Environ-mental Case (1990) - full transcript


Nick! Nick!

What happened?

Bug, bug, bug, bug.

Up in my room.

Oh, honey, you're making all this fuss over a bug?

No. Not a bug.

The bug. The mother bug.

Ick, ick, do something.

Hey, Mikey, we got an icky bug problem.

What are we gonna do, huh?

All right, Joe, here's the plan.

I'll go get the bug,

and you and Nicole keep hopping, keep hopping.


Dad, this is serious.

Don't worry.

Mike will kill bug. Mike will smush bug.

Mike strongest hunter in cave.

We're moving!

Get back in there, you wuss.

That bug can take me.

Hey, I'll smash him with this shoe.

But the shoes he's wearing are bigger than that.

Where is the bug spray?

It was there yesterday.

It's gone.

And so's the oven cleaner

and the... And the detergent and the bleach.

Yeah, well, it's all poison.

I decided we don't need that around the house anymore.

You decided? Joe, we got Bugzilla in there.

Dad, how are we supposed to kill it?

Hey, Nick, why do we gotta kill it?

You always said you wanted a pet.


Now look, I'm going into Michael's room,

and I am not coming out again

until you two show me an icky, dead bug body.

You don't need that.

Yeah, you're right. I'm just being silly.

Put that down. Come on. Come on.


Here, Spot.

Here, Spot.

Come on, Joey's gonna turn little spot into a big stain.

Man, I can't believe you're afraid of a...

Whoa! Whoa!

What? Where'd he go?

Underneath the radiator.

And he had to duck.

Let me get one little spritz of bug spray.

Who is it... Who's that gonna hurt, huh?

Hey, it's poison. It's gonna hurt all of us.

Especially Nicole.

Okay? If we don't start cleaning up the planet by the time she's...

(SCREAMS) What? The bug?

The speech.

I don't wanna hear that speech now.

What? You don't think we got a responsibility to our planet, huh?

And to all living things?

Yes, Joe. I agree.

All life is sacred.


You want to kill that bug? Yes.

I'll get him out from underneath that radiator for you, all right?

Thank you.

Hey, hey, Joe?

That's not funny. Hey.

Oh. Oh, hey, hey.

Hey, get off of me!

Get off! Let go of my foot.

Whoa! Ah.

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter what you do

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter where you go

♪♪ I'm standing by your side.

♪♪ I'll be right behind

♪♪ No one loves you more than I do

♪♪ Put your hand in mine

♪♪ I can see a part of me in you

♪♪ A little something special that comes shining through

♪♪ I hear it in your laughter

♪♪ And I feel it when you cry

♪♪ I will be right there for you

♪♪ Until the day I die

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter what you do

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter where you go

♪♪ You can count on me ♪♪

Ah. Okay.

Who gets the Bloatburger with cheese?

Uh, mine.



What are these?

Chicken pucks.

Wait a minute. I thought you were allergic to chicken.

Not the beaks.

Dad, want some fries?

You guys really shouldn't be eating that stuff.

We know, we know. It's junk food. It's poison.

We're all gonna die.

Hey, they're cuttin' down the rain forests to make grazing land

for the cattle that those burgers are made out of.

What do you think about that?

Do fish have hair?

See this container?

See this thing, this thing never breaks down.

I mean, you crush this thing,

the chlorofluorocarbons are released into the atmosphere,

and they eat giant holes into the ozone layer.

And without the ozone layer, we're not gonna be...

Dad. What?

Later, okay?

Hey, how 'bout there might not be a later

unless you guys get smart now.

Oh, Dad.


Hey, nobody wants to hear this stuff, right?

Hey, but we all better start listening now.

All right, listen, I got an idea,

I got an idea. There's a big rally this afternoon.

I'm gonna go down. There's gonna be a couple speakers.

They're gonna be talking about what we can all do

to, you know, clean up the planet.

What do you say you guys come with me?

Come on, you might learn something.

It's Saturday. We don't have to learn anything until Monday.

