Escape from Planet Earth (2013) - full transcript

The story takes place on planet Baab where admired astronaut Scorch Supernova (Brendan Fraser) is a national hero to the blue alien population. A master of daring rescues, Scorch pulls off astonishing feats with the quiet aid of his nerdy brother, Gary (Rob Corddry), head of mission control at BASA.

Scorch, Scorch, are you there?

Come on, Scorch, get back to me.

You haven't run off
and done something reckless, have you?

Gary, we've got a problem!

That's my brother, Scorch.

As usual, he's in trouble.

How did he get into this mess?

For that, I have to go back
a long, long time.

Forty-seven minutes ago.
Baby rescue mission. Planet Gnarlach.

Quiet, Scorch.

Whatever you do,
don't wake the Gnarlachs.

Hey, that's me, Gary Supernova.

I work in Mission Control,
which means I control the mission.

Scorch doesn't see it that way.

Relax, Gary, they're fast asleep.

And that is a Gnarlach.

Scary, slimy...

and surprisingly stinky.

Uploading that to Blue Tube.

Gary, this place smells worse
than the latrines at the BASA Academy.

Thank you for that.

Um, I was programmed
at the BASA Academy.

The only thing I smelled there
was progress.

Zip it, James.

The name's Bing, by the way. James Bing.

All right, Scorch,
let's find those babies

and get you out of there.

Bingo. Spacecraft identified.

Good. Now proceed with extreme caution.

Proceeding with style.

Not style again! Scorch! Shh!

Hah! Triple Star System
into a Reverse Galaxy,

followed by a Double Black Hole
with a twist!

And he sticks the landing!

Now proceed with caution.

OK, Scorch, the babies
should be straight ahead.

Copy that.


Bad news, little brother.
We're too late.

They've eaten the babies!

It's so unfair!

Scorch, they're right behind you.


Hi, little guys.

Uncle Scorch is here to rescue you.

Coochie, coochie, coo.

Yeah, Gary, maybe tell Scorch to keep
his voice down in this situation?

- Just a thought.
- Scorch, quiet!

Gary, you should see them.
They're so cute. It's magical.

You're gonna wake up
the whole neighborhood.

And this is not a good neighborhood.

- Peekaboo!
- Scorch?

Excuse me.

- Good, here we go again.
- Scorch!

Gary, we've got a problem!

Of course we have a problem.
You never listen to me.

You said there were 12 Gnarlachs, Gary.

No, I said 1200.

Nope, I don't think you did.

- There are 1200 Gnarlachs down there.
- Got it.

- Twelve-hundred baby-eating Gnarlachs.
- Got it.

Twelve-hundred of our archenemies,
the Gnarlachs.

- Twelve-hundred of 'em.
- Got it.

Nope. I think I'd remember
if you said 1200.

- Now do your thing.
- OK.

Chasm of death in 20 yards and closing.

Deploy grappling hook in three...



Whoo! Yeah!

You see that?

Boom! That's what I'm talking about!

Scorch me, baby!

Helpless babies, your chariot awaits.

In your face, Gnarlachs!

I got the babies! Ha-ha!

No, no.

Guys, no, no.
It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.

No, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry.

- Shh! Gary?
- " I'm on it.

Ha! Take that!

you are clear for landing on planet Dad!

Hey! This is a no-fly zone, mister.

Very funny, Dad.

I'm serious.
This console's expensive, Kipper.

Console? I mean...
I mean, I'm right here. Unbelievable.

Can I have my spaceship back?

- No.
- Dad, you never let me do anything.

OK, but be careful.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

9 “ Aah! 1.

It burns! It burns!

_ so"; (gm! ' Ad-Hey!

OK, let's play the game
where you sit on your hands.

- That game stinks.
- Hey, Gary!

Be a pal, park this puppy, will ya?

Activating remote assistance.

Time to watch your old man bring in
the Supernova-9 for a landing.

Scorch is back!

I love you, planet Baab!




And that is how you do that.

- Gary!
- What? OK, that's terrifying.

Why do you always call me
in jumbo-head mode?

We've received an SOS from
an uncharted sector of the galaxy.

Prepare for Scorch's next mission.

Copy that, boss.
Where are we headed?

He's going to the Dark Planet.

Lena, are you crazy?

Let me... rephrase that.

They call it the Dark Planet
because nobody ever comes back.

It's like going into a black hole.

He leaves in an hour.

Whoa! He's going to the Dark Planet?

Stay here. Don't touch anything.

And nobody's going to the Dark Planet.

We are going to the Dark Planet!

- Scorch!
- Scorch, one question!

No questions, just pictures.

Yeah, baby!

Excuse me, Scorch!
Scorch Supernova!

Yes, the beautiful young lady
in the front row.

Hi, sweetie. Welcome home.

- Gabby, we're live.
- Right.

Hi. Tell us about the mission.

The Dark Planet.

It's heroic, even for me.

No one has ever come back alive.

Pardon me. Excuse me.
Coming through.

- Have you had time to prepare?
- No, no, we haven't.

- Gary Supernova, my baby brother.
- I'm older than him.

Gary works all the gizmos and
bleep-bloops here in the nerd factory.

I work in Mission Control.

We use a trans-inducified
field matrix to...

And that's today's edition
of The Boring Report.

Back to you, Gabby.

For BNN, this is Gabby Babblebrock,
reporting live from BASA headquarters.

- I'm gonna marry that girl.
- And I feel sorry for her.

Now, listen, we know almost nothing
about the Dark Planet.

No one does.
We need to postpone the mission.

I would, but I've already
contacted all my sponsors.

Dark Planet Cola!
Destroy your taste buds!

This is 800 percent sugar.

That's what makes it good for kids.


Plus, I've already taken the photos
for the new cereal box.


- Just now.
- Scorchios?

There's a surprise in every box.

- Whoa, I'm pretty good at this.
- OK...

