End of the Icon (1995) - full transcript

(pensive music)

- [Edward] When Johnny left for Hollywood,

I told him I'd come visit him one day.

And when I did, we'd take
a tour of one of those

movie studios.

I had this theory that's where the ghosts

of legends lived.

John Bandini drank Wild Turkey,

rode his motorcycle fast and drunk

with no helmet.

He left for Hollywood a
year ago to become a legend,



got the starring role in a big movie,

and then drove his '68 black and white

BSA motorcycle around the set,

destroying everything.

His phone hadn't rung since.

(engine rumbling)

I went to see him.

(engine rumbling)

I hadn't seen Johnny for a year.

While he was in Hollywood
becoming a legend,

I was at home sober
becoming a shoe repairman.

- [Elner] These will get you to Hollywood.

- Thanks, Elner.

It's perfect.



- Look inside, Edward.

Always look inside first.

A small bonus for the
best shoe man I have had

since Erwin Clank, bless his soul.

- Thanks, Elner.

Thanks, Joanne.

Thank you.

Thanks.

(pensive music)

Okay.

Well, thanks again.

- Oh, come on.

I'll miss you.

(pensive music)

- You've got everything?

You have your money, your tickets?

- Yeah.

- Watch out for that elbow.

- Oh.

No, no.

None of that.

I'm fine.

- Good.

- Well, go. Go.

- Go.

(plane whizzing)

- [Elner] Say hello to Charle
Chaplin for me, will you?

- [Joanne] Bye, Edward!

- [Voiceover] Now arriving, Hollywood.

Now arriving.

- [Edward] I learned a
great deal as a shoe man.

I learned there's no
money in patching soles.

It's not profitable to the customer

nor to the repairer.

In fact, it's better to wear the shoe out,

eat it down until it's
almost completely destroyed.

And then you're ready
for a whole new sole.

- [Voiceover] Jesus is
knocking on the door

of your heart today.

(cheerful piano music)

(laughing loudly)

(cheerful piano music)

- So eat that jerky!

Jerky, piss, piss!

You stupid dick!

Dick!

(cheerful piano music)

♫ I love applause ♫

- I like this song better.

- I've got (muffled speech).

- I've got like Tuesday, Tuesday night,

Wednesday.

- [Woman] Wednesday?

(cheerful piano music)

- (exhales loudly) John
Bandini's room, please.

- No John Bandini here.

- It's the Hollywood Hotel, 110 Winston?

- Yeah.

- John Bandini.

- Um-um.

(laughter in the background)

- All right.

I'll take a room then, preferably one

with an alley view.

- Sorry, sir.

All the rooms with an
alley view's been taken.

- Whatever you got, then.

(door creaking)

(loud scraping)

(blows loudly)

(clapping)

- [Edward] Errol Flynn,
at his own birthday party,

went to the cemetery and
dug up his best friend,

John Barrymore, from the grave.

He took him back to the party.

He propped him up on a
chair, and placed a drink

in his hand, just so
they could be together.

Hollywood!

John Bandini.

- You just remember what Huey Long said,

"Every man's a king."

And I'm the king around here.

And I'm the king around here.

Here, here.

Here.

- Los Angeles.

John Bandini.

- Huh! Huh!

- Harr!

- Ugh!

- Vrr!

- Can you try Beverly Hills?

(crying loudly)

I didn't think so.

Thank you.

(dial tone)

(exhales loudly)

(pensive music)

- [Edward] Drinking was like taking a ride

in a time machine, with
hundreds of buttons

that had no labels.

Where I wouuld arrive, I would never know.

(pensive music)

(strong vibration)

- Earthquake.

- Oh, shit!

(alarm blaring)

(loud crash)

(alarm blaring)

(loud bang)

(shouting out)

(exhales loudly)

(strained grunting)

(loud hissing)

(loud grunting)

- Uh, Edward?

(elevator dings)

- Johnny.

(cheerful music)

- How the fuck are you, man?

(Edward groaning)

You look great.

- I haven't had a drink in six months.

- [Johnny] No shit.

- Hey, the guy at the front
desk said there's no Bandini.

- Yeah.

Johnny Chance.

Screen name.

- Hey!

You still got old Sparky?

- Yeah.

- And is she running?

- She's not.

- Oh.

Hey, I got something for you.

- That's cool.

That's really cool, man.

That's cool.

- [Edward] You like them?

- Yeah, man.

They're cool.

Thanks, man.

It's good to see you, man.

(loud cheer and applause)

- [Voiceover] Well!

(funky music)

- Tom Cruise is...

What was it?

What's, what...

(funky music)

(loud punch)

(muffled funky music)

- Oh, you fucking used me!

All those guys bigger than Brando

and De Niro and Pacino.

Fuck those guys, man!

I make James Dean look like Barney Rubble!

(funky music)

♫ I want to tell you what to do

♫ I will take you to school

♫ I would be your teacher

♫ They let you out for a reason

♫ Come play with me ♫

- Let's make a toast.

(funky music)

- I look good.

- Yeah.

- I look really good, you know.

Like even today, I'm completely hungover,

and I look good, you know.