We were going to a movie.

What? You can't go to a movie tomorrow?

Come on, go with me.

Dad, what is this rally gonna help anyway?

Hey, you're gonna be carrying picket signs, right?

Don't they have to kill trees to make picket signs?


Oh, this is really, really funny to you guys, huh?


Dad, what difference does it make whether I go or not?

A big difference.

Come on, I'm one person. And so are you.

I mean, nothing that one person does is gonna change a thing.

This is my kid talking?

And this is what you think?

Oh, you better be wrong, Nicole.

For your own good.

BOTH: Ooh!

NICOLE: So then he left for the rally.

Why was he so mad, Michael?

Let me tell you something about when Joey feels strongly about an issue.

He always... One time in college

he was protesting for coed dorms.

So to prove his point, he and two women were...

Let's go back even further. Okay? Before that.

In ninth grade, the issue was dress code. Right?

'Cause back then we weren't allowed to wear dungarees to school.

Oh, that's unfair.

You're telling me.

What's a dungaree?

Those were jeans that cost nine dollars.

Get out of here!

Hey, Joey convinced me that it was un-American to be told

what you could wear and what you couldn't wear,

and that we should make a statement.

So you complained to the principal?

Oh, no, that would be too easy.

Joey had a better idea.

So one day, each of us

showed up in homeroom wearing a dress.

That's great.

How did you look?

Mine was kind of nice Powder blue, belted at the waist.

It was pretty tasteful. Joey, of course, looked like a tramp.

So... So, what did you get from all that?

I got detention. Joey got pinned.

No, no, I mean, the dress code.

Oh, it worked. They changed the dress code.

We made a difference.


Boy, those were the days, I'll tell ya.

Right on. Far out.

Make lunch. Not war.

Hello. All you need is love, love is all you need.

Michael, row your boat ashore, speaking.



Thank you.

Thank you.

Did I ever tell you about the time Joey got arrested?

When was that?

Just now.

All right, what's this?

Disturbing the peace, Your Honor.

He's charged with playing a portable radio

at an unacceptable volume on a city bus.

Oh, that is so annoying.

It's his 17th offense, Your Honor.


Well, I feel it's my right to express myself as loud as I need to.

How 'bout that?

Come here, darling.

Thirty days!

How 'bout that?

There are times when I just love this job.

What is this?

Case number 1-1-2-1-3.

Southeast Oil v. Me.



I can't hear this case.

Mr. Harris is a close, personal...


So everybody out.

Come here, Joe.

Hey, you don't even know what I did.

Joe, what happened?

Everything's fine.

What do you mean, "Everything's fine"? You were arrested.

Of course. I broke the law.

(CHUCKLES) Listen, Joe.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm thinking

maybe it's not such a smart idea to actually admit

you broke the law in front of, oh, say, a judge.

I'm not a judge in this case.

I'm a friend.

What did you do?

It was an environmental protest.

Oh, no, and what did you do?

You pulled some crazy stunt?

Hey, what is so crazy about breaking into a bathroom

and pouring oil down the toilet?

I know. Pick me.

Me first.

'Cause you know that big oil spill off the Jersey coast?

Well, that Southeast oil tanker

leaked thousands of gallons of oil all over the beach.

So I went down there and I shoveled up a couple barrels,

and I took it down to their executive offices,

and I dumped it in their toilets.

And what is that supposed to prove?

Hey, the point is,

if they're gonna treat our world like a toilet,

I'm gonna treat their toilets like they're treating our world.

Right on, Joe. Power to the plungers. Yeah.

I don't know, Joey, it just seems like to me

all you did was get yourself into a lot of trouble.

Judge, what happens now?

Maybe nothing, honey.

Big companies like Southeast Oil,

they shy away from publicity like this.

They'll probably settle for a small fine.

So he pays the fine and that's it?

Joey, I cannot believe how lucky you are.

I mean, nobody finds out about it.

Nobody goes to jail.

It's like you didn't do anything.