- Come... Come on!
- I could do this all day.

- Whee!
- Knock it off!

- We need to think this through.
- Lhave.

Someone out there needs my help,
and I am going to help them.

OK, but if you go now,
I can't help you help them.

You know, Gary, you're absolutely right.
There's no sense in rushing things.

Why don't you pull up the star charts
in the briefing room,

and we'll talk about this
with the whole team.

You got it, partner.

That should keep him busy.
Let's fire up the ship!

Computer, load all information
on the Dark Planet.

AH right, just a sec.
Scanning files, scanning files...

A remote M-class planet
located 400 light-years

past the Taurus Molecular Cloud.

A strange and terrifying environment,

the only known world in which
evolution is taking place in reverse.

It began with intelligent,
attractive beings,

but was soon overrun
by ugly, aggressive

and quite terrifying
dim-witted creatures.

Yuck. Gross.

As you can see, from gentle
intelligence to savage stupidity.

They have a strange custom
of dividing themselves

into what they call countries,
whose boundaries they often dispute,

which causes them to go to war.

The pattern seems to be that the winner
of the war then goes into decline

while the loser prospers.

We have also deduced
that the people of this planet choose

leaders according to the oddity
and profusion of their facial hair.

They worship money, soup, marker pens,
something called dental floss

- and this man, whose name is Cowell.
- Terrifying!

He's known for his strange
accent, being very, very rich,

showing off, wearing glasses indoors.
I like him.

One hundred and six advanced life-forms
have landed on the Dark Planet...

- What?
- attempt friendly fairst contact.

Not a single one has returned.

Uncle Scorch!

Hey, Kipper!

You were awesome out there.

Thanks, pal.
Does your dad know you're here?

I'm supposed to be waiting in his
office, but Mission Control is boring.

I know. Isn't it? It's all...

I'm more
of an astronaut, like you.

Take me with you this time.

Wow. That sure would upset your dad,
which is something I love to do.

But I'll tell you what, Kipper...

If I get into trouble,
you come rescue me.

Yes, sir! Lieutenant Kip,
Junior Adventurer, at your service!

Junior Adventurer, are you?

- Well, what have we here?
- Blast tape!

Ready for a training mission?

OK, we've crash-landed.

We're surrounded by a tribe
of slimy, green aliens,

and they are closing in on us.

What do you do? You do this! Watch!

- Take that!
- Cool!

- Time to take out the trash!
- Awesome!

Scorch me, baby!

They got me!

- Kipper, it's up to you.
- Wicked!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?

Astronaut training.

Blast tape?
Kip shouldn't be playing with it.

He shouldn't even be looking at it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Sorry, Barry.


- Back to my office.
- See ya, Uncle Scorch.


Mission Control, we've got
a mad-dad situation here.

- You're darn right I'm mad.
- Why is this ship on?


You sent me upstairs so you could
rush off to the Dark Planet.

_ Yep.

I thought we'd agreed
to postpone the launch.

Launch in T-minus 30 minutes.

It's too risky to send
Scorch out there. Please.

Drop it, Gary. I'm warning you.

I'm the mission controller.
Does nobody here care what I think?

- No.
- Not really.

- Nope.
- Then why am I even here?

It'll be fine, Gary.
He's done this a hundred times.

We've done this a hundred times.
We're a team.

I'm the brains and you're the brawn.
That's what you always said.

I said it to make you feel better,
little brother.

Scorch, stop calling me that.

You've been trying to control me
your whole life.

Isn't that why
you joined Mission Control?

I'm looking out for you.
That's what brothers do.

You sit around here pushing buttons

while I am out there risking my neck.

Yeah? I'd like to see
you do it without me.

Any time. Any place.
Little brother.

If you insist on going through
with this idiotic macho stunt,

you can count me out.

Buh... wai...
You're gonna quit?

Well, you can't quit!
You... you're fired!

You can't fire me.
Because I quit! Humph!

- Hey, Mom!
- Hey, space ranger.

Come on, boy.
Let's go play flisbee.

- You're home early.
- Scorch fired me.

What? He can't fire you.

That's what I said, so I quit.

So you quit after you were fired?

Hey, whose side are you on?

I think someone should lock
the two of you in a room

until you figure out how to get along.

I hope he gets stranded.

What are you doing, Dad?

Just working on the old rocket boots.

Cool! Can I help?

Following in your dad's footsteps,

Hey! That makes this
an official father-son moment!

What's this do?

Whoa! Look out!

Aah! Incoming!

Gary! Why is there
a rocket boot in our bathroom?

This is BNN.

We are live as
Scorch Supernova investigates

a mysterious intergalactic cry for help.
Brought to you by Dark Planet Cola.

Dark Planet Cola!

Scorch is stepping off
the Supernova-Q now.

is he looking good in that suit.

Let's go live
to the Dark Planet's surface.

This is Scorch Supernova,
live from the Dark Planet.

I'm here responding
to an intergalactic SOS call,

and on the lookout for helpless victims.


Switching over to remote cams, Gabby.
Wish me luck.

Our planet's greatest hero,
risking life and limb...

He's so awesome. I'm gonna be
just like Uncle Scorch someday.

Well, better have another kid.

- Gary.
- Just what every father wants to hear.

My son wants to be like
my dim-witted brother.

Relax. He's excited.

Besides, what could Scorch possibly
give your son that you can't?

I dedicate this planet
to my nephew, Kip!

I got my own planet? Awesome!

OK, that's pretty hard to top.

There appears to be a light source
coming from a light of some kind.

No, no, no. Don't do it!
Do not go into the light.

- Going to the light.
- Wow.

It's so beautiful.

A victim! Commencing rescue op.

Greetings! We've heard your call
for help and have come to save you.

I am Scorch Supernova.

Strange. On my planet we shake hands,
but we can do it your way.

That's humiliating.

Boy, you sure love to wave.

I love it, too,
but my arms are getting tired.