And it's not just physical.

I'm magnetic.

I have this magnetism.

- Yeah, I was thinking that this morning

when I saw you passed out on the floor.

I was very drawn to you.

- No, just, it's not ego.

I'm saying--

- No, I'm not--

- I know what I am, you know.

- Yeah.

- I, I have to know what I
am, and I am good-looking.

- Yeah.

- And I am magnetic.

- Yeah.

Check out that car, man.

That is a nice car.

- That's a really nice car.

- [Edward] My mother always
said that Johnny and I

shouldn't hang out together.

She said we would both
end up like Butch Cassidy

and the Sundance Kid, dead
in some Mexican prison.

I told my mom that Butch
Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

didn't die in a Mexican prison.

They were actually shot to death.

- Johnny, what are you doing?

Are you trying to hot-wire this thing?

- I need a screwdriver.

- So, what are you doing?

- I have no idea.

- Well, shouldn't you get one?

- A screwdriver?

- No, an idea.

- Yeah, because that would be nice.

- Johnny, you're in a stolen car.

- It's not officially stolen yet.

- Then, let's do it.

Move over.

- You know how to work it?

- Oh, yeah.

No problem.

- Nice car.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, this is a sweet car!

283 horse, 290 fuel injection.

V8, right?

- Three-six.

- Call me crazy, but I'm counting
nine teeth on this grill.

The 458, all the engines were straight six

and the grills had 13 teeth.

This has nine.

- Yeah?

- That'll make it a V, bro.

- Well, some of the teeth came off.

- Ain't that a bitch?

Ooh, leather.

(The Blue Danube Waltz playing)

Ooh, soft as mozarella leather.

- [Johnny] That's Jack Spain.

- [Edward] The actor?

- [Johnny] Yeah.

- [Edward] No way.

Jack Spain's like bigger.

He's got darker hair.

- Hey, this license
plate, it says, "N TENSE."

Which one of you is N Tense?

- He is.

- You are?

- Uh, yeah.

- Well, hello, N Tense.

How come you ain't
driving your car, N Tense?

- Uh, I don't know,

just feeling a little too
tense, I guess (chuckles).

- Well, the thing is, when
you're driving this car,

everybody is looking at you, am I right?

And you know what they think?

Silently to themselves, they're thinking,

"I want to fuck N Tense."

Yeah, even straight guys want to,

because he is so cool.

He's got a cool name.

He's got a cool antique 'vette.

He's as cool as they come.

And everybody, I mean everybody,

wants to fuck Mr. N Tense.

I sure wouldn't want to fuck
with that N Tense, though.

No, sirree, no.

Nope.

I bet that Mr. N Tense
is a bad motherbrother.

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised

if Mr. N Tense had a
big, shiny, loaded gun

in case somebody tried to fuck with him.

- No, no, no!

Just get your--

- Autograph?

Hold the paper still.

Now, both of you, get
out of my fucking car.

(tires screeching)

- Nice car.

♫ Lord, I think I lost my sense of humor

♫ But maybe it's hidden at the bottom

♫ Of a Beaujolais

♫ German wine is a lot like Rhine

♫ It's cold and it's quick

♫ And it's sweeping me away

♫ It's cold and it's quick

♫ And it's sweeping me away

♫ Be it French or Italian

♫ Chenin blanc, Cabernet

♫ Be it day-old crackers
or a Domino's pizza, man

♫ Hey, how you doing

♫ It's so good to meet you, man

♫ Keep the change now

♫ Don't be strange now

♫ I'm glad to know that

♫ You're in a Range now

♫ Fix me up when I'm too drunk to drive

♫ But don't get me wrong

♫ Because I don't strive to be ♫

- Oh, fuck.

(blowdryer blasting)

(door creaking)

- Nobody called?

- Huh?

- [Johnny] Nobody called?

- No.

- Can you fix it?

- What?

- The bike!

- Oh, yeah.

- The phone's wet.

- Seriously?

(Johnny exhales loudly)

- Did you fuck with the phone?

- No.

- Well, it won't dial out.

- Seriously?

- It smells like piss.

- Seriously?

- You fucking pissed on my $100

whole button automatic
redial phone, Edward.

- I'm sorry.

- Edward, what are you doing?

- Just having a little drink.

- Could you just start
drinking at night, man?

That's what I do.

- What's the difference?

- You start drinking in the morning,

and you're pissing on phones by 2 a.m.

That's the fucking difference.

Just cool out, man.

Edward!

- What?

- You don't come in here
and start screwing up

my life for me, man!

I've got a broken
motorcycle, and I'm virtually

blacklisted in this town.

All I've got is Jack Spain's autograph.

And if I had a chance in hell

of getting a call for a
job now, I've got a sticky

fucking piss-smelling phone to get it on!

(sighs) I mean, Jesus!

Edward!

- I guess this means the
studio tour thing is out.

- Oh, no, no, of course not.

Let me call and make reservations.

Oh, ding bats, I can't!

I forgot!

The phone won't dial out!

(phone slamming)

(exhales loudly)

Can I have a little bit of that?

