Erin's Guide to Kissing Girls (2022) - full transcript

As middle school is ending, Erin, the only out person in her grade, and Liz, fellow comic nerd and track star, find their friendship tested when Liz is accepted to private school and Erin falls hard for new girl and ex child-star,...

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh Ooh ♪

♪ Yes you soothed my mind
in the electric jungle ♪

♪ Interstellar vibes in
my heart on the run ♪

♪ Don't you take my youth away ♪

♪ My youth away ♪

♪ Mm-hm mm-hm mm-hm mm-hm ♪

♪ Please don't take
it away from me ♪

♪ Away from me ♪

♪ Mm-hm mm-hm mm-hm mm-hm ♪

♪ Yes you soothed my mind
in the electric jungle ♪

♪ Interstellar vibes and
my heart on the run ♪

- And the gold goes to-

- Shut up!

- Erin!

Boom boom boom boom!

- You're so mean!

Oh, I heard this really
good song yesterday.

Hold on, let me just...

Yeah, okay.

Wait, let me hear.

All right, just wait, just wait.

- Oh.
- Right, right?

It's good.

It's good.

- Being like, "Oh my God,
Chris, I love you so much!"

And it's like, "What,
you're literally 13."

- No, did see her in
science the other day?

- Yeah.

- She like, she
was wearing that...

Like she had like,
pink eyeshadow

from like, here to her eyebrow.

She really thought she
did something, huh?

- Oh, I have a present for you.

I think you're gonna like it.

- You're a lifesaver.

Where'd you find this?

- I don't know.

It's some random guy on Etsy.

Yeah, when you said your
mom went shopping for you,

I kind of feared for the worst.

- Well, if I get into Riverside,
it'd just be a uniform.

- You could not pay
me to wear a uniform.

- Okay, well, at
least everyone's kind

of equal that way.

- Yeah, and totally
blend into each other.

- Anyways, I probably
didn't even get in.

The kids that do train
at like varsity level.

- Um, excuse me.

You are the fastest person
in the entire world.

And if you don't get
in, then I dunno.

The school's stupid.

You can just be track
star at Redwood.

- Yeah, I guess.

- Oh shoot, we should hurry.

Ms. Harris is gonna
burst a blood vessel

if we're late again.

- Well, if you insist.

What are you waiting for?

- I have so many regrets.

E, F, G, H.

- You're not
doing it right.

E, F, G, H.

- You have to make
them bigger burps.

I can barely hear your burps.

- Nice shirts virgin
girl and Scarlet tampon.

Where'd you get them?

- Don't you hate
it when straights?

♪ Bad girl ♪

♪ And I mean business ♪

♪ But I'm that girl ♪

♪ I only hustle
with the queen sis ♪

♪ I'm in this ♪

♪ To win this ♪

♪ We run these streets ♪

♪ Rock vintage ♪

♪ Designer ♪

♪ We been brought heat ♪

♪ Walk in and it's a problem ♪

♪ Fix your face
while I'm talking ♪

♪ Oh you about to
see the squad ♪

♪ Like who want it ♪

♪ Who asking me if we run it ♪

♪ Who thinking that
we can't back it up ♪

♪ Who thinking
that we fronting ♪

♪ Hold up hold up hold up ♪

♪ My swag different ♪

- Bigger burps, come on.

K, L, M.

- No, no.
- Hi, Janet.

- G.

- Hi, Derek.

- Oh, my God.

Looks like it's that
time of the year again.

- She's probably
gonna do something big

'cause it's her 13th birthday.

- If you spill juice on my
mom's couch again this year,

you're dead.

- When did I even spill juice?
- Last year.

- I think that our new
tradition's way better though.

- Yes, yes.

Okay, I made a list.

Please, narrow it down.

- Okay.

Definitely one of
the blood baths.


- Didn't you think that
homework was kind of hard

last night?
- I didn't do it.

- Not surprised.
- Who did?

- It's useless.
- Yeah, so pointless.

- Leave my
childhood alone.

- Teacher's corner
is just garbage.

- So boring, exactly.

- And if we have
time Killer Cat.

- Yes.

Oh, I was also thinking maybe
the new Kittens with Claws:

Curiosity Killed the Cat.

- Well, here's a thought.

What if we acted like
civilized human beings

for one morning?

- You still
have the couch?

- Yeah.

- If we can't find it, we can
always go with Murder Moose.

- Ew.

- Okay, we're gonna
do fractions today.

What's up with those, right?

You don't know the half of it.

Does anyone know how
to add fractions?

Okay, well, we keep the
denominator the same

and we only add the numerators.

- Bret.

- Let me guess.

Here for the new
Punisher Warzone.

- Is it in yet?

- Yeah, it got here
just before you.

I cannot believe this
comic is still going.


- I cannot believe
you just insulted

the greatest comic
to ever print.

- Yeah, don't pretend

like you're not a total
Crystal Green fanboy.

- How would you know
what's cool anyway?

- Yeah, aren't you like a dad?

- I'm 29.


- At least I wasn't born
with a cell phone in my hand.

- At least I don't make
loving avocado toast

and iced coffee my
whole personality.

- At least I won't die

in a horrific
climate apocalypse.

- Wow, that was too far.

- Well-
- Whatever.

- since you care about
the planet so much-

- Please, do not do this.

- it's only fair that
I reuse my plastic.

I promise I counted.

- Bye.

- Thank you, have a blessed day.

♪ It's time we split ♪

♪ It's time we split ♪

- Girls?

- Hi, Vivian.

- Hi, Erin.

- Uh, we're gonna go upstairs.

- I want you ready to head
to training in an hour, okay.

- Yeah, I know.

- Well, last week we
missed intervals, so.

- Mm-hm, I'll be
ready, don't worry.

- Oh, my God.

- Wait, is that
from Riverside?

I got in.

I got in.

