En nolla för mycket (1962) - full transcript

Warehouse assistant Pontus Blom accidentally get a zero to many printed in the tax calendar. This will change his life completely.

Digitally restored by the
Swedish Film Institute in 2020.

This is the nation's largest city,
the origin of its cultural lineage.

A bathing queen, pretty,
admiring her mirror image.

Here are the victims of sanitation
but also the center of deliberation,

by, hopefully,
learned minds and geniuses,

who will teach us what is beautiful and
ugly for the benefit of our well-being.

But alas, here dwell also three Norns,

modern daughters from times of yore,

who have changed the cobwebs
of the past for sexier panties

and now with female whims
pull on our fate's strings.

So anything may happen yet.
A Norn can turn everything on its head.



So please climb the castle Three Norn...
Three Crowns, I'm sorry.

For up here, begins our story.

Will they win by 3-1 or 3-0?

3-1, and I'll borrow the zero.
Throw it here.

NO PARKING
FOR BIKES AND MOPEDS

THE ART OF BEING HAPPY

IRON AND METAL
WAREHOUSE

Do you have to run up and down the stairs
when I'm scrubbing the floor?

-No, I'm sorry.
-Don't make it dirty!

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Vickström!
-Good morning, boss!

Yes, boss.

-Johansson!
-Yes, boss.

Will do, sir.



Got it, sir.

-Morning.
-Morning.

-Blom?
-Yes, boss.

Bosse...

-And hurry up.
-Alright, I'll get it.

KIDDY VÄSTERLUND
MODEL AGENCY

-He's adorable!
-Anyone know when we're finished today?

Girls, remember what I said,
they have to be in the tax directory.

Anna dear, please take that.

If it's the Ladies' Journal calling,
I'll send my love column at eleven.

Hello?

-Hi!
-Dear Lillan, you're late!

-You have a show at nine.
-I know.

-Lillan, it's Pontus Blom.
-What? Tell him that I...

That I am...

-She left.
-Yes!

I see. Could you tell her
that I have tickets for the movies?

Is that so? Alright.

Thank you very much.

Pontus is no man for a girl like you.

He does have his own two-bedroom
apartment, but he lives on his salary.

My dear girl, you need to swing
your arm like this.

Let me tell you, a man's second marriage
is always happier and more harmonious.

And generally, the best men are those
who come back onto the market at 30-45.

They're so sweet! But make sure
that their papers are in order.

You have to lose weight, Anna.
I hope you've made sure.

-About losing weight?
-That the papers are in order.

I trust Nils-Erik. He knows that no one
takes care of his bile as well as I do.

Bless you!

I hope you get the stable and wealthy...
I mean healthy man you deserve.

"Dear Seventeen years old,

what does money matter anyway?
Love conquers all."

Oh, it's gorgeous!

-Fourteen meters...
-That will do.

-Fifteen, and sixteen...
-It's enough!

-It's enough!
-Sixteen meters?

-Should we wrap it?
-No, thank you.

-Will you take over here?
-Sure. What can I do for you?

-You don't have a thinner one of these?
-No, it's the thinnest one.

-Give me seven and a half meters.
-Right!

Bosse, can you give me a hand?

Just a moment. He will help you...

-Bosse, call on line three.
-Alright.

I only need seven and a half meters!

Don't get it all tangled up now!

-Perhaps I can come back.
-Thank you.

No, wait! It will be ready soon.
Any minute now.

Did you say seven and a half?

Hello? Blom?

Blom?

-Where are you?
-I'm here.

-Where do we put these boxes?
-In the hallway outside.

-Is Lisa with you?
-Yes. It's her birthday, by the way.

I know. I have a surprise for her.
Let me show you.

-Do you think she'll like it?
-Of course!

-It's charming.
-It is, isn't it?

Lisa, hello!

Happy birthday! Do you like the model?
I have flowers for you as well.

Lisa! Does he push you too hard?

Come again? He does? Have some sugar.

I need your doodle on this one!

How is the book business? Have you
made enough to buy your own horse?

Not anytime soon.

But a new book just arrived.
Who Knows What?

-What? Which one?
-It's your kind of book.

But I bought that book about the horse.
What do I want that for?

Sign here and I'll give it to you.
They complement each other.

One has to be well-read.
For crossword puzzles and whatnot.

Yes, of course. But about that horse book.
What do I want with that, when I have...

I have another book. It's a must
for you, rocket scientists, and the like.

-No!
-I'll get it for you...

No, that won't work. This way...

This is... This is an attack!

Tell Blom I want to speak to him.
What a damn mess!

Hello, warehouse manager Blom's
residence, the banquet hall.

Oh, it's you! Good thing you called.

I need a layout for the fruit thingy.

I'm going to Copenhagen any day now.

They don't tell you the exact date
when you scrounge free plane tickets.

They just bring you
when the winds are fair. Sure.

That's right! So long, then.

-You're a very busy man.
-Yes, I am. Advertising is hell.

Hey, this whisky is splendid.
It's the cat's meow!

Is that so? Well, it needs a nap.

-Won't you have a drop?
-No, thank you.

Did you know that today marks
exactly one year since you moved in?

Is that right?

And yesterday marked eight months
since you paid the rent.

It's amazing how time flies!

Where are you going? Will there be broads?

-One broad is enough for me.
-I'm sorry.

-Is it still Lillan?
-Yes.

-And what are the plans this evening?
-The movies.

-And after that?
-I'll let her decide.

Of course! Bye-bye.

Hello, Rulle Överlund speaking. What?

Oh, hello, my beautiful!

What's that? Oh, SK186
for Copenhagen at 08:35 pm.

