Episode #1.3 (2000) - full transcript

(magical romantic music)

♪ I'm wishing on a star

♪ To follow where you are

♪ I'm wishing on a dream

♪ To follow what it means

♪ And I wish on all the rainbows

♪ That I've seen

♪ I wish on all the
people who really dream

♪ I'm wishing on a star

♪ To follow where you are

- [Voiceover] I am dead
but my work is unfinished.



The house of Snow
White survives.

You must complete that work.

In the ruin of my castle,
you will find the source

of my power.

(dramatic music)

These are my gifts.

They give you my power.

Mirrors to travel.

Mirrors to spy.

Mirrors to remember.

Mirrors to forget.

Mirrors to rule the world!

(majestic music)

- So good to have
the power back.



(fire crackling)

- Frying tonight,
frying tonight!

- Keep away from me!

- Frying tonight!

- I mean it!

- Listen to this, a present for

the strongest, bravest troll.

(laughing)

Oh, you know what
it smells like?

(inhaling)

- (together) Leather!

(laughing)

- Shoes!

- Well it could be books.

- And my size by
the look of things.

(fighting)

- They're mine, it's a present
for me and you know it,

- No they're mine!

- Mine!

- Let's spin a coin to
decide who gets them.

(Punch)

- Well, hello!

Rescue is at hand!

- Don't come any nearer!

- Don't worry, I'm
not who I used to be.

I've had extensive therapy.

I realized I have been using
food as a substitute for love

and I have the
books to prove it.

Breaking the Cycle.

Heal Yourself in Seven Days.

Stop Blaming Yourself, Please.

And Help for the
Bedwetting Child,

which I picked up by mistake

but I've got them all!

- You come an inch closer and

I swear I'll shout my head off.

- Ooo, that is what's
known as an empty threat.

(inhaling)

(howling)

I hope you don't
mind me saying this,

but I get the feeling you still
don't completely trust me.

- I don't trust you at all!

You tried to eat my grandmother!

- Oh, no!

I was just being playful.

See wolfies just pretend
to do naughty things.

I would have never
really eaten her,

she was tough old bird.

I wouldn't hurt a sausage.

Butter would not
melt in my mouth.

Well, it would melt, of
course it would melt,

but very slowly.

Argh! Puff!

I give you my solemn wolf word,

you are safe with me.

You are as safe as a,

brick-built pig house!

Now, wait here a moment
while I plan our escape

we are in romantically,
reckless danger.

How are you at climbing?

I nearly fell off
three times coming up.

- Those incredible shoes.

They made them invisible.

- Yeah, I know.

- Yeah, but they
made them invisible.

(magical music)

- Well don't touch
them, they'll make you

want to wear them all the time.

Balcony, or corridor?

That is the question.

- I'm not going to touch them,

I just want to
see how they work.

- They're working
on you even now.

Just leave them well alone.

(magical music)

Corridor I think.

No!

Balcony, quick,
there's someone coming!

(dramatic music)

Excuse me, excuse me,

where do you think
you're going exactly?

- Back to prison.

- Back to prison?

See that wouldn't
be my first choice.

- No, I'm going to
find my father and then

I'm going to go right back home.

- Alright, alright, alright!

But not this way.

Virginia, please listen.

You won't survive five minutes

unless you follow me.

Now we must avoid this road.

Go this way.

(thunder claps)

(dramatic music)

- No way am I going in there.

(thunder claps)

(maniacal laughter)

(thunder claps)

Brave Jack.

Jack?

- Jack and the beanstalk,
the first mayor of Beantown.

You know this, this used to
be a very prosperous area

before all the beanstalks
sprouted everywhere

and polluted the land.

The trolls were given
it as their kingdom,

that's why they hate
Prince Wendell so much

because he has a
juicy, fertile kingdom

and they have a polluted
disgusting kingdom.

(suspenseful music)

Virginia?

(thunder claps)

Virginia?

Virginia?

Virginia, Virginia,
Virginia, please tell me

you didn't take the
troll king's magic shoes.

Virginia?

Virginia?

Virginia?

- Idiots!

Fools!

I can't leave you
alone for a minute.

Your mothers would
be ashamed of you.

- No, no no, dad it
wasn't our fault.

The witch, she tricked us
with this magic shoebox.

- Best wishes from wolf.

- Virginia?

I know you think you're
safe in those shoes,

but nothing could be
further from the truth.

Anything a troll has is bound
to be bad and dangerous.

Virginia.

Where are you?

(growling)

(sparks)

- Oh no.

- Hello again!

They're not fully
recharged, you see?

They don't stay
invisible very long

without a proper break

it's a design
fault in the shoes,

one of many in fact (laughing).

(punch)

(moaning)

- You're not having them!

- Having what?

- The shoes.

They're mine.

- Oh,

(struggle)

If you don't get rid of them now

you won't be able to later.

- Ah, you're right,
oh you're right.

Oh I don't want them, they
made me feel so strange.

God, it felt so
powerful, you know,

being invisible.

Just amazing!

Fantastic!

How did you know where I was?

- I could smell you.

Follow me!

(growling)

There's about 70 beanstalks left

but not many are
occupied these days.

Giants drink so much
they rarely have time

to reproduce.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah, of course.