I got in.
- I knew it.

- I got in.
- Congrats.

- See, I told you.

- Go call your dad.

I'll make the reservation
tonight to celebrate.

- I'm gonna call dad.

- Don't forget we
have a math test in two days.

Tonight would be a good time

to do the chapter practice quiz.

All right, let's pick
up where we left off

with natural selection.

Oh, perfect timing.

Everyone, this is Sydni.

Our very own
classroom celebrity.

Do you wanna introduce yourself?

- Hi,



- Okay, great.

Well, you can sit
right over here.

And this is your textbook.

Actually, Sydni, why
don't you read for us

from the top of page 78?

- Maybe she'll sing it.


Farah, can you get the lights?

- Natural selection
is the process

through which populations
of living organisms adapt

and change.

Individuals in a population
are all a little different

in some ways, but some
individuals have traits

better suited to their
environment than others.

Those individuals
with weaker traits

are far less likely to survive.

- Go, Chris.

- Go, Jarred.

You got this.

- Woo.

- Go on without me.

- Stage one.

- Why does that new
girl look so familiar?

- Right?

Is she like an influencer?

- You mean you don't know?

That's Lola.

Like from "Good Morning Lola".

- She just moved here
from San Francisco.

- That show like, raised me.

- Do you think it'd be weird

if I asked her for an autograph?

- Do you think she still
talks with Officer Whitlock?

- Didn't he die?

- I don't think so.

- Apparently,
during her audition,

she forgot like all of her lines

and she just made something up
and they thought it was cute.

That's how she got her role.

- She's so hot.

- I know.

- Oh, my God, my
legs are so sore.

- God, you were like
huffing and puffing like...

Oh, I'm gonna die.

- I was going to die.

- No you weren't.

- It's like the rest of school.

- Erin, hey, can I ask
you a question real quick?

When you two hang
out, is it like.

- Oh, Scarlet Tampon.

- Oh. my God.

You guys are so mean.

- Just ignore them.

- So are all the boys
at this school virgins

or is that just you two?

- Chill, it was just a joke.

- Jokes are supposed to be
funny, like that haircut.

- Yeah, whatever, Lola.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Like dynamite ♪

♪ Need a cheerleader ♪

♪ Let me throw you down ♪

♪ While I look at her ♪

♪ I'm like "Oh, my God ♪

♪ I think I need a girlfriend" ♪

- Now, before
we head home,

I think the dance committee
has an announcement to make.

Janet, Julie, Jessica,
do you want to...

- As some of you
may be aware the...

- Eighth.

- Grade.

- Fall formal is about
a month away now.

- Unlike other dances,

the eighth grade fall formal
takes place after school hours

in the evening.

- We will also be
handing out prizes

for things like best dress.

- Best dance moves.

- And cutest couple.

And now to announce
this year's theme.

This year, your fall
formal theme is...

- Sadie Hawkins.

- That means girls
get to ask the boys.

So everyone put the
15th in your calendars

and let's make this the
best fall formal yet.

♪ Keep your hands up ♪

- Wow, that was something.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

Go home.

- Oh, my God.

I'd rather pull out
my own toenails.

- Yeah.

- It's looking bleak.

Scarlet Sparrow has used
her very last infinity arrow

and Lunar Girl's too weak
to produce any more shields.

The Shadowman closes in on them.

When, out of nowhere,

a ray of light burst
through the darkness.

A glowing figure emerges
covered in stars.

She easily vanquishes the
Shadowman with her lunar ray.

She then turns to our heroes.

"The moon queen is
dead," she says.

To be continued.

- Dude.

It's so epic.

- Really?
- Yes, yes it is.

I don't know if
this is blasphemous

but you could like give Crystal
Green a run for her money.

- Shut up, no way.

- Yes, you could.

- Crystal Green is
like a perfect goddess.

- Um, who is this new character?

- Oh, I just made her up.

Her name's Adelaide.

She's like a moon
princess or whatever.

- So is Lunar going to
the moon by herself?

- Oh, um, I don't know yet.


- You can't do that.

- Why not?

- They're a team.

You can't separate them.

- I guess.

- If lunar were to go
to the moon by herself

it would- it would be...

- So do you wanna go with me?

- Okay, but only if I get
to keep these doughnuts.

- I am so glad that
after another six months,

I never have to see any of
these basic Barbies ever again.

- So you're going to
Riverside for sure then.

- Yeah, it has like, one
of the best track programs

in the country.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Just don't forget me when
you're big and famous is all.

- As if, okay.

What was I talking about?

Oh, I really don't think

that Lunar should go
to the moon by herself.

They should be together

because Lunar hasn't been
home in a really long time

and I think Scarlet Sparrow
would make it so that...

- Okay, how
is everyone feeling

about "Anne of Green
Gables" so far?

Okay, has anyone
read chapter 15?


- Huh?

- What about you?

- Um, am I supposed
to like Gilbert?

He's kind of a jerk.

Like don't- don't
pull on people's hair.

That's just rude.

- Oh, my God, don't
be so sensitive.

He obviously did that
because he likes her.

- That's so problematic.

If you need to
physically assault a girl

to tell her that you like her,

then you should just probably
stay far away from her.

- Okay, yeah.

Some interesting ideas.

Let's unpack that.


- I like Lola better
when you can mute her.

- Well, I'd like
you a lot better

with my fist in your
face you douche bag.

- Oh, my God.

- Mr. Johnson.

You're here.

- Young lady, could you join
me in my office, please?

- Oh, my God.

Did you see Derek's face?

- He can be so annoying.

- Sydni just- just
totally shut him down.

Like completely.

She's incredible.

- I mean, I basically
said the same-

- And she didn't even care
when Mr. Johnson walked in

like, at all.

I would've been
freaking out, but-

- Sydni, that was so badass.

Can you teach me how
to be that cutthroat?