Alright. And I'll pick up
my free tickets from you? Okeydokey.

Okeydokey... So 8:35 for Copenhagen.

Lillan... Your Pontus is here
with his fancy wheels.

But I'm going to Operakällaren
with Björklund.

The managing director? You can't blow
a chance like that for a man on a moped!

-There's no future in a moped.
-If only he wasn't so kind.

Never mind kind, let's be realistic.
You have to come up with an excuse.

-On a moment's notice? Why is he so early?
-This is what we'll do...

-Hello. Come on in.
-Thank you.

Hello.

Hi there. We have movie plans,
but I'm a bit early...

I'm so sorry, but something came up.
The thing is that...

Anna is getting married,
so the girls are having a send-off party.

-That's great!
-It is?

The tickets
for seven o'clock were sold out,

so I got tickets
for the three o'clock screening.

-Good day, then.
-Good day.

-You had mail.
-Thank you.

So Anna is getting married?
That means her room will be vacant.

-It's already taken by Eva Schmidt.
-The singer?

You call that singing?

Bye-bye!

Do you need a chain
for this piece of junk?

-Can I help you with your list, miss?
-I think I've found them all.

Haven't we met before?
In a magazine or so?

-It's possible, I don't know.
-No?

-Modeling new dresses, are we?
-No, I'm going to look at a room.

All the hotels are fully booked.

I think I can help you.

-Up two flights of stairs.
-Thank you.

Mr. Överlund, welcome!

-Please come in.
-Thank you. - Go on in.

Grace is waiting for you.

Madame, more charming than ever.

-May I introduce...
-Eva Schmidt.

-Västerlund.
-One of our most elegant writers.

I'm sure you read Kiddy's love column
in the Ladies' Journal? Magnificent!

-You're pulling my leg!
-No, I'm certainly not.

Let's have a look at the room.

Cupid's own PR woman.
She takes care of the "rellies."

-What?
-Relationships, I mean. Support.

I see! I think I have to...

Anna is moving out today.
She's getting married.

Between you and me,
he is a very good match.

Anna, dear?
She has really found Mr. Right.

Eva Schmidt!

Come on already!

Enter.

Oh, it's you!

My love, I have to see you one last time.

But you're wounded. Should I...?

It's nothing! Only the one arm.

-Kiss me!
-I'm going to miss you.

I will miss you too.

-Hush, what was that?
-They're here!

The bastards!

An amazing drama in an amazing setting,

shot on location in vivid colors.

Love, suspense, adventure!

"The Lovers in the Night,"
coming to this theater.

Hiya!

On a sweet April day
Desire blends with memory

And "then" with "now"

I don't know if I want to stay
Or if I want to flee

Tell me, where are you?

On this square we saw each other

But that was very long ago

I saw you now among a thousand others

We will meet again, I know

Long ago, another town stood here

Where we met, and I was full of cheer

By the old Sergel building
In the pale light of spring

We walked so quietly, my dear

I recall the clattering of a horse
That passed

And a coachman singing
In his workman's vest

A yard, a roof, a loft
Your cheek on mine so soft

Of all worlds, ours was the best

How can I find my memories?

My old town a sad and dusty site

I wander aimlessly like the breeze

Among the towers bright

And the flickering lights

I'm looking for the things that once were

In the town that is no longer there

The beauty I recall

Is it anywhere at all?

My heart won't tell me where

And suddenly I see you in the crowd

It's another woman that you look upon

Beneath another sky, without a cloud

Once that was how
We almost became one

In another town, we once walked here

So long ago and I was full of cheer

The beauty I recall,
If it's anywhere at all

My heart can tell me where

A town long gone and you

It's all that's left of what I knew

In the heart of the town

It's still true

And now he's well again
and has returned to his wife!

Flowers... "See you sometime. Nils-Erik."

What a scoundrel! - Did you hear that?
He's returned to his wife.

Have they no morals?

Don't cry, Anna dear.
We'll find another, much better one!

One who is slightly unwell,
so he'll need me.

Yes, count on me.

You can't trust men
who are getting divorced.

What a shame, but as soon as I have
a free room I will let you know.

-I have your address.
-Please do.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

It's decided, then.
I'll be in Copenhagen for a month or so.

My place is in a splendid location.
Wonderful view, peace and quiet...

-You can move in tonight.
-Oh, I'll stay at the hotel for tonight.

-It was awfully nice of you, Mr...
-Överlund. Rurik Överlund.

-"Rulle".
-Rulle?

Let's say an even hundred kronor.

The address is Thulegatan 5.
It says "Blom" on the door.

-Here are the keys.
-Thank you. Have a nice trip.

Girls, girls, girls!

I have a wonderful article here!
Please move, my dear.

Don't be sad, Anna.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Look, what a handsome face.

-Don't you think?
-That one is much cuter!

-How about that one?
-An up-and-coming...

-...businessman.
-Oh, he's so sweet. What a kissable mouth!

-He seems familiar.
-Don't you see, it's...

-It's Pontus!
-Oh, yes!

-210,000 a year?
-He never seemed rich.

-I don't think so either.
-Well, some rich people don't.

The properly rich ones.

-Hi...
-Hi!

Lillan! Congratulations!

It's wonderful that you and Pontus
are so fond of each other.

-Fond?
-Didn't you see him in the paper?

210,000?

Oh, my!

Oh, it's the door?

-What?
-A telegram for Pontus Blom.

Thanks.

"Darling, I'm sorry about my mood
last time. I have to see you tonight..."

Lillan?!

Life has value again!

Rulle? I've become a Casanova!
The girls' Alfred!