- Do you think I'm sexy?

You're the kind of man I suppose

I should be scared of.

- Oh Virginia.

As much as I would
love to believe what

you're saying to me right now,

I'm afraid it's the
shoes that are talking.

You'd say anything
to put them on again.

- Give them back.

Come on, give em back.

Oh, oh, I'm really sorry.

That was weird, I don't
know what came over me.

- Oh, they bring out very
strange things, these shoes.

- Yeah

- Whatever you're suppressing.

- I'm not suppressing anything.

(thunder claps)

What?

- Trolls.

They found us.

Oh, cripes, we're in
big big trouble now.

They have dogs, they're
going to sniff us out.

Run, run!

(dogs barking)

(trolls yelling)

(thunder claps)

- This way!

The dogs are on the scent.

They're very close now.

They can smell 'em!

Don't let them escape again!

- Blue Bell, come here.

Flatfoot, got any
magic mushrooms?

- No, but I've got
some dwarf moss

and it'll really blow
your head off though.

Look at this, the
last time I took it

I saw fairies for three days.

(laughing)

- Nicey nice!

Roll us a giant.

- You got it.

- This may be a long night.

(growling)

- Blue Bell, Burly, Blaberwort?

Where are you?

- Coming, Dad.

(thunder claps)

- The beanstalk
has a potent smell,

it puts off the dogs.

- You don't have to tell me.

- We'll stay up here for a
little while till it's safe.

- So how did you get
involved in all this anyway?

- Ah, I found myself
at a loose end,

and you know..

- You were in that
prison weren't you?

What were you in for?

- Well nothing much,
just a little bit

of sheep worrying that's all.

Putting a wolf into a prison
cell with nowhere to bound

only able to stare at
the sky through bars,

now that's inhuman.

- Do you think maybe
I should, you know

put them on again?

- What?

- No, I mean, the
shoes are probably

fully recharged and. I can...
- No!

- No!

- What is that?

- It's just my tail.

- Your tail?

What?

- Well it's not very big
at this time of month.

It's just a little brush.

- You've got a tail?

- Yeah, so?

You have succulent breasts,

I don't go on about
them all the time, do I?

Why don't you touch it?

It's perfectly normal.

- If it's normal how come you
keep it hidden all the time?

- Because if you
haven't noticed,

people don't like wolfs.

Come on, give it a stroke.

It won't bite.

- (gasp)

- What? What?

- With the fur, not against it!

(laughing)

- I've got keys going missing.

I've got trolls and
wolves and queens missing.

What in the fairy-ing
forest has happened

to basic security
in this prison?

- Sir?

While we were searching
the prison we found

that the door to the
cellars was unlocked at

the time of the
queen's break-out.

- [Prince] Cellar? Did
he just say cellar?

- It is possible she
escaped that way.

- What's down there?

You.

- It's just some old junk, sir.

It's been there for
hundreds of years,

before this place was a prison.

- [Prince] The mirror!

- Take the work detail
off the laundry room,

have them clear out the
whole place, top to bottom.

Now, get out.

(dramatic music)

- [Prince] Oh no, that's the
mirror to the other world.

I'd better put Anthony's
name on the work detail.

To-ny

Lew-is.

- Alright now, pay attention.

Everything here has
to be cleared out.

So form a human chain,
and chuck everything into

that boat moored there.

- Ah, excuse me?

- What?

- Well, we're kind of
far away from the boat,

aren't we in danger
of some of the more

delicate objects being broken?

- What do you think
this is Lewis?

An elves underwear party?

Look, this is scrap,
now do as you're told!

- I'm...

- And shut it!

(shattering)

- Huffety puffety, there it is!

- Oh God, I hope
he's okay in there.

He can take care
of himself, right?

I mean he can stay out of
trouble for one day at least.

Can't he?

- Well, from what I
know about your father,

I very much doubt it.

(shattering)

- (whispering) Mirror, on.

Mirror, on on, mirror, mirror.

- Lewis?

What in the fairy-ing forest
do you think you're doing?

- It's not working.

- Listen Lewis, you
little prison princess.

Throw that mirror
on that boat, now!

- Uh,

no I can't, I'm
afraid it'll break.

- As you've refused to
obey my instructions,

I am going to push
you into the river.

And as you are
connected by leg irons

to each of your comrades,
they will also, sadly, drown.

- Alright, alright, alright.

(smashing)

- OK, you wait here.

I'll put the magic
shoes on and I'll

go back inside the prison.

- No way, you'll
never come back,

you just want them for yourself!

- No, no I don't.

- You do!

- Yes, I do, but,
oh, I'm fighting it!

Unlike you!

(growling)

I have an idea.

- What?

- I'll wear them,
you hold onto me,

because if you're touching me,

we'll both be invisible.

- No!

I will wear them.

And you can hold onto me.

- You are hopelessly
addicted to those shoes.

And I'm not too far behind.

(magical music)

(door squeaking)

- Curses!

- Now we'll have to kill him.

- A tunnel!

- Shh!

- We've been digging
for 31 years.

- Oh, but please take
me with you, please?

Listen I swear,
you can trust me.

You know what, at home,

I've got Escape from
Alcatraz on video.

I know how to do this!

- Best we suffocate him I think.

