Eu Não Faço a Menor Ideia do Que Eu Tô Fazendo Com a Minha Vida (2012) - full transcript

Are you sure you don't want
to get in the water?

Later.

Did you know that over there

there was a boardwalk
that a bunch of people came to?

Like Caetano Veloso, Gal Costa,

a bunch of intellectuals,
left-wing people...

They were there making music,
talking about politics...

That place must have been amazing.

Cool.

I wish I had lived in that era.

Do you guys want to play that game,



"I went to the market"?

You say, "I went to the market
and bought a banana."

Then, someone else says,

"I went to the market and bought
a banana and an apple."

And the other: "I bought
a banana, an apple..."

No, for the love of God,
not today, these games?

What's up? What's wrong with my games?

They only work late at night,

when everyone is drunk
and too lazy to go home.

I think it is a good way to pass time.

A good way.

I went to the market and bought a tomato.

I went to the market

and bought a tomato and a chicory.



I went to the market and bought a tomato,

a chicory and a fish.

Now me, I went to the market
and bought a tomato,

a chicory, a fish and lychee.

I went to the market and bought a tomato,

chicory, fish, lychee, and a pineapple.

I went to the market and bought a tomato,

chicory, fish, lychee,
pineapple, and a grape.

I went to the market and bought a tomato,

chicory, fish, lychee, pineapple, grape,

and custard apple.

I went to the market and bought a tomato,

chicory, fish, lychee, pineapple, grape,

custard apple,
and indigenous arts and crafts.

I went to the market
and bought a tomato, lychee...

No, sorry. Let me...

I went to the market and bought a tomato,

-chicory, lychee, right?
-C'mon, dude!

I went to the market
and bought a tomato, chicory,

fish, lychee, pineapple,

grape, custard apple,
indigenous arts and crafts,

and an endive.

You know, endive? You know?

I went to the market
and bought a tomato, chicory,

fish, lychee, pineapple, grape,

custard apple, indigenous arts and crafts,

endive, and an airplane.

What's wrong with you?

What?

Did I forget any?
I forgot about custard apple?

-No.
-I said custard apple.

There's no airplane in the market.

But isn't the idea saying crazy things

to make it harder to remember?

Of course not.

The idea is saying things
you buy at the market.

You don't buy an airplane,
it makes no sense.

It does if it is in the aviation market.

Aviation market.

Sure, and your aviation market
has endivia, lychee, fish...

-But that's your problem.
-Arts and crafts.

Then you are wrong.
Because my market has airplanes.

Sure, your market has everything.

I'm going to the water.
You're kidding me...

Airplane.

I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA
OF WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE

Where is everyone?

I don't know.

The bowling alley is not open today.

So how did I get in?

I don't know,
I think the door was unlocked.

So, what's your story?

There are many ways to tell a story.

Tell me some of them.

How many do you want?

One day, I skipped class,
and came in here.

Hi.

My name is Guilherme,
do you need anything?

No. Thanks.

You're welcome.

But this wasn't the first time
I skipped class.

How nice.

Skipping class in your first day
in college.

I felt sick.

Sorry to get you out of your class.

It's alright. It was so boring.

I just got scared

with your text, do you feel better?

I'm just a little angry.

What's the use of studying in a college

inside of a shopping mall

if all stores are closed
at eight in the morning?

I don't know.

Do you want to walk around to window shop

before next class?

Alright.

THE PSYCHIATRIST AND THE DENTIST

Clarinha, honey,

your mother and I have something
to discuss with you.

We wanted to tell you something.

But first we want to, I don't know,

hear your opinion.

Before making a final decision,
right, honey?

Yes, honey, your father and I have talked,

and we've decided

to be together again.

We've discussed it a lot,

and we believe it is the best
for everyone...

-Right?
-Right.

We believe it.

After all, we get along really well.

Yes, we've always been great friends.

Friends.

Someone is failing because of absences.

That's life.

Did you know that with nine absences

you fail automatically,

regardless of your results in the tests?

I think that's absurd.

You take out the student's right
to be a misunderstood genius.

What do you do?

I smoke, I drink, this kind of things.

Hi, my name is Guilherme,
can I play with you?

Sure.

Are you sure you don't want
to use the barriers?

So, what do you do for a living?

Medicine.

And you?

Do you do anything

besides trying to play bowling for free

by going along with others?

No, I'm hired to do this.

Hired to do what?

So,

my dad, the owner of this place,

realized one day that, in the morning,

we get a different kind of customer,
you know?

People who come to play alone.

The kind of customer
that doesn't buy a lot,

doesn't get sodas or snacks, and etc.