What was that?


_ [air hissin _ NO! gl.

No! Hang on!

Look at me. Look at me!

Don't you die on me, buddy!


Moving in.

- Scorch!
- We got a blue one!

All he wanted to do was wave!

Peter, Jackson is down!

Man, what is it with aliens
and this desolate roadside 7-Eleven?

Halt! Alien! Do not
use your advanced technology against us!

- Marty, Quentin, move it out!
- Scorch me, baby.

Get out of there!

Time to take out the trash!

Who's next?

Yeah! Look at him go!

Not now!
Scorch is in real trouble.

Aim for the space-suity thingy!

Look out!

Time to get outta here.

That's not good.

Gary, we better find
another way outta here.



OK, I take...

You know something?

I love you guys.

Welcome to Earth.

Tag him and bag him, boys.

The Baabian Aeronautics
and Space Administration have confirmed

that all communications
with Scorch Supernova have been severed.

At this point, we can only assume
that our planet's greatest hero is...

is dead?

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

- No.
- You said you hoped he got stranded.

You wanted this to happen!

I'm sure your father didn't say that.
Did you?

We've gotta get
to the Dark Planet and find him!

Just hang on, Kip.

Come on. Come on, pick up.

Hello, Gary.
I thought you quit.

This is important.
Scorch has been captured.

- We've got it under control.
- Come on!

Dad, Uncle Scorch told me
to come rescue him.

- We can be the rescue team.
- Kip!

We're his family.
We need to go save him.

I'm doing everything I can.

You're not doing anything!

You're talking on the phone!

Go to your room.


Kipper, I know you want to rescue him,

and it's very brave of you.

Even though your uncle and I
fight sometimes, we're still brothers.

And I will do whatever it takes
to get him home, I promise you.

I love you, buddy.
Come on, give us a hug.

_ [barking ~ I.

Kip? Kip!

Kira! Kip's gone! Kip's gone!

- What?
- The rescue pod.

We've gotta get
to BASA before he does.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?

We're using the rocket boots.

Are you crazy? The gyroscope is off,
the thrust mechanism is broken.

They're not ready to fly.

I spent 15 years as a BASA test pilot.
It's not rocket science.

That's exactly what it is.
They're rocket boots!

Gary, turn off your brain and hang on.

This is staggeringly dangerous!
You're not even in a rocket boot lane!

Look out!

' Qh!
- Sorry! '

- This is so emasculating.
- Do you want to drive?

No, I want to live.

You're actually very good at this!

Look out! Look out! Look out!

Sorry, Barry!

We're coming, Kipper.

Where is he?

- Kip! No, Kipper, no!
- Kip, stop!

' Kip, up here!
' Kipper, please!

Automated launch
in T-minus 60 seconds.

Kip, up here!

Gary, look out.

This is a bad idea.

Mom! Dad! Are you coming?

No, honey, this isn't a game.

It's stuck!

Gary, do something!

I'll shut down the launch.

Twelve, eleven...
You've chosen Terminate Launch.

- To confirm, say yes.
- Yes.

- You said "banana." Is that correct?
- No.

- You replied "no."
- Gary, hurry up!

Terminate Launch canceled.

_ N I fHA/Tea“ Yes!

- Is that a yes or a no?
- No.

Did Say yes? es!

- Yes, you said yes, or...?
- Yes! Yes!

It's stuck!

Sorry, Gary. Did you say
yes to Terminate Launch?

' Yes!

Launch terminated.

- That was close.
- Kip, you scared me.

I'm sorry. I promised
Uncle Scorch I'd go save him.

Don't you ever do that again.

No. Kip's right.

Scorch is my brother.

- Honey?
- I've gotta go save him.

Wait. What are you doing?

Launch sequence reengaged.


LlovgDad! You guys!

- T Dad!
- ' Gary'

Lena, I need your help.

- Kira!
- Gary was on that pod!

Don't worry.
We'll make contact as soon as he lands.

No, no, no. You have to send
someone after him.

I don't have to do anything.

You don't give the orders
around here anymore.

Gary will never survive out there alone.

Please, bring my dad back.

Don't worry, little guy.
We're doing everything we can.

What can I do to help?

You're the one who wanted
to be a stay-at-home mom.

So why don't you stay at home
and let me do my job.

Prepare for final approach,
Gary. Fasten your seatbelt.

I thought this movie
was supposed to be in 3-D.

Shh. It is in 3-D.

OK, that's better.

Area 48.

Area 49.

Area 50.

Landing gear deployed.

Landing gear destroyed.

Please exit with caution, Gary.

Contents may have shifted
during the flight.

It's all over the place, isn't it?

OK, OK, don't panic.
Remember your training.

The safest thing to do
is wait in your pod.

Self-destruct sequence initiated.

What? Self-destruct?
You're a rescue pod!

Rescue pods don't self-destruct.

- This one does, Gary.
- This is ridiculous!

- Twenty-nine, 28, 27...
- Hey, anybody! Help!

Is that your plan, Gary?

- Sixteen, 15...
- Come on!

Ticktock, Gary.
Come on. You're running out of time.

- Water landing, monster attack... Aha!
- Ten, nine...

- Foolishly trapped inside pod!
- ...eight, seven...

six, five...

Time to panic.

Three, two...

one. We're toast.

The technology
in this suit is incredible.

- Now open it.
- Yes, sir.



Ten thousand times more powerful
than atomic energy.

Hey. How'd that get in there?

You're awake.

Let me go! Let me outta here!

Shh. Go back to sleep.

You're listening to Far-out,
Far-right Hour on C-Dub FM.

Let's go to the phones! Caller?

This is Hawk calling.
I work at 7-Eleven near Area 51,

and after years of waiting,
it finally happened!

You had a date with a girl.

What? No. A close-encounter, man!

We looked out the window

and this blue dude
was standing right there.

- It was awesome.
- Hawk, Hawk, Hawk, listen to me.