- No.

I trust him.

- Uh, thanks.

I would give you my watch,
but it already went somewhere.

- [Virginia] Ten months,
just for being cheeky,

what are they going
to do with dad?

- [Wolf] They've probably
put your father in E block,

that's where new
prisoners usually go,

let's go there.

- [Virginia] Puppy slaying?

What about Prince?

(dog barking)

Listen? Listen that must
be him, that's Prince.

(dog barking)

- [Wolf] No, Virginia,
what are you doing?

No, we can't take him with us.

He'll drain all the
power in the shoes

and we'll become visible.

Virginia!

Oh, I hate dogs.

- Hey, hey hey
guys, wait up, huh?

- Sorry, Tony. It's
every man for himself.

- Oh never mind, just
go right ahead, go, go.

- [Virginia] I think he's
leading us to dad's cell.

- [Wolf] This is it!

- [Virginia] Dad,
Dad are you in here?

(magical sparks)

- No!

Oh, they're exhausted.

I told you this was
going to happen.

(dog barking)

- Look!

- Boy, your father sure
works fast, I give him that.

(suspenseful music)

- Yes!

Sure you don't want
to come with me?

- A goblin travels
fastest alone.

(dramatic music)

(splash)

- Yes! Haha.

- There's something
blocking the tunnel.

Tony is that you?

- Who's that?

It's me, Wolf, I gave you
the magic dragon dung beetle,

remember me?

- You know what, just
stay away from me?

- We're in a tunnel
together, how can I do that?

- I'm almost out
too, but I'm stuck.

Look, just give me a push!

- OK,

(grunting)

- Oh Dad.

- Are you alright?

- Yeah, ow.

We have to find a way to get
back in and get the mirror.

- What? No, no we don't.

I threw it on a trash barge,

I think on this
river right here.

- Come on,

Which one? Which one?

- No, it was right there.

- Where?

- They moved it, I bet
you it's over here.

- Where?

- It was right here
- Where?

- Oh, look they took it.

Acorn's stolen it.

- Oh no, he's got our mirror!

- Mirror, wake from your sleep.

(glass breaking)

(dramatic music)

Summon Relish, the Troll King.

- Tony, get this thing moving.

- I'm trying, I'm trying.

- Look, there they are.

Don't let them get away!

- Oh, cripes!

(yelling)

- Oh! Dad!

- Oh my, get down, look out!

(yelling)

(splashing)

- Get 'em, get 'em, hit 'em!

Hit them with something!

(yelling)

- Argh, you're done!

- In your dream troll boy!

(beating)

(yelling)

- What a pathetic display.

How dare you call
yourselves my children.

You are the most...

(growling)

(yelling)

- Are you alright, Dad?

(moaning)

- What's wrong?

- Mirror. Find me a mirror.

- Out! Get out!

(glass breaking)

- So good of you to join me.

- You do that again to
me and I'll kill ya!

- Well?

- Well what?

- Have your children
caught the dog for me?

- Not exactly.

- You do surprise
me, your majesty.

How could he possibly escape
your tiny little grasp?

- Don't you talk to me that way!

- He must be caught.

Send your children after him.

And what are you still
doing in Wendell's kingdom?

Return to your
palace immediately.

Await my further orders.

- I don't take orders from you!

(flute music)

(hawk calling)

(suspenseful music)

- Virginia?

Would you say that
you were hungry

for love and approval but,
destined for rejection?

- I'm quite happy
as I am thank you.

- Really?

- What no, no, no!

What did you do that for?!

- I had to for your own good.

- You threw away my shoes!

- You were already
dreaming of wearing them

tonight, weren't you?

- Yes! I...

How did you know that?

- Magic is very nice,

but it's very easy
to get addicted.

- But why didn't you want them?

How come you were able to
resist the shoes and I wasn't?

- Because you have such a
strong desire to be invisible.

(sad music)

- [Prince] Anthony, I know
that as my new manservant

you will never let me down,

and will willingly give
your life to save mine,

but I wonder if you'd
like to swear a formal

oath of allegiance.

Destiny has brought us
together, that much is clear.

My destiny is to rule the
Fourth Kingdom, of course,

but what is yours?

Someone as lowly as
inconsequential as yourself,

may yet have an
important part to pay,

even if it is catering
to my every whim whilst

I'm trapped in
the body of a dog.

What was that?

- Nothing.

Fish, I don't know.

(crowd jeering)

- I insist you leave.

Trolls are not allowed
in the Fourth Kingdom

without proper permits.

This is a gross violation
of the Nine Kingdoms treaty.

- Shut your mouth.

- Unless you leave this
instant, I shall notify

Prince Wendell, and
soldiers will be sent.

(crowd yelling)

- I am declaring war
on the Fourth Kingdom,

and I challenge Price
Wendell to come and

face me within seven days.

Or I will claim his
kingdom as my own.

(crowd yelling)

- [Wolf] Rise and shine!

Wakey Wakey (howling)

it's another beautiful
day in the Fourth Kingdom.

Sleep well, Virginia?

- Actually, no, I just
got to sleep an hour ago.

- Oh, you should have
joined me on deck,

sleeping under the stars,
it was quite magnificent.