So he hired me to keep company
to these people

and give some incentive to the customers
to buy things at the bar.

So you're like a stripper?

How so?

Have you been to a strip club?

The strippers, basically,

use their charisma and body skills

to make the customers buy
more champagne, more whisky,

and they keep a cut
of what the customer paid.

Do they also get a cut?

Damn, I'm a stripper.

At first, it was easy to cut class.

I tried reading a few books,
which made me feel smarter.

I was a blasé kind,

reading things that really taught me,
while others were satisfied with teachings

that have been chewed by professors
who were frustrated professionals.

Such a boring discourse,
being blasé is a lot of work.

That's not for me.

Then I had my smartphone phase.

God bless the smartphone.

I don't know what people
used to do without them,

having to go home to check
your e-mail every day.

I spent hours on Facebook,
on Twitter, on MSN, GTalk...

I even gave ICQ a second chance.

But not many people
are online in the morning.

And, man, I think it is all
kind of depressing.

Look, Mark Zuckerberg,
I'm sorry, with all due respect,

but I hate Facebook.

You ruined my life.

I don't care about what those
people are sharing with me.

I'm not interested
in what they're thinking

or which YouTube video
they think it's funnier.

So, why do I keep spending, I don't know,

40 percent of my days

refreshing the front page?

I've tried sleeping as well,

but the mall security guards
always wake me up.

Do you want to go to a party
with me tonight?

I'm going to the movies with my boyfriend.

Is there some cool movie on?

No.

I think I'll tell him my mom
asked me to have dinner.

I don't know.

Are you the lying kind?

It's not that I am a compulsive liar,

I just love lying.

And I'm good at it, you know?

And it is rare to have something
I'm really talented at.

But only small lies,

that don't change anyone's lives.

What's with this party?

It is a party... BYOI.

Bring your own iPod.

I've just made this name up.

But it is a party with no DJ,

you bring your own iPod

and choose what you want to hear.

Alright.

Why don't you drop out
from Medicine school if you hate it?

But I don't hate Medicine.

You don't?

I mean, I think I don't.

Then, why do you skip class every day?

I don't know.

It's like this,
before this current boyfriend,

I was hooking up with a guy.

We've actually been together for a month,

which is the established time
to make someone your official partner,

so you can be boyfriend and girlfriend
and be happy and so on.

But I didn't want to date him, you know?

But I also didn't want
to break up with him,

because I don't know how to do it,

and it is a lot of work.

So, since I didn't want
do deal with the situation,

and I didn't know how to deal with it,

I've decided to stop answering the phone.

And when he'd ask me out,

I'd tell him I was too busy,
and studying a lot.

And I've decided to wait
for life to solve it for me.

You know?

So he eventually
stopped calling. Like this.

So, why don't you try another major?

I don't know what else I like.

I don't even know if I like
some other major.

Imagine that,

I keep changing majors
until I'm 40 years old.

You can have internships
in different areas

to find out what you like.

And simply serve coffee and make copies

to bosses in different areas
to find out what I like.

I know. I know.

Find your way to find out what you like.

You don't need to do things
the way other people do.

Because I think most people
only do things the way they do

because it is the way other people do it.

Do you want me to become a stripper

who's angry with the system like you?

I'm not talking about this.

You've just said it!

I'm talking about finding out your own way

to know what you like.

For instance, what is a physician for you?

What do you think they do?

They... help people.

Great. Then why don't you
go around and help people?

If you enjoy it,
maybe you'll enjoy being a physician.

But who can I help?

Your family? I don't know.

You know people with problems, don't you?

So.

Use your free time
in the mornings to do that.

It could be.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Are you going out?

Do you have money?

Do you need anything else?

No.

And you?

Me neither.

Are you sure everything is alright?

Yes. Everything is alright,
why are you suddenly worried?

Because we haven't been talking much,

so I don't know how's your work been,
your life...

We haven't been talking?

What do we do every night during dinner?

That's why I insist
on having dinner with you.

To talk.

-Okay.
-Alright?

Everything is fine with my life,
don't worry.

Everything is fine at work,
my life is great.

It couldn't be better.

Alright.

Take care.

If you get here late, call me.

Behave.

And if it isn't Medicine?

Not that I'm giving up,

but it would be nice to try out
other fields as well.

Just use the same thinking process.

What is Law to you?

Accusing or defending people.

So you can go around

getting into trivial arguments
and defending one of the sides.

I can't, I'm shy.

Shit! Lawyers lie, right?

Kind of a stereotypical view
of the profession.

But yes, why?