Why, if it isn't Mr. Blom!

Wait, I'll wipe the floor,
so that you don't get your feet wet.

You can go now.
Take care not to get your feet wet.

It really is Pontus!

Something very interesting, I see.
Good morning.

Good morning, sir.

Sir, have you read this?

What the...? 210,000?

-Ask Mr. Blom to come see me right away.
-Certainly.

You wouldn't believe how busy we are.

Warehouse.

The boss is asking for Mr. Blom.
Thank you.

-Blom... The boss wants to see you.
-Me?

Oh, goodness! Well...

-I'll go up then.
-What do you want me to do?

Why don't you serve the customers?

Are you in a great hurry?

-You can enter now, sir.
-Thank you, miss.

Hi there!

What does one do with a warehouse
assistant who earns 210,000 kronor a year?

Well...

If you have no use for him,
I could take him.

-The boss...
-He's busy now, but I'll ask.

-No hurry, I'll come back.
-No, Mr. Blom. Why the rush?

You sell books, don't you?

I do, but you've never considered
buying one.

Can't people change?

Sir, Mr. Blom is here now.

Good. Just let him in.

-Can I enter?
-Sure.

Come on in!

-Good morning, Mr. Blom!
-Good morning.

-I'm sorry about what happened yesterday.
-Oh, it was nothing!

That's not why you're here.

Well, what do you know!

Georg, let me introduce
one the pillars of the company.

-Mr. Blom, director Berg.
-Pleased to meet you.

I hear you do great business
selling books.

-I've had the director's approval.
-That's right!

Tell me, how do you do it?

How I do it? I buy and sell.
Well, mostly sell.

-Brilliant!
-Yes, I'll say!

Please have a seat in the visitors' chair.

-A cigarette? Or a perhaps a cigar?
-Thank you.

Here you go.

So, Mr. Blom...

As you know,
old Mortenson retired this fall.

I haven't found a suitable successor.

You know the business
and understand money.

Would you like the position?

-As purchasing manager?
-You'll have more powers than he had.

Fringe benefits and so on.

-I'm Fredrik, by the way.
-Pontus.

Thank you!
Think the matter over, will you?

Go for a sunny spring walk,
and I'll see you on Monday.

-So how about the third and fifth races?
-Well...

Sweet Lady and Margeaux
are both favorites in the third.

Little John will win the third race,

and in the fifth no one beats Zorro.

-So you're a betting man?
-Never.

-Good for you.
-But I do know the horses.

-Hi, Pontus!
-Hi.

I'm not here! There's no one here.

Call back on Monday. There's no one here.

Pontus!

Hey, Pontus... What did the boss say?

Was he angry?

-Was he nice?
-No.

So you're fired after all?

-I'm sorry, I'm looking for Mr. Blom.
-Mister Blom just left that way.

Did he? Thank you.

-Mr. Blom? Hello, Mr. Blom!
-What?

How do you do?
I'm Svensing. Pleased to meet you.

I would just like a moment
of your time, sir.

I have something in the square,
just newly arrived. If I may show you?

This way.

-What do you say?
-My, what a fine car!

-Yes, it would be perfect for you.
-No, I've never considered...

No, one can't consider everything.

But we thought that you might
be able to help us out

by trying it out for a few days.

-But please, Mr. Svenson... sing.
-Yes, Svensing.

I insist that you try it out.

Get in and try it. The front seat.

-Here?
-That's right.

As comfortable as it gets, right?
Ergonomic!

This is the wheel. Wheelonomic!
You start it with the key there.

-Startonomic as well?
-Indeed! Startonomic...

The gear is automatic.
We have direct injection, choke,

lights, built-in radio...
But no elevator or television, of course.

-So not elevanomic?
-That's right!

-No, there's no point...
-You can't decide today? I understand!

But let's do the following:
Try it out for two weeks,

and we'll give you a phone call
to ask how it's been.

Good luck. It's a wonderful wagon!

-Good morning!
-No, wait...!

-Hey, you putting down roots in that spot?
-No, I'll move...

Get a move on!

-Grab anything from that sack. It's waste.
-I'll take it all.

On your moped?

You're welcome to try!

Did you hurt yourself?

What? Barbed wire?

-Don't forget to say hello properly!
-Hello, Sergeant!

-He's hurt himself.
-Nothing serious.

-No, he told me.
-What? He told you?

Good thing
you're not on the track tomorrow.

What's that? You would have lost anyway?
This is on the purchasing manager.

I'll break it...

Did you hear that?
They've made me purchasing manager,

then they give me a fancy car,
and tonight I'm going out with Lillan.

Life has its highs and lows

What else is there to know?

Little children
Have sand in their hair and cry

Soon they will expire

But life is sinful

And fun, too

Like a murderer's knife - it is blue!

-What a nice time we're having.
-Places with music are nice.

-It makes you so exhilarated.
-Yes. We're really kicking our heels up.

Cheers.

Closeness, if we are talking about a man

Closeness
Nothing stirs the feelings more than

Closeness, it says more than any poem

And "I love you,"
"Ich liebe dich," "Je t'aime"

Closeness, with almost nothing in between

Closeness, and let silence set the scene

Closeness, enter a quiet ecstasy

And let those worn-out words be

Love by telephone or by post

Well, I guess it's OK

But if I'm to thaw your ice and your frost

There is only one way

Closeness, give me contact all around

Closeness, and when my guard is down

Closeness

When I can't tell reason apart
From the madness of my heart

And all I know is

You fill me up with fire

It's the theme of life

Closeness

An armful of roses with flattering words

Strewn at my feet

Champagne, banquets

And all the compliments I've heard

Are not half as sweet

Closeness, it's a kiss in an embrace

Closeness, quietly whispering a name

Closeness

It's a taste of paradise
And it's not hard to realize

Why I chose this

There's no more to speak of

It's the essence of love

Closeness

Closeness

-I think it's time for bed soon.
-No, it's too early.