If what you say is true,

they're here for one reason

It's OK, bro! We're friends.

- What are you doing?
- We gotta make a good impression.

We need a peace offering.

It's OK, little guy.

Welcome to Earth, blue buddy.

In an effort to avoid enslavement,

I offer you the finest chilled
refreshment known to the human race.

He likes it!

Of course he likes it.
Where's your brand loyalty, man?


You're gonna regret it!
Don't do it!

Calm down, blue buddy. It's OK.

It's called a brain freeze.

If you're gonna hang with us,
you need to learn to sip.

Take him away!

- Put me down!
- Little blue buddy...

Stop this! Let me out!

Hello, creature from another world.
Welcome to planet Earth.

You are now a guest
of the US government.

When interacting
with the inhabitants of Earth,

or humans, you should abide
by the following basic etiquette.

Handshake, good.

Death ray... bad. No vaporizing.

Modern Earth culture

eating human flesh,
probing, silver jumpsuits,

abduction, Communism, nudity.

If you or someone you know is
responsible for building the pyramids,

we'd like to know about it.

If you've been to the Bermuda Triangle
and brought someone home with you,

please return them immediately.

And, finally,
if you're a resident alien,

please report
to the immigration desk on level 316.

We hope this has been
an informative look at our planet,

and urge you not to seek war against us.

Enjoy your stay here at Area 51.

Let's take a peek
into that head of yours.

Brain scan processing.

Stupid. Simple. Dimwit. Average.

Smart. Genius. Genius. Genius...

We got ourselves a real genius!

Shanker's gonna want to meet you.

Here's the brainiac, sir.

So... you're the genius.

What are you gonna do to me?
Probe me? Dissect me?

- Chop me up and eat me?
- Relax.

I'm a big fan of your work.


What have you done with my brother?

We'll get to him soon enough.

This is your design, isn't it?

How do you know that?

Well, color me impressed.

And I consider myself a connoisseur
when it comes to alien technology.

I could use a man with your brain power.

You see, Gary,
I run a work release program.

You work, then I release you.

You are going to make sure my latest
project goes off without a hitch.

I'm not doing anything
until I see Scorch.

You can whine
till you're blue in the face,

but I call the shots around here.

[FifigtOne . Dlayn _ N91.

Everyone out, now! Double-time!

Wait! Wait! We're not finished!
Where's my brother?

Hello, Shanky-panky.

Hello, my darling.

You look ravishing.

You always say that.

That's because it's true.

- Did you get my present?
- Yes.

- I did.
- So do you like it?

It's... OK.

Pookie, what's wrong?

Nothing, it's fine.
I just... I was expecting more.

Well, that was just a sample.

There's more coming, I promise.

I'm bringing enough
so we can rule the universe together.

Hurry, my love.

Gentle, gentle.
Just set me down nice and easy.

Hello? Anyone?

You can't do this! I know my rights!

Hey! Hi there, roomie!

Hey, are you finished with the toilet?

I'm Thurman. Pleased to meet you.

Hello. My goodness.
You're all covered in slime.

- You're all dried out.
- Not anymore.

I'm from Zaddlebrok 475.

- Never heard of it.
- You've heard of Zaddlebrok 473.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
- It's two planets over.

Makes sense.

Anyway, you should settle in.
Throw your stuff on the bottom bunk.

I gotta get outta here.

Don't I get a phone call?

A phone call? A big-screen TV?

Egyptian cotton sheets?

This is Area 51, man. Wake up!

Keep it down!
I'm trying to get some shut-eye.

I get it.
Shut-eye. You've got one eye.

Are you making fun
of my one eye?

Easy, lo. Remember the program.

Just stick to the program,
stick to the program.

I apologize for my outburst.

My name is lo, and I'm working
through some anger issues.

She seems nice.

Yeah, great gal. I'm Doc.

- You're a doctor?
- Radio talk show therapist.

Same thing without all the training,
credentials or qualifications.

So, Little Boy Blue, you got a name?

Gary. I'm here looking for my brother.
Have you seen him?

What's he look like? Blue like you?

Yes, exactly like me
except with huge muscles

and a chiseled jaw and perfect teeth.

OK, so you're the ugly brother.

Well, I wouldn't put it that way.

It's not a question.

Look, Scorch can bust us out of here.

He's got a ship. He can get us home.

There's only one way out of here.

Invent enough cool stuff
and Shanker lets you go.

That's how Area 51 works.

He lures the smartest aliens
from across the universe

and throws us in jail.

Take Thurman. He was a professor.

Those four hands invented
touchscreen technology.

Or lo. She used to be a librarian.

She got so mad
looking stuff up for people

that she invented the search engine.

And most importantly, me.

After my radio show got famous,
I invented social networking.

I've got five billion
pending friend requests.

That's how Shanker
bankrolls this place.

He rips off our technology
and sells it to the world.

He's got deals with everybody.

Apple, Facebook, them Google guys.

You think humans could build this stuff?

I don't think so.

Who do you think invented the Internet?

Cell phones? Computer animation?

We did!

Thank you. I love tech history.
But have you seen my brother?

Attention, aliens. Please
report immediately to the cafeteria.

And remember, levitating in
the passageways is strictly prohibited.

What the heck is that?

There is only one creature
in the universe that snores that loud.

Scorch! Scorch! Wake up!

Space hero test today. Didn't study.

What the...?

Needs a whole salad to sleep.

Gary? Hey, Gary!
What are you doing here?

I'm here to rescue you.

You're rescuing me?
I'm still dreaming.

I come 15 light-years
out of my comfort zone to save you,

and this is the thanks I get
from my own brother?

Try ex-boss. I fired you.

No, I quit.

And your first mission without me,
you wind up in jail.

And where did you end up? Jail.

You two should make an appointment.

Attention, aliens. Lunch
is now being served in the cafeteria.