You look outstandingly
gorgeous in the morning,

pert from the front,

and a vision from behind!

- Hey, hey, hey!

- What?

- Just don't look at
my daughter like that.

- Is it this look, Tony?

(panting)

Ooo, I can't help it.

It's animal passion.

- Oh, just,

look, just stay away
from her, alright,

you've got a criminal record.

- Well how can I
stay away from her?

We're on a very small boat.

I may bump into her accidentally
at any given moment.

- Hey!

Will you stop talking about
me as if I'm not here?

- [Prince] Manservant?

I need to go up on deck.

Bring a bucket, and a shovel.

- First of all I'm
not your manservant.

And if you think I'm going to...

(bumps head)

Ow, what the?

- Cripes!

- What is that?

Whoa!

- Huffety puffety.

- That's one hell of a fish.

Golden River gold fish.

You think it's magic?

- Oh, goodness gracious, yes.

This is the famous,
anything you touch

will turn to gold fish.

- What's this,

warning, do not break
glass except in case

of financial emergency.

- Uh, look at that
sign, look at that.

Stick a finger in my mouth

turn around till you face south

touch a thing that
you would prize

and you will not
believe your eyes.

Here is magic to behold

all that glitters can be gold.

Do you really think
it turns whatever

you touch into gold?

- Well, I'm sure it does, but,

we don't need to turn
anything to gold, do we?

- Well, no, I mean, no,

but gold is gold, right?

I mean think of the guy
who owned this boat,

he was no fool, he's
probably now living in the

lap of luxury in some
Nine Kingdoms condominium

with a mountain of
gold in his back yard

and everything
his heart desires.

- Best leave it alone, Tony.

Best leave it alone.

- Yeah, well, oh,
yeah yeah yeah,

best leave it alone, Tony.

(fighting and yelling)

- Exactly what do you
think you're playing at?

We had a bargain.

I would give you half
of Wendell's kingdom,

in return for your cooperation.

- You've gone (inaudible) since
I broke you out of prison.

- It is essential that
the coronation proceed

according to my plan.

If you remain in
Wendell's kingdom

then you'll ruin everything.

A crisis will inevitably ensue.

- What's ensue mean?

- It means, leave Beantown,
return to your kingdom,

or you'll ruin everything!

- I might and I might not.

By the way, how are
my children doing?

- Their intellect and bravery
quite take my breath away.

- Yeah.

Well look after them, I
want them back in one piece.

- If you'll only be
patient, your majesty.

I will give you Wendell's
kingdom on a plate.

- But I'm hungry now.

- Moron!

(glass breaking)

Mirror talk to me!

Why haven't you
found Wendell yet?

- He is with others.

But I cannot see them.

- Who?

- Three travel with Wendell,

one who can talk with him,

and one who can hurt you.

They are traveling down
the river towards us

unknowingly.

- Show me, show me.

- I can not.

- Wolf is with them.

Work on him.

Make him talk to me.

("Night Fever" by the Bee Gees)

- (singing together) I get
the night fever, night fever

We know how to do it

(singing)

I get the night
fever, night fever

We know how to show it

(singing)

Here I am,

waiting for this moment to last

Livin' on the music so fine

(music slowing down)

(yelling)

- Their magic is useless
to brothers Gibb, ha!

- Row faster!

- Shut up, Blue Bell,
I've rowed all night!

- You shut up, Burly.

- Ugh, Blue Bell, stop
eating your head lice.

- I wasn't chewing I was just
keeping it under my tongue.

- Stop talking, and row
faster, Blabberwort, faster!

- Oh, looky look, look there.

A book!

Women who love men,

- Who hate women.

Ha! Nicey nice.

- [Tony] Wolf? You doing
something about dinner or not?

- Ugh, yeah, uh-huh.

I'm making myself beautiful
for Virginia (laughing)

- Hello, Wolf.

- Ah!

Oh, oh, go away, leave me alone!

- You agreed to obey me.

- No!

- Yes.

I control you.

- No!

- Why can't I see
your companions?

What magic is going on?

- Magic? Well, I...

- ls there food or
isn't there food?

- No, I wasn't
talking to anybody.

I was making dinner.

- Where is it?

Well, you know what I found...

(magical music)

Wha?

(tapping)

Hey, fishy fishy fishy?

(tapping)

(glass breaking)

Here is magic to behold

All that glitters can be gold.

Hello?

(suspenseful music)

(crunching)

- Ow, oh the finger of fortune.

- [Virginia] Dad? You alright,
I thought I heard a crash?

- Just cleaning up
a little of this

accidental glass breakage.

- Did you put your
finger in that fish?

- No, well technically, yes.

(yelling)

Don't worry about
it, we're rich now,

we're rich, we're our own bank.

I could, you know what,

I could turn this
entire boat into gold.

- Yes and then it would
sink and we would all drown.

- Good point.

OK, I'll wait, I'll wait
until I find the right thing.

And then when I have
this huge lump of gold,

you'll be thanking me.

You will be thanking me!

Oh yes!

- (sniffing) Get some bones.

Jaw bones, gnaw bones.

Must find some bones.

(sniffing)

Mistress won't
give me any bones.

Steal some bones.

Bury them under the sheets.

And chew them when
she's gone to bed.