-Weren't we going to see my apartment?
-Oh, that's right...

-Will you get me a cup of coffee?
-Yes.

-Late tomorrow morning?
-Oh, you mean then...

-What else?
-No, I respect you very much, Lillan.

-Thank you for a lovely evening.
-The pleasure is all mine.

Why did you write "darling"
in the telegram?

-I like you, Pontus.
-But you don't want to go home with me.

-What do you take me for?
-I'm sorry.

I wouldn't go to a man's apartment.
Not even yours.

-We're not even engaged.
-Engaged?

You mean you'd want to get engaged to me?

Here on the steps?

You'll buy me coffee tomorrow? Goodnight.

You party animal,
are you washing your sinful body?

It's none of my business, but who was
the bird who was here last night?

Her perfume is very strong.
Don't think I didn't notice!

I met one of those vampires last night,
at Coq d'Or.

She had the same smell.
She's was very pretty.

It was as if she had risen
from the land of sin and frivolity!

Rulle? Are you there?

Rulle?

Eva Schmidt...

Closeness, if we are talking about a man

Closeness
Nothing stirs the feelings more than

-What are you doing here?
-Me?

-Staying.
-You've got the wrong place!

-But I slept here last night.
-In here?

-No, in that room.
-In Rulle's room?

His personal life is none of my business,
but there are limits!

You just stand here brazenly...
making coffee.

-That's right. Anything else?
-Put some clothes on and get out!

-That way, out!
-I'm staying.

Staying? No way.

-But I've just rented this nice room...
-Who are you renting it from?

-From Pontus Blom.
-Tell this Pontus Blom that this is...

-Pontus Blom?
-You know him?

-A little.
-I only know his friend, Rulle Överlund.

He's gone away and let me rent his room.
Some coffee?

No, I don't drink coffee.

He let me rent it for practically nothing
and use the kitchen as much as I want to.

-He said Mr. Bloom would be pleased.
-He is.

Apparently
he's a very timid and reserved man.

Yes, normally. Pontus Bloom is normally
very timid, reserved and tolerant.

-But now I want to tell you, Miss...
-Schmidt.

Yes, Eva Schmidt. I remember.
But guess who's standing in front of you.

It's Pontus Blom.
Lars Åke Rolf Pontus Blom, that's me!

-It's not possible.
-Why?

I heard you in the bathroom.
You're hardly timid and reserved.

Did I say...? I apologize.

-You'll get your money back and leave.
-It's only for a month!

-I want you out as soon as you're dressed.
-I've paid, and I have a receipt.

-What's that?
-The doorbell, it seems.

-What time is it?
-Only half past nine.

-It's her!
-Are you expecting a guest?

-Yes, a lady.
-I see...

No, you don't!
She's no ordinary lady. She's a lady.

Please help me. Hide in that room.
Don't make a sound!

But I sneeze so very easily!

Not here! Go to your room.

I'm coming! Just a minute.

Please wait. I'm on my way.
Here I come!

-Come in.
-Hello, Pontus!

-Are you not dressed yet?
-No. Could you wait in the park?

-But I'm here to see the apartment.
-You can see it from there.

This is really nice. A lot of space.

-But put away that awful horse!
-We haven't had time to clean.

-But if there was a woman here...
-What?

It makes a home very different.
You can see traces of her right away.

-What traces?
-What a lovely bathroom.

-Is that the kitchen?
-Yes. There are two doors.

-And you have a stove!
-That's right.

-And a washing machine!
-No, that's a fridge. They look the same.

-Why do you wear that ugly scarf?
-I have a cough.

-A thin scarf like that won't help.
-It's a very mild cough.

-You made coffee, I see.
-No... Yes, I did!

-You've already had some.
-No... Yes, I had some coffee.

Have a seat! I'll pour you some coffee.

So you can have a spot of coffee.
Coffee isn't bad.

Taste the coffee. It's not bad.

-Try to sneak out, Miss Schmidt.
-I can't, because I'm stark naked!

I'll bring the coffee out here.

-Is that your room?
-No, mine is that one?

-Where does that door lead?
-Which one? That's Rulle's room.

Rulle Överlund's.
Have you seen the wonderful view?

It's best seen from here.
The street outside.

-The street...
-Yes, lovely.

-Won't you get dressed now?
-You stay in here and have some coffee.

No! Pontus!

What is this?

Rulle? No, it's not Rulle.

-I'm innocent.
-I can see that.

-I've never...!
-Listen to me.

It was just a temporary acquaintance.

Let me tell you, Pontus... Ugh!

Lillan, listen to me!

I bet you're happy
now that young love is shattered.

Do we want fried or poached eggs?

-What?
-I thought we'd have breakfast together.

Listen here, young lady!
We won't do anything together.

You never know.

-More shrimp omelet?
-Yes, please.

-Did you like it?
-Yes. I didn't think people like you...

That vampires could cook.
Two good things can go together.

-I'm actually pretty good at housework.
-So the man-eating is just a hobby?

It's a matter of hormones, isn't it?
Hasn't your fiancée told you about that?

If you insist on calling my fiancée
my fiancée... She's not my fiancée yet.

I haven't proposed yet, and after this
morning she won't forgive me in a hurry.

-I'm very sorry.
-No, you're not.

-I know just how you feel.
-No, you don't.