Please be mindful of the joes
as they are unusually sloppy.

The launch station computer
will tell us where Daddy is.

Locate Rescue Pod 13.

initiated at 2900 hours.

- What?
- Self-destruct?

Play back in-flight camera.

You're a rescue pod!
Rescue pods don't self-destruct.

This is ridiculous!


Only Mission Control can destroy a ship.
Somebody here had to give that order.

Quick, get down.


Keep still.

OK, that's good.

- Hurry up and get it loaded.
- You got it, boss.

That much Blubonium
could blow up the whole galaxy.

- Cool.
- No, no, no, not cool.

Very, very not cool.
We have to tell somebody.

Tell somebody what?



' Go, Kipper!
- Hey!

Let me go!


I gave you a chance to go home, sweetie.
You should've taken it.

Little rat got away.

It doesn't matter,
he's just a kid.

- Tie her up and bring her with us.
- Wait! What about Gary?

Gary? That coward?
He's never coming back.

Thank you.

Hit me with some jiggly cubes.

Hi, guys. Not sure
if you guys are guys.

Or ladies. Either way, no problem.

Those are the Greys.

No one knows what Shank has got on them,
but they do his bidding.

So don't get on their bad side,

What's UP, eggheads?

Give me two of everything
and one more of anything.

Some things you just can't teach.

What are... what is all this?

We have lots of alien delicacies.

B/orm, Phrebbish, Zumft, diet Zumft,

free-range Zumft,
non-dairy gluten-free Zumft.

And if you're looking for something
a bit more refined,

we got fresh plarbe.



You know what? I'm not hungry.

- Aliens.
- After you.

I've seen a lot of jailbreak movies.

All we need to break out of here
is a diversion,

a shovel and a blowup dummy
of ourselves.

It's not that simple, Scorch.
Don't be reckless.

And from now on,
let's whisper our escape plan.

That's your problem, Gary.

Always wishy-washy, never taking action.

That's what makes me the heroic brother.

You're some hero.

Without me, you're nothing.

Ooh, big words
from a computer-loving mama's boy.

No, they're regular-sized words.

You're just too dumb to understand.

Good thing Kip's gonna be a hero
like me, not a coward like you.

You take that back!

Nice, Gary. Nice. Real mature.


- Right in the kisser!
- Food fight!

We have a food-related disturbance
in the cafeteria!

- Get him!
- Stop! Get back here!

Come here, you little runt!

- How the tables have turned.
- Hey!

Well, that was lucky.

Stop this right now
before somebody gets hurt.

All right, that's it.


It's on!

- Now you've done it.
- Bruce, look out!

Willis, run!

People, people, where are your manners?

You're the one talking
with your mouth full of yourself.

Do you have to do that now?

Hey, practice makes perfect.

George! Lucas! Let's go!

- It's the fuzz!
- Get 'em!

Christopher! Nolan! On your feet!

Hello, my dear.

Stop right there!

How dare you slap a commanding officer!

All right, alien...

Scorch, behind you!

- Nice!
- Thank you.

Guess who!

Let's get outta here.



I'm king of the world!

You missed.

Ooh. I told these guys, "You'd
better not food fight," but they did.

I'm gonna sweep this up.

Report to the peace shield,
on the double.

This is the peace shield.

It's an asteroid gun.

Nothing says peace
like a giant gun?

It's overkill if you ask me.

But it's America.
They supersize everything.

You guys built this thing?

Took us almost ten years.

Now we're just waiting
the power source.

Then we can go back to our home planets.

- Or sun.
- Or sun.

Seriously? You live on the sun?

Yep. You can't beat the weather.

Even though you didn't
work on it, you've gotta sign the floor.

Anything for a fan.

That's a lot of names.
Where are all those guys?

Shanker's been building this thing
for years. He probably let 'em go.

Get your hands off me.

You'll never get away with this.

The beauty of it is, I already have.

With Scorch and Gary gone,
who's gonna stop me?


- What the...?
- Time to take out the trash!

- Kipper, no!
- Scorch me, baby!

Come back here!

- Let my mom go!
- "Scorch me, baby."

- You monster!
- Aw, I wish I had my camera.

What a perfect family portrait.

Look alive! General's coming in hot!

Shh. Don't do anything stupid.

Soldiers of Area 51, the final
piece of the puzzle has arrived.

That's a Blubonium reactor.
How did he get his hands on it?

Somebody smuggled that thing in my suit.

What's the big deal?

Do you have any idea
how powerful that stuff is?

Prepare for test firing.

- You heard the man!
- Go! Go! Go!

My old friend, Halley's Comet.

Not back for another 50 years.

So... who's gonna miss it?

Targeting Halley's Comet.

Preparing condolence card
for Halley's family.

Target acquired.

Hasta la vista, Halley.


Yeah, baby! It works!

We're going home!

- Yeah!
- Awesome!

Hot diggity!

- This is not good.
- Yeah!


Come on, guys, lighten up.
It's party time!

Get down with your bad self!

There's enough Blubonium
in that thing to blow up a planet.

Well, are we gonna sit around
"Garying" this to death

or are we gonna
do something about it? Ha-ha!


- Are you nuts?
- Put that down, now!

Get him!

' Ha!

You're going down!

- James, Cameron, get the alien!
- Scorch me, baby.

Brace yourself, boys!

Stop him!

He's walking all over you.

Stop him!

How you like me now?

No! My reactor!


Get him out of here!

- No, stop!
- Gary, stay out of this!

Bring the little one, too.

You got him right
where you want him, Gary!

If you can't fix that reactor,
nobody's going home. Ever.

His quiet anger is even angrier
than his loud one.

You useless blue moron.
Do you realize what you've done?

I saved millions of innocent aliens,
'cause that's what heroes do.

You failed at your evil plans,
'cause that's what villains do.

And this crumb got stuck on my face,
'cause that's what crumbs do.

- Scorch.
- It's OK, Gary.