- Aren't you guys like friends
with them or something?

- Who, Chris and Derek?

Ugh, they're the worst.

They've both been like in
love with me since grade one.

What happened with Mr. Johnson?

- Um, he said that he
wants me to participate

in something called
mindfulness minutes.

- Oh, yeah, they're trying
to rebrand detention.

Anyways, I'm having
a party next weekend

and I'd love for
you to be there.

- Thanks.

- So how did you
get into acting?

I'm trying to break in myself.

- I was like, six.

- Okay, bye.

- Oh, my God.

She's so cool.

- Oh, do you like Lola?

- Sydni.

I- I mean, no.

I don't...

I don't know.


I dunno, shut up.

This could be my chance
to finally kiss a girl.

- Do you even know
if she likes girls?

Does she even know you exist?

- Don't worry about it.

I have a plan.

- So Daniel is building three
shelves for his wife, Emily.

He has a piece of
lumber, 12 meters long.

He would like the
bottom shelf...

Nope, the top shelf to
be half a meter shorter

than the bottom shelf

and the bottom shelf to
be half a meter shorter

than twice the...

Wait, is that right?

- Erin, yeah.

- Why does Daniel have
to build the shelves?

Why can't Emily do it?

- Uh, well, I don't-

- And why are all the
examples men and women?

- Well-

- This textbook is oppressive

and I'm not gonna stand
for it any longer.

- What is happening today?

Breathing in tranquility.

Breathing out that
which doesn't serve us.

Breathing in tranquility.

Breathing out what
no longer serves us.

Well, I certainly
feel calmer already.

Not thinking at all about
how I'd rather be at home,

watching "The
Bachelor" with my cats.

Well, why don't you
two practice that

and I will step
out for a moment.

- So have you seen those
cologne ads by the bus stops?

What women really want?

- No.

- Did you sing the intro
for Good Morning Lola?

- Could we not with
the whole Lola thing?

- I never thanked you for
after gym the other day.

- Yeah, well, making fun
of boys is like my hobby.

- Yeah, I always think
of really good comebacks

right before I go to bed.

Like who dressed you, your mom?

But I can never think of
stuff in the- in the moment.

- That sort of thing.

Does that happen with
those guys and you a lot?

- No, that's- that's
just Chris and Derek.

I mean, nobody actually cared
or whatever when I came out.

- My mom's are gay.

- Wait, what?


- Yeah.

- Whoa, that's so...

That's so- that's great.


Yeah, oh, that's-
that's so cool.

Oh, my gosh.

- Hey, you know, I'm sorry
about snapping at you earlier.

I just don't wanna be known
as the child actor freak.

- Yeah, it's okay.

People just need to
get to know you better.

You got an invite to Janet
Wexler's party, right?

- Yeah, but I don't
think I'll go.

I mean, I don't really
know anybody so.

Are you going?

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, of course.


Yeah, everyone gets invited.

Janet's parties are the best.

- Wicked.

- We could maybe go
together if you wanted to.

- Yeah, I'd be down.

- Okay, amazing.

Let's move on to positive
affirmations, mm.

- No, because I
swear her and her cats

definitely have matching shirts.

- For sure.

I bet she calls them
her furry babies.

- Um, I'll text you
about the party.

- Yeah, awesome.
- Cool, yeah, later.

- Bye.

- What was that about?

- Liz, Sydni has gay moms.

- Huh?
- Like moms, plural.

Moms that mom together.

She's even cooler
than I thought.

- She has gay moms?

- So I'm gonna ask her
to the dance, right.

And I figure that when
the mood is right,

when we're slow dancing, I'm
gonna go in for the kiss.

- You're gonna ask her
out to the fall formal?

- Yeah, why?

- 'Cause we hate dances.

- I know, but it could be fun.

- No, it couldn't.

I'm planning on avoiding
as many people as possible

until graduation.

- I don't know, I just...

I really like her, okay.

- Fine, I'll help.

- Really?

- When do you plan
on asking her out?

- I was thinking
Janet Wexler's party.

- But we aren't
invited to that party.

- Mm, about that, um, I
may have said that we were.

- Hmm.

Ahuh, okay.

This'll be a disaster.

- It'll be fine.

We'll just...

We'll stick together and
it'll be like a mission.

Operation catch that kiss.

- How long did it take you
to come up with that one?

- Only like an hour.

- What about our
anti-Janet party?

- Oh, we'll do it next weekend.

Come on, Liz, please.

I need my wing woman for this.

- Ew, ew, okay.

- Please.
- Ew, no, okay.

Stop making that face.

It's gross.

- You are the freaking best.

- Okay, help me up.

- Oh, yeah, how was practice?

- It was not good.

Everyone kept running into me.

Like, what the heck?

Stay in your own
lane or go home.

- Okay, have you seen the
trailer for Killer Cat Two?

- Yeah, it doesn't
look that bad.

- Okay, the knives that like,
they used from the last one

that's not how to close.

♪ I like girls ♪

♪ I like the girls who leap ♪

♪ And lazy chairs on
the rolling green ♪

♪ And when they smile at
me from under shady hats ♪

♪ I smile back at them
because well, oh ♪

♪ I like that I like girls who
don't know they like girls ♪

♪ I like girls who
really like girls a lot ♪

♪ I like the girls ♪

Hey, uh, you look like
you're strong and independent

and don't need a man.


I'm not a man.

Would you like to go
to formal with me?

Hey, can I take
you to flavor town?

♪ I like girls ♪

♪ I like girls ♪

Are you a photographer?

'Cause I can
picture us together.

Not to be corny, but I
think you are a-maize-ing.

♪ Butchy girls, rugged girls ♪

♪ Curled up girls, girly girls ♪

♪ Girls from all
over the world ♪

Did you just fart?

'Cause if you did,
that's totally fine.

I actually happen to think
that girls can be gross too.