Because you can see how far
your lying potential can go.

Good one.

I can use family dinners for that.

So, today it was so crazy in class.

A rich girl, kind of slutty,

lost her makeup bag in the middle of class

and said no one could leave the room

before it was found.

And then she was saying her dad
was this and that,

that he would do I don't know what...

By the way, her dad
is a kind of famous dentist,

Mario something, do you know him, Mom?

No, I don't think so.

Anyway, so an inspector came in
with her makeup bag,

that she forgot in the bathroom.

And the worst thing is that
it was during my favorite class.

Methods and Approaches
in Community Health 101.

THE CARDIOLOGIST

It is so bad when you have
to go through a situation

you swore you wouldn't
go through anymore, you know?

And it sucks when you think
something like,

"At least I didn't have a kid with her,"

when this goes through your head.

I feel like a monster.

What did you do?

I don't know.

I think nothing.

But do you still like her?

But I think

that I also like my two other ex-wives.

Do you have a favorite one?

This is complicated,

because the one I liked the most
charges me more alimony.

Bitch.

Let's go out?

I don't know, let's see people,
see the sun.

I'm tired, Clara.

I think I'll use my divorce license

to stay home.

-Right.
-Shouldn't you be in class?

The professor is absent.

Okay, alright.

Now I need to try another profession.

Because I'm trying Law at night
with my parents.

I wanted something in the morning.

Preferably involving food.

You can try all breakfast menus
in all hotels in Rio de Janeiro.

My aunt has a hotel network,

you can start with one of her hotels.

But what does that have to do?

Journalism.

Gastronomic criticism.

My God, I'm having an orgasm

just thinking of all croissants I'll eat.

She's the bane of my life.
My life is hell because of her.

I can't get a girlfriend,

then I have to listen
to the worst things about her

from my own mother.

"She is a slut, she is no good,

she dresses up like a mall saleswoman."

"You don't want to marry
a mall saleswoman." Fuck off!

I'll get married
to whoever I want, it's my life!

I have my own job, what is this?

I can't show up with a friend,
then what do I listen to?

"You want to walk around
with that little thug?"

What is this?

Since I was a kid she says

you can't trust friends,
you can only trust the family.

This family that leaves her by herself?

If not for them,
she'd be at a nursing home.

That's what your father wanted.

Then why don't you tell her?

I can't say these things
to the person I love the most.

Yeah. I like grandma as well.

She loves you too.

-You're her favorite granddaughter.
-I know.

It is hard, you know? Being in love.

You haven't met her. Gorgeous.

Tania.

She once told me,

"Look,

the day your mom dies,

we'll be so happy."

And then?

I've started crying.

In the middle of La Mole.

We were at La Mole.

I've covered my piamontese rice
with tears.

Uncle, have you ever
broke up a relationship?

With the mom I have,

I had to become a specialist
in sending girlfriends away.

Perfect.

Mom, we need to take a break.

-What have I done, son?
-Nothing. It isn't your fault, it is mine.

-I love you so much, son.
-And I love you, Mom.

But don't think about this as goodbye,
but as a "see you later."

Sooner or later, you'll realize
you're too perfect for me.

Of course I'm too perfect,
but you're not bad as well.

-I'm not bad.
-No.

And if I'm perfect,
shouldn't I choose who to be with?

Mom, our relationship is worn out.

We need a break, let's do this,
let's give time to time.

Son, I can't believe you're abandoning me.

At least, your brothers
didn't pretend to like me.

Mom, I know it will be hard at first.

But I wish I could count
on your friendship.

Mommy...

Mommy doesn't love me anymore!

I want my mommy!

You can cry all you want.

I'm your piamontese rice today.

I'm so hungry right now!

Do you want to go
to the bowling alley after your breakfast?

It could be.

I miss my lonely bowling friends.

But first I wanted to think
about another job test.

Do you sing?

Or play any instrument?

We can start a band.

No, that's not for me.

Then try learning some instrument.

No, I don't have to.
I can play the guitar.

My mom put me in a class when I was a kid

so I could play for her.

But I hate it, I dropped out
as soon as I grew up.

Do you like movies?

Then you can take your iPhone
and record things around.

What things?

I don't know.
Aren't you the artist candidate?

I'm just a post-modern stripper.

He would suffocate me,
drain all my energies,

left me feeling awful.

And with all women he's had.

Your uncle Ricardo is the worst
non-alcoholic husband

a woman could have.

Then why did you marry him?

I don't know, I believe for two reasons.

Firstly, he's not that bad
when you lay eyes on him,

a cardiologist,

with a nice family, well educated.