Do what you want with me.
I'll never help you.

I thought you might say that.


Scorch! No!

- Any last words?
- Yes.

Friends, aliens, countrymen,
lend me your tentacles.

Don't think of me as a hero.

Think of me as a guy who acted
heroically while full of heroism.

Have you been practicing this?

Gary, tell Gabby I love her.

Tell my fans I love them.

Just as a general rule, if anyone asks,
tell them I love them.

Hey, Gary, I love you too,
little brother.

- Goodbye, cruel galaxy.
- No!

Well, looks like
I've got time for a few more.

Tell the guy that waxes my ship...
what's his name again?

It doesn't matter.
Just tell him that I love him.

And the people at Dark Planet Cola,

- tell them I love them.
- Stop. We get it.

No. Stop! I'm a BASA engineer.
I can fix the Blubonium.

Don't help him, Gary!
We did the right thing!

' No!

No! Scorch! Let him go!

As soon as you fix my peace shield.

And one more thing.

If you tell any of the others
about this, I'll freeze you all!

Get in there, alien.

You got some nerve
walking in here after that stunt.


- Where's your brother?
- Shanker's got him.

- Why'd he let you go?
- Because he thinks I can fix it.

- Can you fix it?
- Of course. I'm a BASA engineer.

Thank goodness.

- But I don't think I should.
- Say what?

- I fix it, we all go home, right?
- Exactly. What's wrong with that?

Shanker ends up with the most
powerful weapon in the universe.

So he's got a toy for shooting
down asteroids. Big deal.

You saw what it can do.
Who knows what he'll blow up next.

What if it's your planet?

Don't be paranoid, Gary.
It happens to smart people all the time.

You start thinking too much
and it gets the best of you.

You guys
actually trust Shanker?

- We're kinda low on options here, Gary.
- What choice do we have?

We refuse to fix it.

Then what? Stage a silent protest?
Come on, man!

You want us to be stuck in here forever?

I don't know what to do, OK? Just let me
sit down for a second and think!

You mean sit around and do nothing.

Well, we're gonna try to fix it.
Are you coming or not?

You know what? We don't need you.

Come on, Thurman.

Cut the red wire.

No, no, no! Cut the green wire.

- Scratch that. I'm colorblind.
- Quiet! I need to concentrate.

My third eye, it's messing me up.
I can't do it!

So that's it? Game over?

Step away from the Blubonium.

My man! Thurman, you're fired.

You sure you know what you're doing?

I scored a 12.0
on my galactic engineering exams.

Do you know what that means?

You had no friends in high school?

It means in a galaxy filled with nerds,
I'm their king.

I hope this works.

We're going home!
It's time to pay my parking tickets!

Gary? Is that normal?

- Come on, Thurman, don't be paranoid.
- OK.

- Whoa!
- Gary! Gary! Gary...!

Speech, Gary!

Pack your stuff and be ready to go.

I'm going to get my brother back.

- This one was asking for you, sir.
- Leave him with me.

I'm here for my brother.

Gary... finally a team player.

I did what you asked.
I fixed the reactor.

And just in time.

Imagine how powerful I'll be
with all this Blubonium.

- What? How did you...?
- You call yourself intelligent life.

These are fun.

I could do that all day.

Let us go! You got what you wanted!

Why let you go now,
only to hunt you down later?

Hunt us down?
But we come in peace.

Nobody comes in peace.

I was six years old
when they took my father from me.

Think about this, champ.

With that many stars out there,
there just has to be intelligent life.

- Golly! Can I have a look, Pops?
- In a minute, son.

What? What is that?

Good gravy! It's a UFO!

Son, you wouldn't believe it!

This is the moment
I've been waiting for my entire...


Before you join your brother,

there's one last thing
I'd like to show you.

Hey, don't ask, don't tell.

Not the hair, you idiot.

- Lena!
- Hello, Gary.

I see you've met my fiancé.

- Fiancé?
- We met online.

Get with the times, Gary.

Your whole family has been
meddling in my business.

- Time to say goodbye, Gary.
- Kip! Kira!

- Lena, please, he's using you.
- He's using all of us.

OK, he's just jealous
he couldn't have you.


How could you do this?

You think I'm actually
in love with an alien?

When she leaves your planet with
my Blubonium, I'm gonna blow it up.

But Baab's just the beginning.

I'm gonna wipe out the alien infestation
one planet at a time.

If you destroy every planet
with intelligent life,

you'll have no stars left in the sky.

My stargazing days are over.

Let me out!

Hey, congratulations. You're free! Not!

No, you can't do this!

Please! Let me out of here!

I don't know if you can hear me,
but... I'm sorry.

My plan was to get you out of here,
not end up frozen beside you.

I failed you. I failed my family.

All the planning in the world
doesn't amount to anything

without a hero to make it happen.

I tried, brother!

\'m sorqfl.!


So that's Gary's wife?
How'd he make that happen?

I know. Isn't he all like...

Kip, I told you to run.
You shouldn't have come back.

I couldn't leave you, Mom.

A Junior Adventurer
never leaves a man behind.

Kipper, this isn't a game.

I know. I'm not a little kid anymore.
That's why I came to rescue you.

And you're very brave,
but now we're both stuck in here.

That's because
I'm not done rescuing you.

Blast tape?
You let them catch you.

Mom, I'm gonna need you to be quiet.

Kip, be careful.

I can't believe
we're guarding a lady and a kid.

- It's embarrassing.
- Is this a daycare?

Here goes nothing.


Open the door! Open the door!
Hurry up!

Kip, look out!

Consider yourselves scorched!

Come on,
we don't have much time.

I've gotta stop that ship.

You go hide in Mission Control
and lock that door behind you.

Copy that!

This whole villain thing,
it's not you.

You know? And the stress is aging you,
if I might be...

Shut up.
Don't you have a mute button?

It's locked.