Wanna be gross together
at the dance, m'lady?

Hey, do you know what
this jacket's made of?

Oh, uh, wait, I think
it's girlfriend material.

- Erin.

I didn't know you were coming.

- Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.

- Is that Elizabeth behind you?

- Hi, Mrs. Wexler.

- Hi, sweetheart.

♪ Good morning Lola ♪

♪ Good morning world ♪

- Yep, that's- that's me.

- It is so exciting to meet you.

Well, come in.

Come on, you guys.

It's a party.

So when you have
that many followers,

you just have to give
them what they want.

They want me.

I'm their star.

I show them how to do makeup.

The party is right
in here, guys.

♪ From take out to steak house ♪

♪ I'm also playing bro ♪

♪ I've been playing
for the upper hand ♪

♪ Conversations
with the upper man ♪

♪ Got a vision they
don't understand ♪

♪ Cuss on a stranger ♪

♪ Stranger's a failure ♪

So long story short,

and that's how I ended up
with my own YouTube channel.

- Mom, please stop
pushing your channel.

- What are you doing here?

- Um, is- is there
a spot for gifts?

- Oh, yup,
no give it to me.

I'll take it right here.

There we go.

I'll get that.

Yep, okay, just- just...

- Thanks.

- I got it.

It's good.

Okay, yep.

You guys need anything,
I'll be upstairs, okay.

I'll get you some soda, okay.

- Syd, over here.

- We found Mr. Johnson's
"Christian Mingle".

♪ I'm the queen about
to claim dominance♪

♪ They be hating
like they Elmer Fudd ♪

♪ Envy boiling at
the sight of blood ♪

♪ Giving smokers just feedback ♪

♪ Dunkin' shots
do the lean back ♪

♪ Takers off will never empty ♪

♪ Let's just keep burning up ♪

- Oh, cool.

- That's so weird.

Oh, my gosh.

Ew, what is he doing?

- Like, look at that post.

- Literally look.

- Look at the profile picture.

Did you see his other posts?

- I know, look.

- Totally.

Oh, my God, he's so random.

- Do you mind?

- Oh, yeah, totally.

Um, I'm just gonna
go get snacks.

- Oh, my God,
okay, I just shaved.

- Well, if you want
it to stay away,

you should probably wax.

- Oh, God, no.

Not after what
happened to Rebecca.

- Well, I'm not saying
you should wax there.

- I think Jessica
stuffed her bra.

- Huh?

- Look, her boobs are
like, all like lumpy.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, you're right.

- Erin, can you
show us your leg?

- What?

- Can you show us your leg?

- Uh,


- Yeah, see, told you.

- Yeah, I didn't- um, I
didn't have a chance to shave

before the party.

- Oh, my God, you can't
shave your legs now.

It's getting so luscious.

- Stop it.

- Uh, so Liz, I heard
you got into Riverside.

- Yeah, I found out
like a week ago.

- Wait, like this school
for like super athletes

or whatever?

- Yeah.

- Whoa, that is so cool.

So do you have to be on like,

some certain runner's diet or?

- Um, I- I kind of just eat
whatever I feel like eating,

but you know before...

♪ Good morning, Lola ♪

♪ Good morning, world ♪

♪ Play my viola ♪

♪ With my hair all curled ♪

- Can you not?

- Are you kidding me,
you we're just laughing.

- It's not funny.
- It was a joke.

- Stop, just stop.

- Why are you
so cranky?

Are you on your
period or something?

- You did not just say that.

- Yes, I-

- Oh, sorry.

I didn't realize
anyone was waiting.

- Oh, no- no I wasn't.

Um, I- I just wanted to check

to see if- if you
were like, okay.

- I guess I'm just always
gonna be known as Lola.

- Maybe you could
shave off all your hair

or get like a face
tattoo or something

then that's all people
would care about.

- What are you drawing?

- Oh, um, just a comic.

- Can I see?

- Sure.

- You drew all this?

- Yeah.

Um, they're not like my
characters or anything.

It's sort of based on this
comic that Liz and I read.

Uh, Lunar Girl and
Scarlet Sparrow.

It's pretty good.

Um, but yeah, I just sort
of make up my own stories

for the characters.

- Yeah, cool.

I read fan-fics.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- What kind?

- Usually like, space operas.

- Cool.

Um, speaking of operas,

do you like music?

- Yeah, I-
- Sydni, where'd you go?

We're doing presents soon.

- Guess we should get going.

- Yeah.


- Oh, my God.

Jules, this is so cute.

Thank you.

- Oh, um, that one's from me.

It's, uh, supposed to be
you, but like as a superhero.

- Uh, why do I have purple skin?

- Well, uh, your dad
actually is, uh, is an alien,

but like secretly.

Um, I wrote up a whole
backstory on the inside.

Oh, and that's for each of them.
- Uh, thanks.

- Does anyone wanna
play truth or dare?

- Oh, God, that would be fun.

- I know.
- Okay, shut up.

Everyone, get into a circle.

- Should I grab
the whipped cream?

- Oh, my God, no, no.

That took forever to
get out last year.

- Yeah, that was so funny.

- Anyways.

Kira, truth or dare?

- Truth.

- What was the worst
kiss you've ever had?

- Okay, oh, my God.

So don't make fun but I went
to band camp with this guy

and he tried to French me,

but he just kept running
his tongue along my teeth

and it was so gross.

- Oh, my God, ew.

- That's so gross.

- Okay, go, Kira

Erin, truth or dare?

- Um, truth.

- So you're like lesbian, right?

- Oh, I don't know.

- But you like girls, right?

- Yeah, yeah, I guess.

- So on a scale of 1 to 10,
where would you rate me?

- Oh, uh,

like an eight or something.

I don't know.

- Good to know I could get
with the ladies if I wanted.

- Oh, I'd pay to see that.

