobs in the
insane asylum? Yea.

- Hey, Phil.
- Hi.

- Hey man.
- Hey, Bobby.

I gotta get back to work, Bobby.

You get it right?
Did you spell it right?

- I don't know... maybe.
- Get what right.

Bobby, what are you up to?

Bobby's up to nothing
but Evel Knievel's

got a plan that will
blow their minds.

This will make the Joey Chitwood

daredevil show
look like a flea circus.

You when you kidnapped
me and asked if I thought you

were crazy? Changed my mind,
I know you're crazy.

That's alright, you like crazy.

Kinda.

[cat growling]

C'mon baby.

Oh yea, she is a big kitty.

Ok,
this here is the exit ramp so I

kinda thought
we'd tie her up here.

Bobby, I don't think so.

- Huh?
- That ain't safe.

No, no it's no sweat
I'm gonna jump right over

her man. It's very safe
don't worry about it.

I prefer if we're down on
the other end on the entrance.

Ok, Phil.

Bring those snakes
down here on this end.

I'm not touching these things,
Bobby, you come and get 'em.

- You're not picking 'em up?
- I am not doing that.

Well pick up the snakes
and bring 'em over here.

- No, I'm not gonna do that.
- You're not gonna what?

Well I'm not bringing
the snakes down there.

- Yea, you are.
- Oh no I'm not.

I'm not picking 'em up.

Then you gotta go to the ground.

Well then you come
and take me down to the

ground.
Yea, you bring your best c'mon.

It's either down there or
she's back on the truck.

Not around the face.

[upbeat swing time music]

I will fight.

[Phil] Now ladies and gentlemen.

A dollar a piece.

Would you be so kind
as to support Evel Knievel

Enterprises I would
thoroughly appreciate it.

Thank you people.

Keep your seats the big jump is

coming up here in
a couple seconds.

Thank you sir, thank you
very much. That's a dollar a

piece. Remember you are
all part of American history.

What you witness
here today will never be

done again and has
never been done before.

Find a place to sit and watch.

[Phil] One dollar.

[kid]
What if daddy don't make it?

Daddy will make it, Robby.

You're just afraid the
rattlesnakes will get ya.

Hey, well those cougars
are gonna bite your butt off.

Robby,
where'd you hear talk like that?

Daddy says it all the time.

- Shut up dunce.
- Ok, boys.

Enough.

The snakes are real,
they're very

poisonous please stay
away from the snakes.

Now the big jump is coming up,
can we have

a round of applause
for Evel Knievel please?

Thank you very much.

There has never
been one like it, there

will never be
another one like it.

Now you gotta remember
when you get to the other end

you gotta hit them brakes
quick that's just gravel.

- Yea, yea it's no problem.
- Alright, it's no problem.

- Evel Knievel style?
- Evel Knievel style!

- Let's do it.
- Yea, let's do it.

- Alright.
- Alright hang on.

What? Hang on.

Alright, sit down.

Fine?

[upbeat old time rock music]

Look there's dad.

Woo ha! Let's go!
Do it, do it, do it, do it!

That's it, that's it, that's it.

[crowd cheering]

Wave to daddy.

Yes!

You remember that name folks,
Evel Knievel.

[tense rock music]

Too short!

[people exclaiming]

Oh my!

[people yelling]

Snakes, snakes!

Oh my God,
Kelly watch your brother

Robby,
Robby don't leave your brother.

Bobby, somebody help!

Help!

Now this, I bet you people
would pay to see this!

Ah, Bobby!

[drum roll]

[patriotic music]

Hello there,
my name is Evel Knievel

and I am a
professional daredevil.

What you're about to
see is a compilation, some

highlights and some low lights
from my very own spectacle.

Evel Knievel's daredevil show.

I hope you enjoy it
and come on out the

next time we're in
the neighborhood.

Thank you very much for your
time and God bless America.

[man] Yea, well you

tell him what I said.

What's this jackpots name again?

Knievel, Evel Knievel.

I'll call you back.

We've been getting
calls all week about him.

Life, Wide World of Sports,
Sports Illustrated...

each one sent a
different piece of film.

He's got this daredevil
show and he crosses

the country jumping for
some pretty big crowds.

And he wants to
jump my fountains?

That's right.

Must be a city block from end
to end. He got a death wish?

How's this for a death wish?

Oh!

Oh.

He claims he's gonna
jump the Grand Canyon.

Could be a nice draw DJ,
inspire the

suckers to take a few
chances at the tables.

[woman paging] Mr. Sarnote,

I have Mike Rosenstein

from Evel Knievel
Enterprises on the line.

Yea?

[thick accent speaking on phone]

Sarnote, please sit down.

He's here but everybody wants
a piece of him ok? Everybody.

I'll do you a
favor and I'll tell

him to stop by. That's ok, I'll

tell you I'll call
you after you've

met the kid and we'll talk, ok?

That was the worst
accent I've ever heard.

It was bad but I think
it worked, I'm going up.

You... you're not gonna go
up there like that are you?

What's wrong
with the way I look?

Oh we're gonna buy
you some new clothes.

What... what's wrong with these

clothes?
These clothes look just fine.

Hey, kid! Where you been?

- We've been looking for ya.
- Have ya now?