Our government thinks asteroids
are Earth's biggest threat.

But some of us know better.
The biggest threat to planet Earth?

Global warming.


We will wipe out their planets
before they come for us.

Our first target? Planet Baab!

That's Gary's planet!

Targeting planet Baab.
Target acquired.

Excuse me, sir?
Sorry to interrupt.

Just wondering approximately
what time you'll be sending us home.

Is he really this stupid?

The only place you're going
is the freezer.

I trust there'll be
no more outbursts?


Danger. System malfunction.

Why isn't it working?


No! It's a trap!
Shut it down! Shut it down!


System overload.

Evacuate! Evacuate!

Seriously. Get out of here.
Everybody, out!

Scram. Gotta go. .


They're off! We're free! Whoo!

You're all gonna pay for this!
Freeze the aliens!

Lo, get up!
It's time to get mad, girl.

What about the program?

Forget the program!

Tasers to full power!

Yeah! Take that!

That's what you get
when you mess with the Doc!

We might wanna get out of here!


Scorch, hey! Come on!

- Scorch!
- Gary?

It's good to see you.

Are you OK?

Of course I am.
Nothing can stop Scorch Supernova.


I'm having a bit
of a leg situation over here.

You're still thawing out.

Gary, I'm too heavy.
Go! Save yourself.

Scorch, I couldn't.

I'm not serious!
Come on, put some back into it!

Get me outta here!

I'm free!

- Ooh!
- A Snarkbeast.

Don't worry. They look mean,
but they're completely harmless.

I'm free!

I'm not free.

Maybe I'm thinking
of something else.

- Dear.
- Yummy!

- No!
- I don't think so.

Got outta that place!
I'm starving here!

Let me go!

0y vey.


Come on, now, you saved us.
We couldn't leave you behind.

Us aliens gotta stick together.

Whoa! Hello, talking rat.

Why you gotta disrespect me like that?

Gary, I could kiss your brain!

Destabilizing the Blubonium
was brilliant.

I taught him everything he knows.

He's still frozen. Grab a leg.

I'm covered in slime. I can't do this!

Come on!

They're heading for the elevator.

- Locking it down.
- Leave them.

They're sitting ducks in there.

Alpha Team,
they're headed your way.

Copy that, sir. All right, boys,
set your freezers to ice cold!

Move! Move! Move!

So, Gary, what's the plan
when we reach the top?

Just give me a second,
let me think.

You'd better think fast.

Here we go.

Aliens, come out to play.

_ _

- Where'd they go?
- I don't know.

- I don't see 'em!
- They're not there!

They're gone.

- Now!
- Whoo-hoo!

Freeze 'em!

- Get 'em!
- Fire!

There he goes!

- Find him! Find him!
- I'm out!

I can't believe you talked me into this!

- Shoot him!
- Don't freeze up out...

Hey, Gary, check it out!
The freezing wore off!

Aw, come on!

Whoo! Did you see that? I am the man!

- My lips!
- Come on, come on, let's go!

Ouch! My lips got stuck!

It's a simple binary lock circuit.

I'll just reconnect
the main IC control switch...

Haven't I taught you anything?

Got it.

- Yes!
- Freedom!

Nice work, brother.

Scorch, where's the ship?

Follow me! It's this way!

Actually, it's this way.

I get it.
Being the villain can be lonely,

but you're looking for love
in all the wrong places.

He's using you.
What's wrong with Zane in Sector 113?

- He's a lovely chap. Just...
- Shut up already!

Get me Shanker.

What do you want?
I'm kinda busy right now.

What's going on?
What happened to your hair?

Those blue idiots you sent
ruined everything.

- Nothing's ruined.
- This is all your fault.

If you screw up this delivery,
we're through!

No! I'll make it up to you, please!

Turn this ship around.

Kira? What are you doing here?

Let's go home.

I bet it makes you happy
seeing me like this.

No, of course not.

How could I have been so stupid?

He used me.

It's never too late
to do the right thing.

You're just like Gary.

So innocent. So naive.

Please! Lena, help me!

It doesn't have to be like this!

You thought you could stop me,
didn't you?

Little Miss Housewife saves the day!

You've betrayed your people!
You've betrayed your planet...

and you're not fit
to wear this uniform!

What? You think just 'cause a chick
has kids she can't dish it out?


Computer, reset course to planet Baab.

Hurry up! The ship's down there!

I gotta lay off the burritos.

I cloaked it as one of their spaceships.

Come on!

- Sorry!
- Dude, don't you knock?


Hammer, get out here!
You're never gonna believe this!



I'm going! I'm going!
Nope! Two down, a hundred to go.

Scorch, which one is it?

Blue buddy, what's up?

My brother cloaked our ship and lost it.

- Close the door! I'm changing!
- Nope! Ha!

No problem.

- False alarm?
- Yeah.


- Tornado?
- Out of my way!

- Take cover!
- My God!

My cooler!

Come on, quick!

Aha! There it is!


Hi, honey! I'm home!

- Sweet ride!
- There it is!

Wait! Aren't you going to abduct us?

We don't really do that.

- They come in peace.
- Awesome.

- Whoa.
- Fly, blue buddy! Fly!

[flaughs, 9a$P$]

_Uau9hs g . ~ Yes! 0mg home!

Gary, I love it!

Trashing bad guys, flying spaceships,
we might be related after all.

You know, in some strange way,
I'm gonna miss this place.

- I hate this planet!
- We got company!

Hang on.


Sweet flying, Gary!
I didn't think you had it in you.

Nobody panic! I mean nobody else!

I'll panic for all of us.

I don't fly well.

When I feel queasy, I try
breathing deeply through my nose.

Careful with your warning
shots. Shanker wants 'em alive.


- We're hit!
- No!

- What's going on?
- The computer's fried!

- Our steering's gone.
- No!

No! I've seen this in a movie!
It does not end well!

Mayday! This is Supernova-9!
We're going down!