(sniffing)

(dripping)

(sniffing)

Must. Find. Bones.

- Stand up.

Stand up properly.

- I'm scared.

- Of what?

- I'll fall over.

It's so high up here.

Can't I fall on floors?

- Do you know who you are?

- Can I have a biscuit?

- You are not a dog.

You are Prince Wendell, you are
ruler of the Fourth Kingdom.

- Prince Wendell loves
biscuits (panting).

- Get dressed.

You have a whole life to learn.

Before you can be crowned king,

you must be seen to
demonstrate bravery,

loyalty and intelligence.

(panting and barking)

What a challenge.

(hawks calling)

- Oh no.

- What's wrong?

- Uh, nothing, just a feeling.

- Hey, hey, hey,
it's Acorn's boat!

It's moored right there, look.

Watch the finger!

Right there, right there.

- [Prince] Anthony, something
really strange is happening.

I feel, I feel, like I'm
two people at the same time.

- What?

- I have to go back
to that castle.

- What, what castle?

It's an old ruin that
castle, why go there?

Let's go on to Acorn's boat.

- No! I'm sure my
human body is there.

(Splash)

- Wait!

- Oh my god!

- Prince come back!

Come back!

- [Virginia] What
is wrong with him?

- [Tony] Prince!

- Well, we can't go after him.

- But...

- Let's just go find Acorn
and get the mirror back, okay?

- Good idea, just let
him go, let him go.

- Alright, alright.

- Faster! Row faster!

- I can't row any faster,
my hands are bleeding.

- My hands are bleeding!

- Oh suck an elf, Blue Bell!

- Both of you just shut up!

- Shut up, look, there's
the ruined castle.

We should report to the queen.

- Excellent idea, steer
us over to the shore.

- Acorn's been here all morning.

He left less than half hour ago.

- With the rest of the
stuff that was on the boat?

- Yep.

- When's he coming back?

- He's not.

He swapped this lovely boat
for my horse and carriage,

I reckon I got a great deal.

- Well which way did he go?

- He said he'd use the
road through the forest.

If you hurry you
could catch him.

- Good idea, good idea,
let's go, let's go!

- No, but hold on a second.

What about Prince?

- He's off, he wants
to be on his own.

See my heart is breaking,
but let's follow the mirror.

Ton, you said so yourself, he's
been nothing but a nuisance.

- Yeah, I know, but I

- Look...

- it feels a little
weird leaving him here,

I mean he must have
run off for a reason.

- You're going to
lose that mirror.

- Dad

- OK, wait wait, fifteen minutes
alright, fifteen minutes.

- While we're waiting to eat,

try to keep your tongue
inside your mouth,

it's somewhat vulgar to have it

hanging out all the time.

- I'm starving.

Where's my bowl?

- You're going to
have a lovely meal.

- Ooo!

- Just as soon as
you've learned to use

a fork

and a knife.

Until then you will starve.

Would you like something
to drink your majesty?

- Bowl of water.

- No, a glass of water.

A prince never
drinks from a bowl.

- Glass of water, please.

- Is there anything
else you require?

- Uh, my wooly ball.

- No, we don't play
ball at the table.

- Your majesty, the three
trolls have returned.

- You practice using
your fork and knife

and I will return to
test you in ten minutes.

- Fork.

Knife.

- [Prince] I'm sure I'm here.

It must be me.

I can smell me.

(dog barking)

(barking)

(dog barking)

- You

- [Prince] It's me!

- You.

- [Prince] It's me, I'm you!

- It's you.

It's me.

- [Prince] Yes, yes, good doggy.

Good doggy.

- Four legs, please?

- [Prince] Now, if you can
just reach up and touch me

we can change back.

Oh come on, you
dumb dog, reach up!

Dammit, I can't reach you.

Wait here.

You can't hear me, but
I'm going to go for help.

Now don't worry, I'll be
back in just a minute.

Don't move!

- Where is Prince Wendell?

- Ah, yes, Prince Wendell.

- I sent you to get him.

- A noble mission for any troll.

- So where is he?

- You idiots!

- Ow!

- I've spoken with my mirror.

Prince Wendell is
very near, he may even

be in Rivertown by now.

- Wow, that's a stroke of luck.

- Go and find him!

If you return again
without the dog,

I will make you eat
each other's hearts.

- Oh, yuck.

- Well that didn't go
too badly considering.

(goats bleating)

- Prince?

Prince?

Prince?

- [Prince] Anthony!

- Prince!

- [Prince] I found myself!

- Look out!

Look out!

(yelling)

(yelling)

(growling)

Leave him alone, alright?

(dog barking)

He's just a dog, you cowards!

- Tony?

- Dad?

- Tony?

Tony?

- Hey!

- Dad!

Oh, thank God you're alright.

Did you find Prince?

- Uh

- Are you okay?

- I defeated the trolls.

- Oh good.

- That's the good news.

- Excellent.

Is there any bad news, Ton?

- Do you think that boatman
might have, a chisel?

- Dad, what exactly
is the bad news?

- Well...

I think he'll come apart from
the others pretty easily.

- Hunstman.

- You summoned me, my lady.

- Neither Wolf nor the trolls
have captured the dog yet.

Someone is testing me.

- Compared to you,
they're nothing.