A good man.

Secondly, I got pregnant.

What did he do, exactly, to suffocate you?

He had some dumb dreams
that never become true.

He gets angry with the world.

And he has nowhere to store this anger.

Because he has a good character,
wouldn't hurt a fly.

So he dumps this hate, this anger,

on people who live with him,

sucking out all the joy
this person could have.

Do you think I can get, I don't know,

an ideal woman for him?

There was a time when I took
this nice ex-wife role.

Matched him with four friends.

All of them deleted me from Facebook.

"FILM PROJECT"

DIRECTOR: CLARA

STORY: TO BE DEFINED

MADE WITH WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER,
DON'T EXPECT MUCH

RUN HERE

"THE TREE OF LIFE" MOMENT

What is this?

A gift, from all my heart, to you, Uncle.

And what is it?

Just open up and see.

Gift!

"I'm a gift, I want to be opened."

What is this?

A videogame.

I was thinking we could use it today,

because I won't have class this morning,

because the professor is absent again,

so we could do this now.

I have work to do, Clara.

Are you insulting me like this, Uncle?

Are you abandoning me,
as if you're my ex-wife?

15-0.

Luigi was a player...

I wasn't with the racket yet.

-Right.
-Can we go back?

No.

No, no...

I'm not good for this, Clara.

This was a good one.

Uncle, use the strap.

What?

So it doesn't fly to the TV.

-Go.
-You serve.

I'll serve?

Go get it!

Okay.

Go on, it's you. Right, go.

Here.

Die!

Die, son of a bitch!

Go on, Clara.

Get down!

Do you want alimony? Do you?

Come get it, it's in my back pocket.

Come on, come on! Die!

Do you want full custody?

Come here. Come here.

Lose your head, bitch!

Tell me, are you good at any sports?

I used to swim when I was a kid, but...

I know, I know, your mom made you,

you were a genius swimmer,
but grew up, and dropped out.

-Am I right?
-No. No, I was simply bad.

I was a hazard to mankind
when I was in a pool.

I once almost cut out my friend's ear

with the swimming during class.

Our friendship was never the same again.

Soccer?

Volleyball? No?

No.

I have the motor coordination
of a tube man.

Isn't there any sports you're good at?

Does Street Fighter count?
I raise hell with Chun-Li.

There's no Street Fighter
in the Olympic Games.

But there should be.

You need to think of a sport,

I don't know, a more extreme sport.

No, no, no, no! Shut up, shut up, shut up!

I think ice skating is so cute!

Thank you so much for being with me.

THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST

My professor was absent.

I was used to waking up in the morning.

I figured you'd enjoy
a birthday breakfast.

I loved it.

I was missing my favorite niece.

Sure, I'm the only one.

Even so.

I think it is a shame

that your father prefers to live
isolated from the family.

What I miss the most

are the Secret Santa's for Christmas.

Your dad's a fool.

I think he envies you.

Because you earn more than him,

because your house is bigger than his,

because Grandma likes you more.

Then he's a bigger fool
than I had imagined.

Because he has the family I wish I had.

He has lived much more than I did.

Lecture me more on that, Uncle.

What is this,
are you becoming a psychiatrist,

a psychologist like your dad?

I don't know.

And this type of conversation
helps me decide.

If it is okay to you to talk about it.

Clarinha, the problem
is insignificant, is foolish.

So old it became a theme for a Titãs song,

I wish I had worked less.

I'm 40, haven't seen time pass me by,

some things don't go back, anyway.

The eternal dissatisfaction, that's life.

You won't believe it.

There was a bomb scare in college today.

Was it just a scare?

Yeah. I mean, I think so, at least.

So far, nothing blew up.

How are your grades?

My average is 87.

Not bad.

You're not even trying?

No, I'm just here for moral support.

Thank you so much.

Enjoy it. It is morning,
it's empty in here.

Go on with no fear.

Jump, shout, flounce.

Make my morning a show.

Go.

I had an idea
for Architecture and Engineering.

Say it.

I want to build something.

What?

A tree house.

I've never seen one in Brazil.

Exactly!

This is called "sense of opportunity."

Haven't you ever wanted a tree house
when you saw one in a movie?

I can be starting a trend in Brazil.

Like temaki or frozen yogurt.

That's right, then go at it!

I just have a problem.

My house is not a house,
it is an apartment.

Can you lend me a tree?

I think there must be one
at home that will do.

How do you know I live in a house?

Because of your look
of someone who lives in a house.

And what does that mean?

Nothing, let's have a snack.