I repeat, we're going down!

We're a dead stick!

This is the Supernova-9!

- What?
- We are going down!

" Dad? ' Kipper!"

- Yeah, it's me, Dad!
- Where's Mom?

Put a grown-up on, bud,
we're in trouble.

I'm the only one here, Dad.

Kipper, this is serious.
We're going down.

No, you're not.

Kip, what are you doing?

Supernova-Q, you are go
for remote assistance.

OK, Kip, this is just like
flying your remote control ship.

What? This is nothing like
his remote control ship!

Just a little to the left.

Too much left! Too much left!

We got a student driver?
Every man for himself.

We're gonna hit that cliff! Pull up!

Take out their engines.
Let's force 'em to land.

- They're shooting!
- We're not gonna make it!

I've got this, Dad. Trust me.

Pull up! Pull up!

- Three...
- Pull up!

- Kip?
- ...two...

Pull up!


Get out! Get out!

- Yes!
- We made it!

See ya later, suckers!

- Yes! Whoo!
- Yeah!

Mission Control,
that's some good flying.

- I told you, Dad, I got this.
- Way to go, Kipper.

Uncle Scorch?

Everyone is on board and accounted for.

_ Hey 9uY$ Sa ' s s y m.

- What's up, little man?
- Pleased to meet you.

Dad, there's something
coming up behind you!


I'm not finished with you!

It's Shanker!

He's got my mission suit.

I made some modifications.
You like them?

What's going on?
Why aren't you moving?

We're caught in a tractor beam.
You've gotta get us out of it!

It's not working. We're burning up!

We gotta knock off that tractor beam.

Nice one, Gary.
How do we do that?

We take it out at the source.

You mean go down there?

Be logical, Gary. You're asking me
to jump with no chance of survival.

I'm not asking you to do anything.


- He made it!
- Come on, Gary!

Get your hands off my brother!


- Scorch, what are you doing?
- We're a team, brother!

- Don't you remember?
- Aah! Help!

Hey, pal, we're having a moment here.

" 0w! _."

Get your face out of my hand!

Let go of my hair!

Hurry UP!

I guess this is it.

We were a good team!

You know, I always looked up to you.

- You looked up to me?
- I'm serious.

Great wife, great kid.

I always thought
I could do that one day.

You would've been a great dad.

- Hey, Gary?
- Yeah, brother?

I'm sorry for firing you.

Actually, I quit.

What the...?

- Gary!
- What...?

You! Thank you.

Don't mention it.

- You can talk?
- Of course.

- Occasionally.
- From time to time.

Why did you save us?
I thought you worked for General Crazy.

At first, we felt bad
for squishing his dad.

Turns out he was
a psychopathic megalomaniac

bent on destroying every known form
of intelligent life in the universe.

Who knew?

What are you gonna do with him?

- Can't say.
- It'll give you nightmares.

You're gonna pay for this.

I thought I told you, we come in peace!

Ouch! Wow.

- First punch-out?
- Yeah.

- Feels good, doesn't it?
- Yeah. Yeah, feels great.


That was amazing!
I would've jumped, too,

but it looked like you guys
had everything under control.

This little guy's great.

- Can we keep him?
- Put me down!

- Let's go home.
- Whoo-hoo!

All right!

It's good to be home.

Mission Control, bring us in.

Check your six, Supernova-Q.

- Hiya, honey!
- Kira? How did you...?

That's my wife!

Gary, how'd you hook that up?

I always thought you were a little...

What does that mean?
Everybody always says that.

Beats me.

I've come to expect
the unexpected working with Scorch,

but I don't think anything
could have prepared me

for working with my family
to save our planet.

I guess life's pretty
unpredictable after all.

Yay, Scorch, you're the best!

You're so awesome!

Yay, Scorch!

I love you, planet Baab!

- Yeah, Scorch!
- Yes!

- Way to go, Scorch!
- You saved us!

No more hero stuff
for a while, OK?

Are you kidding?
I'm never leaving the house again.

- Dad!
- We love you, buddy!


Kipper, that was amazing.

We're so proud of you, bud.

You were awesome out there,
just like your uncle.

You are gonna be
a great astronaut one day.

Maybe even as good as me.

Thanks, Uncle Scorch.

But I'm more of a mission controller.

Like my dad.

Gabby Babblebrock, BNN, coming through!

It's good to see you!

Gabby Babblebrock, BNN.

Tell us what it's like to be
the greatest hero in the universe.

You're gonna have to ask him yourself.

Give it up for my little brother,
Gary Supernova!

Hey, I'm older than him.

- Gary! Gary!
- So Gary, we still a team?

Somebody's gotta
watch your back. Little brother.


That's my brother, Scorch.
He's in trouble, again.

Seventy-two hours later,

he was on the most
terrifying mission of his life.

Scorch, do you copy?

Yeah, brother. I'm scared to move.

Remember your training.
You can do this.

- I'm not gonna make it, Gary.
- Don't say that.

I'll be by your side
every step of the way.

MY Wingman?

Your best man.

And do you, Scorch Supernova,

take Gabby Babblebrock
to be your lawfully wedded wife,

- to have and to hold...
- Lo, are you crying?

No, I just got something in my eye.

Let's never break up, guys.

And do you, Gabby Babblebrock,
take Scorch Supernova

- to be your lawfully wedded husband?
- I do.

And so, by the power vested in me

by the Intergalactic Association
of Radio Talk Show Therapists,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Let's part3'!

- Hey, Scorch, way to go, man!
- Hey, thanks for coming.


No! You're OK!

I can't believe you made it!

Nice to meet you.

Here we go again.

Yeah! That's it, that's it!


Come on, Gary.

Well, this is humiliating.

You know, you don't have
to travel millions of light-years

and defeat a deadly intergalactic enemy

to find out that the greatest story of
all is right here on your home planet,

with your brother, and your own family.

Love you guys!