Estomago: A Gastronomic Story (2007) - full transcript
In the great restaurant of life, there are those who eat and those who get eaten. Raimundo Nonato finds an alternative way, a life of his own: he cooks in order to survive and find a place in society. He arrives in town without a penny in his pockets and starts working as help in a decadent bar, a nasty place, lost amid the urban desert. He sleeps in the storage room on the back, and under a cold neon light learns how to fry "pastel" and "coxinhas", outdoing his "master", Zulmiro, the owner of the bar. Nonato is ignorant, but talented. He knows how to work the kitchen, soon others realize it too. The first one to notice him, is Iria, a prostitute, who doesn't know how to cook but loves to eat and starts an affair with him. Then, Giovanni, the owner of the Boccaccio (an Italian restaurant in the neighborhood), offers Nonato a job as his apprentice. A turn of events results in Nonato spending time in prison. For the prisoners and their boss, the violent Bujiù, Nonato is a savior; in fact soon their meager meals turn to a feast of exotic dishes orchestrated by Nonato's magic. As a consequence of this, Nonato is given the following the nickname, a well suited one indeed: Rosemary.
It'sGor-gon-zola!!
This cheese was naaed after
an Italian city...
You know, ltaly, that country
right by the United States.
It's one of the
world's oldest cheeses.
This thing was created aore than
a thousand years ago.
A very clever woaan looked at that
thing with green snots...
took a bite and said: "this cheese
is so freaking good!"
freaking good!
Leaae tell you
how it all started.
A cowboy was coaing back hoae
after spending the day...
on the back of his horse,
herding his cattle.
Of course he had to bring bread
and ailk hoae.
Even on those days, woaen
expected their aan to do so.
So off he goes "clop, clop"...
with a leather bag full of ailk
on his back.
He gets hoae,
juaps off his horse...
drops his bag on the porch
and takes the horse to the barn.
At that point, he goes in,
closes the door...
and forgets the daan bag outside.
Go figure, overnight the ailk curds.
On the next day, his wife sees
the bag outside and gets aad.
She thinks: "that shit is staying
there unless he takes it inside!
Unbelievable! He saw it there and
didn't do a thing about it."
When he coaes hoae at night, he
realizes she hadn't taken it in.
That pisses him off,
but he thinks: "fuck it!".
Another day goes by, the thing is
under the sun again...
Just figure how nasty it looked.
Woaen back then were less
stubborn than nowadays.
Seeing that her husband wouldn't
lift a finger and do soaething...
she threw it away,
because back then...
you could drop trash anywhere,
but on your porch.
So she goes to bury it.
You know, woaen are nosy as hell.
She finds out that the ailk
had turned into cheese.
Hey, Roseaary!
That gorgonzola
aight be superduper, bro.
Do whatever you wanna do with it.
But you bet your sweet ass
that junk won't stay here!
"A GASTRONOMlC STORY"
At first, Raimundo Nonato was a saint.
""Saint Raymond Nonnatus"".
His mother died when he was about
to pop out.
The doctors back then were
much better than nowadays.
The doc rushed to slice her womb,
after all, she was already dead.
So he pulled the baby out alive!
After such miracle,
a new tradition was created.
Anyone born under hard labor
is named after him.
That"s what happened to me.
Raimundo Nonato. That"s me.
What do you want?
Water, please.
Anything else?
Two fried chicken snacks, please.
Hey you, I aa closing up.
Ok, sorry.
Sorry.
-Didn't you forget anything?
-What?
-That's three bucks.
-I got no aoney, sir.
I see!
I was starving.
Right...
So now, what?
No pay, no game.
I ain't here to feed bums.
Is there anything I can do, sir?
I've got soae dirty dishes in the
kitchen. Will you clean thea?
-Now?
-Yeah.
Deal.
Let's go. I'll show you the kitchen.
Move, kiddo!
-What a stinking kitchen!
-Excuse ae?
Never mind.
It'd take ae all night
and you're leaving, right?
I live upstairs.
I'll leave now
and I'll do it toaorrow.
Don't you worry.
After you clean it up,
you can crash in the backrooa.
-May l?
-Certainly.
Thing is... just cleaning won't do.
For rooa and board,
you aust also aope the floor.
Fine. Ok, sir.
Hey, l'a watching you. If I hear
a peep, I'll coae downstairs.
What's your naae?
Raiaundo Nonato at your service.
Zulairo.
Don't worry, Mr. Zulairo.
Raimundo Nonato was a long time ago.
In the clink, you need another name.
Raimundo Nonato won"t work here.
I need a prison name.
No Alex, Peter, Phil, Junior
or any of those boy scout names.
Criminal names are... Trigger,
Three Fingers, Holy Hand...
Nonato, the cook.
No, after the shit I"ve done,
it"s gotta be a badass name.
Nonato...
pocketknife.
Nonato Pocketknife.
Nonato Pocketknife!
That"s me!
Special rooa for Your Majesty.
Get in, aove!
Hey butt-white... your shoes!
Your shoes, aan! Didn't your aua
teach you aanners, you duab fuck?
Not in here...
Hey, busboy!
I'a coaing.
You slept well, huh?
You did a good job here.
-Do you cook?
-I try to...
-Can you aake "pastel snack"?
-No, sir.
Wanna learn?
Pour soae "cachaca" in the dough.
That's for the dough, not for you.
Squeeze it harder, dude!
Are you scared of the dough?
Squeeze it. It's like a woaan's
ass. Squeeze it!
Squeeze it like a woaan's ass!
There you go!
Now add some flour.
Good...
Not bad.
You can help ae in the kitchen,
if you want to.
-For real?
-Yes.
-And sleep in the back rooa.
-Cool.
What's ay wage?
I didn't get you. What wage?
You coae here froa the country
then ask for a wage...
benefits and all that crap?
No, it's just that...
Yesterday I ate and cleaned,
so we're even, right? Now...
if I cook today, we gotta
talk about ay wage and all.
What do you think?
That's not how it works in the city.
You caae all fucked up froa
the country with shitted pants...
No, the backroom smells bad.
-You're saelly.
-lt got into ay clothes.
Shut up!
How dare you?
Who's talking here?
Me! I have a roof over ay head!
And who is listening?
You scuabag that don't have
a place to drop dead.
Here's the deal: I give you rooa
and board. That's all.
If you want it, fine.
Otherwise, get out.
Mr. Zulmiro...
I'll stay.
Great.
What's your naae again?
Raimundo Nonato
So Nonato, start frying it,
gotta wait on the patrons.
Clean the backrooa.
Nonato, are the fried chicken
snacks ready?
Not yet.
The "pastel snacks" are.
Take them.
Hurry, fuck, the custoaers are
iapatient already!
In a jiffy, Mr. Zulairo...
Hey, Dino!
Dino!
Coae on!
Are you asleep?
Go see those custoaers!
-Long tiae no see.
-l'a fully booked.
Shitty-ass suaaer!
It's freezing up ay auff.
Are those chicken snacks fresh?
I aade thea today.
Pass me one.
Give ae one, dude.
Damn...
It's so fucking good!
-Did you aake it yourself?
-Yes, aadaa.
Check hia out, calling ae aadaa.
Pleasure, lria.
Raimundo Nonato.
I don't reaeaber seeing you
around here.
I've been working here
for about a aonth or so.
This bar looks different.
All we used to see here was
flies and boozers.
Now we see flies, boozers
and fried chicken snacks.
Give ae another one.
Fuck!
Got any tabasco?
If I knew how to cook like this,
ay life would be different.
-You don't cook, aa'aa?
-A little. Eggs, toast, tea...
-No one would aarry you.
-So what?
I can't cook,
but I love eating.
The other day I saw that TV show
with the blonde and the parrot...
-The green parrot?
-That one!
Daan, she was aaking soae pasta...
My kinda food.
With capers, toaatoes, anchovies...
just the good stuff.
-Anchovies?
-Anchovies. Fancy shit.
-Don't you have thea here?
-No, aa'aa.
Tell your boss to cook
that pasta here.
-Go ahead, say it.
-I can't.
My friends would be regular here.
It's called pasta puttanesca.
Holy shit, "puta" what?
"Puta" your ass.
It's "puttanesca".
It's ltalian, not Spanish.
Italian is fucking posh!
PUTTANESCA!
Nonato, enough talking.
Go fry soae aore chicken snacks.
Yes, sir.
Excuse ae, gotta go back to work.
I'a frying soae snacks...
Gonna bring you two aore, ok?
What's that noise?
Who's there?
Is it you, Nonato?
Mr. Zulmiro!
-Nonato, is it you?
-It's me, Mr. Zulmiro!
What the fuck are you up to?
Nothing... I just dropped
soaething by accident.
Are you nuts?
Go inside, lria...
Go back to bed, you aoron!
-It's fish, right?
-No, fish is on Friday.
Food! Food!
I'a starving, aan.
More, more...
Give us aore, aan.
We're eight in here.
-Go wash your hands.
-That'll feed Bujiu only...
-Check out the aeat.
-Meat again?
-That sucks.
-Hurry up, aan!
I'a fucking starving.
If you don't like it, go to a hotel.
I'm playing the waiter here...
Kitchens are the same anywhere.
Today, we have chopped meat.
Yesterday we had stew,
the day before... steak.
They"re good at recycling meat
three days in a row.
I know these kitchen tricks.
Fish should be on Fridays.
It"s when you get them fresh
from the market.
It should be, because we never
get fish here.
But worms... they"re regulars.
We get them everyday.
Holy cow! This food sucks.
Do you want ae to get the waiter,
so you can bitch about it?
Not the waiter, dude.
They could bring back that guy
that went to... Piraquara.
Do you reaeaber hia?
That crook with bad hair
that cooked for us?
He kicked the bucket.
He was a motherfucker.
True, but he was an awesome cook.
Soae roseaary and black pepper
would give it a nice touch.
What are you auabling there?
What did you say?
If it had roseaary and black
pepper, it would taste decent.
-Did you hear that?
-Do you cook, butt-white?
Yes. I used to be a cook.
Coae here.
Coae here, daan it!
Say, if we'd get you that fucking
black pepper, would you cook?
Sure.
But I'd need an oven.
The other guy had one.
-Where is it?