- Why can't I see
them in my mirrors?

Somethings clouding my vision.

But, they are near.

They have left the river.

They're about to
enter your forest.

- I will find them.

Nothing escapes
(kiss) The Huntsman.

(dramatic music)

- Every aspect of
my life, I am guided

to my highest happiness
and fulfillment,

every day in every
way I am becoming

a new and better man.

I am sensitive to
the needs of women.

I am listening to my emotions,

and I am one with myself.

And...

Okay, I am full of
peace and serenity,

and I have control

over all of my desires and,

and,

Tony!

You're ruining the bacon,
I can smell it burning!

Bacon!

- I feel terrible.

Look at him!

It was a simple magic fish
spell gold finger mistake, Tony,

It was almost predictable.

- But I've killed him.

- Oh, things have a way
of bouncing back here,

I wouldn't worry
about him too much.

- Really? You're not
just saying that?

- I'm afraid I am
just saying that.

- What?

- Watch this simple
Prince alertness test.

Come on, come on!

Come on, fetch! Fetch!

- That's not funny.

- It could get funnier
if we keep on doing it.

- Why are you two
still sitting here?

I told you to get packed up.

- We're making sandwiches.

- We're making sandwiches.

- Look, the mirror is getting
further away all the time,

if we lose this trail now
we're never going to get home.

- Oh, but Virginia,
breakfast is bacon,

and nothing sets my nostrils
twitching like bacon

in the morning.

Little pigs parading
up and down with their

curly corkscrew tails!

Ah! Bacon sizzling away
on an iron frying pan!

Ah! Basted, roasted,
toasted, nibble it, chew it,

bite right through it,
wobble it, gobble it,

wrap it round a couple of
chickens and am I ravenous!

- Let's finish
these on the move.

- Wait, wait a minute, Virginia.

Virginia, wait, Virginia.

Virginia, what do you see?

- Um, a lot of trees.

- No, you see nothing.

Look at everything
that happened here

last night while you slept.

- Like what?

- You see that clearing?

- Yeah.

- About midnight, a badger
trotted across there.

And then two hours
later, a mother fox took

the path, but our
presence spooked her so

she went back into the trees.

Then a half an hour after that,

another fox appeared,
male this time,

young and out courting, I
reckon he got his porridge

because I didn't
see him come back.

Or, or over there.

You see over there?

Where the undergrowth
is disturbed?

A noisy little wild boar
was snuffling about,

I can't believe he
didn't wake you up.

Oh, oh, oh, and right
in front of you,

you see the passage of the mole,

or over there, a stag
and a doe watched the sun

come up with me, and
that's not to mention

the all night rabbit party, or
the weasels or the pheasants,

or that, that owl.

And you saw nothing.

- I stand corrected.

- You most certainly do.

- Great can we go?

- Oh Tony?

(fairy tale music)

- I am but poor old
lady, spare me some food.

- Sorry, we're down to our
last six bacon sandwiches.

- Good sir

- I only give to
registered charities.

- Young lady?

Spare me some food, please?

- I'll give you what I have.

- Virginia! You're
such a soft touch.

- Yeah, soft touch.

- Hey!

- Since you have been
kind I have a lesson,

for all of you!

Take this stick.

Break it.

And this one.

Put these three together.

Now, try to break them.

- I can't.

- That is the lesson.

- Good lesson.

- Oh wow.

I think maybe that was
only worth one sandwich.

- When the students are
ready, the teacher appears.

- You didn't go to my school.

- Um, excuse me, miss?

Did you happen to see
a dwarf driving a cart?

- Very early this
morning, he took the main

road through the forest,
but you must not.

You must leave the path.

- Wait!

The road's the only safe
thing in the whole forest.

- Not for you.

Someone is following you.

They intend to kill you.

- Ah

- Whoa, wait, what is
this intent to kill?

- There's a man who controls
this forest, The Huntsman.

I've heard he serves the queen.

But he certainly wouldn't
expect us to leave the only road

and go into the forest itself.

- Why not?

- Because only a
fool would go into

the disenchanted forest.

- Well let's not.

- Okay, from now
on, I will lead.

You step where I step.

- Wait, I

(dramatic music)

(haunting winds)

(dog barking)

(dramatic music)

- Is it just me or
do you hear moaning?

- I hear moaning.

- I hear lots of things,
the forest is magical.

- Oh no

- [Virginia] Cripes,
what is this place?

Do you actually know
where we're going?

- I'm following my nose.

- Who is this huntsman?

Ah!

(owl hooting)

We can't walk all night.

- Yes we can.

- Whoa, shh.

Do you hear something?

(horse snorting)

(voices)

- Gypsies.

- What do we do now?

- Come!

Join us of course.

- Poachers. They'll kill
us if they so choose.

Do not refuse
anything they offer,

but do not consume anything

that you haven't already
seen them eat first.

- It's like having dinner
at your grandmother's house.

- I think we should sit down.

(accordion music)

- This is the best
hedgehog I've had in weeks!

(clapping)

- Now it's your turn, stranger.

- Oh, well, no, I
don't actually play.

- Then sing us a song.

- Not a singer.

- Tony, sing!

Let's not insult our hosts.

- I, I can't think of any songs.