DOCUMENTARY PROJECT
DIRECTOR: CLARA

I wanted to know what you've done today.

Nothing special.

I want to know if you remember
the day you looked at her and said,

"She's the one I want to marry."

Boy, it was as soon as I saw her.

I knew she was the one.

I used a nail polish they liked,
they asked,

"What is that color?"

It is "voluptuousness,"
I'll devour all of you!

I can't even catch a cold.

But because you don't want to, or...

I don't know,
my friends say I'm too picky,

I don't think I am.

And one of them called me and said,

"You show the boys that you are smart,

that's why no one dates you."

It crushed me, so I came to my Pilates.

I really like to enjoy the beach.

You like to enjoy the beach?

-Right.
-Got it.

And do you go alone
to the beach or with friends?

Sometimes I go with my friends
and sometimes I go alone.

Man, at first, I wanted to study
Marine Biology

to be in the sea.

I thought it was beach all the time.

This guy made me a proposal,

said that if I dated him,

he'd give me toast,

sneakers for me to jog every day

and a broom for me to sweep his house.

So I didn't want him,
and ended up with this guy.

I hated him.

But this hate ended up becoming passion.

At three years old,

they say it is good
to drop the pacifier and all that,

and we've invented a story
that all pacifiers went to the Moon.

And there was the goodbye day
for her pacifier, it was good.

Do you have any funny stories
about this trip?

Funny story? Yes.

I've met two Globo actors at the beach,

that guy from "Cilada" and another actor,

but it was really funny, they hit on us,

it was all so funny.

Nailed it!

If your daughter watches this
when she's 20,

what do you want to tell her?

Man...

A pleasure.
It is a pleasure being your dad.

I wanted to say that respecting the elders

is respecting our own future.

Wonderful.

Do you have a story, anything to share?

No, no.

I wish gyms were cheaper.

Just that.

Is there anything you want to say?

So it is on the record
forever in this movie?

Something that maybe you want
to say to the world,

a war cry to the world?

No.

That's it!

You're nailing it.

Screw you!

Clara, thank you so much

for offering to be with Teo this week,

because I need to go to this conference.

Andre is working every morning,

and we've had this issue
with the babysitter...

What issue?

A foolish thing.

The boy was playing
chocking her with floss,

she took it seriously and quit.

No, but don't worry,
I know it is just a joke.

And, if he exaggerates,
I'll spank him lightly,

count to three...

"Teo, one. Teo, two."
I've always wanted to do this.

Clara.

We're against spanking children.

No, but I won't really spank...

We want to raise a human being,

not a robot, programmed to obey
whenever he's spanked.

No, I'm sorry.

It's that he's going through
a tough phase, you know?

He was invited to leave his school.

Why, poor thing?

A silly thing.

He was playing,
drowning his friend in the toilet,

things he sees in movies.

-They thought it was bullying.
-Everything is bullying.

The school coordinators took it seriously,
this is just to impress the Globo Network.

That's why I don't go
to the parent-teacher meetings.

I was bullied in school.

There, you see?

She's in one piece.

Mature, beautiful, no problems in life,

no traumas, there you are.

Following the right path,
you know what you want.

So beautiful.

That's me.

It looks great!

So, do you have any idea of how to do it?

I sure do.

I'm a semi-promising architect.

Or a promising semi-architect.

Or a promising architect. Semi.

Do you want to see the project I've made?

WOOD - HAMMER - NAILS

ROOF - DOOR

Here.

I've made a list
with all courses available in Brazil.

-And what's next?
-Philosophy.

Great. And what will you do in Philosophy?

I'll philosophize.

About what?

About things.

What things?

Things in life.

That's fair. Totally fair.

I noticed that I've never
stopped just to think, you know?

I don't know what's my opinion
about things.

For example,
I don't know if I believe in God.

Why?

Because I never stopped
and thought about it.

I feel kind of bad with it. You know?

I do.

After all, who is Guilherme?

I'm...

I'm me.

No. That is definitely not enough.

Don't you think it is too late

for you to want to know more about me?

I hope not.

I was waiting to see if I really
cared about you

before we dive deeper in our relationship.

I'm afraid my head is like a flash drive,

then one day I'll want to learn
something really important

that could save my life and I can't,

because there's too much stuff
I learned already.

Anyway, I'm in a phase
of sparing information.

As much as that sounds dumb.

Really? I don't think I'll ever
get tired of useless info.

Let's do something then.

I'll tell you a really stupid
thing about me,

and you tell me a really useful
thing about you.

Okay? Go.

I like to sleep wearing socks,
take them out during the night

and have fun looking for them
in the morning.