I dare you kiss Julie.


- Janet, you're
clearly like an 11.

- Jess, chill, it's fine.

Go, Erin.

- She did it on purpose
to pick her girlfriend.

- We all know she's
not gonna choose dare.

- Oh, I got a truth.

What's the nastiest thing you
and Erin have done together?

- Crashed this dumb ass party.

- Oh.

- Yo, Liz is secretly cutthroat.

- Well, you're more
than welcome to leave.

- She's just
kidding, right, Liz?

- Well, you weren't invited.

- I want to spin it.

Truth or dare?

- Dare.

- Finally, dare her
to do the Lola voice.

- No, I've got a good one.

Choose someone in this room
to spend seven minutes with

in the games closet.

- Anyone?


Let's go.

Why did you say
you were invited?

- Oh, um, s- sorry,
it was- it was stupid.

- How do you put up with them?

- What?

- The rating and
the little comments.

- Oh, they're just joking.

- I guess.

- I don't know, what
am I supposed to say?

- I wouldn't say anything.

I'd just give them the look.

- What's the look?

- You try.

- Um, okay.

Oh, my God.

It looks like you're
trying to seduce me.

- What?

No, I'm- I'm literally doing
exactly what you were doing.

- What was that?

- I dunno, the look.

- Keep trying.

- I think I have an idea

of how we can get back
at Chris and Derek.

- So what do you think
they're doing in there?

- Whatever it is,
probably involves tongue.

- Ew, Derek don't be gross.

- Wait, you don't think Lola...

I mean, Sydni's actually
like, you know, gay?

- God, Jess, you can't just
ask if someone is gay.

- Who knew Erin had game?

- Not us.

- Okay, I think I'm ready.

- Oh, okay.

This one is Chris's

and I will leave a
lovely gift for Derek.

- This is so gross.

- Oh, they deserve it.

Trust me.

- Ew, it's so sticky.

- Okay.

- Thank you.
- Here you go.

- Perfect.

- Um, do you know what
this jacket's made of?

- No.

- Well, actually it's made of...

- Erin.

- Guess our time's up.

- Dude, what the hell.

I was just about to ask her.

- I'm sorry, I can't be around
those wonderbreads anymore.

- How could you embarrass me
in front of Sydni like that?

- I'm sorry, they
were being idiots.

- Everyone was just
being like dumb.

I don't know.

You were making fun
of Jessica earlier.

- Yeah, because it's Jessica.

Why are you defending them?

- I'm not, I'm just...

I'm just saying that maybe
you're not always right

or whatever.

- Okay, well, you can stay and
become one of Janet's clones,

but I already texted my
mom and she's on her way.

- Oh, kind of thought we were
on the same page for this one,

but I guess not.

So um,

see you at school.

- Yeah, okay, fine.

See you at school.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

- Sydni, do you wanna do that?

Matching hair, matching nails.

- Everything good?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I'm so glad you could come.

- Remind me how

this has anything to do
with mindfulness minutes.

- Well, we are learning

to refocus our energies
on productive tasks

rather than destructive ones.

- Hey, guys.

Erin, did you do something
new with your hair today?

- Oh, um, I showered
this morning.

- Well, we were just putting
up some posters for the dance.

It's gonna be a lot of fun.

Sydni, I watched "Love
Simon" last night.

It's such a beautiful story.

Anyways, we should probably
do the grade eight hall.

See you guys later.

- The shirts.

Hard pass.

- Yeah, I know, right.

School dances are so dumb.

Like who'd even
want to go to that?

Would be so lame.

Yeah, I dunno.

Maybe as a joke
or- or something.

- I mean, if the music's
good, I might go.

- Yeah, totally.

- Well, gonna go for a walk.

- Be safe.

Make good choices.

- Of course.

- I come in peace.

- So um, you're not still mad?

- Um, well, I kind of failed
as wing woman anyway, so.

- You were- you were
pretty badass though.

- Thanks.

Don't underestimate
the quiet kids, right?

- Yes, yes.

On the- on the outside, we
may seem like total losers,

but on the inside, well,
we're still losers,

but sometimes we
have good comebacks.

- Well, I have something
that might cheer you up.

My parents got me
tickets to Comic-Con

for getting into Riverside.

- Oh, my God, really?

- And they got me two,
in case you wanna go.

- Oh, obviously.

- Okay, good, because I
already have a lot of ideas

for costumes.
- Oh, of course.

- That one's- that one's mine.

Okay, I'm thinking
more feathers.

- I forgot how good
gummy worms are.

So I was working on my comic
again and I have this new scene

where Adelaide comes in

and she's holding this
like glowing rock thing

and is like, "Lunar
Girl, Scarlet Sparrow,

this is a wishing gem."

And then they totally freak out

'cause they thought they
were all destroyed and stuff.

- Is Adelaide secretly evil?

That's so suspicious.
- What, no.

No, no.

I- I think she wants to use
the wishing gem for good,

but like gets carried
away sometimes.

- I'm just saying,

I don't think Scarlet
would be here for it.

- Yeah, I don't know.

I'm still working on it.

I- I can't tell if this
looks stupid or good.

- It looks- it looks good.

- You hesitated.

- It- okay, it l-

- That is so not believable.
- It- it looks good.

- Oh, my God,
you're such a liar.

- It looks good.

It looks better than when
you tried to be Wolverine

with a butterfly mask
and three plastic forks.

- Okay, but when you were R2-D2

you wore a literal trash
can for your costume.

- Okay, and I looked great.

- Yeah, you really did
bring a new meaning

to hot garbage.

- Shut up, shut up.

- So did I miss anything super
exciting at Janet's party?

Are you two like
totally BFFs now?

- Ugh, no.

Yeah, I don't know.

It was fine, but it was
definitely no anti-Janet party.

- Um, well, I'm sorry it
didn't work out with Sydni

but we could always
see what's playing

at the Royal that night.