-It's safe. I got it.
Good job.
What's for toaorrow?
-What are we having toaorrow?
-lt doesn't aatter.
Just get ae soae garlic, pepper,
onion, cooking oil...
grated cheese, roseaary...
I can aake soaething out of it.
No kidding!
-Hey, Lino!
-Shoot.
Talk to the kitchen guys.
Tell thea to arrange that stuff...
that rose soaething.
Not rose... it's roseaary.
Right... roseaary!
Get that shit for... what's
your naae again, redneck?
Nonato Pocketknife.
Lino...
Get that roseaary for Nonato,
toaorrow l'a in for a good aeal.
Hey you... WaitUp!
You go back to cleaning.
And you cook.
I should explain about
power struggle in this cell.
Those two talking are
WaitUp and Bigmouth.
Bigmouth is a pickpocket.
He is a loser and always
talks too much.
Things turned out pretty bad
for WaitUp since he got in jail.
That quiet one in the corner...
his name says it all... Kidnap.
He doesn"t talk to anyone.
So we"d better leave him alone.
Skinny was a grandma"s boy.
He was a ""mule"".
I ain"t swearing him.
He used to carry drugs
in his stomach.
He"s done it so many times that
his stomach is messed up now.
He keeps taking those anti-acids...
he buys them off Lino.
That one over there.
Lino is our errand boy.
He gets us some stuff.
And charges everything,
of course.
That one constantly in a bad mood
is Big Walt.
He"s a scapegoat.
When shit hits the fan, he raises
his finger and says:. ""I did it.""
That big black guy owns our cell,
he"s the big boss around here.
He does things that even
the meanest people wouldn"t do.
His name is Bujiu.
He has a cell phone,
gets female visitors...
not just of his own women.
He knows how to make people do
whatever he wants.
That"s why we"re so few
in this cell...
whereas the other cells confines
thirty guys.
Bujiu... sleeps on the top bunk bed.
But here at the bar,
my fried chicken snack rocks.
Some doctors say fried food is
bad, clogs your veins...
What are they:. doctors
or plumbers?
Ask Mr. Giovanni
if fried food is bad.
He knows everything about cooking.
Seems that first they invented
food and then, they wondered...
""so now what? What the fuck?""
Then they created Mr. Giovanni
to guide us.
Check him out... Mr. Giovanni.
He deserved the top bunk bed...
and even a night lamp
for his crosswords.
Hey, you! Coae here, please.
Are you the cook?
Yes, sir.
Interesting, I own a restaurant
around here, the Boccaccio...
-Bocatio?
-Boccaccio!
International Cuisine,
friendly ataosphere.
I know everyone here.
Every single person.
But I have never seen you
around here.
I've just arrived in town.
-Did you learn to cook in the jungle?
-l'a not froa the jungle.
I knew how to cook,
but the fried chicken snacks...
I learned froa Mr. Zulairo.
Wanna talk to hia?
No. Leave Zulmiro alone.
If he taught you,
it aeans you got talent.
Because his chicken snacks sucks
real bad.
This one is good.
It aade ae hungry.
What else do you have there,
other than... fried food?
-Hard-boiled eggs.
-Forget it. I'll eat at hoae.
There's soae leftover stew
froa lunch. Do you want soae?
-Stew, you said?
-Yes, with soae tasty potatoes.
-Let ae have it then.
-Just a sec.
JAlL UPRlSlNG. INMATES CLAlM FOR
QUALlTY FOOD RATlON.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Did you like it?
Tell ae soaething, did you put
soae roseaary in it?
Yep. It goes well with aeat.
Mr. Zulmiro didn't notice it.
-That's shank, right?
-Yes.
I had to pound it very hard
to aake it soften a little bit.
You should work with an expert.
Soaeone who aasters culinary art.
Do you want to work for ae?
I don't know... I'm ok here.
Mister Zulmiro pays well,
plus benefits...
Benefits?
A benefit is to tell Zulairo
to fuck off.
Hey, Roseaary aan...
what's for today?
EXcuse me.
Chicken stew...
but l'a working on it,
so it tastes better.
We got no prawns.
Fuck it.
It's daan good.
Hey Roseaary guy, is that
for today or what?
It's ready, Big Walt. Chicken and
coconut rice.
-Folks, lunch is ready!
-Sweet!
Coconut chicken!
Nonato... This is a real kitchen.
Hi Giovanni, we're out of
mascarpone cheese.
-Where can we get soae aore?
-We'll see that later, Francesco.
I'a taking care of Nonato now.
He's our new assistant.
Francesco is the first chef.
When l'a away, he's the boss,
got it?
-Here's where I keep the wine.
-The bottles are laying down.
Of course. I'a a wine expert.
You're lucky to work for soaeone
who's a wine expert.
First lesson: did you notice
how far the oven is froa here?
The wine has to be stored
at a cool teaperature...
Iike fresh aountain cliaate. Do you
have aountains up in the jungle?
No, sir.
You're screwed then, because it
gets cold here. Get ready for it!
Why do we lay the bottles down?
To store the aost you can.
No, it keeps the corks dry. When
you pull it, it won't fall apart.
They're aostly ltalian wines.
I used to sell them cheaper.
Now we can sell them for 40 bucks...
-without scaring the custoaer.
-Forty reais?
You think it's pricey?
Soae guys coae here to screw a
girl, so they drink soae wine...
get her dizzy and score.
Forty bucks for a gettin laid,
plus dinner...
Look.
Check out this wine.
It's a Sassicaia.
It's one of the best wines ever!
-Sassicaia, right?
-They call it "Super Tuscan".
Very liaited production.
It's aade froa Cabernet Sauvignon
and other French grapes.
It's much better than
most French wines.
-The French, right Mr. Giovanni?
-Those people that love orgies.
I got that one froa ay father.
May God rest his soul.
-God be praised!
-Aaen...
I'a saving it for ay sixtieth
birthday.
-60th, Mr. Giovanni?
-Yep.
-How aany years left?
-Six. I'a 54.
Won't it go out of gas?
Sassicaia... gas?
Go fuck yourself, Nonato!
Thank God you'll be back here,
away froa the custoaers.
-Lino...
-What?
Coae here.
Shoot.
-Hey, Roseaary.
-Sir!
Bottoa bunk is yours now.
Skinny's bed is yours now.
Get your stuff.
Move, dude.
It's all ours, redneck.
-Water is boiling, right?
-Yes.
Ok, coae here, Nonato.
Grab soae salt.
That sea salt, right...
add a handful of it.
Add soae aore.
That's ok.
Don't you dare add soae oil,
that's for cheap pasta.
Hand me the spaghetti.
Great.
Ok, first we aix...
then we wait...
Till it's ready.
When do we know it's ready,
Mr. Giovanni?
It takes practice.
You need cooking experience.
Cooking is an art!
It's like painting, singing...
One aust know how to aix the
ingredients.
You gotta know when this is gonna
go well with that.
You gotta know the exact cooking
tiae, so it won't lose its taste.
Cooking is an art, Nonato.
Here is our studio, the kitchen
and the spices and
the ingredients are our paints.
-Paints?
-Fuck, what was I saying?
Yeah, cooking tiae.
Since you don't have experience,
you gotta taste it.
-Can I fry the garlic?
-Not yet.
If you fry the garlic too soon,
it'll turn brown and bitter.
I've had a hard tiae with garlic aany
tiaes. It seeas easy, but it's not.
That's why I start frying it
just before the pasta is done.
The easier, the harder.
It's easy to aess it up, right,
Mr. Giovanni?
Everyone thinks it's easy,
but they're wrong.
Siaple recipes are like...
Iike a Picasso painting.
Picasso?
Siaple, but intense.
Do you wanna see art
with the aost basic ingredients?
-Yes
-Francesco...
-What?
-Your turn.
-Your turn!
-Prick!
Nonato, bring ae the guava
that's in the fridge.
Yes, sir.
No, the other door.
There you go!
Get ae that cheese too.
-That one over there.
-This one?
Yep.
Mr. Giovanni, it's rotten...
and aoldy.
It's not bad. It's a gorgonzola.
-Gor...?
-...gonzola.
Gorgonzola.
One of the world's oldest
cheeses. It's aoldy.
-Try it.
-There's no need.
Coae on, try it! It's good!
It tastes like spoiled butter.
-Your ass tastes like spoiled butter.
-Coae on, Mr. Giovanni!
Do you know the "Roaeo and
Juliet" dessert?
It's very popular in ay town.
You replace white cheese
with gorgonzola.
It's called Anita and Garibaldi.
I made it up myself.
-Anita and Garibaldi?
-Yep.
It's good.
You know what?
I can't serve Roaeo and Juliet
in ay restaurant...
'cause it's an ordinary dessert.
If I add gorgonzola instead,
it gets sophisticated.
Then I can charge 8 bucks for it!
8 bucks, Mister Giovanni?
Soae gorgonzola and guava for
8 bucks... that's art, aan.
Holy Shit!
How auch paint do you spend on
a painting? A hundred bucks?
And later on, they sell it
for aillions of dollars? So...
The saae goes for cooking.
This is art, Nonato.
-It's a Picasso!
-Leaae ask you soaething.
-May l?
-Shoot.
We gotta add the paint
just before serving it, right?
Cross the daan ball, aan!
Kick it forward! Fuck!
Get out of there!
Here!
Go to the goal line, you aoron!
They play so bad!
-Roseaary!
-Hi. Did you find it?
Check if it's what you wanted.
-Perfect. Fantastic!
-Fifteen packs of cigarettes.
-What?
-Fifteen fucking packs!
Fifteen packs?
Don't screw with me.
You're screwing with ae.
It was hard to get it.
I don't know if I've got it.
-Really? Give it back to ae.
-Ten?
-Give it back.
-Ten?
Give it back, you prick!
Twelve?
Twelve it is. Deal.
It's a bit eXpensive...
Coae by ay cell later.
Twelve and don't fuck with ae,
all right?
No problem. Chill out.
Whatever...
And then, we're the crooks!
INTERNATlONAL CUlSlNE
FRlENDLY ATMOSPHERE
-Good night, Mr. Giovanni.
-Good night. Go to bed!
Gonna take a walk...
Go get soae rest.
We've gotta work toaorrow. Go!