Well I'm sorry I've
been real busy.

Can I get you something
to drink Mr. Knievel?

Wild Turkey on the rocks?

I hear you wanna jump over my
fountains... on a "motorcicle".

- The jumps only part of it.
- Yea?

Which part?

Well the best part.

See the jumps like your orgasm,
then you

got your foreplay
and your after-play.

It's all part of the whole
Evel Knievel experience.

Orgasm?

Well the jump
only lasts a couple

of seconds so I
gotta build 'em up.

Come out, make an entrance,
wave to the

crowd. Give a speech
about the importance

of keeping your word,
warn all the young

kids about the hazards
of my profession.

Then I'll say something
like I'm not sure if

I'll make it or not, thanks,
then rock and roll.

Go on.

So at the same
time I'm telling them

how exciting and
dangerous what I'm

about to do is,
I tell the mommas "don't

let your babies
grow up to be Evel".

I... I don't get it.

Well that gets the
women on my side. See

what I'm saying is
I'm both good and bad.

Isn't that the way that
all women like their men?

All this talk, is it necessary?

Well yes it's necessary, Jay.
Listen,

I'm an expert on this man.
Women and

kids love to come
see me talk and men,

well men love to
come see me crash.

Don't play me for a sucker, boy.

That's something
I'm an expert on.

Well then we got us two experts

Mr. Sarnote.
I think we'll be alright.

You won't be disappointed,
I promise you.

- Ok, I'm still on the ramp.
- Alright.

I told you that things
been running hot.

Ray, can you help
Phil pull this head out?

That's a long way
across Mr. Knievel.

Further than the Wright brothers
flew the Spirit of Saint Luis

Heard you wanted Wild
World of Sports to cover it.

You know my name...
let's hear yours.

John Derrick.

That actor?

And director.

Ok, I'm ready.

Look, you're the
start of my next film.

Hey sweetheart.
You need some help with that?

I don't know, do I?

Well I'll tell you what,
why don't you set it down right

there and I'll get it.
Maybe we'll share a beer later.

Well sure.

Can my... husband come too?

- What?
- Yea, say hi to my wife...

Linda Evans. She's an actress,
she's destined for great things.

Is that right?

And she's my camera operator.

Well are you great
with the camera too,

or is that just dressing
on the wound?

If you can jump it,
I can shoot it.

You just try to keep
me in the picture,

honey. You Hey uh,
you guys know John Wayne?

Yea.

Tell him I said he's a wuss.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ Hold me the breeze ♪

♪ I keep going down the road ♪

♪ Well now they
call me the breeze ♪

♪ I keep blowing down the road ♪

♪ I ain't go me no... ♪

Nice draw.

Everybody loves a party.

♪ I don't care of me no more ♪

Where's the other
bottle of Turkey?

Keepin' it where it
can't get into trouble.

Yea well it's already
in trouble let's

just send it to the
principles office.

I'm serious man!

Well I hope you're
not playing poker

cause I can read
you like a book.

Yup.

Would you see all
these people out here?

Man that's amazing.

Of course 5% came to see me die.

The other 45% don't care
if I die but... if it happens.

They don't wanna miss it.

Well that's 50% on your side,
pullin' for ya.

Well if it wasn't for me they
wouldn't have anything to do and

if it wasn't for them... I'd
be either in jail or dead so...

It kind of works
out for everybody.

- Zip it!
- I ain't saying nothing.

Yea well you think
too damn loud, Phil.

If he doesn't make
it it'll be a wake.

Well it'll keep 'em happy at the
tables whichever way it goes.

You see.

[woman] Go get 'em babe.

[Evel]
Ok, this is it. Man enough?

Damn right I am!

Oh my God!

[crowd exclaiming]

Linda!

I got it.

[man] Ok, move it, move it.

I'm on my way Jay,
I'll take care of it.

[man]
Let us through. Let 'em through.

- That's my husband!
- Let 'em through.

[people talking]

- You need to stay down.
- No, no, no, no.

Stay back.

Mam,
he needs to get to the hospital.

I'm his wife!

Bobby!

I'm coming Bobby! Bobby!

Come on, come on. Move, move!

[ambulance siren]

[tense music]

[people talking
hectically in background]

[man] Respirator.

[phone rings]

Excuse me.

ER.

Excuse me, I just wanna
know if my husband's ok. Excuse

me. All I wanna know is
if my husband is alright.

He's in surgery right now.

I got that part, I'm not asking
to see him I wanna know what's

happening, if my husband is...
I wanna know if my husband...

- I wanna know what's happening!
- Mam, can I...

This is supposed
to be at the lab.

If somebody doesn't
tell me what's happening

I swear I will scream
so loud and so

long that the police
will come here and

arrest you just for
the look on my face.

Mrs. Knievel would
like to speak with you.

[woman]
Yes, alright I will have him...

The doctor will
be right with you.

[man] Thank you very much.

Thank you.
It wasn't so hard now was it?

Bobby's suffered massive trauma,
his

pelvis was crushed,
his femur was pushed

up through his pelvis
and we have steel

rods in there
holding it all together.

He's also fractured
half his ribs and he's

broken his right arm
and his right hand.

And he has internal injuries to
his spleen and his kidney, and I

haven't even touched
on the contusions

and lacerations and abrasions.