-It's for me. I've ordered a call.
-A call?

-They'll let me know the price.
-I see.

Hello? Is that you, Auntie?

Did Billy return? He didn't?

Since Thursday?

I'm sure he'll return. Yes.

Of course I'm sad.

I'll call later, then. Goodbye, Auntie.

-I couldn't help but overhear.
-I don't mind.

-So you have problems too?
-He's been gone for three days.

-Without leaving a message?
-Message?

-Oh, that's right. You don't know Billy.
-No, I don't.

-He's so selfish!
-Why don't you break up with him?

I'm really all Billy has, and he
usually comes back after his excursions.

But let's not talk
about my petty troubles.

You know what I'll do? I'll go
to your fiancée and explain everything.

-Would you really do that?
-I would.

-They're calling about the price.
-Bye-bye.

-Hello?
-This is Rulle in Copenhagen.

Just splendid. Everything's alright.

Listen, if you find a broad in my bed,
don't be alarmed.

I found her in the shower!

No, I don't want any more...
Eva is enough. I mean Lillan.

But I don't know if she's still mine.

Goodbye!

Please,
he was just as shocked as you were.

-Was he now?
-I thought Rulle had told him.

Phone call for Lillan.

-Who is it?
-No one. Was that Miss Schmidt?

Yes. When she didn't get the room here,
Rulle offered her his room,

without telling Pontus.

You and that Rulle
almost caused a disaster!

-I'm so sorry.
-No harm done.

But Lillan is in love and almost engaged
with such a fine young man.

-Of course...
-Are you engaged, miss?

Me? No, not yet.

-But I have my Billy.
-I'm happy to hear it.

Don't worry, Lillan.
Miss Schmidt is almost engaged - to Billy.

Säterjäntan is already in the lead,
two lengths ahead of Miss Dolly.

Calm down and focus on the next race.

And you run fast now!
Yes, I know how you feel.

Run fast, focus, and win. You understand?

That's four wins. Only the fifth one left.

Start off carefully.

-Mr. Blom, you have an interest in horses?
-I help out in the stables.

Any tips for the next race?

I don't know anything,
but the winner will be Zorro.

Zorro to win, number 4.

And the same one again.

Blue Master and Ruter Tweed in the lead.

Splendid, I've bet on both.

Can you see Zorro? The dark one.

Blue Master is still in the lead, one
length ahead of Ruter Tweed and Darbanja.

Zorro is coming up on the outside.

-Zorro is looking good!
-Zorro?

Zorro passes Ruter Tweed and is now
neck and neck with Blue Master.

Zorro!

He's winning!

That ruined my wager!

-Didn't you hedge with Zorro?
-No, who would do that?

I, for one.

Blom did tip us off.

-Old pal, thank you for Zorro!
-How much will it pay?

-A hundred thousand?
-Don't be silly.

Two correct multi-race wagers
pay 165,748 kronor each.

Blom, old pal!

I'll be darned!

-I'll be darned!
-Indeed.

Well...

Dear friends, don't thank me for this
drink. Thank director Pontus Blom.

The Zorro of today's business world.

Fredrik and I both got the tip,
but I was wise enough to use it.

Thank you. - Cheers for him!

-Pontus, please allow me...
-No, I don't want anything.

I know that you don't need it,
and perhaps I'm being silly,

but you have to accept it.
One mustn't neglect Lady Luck.

Take it, for Christ's sake,
or Georg's luck will run out.

Burn it if you want to,
as long as you accept it.

There you go. Thank you!

-Cheers, Pontus.
-Georg, where does one get tips like that?

Well, you see...

Cheers, Mr. Blom and welcome
to the Horse Racing Society.

-Cheers, thank you.
-Cheers.

-Our sport needs all the help it can get.
-I try to help in my own way.

-You have your own horses, I assume?
-No, not yet.

Buying a horse is easy, but then
you need a stable and a trainer.

-I still want a horse one day.
-Yes, us dog lovers can't help it.

-Horse lovers.
-Of course.

-It's for life. Right, Tärnström?
-Yes, indeed. Why not?

We might be able to do you a favor.

How about becoming a joint owner
of one of the world's finest stallions?

Did you hear about the import
from Russia this fall?

-His first race is on Sunday.
-That's hundreds of thousands of kronor...

No, no cash.

You'll register as guarantor
for a third, let's say.

A third? That's nothing for Mr. Blom.

The rest is taken.

-Where is the horse?
-It's being trained privately.

We don't show it to just anyone,
but we could look at it tomorrow.

-Here it is.
-This way.

-Hello.
-Hello!

-I've become a horse owner.
-You have?

-It must have cost a fortune.
-I'm just guarantor for part of it.

-It's gorgeous. Look at this nice...
-And it's really nice in here!

I had to wash up. It looked like
a whole regiment had marched through.

-Did you speak to Lillan?
-Yes, I explained everything.

-Thank you so much, Miss...
-My name is Eva, Pontus.

Right. I'm Pontus. Thank you, Miss E...
Thanks, Eva.

-So, when are you getting married?
-I still haven't asked her.

You haven't?
Well, you'll get the opportunity now.

-How so?
-Lillan is coming over.

I told her you had
something very important to talk about.

-Tonight?
-You shouldn't let these things wait.

-Well, you would know.
-What is that supposed to mean?

Being such a handsome woman,
you must have had plenty of suitors.

Thanks for the compliment,
but you're proposing to Lillan, not me.

-Hey, I've got it!
-What are you doing?

Decorating.

It makes such a difference.
A suitor has to make sure

that the mood is romantic.

The sun is going down, violins playing...