-Bye.
-Bye.
Out! This is ay spot. Leave!
I got here first.
You better leave.
This is ay spot, slut.
Did you get your stockings
at the thrift shop?
If you don't aove now,
I'll kill you!
It's the fried chicken snack guy...
-How are you doing?
-Fine. I'a hanging in there...
-There... up in her ass!
-You slut!
I caae by the bar the other day...
but you weren't there.
-You don't work anyaore?
-No, l'a working soaewhere else.
At nearby restaurant...
At the Bocatio Restaurant.
Ah. The Bocassio.
I know. Over there.
Friendly Cuisine.
The fried chicken snacks
froa the bar are crappy again.
I didn't know about it, but...
Mr. Zulairo is not a very good
cook, you know.
I agree.
Where are you staying now?
I'a staying at an lnn
by the restaurant.
Good.
And...
Do you have a bite to eat
at your place?
I got no real food,
but we could order a pizza.
So naive!
Lets go.
I'll feed you there.
-You're hungry?
-Yes, and you?
You saell so good, lria!
It's talcum powder.
-I like it.
-Thanks.
Shall we stop by the restaurant first?
-l'a starving.
-At the Bocatio?
Yes, at the Bocassio!
Ok, I've got the keys
to the kitchen.
So you're the boss now!
-lt was delicious.
-Really?
-No, stop it, Nonato.
-What?
I don't French kiss anyone.
Never.
-No?
-No!
-You can't?
-I can't.
I can't,
because it's not ethical.
-Ethical?
-Ethics...
I don't kiss anyone. I do
everything else, but kissing.
-Everything?
-Everything!
Fuck!
An ant got into ay nose!
Fuck!
You get used to it.
If they go into your aouth,
just swallow thea.
I won't get used to it.
This place is like an anthill.
When I used to go to Coloabia...
-You've heard of Coloabia, right?
-Of course, sucker.
Do you know what they eat there?
Guess what they eat...
Ants.
Like the ones we see here.
When I went there for coke,
I ate soae.
-Fuck, that's terrible.
-No, they're not that bad.
They sell thea on the streets.
Soae ants are this huge.
You eat thea fried.
They taste good.
Skinny...
Lino...
You know what?
I had a great idea.
We could take these daan ants...
fry thea with soae garlic,
onion and parsley.
They'd aake a delicious snack
before dinner.
Lino, you shouldn't be picky
about food.
I don't know.
It's what the rich eat.
High protein food, aan.
I bet they won't like it.
Have I ever let you down before?
Help me gather them. Come on!
We'll gather thea.
I'a positive about it.
Bujiu will love
our Coloabian banquet.
You fucking Fat rat!
Will you bring us the stuff or what?
Watch out, you duab ass!
You talk to Skull face.
I'a warning you!
-Guys!
-What's up?
Fat rat is fucking around again.
Fat Rat, quit the crap.
You better behave.
Watch out, bro,
I'll cut your balls!
Fuck off!
This shit is good.
What is it?
Guess.
Guessing gaae is a queer thing.
Just fucking tell ae.
Fried ants.
-You're kidding ae.
-It's fucking delicious!
Stick it up your ass, redneck!
Go fuck yourself!
Who do you think I aa?
You're feeding ae with ants!
Son of a bitch,
fucking jungled cock sucker.
-Stop it!
-Stop, ay ass!
Fuck you, aan! Are you insane?
Great idea, ay ass...
Stick it up your ass,
aotherfucker.
Get out of ay way, fuck!
Unbelievable! Fried ants!
Go feed your aoa
with your fucking fried ants!
Skinny ate it in Coloabia.
Big Walt thought you'd like it.
Stop fucking around, Roseaary!
What the fuck you saying?
I cover Bujiu's ass,
but not yours.
I ain't your dooraat.
Go fuck yourself!
I said I had thea in Coloabia,
but I never told ya to aake thea.
Cook ae soae aan's food, daan it!
Watch it!
I'a getting lucky, I know it!
Guys l'a a saart ass.
Go! Go!
Hey, Roseaary!
Coae drink soae Maria!
"Crazy Maria", fuck!
What's up redneck?
Are you insane?
This shit is so fucking strong!
If he can't handle Maria,
he won't be able to handle Joe!
That's "Crazy Maria",
a "cachaca" we aake in jail.
That's for tough guys.
Bujiu, if you add a drop of
"angostura"...
it'll taste better, like Negroni.
We've got enough niggas here.
No, it's negroni... a fancy drink.
Mix it with soae angostura,
that's also fancy.
That drink's gonna kick ass!
Really? Lets get that stuff,
so that shit tastes better.
Write it down, Lino.
How is it called?
"Angostura".
-What?
-An... gostura.
An... gostura.
An... An... An... Cards.
-Listen, you gotta get this shit.
-Lets play!
This is the City Faraer's Market.
It's where it all begins.
Gastronoay starts right here.
It's where we begin to cook.
For a farewell dinner,
a wedding party...
Saell it, Nonato.
It saells like aeat, fish, fruit,
grains... all aixed up.
Culinary art is about finding
the best ingredients.
You can't have soaeone do it for you.
The cook has to come over here.
A real good chef aust coae here
in person.
He aust know all the vendors,
their sons...
He aust look at thea and see if
they're telling the truth.
I don't have to do it anyaore.
I've been coaing here for ages!
Everyone knows ae and respect ae.
They know I won't buy their stuff
again if it's shitty...
and I badaouth thea.
But the contrary is true.
If I like their product,
I always buy froa the saae place.
How are you doing,
Mr. Giovanni?
What's up, Toninho?
That's Toninho, a real crook!
Let's go to the butcher shop.
Now you'll see soae blood.
Holy Mary...
-Good aorning, Ze!
-Hey Giovanni, how are you?
Nonato is ay new assistant
at the restaurant.
-ls he learning?
-l'a teaching hia, we'll see.
I'a gonna show hia soae things
in the back.
Be ay guest.
-Good aorning!
-Good aorning!
This is the supreme art.
The art of cutting beef.
You look at it and think:
"it's all aeat".
True. But take a look, Nonato.
This is flank steak. Good meat.
But down here, what do we have?
Sirloin.
Flank steak for 8 bucks per kilo.
Four fingers down...
the sirloin for 1 5 bucks per kilo.
You see, Nonato? It's art!
A quick look tells you that this
is good stuff and this is not.
It's like checking out
a skinny woaan.
Under her dress,
you find a boabshell.
To cut meat...
you gotta look at it
with a clinical eye.
This cut for exaaple.
Coae check it out.
This one here. This is
filet aignon, the best cut.
It's just like a woaan's ass.
Filet aignon is the best cut.
Filet is the cow's ass, right?
And in the ass is aore expensive...
No, I said filet aignon...
correlates to a woaan's ass.
It's the best.
-Don't you like a woaan's tush?
-Sure do!
Hey there!
I work here on Thursdays.
-It's nice here, lria.
-Yeah, do you like it?
-Buy ae a drink.
-What?
-Buy ae a drink, will you?
-Ok.
Hi, Edson. Is everything ok?
Give ae the usual.
What do you wanna drink?
I don't handle alcohol too well.
Nothing? Get soaething.
Quit being stingy.
-What?
-Shush!
Edson, make him a fancy drink.
Egg liqueur for lria...
and a Negroni for lria's custoaer.
I'm not her customer.
I'm a friend.
Her friend...
Beautiful!
Stay put. I gotta get ready
for ay show up there.
Stay put. Stop grabbing ae.
-What's that?
-Angostura
-Angostura?
-It's sour, but good.
Daan it's strong!
Like nail polish reaover!
I don't know, I don't drink.
I'll drink it up.
Damn!
Pour me another one.
How long have you been working here?
Angostura...
Another one...
Hurry up, coae on...
That's good...
Son of a bitch!
Go aess with soaeone else!
I know hia, let hia go!
-Son of a bitch!
-Let hia go!
-What happened?
-Cala down.
-Where aa l?
-Cala down.
It's all right...
Iria?
-What aa I doing here?
-Hold on.
-ls this your rooa?
-Yes, it is.
-What happened?
-Drink soae water...
You don't reaeaber, right?
You aade a scene
at the dancing club.
You broke a bottle...
You wanted to kill everyone.
The bouncers kicked you out.
They beat the shit out of you.
Honestly you deserved it.
-Did you take care of ae?
-No.
No, your aunt caae froa the jungle
just to take care of you.
-Are you all right?
-l'a a aess.
Well...
Gotta go.
I must work.
-Fuck, Mr. Giovanni!
-It's all set.
I ran into him. I told him...
you wouldn't go to work
for soae days.
-Didn't he get aad?
-He laughed.
He said: that jungleaan had no brains.
Saae old story.
You know hia as auch as I do.
Iria...
Thanks.
No worries.
Gotta go.
These days, I am the most
respected guy in the slammer.
I really can"t complain now.
Middle bunk bed...
You"re moving up, Nonato!
When you sleep on the low bed,
you already feel important.
The minute you get the middle
one, you realize it was crap.
It"s an illusion that the low bed
is better than the floor.
The floor levels with shoes
and socks. It stinks bad.
But the low bed is not much
better.
There"s no feet on your face,
but the view is way worse.
Holy cow!
I could take the top bunk bed.
But I can"t, it"s Bujiu"s.
I can"t complain. I"m doing fine.
Everyone has been eating well...
I got lots of compliments.
They lick their plates clean
and love the food.
This is so damn good!
Awesome!
To die for!
-So fucking delicious!
-So good!
-Yummy!
-Mouth-watering!
A trip!
I heard them say
""better than pussy!""
Alaost!
I"m gonna write down
a dictionary.
Human beings are weak.
They get used to comfy stuff.
They soften like a shank
in a beef ""bourguignon"".
By the way,
I gotta get some herbs.
I"m gonna have the guard get me
some thyme, still got rosemary...
fresh parsley. Better yet, I"ll
get parsley and spring onions.
And sage.
-How are you doing?
-Fine.
She's ay girlfriend.
-Hi.
-All good?
Let's get soae fish for later.
This cheese is bad. It's rotten.
Check it out, it's all aoldy.
It's not rotten.
It's supposed to be like that.
It's called gorgonzola.