No, there's no good way
to say this, he's suffered

a severe brain concussion
and he's in a coma.

Now if he comes out of it...

we don't think he's
gonna walk again.

But if he does walk...
he's never

ever gonna ride a bike again.

I'm here, Bobby. I'm here.

So the kids are doing well.

Robby's taking it pretty
hard though, he clams

up, he wants to be a
hard man like his dad.

Kelly keeps asking me questions.
I

keep saying you know
daddy's gonna be...

I'm just gonna check on him.

Oh, hey Trish.

You know I talk
to him because it

makes me feel better, I don't...

I don't actually think he
can hear me or anything.

You never know.

No, you never do.

[soft disconcerting music]

Well hey.

Linda.

Hey, hey... hey.

Hey... hey.

Come here.

You don't look too
happy to see me.

I thought you'd...

Oh that's alright,
oh it's alright.

I'm still here, I'm still here.

I thought I'd lost you.

Hey.

Nothing can kill me you
know that. I'm Evel Knievel.

Yea.

How long was I out?

Twenty-nine days.

Twenty-nine days.

You never gave up on me?
You never let go?

I never let go.

Alright now before
we show you Evel's

spectacular leap
over the fountains

at Caesar's Palace,
let me warn you.

This raw footage
is pretty shocking

However it's good to know
the daredevil himself survived.

He's set to leave the
hospital tomorrow morning.

Alright, here it is.
Evel Knievel.

Oh.

Shut it off.

I said shut it off!

C'mon, turn it off.

That's it show's over. That's
it, daddy's gotta get some rest.

C'mon

Ok.

Alright.

We'll get it later.

Linda,
get Trish in here I'm in pain!

In here,
what kind of hospital is this!

God.

Yes, Mr. Knievel.

Trish, I'm in pain dammit.
I need my morphine.

Put a sock in it,
Bobby I'm coming.

I'm gonna be the
one passing out socks,

I'm gonna come
in there in a minute.

Bye Linda. Bye Bobby.

Bye, thanks you.

Mr. Knievel, Mr. Knievel.

Mind giving me an autograph? I'm
sorry, I don't have any paper.

Paper?

Who needs paper,
come here darlin'.

Can I give him a
kiss Mrs. Knievel?

Have at it honey,
everybody else does.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm/

Bye.

[woman] Bye, Evel.

[woman] There he is!

What the hell is that?

I have no idea.

Crowd cheering.

Evel.

[man] Evel.

Evel, Evel.

Was that your last jump?
Are ya done?

Done?

Aw here it goes.

Does it look like I'm done?

There's a rumor
that you're thinking

of jumping the Grand Canyon.

It's not a rumor it's a fact.

Evel, come on you know how far
it is across the Grand Canyon.

Well I saw it in
a poster in a bar

once.
I thought this canyon's too

big for jumping but you know the
more I drank the littler it got.

[people laughing]

[parade marching band music]

Hi, Bobby.

[woman] Can I have a hug?

Hey.

See that card over there?

Keep the nails, Bobby!

Beat the man!

[sweet rock guitar riff plays]

So uh,
where's the name Evel come from?

Well Steve McQueen challenged
me to a race awhile back and I

think he thought he was pretty

hot stuff with a motorcycle,
yea?

Well I showed him
what hot stuff is.

Anyway,
after it was over he said man...

Pure evil.

So what is it,
he got a death wish?

I think probably more than
that he's got a money wish.

Oh everybody's gonna die.
Nobody gets out

of this world alive,
ain't that right Phil?

That's right, nobody.

- Nobody - Nobody, sir.

And if anybody does you're gonna
let me know about it, right?

- You got that right.
- So what you're saying then is

pretty much anyone can do it,
right? All you

gotta do is grab the
handle bars and fly.

You think it's easy
to stare death in the

face? I tell you what big boy,
you try it!

Try it.

[bluesy rock music]

So what do you say to people
who accuse you of pandering.

I think of General
Patton when he

said,
"it's not the man who points out

how the strong man stumbled,
the credit

belongs to the
man in the arena".

"Who if he fails,
fails while daring greatly."

Yes!

You see that's the difference
between the little man and the

great man, we get knocked down
but we don't get knocked up.

I thought Bobby was a hellion, I

chased him all
over this damn town.

I uh I thought it was Teddy
Roosevelt who said that.

Oh yea that's right it was,
he heard it from General Patton.

I tell ya I ain't
ever seen anything

like that boy.
Not before and not since.

Whoa, no, no!

Nice drive!

Is it?
It's no where close to the flag.

It's a par 4,
you're not expected to

reach the flag
on your first shot.

Right.

You ever played before?

Nah I've played hockey, it's
just like hotting a slap shot.

Well you know
there are some things

about this game I
think I'm gonna like.

Well you stroked a nice ball,
son,

right in the middle
of the fairway.

Yea and I hadn't even
had my first beer yet.

You going back on the road, Bob?

It's kinda hard not to
with all the money they're

throwing at me. I always
wondered something, John.

Why'd you let Linda and
I have the green light?

Wouldn't have done
any good not to.

The thing about Linda is
she always took in strays.