-Tell me exactly how you feel.
-About you?

About Lillan. I'll be her.

You had something important to tell me?

I see, you're playing the part of Lillan!

-"You are the most wonderful..."
-Wait.

You are the most wonderful thing I know.
This feels stupid.

-"You're my best friend."
-What...?

-Don't you read romantic novels?
-Yes, but I don't memorize them.

You are my waking night.
You are my restful days.

For me, you are everywhere.

-Around me and inside me.
-That was beautiful.

You're like the wind
whistling in the night.

You're the ticking clock,
the rumble of the subway.

You know, I feel so safe with you.

-Because I'm so stout, I suppose.
-No!

Behind that stoutness,
there is something

that maybe only I have discovered.

-Why do you say that?
-Because I think that's what she will say.

-Is it really that simple?
-Of course.

-What do I do after that?
-She'll take care of the rest.

-It's probably her.
-It could very well be.

-You'd better leave.
-Yes, it's better for us all.

Hello, Pontus. I was silly this morning.

Yes... I mean no. Come in.

-But I was silly this morning.
-No, come on in.

-But I was very silly this morning.
-Not too bad.

-So you've forgiven me?
-I'm just happy you're here.

Step into my room.

-What a nice place.
-Sit down, make yourself comfortable.

What was the important thing
you wanted to tell me?

-You're the most wonderful thing I know.
-Really?

I bought this dress on sale.

-You are my waking nights.
-I am?

I've also had a hard time sleeping.

Do you feel safe with me?

Sure, kind of...

But you need a new bed.
It's so uncomfortable.

You're my everything.
You're around me, inside me.

Speaking of that, I'm thirsty.

I'll get something to drink. That helps.

Do you need all these books, darling?

-I've read them all.
-Throw them away, then.

You could put
so many other things in here.

Let's not stand here and grow moldy.
Let's paint the town red!

Paint the town red...

You won't fool me!

I have years of experience
with your galvanizations.

Let's say two-eighty,
and thirty percent off.

I see. Well, do as you please.

-Miss Svensson!
-Yes?

-What's your intercom number?
-31.

Thank you, miss.

-Miss Svensson.
-Yes, this is Miss Svensson.

-Please come and help me.
-I'm coming.

You may enter.

Please help me clear away
all these brochures from the salesmen.

They've gone mad.
They must think I'm a millionaire.

-A millionaire? That was funny.
-Was it now?

I'm off for a meeting,
and we'll see what happens later.

-Pontus!
-Yes, boss! Fredrik, I mean.

They're calling to complain
that you drive a hard bargain.

Well done! Stand your ground!

-Well?
-Still hopeless.

Letting this one race on Sunday
would be a waste of the entry fee.

-What does the vet say?
-Nothing wrong.

He's in top form. Everything you wanted.

But he lacks motivation.
That one could outrun him.

-So what's to be done, Olsson?
-Sell the poor creature.

Look, here's someone
who wants to be a horse owner.

Here we are. And that's Tsar Peter.

Mr. Blom... Look at that!

What a temper!

-Can I give you a hand?
-Thank you.

You don't like showers?

It's unpleasant, but you have to get used
to it. It feels great afterwards.

Thanks for the help.

Well, what do you say?

I've never seen such a beautiful horse.

So it's a deal. The Tsar is yours, Pontus!

Thank you!

-Now you just need to sign. Here you go.
-How about the others?

They're not needed
when you're signing, Mr. Blom.

They're not?

I see! Sure, it's a lot simpler this way.

Exactly!

There you are!

-Is it done?
-It's all done.

You can congratulate Blom on his purchase.

-I still have to pay for it.
-With an income like yours...!

-I did get a raise, but...
-You're too modest!

The books are selling well.

We've all read the tax directory.

-See you later!
-Have a look in the paper.

See you! Bye-bye.

You can't be serious, Auntie.

He attacked a policeman?!

No... But he's always so friendly.

Yes. Is he sleeping now?

It's Auntie. - Yes.

I'll bring him to Stockholm instead.

Is that better? Great.
I'll call another day. Goodbye.

-Why don't you break up with Billy?
-You don't know him.

No, I don't. Have you seen this?

-What about it?
-It's me.

-Yes, I saw it at Lillan's.
-At Lillan's?!

-So she thinks I make a fortune, too!
-Don't you?

Not a penny. Only my salary
and a few thousand for the books.

-But the tax directory doesn't lie.
-There's a zero too many.

-A zero too...?
-210,000. It should be 21,000.

That's hilarious! And you didn't know.

I thought it was strange when the car
salesman showed up, the agents, my boss,

and the horse guys...

Lillan! What if she thinks...
What should I tell her?

-Tell her everything.
-I don't dare to.

-Sure you do.
-No. She might break up with me.

No, Pontus.

True love doesn't care about money.

Do you think Lillan,
me, and true love can be...?

-Of course I do. Just tell her.
-Yes, I'll have to.

Lillan, there has been a terrible mistake.
I have no money.

I'm broke. Do you still want me?

"Sooner or later the wealthy man will want
to put his sweetheart to the test.

He tells her that he's lost all his money.
This moment is a test of love,

and genuine love knows only one answer."
What is that, Grace?

You'll have to find another guy.

No, he didn't lose the dough.
He just said he did.

Answer the door, Lillan.
You're quite right, Anna.

No, genuine love knows only one answer:

"My love, money means nothing.
We still have each other."

Pontus?!

I have to explain
something very important.

There has been a terrible mistake.
I have no money.

-You don't say...
-I have no money.

My love, money means nothing.
We still have each other.

Darling, disappointment is a part
of life. We don't get everything we want.