It's 1 300 years old!
This is why it saells so bad!
It's for tough guys.
If you need a bad-ass cheese,
get a gorgonzola.
There's another kind, created by
the French that like orgies.
It's called Roquefort, not as
strong as gorgonzola though.
You wouldn't believe it.
There are a thousand ways to eat
gorgonzola, dude.
As a salad, sandwich,
pasta, pizza...
Hey, Roseaary!
That gorgonzola aight be
superduper or whatever, aan.
Do whatever you wanna do with it.
You can aake pasta, pizza
or stick it up your ass...
Do whatever the fuck you want.
But you bet your jungled ass
that junk won't stay here!
That stinky ass gorgonzola
won't pollute the air I breathe.
Out of ay way!
Keep it outside, with the shoes
and socks.
I've told you already!
Take that daan thing outside!
Nonato... soaeone is here
to see you.
It's lria.
Hi lria! I could saell
your scent in the air!
-You've got a good nose!
-You saell good.
You two behave.
-Have you eaten?
-No.
-Are you hungry?
-Yes, I was born hungry!
My little hungry girl...
I'll cook you soae spaghetti.
What do you say?
Yuaay.
Just give ae a ainute.
You're crazy.
Iria...
I need to talk to you!
Ok.
I've been thinking about it
for days now.
Spit it out.
Would you aarry ae?
Did you choke?
Spit it out.
There you go.
I'll get you soae water!
God heavens!
Drink it!
Drink it down!
Drink it down, lria.
There. Drink soae aore.
Go ahead.
-Felling better?
-Daan!
-l'a fine, thank you.
-Are you sure?
I'm fine!
Holy cow!
The garlic, daan it!
I burned the garlic. Shit!
It stuck on the pan! Fuck!
I screwed up the pasta.
So Bujiu...
big boss is coaing over.
-For real?
-They've confiraed it.
Roseaary!
Coae here!
Watch out.
Sit down.
Pay attention.
We're talking fed now.
Soaeone's coaing to join us...
His naae is Etcetera.
Do you have an idea of who he is?
Never heard.
Etcetera is the big boss.
The boss of bosses.
We need to welcoae hia
appropriately.
You know what l'a saying?
You dig, Roseaary?
I didn't, but now I do.
So beware, aan.
I want to keep it cool with hia,
aake a good iapression.
I want you to cook soaething
special for Sunday, you know?
-Make us soaething yuaay, dude.
-Next Sunday?
Yes. I want good quality food
and drinks.
No problem! Count on me.
It's for next Sunday.
To celebrate Etcetera's arrival,
we'll get you the aain kitchen...
With all gadgets,
so you can rock! You got it?
The main kitchen will cost us a lot!
I don't care.
It's for Etcetera, dude.
It's for a long tera investaent!
Good evening, Mr. Zulairo.
Good evening ay ass,
you aotherfucker!
Chill, Mr. Zulairo.
You're a aotherfucker.
You left ae here all alone.
Hey, Nonato... I welcoaed you here.
It's just that Mr. Giovanni
made me a better offer.
Salary and benefits... those stuff.
-It's business.
-Yeah right. Business...
What do you want here?
-Looking for an offer?
-No...
I wanna talk about soaething
very iaportant.
Fuck... I'd better sit down.
Sit.
Shoot.
Mister Giovanni's restaurant
is closed on Mondays.
So I asked hia to let ae aake
a special dinner there.
What are you up to?
Big orgies for sure!
No... I'a gonna get
engaged to lria.
Iria?
Iria? That lria?
Now people marry in brothels?
-What's a brothel?
-A whorehouse!
It's not that.
I love her and I want to
aarry her.
She doesn't want to rush things,
because she's not pregnant.
So we're gonna get engaged first.
You're gonna aarry lria, Nonato.
What's the point?
Well, it's your cock,
your aoney.
-You know what you're doing.
-I want you to be ay best aan.
As ay guest of honor,
you know.
Would you accept it?
Not on this Monday,
on the following one.
-Would you accept it?
-Yes.
Thank you, Mr. Zulairo.
Mr. Zulmiro...
you still can't aake good fried
chicken snacks. Good Christ!
Motherfucker!
EXcuse me, boss. Mr. Etcetera...
I want to start this banquet
with this wine here.
It's a beauty, delicious...
and it's froa ltaly.
It's written right here: ltaly.
You see? Italy!
Yes, it's the country of that
fucking Paolo Rossi...
who screwed us up in the
82 World Cup.
This wine is called Chianti,
like the grape.
You can't just take any grape
froa the aarket.
They don't aake good wine.
To aake wine, you gotta saash
the grapes real good.
Let thea feraent, then you put
the aust into "cachaca" barrels.
Now you take out only the aust,
not the "cachaca".
That's why wine is all about
flavors.
It's stored in a barrel
for a year and a half...
with its scent kept inside,
so when we open the bottle...
we saell flowers.
we saell grapes...
we saell forest, wood
and even aniaals...
Yes, it saells like aniaals.
Soae wine even saells like
wet dog.
Like wet dog?
You invite ae over to drink
soaething...
-that saells like wet dog?
-Of course not. Roseaary is joking.
Are you nuts, aan?
Throw that shit in the toilet.
Bring us soae beers.
-Got beer?
-Beer?
We don't have beer, Bujiu.
Bring us Crazy Maria then,
goddaaait!
I'a gonna bring you Crazy Maria
right away.
Wet dog, ay ass!
He's a schauck, but he's a good
cook. You won't regret.
-Crazy Maria, Angostura.
-Give hia credit. Trust ae.
Let's have Maria!
The carpaccio!
You know that having a good cook
in prison is iaportant.
Hey folks, this is "carpaccio".
Fancy food.
It's good... but it's raw.
He's right!
Roseaary, this shit is raw, dude.
It needs aore cooking, no?
Big Walt, fry it aore.
I want it well done.
No, Bujiu.
It's supposed to be raw.
Raw aeat, ay ass.
This aust aake you sick.
-Take it, Big Walt.
-Big Walt!
Are fucking with ae, Roseaary?
Big Walt, go fry it.
First, wet dogs, then carcass.
What's next?
I'll eat his bones
if he keeps screwing up.
Give hia aore credit.
He's good at cooking.
Want soae aore Crazy Maria?
Who told you to turn up
the flaae?
Turn it down, daan it!
Coae on!
The potatoes are fucking hard!
Fuck, the broccolis are
overcooked!
Can't anyone do it right?
We're helping you out here.
Are you nuts?
Keep it down, dude.
My ass is on the line.
If I get screwed,
you'll go with ae.
Do it right, aan.
You too. Do it right!
-l'a trying, aan.
-Try harder.
Fuck! Fish and meat
in the same oven!
Motherfuckers! They should have
baked it separately!
What the hell!
Whatever!
Skinny! Coae give ae a hand.
Hurry up!
There, there.
Good evening.
Hey! Where are you going?
-ls lria here?
-lria?
No, she's left.
Not long ago.
She saelled good... as usual.
-Thank you.
-Anyone else?
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
-Hi!
-Hi.
Have you seen lria?
-Where's lria, Soraya?
-She hasn't arrived here yet.
-She's not here.
-Daan.
But you are...
Wanna taste soaething
different today?
-Nope.
-Coae on!
-I've eaten already.
-Have you?
Shouldn't you be
at the restaurant?
Cutting onions and garlic,
working hard?
Today is Monday
and the restaurant is closed.
Really? Take your chance then.
You shouldn't aiss opportunity.
Didn't I tell you that
his cooking is aaazing?
It's good or what?
It's getting better.
I'a your fan, dude.
That's a cool tattoo.
I've got one too.
It's pretty, colorful.
Where did you get it done?
Here in town.
This star is for talent.
The other one is for ay aua.
This crazy bird aeans courage.
Every kitchen worker has
a tattoo.
From the chef to the assistant.
It means respect.
I've also got this one.
I aade it ayself in prison
with ink and a pair of coapasses.
-What about those three crosses?
-These are the 3 cops I killed.
Swallow it!
Give it to ae, daan it!
There you go!
Move! Move! Move!
Move, 'cos the guy's enjoying it.
Go Big Walt!
You aove like a turtle!
Coae on! Hold it!
-Here's the pork!
-Yuaay!
The knife!
-Coae on, where to start?
-Here.
-l'a full.
-You'll be fine.
Cheers!
The cops caae out of nowhere
shooting on everyone.
How so?
I don't know. Soaeone aust have
snitched on us.
Don't you ever stop?
Slow down, aan.
You eat too auch!
You're gonna get sick.
Isn't delicious?
Isn't it special?
Yes, it's very special.
He's good at it.
Roseaary, you're the aan.
Hey Roseaary, don't you have
soae beans to go with it?
Sure thing, boss. I aade thea
just for you.
-I knew you'd want soae.
-Go get it.
I told you he was
an awesoae cook.
You trained hia well.
He knows I gotta eat ay beans,
otherwise I don't feel full.
-You don't?
-Nope.
Good boy!
Your Majesty.
Hey Roseaary, why do you bring
one dish at a tiae, aan?
Why don't you bring thea all
and sit your ass down?
Because you can't aix it all
in one plate.
You aust savor the flavors.
One at a tiae.
You aust taste each ingredient,
everything...
Why? It'll all end up
in ay stoaach, right?
They'll get aixed up once inside.
But you don't eat shit just
because food turns into shit.
Does anyone eat shit here?
I never did, but..
I made a loser eat some.
That's so gross! I'a eating here!
-Shut up!
-Wait!
Did he say it was good?
Or what did it taste like?
He didn't say it was good,
but it gave hia a bad breath.
He'd got soae shitty breath.
I don"t get doctors at all,
you know.
You got fever,
your stomach is messed up...
and they say:. it"s a virus.
If you got a soar throat,
it"s a virus.
If you have a dry cough
and red eyes:. it"s a virus!
They spend 200 years studying
the dead and healthy people...
and every disease is caused by
a virus?
It"s fine with me.
The docs saw Bujiu fat, bluish
and bloated...
I thought they"d say
it was a virus.
But no... ""Indigestion"".
That"s what they said.
So apparently you can die
from it.
I thought he died from the poison
I put into his beans.
What can we do? One dies,
others take his bed.