I'm studying Languages,
I want to be a teacher.

How cute! I always lose my pen's caps,

and I really believe there is
a magical kingdom

inhabited by elves who steal caps.

I...

My dad owns the bowling alley
and lets me do what I want.

Provided that I obey him

and say "yes" to some
sporadic jobs he gets me.

I've kissed a frog
when I was nine, literally,

because I thought it would
turn into a prince.

-And did it?
-No.

Alright, God.

Okay.

Let's go.

I believe in God.

I think that I believe in God.

I believe in God once in a while.

Especially, when I need Him.

Actually, I think that,
whether He exists or not,

I think He is very useful.

He helps us in difficult times,
which is rare,

because usually nothing helps us
in difficult times, so...

But I don't believe that, when we die,

we turn into angels or go to heaven

or something like that.

I think we just die, and that's it.

Stop thinking. Stop existing.

But I would love to be wrong about it.

If, when I die, God comes to me
personally and say,

"You got fucked!

You were so wrong, I am real!

Now let's have fun in heaven,

your grandma Tina is missing you
and she made a carrot cake!"

Man, if He says that,
I'll swallow my pride easily.

So,

I didn't go to class today.

How so, did you skip class?

No, of course not.

We didn't have class,
we had a lecture instead.

A lecture about what?

With Xuxa.

She's making a hospital
for children in need, it seems.

She needed new volunteers to help.

I thought it was so cute.
I've always liked Xuxa.

You can go bungee jumping.

Or sky diving. I've always wanted that...

Why would I do that?

I don't know.

I would add that my To Do List.

If I had a To Do List.

You know I'm not Jack Nicholson

in that movie with Morgan Freeman, right?

I'm not dying, I just want
to know what to do with my life.

Alright, alright, forget that I said it.

I don't even have a list,
I'm not writing anything.

And what's the next profession?

Geography.

I'll visit all of Rio's tourist spots.

Do you know I'm carioca,
my entire family is,

and I've never been
to Christ the Redeemer?

Nor the Sugar Loaf.

It happens.

I think I owe it to Rio.

-Can you come with me?
-Me? No.

We'll dress as tourists.
It will be fun! Please!

Tourists? Going to Christ?
Alright, alright, alright.

THE NUTRITIONIST

-It's good to see you like this, Uncle.
-How so?

Like this, healthy, eating a lot.

I need to avail it.

They'll put a catheter inside me,

I'll need to eat
through my belly, it is awful.

I wanted to help you. How can I help you?

What can I do for you?

Hand me the jam?

No, I'm serious.

Me too, I hate dry bread.

Yes...

What's it like knowing you'll die?

You also know you'll die, don't you?

It is bad.

But you'll die first.

Not necessarily.

You could go downstairs
and be hit by a taxi.

No, but the chances of you
dying first are higher.

No, there are much more people
dying of traffic than of cancer.

-Really?
-No.

But it could be, right?

It's the kind of thing that is.
The statistics.

When does your treatment start?

I won't do it.

-Why not?
-I don't want to.

I thought this selfish kind
only existed in movies,

not letting the people who
like them take care of them.

Clara, your uncle is 27 years old.

I have a cancer multiplying fast
because I'm young.

I have the right to be
a bit irresponsible,

and how did you say it?

Inconsequential.

-Selfish.
-Selfish. Thank you.

You're really not afraid?

No. I'm not afraid.

And fear is something
that diminishes people,

the last thing I want is to get smaller.

Are you afraid of anything?

A lot of things.

Tell me one.

Heights.

Then do something for me.

I'm resting a bit.

That's fine by me.

The property owners are pressuring

for the construction to finish,
they are a little mad, but...

I've hit my finger with the hammer.

It turned purple.

Gui, that's...

-I don't know about that.
-What?

I think you'll need to amputate that.

Your loss, playboy.

Can you help me getting it out?

No, I'm scared of blood.

Alright.

I'll do the surgery by myself.

But anyway, what are the next plans?

I wanted to...

To make the world a better place.

But I don't know how to do that.

Stand still.

I'm standing still.

Alright, then remain still.

And the world is the way that it is.

Independently from you.

Now kill a panda.

Or rip a tree out.

Or, I don't know,
invent a new reality show.

You've made the world worst.

Even being just one person

among other seven billion.

Being a small portion of humanity.

Now do nice things,
just like you're doing.

You've made the world better,

because you're not
doing bad things, right?

And you're not standing still.

I think that's already something.

I think.

Well...

No, no, no. You're crazy,
I'm not jumping from here.

You won't make your dying
uncle's last wish come true?