Oh, is that what you think?

I didn't do anything?


Hey, maybe I didn't do enough, huh?

A buck says this is bad.

JUDGE BANION: Okay, Mr. Harris.

My grandchildren are visiting this afternoon

and I'd like to spend some time with them,

so let's get this thing over with.

Southeast Oil is willing to drop the whole thing,

on the condition that you clean up their bathroom.

Sound good?

Yes! No.

Why, Mr. Harris?

I will clean up their bathroom

when they clean up my beach.

Can I just show you a picture of my grandchildren?

Hey, I'm doing this for your grandchildren, Judge.

I'll have to set a fine.

A hundred dollars.

Won't pay it.

Judge, if he doesn't pay the fine...

That's why I got you two dads, sweetie.

Thirty days' suspended sentence?


Are you aware there are people who haven't even

committed crimes who would kill for that sentence?

All right, I'm paying the fine.

Hey, nobody's paying this fine! I'm paying the fine.

Hey, I'm not paying the fine.

If I pay this fine, the whole thing gets covered up,

no publicity, no nothing.

If I go to jail, maybe somebody'll think it's important.

Hey, this is not high school detention, this is jail!

Mr. Taylor. You shush.

What do you want me to do, huh?

What do you want me to do? I will do it.

Hey, I am not asking you to do anything.

Come here, come here a second. Did you hear this?

Did you hear the bang? Do you know what... Mr. Taylor.

Just a second. Do you know what that bang means?

It means all finished. Pay the fine!

Just pay the fine. Mr. Taylor!

Just... I got the hammer. I'm talking. Look, just pay the fine.

It's a hundred bucks. Pay it.

Joe, do you realize what could've happened?

You could've gotten a very tough judge.

But, no. You... You lucked out.

You got Judge Wimpner!

Guess what.

Well, buddy,

at least if we're gonna go through this,

we'll go through it together, huh?

All three of us.

MICHAEL: Hey, hey, you gotta let me out of here.

I don't belong in here. I'm a financial advisor!

MAN 1: Hey, so am I!

MAN 2: Me, too. MAN 3: Oh, what company?

I don't believe this. I gotta get out of here.

I gotta get out of here.


I was thinking we could pal around together.

Of course we can.


Will you relax?

The judge gave you 24 hours for contempt of court.

You're gonna be out of here today.

I'm not talking to you.

Hey, you're not in here 'cause of me. Right.

You're in here 'cause of your mouth. Right.

All night, bicker, bicker, bicker.

Like a couple of married people.

Huh. Is there something about you two I oughta know?

It's not what you think.

We just... We happen to live together,

and we're raising a daughter.


Hey, I think he likes you, Mikey.

You are dead to me.

Hey, fine. Be miserable.

Oh, you're enjoying this?

No. No. But I got a reason for being here.

I care that the planet's being turned into a dump.

Well, so do I.

So does any sane person. And yes,

I agree that something has to be done about it.

But this is not it!

How are you... How are you gonna save the planet

if you're in jail?

It's a dilemma I, myself, have wrestled with a few times.


We must get out of here now.

No, I can't, 'cause I'm here for a reason.

What is your reason? You really think that the whole world

is gonna stand up and take notice because you are in here?

I noticed.

And I'm gonna do everything I can to help the environment.

As soon as they let me in it.


You're nuts. You are crazy.

Nobody cares that you are here.

Believe me.

You know, Joe, pinhead has a point.

Thank you.

This isn't the '60s.

(SCOFFS) You're not gonna make the papers sittin' around the cell

singing Kum Ba Yah.

Yeah? Well, it doesn't matter.

'Cause this is my way of making a statement.

There are other ways.

You mean, through the system, like you?

So okay, I don't pour oil down peoples' toilets.

I get plenty involved, pal.

I work for candidates that I believe in,

I send letters, I sign petition. What's wrong with that?

Hey, nothing. That's fine, that's great.

And that's your way. This is my way.