- Oh, um, no, I'm
still gonna ask her.

I- I just wanna do
something bigger, you know.

Like really impress her.

I was thinking I could maybe

get on the morning

- I don't know if that's
the best thing to-

- Or I could- I could
bribe the band kids

to like, play her favorite song

and then I could do like
a whole dance routine.

That might be cool.

- Yeah.

- What, do you- you don't
think it would work?

- Um, I don't know, maybe
don't do a musical number.

- What kind of flowers
do you think she'd like?

- Um.
- That's cool.

- I don't- I don't know.

I wish my Riverside orientation

was like- like literally
any other weekend.

- Oh, yeah, kind of sucks.

Do you have to go?

- I mean, I wanna see
what it looks like.

- We'll have all of
Sunday to nerd out then.

- Mm-hm.

Wait, um, come here.

- Do I have pizza?
- No, no, no.

Um, I think there's...

On your nose.

I got you.

- Oh, my God.
- Yes.

- Liz.
- What?

I didn't do anything.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hey,

um, are you here for
the Riverside meetup?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Um, Liz Yang?

- Mm-hm.
- Great.

Okay, you can just go
over there and stretch

and we'll be with you in a bit.

- Okay, thank you.
- All right.

- Hi, I'm Rachel.

- Hi, I'm Liz.

- You seem super familiar to me.

- Yeah, I feel like I've
seen you somewhere before.

Were you at OFSAA last year?

- Yeah, yeah, I was.

- Were you the girl who
beat the 1500 record?

- That's me.

- I don't know if I should
hate you or bow down to you.

- Oh, my God.

You know Lunar Girl
and Scarlet Sparrow?

- Yeah.

- They're like my
favorite comic books ever.

- Really?

I've been into them
for like years.

- Really?
- Oh, yes.

- So tell me, what do
you think is happening

with the Shadowman?

- Oh, okay, okay.

Buckle in because I
have several theories.

Number one, he dies.

- But she- she, she can't.

- Yes, she would.

She would totally do that.

She's unpredictable like that.
- That would mess up...

That would mess
up the whole plot.

- No, it wouldn't, it wouldn't.

Okay, hear me out.

The shadow man dies, right.

Lunar Girl revives him.

And then he becomes
a better character

and is more crucial to them.

- Oh, my God.

Where is this bus?

- Ugh, yeah.

I hate this route.

Same one I'll have to
take to Riverside too.

- Oh, right.

- Did I tell you about the
matching sweaters we got?

- Yeah, you sent me a picture.

- Oh, okay.

Yeah, everyone was so much
nicer than I thought they'd be.

- That's- that's good.

- Okay.

Uh, the coaches
are super cool too.

We went to one of their houses
after for- for a barbecue.

- Mm.

- Oh, there was this
girl named Rachel.

You'd absolutely love her.

She's a super big fan of Lunar
Girl and Scarlet Sparrow.

- Oh.

- Yeah, she's great.

I think we're doing
the 4 by 10 together.

I'm not sure though.

There's also this
really big pool.

It's like olympic sized

and the bathrooms
actually smell good.

Like they're not the
ones like at school.

They smell like-

- Well, well, well my
two meanest customers.

- We're your only friends.

- Headed to Comic-Con?

- Mm-hm.
- Duh.

Why aren't you going nerd?

- I was there yesterday,

but I have this little thing
called rent I have to pay, so.

- Oh, ouch.

- Sucks.

Do you have to the
new Lumber Jeans?

- I do.

It's not on the shelves yet,

so I'll go get it for you.

But meanwhile, you
should read this.

- If this is another flyer
for your very lame band

we are not interested.

- Just read it,
you little gremlin.

I'll be right back.

- Are you seeing this?

- Oh, my God.

Is this real?

- Crystal Green is coming here.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Let me see, let me
see, let me see.

- We're gonna meet
Crystal Green.

Do you think she'll
sign my goggles?

We should get some
books for her to sign.

Crystal Green.

Wait, where are you...

Are you...

What's wrong?

Why aren't you excited?

- It's the same
day as the dance.

- So who cares?

- Well, I'm asking
Sydni, remember.

- Erin, this is Crystal Green.

Is there really any competition?

- This dance is
important to me too.

- You haven't even
asked her yet.

- I'm going to.

- You don't even
know if she's gay.

- You don't get it.

- What don't I get?

That you've been
acting completely fake

since you started
hanging out with Sydni?

- No, I haven't.

- Yes, you have.

You're acting like
a Janet wannabe.

- No, I'm not,

I- I'm just trying not to
be a total loser next year.

That's all.

- Look at what you're wearing.

You're just scared
that if Sydni found out

that you're a nerd, she
wouldn't want to kiss you.

- Sydni doesn't care
about that stuff

and at least she has a backbone.

- What does that mean?

- You can't even
stand up to your mom.

Do you even wanna go to that
douchey sports school anyway?

- Yeah, I do.

I've been excited for weeks

and you haven't even
asked me about it.

Do you even know how
competitive that school is?

- Oh, my God, we get it.

You're better than
everyone else.

Congrats, Liz.

- At least I don't
have to be fake

to suck up to some
basic Barbies.

- This is why
everyone hates you.

You act like you're so
superior all the time.

When really you're not.

- Wow, great, you'll- you'll
fit right in with Janet

and Derek and Chris next year.

- Why do you even care?

It's not like we're
gonna be friends anyway.

- You can go to
Comic-Con on your own.

- Of course I can, asshole.

- You're lame.

- So,

what do you say?

- Sure, why not?

- For you.

- It's gonna be so much fun.

- Yeah, I'm so excited.

♪ White shoes or
the picket fence ♪

♪ Then you see it and you ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Your bike was fine till
the Benz rolled past ♪

♪ Then you see it and you ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want it, want it ♪

♪ Want I, want it ♪

- Okay,
let's pack it up.