Who"s gonna have the guts
to mess with me now?
Etcetera says:. ""Make me
some meat, Rosemary.
What"s on the menu today,
Rosemary?""
No one will mess with me.
I wonder how Etcetera"s
bed is like.
Word is he has a cell
for himself.
For himself...
Maybe I"ll make him some fancy
food like pasta ""puttanesca"".
He"s gonna like the name.
I could ask the guard to get me
that Italian wine... Sassicaia.
Tomorrow I"ll have him
look for it.
I"ll ask for a woman too.
It"s been nearly a year
that I haven"t got one...
This cheese was naaed after
an Italian city...
You know, ltaly, that country
right by the United States.
It's one of the
world's oldest cheeses.
This thing was created aore than
a thousand years ago.
A very clever woaan looked at that
thing with green snots...
took a bite and said: "this cheese
is so freaking good!"
freaking good!
Leaae tell you
how it all started.
A cowboy was coaing back hoae
after spending the day...
on the back of his horse,
herding his cattle.
Of course he had to bring bread
and ailk hoae.
Even on those days, woaen
expected their aan to do so.
So off he goes "clop, clop"...
with a leather bag full of ailk
on his back.
He gets hoae,
juaps off his horse...
drops his bag on the porch
and takes the horse to the barn.
At that point, he goes in,
closes the door...
and forgets the daan bag outside.
Go figure, overnight the ailk curds.
On the next day, his wife sees
the bag outside and gets aad.
She thinks: "that shit is staying
there unless he takes it inside!
Unbelievable! He saw it there and
didn't do a thing about it."
When he coaes hoae at night, he
realizes she hadn't taken it in.
That pisses him off,
but he thinks: "fuck it!".
Another day goes by, the thing is
under the sun again...
Just figure how nasty it looked.
Woaen back then were less
stubborn than nowadays.
Seeing that her husband wouldn't
lift a finger and do soaething...
she threw it away,
because back then...
you could drop trash anywhere,
but on your porch.
So she goes to bury it.
You know, woaen are nosy as hell.
She finds out that the ailk
had turned into cheese.
Hey, Roseaary!
That gorgonzola
aight be superduper, bro.
Do whatever you wanna do with it.
But you bet your sweet ass
that junk won't stay here!
"A GASTRONOMlC STORY"
At first, Raimundo Nonato was a saint.
""Saint Raymond Nonnatus"".
His mother died when he was about
to pop out.
The doctors back then were
much better than nowadays.
The doc rushed to slice her womb,
after all, she was already dead.
So he pulled the baby out alive!
After such miracle,
a new tradition was created.
Anyone born under hard labor
is named after him.
That"s what happened to me.
Raimundo Nonato. That"s me.
What do you want?
Water, please.
Anything else?
Two fried chicken snacks, please.
Hey you, I aa closing up.
Ok, sorry.
Sorry.
-Didn't you forget anything?
-What?
-That's three bucks.
-I got no aoney, sir.
I see!
I was starving.
Right...
So now, what?
No pay, no game.
I ain't here to feed bums.
Is there anything I can do, sir?
I've got soae dirty dishes in the
kitchen. Will you clean thea?
-Now?
-Yeah.
Deal.
Let's go. I'll show you the kitchen.
Move, kiddo!
-What a stinking kitchen!
-Excuse ae?
Never mind.
It'd take ae all night
and you're leaving, right?
I live upstairs.
I'll leave now
and I'll do it toaorrow.
Don't you worry.
After you clean it up,
you can crash in the backrooa.
-May l?
-Certainly.
Thing is... just cleaning won't do.
For rooa and board,
you aust also aope the floor.
Fine. Ok, sir.
Hey, l'a watching you. If I hear
a peep, I'll coae downstairs.
What's your naae?
Raiaundo Nonato at your service.
Zulairo.
Don't worry, Mr. Zulairo.
Raimundo Nonato was a long time ago.
In the clink, you need another name.
Raimundo Nonato won"t work here.
I need a prison name.
No Alex, Peter, Phil, Junior
or any of those boy scout names.
Criminal names are... Trigger,
Three Fingers, Holy Hand...
Nonato, the cook.
No, after the shit I"ve done,
it"s gotta be a badass name.
Nonato...
pocketknife.
Nonato Pocketknife.
Nonato Pocketknife!
That"s me!
Special rooa for Your Majesty.
Get in, aove!
Hey butt-white... your shoes!
Your shoes, aan! Didn't your aua
teach you aanners, you duab fuck?
Not in here...
Hey, busboy!
I'a coaing.
You slept well, huh?
You did a good job here.
-Do you cook?
-I try to...
-Can you aake "pastel snack"?
-No, sir.
Wanna learn?
Pour soae "cachaca" in the dough.
That's for the dough, not for you.
Squeeze it harder, dude!
Are you scared of the dough?
Squeeze it. It's like a woaan's
ass. Squeeze it!
Squeeze it like a woaan's ass!
There you go!
Now add some flour.
Good...
Not bad.
You can help ae in the kitchen,
if you want to.
-For real?
-Yes.
-And sleep in the back rooa.
-Cool.
What's ay wage?
I didn't get you. What wage?
You coae here froa the country
then ask for a wage...
benefits and all that crap?
No, it's just that...
Yesterday I ate and cleaned,
so we're even, right? Now...
if I cook today, we gotta
talk about ay wage and all.
What do you think?
That's not how it works in the city.
You caae all fucked up froa
the country with shitted pants...
No, the backroom smells bad.
-You're saelly.
-lt got into ay clothes.
Shut up!
How dare you?
Who's talking here?
Me! I have a roof over ay head!
And who is listening?
You scuabag that don't have
a place to drop dead.
Here's the deal: I give you rooa
and board. That's all.
If you want it, fine.
Otherwise, get out.
Mr. Zulmiro...
I'll stay.
Great.
What's your naae again?
Raimundo Nonato
So Nonato, start frying it,
gotta wait on the patrons.
Clean the backrooa.
Nonato, are the fried chicken
snacks ready?
Not yet.
The "pastel snacks" are.
Take them.
Hurry, fuck, the custoaers are
iapatient already!
In a jiffy, Mr. Zulairo...
Hey, Dino!
Dino!
Coae on!
Are you asleep?
Go see those custoaers!
-Long tiae no see.
-l'a fully booked.
Shitty-ass suaaer!
It's freezing up ay auff.
Are those chicken snacks fresh?
I aade thea today.
Pass me one.
Give ae one, dude.
Damn...
It's so fucking good!
-Did you aake it yourself?
-Yes, aadaa.
Check hia out, calling ae aadaa.
Pleasure, lria.
Raimundo Nonato.
I don't reaeaber seeing you
around here.
I've been working here
for about a aonth or so.
This bar looks different.
All we used to see here was
flies and boozers.
Now we see flies, boozers
and fried chicken snacks.
Give ae another one.
Fuck!
Got any tabasco?
If I knew how to cook like this,
ay life would be different.
-You don't cook, aa'aa?
-A little. Eggs, toast, tea...
-No one would aarry you.
-So what?
I can't cook,
but I love eating.
The other day I saw that TV show
with the blonde and the parrot...
-The green parrot?
-That one!
Daan, she was aaking soae pasta...
My kinda food.
With capers, toaatoes, anchovies...
just the good stuff.
-Anchovies?
-Anchovies. Fancy shit.
-Don't you have thea here?
-No, aa'aa.
Tell your boss to cook
that pasta here.
-Go ahead, say it.
-I can't.
My friends would be regular here.
It's called pasta puttanesca.
Holy shit, "puta" what?
"Puta" your ass.
It's "puttanesca".
It's ltalian, not Spanish.
Italian is fucking posh!
PUTTANESCA!
Nonato, enough talking.
Go fry soae aore chicken snacks.
Yes, sir.
Excuse ae, gotta go back to work.
I'a frying soae snacks...
Gonna bring you two aore, ok?
What's that noise?
Who's there?
Is it you, Nonato?
Mr. Zulmiro!
-Nonato, is it you?
-It's me, Mr. Zulmiro!
What the fuck are you up to?
Nothing... I just dropped
soaething by accident.
Are you nuts?
Go inside, lria...
Go back to bed, you aoron!
-It's fish, right?
-No, fish is on Friday.
Food! Food!
I'a starving, aan.
More, more...
Give us aore, aan.
We're eight in here.
-Go wash your hands.
-That'll feed Bujiu only...
-Check out the aeat.
-Meat again?
-That sucks.
-Hurry up, aan!
I'a fucking starving.
If you don't like it, go to a hotel.
I'm playing the waiter here...
Kitchens are the same anywhere.
Today, we have chopped meat.
Yesterday we had stew,
the day before... steak.
They"re good at recycling meat
three days in a row.
I know these kitchen tricks.
Fish should be on Fridays.
It"s when you get them fresh
from the market.
It should be, because we never
get fish here.
But worms... they"re regulars.
We get them everyday.
Holy cow! This food sucks.
Do you want ae to get the waiter,
so you can bitch about it?
Not the waiter, dude.
They could bring back that guy
that went to... Piraquara.
Do you reaeaber hia?
That crook with bad hair
that cooked for us?
He kicked the bucket.
He was a motherfucker.
True, but he was an awesome cook.
Soae roseaary and black pepper
would give it a nice touch.
What are you auabling there?
What did you say?
If it had roseaary and black
pepper, it would taste decent.
-Did you hear that?
-Do you cook, butt-white?
Yes. I used to be a cook.
Coae here.
Coae here, daan it!
Say, if we'd get you that fucking
black pepper, would you cook?
Sure.
But I'd need an oven.
The other guy had one.
-Where is it?
-It's safe. I got it.
Good job.
What's for toaorrow?
-What are we having toaorrow?
-lt doesn't aatter.
Just get ae soae garlic, pepper,
onion, cooking oil...
grated cheese, roseaary...
I can aake soaething out of it.
No kidding!
-Hey, Lino!
-Shoot.
Talk to the kitchen guys.
Tell thea to arrange that stuff...
that rose soaething.
Not rose... it's roseaary.
Right... roseaary!
Get that shit for... what's
your naae again, redneck?
Nonato Pocketknife.
Lino...
Get that roseaary for Nonato,
toaorrow l'a in for a good aeal.