Rabbits, cats, dogs, birds,
whatever. She'd hide 'em under

the bed, in the closet...
the girls got a soft heart.

But a hard head.

Well I noticed.

That and you got grit...
I like grit.

[soft laid back music]

Well what do you think?

It, it's so big.

I love it.

Yea, me too c'mon.

C'mon I'll give you the tour.

Ta-da.

What.

What don't you like?

No, I like it.

But what?

Bobby, this just costs
way too much money.

C'mon sweetheart
we're rolling in it.

I know but I don't... I don't
really wanna spend it here

without you and the kid don't
want you gone all the time.

I'm going back out on the road,
we already discussed this.

Wait a minute,
we never discussed this!

What do you want me to
stay home? Get a regular

job selling used cars
or tires or something?

Well forget it!

I'm the guy who jumps bikes,
that's what I do.

You know you
get all the attention

in the world it'll
never be enough.

Oh c'mon cut the crap.
I do what makes me happy!

Those fans need me just
as much as I need them.

You think that
they actually give

a damn about what
happens to you?

Do you really think that
those people would lay by your

bedside for 29 days while
you're dead to the world?

You know what,
if you don't want the house...

I was there! I didn't leave you!

Look, you want love...
you got all the love

you need right here.
All the love in the world.

I love you, Bobby.
I love you so much

and I see you
hurting all the time.

And it's breaking my heart.

Maybe you didn't hear me,
I said I

jump bikes Linda.
That's what I do

You go and do whatever
it is you gotta do.

[disconcerting music]

I like this project people,
let's have all the final

paperwork on my desk by the end

of business today.
Alright? Good.

Well so nice of you to join us,
Pryer. What the hell happened

to you? Looks like you had
a run in with Cassius Clay.

I didn't believe it but...

Cow Palace was packed,
sold out and

at least half of them were kids.

Evel rides in in this red, white

and blue getup to
address the crowd.

I'm down in front next
to a bunch of bikers

that have been drinking
and uh heckling...

Now I'm thinking
it's probably not

a good place for
a brother to be.

Now Evel ignores them but after

awhile he starts
laying into them.

Called them scum and
told them to get lost.

Why don't you get on
with your show pretty boy.

- Why don't you shut your mouth!
- You shut your mouth...

As he was headed
for this jump I see

this biker dude
throw this tire iron...

Now he's gone.

Man, jerks.

Now that is when I should
have gotten out of there.

That's right, c'mon Buddy.

Evel comes back around and jumps
on the biker that threw the

tire iron. The bikers pile on
him, they were gonna kill him!

[man] C'mon!

And that's when it happened.
Evel's fans, nice

everyday people beat
the crap outta those bikers!

I'm talking mothers,
grandmothers

swatting these big guys

with their purses, anything
they could get their hands on.

Anything.

Evel...
is more than just a folk hero.

And this...
is what Ideal Toys should make.

What's the research like, Bryan?

He is the most
recognized man in America,

men admire him,
women wanna sleep with him.

And kids wanna be like him.

Well ladies and gentlemen...
GI Joe and Barbie better

start running we're gonna
jump on Evel Knievel.

This trailer cost $91,000,
it has wall to wall

carpeting and
everything a man could

possibly want including
a fully stocked bar

with hot and cold running
Olympia Beer on tap.

Now, when the Ideal Toy company

came to me and
they said they want

to make an Evel Knievel doll,

action figure
whatever you call it.

They said, Evel what
would you like it to be like?

And I said,
make it indestructible.

[men] Yea. That's right.

Young lady what's your name?

Lily.

Lily,
you wanna come up on stage for

me? Let's hear it
for Lily everybody.

[crowd] Alright. Woo.

Here you go, thank you Lily.

Make it indestructible,
make it so

tough that a tractor
could run over it,

a nuclear bomb
could explode on top of

it and it would go
on and on and on.

Just like this great
nation of ours.

You could not destroy this
Evel Knievel action figure...

just as you could not destroy
the United States of America.

That's right.

Now between you
and me we're selling

out pretty fast so...
get while the

gettin's good and
God bless America.

Thank you for
coming out today folks.

[patriot music plays]

What, what, what?

We gotta be in Toledo early.

Yea, well we're not going
to Ohio anymore, Phil.

Man, we're we going?
We're going home.

Oh no.

Ok, sunshine party's over.
We had a good time, it was a lot

of fun and now you have a story
to tell your grand kids, right?

Oh God.

Shut the door on your way out?

♪ Fires are burning,
doors are swingin' wide ♪

[fast paced rock music]

♪ Whoa fires are burnin',
doors are swinging... ♪

- Ooh.
- And he fucked it up.

♪ Ah we're rollin' out the ♪

♪ smokehouse down
by the riverside ♪

♪ Fan the flames,
baby shake 'em on down ♪

♪ Ah fan the flames,
shake 'em on down ♪

You're under arrest.

Oh God, you almost gave me a
heart attack, you little bugger.

Good,
you're not drinking are ya?

- Yes, I am.
- Hey, Bob!

Good to have you back,
get over here I

wanna take some of
that money of yours.

Toby,
another round of Olympia and

Montana mule for my
long lost son in law.

You taking the boys
fishing this weekend?

If it's alright with you.

Hell no it's not
alright with me that's

why I came down here.
I'm not invited?