I would like to
get home to my cats

or they're going to maul me.

Michael, don't pick your nose.

No one's gonna be friends
with you in high school.

- Jess, Jules, and I were
thinking of heading to the mall

to look at dresses.

You should join.

- Uh, I can't.

Um, I told Erin that we
could hang out after school.

- What?

Oh, oh, right, yeah.

- Have fun though.

- Your room is so cool.

- Yeah, thanks.

It's coming along.

- You're so cute.

In the photo.

Can I tell you a secret?

- Um, sure.

- I've never actually
seen "Good Morning, Lola".

- Really?

- Yeah, Um, I don't know.

I just like never
got into it as a kid

and kind of found it annoying.

Not that like, I find of
you annoying or found-

- No, yeah.

The songs were just
like really something.

- Yeah, I think I've
only seen one episode.

- Which one?

- Oh, uh, something about
a cat going missing.

- No, "Mittens is Missing".

That's like the worst one.

No wonder you stopped watching.

- I found out on that set

that I was like severely
allergic to cats.

Yeah, I was so out
of it on allergy meds

I don't even know why it aired.

- Wow, kind of feel like
I have to re-watch it now.

- Well, don't make
me regret this,

but I do have a bunch of the
episodes saved on my laptop.

But if you tell anybody, I
will never speak to you again.

- Okay.

♪ Good morning Lola ♪

♪ Good morning world ♪

♪ Play my viola ♪

♪ With my hair all curled ♪

- Welcome to my garden.

- I mean the intro's
kind of catchy.

- Don't, don't go there.

- Do you see Mittens anywhere?

- Man I'm terrified the cat
is still like, you know,

thriving today.

- Yeah, he's like totally
living off his royalties


- I know.

Maybe if I sing a song Mittens
will hear it and she'll come.

- Oh, God, this is actually
a lot worse than I remember.

♪ Listen to my song. ♪

♪ I have written my
dear little Mittens ♪

- Is that "Good Morning, Lola?"

- No.

- You must be special

if Sydni is showing you
that of her own free will.

- Hello?

- Hey, hun.

Hi, you must be Erin.

- Oh, yeah, that- that's me.

- It's nice to see
Sydni making friends.

- Mom.

- What?

What did I say?

- Okay, we'll get
out of your hair.

Let us know if you
need anything at all.

- Okay, okay, okay,
goodbye, bye bye.

They're so annoying.

- What are you talking about?

They're- they're so awesome
and- and nice and cool.

They're just cool.

Okay, I need to see more.

Like it literally looks
like someone punched you

in the nose.

How did they let
you act like this?

- Yeah, the producer was a dick.

He'd like, shame me if
I ate too many cookies

'cause he didn't want
me to gain any weight.

- Oh, um, oh my God.

That's- that's so messed up.

- Yeah, but once
my mom's found out,

they pulled me from the show so.

- That's really shitty.

- Thanks, you're
like the only person

I've ever told about this.

- Oh.

- Um, but anyways
you get the gist.

Um, I'm sorry.

- Oh, sorry.

I- I just thought, um...

that, um...

I'm gonna get going.

Sorry, it's getting late.

- Erin.
- Oh, no, it's okay.

I'll see you at school.

♪ I can't seem to
close my eyelids ♪

♪ Can I take back all
the things that I said ♪

♪ Last night lying
on the carpet ♪

♪ I'm a shit show, but
I'm still your favorite ♪

♪ You watch me step on every
crack along the pavement ♪

♪ But I guess I just felt
like I needed saving ♪

♪ So I let you ♪

♪ All my life ♪

♪ It's been a black boots
and leather rebellion ♪

- You
call has been forwarded

to an automated
voice message system.


♪ And now you want
to settle down ♪

♪ Can you settle down ♪

♪ Now you want to settle down ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Settle down ♪

♪ Settle down ♪

♪ Screw this jar tighter
than you need to ♪

♪ So I need you ♪

♪ And know I need you ♪

♪ And know I need you ♪

♪ Take my clothes, dip
them in wet cement ♪

♪ And I let you take my coat
and make me feel delicate ♪

♪ And I let you screw this
jar tighter than you need to ♪

♪ So I need you ♪

♪ And now I need you ♪

♪ And now I need you ♪

- Hey, um, you left
this at my place.

- Oh, um, thanks


I'm really sorry
I made things weird.

- You didn't.

I mean a little, but
it's my fault too.

I'm just not really
sure about anything.

- But you said yes to the dance.

- Well yeah, you asked
me in front of everybody.

- Oh.

I just thought
like, with the party

and then the games
closet and everything.

- Who else was I
supposed to pick?

Plus like, nobody was
calling me Lola after that.

- Yeah, but they
thought you were gay.

- I guess that was
kind of gross of me.

I'm sorry.

- I mean, to be fair, you got
Janet Wexler to wear rainbows.

Maybe she'll even
start at GSA next year.

- Why do we care so much

about what these
idiots think of us?

- I'm gonna be stuck with
them for four years so.

- Dude, do you know
anything about high school?

There's gonna be like,
so many new people there.

- Yeah, but they won't be Liz.

- You know, you can have
more than one friend, right?

- I'd still like to be
your friend if that's okay.

- Do you still
wanna go this dance?

- No way.

- Listen, I'm saying

just like people who
are that homophobic

they are definitely
still in the closet.

- Okay, but- but Janet?

- Oh, hell yeah.

Just give her another
four to five years.

- But she's like if- if
compulsive heterosexuality

was like, a person.

- No trust, trust.

- Do you have a lip gloss?

- Oh, um, yeah.

There's some in like the top
drawer of my desk, I think.

- Cool.

- Hey, are you
getting rid of these?

- Oh, um, yeah.

- How come?

I thought this was
like your whole deal.