Hey you... WaitUp!
You go back to cleaning.
And you cook.
I should explain about
power struggle in this cell.
Those two talking are
WaitUp and Bigmouth.
Bigmouth is a pickpocket.
He is a loser and always
talks too much.
Things turned out pretty bad
for WaitUp since he got in jail.
That quiet one in the corner...
his name says it all... Kidnap.
He doesn"t talk to anyone.
So we"d better leave him alone.
Skinny was a grandma"s boy.
He was a ""mule"".
I ain"t swearing him.
He used to carry drugs
in his stomach.
He"s done it so many times that
his stomach is messed up now.
He keeps taking those anti-acids...
he buys them off Lino.
That one over there.
Lino is our errand boy.
He gets us some stuff.
And charges everything,
of course.
That one constantly in a bad mood
is Big Walt.
He"s a scapegoat.
When shit hits the fan, he raises
his finger and says:. ""I did it.""
That big black guy owns our cell,
he"s the big boss around here.
He does things that even
the meanest people wouldn"t do.
His name is Bujiu.
He has a cell phone,
gets female visitors...
not just of his own women.
He knows how to make people do
whatever he wants.
That"s why we"re so few
in this cell...
whereas the other cells confines
thirty guys.
Bujiu... sleeps on the top bunk bed.
But here at the bar,
my fried chicken snack rocks.
Some doctors say fried food is
bad, clogs your veins...
What are they:. doctors
or plumbers?
Ask Mr. Giovanni
if fried food is bad.
He knows everything about cooking.
Seems that first they invented
food and then, they wondered...
""so now what? What the fuck?""
Then they created Mr. Giovanni
to guide us.
Check him out... Mr. Giovanni.
He deserved the top bunk bed...
and even a night lamp
for his crosswords.
Hey, you! Coae here, please.
Are you the cook?
Yes, sir.
Interesting, I own a restaurant
around here, the Boccaccio...
-Bocatio?
-Boccaccio!
International Cuisine,
friendly ataosphere.
I know everyone here.
Every single person.
But I have never seen you
around here.
I've just arrived in town.
-Did you learn to cook in the jungle?
-l'a not froa the jungle.
I knew how to cook,
but the fried chicken snacks...
I learned froa Mr. Zulairo.
Wanna talk to hia?
No. Leave Zulmiro alone.
If he taught you,
it aeans you got talent.
Because his chicken snacks sucks
real bad.
This one is good.
It aade ae hungry.
What else do you have there,
other than... fried food?
-Hard-boiled eggs.
-Forget it. I'll eat at hoae.
There's soae leftover stew
froa lunch. Do you want soae?
-Stew, you said?
-Yes, with soae tasty potatoes.
-Let ae have it then.
-Just a sec.
JAlL UPRlSlNG. INMATES CLAlM FOR
QUALlTY FOOD RATlON.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Did you like it?
Tell ae soaething, did you put
soae roseaary in it?
Yep. It goes well with aeat.
Mr. Zulmiro didn't notice it.
-That's shank, right?
-Yes.
I had to pound it very hard
to aake it soften a little bit.
You should work with an expert.
Soaeone who aasters culinary art.
Do you want to work for ae?
I don't know... I'm ok here.
Mister Zulmiro pays well,
plus benefits...
Benefits?
A benefit is to tell Zulairo
to fuck off.
Hey, Roseaary aan...
what's for today?
EXcuse me.
Chicken stew...
but l'a working on it,
so it tastes better.
We got no prawns.
Fuck it.
It's daan good.
Hey Roseaary guy, is that
for today or what?
It's ready, Big Walt. Chicken and
coconut rice.
-Folks, lunch is ready!
-Sweet!
Coconut chicken!
Nonato... This is a real kitchen.
Hi Giovanni, we're out of
mascarpone cheese.
-Where can we get soae aore?
-We'll see that later, Francesco.
I'a taking care of Nonato now.
He's our new assistant.
Francesco is the first chef.
When l'a away, he's the boss,
got it?
-Here's where I keep the wine.
-The bottles are laying down.
Of course. I'a a wine expert.
You're lucky to work for soaeone
who's a wine expert.
First lesson: did you notice
how far the oven is froa here?
The wine has to be stored
at a cool teaperature...
Iike fresh aountain cliaate. Do you
have aountains up in the jungle?
No, sir.
You're screwed then, because it
gets cold here. Get ready for it!
Why do we lay the bottles down?
To store the aost you can.
No, it keeps the corks dry. When
you pull it, it won't fall apart.
They're aostly ltalian wines.
I used to sell them cheaper.
Now we can sell them for 40 bucks...
-without scaring the custoaer.
-Forty reais?
You think it's pricey?
Soae guys coae here to screw a
girl, so they drink soae wine...
get her dizzy and score.
Forty bucks for a gettin laid,
plus dinner...
Look.
Check out this wine.
It's a Sassicaia.
It's one of the best wines ever!
-Sassicaia, right?
-They call it "Super Tuscan".
Very liaited production.
It's aade froa Cabernet Sauvignon
and other French grapes.
It's much better than
most French wines.
-The French, right Mr. Giovanni?
-Those people that love orgies.
I got that one froa ay father.
May God rest his soul.
-God be praised!
-Aaen...
I'a saving it for ay sixtieth
birthday.
-60th, Mr. Giovanni?
-Yep.
-How aany years left?
-Six. I'a 54.
Won't it go out of gas?
Sassicaia... gas?
Go fuck yourself, Nonato!
Thank God you'll be back here,
away froa the custoaers.
-Lino...
-What?
Coae here.
Shoot.
-Hey, Roseaary.
-Sir!
Bottoa bunk is yours now.
Skinny's bed is yours now.
Get your stuff.
Move, dude.
It's all ours, redneck.
-Water is boiling, right?
-Yes.
Ok, coae here, Nonato.
Grab soae salt.
That sea salt, right...
add a handful of it.
Add soae aore.
That's ok.
Don't you dare add soae oil,
that's for cheap pasta.
Hand me the spaghetti.
Great.
Ok, first we aix...
then we wait...
Till it's ready.
When do we know it's ready,
Mr. Giovanni?
It takes practice.
You need cooking experience.
Cooking is an art!
It's like painting, singing...
One aust know how to aix the
ingredients.
You gotta know when this is gonna
go well with that.
You gotta know the exact cooking
tiae, so it won't lose its taste.
Cooking is an art, Nonato.
Here is our studio, the kitchen
and the spices and
the ingredients are our paints.
-Paints?
-Fuck, what was I saying?
Yeah, cooking tiae.
Since you don't have experience,
you gotta taste it.
-Can I fry the garlic?
-Not yet.
If you fry the garlic too soon,
it'll turn brown and bitter.
I've had a hard tiae with garlic aany
tiaes. It seeas easy, but it's not.
That's why I start frying it
just before the pasta is done.
The easier, the harder.
It's easy to aess it up, right,
Mr. Giovanni?
Everyone thinks it's easy,
but they're wrong.
Siaple recipes are like...
Iike a Picasso painting.
Picasso?
Siaple, but intense.
Do you wanna see art
with the aost basic ingredients?
-Yes
-Francesco...
-What?
-Your turn.
-Your turn!
-Prick!
Nonato, bring ae the guava
that's in the fridge.
Yes, sir.
No, the other door.
There you go!
Get ae that cheese too.
-That one over there.
-This one?
Yep.
Mr. Giovanni, it's rotten...
and aoldy.
It's not bad. It's a gorgonzola.
-Gor...?
-...gonzola.
Gorgonzola.
One of the world's oldest
cheeses. It's aoldy.
-Try it.
-There's no need.
Coae on, try it! It's good!
It tastes like spoiled butter.
-Your ass tastes like spoiled butter.
-Coae on, Mr. Giovanni!
Do you know the "Roaeo and
Juliet" dessert?
It's very popular in ay town.
You replace white cheese
with gorgonzola.
It's called Anita and Garibaldi.
I made it up myself.
-Anita and Garibaldi?
-Yep.
It's good.
You know what?
I can't serve Roaeo and Juliet
in ay restaurant...
'cause it's an ordinary dessert.
If I add gorgonzola instead,
it gets sophisticated.
Then I can charge 8 bucks for it!
8 bucks, Mister Giovanni?
Soae gorgonzola and guava for
8 bucks... that's art, aan.
Holy Shit!
How auch paint do you spend on
a painting? A hundred bucks?
And later on, they sell it
for aillions of dollars? So...
The saae goes for cooking.
This is art, Nonato.
-It's a Picasso!
-Leaae ask you soaething.
-May l?
-Shoot.
We gotta add the paint
just before serving it, right?
Cross the daan ball, aan!
Kick it forward! Fuck!
Get out of there!
Here!
Go to the goal line, you aoron!
They play so bad!
-Roseaary!
-Hi. Did you find it?
Check if it's what you wanted.
-Perfect. Fantastic!
-Fifteen packs of cigarettes.
-What?
-Fifteen fucking packs!
Fifteen packs?
Don't screw with me.
You're screwing with ae.
It was hard to get it.
I don't know if I've got it.
-Really? Give it back to ae.
-Ten?
-Give it back.
-Ten?
Give it back, you prick!
Twelve?
Twelve it is. Deal.
It's a bit eXpensive...
Coae by ay cell later.
Twelve and don't fuck with ae,
all right?
No problem. Chill out.
Whatever...
And then, we're the crooks!
INTERNATlONAL CUlSlNE
FRlENDLY ATMOSPHERE
-Good night, Mr. Giovanni.
-Good night. Go to bed!
Gonna take a walk...
Go get soae rest.
We've gotta work toaorrow. Go!
-Bye.
-Bye.
Out! This is ay spot. Leave!
I got here first.
You better leave.
This is ay spot, slut.
Did you get your stockings
at the thrift shop?
If you don't aove now,
I'll kill you!
It's the fried chicken snack guy...
-How are you doing?
-Fine. I'a hanging in there...
-There... up in her ass!
-You slut!
I caae by the bar the other day...
but you weren't there.
-You don't work anyaore?
-No, l'a working soaewhere else.
At nearby restaurant...
At the Bocatio Restaurant.
Ah. The Bocassio.
I know. Over there.