Maybe as long as
we don't have to cram

that damn motorcycle
of yours in the raft.

No, no, no, no sir Awful.
If you play that ridiculous

crap again I'm gonna come
down there and whoop your ass.

Damn,
my finger must have slipped.

I was gonna play
George Hamilton's

favorite song, "Viva Las Vegas".

- Philip.
- Good to see you man.

- Bob!
- Yea.

You set a date for
the Grand Canyon yet?

Here Mr. Bork.

Hey there Mr. Bobby Knievel.

Oh my God, Charmaine.

He cleans up real
good don't he Mr. Bork?

You still robbin' banks Bobby?

You still busting balls,
Charmaine?

Every chance I get. Cheers.

Cheers.

No, I can't make a deal on the
Grand Canyon the government's

chicken.
I am gonna jump a canyon

I just gotta find the right one.

I was kinda hoping
you'd stick around son,

I got nobody to trade
lies with anymore.

- Hey Bobby.
- Yea.

You thought about Snake
River down by Twin Falls?

In Idaho?

Yea, it's real pretty my ex
has got a place down there.

- Really?
- Mhm.

Good, I'll keep it in mind.

You know, Bob...
it's gonna... be a little

tricky for you to
pull all this off.

I suppose.

No,
I'm not talking about the Grand

Canyon or the Snake River son,

I'm talking about
you staying alive

long enough to spend your money.

[soft rock ballad plays]

♪ Once he's made his mind up
there's nothing he won't try ♪

♪ There's something
deep inside him ♪

Charmaine,
wake up we're almost there.

♪ Lusting for the
drills that tried him ♪

♪ Yet he knows someday... ♪

Mm, I'm fine now.

♪ That he's gonna have to
face that canyon in the sky ♪

♪ They're standing toe to toe ♪

♪ the man against the canyon ♪

♪ and the canyon seems to dare ♪

♪ come jump me if you can ♪

♪ He gave his solemn word and he
knows he can't turn back now ♪

♪ He must face a test that
no man has ever known ♪

♪ He can move a mountain,
leap across a winding river ♪

♪ Once he's made his mind up,
there's nothing he won't try ♪

♪ There's something
deep inside him

lusting for the drills
that tried him ♪

- Alright.
- Yea.

[grandpa] Ok, now you

feel that current boys?
Pulling us along.

[Evel] Haha, here we go.

No TV, no phones...

There's good water up ahead,
you see that right up there?

[grandpa]
You know boys this river was

sacred to the Indians.

Lewis and Clark
came through here.

Who are they?

They were the first white men
to come through these parts.

That was the second
white man to come through.

Oh yea, here we go this is
better than fishing, right guys?

[boy] C'mon stay back.

[gramps] C'mon.

Bob,
I think we better get to shore!

No, we're alright.

You guys holding on back there?

Yea, we're ok we're
fine past this part.

[gramps] Crow.

[Evel] C'mon guys.

Bob, get it away from
those damn rocks!

[Evel] We'll be alright,

we'll be alright.

- Yow!
- Watch out for that rock!

Dad!

Bob!

[boy] Help!

Help, Dad!

Hey.

I swear.

Help!

- Hey.
- Grandpa!

Robby!

Help.

I got you son, I got you.

Dad, help!

Hang onto me.

Grandpa.

Go around!

- Right there.
- Grandpa.

- Hold on.
- Grandpa!

No! Grandpa! Grandpa!

Jay!

- Grandpa!
- Grandpa!

- Jack!
- Grandpa!

Jay!

[tense music]

[boy] Grandpa hang on!

Jay!

Help me.

Help me!

Jay!

Lord we pray for a safe journey
for your child, John Bork.

As you welcome him
back into your kingdom.

We ask this in the name of the

father, the son and
the holy ghost. Amen.

[crowd] Amen.

[somber music]

I just couldn't get to him.

It was an accident, nobody
blames you for what happened.

When we first met
I hated his guts.

But now I know he was
more like a father to me.

God, I'm gonna miss him.

This tour,
I'm postponing this tour.

- No.
- Yea.

No, you can't. You can't do that
not like this. You need to go.

Jump over the moon, Bobby.
We'll all come see you. K?

Come on listen we
gotta get this moving,

everything has to
be out of the way.

Now guys listen,
this is gonna fire.

Ok, folks gather
around we're about ready

to get started.
Come on in here and get

where you can see,
we'll get this show

on the road.
Thanks for coming out today.

Now ladies and gentlemen what
you're about to witness is a

testament to the genius of my
engineer NASA man, Bob Truax!

[rock music]

Now we'll get this
show on the road.

I give you... the X2 Sky-sight.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Come on.

[tense music]

Come on boys let's go, c'mon.

Everybody alright? Everything's
ok, we just got some

kinks to work out.
That's right it's a prototype.

It's too late for the Bob we're

not...
cause you can't postpone this.

These things happen, these
guys are getting rich off me.

Yes you Bob, you're getting
rich off me. Fine. I'll write

you a check. Well that's all
you're gonna get, a check.

Just... alright... just um, Bob.

Fine, fine, fine. Jeez. This son

of a bitch jump's
gonna be my ruin.

I mean the money is going
out as fast as it's coming in.