Some women are simply...

Pontus, you'll need this. Cheers.

Cheers.

Oh, my!

-You always know what's to come.
-I know how you feel.

I'm happy to hear it.

-Disappointment is a part of life.
-That's very true.

Some women are simply like that...

Yes, they only want to marry money.

-But Lillan is wonderful!
-What?

It was just like you said.
She answered right away:

"My love,
there's more to life than money."

She did? Excuse me...

-I'll have some more.
-Sure. Drink and be merry!

-I'm very happy.
-No, you're sad. Has Billy been mean?

No... Did she really say that?

She sure did,
and soon the wedding bells will chime!

Let's hope
the bell ringer won't be poisoned.

Poisoned!

Hey, what is your opinion
on shared bedrooms?

-What? Sharing?
-Yes.

At first you need to share the bedroom,
of course,

but after the first child it's debatable.

Yes, you can discuss it again.

Do you like this oriental rug?

No, wall-to-wall carpeting is better.
It looks great!

-Yes!
-Cheers.

-A brown one, right?
-No, moss green is much nicer.

-And nice curtains.
-And wallpaper on every wall.

-Wonderful!
-And a wide, modern bed with space for...

Yes, and then we'll...

I need to go to work.

Yes, you do.

It's a shame that you can't stay.

I was so happy it all went well...

You finish the champagne.
It's the happiest day of your life.

Yes, that's right. I'm so happy.

Am I really that happy?

Maybe I'm not happy. Maybe I'm unhappy.

No, I'm happy.

Yes, I am.

Cheers, Pontus. You're happy today.

-What is with you? Where are we going?
-Don't worry. It's a surprise.

-Have you bought something?
-You could say that.

-Was it expensive?
-I don't know. I only signed for it.

-Tell me, is it a tiny little thing?
-No, larger that you can imagine!

-Is it for me?
-For the two of us.

-Did you buy a farm?
-Don't be silly!

-It smells of horses.
-It does.

-And there's a horse over there.
-Yes, both of them are horses.

Come on.

I don't know...

-He's ours!
-What?

Come and pet him. He won't hurt you.

-But I hate horses more than anything.
-Are you joking?

-No, they bite and kick!
-They never bite kind people.

They'll bite me, maybe... No, it's coming!

Oh, Lillan...

Thanks for the ride.
You don't have to wait for me.

A new home needs so many things,
but you buy a horse!

Hello. I had to come and look.

-Where is it?
-That one.

Oh my goodness, what a gorgeous horse!

Such a lovely horsey!

You must be overjoyed, Lillan.

Lillan, I'll be right there.

Are you going into town? Can you take me?

-She says she hates horses.
-Maybe she's not used to them.

-Maybe she doesn't like children either.
-Didn't you ask her?

Are you grumpy, boy?

That's the thing...
Don't you recognize me today either?

You and I have to become friends.
I've been longing for this day.

He doesn't like either one of us.
But does he run well?

-His times are amazing!
-They were, Mr. Blom.

-Hello. Why did you buy this one?
-I'm only the guarantor.

No, you've taken over Ekeroth's contract.
So you will take the entire blow.

-What blow?
-The Tiger Sharks imported it.

It's all that's left
of the Broberg affair.

-I don't know any tiger sharks.
-I'm sure you'll hear from them.

Mr. Blom, this is the finest horse
I've ever seen. The vet said so too.

-But he's hopeless.
-I don't understand...

He refuses to gallop.

All horses have to get acclimatized first.
You know, microflora...

True, but he's been this way
for six months.

I spoke to the last trainer.

There's not a single hidden fault,
but he's completely hopeless.

If he races on Sunday,
it will be a great fiasco.

So you've tricked me, have you?

No, you wouldn't do that.
Won't you say something?

What? He won't talk to you either?

Well, there's nothing we can do.

-Should you really race him on Sunday?
-We've already entered him.

-Where did Lillan go?
-You mean that blond crumpet?

-She left with the guy in the sports car.
-She left?

-Yes?
-Are you very sad, Pontus?

Yes, everything was going so well,
and then suddenly...

I understand.

You're alone all your life,
and then your dreams come true...

-It could all still work out.
-Work out?

No, I found someone who has it all,

beauty, breed, and everything,
and it's still...

-I'm sorry, it's my fault.
-Your fault?

-I shouldn't have come to the stable.
-I'm glad you came to visit.

-But that's what caused the whole thing.
-You've lost me completely!

It's not your fault
that the stallion is crazy.

I'm talking about Lillan!

-Lillan? I was talking about the stallion.
-The stallion?

You're despicable, Pontus!

Hey... I'm a complete imbecile.

-Because you bought the stallion?
-No.

-Eva, do you like...
-Horses, yes.

No, I mean birds and bees...

-Do you feel safe here with me?
-No!

I feel so anxious,
silly, miserably, and pathetic.

Eva, wait...

No, never mind. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Calm down, little Lillan.
Nothing has happened.

You should have heard her!

"You must be overjoyed!"

-I could have clawed her eyes out.
-And you ran away, of course.

-Yes...
-Remember what I always say.

Let the men have their fun
until the bells chime.

My second husband, for instance.
He was an angler.

I told him he had to choose
between me and the fish.

A win-win for everyone, except the fish.

-Pontus is here.
-Is he?

-I don't want him to see me like this.
-I'll deal with him.

-Did you tell him that Lillan is here?
-No, I wasn't born yesterday.

-How do you do, Mr. Blom?
-I'd like to talk to Lillan.

I'm sorry, she's not here yet.
Perhaps I could...?

-No, this is personal.
-I understand.