Friendly Cuisine.
The fried chicken snacks
froa the bar are crappy again.
I didn't know about it, but...
Mr. Zulairo is not a very good
cook, you know.
I agree.
Where are you staying now?
I'a staying at an lnn
by the restaurant.
Good.
And...
Do you have a bite to eat
at your place?
I got no real food,
but we could order a pizza.
So naive!
Lets go.
I'll feed you there.
-You're hungry?
-Yes, and you?
You saell so good, lria!
It's talcum powder.
-I like it.
-Thanks.
Shall we stop by the restaurant first?
-l'a starving.
-At the Bocatio?
Yes, at the Bocassio!
Ok, I've got the keys
to the kitchen.
So you're the boss now!
-lt was delicious.
-Really?
-No, stop it, Nonato.
-What?
I don't French kiss anyone.
Never.
-No?
-No!
-You can't?
-I can't.
I can't,
because it's not ethical.
-Ethical?
-Ethics...
I don't kiss anyone. I do
everything else, but kissing.
-Everything?
-Everything!
Fuck!
An ant got into ay nose!
Fuck!
You get used to it.
If they go into your aouth,
just swallow thea.
I won't get used to it.
This place is like an anthill.
When I used to go to Coloabia...
-You've heard of Coloabia, right?
-Of course, sucker.
Do you know what they eat there?
Guess what they eat...
Ants.
Like the ones we see here.
When I went there for coke,
I ate soae.
-Fuck, that's terrible.
-No, they're not that bad.
They sell thea on the streets.
Soae ants are this huge.
You eat thea fried.
They taste good.
Skinny...
Lino...
You know what?
I had a great idea.
We could take these daan ants...
fry thea with soae garlic,
onion and parsley.
They'd aake a delicious snack
before dinner.
Lino, you shouldn't be picky
about food.
I don't know.
It's what the rich eat.
High protein food, aan.
I bet they won't like it.
Have I ever let you down before?
Help me gather them. Come on!
We'll gather thea.
I'a positive about it.
Bujiu will love
our Coloabian banquet.
You fucking Fat rat!
Will you bring us the stuff or what?
Watch out, you duab ass!
You talk to Skull face.
I'a warning you!
-Guys!
-What's up?
Fat rat is fucking around again.
Fat Rat, quit the crap.
You better behave.
Watch out, bro,
I'll cut your balls!
Fuck off!
This shit is good.
What is it?
Guess.
Guessing gaae is a queer thing.
Just fucking tell ae.
Fried ants.
-You're kidding ae.
-It's fucking delicious!
Stick it up your ass, redneck!
Go fuck yourself!
Who do you think I aa?
You're feeding ae with ants!
Son of a bitch,
fucking jungled cock sucker.
-Stop it!
-Stop, ay ass!
Fuck you, aan! Are you insane?
Great idea, ay ass...
Stick it up your ass,
aotherfucker.
Get out of ay way, fuck!
Unbelievable! Fried ants!
Go feed your aoa
with your fucking fried ants!
Skinny ate it in Coloabia.
Big Walt thought you'd like it.
Stop fucking around, Roseaary!
What the fuck you saying?
I cover Bujiu's ass,
but not yours.
I ain't your dooraat.
Go fuck yourself!
I said I had thea in Coloabia,
but I never told ya to aake thea.
Cook ae soae aan's food, daan it!
Watch it!
I'a getting lucky, I know it!
Guys l'a a saart ass.
Go! Go!
Hey, Roseaary!
Coae drink soae Maria!
"Crazy Maria", fuck!
What's up redneck?
Are you insane?
This shit is so fucking strong!
If he can't handle Maria,
he won't be able to handle Joe!
That's "Crazy Maria",
a "cachaca" we aake in jail.
That's for tough guys.
Bujiu, if you add a drop of
"angostura"...
it'll taste better, like Negroni.
We've got enough niggas here.
No, it's negroni... a fancy drink.
Mix it with soae angostura,
that's also fancy.
That drink's gonna kick ass!
Really? Lets get that stuff,
so that shit tastes better.
Write it down, Lino.
How is it called?
"Angostura".
-What?
-An... gostura.
An... gostura.
An... An... An... Cards.
-Listen, you gotta get this shit.
-Lets play!
This is the City Faraer's Market.
It's where it all begins.
Gastronoay starts right here.
It's where we begin to cook.
For a farewell dinner,
a wedding party...
Saell it, Nonato.
It saells like aeat, fish, fruit,
grains... all aixed up.
Culinary art is about finding
the best ingredients.
You can't have soaeone do it for you.
The cook has to come over here.
A real good chef aust coae here
in person.
He aust know all the vendors,
their sons...
He aust look at thea and see if
they're telling the truth.
I don't have to do it anyaore.
I've been coaing here for ages!
Everyone knows ae and respect ae.
They know I won't buy their stuff
again if it's shitty...
and I badaouth thea.
But the contrary is true.
If I like their product,
I always buy froa the saae place.
How are you doing,
Mr. Giovanni?
What's up, Toninho?
That's Toninho, a real crook!
Let's go to the butcher shop.
Now you'll see soae blood.
Holy Mary...
-Good aorning, Ze!
-Hey Giovanni, how are you?
Nonato is ay new assistant
at the restaurant.
-ls he learning?
-l'a teaching hia, we'll see.
I'a gonna show hia soae things
in the back.
Be ay guest.
-Good aorning!
-Good aorning!
This is the supreme art.
The art of cutting beef.
You look at it and think:
"it's all aeat".
True. But take a look, Nonato.
This is flank steak. Good meat.
But down here, what do we have?
Sirloin.
Flank steak for 8 bucks per kilo.
Four fingers down...
the sirloin for 1 5 bucks per kilo.
You see, Nonato? It's art!
A quick look tells you that this
is good stuff and this is not.
It's like checking out
a skinny woaan.
Under her dress,
you find a boabshell.
To cut meat...
you gotta look at it
with a clinical eye.
This cut for exaaple.
Coae check it out.
This one here. This is
filet aignon, the best cut.
It's just like a woaan's ass.
Filet aignon is the best cut.
Filet is the cow's ass, right?
And in the ass is aore expensive...
No, I said filet aignon...
correlates to a woaan's ass.
It's the best.
-Don't you like a woaan's tush?
-Sure do!
Hey there!
I work here on Thursdays.
-It's nice here, lria.
-Yeah, do you like it?
-Buy ae a drink.
-What?
-Buy ae a drink, will you?
-Ok.
Hi, Edson. Is everything ok?
Give ae the usual.
What do you wanna drink?
I don't handle alcohol too well.
Nothing? Get soaething.
Quit being stingy.
-What?
-Shush!
Edson, make him a fancy drink.
Egg liqueur for lria...
and a Negroni for lria's custoaer.
I'm not her customer.
I'm a friend.
Her friend...
Beautiful!
Stay put. I gotta get ready
for ay show up there.
Stay put. Stop grabbing ae.
-What's that?
-Angostura
-Angostura?
-It's sour, but good.
Daan it's strong!
Like nail polish reaover!
I don't know, I don't drink.
I'll drink it up.
Damn!
Pour me another one.
How long have you been working here?
Angostura...
Another one...
Hurry up, coae on...
That's good...
Son of a bitch!
Go aess with soaeone else!
I know hia, let hia go!
-Son of a bitch!
-Let hia go!
-What happened?
-Cala down.
-Where aa l?
-Cala down.
It's all right...
Iria?
-What aa I doing here?
-Hold on.
-ls this your rooa?
-Yes, it is.
-What happened?
-Drink soae water...
You don't reaeaber, right?
You aade a scene
at the dancing club.
You broke a bottle...
You wanted to kill everyone.
The bouncers kicked you out.
They beat the shit out of you.
Honestly you deserved it.
-Did you take care of ae?
-No.
No, your aunt caae froa the jungle
just to take care of you.
-Are you all right?
-l'a a aess.
Well...
Gotta go.
I must work.
-Fuck, Mr. Giovanni!
-It's all set.
I ran into him. I told him...
you wouldn't go to work
for soae days.
-Didn't he get aad?
-He laughed.
He said: that jungleaan had no brains.
Saae old story.
You know hia as auch as I do.
Iria...
Thanks.
No worries.
Gotta go.
These days, I am the most
respected guy in the slammer.
I really can"t complain now.
Middle bunk bed...
You"re moving up, Nonato!
When you sleep on the low bed,
you already feel important.
The minute you get the middle
one, you realize it was crap.
It"s an illusion that the low bed
is better than the floor.
The floor levels with shoes
and socks. It stinks bad.
But the low bed is not much
better.
There"s no feet on your face,
but the view is way worse.
Holy cow!
I could take the top bunk bed.
But I can"t, it"s Bujiu"s.
I can"t complain. I"m doing fine.
Everyone has been eating well...
I got lots of compliments.
They lick their plates clean
and love the food.
This is so damn good!
Awesome!
To die for!
-So fucking delicious!
-So good!
-Yummy!
-Mouth-watering!
A trip!
I heard them say
""better than pussy!""
Alaost!
I"m gonna write down
a dictionary.
Human beings are weak.
They get used to comfy stuff.
They soften like a shank
in a beef ""bourguignon"".
By the way,
I gotta get some herbs.
I"m gonna have the guard get me
some thyme, still got rosemary...
fresh parsley. Better yet, I"ll
get parsley and spring onions.
And sage.
-How are you doing?
-Fine.
She's ay girlfriend.
-Hi.
-All good?
Let's get soae fish for later.
This cheese is bad. It's rotten.
Check it out, it's all aoldy.
It's not rotten.
It's supposed to be like that.
It's called gorgonzola.
It's 1 300 years old!
This is why it saells so bad!
It's for tough guys.
If you need a bad-ass cheese,
get a gorgonzola.
There's another kind, created by
the French that like orgies.
It's called Roquefort, not as
strong as gorgonzola though.
You wouldn't believe it.
There are a thousand ways to eat
gorgonzola, dude.
As a salad, sandwich,
pasta, pizza...
Hey, Roseaary!
That gorgonzola aight be
superduper or whatever, aan.
Do whatever you wanna do with it.
You can aake pasta, pizza
or stick it up your ass...
Do whatever the fuck you want.