Why don't you get
somebody else to pay for it?

Ok, um who?

What about them?

ABC's wide world of sports?

Yea, they televise
all kinds of crazy stuff.

I'd like to present this check
for $6,000,000 in preparation

for the great Snake River
Canyon jump. Here you go, Evel.

Ooh.

Now Top Ranked
will be broadcasting

this world shaking event

at closed circuit locations
nationwide on September the 8th.

We've taken to calling it the
Evel Knievel says goodbye tour.

Evel,
does goodbye mean you don't

believe you can make it across?

No, no, no that's not what
it means. It means that

after this jump I'll be
saying goodbye to you all.

I'm taking my $6,000,000
and riding off into the sunset.

Well let me put
this down for you.

How you plan on spending it,
Evel?

I'm blowing every penny.

Why don't we have Evel take you
step by step through this jump.

Sure no problem Bob, thanks.
Now my NASA engineer, Bob Truax

has achieved nothing short of

perfection with
the X2 Sky-sight.

I'll be accelerating from 0 -
200 in 2.5 seconds. By the time

I reach that launch pad I'll
be going 394 miles per hour.

Chances are I'll black out,
that's what 5G's will do to you.

Fifteen seconds later I
will reach my apex of 300

feet where I will slow
to 200 miles per hour...

Now it's at that point
that a parachute will

deploy and I will more
than likely red out.

That is I will lose blood
from my eyes, nose,

ears and mouth as it
rushes back into my head.

Now the last minute I will
be descending slower and

slower until I touch down
nose first, climb out...

and flip the bird to
you all who said it

couldn't be done,
you know who you are.

We hear your
prototypes have all failed.

That's cause I wasn't in 'em.

It's gonna be a lot different
when Evel Knievel's the pilot.

What do you think of the so
called "Knievel Phenomenon" kids

are actually getting hurt
trying to duplicate your stunts.

Well as far as I'm concerned
I'm a great roll model... You

know if I was a parent I would
want my kids taking chances;

living in the sunlight,
not hiding or

cowering from life.
That's no way to live.

Yea, even if it means
the kids paralyzed for life?

Hey who let Gloomy Guss in here?
Was that you Bob?

- It wasn't me.
- Security.

Ok, thank you that's it.
Now let's give Evel a hand here.

Party at the Snake River.

[funky 70's music]

Three streets, yea?
Let's go have some drinks. Woo!

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Wahoo.

Are those diamonds real?

Are those real?

Why don't you find out.

You know this cane was given
to me by Mohamed Ali. He said

I may be the greatest but
Evel Knievel is the farthest

outest. He is the white
Mohamed Ali. And I said no, no

you're wrong you my friend
you are the black Evel Knievel.

Ow! Hoo, hoo, hoo!

[door slamming]

Hey.

Hey.

Where are the kids?

At school.

Oh... yea... that's right.

You want something?

No.

No, I'm good with juice.

You have something
you wanna say.

Nope.

You sure?

I'm your wife, Bobby,
not your jailor.

Then I guess you
don't care if I take

the kids to Toronto
this weekend?

Since when have
you ever given a damn

about my opinion
on anything you do?

You know what?
I think it's a great idea,

I think it's great.
Go ahead, go ahead.

It'll give them something
to remember you by.

Oh and Bobby.

Hmm?

Don't you dare whore around
in front of those boys, ok?

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen
you all know about the

big party coming up at
the Snake River, right?

Now I'd love for
you all to join me

but if you can't please...
watch it

on closed circuit television.
You will

not want to miss it,
I promise you.

It is with great
pride and extreme

pleasure that I introduce my

sons to you here tonight. Kelly,
where are you boy? Come on out.

Kelly Knievel.

Robby, come on out and
show 'em what you got.

Alright.

Ha-ha! Good job son.
Ok... the Knievel's!

Stayed, they're fast, good job,
Robby. Good job boys.

Ok, you hang onto your seat,
I'll hang onto these handle bars

and see if we can get this bike

over these cars.
What do you say?

[crowd cheering]

Cool.

I told you already the
equipment has to be outta here

before we do this. I told
you already, now get it out!

Come on talk to me here,
Bob, what's going on now?

You're gonna see a vast
improvement this time.

- Yea, well I better.
- You will.

[tense music]

Man, that's great!
Maybe I'll just do figure

eights all the way
across the canyon, Bob.

The last one's yours.

Hey! Watch your mouth, Bob!
Watch your mouth.

You have a significant
cash flow problem.

Yea, what else is new?

You're getting
calls from the IRS.

The government says that
you owe a tremendous...

I owe, I owe, I owe
that's all I hear outta you

four eyes.
I'm tired of this crap.

Slide over. I said slide over.

Didn't know he knew how to fly.

Oh he don't but he's
getting better. You're

getting better,
you're getting better, Bobby?

Uh not really.

He's flying this plane
without a license?

Yup.

He can do that?

His plane. You might wanna
buckle up there yule burner.

How'd it go today?

I don't know.

Tell me anyway.

I'm a goner.

Don't jump, Bobby.

It's not that easy babe.
It's not

something I can
just decide not to do.

Why?

Cause I gave my word,
that's why.

You do something
long enough like

it or not.
It becomes who you are.