And this is... This is what you're trying to teach your daughter,

that going to jail, that's the right way. Huh?

Yeah! Yeah.

No, no! This is my way!

Okay? She can do it anyway she chooses.

Your way, my way, her own way.

But right now she's got no way.

And she doesn't care, because she doesn't think that she can make a difference.

Well, I want her to care!

See, now I remember why I put on that dress.


You always used to give me grief when I'd do these kind of things, right?

But you knew that I'm doing them for the right reason.


Shut up.


I feel a hug coming.

Which one of you is Michael Taylor? You're free to go.

Well, so long, buddy.

I'm Michael Taylor!

Sit down, Chuck.


Go on.

Go on, get out of here.

Hey, what... You gonna stay here, till what?

Till you get into the news?

How is that gonna happen?

I don't know. I got 29 more days to find out.

Next case.

That's it, Your Honor.

There's nothing left on the docket.

JUDGE WILBUR: Court's adjourned.

Judge, where's Michael?

You got him out hours ago.

Don't worry, sweetie.

We'll meet him at home.

Sorry I couldn't get Joey out, too.

He just wouldn't go for it.

Why not?

He said he hadn't made his statement yet.


I'm back from my trip up the river.

Hi, honey.

I made you a little something in shop.

I'm sorry it's so small. I wasn't there real long.

Where have you been?

Trying to get somebody to tell Joey's story.

I went to the radio stations, newspapers, a magazine or two.

Nobody seems to feel that he's news,

unless he did what he did because Elvis told him to.

So he's gonna spend 30 days in jail?

For what?

Is the world gonna be any different?

I think he's hoping you'll be different.

What does this have to do with me?

I'm not polluting the beaches.

Nobody's saying it's your fault,

but whoever put it there it's still there,

and it's gonna be there for a while.

No, it's not going away.

And sooner or later you're gonna have to do something.

Do what? Go to jail?

No, I don't think so. I think...

I think Joey just wants you to care.

And so do I.

I do.

Maybe I've been a little lazy,

but from now on, I'll recycle,

and I'll ask for paper instead of plastic,

and I won't use bug spray.

Will he come out now?

See, you're only half the reason he's doing this crazy thing.

Getting his point to the rest of the world is the other half.

And I don't know what to do about that.

BOTH: ♪♪ Kum ba yah, my Lord,

♪♪ Kum ba yah

♪♪ Kum ba yah, my Lord

♪♪ Kum ba yah ♪♪


I said everybody sing!

ALL: ♪♪ Kum ba yah, my Lord

♪♪ Kum ba yah

♪♪ Oh, Lord, kum ba yah ♪♪

Open that cell.

Who are you?

That's Judge Margaret Wilbur.

She's a personal friend of mine.

We get together every three to five years.

Hey, Judge, I told ya, I'm staying in.

Here's my I.D.

Here's my authorization.

Now give me the key to that cell.


Hey, you can't do that. Give me the key back.

Come and get it.


Judge, what are you doing?


Okay, folks, come on in.

Joey Harris, meet the press.

Okay, folks,

fire away.

Well, Dad, you finally made your statement.

"'It was time to take a stand,' commented Judge Margaret Wilbur,

"shown here with unidentified man."

That's you, Dad.

So what do you think, Joe?

Page three good enough?

It's a start.

Hey, thanks, Judge.

Do it again I'll let you rot for 40 years.

Joey, I've been thinking about what you did

and I want you to know that I'm really proud of you.

Hey, I didn't do it to make you proud of me.

I know.

But I am anyway.


Bug! Big bug!

Big bug! Bug!

You big baby.

What, you can't shave with a bug in the bathroom?

It took my razor.

I know a way we can get him.

I've been reading up.

Instead of pesticides,

you can use a box of baking soda.

See, Joey? I do care.

Okay, now let's see if my way works.

See, Joe, she cares.

(TAPS ON TABLE) You made a difference.


Ew. Ew.

Ew, ew, ew, ew.

What happened? Baking soda didn't work?

I got him.