But you just want me to die
so you can win the argument...

No, Clara, you won't die by hang gliding,

you'll die of something else.

But what if the thing rips?

What if I fall vertically,

pierce the Earth and come out
on the other side, in Japan?

I'll have to live in Japan
and I don't know anyone there.

You're right, Clara.

You don't have to make my wish
just because it is the last one.

Just because I'm dying...

It is the only think
I've asked you, Clara.

You're the worst, Uncle.

You're the worst.

Okay.

Run, run, run!

You've always said breakfast

is the most important meal of the day.

I should've listened.

Because we have so many options.

There's cake, there's bread,
there are eggs,

there's quick bread, pancakes, waffles...

I really should have listened.

It is important to have set times to eat.

It's good for you.

Mom...

Are you happy?

I am, and you?

You didn't like
that I came back home, did you?

No, I liked it. But did you?

I did, honey.

It is so good to have you close again.

Your dad is such a good man,

your dad is a great partner.

But are you happy about it?

Because I don't see you smiling a lot.

Is this good enough?

It is.

Classic picture, open arms,

that's it, like the statue, smiling.

You're happy, Rio de Janeiro,
marvelous city!

Now devout.

A devout that is emotional
because her dream is to be here.

I'm here!

That's it. So emotional.
With tears in your eyes.

Mexican.

Now hug Christ. Hug the statue.

In the air. Like that.

Now tickle the armpits.

Now a high five with Christ.

High five with Christ.

Yeah. One, two, three, done.

Now, "High School Musical."

Go on. Wait, wait.

Again, one, two, three...

Done.

Now one of us.

Okay.

I love pretending I'm a tourist with you.

Did you know?

Me too.

We could make up a language.

How so?

Like, where are we from?

I don't know, where do you
want to be from?

I want to be... I'm from Eastern Europe.

My name is Irina. Actually...

Okay.

THE NEUROLOGIST

So, Grandpa, I'm doing a school paper

about the problems people have in life.

It is for my undergraduate thesis.

You're doing that in your first semester?

I like challenges.

Anyway, do you have any problems
to share with me?

Clarinha, I'm old.
Old people like talking.

Are you sure you want to listen to me?

I have all the time in the world
for you, Grandpa.

You can spit it out.

Clarinha, your grandfather can say

he only made wrong choices in life.

There was never a choice made by me

that happened in the right time or moment.

How so?

I was in love with a girl
and married another.

None of them have forgiven me for that.

I've always wanted the best for my kids,

I've set boundaries,
put them in the best schools,

tried teaching everything that I knew,

had a steady hand with them...

And none of them have affection
for me nowadays.

And kids do everything to raise their kids

in a completely different way
of how they were raised.

I hate what I do.

When I was your age,
I wanted to play soccer.

But since I could study,
I ended up studying.

I preferred
to snitch against my best friend

in a hospital case
because I valued ethics.

I lost my best friend
to find out, much later,

that ethical people get nowhere
in this world we live in.

I retired telling everyone
I wanted to enjoy my family.

And I actually miss my patients,

because I live alone in a huge house.

People hardly ever visit me.

I spend all my time alone.

And I found out I've added
too much sugar to my coffee.

Grandpa, I think the only person
with worse choices in life

was Nicholas Cage.

Who?

An actor.

Honey, I'm sorry, Clarinha.

Telling you these things...

I didn't know you'd be like this.

I'm don't know how to help you.

But you...

just by giving me this attention,

you've helped enough.

Now, stop crying.

It's that I'm afraid

of making wrong choices in life.

But you will make them. Many of them.

And you can't be afraid.

I'll tell you a story, I've met a guy,

we've worked together for a long time.

He made all the right decisions in life.

All businesses he got into
were successful.

Got married to a gorgeous and loyal girl,

who would die for him.

His children as well.

But let me tell you something
about this guy.

He was the most boring person
I've ever met.

Such a boring guy!

So annoying.

I'm sick of thinking
with other people's heads.

Or using someone else's thoughts
because they were already made.

You know what?

I went on a diet last week,

I ate a lot of kale, lettuce, tomato,

but I'd rather live until I'm 60
eating junk food

than living until I'm 80

eating what other people say it's right.

At least, this will all
be worth it at the end.

I can do what I want.

I can dance with no song playing.

You know what?

That's what I'll do.

I'll dance with no song playing.

Hi, everyone. Hi, Bial!

Hi, Boninho!

I'm making this video because I think

I'd be a great acquisition
for Big Brother Brazil.

Why?

Because of a flaw of mine.