Even if it means never
seeing this little girl

again? And our two beautiful
boys in the other room?

None of the test
jumps even worked.

Call the damn thing off.

If I quit now it'll just kill
me slower you know that.

It's just pride, Bobby.

That's all that is.

Some days I don't
understand you at all.

But I do know that you're
gonna do what you have to do.

That's right.

All or nothing now.

Came from nothing,
never had nothing.

All sounds pretty good to me.

Just come back to us, ok?

Just come back.

Ok, come on.

Get in.

Come on.

Where's he going?

Hmm, I don't know he went to
get another jacket or something.

He has got a jacket on!

Well I don't know,
he wants to wear

two jackets we're late as it is.

- That is just, you know what...
- Please.

You know what, honestly.

I don't know, you know the boy.

[Linda arguing]

[Evel] Well maybe he

wants heavy jacket.

[Linda] He's already

acting just like you.

[rock and roll music,
heavy guitar riff]

♪ Slow ride ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Slow ride ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Slow ride ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Slow ride ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Moving the groove ♪

♪ The river runs right ♪

♪ Move to the music ♪

♪ We can roll all night ♪

♪ Slow ride ♪

[crowd] Evel, Evel, Evel!

Everybody listen up here,
Wrench.

Pipe down please.

Ladies and gentlemen I know
you're all excited to be here

today. I know you've been
waiting anxious for this moment.

You all action packed to see
this Evel Knievel, he's gonna

take that rocket and he's
gonna jump over that canyon.

Alright!

You man enough to do this?

Are you man enough
to make this jump?

[tense music]

[crowd] Evel! Evel! Evel!

Are you man enough to walk away?

[crowd] Evel! Evel! Evel!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Evel Knievel!

[man]
Evel what are you thoughts...

Let's go up four, take four.

When I crashed at Caesar's the
doctors said I was gonna die.

When I didn't die they
said I'd never walk again.

When I walked again
they said I'd never

jump again,
well I'm jumping again.

Hey Evel!

People are saying
that all you're serving up

the American public is
some high octane crap.

You shut up,
you shut your mouth.

I'm about to jump a canyon,
let's see

you do it or sit
your fat ass down.

Yea.

And next time you see me,
Mr. Bob

Wolf, put a smile on your face.

I don't smile for anyone.

That's totally gonzo.

Get him out!
Get him out! I don't

have to take stuff like this!

I need my camera.

I'll take that camera
and shove it in your ear.

[crowd heckling journalist]

Get him out! Go on!

Go two.

You'll do one thing... I don't

ask for your
respect I demand it.

I wish I didn't have to do this,
but

I'm gonna do it.
Cause I'm Evel Knievel.

Crap.

I'm the last gladiator in
the new Rome and that's it.

Lord we humbly
pray that you will

that you will watch over Evel.

Protect him in flight...
and guide him to a safe landing.

Whether it be on
Earth or in heaven. Amen.

Thank you, father.

[crowd cheering]

[tense music]

Alright, it's one minute and
counting. One minute to go here.

One minute to go before Evel

attempts to a 1500
foot jump across

the Snake River Canyon,
something

that's never been tried before.

Bob.

Bob!

Evel!

Remember, launch with the button
on your left hand and don't

forget, pull the lever with
your right for the parachute.

Good luck.

[broadcaster]
Ok, can everybody in

the booth be silent right now.
This

is the time when
he sells himself

on the idea that he can do this.

Jim, all I can tell you is
happy landing to Evel Knievel.

I've never seen
anything like this.

God... here I come...
ready or not.

Alright, here he goes.

He's got it, that's it Evel.
Stay with that bird.

Camera two,
cut it tighter, tighter.

[broadcaster] He's going,

he's going up, wait

there's some kind,
there's some kind of

problem here.
There's some kind of a mistake.

It looks like the
parachute has deployed.

It looks like he's
going into the river.

Jim, I don't know if it was
deliberate or a malfunction. The

ships going down, it looks like
he's going down into the river.

That's it now, there he is he's
below the roof of the canyon.

He's gonna, he's gonna crash.
If he goes

into the water
he'll drown for sure.

They've got safety
divers down there but I

don't know if they
can get to him on time.

[diver] There! Half way!

I think he's going
into the water.

[crowd exclaiming]

[tense music]

Robert Craig Knievel did not
clear the Snake River Canyon,

the 1500 foot jump that he
has worked so hard to make.

We think he may
be dead or drowning.

Get those boats ready to go!

[ominous music]

[broadcaster] What's that?

It appears that he has landed,
he's

on the bank.
He's landed on the bank.

Bobby!

Bobby,

Jimmy, we're over here!

[crowd booing]

You suck!

[broadcaster]
And it looks like he's alright

Robert Craig
Knievel did not drown

and they're bringing him back

up from the boat
to the helicopter

here. Man, that's great news.

I tell you, you don't see this
kind of crazy stuff on a heavy

weight fight. People are getting
the greatest show on Earth here.

[crowd booing]

[woman] Evel. Evel,

what happened out there?

I don't know what happened,
I don't know

what happened.
I tried to steer it, if

I went in the river
it would have been

over I would have
never gotten out ever!

It looked like you were having
problems with the 'chute was...

Evel, Evel are you
planning on apologizing...