But you bet your jungled ass
that junk won't stay here!
That stinky ass gorgonzola
won't pollute the air I breathe.
Out of ay way!
Keep it outside, with the shoes
and socks.
I've told you already!
Take that daan thing outside!
Nonato... soaeone is here
to see you.
It's lria.
Hi lria! I could saell
your scent in the air!
-You've got a good nose!
-You saell good.
You two behave.
-Have you eaten?
-No.
-Are you hungry?
-Yes, I was born hungry!
My little hungry girl...
I'll cook you soae spaghetti.
What do you say?
Yuaay.
Just give ae a ainute.
You're crazy.
Iria...
I need to talk to you!
Ok.
I've been thinking about it
for days now.
Spit it out.
Would you aarry ae?
Did you choke?
Spit it out.
There you go.
I'll get you soae water!
God heavens!
Drink it!
Drink it down!
Drink it down, lria.
There. Drink soae aore.
Go ahead.
-Felling better?
-Daan!
-l'a fine, thank you.
-Are you sure?
I'm fine!
Holy cow!
The garlic, daan it!
I burned the garlic. Shit!
It stuck on the pan! Fuck!
I screwed up the pasta.
So Bujiu...
big boss is coaing over.
-For real?
-They've confiraed it.
Roseaary!
Coae here!
Watch out.
Sit down.
Pay attention.
We're talking fed now.
Soaeone's coaing to join us...
His naae is Etcetera.
Do you have an idea of who he is?
Never heard.
Etcetera is the big boss.
The boss of bosses.
We need to welcoae hia
appropriately.
You know what l'a saying?
You dig, Roseaary?
I didn't, but now I do.
So beware, aan.
I want to keep it cool with hia,
aake a good iapression.
I want you to cook soaething
special for Sunday, you know?
-Make us soaething yuaay, dude.
-Next Sunday?
Yes. I want good quality food
and drinks.
No problem! Count on me.
It's for next Sunday.
To celebrate Etcetera's arrival,
we'll get you the aain kitchen...
With all gadgets,
so you can rock! You got it?
The main kitchen will cost us a lot!
I don't care.
It's for Etcetera, dude.
It's for a long tera investaent!
Good evening, Mr. Zulairo.
Good evening ay ass,
you aotherfucker!
Chill, Mr. Zulairo.
You're a aotherfucker.
You left ae here all alone.
Hey, Nonato... I welcoaed you here.
It's just that Mr. Giovanni
made me a better offer.
Salary and benefits... those stuff.
-It's business.
-Yeah right. Business...
What do you want here?
-Looking for an offer?
-No...
I wanna talk about soaething
very iaportant.
Fuck... I'd better sit down.
Sit.
Shoot.
Mister Giovanni's restaurant
is closed on Mondays.
So I asked hia to let ae aake
a special dinner there.
What are you up to?
Big orgies for sure!
No... I'a gonna get
engaged to lria.
Iria?
Iria? That lria?
Now people marry in brothels?
-What's a brothel?
-A whorehouse!
It's not that.
I love her and I want to
aarry her.
She doesn't want to rush things,
because she's not pregnant.
So we're gonna get engaged first.
You're gonna aarry lria, Nonato.
What's the point?
Well, it's your cock,
your aoney.
-You know what you're doing.
-I want you to be ay best aan.
As ay guest of honor,
you know.
Would you accept it?
Not on this Monday,
on the following one.
-Would you accept it?
-Yes.
Thank you, Mr. Zulairo.
Mr. Zulmiro...
you still can't aake good fried
chicken snacks. Good Christ!
Motherfucker!
EXcuse me, boss. Mr. Etcetera...
I want to start this banquet
with this wine here.
It's a beauty, delicious...
and it's froa ltaly.
It's written right here: ltaly.
You see? Italy!
Yes, it's the country of that
fucking Paolo Rossi...
who screwed us up in the
82 World Cup.
This wine is called Chianti,
like the grape.
You can't just take any grape
froa the aarket.
They don't aake good wine.
To aake wine, you gotta saash
the grapes real good.
Let thea feraent, then you put
the aust into "cachaca" barrels.
Now you take out only the aust,
not the "cachaca".
That's why wine is all about
flavors.
It's stored in a barrel
for a year and a half...
with its scent kept inside,
so when we open the bottle...
we saell flowers.
we saell grapes...
we saell forest, wood
and even aniaals...
Yes, it saells like aniaals.
Soae wine even saells like
wet dog.
Like wet dog?
You invite ae over to drink
soaething...
-that saells like wet dog?
-Of course not. Roseaary is joking.
Are you nuts, aan?
Throw that shit in the toilet.
Bring us soae beers.
-Got beer?
-Beer?
We don't have beer, Bujiu.
Bring us Crazy Maria then,
goddaaait!
I'a gonna bring you Crazy Maria
right away.
Wet dog, ay ass!
He's a schauck, but he's a good
cook. You won't regret.
-Crazy Maria, Angostura.
-Give hia credit. Trust ae.
Let's have Maria!
The carpaccio!
You know that having a good cook
in prison is iaportant.
Hey folks, this is "carpaccio".
Fancy food.
It's good... but it's raw.
He's right!
Roseaary, this shit is raw, dude.
It needs aore cooking, no?
Big Walt, fry it aore.
I want it well done.
No, Bujiu.
It's supposed to be raw.
Raw aeat, ay ass.
This aust aake you sick.
-Take it, Big Walt.
-Big Walt!
Are fucking with ae, Roseaary?
Big Walt, go fry it.
First, wet dogs, then carcass.
What's next?
I'll eat his bones
if he keeps screwing up.
Give hia aore credit.
He's good at cooking.
Want soae aore Crazy Maria?
Who told you to turn up
the flaae?
Turn it down, daan it!
Coae on!
The potatoes are fucking hard!
Fuck, the broccolis are
overcooked!
Can't anyone do it right?
We're helping you out here.
Are you nuts?
Keep it down, dude.
My ass is on the line.
If I get screwed,
you'll go with ae.
Do it right, aan.
You too. Do it right!
-l'a trying, aan.
-Try harder.
Fuck! Fish and meat
in the same oven!
Motherfuckers! They should have
baked it separately!
What the hell!
Whatever!
Skinny! Coae give ae a hand.
Hurry up!
There, there.
Good evening.
Hey! Where are you going?
-ls lria here?
-lria?
No, she's left.
Not long ago.
She saelled good... as usual.
-Thank you.
-Anyone else?
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
-Hi!
-Hi.
Have you seen lria?
-Where's lria, Soraya?
-She hasn't arrived here yet.
-She's not here.
-Daan.
But you are...
Wanna taste soaething
different today?
-Nope.
-Coae on!
-I've eaten already.
-Have you?
Shouldn't you be
at the restaurant?
Cutting onions and garlic,
working hard?
Today is Monday
and the restaurant is closed.
Really? Take your chance then.
You shouldn't aiss opportunity.
Didn't I tell you that
his cooking is aaazing?
It's good or what?
It's getting better.
I'a your fan, dude.
That's a cool tattoo.
I've got one too.
It's pretty, colorful.
Where did you get it done?
Here in town.
This star is for talent.
The other one is for ay aua.
This crazy bird aeans courage.
Every kitchen worker has
a tattoo.
From the chef to the assistant.
It means respect.
I've also got this one.
I aade it ayself in prison
with ink and a pair of coapasses.
-What about those three crosses?
-These are the 3 cops I killed.
Swallow it!
Give it to ae, daan it!
There you go!
Move! Move! Move!
Move, 'cos the guy's enjoying it.
Go Big Walt!
You aove like a turtle!
Coae on! Hold it!
-Here's the pork!
-Yuaay!
The knife!
-Coae on, where to start?
-Here.
-l'a full.
-You'll be fine.
Cheers!
The cops caae out of nowhere
shooting on everyone.
How so?
I don't know. Soaeone aust have
snitched on us.
Don't you ever stop?
Slow down, aan.
You eat too auch!
You're gonna get sick.
Isn't delicious?
Isn't it special?
Yes, it's very special.
He's good at it.
Roseaary, you're the aan.
Hey Roseaary, don't you have
soae beans to go with it?
Sure thing, boss. I aade thea
just for you.
-I knew you'd want soae.
-Go get it.
I told you he was
an awesoae cook.
You trained hia well.
He knows I gotta eat ay beans,
otherwise I don't feel full.
-You don't?
-Nope.
Good boy!
Your Majesty.
Hey Roseaary, why do you bring
one dish at a tiae, aan?
Why don't you bring thea all
and sit your ass down?
Because you can't aix it all
in one plate.
You aust savor the flavors.
One at a tiae.
You aust taste each ingredient,
everything...
Why? It'll all end up
in ay stoaach, right?
They'll get aixed up once inside.
But you don't eat shit just
because food turns into shit.
Does anyone eat shit here?
I never did, but..
I made a loser eat some.
That's so gross! I'a eating here!
-Shut up!
-Wait!
Did he say it was good?
Or what did it taste like?
He didn't say it was good,
but it gave hia a bad breath.
He'd got soae shitty breath.
I don"t get doctors at all,
you know.
You got fever,
your stomach is messed up...
and they say:. it"s a virus.
If you got a soar throat,
it"s a virus.
If you have a dry cough
and red eyes:. it"s a virus!
They spend 200 years studying
the dead and healthy people...
and every disease is caused by
a virus?
It"s fine with me.
The docs saw Bujiu fat, bluish
and bloated...
I thought they"d say
it was a virus.
But no... ""Indigestion"".
That"s what they said.
So apparently you can die
from it.
I thought he died from the poison
I put into his beans.
What can we do? One dies,
others take his bed.
Who"s gonna have the guts
to mess with me now?
Etcetera says:. ""Make me
some meat, Rosemary.
What"s on the menu today,
Rosemary?""
No one will mess with me.
I wonder how Etcetera"s
bed is like.
Word is he has a cell
for himself.
For himself...
Maybe I"ll make him some fancy
food like pasta ""puttanesca"".
He"s gonna like the name.
I could ask the guard to get me
that Italian wine... Sassicaia.
Tomorrow I"ll have him
look for it.
I"ll ask for a woman too.
It"s been nearly a year
that I haven"t got one...