I know most people
talk about their qualities,

but I think I would stand out
among all these videos

if I talked about one of my flaws.

"What is that flaw?",
you must be wondering.

I have no personality.

That's a great flaw for your show.

I can adapt to any kind of personality

that is missing on the show's list.

Do you need a controversial character?

I could be controversial.

Look, you don't talk to me,

I'm not Doctor Dolittle
to talk with bitches.

I could be the kind that makes intrigue.

So, Serginho has said he'll vote for you.

He also said your mom is a bitch.

I can be the weird hottie

that ends up posing for nude magazines.

But really, choose me.

Because I was thinking,

and I think I could possibly
have no talent.

But if Brazil loved me for two months,

then I wouldn't feel so bad.

So, do you feel like pausing your work?

They challenged me to a chicken fight.

I have no partner.

We know you're the terror of pools.

I don't have a bathing suit.

No, I'll lend you some of my sister's.

Let's go?

Alright.

Sorry.

Where is Mom?

She went to sleep at a friend's house.

She thinks it's her fault
you were skipping class.

After you finish dinner
you go to your room.

You're grounded.

No leaving house or receiving visitors.

Especially your boyfriend, you hear me?

He's not to blame,
he didn't know anything.

Right.

Go to your room, and no TV as well.

Hi. Sorry.

So, I know I'm not in position
to make demands,

but I didn't want to do this
over the computer.

I know.

I know, I know.

I'll try to meet you tomorrow.

I'll call you then.
I mean, if you want me to.

Alright.

See you.

Dad?

What, honey, did anything happen?

Many things.

I wanted to talk to you.

I want to say some stuff.

I want to say that I miss

when you took me out
to the Botanical Garden.

You did that until I was 13, right?

Why did you stop it?
Was that because I grew up?

You didn't start working more.

And I also wanted to say,

what the fuck is that?
You and mom getting back together?

How so?

How is that better for everyone?

I don't even remember
the two of you together.

I was two when you broke up.

What kind of reason is that?

Are you feeling lonely, is that it?

Are you afraid of becoming your dad?

What a nice example of romance
and hope you give your daughter.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much for admitting to me

that you gave up completely on being happy

and you're just together
because that's better than nothing.

I also wanted to say I miss our family.

They were nice. They are nice.

Why did you isolate us so much
from everything?

Why are you so stubborn, and...?

Why are you so proud?

You're not better than them,

you're not better than anyone.

People make wrong choices
in life, and people...

It's not their fault
they make wrong choices in life,

and people need help,
and you don't help anyone.

And you don't listen to anyone.

And making me grounded
without watching TV, Dad?

I don't even watch TV anymore.

I don't even have cable TV
in my bedroom anymore,

I turned it off to save more plugs.

How long has it been
since you entered my room?

How long has it been
since you asked me a question

that you're actually interested
in knowing the answer?

How long has it been
that you know nothing about me?

Don't you like me? Is that it?

You...

Don't you...

Because some people like me,

and some people are interested
in me, really. So...

So why can't you be one of those people?

You know, until one of these days,

I was sure people were lying

when they said they were in love with me.

I thought, "That can't be true.

So many good people in the world.

Why me? That's wrong."

And I feel a little stupid saying this,

because it was everything my generation

was raised to not say,

but I miss affection.

I'm sorry, honey.

I don't have the slightest idea
of what I'm doing with my life.

Can I sleep here with you tonight?

Sure, come here.

Am I still grounded?

Yes, ma'am.

I've ordered to deactivate
your bedroom's internet,

your phone's internet as well.

I figured it would be
more painful than the TV.

Thank you for the tip, young lady.

Can I just use today
to take care of some things?

I wanted to clean my teeth with mom.

I figured she'd enjoy it.

Alright. You can go.

Now, if you're lying
about your true intentions,

when you're back,
I'll lock you in a dungeon

with a bunch of alligators around it.

Do you understand?

That's fair.

Did you bring what I asked you?

I was worried. You disappeared.

Did you bring it?

I did.

Did anything happen?

It doesn't matter. Never mind.

And will we keep meeting
to find out what you want to do?

No, I'll have to stop.

And will you be with me or your boyfriend?

I haven't decided yet.

But look,

the promise I made you at Christ
is still standing, right?

Check this.

I'll choose a song on your iPod,
you'll choose a song on mine,

and when I say "go", we play it.

-Choose one.
-Right.

Did you at least figure out
what you want to do,

any professions?

No.

But that's okay.

I mean, I like skating.

So that's what you'll do?

No, I'm not good enough
to be a professional.

I just enjoy it.

Here.

Go!