No, I'm never apologizing to
that fat ass and if he comes

back here I'll throw him out
again and he can kiss my ass.

You know what? You can kiss my

ass too,
you can all kiss my ass.

[man] You suck man!

Well there you have it.
Pucker up gentlemen,

we're all gonna be
kissing Evel's ass.

[TV] And here he is,

the man of the hour,
Richard Petty.

Back in victory lane
here at Daytona.

What a great day for this team.
This

STP team they
were flawless all day.

I think the key for the
victory here for the Petty

Enterprise team was this
move right here. Let's go

back about 10 laps to go,
the move that Richard Petty

made right here on Benny
Parsons for the victory.

This was the key all day long...

What?

So you're just,
you're just gonna sit there?

[TV]
Richard Petty again the victor...

Wait, Linda, Linda don't.

For how long?

How long what?

Are you just gonna sit there?

Did you see what
they're writing about me?

The great rip off.

The anti climax of the decade.

Did Evel pull the 'chute?

Did I pull the 'chute!
They think I pulled the

'chute! It deployed
and they think I pulled it.

Since when have
you been a quitter?

Oh I'm not a quitter
but they're calling

me a fake and liar
and that pisses me off.

You know what a lot of guys, a
lot of guys said they could jump

that Snake River but I didn't
see a line of them behind me.

So what happened to the
man who refused to lay down

and die, the man who always
gets back up on his feet?

I don't know,
I don't know, he's gone.

So...

That's it.
So what, you just gonna sit

around here and
feel sorry for yourself?

Damn you, Bobby!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What am I supposed to do? Huh?

Now what do you want me to do?

You don't like what those people
are saying about Snake River,

then get the hell off of your
ass and go defend yourself!

You want your fans back? Then
get the hell up and go get them

I wanna change
the number of buses.

Thirteen's an unlucky number.

I'll tell the boys it's
gonna be 12. Hey, Jimmy!

No, no, no, no you uh...
better make it 14.

You ain't cleared 13 buses.

Yea, I'm aware of that.

- Yea.
- Phil.

Yea?

But this is the first time the

American public
has seen me since

Snake River, it's gotta me good
so it's gonna be 14 or nothing.

You ain't gonna clear 14.

- Well thanks a lot pal.
- Sorry.

Sorry my ass!
You know if this conversation

doesn't take a
turn in a hurry I'll

drive that 14th bus
out there myself!

I'll set up right
underneath the ramp!

Alright, Bobby! Concessions do a

lot better when you
make your jump.

Did we come here to sell nachos
or open a can of whoop ass?

You.. man you're full of it.

Look at you...

Fourteen it is.

Yea, that's pretty
much what I thought.

Yea, that's what you thought.

[upbeat piano music]

♪ I'm a gonna beat it,
a whole lotta shaking going on ♪

[crowd cheering,
motorcycle roaring]

♪ We ain't fakin'
oh we gonna go ♪

How's your line?

It's good, it's good,
the change in third's good.

Got that X right at your feet.

Forty feet's good
let's rock and roll!

Time to fly, Evel.

♪ We ain’t fakin',
whole lotta shakin' goin' on ♪

♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪

♪ Cause a shake... ♪

[crowd cheering]

♪ I said shake baby shake ♪

♪ I said shake baby shake ♪

Are you man enough?

[tense music]

You man enough!

[engine revving]

[laughs]

Damn right I am! Woo!

[tires squealing]

♪ Oh they're coming over baby,
we got chicken in the pot ♪

Yea!

Yea!

[crowd cheering]

♪ Shakin', shakin' ♪

♪ Shake it baby, yea ♪

♪ You can shake
it one time for me ♪

♪ Whole lotta shaking going on ♪

♪ that's getting real
low a lotta time ♪

♪ Feeling fine moving
around just a little bit ♪

♪ And that's when you got to it,
yea ♪

♪ Oh baby a whole
lotta shaking going on ♪

♪ Now let's go one time ♪

♪ Shakin' baby shakin'!
Shakin' baby shakin' ♪

♪ Woo shakin' baby, c'mon babe,
shakin' baby shakin' ♪

♪ C'mon up,
whole lotta shakin' going on ♪

[drum roll]

[Evel] Yes,
I got hurt really bad...

but I kept trying,
I refused to lay down and die.

I didn't quit, I always
tried to get up and America

needed that worse than
anything in the world.

And I've had 10 steel plates
set in me... I've got bionic

arms... that's what Lindsey
Wagner the bionic woman told me.

I used to date her.

I'm a mess.

I live for 4 things,
riding motorcycles, driving

trucks, chasing broads and
man there are plenty of broads.

If a guy's married
and has a little

sex with another
woman he could compare

her to his wife and
I've done that for

14 years and I've
got the same wife.

I mean she's pretty good.

There's no king, no president,
no prince that's lived a

better life than me. I've done
everything I ever wanted to do.

[patriotic music]

Ah... except kill somebody.

[Robby]
What if daddy don't make it?

[Kelly]
You're just afraid will get ya.

[Robby] Hey well those cougars

are gonna bite your butt off.

[Linda]
Where'd you hear talk like that?

[Kelly]
Daddy says it all the time.

[Robby] Shut up, dummy!