(laughs loudly)

(pensive music)

(muffled siren blaring)

- Johnny, can we go on

that studio tour thing?

Johnny.

Every day, I look outside, it's raining.

Typical. Gray.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Because you go to a
bar, have six drinks and

it all becomes interesting.

And you stop remembering after 10.

Bartender looks at you funny.

And you wake up.

And there's a road sign in your shower,

and your shirt's ripped
and your hand's cut

and you have no idea
how you spent 200 bucks

in one night.

And you'll never see that beautiful woman

you were kissing in the bar ever again.

But you wake up.

You eat a cheese sandwich, drink a Coke,

and it tastes like fucking magic.

Yeah, something happened.

Something out of the ordinary.

Something out of the fucking mundane.

(upbeat drumming)

- [Voiceover] Still in
Hollywood, James Dean's star

was stolen sometime
around 3 a.m. this morning

from the streets of Hollywood Boulevard.

- [Edward] Maybe we should
get out of town for a while,

go to Mexico or something.

- [Johnny] Why would I want
to go to Mexico right now?

- It's just an idea, Johnny.

You don't have to get excited about it.

- [Voiceover] They say it was
smashed up with a jackhammer

and carried away.

- That's uncool! Fuck cool!

- [Voiceover] Witnesses
claim they saw a man running

with a 100-pound slab of
cement down the boulevard.

- Jesus, I thought you'd like it.

- What, you thought I'd like it?

- Yeah, I thought you'd like it.

- [Voiceover] The Avenue of
the Stars Committee plans

to replace the star with
a new one while the police

continue to search for the suspect.

The star is one of the
first ever on the boulevard.

It had been there since 1958.

- I'm just, I'm not interested
in going down this road

with you, Edward.

If you want to do shit
like this, it's fine.

Just, just, you should do it alone.

I'm not going to be your
excuse for a drinking buddy,

all right?

So why don't you just, just

get out, man?

Just get out!

- All right, I will.

- Good. Leave.

Now, man.

- I will.

- Edward!

Get the fuck out and
take your booze with you!

- Fine, fine, I will.

- Get out!

(door slams)

- You're going to kick
my ass out of here, huh?

You're going to fuck
with me, Johnny Chance?

Huh?

Oh, I come in and fuck up your life, huh?

I come in and screw up
your Hollywood world, huh?

- Edward, get the fuck out of here.

- No!

Because I've got a
fucking point, all right?

The point is,

we are fucked up.

We are both fucked up.

- Edward, I'm not as fucked up as you.

- No!

The point is

we are both fucked up!

- Dude, you're way more fucked up than me.

- You're not listening!

The point is we are fucked up together!

We are fucked up together!

And this, this is a slab of cement,

and it means nothing,
and he means nothing,

and nobody but the--

- Dude, put that ax away.

- Construction workers who
have to put the fucking

thing back--

- Edward!

- Will give a shit.

And they really don't care!

- Edward!

- Because they're getting paid for it.

- Edward! Edward!

Edward!

(loud crash)

(punching)

(loud crash)

(grunting)

(punching)

(grunting)

(phone ringing)

(grunting)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

You're going to have to talk louder.

Edward pissed on my phone.

Yeah!

Uh, okay.

Uh, uh.

Hang on.

Okay, where?

Yeah, um, yeah, that's fine.

That's great.

Thank you!

I gotta go meet this guy.

- What time?

- Four.

(exhales loudly)

- These will get you the part.

- Thanks, man.

- Look inside.

Always gotta look inside.

- I remember that.

Thanks, man.

- [Casting Woman] Johnny Chance?

- [Johnny] Uh, it's Bandini, actually.

John Bandini.

(soft footsteps)

- Hello, Stuart.

- [Stuart] Hey there, Johnny.

Where is your motorcycle?

- (chuckles) I left it at home.

It's not really, uh, working.

So, um, you want me to do this?

(pensive music)

(engine rumbling)

- That's fine, Johnny.

That's fine.

You have all this passion.

You just don't know what
the hell to do with it.

You're pretty good, you know?

We're going to have to cut your hair.

- (chuckles) Thanks, Stuart.

(soft footsteps)

- (giggles) Come in.

(laughs loudly)

- Edward, how did you, uh--

- Where there's a will, there's a way.

How'd it go?

- I drove my motorcycle
around this guy's set,

and he wants to be my best friend.

- You only got one of those.

Get on.

- You want me to get on the bike?

- Yeah, I want you to get on the bike.

- You want me on the bike?

- I want you to get on the bike.

Just get on.

- All right.

- Just get on.

- I'll get on the bike.

Where are we going?

(engine rumbling)

(laughs loudly)

- We're going to do a
tour of the movie studio.

(engine rumbling)

(pensive music)

- [Edward] Johnny and I were
well-versed in the ability

to learn the truths in life
by repeating our mistakes

over and over until they were so ingrained

in our character that we
would only have to repeat

the mistake maybe four or five more times

until we reached total and
complete understanding.

But together we'd walk a hundred miles,

tearing up our shoes,
looking for that icon

to pull us away from our own mortality.

Every once in a while, we find it,

for a moment.

(pensive music)

(pensive music)