- Um, it was, but I don't know.

I'm- I'm like getting older.

Kind of outgrowing them.

- Dude, my moms are like 45 and
they still read comic books.

- I don't know.

It's really complicated.

- I don't know,
but if it were me,

I wouldn't throw them out.

- Uh, Sydni.

- Mm-hm.

- Um, on a scale of 1 to 10

how mad would you be
if we missed the dance?

- Uh, a two.

- Okay, um,

we have to go.

- Huh?

- I'll explain on the
way there. Come on.

- Okay, all right.

- Liz.

- Erin.
- Hey, no cuts.

- Erin, what are you doing here?

Don't you have a dance
to go to or something?

- That's not
important right now.

- Listen, I said no cuts.

- Dude, give
them a minute.

- Why are you here?

- Okay, so I was going
through my comic, right.

And I was trying to
figure out how to end it.

But everything fell sort of off.

Like would Lunar
use the last wish

to make sure Adelaide
becomes the moon princess?

- Erin.

- Because Adelaide is the
rightful heir and all that,

but then Lunar would
have to stay on the moon

to support her.

- What issue is this?

- And I was thinking would
Lunar even wanna stay

on the moon especially
without Sparrow?


- What are you
even talking about?

- Here, let me just-
let me just show you.

I'm really not
explaining this right.

Um, it's kind of messy.

I had to do it on the
car right over and-

- Erin, I don't care about
Lunar Girl or Adelaide

or your stupid wishing gem.

It's clear you only care
about getting a girlfriend

and now that you have one

you obviously don't
need me anymore, right?

- She's- she's not-


- I'm not just your
sidekick, okay?

I have a lot going on too,
in case you haven't noticed.

- Who's next?


- Sorry.

I mean, there's 45 minutes
left at the dance.

- Yeah, um, I'm not sure I
really want to go anymore.

- Come on, I mean,
we're already dressed.

Besides, you need a distraction.

- So what's your name?

- Uh, Liz.

- Nice to meet you, Liz.

Ah, an oldie, but a goody.

This set of issues

were actually some of the
hardest for me to write.

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

When they had both got
off on their own quest

and grew so much on their own

I didn't know how to
bring them back together

or if I even should.

- Wait, like have their
own spinoff series?

- I don't know, maybe.

I was really considering it.

- 'Cause that would've
been terrible, geez.

No offense, I mean you probably
could have figured it out.

Thank you, Crystal Green.

- Crystal's fine.

- Oh, okay.

I can die happy now.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

- So this is a
middle school dance.

I guess this is what I expected.

Hey, um, sorry things
didn't go as planned.

But hey, let's still
try to have fun.

- Sydni.

You made it.

I didn't think you
were gonna come.

I'm totally gonna vote for
you two as cutest couple.

- Oh, we're not a couple.

- Yeah, we're just friends.

- Wait what?

- Yeah, but way to challenge
gender norms though.

Love it.


Come on, let's go dance.

- Uh, you go without me.

I'll join in a bit.

- Okay.

♪ When I come to you nah nah ♪

♪ I'm giving all of me ♪

♪ When I come to you nah nah ♪

♪ I'm giving all of me ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Wish I could give
you more than you see ♪

♪ But when I come
to you nah nah ♪

♪ I'm giving all of me ♪

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Uh, so I read your ending.

- Oh, uh, did you like it?

- Yeah, thought it was perfect.

- I'm sorry I made you
feel like a sidekick.

You've always been
my partner in crime.

- Kiss, kiss, kiss.

- Virgin Girl and Scarlet
tampon for cutest couple.

- Oh, my God.

Chris, It's not 2007, okay.

Stop acting like being gay is
an insult because it's not.

- Geez, chill Virgin Girl.

Whatever, I don't even-

- Bye.

- What was that?

- Sydni gave me some pointers.

I wasn't replacing
you, you know.

- I know, but it really
felt like you were.

- But you're the one leaving me.

- What do you mean?

- Next year when you're off
at your fancy private school

with all your super
cool running friends.

It's not like you're gonna
have any time for me.

- Are you kidding me?

Just because we're
at different schools

doesn't mean were
not still gonna do

our scary movie marathons

or read Lunar Girl
and Scarlet Sparrow.

- Come on.

- What are you doing?

- Give me your hand.
- No, no.


- What, did you think we
were gonna come to a dance

and not dance?

- Yes.

Yes, I did.

- What?

Not how it works.
- No, no, no, no, no.

- You don't like my sweet moves?

- No, I don't.

- Let's party, Liz, come on.

- Okay, stop.

Stop doing whatever this
is and I'll dance with you.

- Deal.

♪ Wish I could give
you more than you see ♪

♪ When I come to you nah nah ♪

♪ I'm giving all of me ♪

- I, uh, I really
like this song.

♪ If I could give a 100%
of my heart to you ♪

♪ I would ♪

♪ If I could trade all
that I had for your love ♪

♪ You know I would ♪

- Um,

do you think

Lunar Girl and Scarlet Sparrow
would ever get together?

♪ If could give a 100%
of my heart to you ♪

♪ I would ♪

- Maybe not right away.

♪ If I could trade all
that I had for your love ♪

But that is sort of
how I always pictured it.

♪ If the sun never came
and all we'd see was rain ♪

♪ We'd stay in
bed just us two. ♪

♪ But here I found myself
sitting in vain for your love ♪

♪ I wait, it's true ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ For your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ For your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ If I could learn
voodoo to catch you ♪

♪ I'd make you my boo ♪

♪ If you cried out baby
I'm yours, I'd fall down ♪

♪ You know, oh life's good ♪

♪ If the sun never came
and all we'd see was rain ♪

♪ We'd stay in bed just us two ♪

♪ But here I found myself
sitting in vain for your love ♪

♪ I wait, it's true ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ Sittin tight ♪

♪ For your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