- Is our hospitality
not worth a song?

- I don't, I can't.

Sure.

Um.

♪ Picked up a boy,
just south of Mobile

♪ Gave him a ride, filled
him with a hot meal

♪ I was sixteen he was 21

♪ Gypsies, tramps and thieves

♪ We heard it from the people
in the town they called us

♪ Gypsies, tramps and thieves

♪ And every night, the
men would come around

♪ And lay their money down

- That was good, Dad.

- [Tony] Hey, well, I

(dramatic music)

- Set me free!

Set us free!

Please, set us free.

We're just little victims.

- Magic birds.

Very rare, very hard to catch.

Only the gypsies know
how to catch them.

- Little victims,
you understand that

Little victims.

- What will happen to them?

- They'll have
their wings broken,

be sold to rich people.

- We won't will we?

That's awful.

- See some people,
they eat them,

believing that they
absorb their magic.

- They don't do they?

That's terrible.

I have six little babies
waiting to be fed.

They're starving to
death without me.

- That's awful.

Set us free!

Please set us free.

- Is he real gold?

- What? No, no.

No, no, no, no, oh please don't.

No, no it's just gold paint.

I bought a couple, a pair, to
put a the end of my driveway.

(dramatic music)

- Set up a table.

(owl calling)

I see great wealth
coming to you.

- Yeah, that's what
I like to hear.

- And passings,
straight through.

- That was the, bean I had.

And what about the future?

- I find The Fool

- Uh-huh, and that card?

What's that card?

- The Fool's friend, the Oaf.

He is joined by the Buffoon
and the Village Idiot.

- Well, uh

- I will read the girl.

- No thanks.

(violin music)

- You are full of anger.

You conceal much about yourself.

I need a lock of your hair.

(magical sounds)

You have a great destiny which
stretches way back in time.

- I'm just a waitress
so I don't think

there's any prizes so far.

- You have never
forgiven your mother

for leaving you.

- As I said, I'm not
really interested in

having my fortune read.

- Love and romance, please.

Marriage, children, how
long is it going to take

for the creamy girl of
my dreams to say yes,

that sort of thing.

- I see death.

Young girl dead.

Torn to pieces.

- No!

No.

See, I was thinking
more along the lines of

three girls and two boys?

- I see a fire being built.

- Uh-oh.

- You are going to
be burned on it.

- No! No.

- You are not what you seem.

You are a wolf.

- And so is your grandson.

- You must stay with us tonight.

Friends must stay together
in the dangerous forest.

- Yeah.

(howling)

(birds calling)

- Please set us free!

- Set us free set
us free set us free

- Set me free!

- Please set us free.

(dramatic music)

(birds singing)

- Set us free! Set us free!

- Please set us free!

- Set me free!

- Please set us free!

- Set me free!

- Please set us free!

- Please set me free!

- What the hell is she doing?

- Set me free!

- Virginia!

- Don't don't!

- Come on!

(crashing)

- [Tony] Go, go go,
let's get out of here.

We gotta go!

Go go!

- After them!

Quick!

- Virginia?

(dramatic music)

(yelling)

- Ah!

(yelling)

- [Fortune Teller] Come back!

Come back!

- [Wolf] I don't understand,

the old woman
called off the hunt.

- Maybe we just got lucky, okay?

Let's just get going, the
sooner we get out of this forest

the better.

Help me get Prince
up on the path.

- Oh, can't we just bury him?

We can always come back
sometime in the future.

- I'm not going to
leave him, alright?

I got him into this mess,
I'm going to get him out.

- [Wolf] (growling)
I wish I knew why

they gave up so easily.

That's not like gypsies at all.

(bubbling)

- Stretch it, twist
it, make it grow

Like a river, make it flow,

make it pull and pinch and tweak

make it grow until
she grows weak

make her moan and scream and cry

make her wish that
she would die!

(horse neighing)

- All poachers will be killed
by order of The Huntsman.

(hawk calling)

He's here! He's here!

- He's over there, I
saw something move.

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

- What? What are you looking at?

- Um, your hair,

it looks, well, different.

- Oh yeah, that's because I

went to the
beautician last night.

- No, it's not that.

It's grown.

- Grown?

- So it has.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God, it is longer.

That's so weird.

What's happening?

- The gypsies.

Of course they had
some of your hair.

The gypsies have cursed you!

- Cursed me?

What do you mean cursed?

What am I supposed to do?

- Um, braid it?

(thunder claps)

- [Virginia] Ow, stop it!

You're jerking it!

- [Wolf] I'm sorry,
it's not that easy.

You've got a lot of split ends.

- [Virginia] Ugh!

- [Tony] How long is it now?

- [Wolf] Oh, don't ask.

- [Tony] Where are we going?

(thunder claps)

- Ow!

- [Tony] Wait, wait wait.

- This is crazy, we
can't keep going,

we've got to stop somewhere.

- Well where are we
going to find shelter

in the middle of the forest?

- I don't know
(thunder claps)

- Look!

(thunder claps)

- Anyone home?

- [Wolf] It's okay, no one's
been here for a long time.

(thunder claps)

- Hey, hey come look at this.

(thunder claps)

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

- This is Snow White's cottage.

Goodness, gracious me, this
is the Seven Dwarves' house!

It's been lost for
a very long time.

- Those beds are so tiny.

- See this is a great
piece of our history.

It's a pity Prince is a stiff,

this is his grandma's cottage!

Gripes!

We really shouldn't have a
fire if someone's following us.

- I don't care, I'm not
going to bed with wet hair.

- [Wolf] (growling)

- You know, here's a question
I never thought I'd be asking.

What happened to Snow White
after she married the prince?

- She became a great queen.

One of the five women
who changed history.

- Five women?

- Snow White, Cinderella,
Queen Riding Hood,

Grettel the Great,
and the Lady Rapunzel.

They formed the
first five kingdoms,

brought peace to all the lands.

But they're all dead now.

Some say Cinderella's
still alive,

but no one's seen her in
public in nearly 40 years.

She would be nearly
200 years old.

The days of "happy
ever after" are gone.

These are dark times.

- [Tony] (yawning)

(crickets)

(snoring)

- [Virginia] What'd you say
to that boy in the gypsy camp?

- Nothing much, just wolf stuff.

- What's wolf stuff?

- Oh, I didn't need to
say anything to him,

I was just with him.

He had never seen another
wolf and he was scared.

It's a lonely path in
life to be different,

as you know.

Where's your mom?

- I have no idea.

She walked out on
us when I was seven.

- Sad to be left when
you're so little.

- I very rarely think about
it to be honest with you.

She's never really
been a part of my life.

- What happened?

- She just left home.

Wouldn't you if you
were married to my dad?

They're just totally
different people.

You've met my
grandmother, right?

My mother was like that.

It was a complete mismatch, they

never should have gotten
married to begin with.

Anyway,

it was a long time ago.

- Well where is she now?

- I haven't a clue.

And I couldn't
care less, really.

- Don't you wonder
what she's like?

- She could have gotten
back in touch with me,

but she didn't.

And that's fine,
you know, I mean

she doesn't want me, I'm
not going to waste my energy

thinking about her.

- Oh.

- Oh what?

- Oh. Just oh.

Oh.

As in, an encouraging,
noncommittal noise.

Try not to comment
as you listen,

as my very good
self-help books tell me.

(sneezing)

You must do something
magnificent with your life.

- Oh yeah? Why?

- Because your
hurt is very great.

- They just split up okay? God!

Doesn't that ever happen
where you come from?

- Of course not.

We either live
happily ever after,

or we get killed
by horrible curses.

You don't trust nobody.

- I don't trust you, no.

- Well,

you may not get hurt,

but huff puff,

you won't get loved either.

(birds singing)

- My God.

Oh my God!

- What? What?

Goodness me!

Cripes!

- It's everywhere!

What am I going to do?

- [Wolf] Tony? Tony?

Virginia, it's...

- [Virginia] It's
growing up the stairs!

- You know what, it's no good.

Nothing cuts through this.

- Well what if it
never stops growing?

I'm going to die of long hair!

- No, no

- [Bird] Don't despair.

Because you saved my life,

I will tell you how
to cut your hair.

- Oh please!

- Deep in the forest there is
a Woodsman with a magic ax,

that when swung, never fails
to cut whatever it hits.

And it will cut your
hair and kill the curse.

- Okay, we better
get moving before

Virginia's hair gets too long.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

oh, these apples look
good though, huh?

- No Tony! No,
what are you doing?

Don't eat that apple!

- Hey, hey, hey, why not?

- Think about where you are,

Snow White's cottage.

- Yeah?

- That apple tree has
probably grown from

the pips of the apple
that poisoned her!

- Ugh, is nothing safe
around this crazy place?

- Come along, we have
much to do if we're

going to keep up
with the mirror.

- Okay, you got the
hair, I got the dog.

(suspenseful music)

Just be careful, you
got this trip here,

- No kidding?

It's tripping.

- You know, I didn't curse you.

- Oh, oh, oh, I got a scent.

I'm sure it's The
Huntsman, he's near.

We must move faster.

- Hello? I can't go any faster!

- Virginia this man is going
to catch us within an hour

- Alright, alright alright
what are we going to do?

- I'll hide you.

This Hunstman is very
good, but he follows tracks

he cannot smell
things like an animal.

I lead him in a
big circle and then

come back for you tomorrow.

- What?

- Now hurry! Let's
start with Prince.

That's the best I can do.

Are you okay?

Now, don't breathe.

Okay.

Don't breathe at all
until I return, okay?

Okay, good.

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music)

(sneezing)

- Virginia get out, come on

run run!

Hurry, follow me!

Run! Run!

Virginia!

- Ow!

(dramatic music)

- Virginia?

Virginia?

- Ow!

Stop it, you're hurting me!

Let go!

Let go of me right now!

Ow!

- Ah!

- What happened?

- He's got Virginia,
that's what happened.

- No!

- Yes.

- We'll never find her!

- What?

- It's all my fault.

Oh, it's all my fault!

(crying)

(howling)

(dramatic music)

(knocking)

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

♪ I'm wishing on a star

♪ To follow where you are

♪ I'm wishing on a dream

♪ To follow what it means

♪ And I wish on all the rainbows

♪ That I've seen

♪ I wish on all the
people who really dream.

♪ I'm wishing on a star