Please have a seat. She'll be here soon.

-I'm really delighted today.
-Why is that?

You know that sweet girl Margit Andersson?
She never got her millionaire.

So she sued him
for breaking his promise to marry.

The settlement was finalized today,
and Margit got 70,000.

So there is a price for toying
with young girls' hearts.

Imagine promising to marry her
and then just taking it back.

-Were they not engaged?
-I don't think so.

It was similar to you and Lillan,
I believe.

Isn't it sad that things ended that way?

That's why it's a joy to see the strong,
genuine love between the two of you.

-You two will never part.
-No, only if she...

You should be happy to have a woman
as loyal as Lillan. Remember what I said.

Well then... Thank you very much.

-Goodbye.
-I'll tell Lillan that you came by.

She'll be very happy.

-Rolf, come back here and apologize!
-Shut up and quit your nagging!

-I want the old hag out!
-You're such a bastard!

-As much of a bastard as I please.
-Yes, I've realized that!

And I know how to treat a lout!
It's over! Over, over!

-Thank you!
-What?

Thank you.

-Hello, Pontus.
-Come here.

-I'll be as much of bastard as I please!
-What's the matter, Pontus?

Good evening! A ringside table, I presume?

-Quit yapping and get a move on!
-Party of two?

-You're good at counting for a bus boy.
-Always the joker!

Stop your cackling!

-I have a nice table here.
-I thought I asked for a good table.

-This is the best one available right now.
-The one over there is better.

Come on, Lillan.

You sit there.

I'm sorry, but this table is reserved
by the Cellulose Group.

Your petty, internal matters
are no concern of mine.

Every profession has its own problem,
as you well know...

You tire me! - Come, Lillan.
Let's go to a good restaurant.

-I'll be talking to the manager, von...
-Reinhard.

I know that. Be quiet!
...Reinhard tomorrow.

I'll ask him to raise
the standard of this joint.

Please, sir, have a seat. It will be
our pleasure to treat you this evening,

to make amends for our neglect.

You oaf!

We'll stay a short while.

What a boring bunch! Bring everyone
a bottle of bubbly to liven things up!

-Put it on my tab.
-How many should I put?

You want me to count the sourpusses too?
No way!

And a non-alcoholic cider for the lady,
but she'll pay for it. Champagne for me.

Champagne and caviar.

-Couldn't I have some food...?
-Shut up!

Stop nagging. I'm getting a headache.

Shoo! Hurry up! Go away!

-God, you're just wonderful.
-That's right.

What?

-Do you have to learn Russian for the act?
-It's good to know what you're singing.

What does that matter?

-Eva, you're on.
-I'm coming.

It's funny, I didn't realize until tonight
what a wonderful man you are.

What? So you mean...?

Oh yes, I love you!

Shut your trap! I want to hear the music.

It happened at a time when summer

The Russian land with flowers dressed

How could I express, I'd wonder

The love I felt inside my chest

And he was always at my side

Wherever he would go went I

And we would spend all evening long

While the river sang it's song

And it means that my love reached

Up to the sky

On the Volga riverside

And when fall came storms did follow

And the river's mist fell

There was something strange and hollow

In that voice I knew so well

Then he was gone suddenly

Without a word or note for me

Across the steppes he ran away

My happiness did end that day

And it means that my fairytale

Was just a lie

On the Volga riverside

My, it's cold!
Darling, let's go home to your place.

You want us to take the car?
Not after all that champagne!

-We'll leave it here overnight.
-No, you won't, Mr. Blom.

-If it isn't Svensing!
-Can I have the car keys, please?

-I see...
-Who are you?

-Are you lending him your car?
-His car?

-Thank you.
-What are you doing?

-Butt out! - How's the car business?
-Splendid, thank you.

All our customers don't try bluffing
to get benefits

by adding a zero in the tax directory.

So it wasn't your car?
And what was that about the tax directory?

There was a typo.
210,000 instead of 21,000.

-So you're not rich?
-No, I told you, but you didn't mind.

-So you have no money, Pontus?
-No.

-But I really love you now.
-No, you mustn't.

But I really do. I can't help it.

-But that means I can't marry you.
-No, you can't.

-But Pontus, I'm so in love...
-You can't think only about yourself.

-You're so handsome, Pontus!
-We have to be brave.

Come, come. There's a taxi here.
I'll help you.

I will have hard time forgetting you.
Farewell, Pontus.

Farewell, Lillan.

-Pontus... Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

Excuse me. I'll pay later!

-Please bring the vase!
-I don't need a vase, you lout!

"Lout"!

Eva?

Are you here?

Dear Pontus, it's all so confusing,
and I won't come between you and Lillan.

I will go away. Take care. Eva.

THE ART OF BEING HAPPY

-Pontus, are you there?
-Yes.

-Would you come and see me?
-I'm coming.

-You wanted to talk to me.
-Yes, please sit down.

Not there. There.

What did you mean
about a typo in the tax directory?

I called you about it this morning.
There was a zero too many.

How embarrassing!
The question is what we'll do now.

-Kick me out, I guess.
-Fire you? Out of the question!

We need to keep it quiet, or the company
and I will be a laughing stock.

-You'll stay on as purchasing manager.
-Are you serious?

Of course!
You won't be making 210,000 a year,

but how about 40,000?

-No, I couldn't...
-Alright, 50,000.

-No...
-And a company car.

That's my final offer.

It's true that you've been
an excellent purchasing manager.

You know the business like no one else,

and no one else would have been able
to squeeze our suppliers as hard, but...

But I don't like it when people gang up
and someone has to get shafted.

No, not shafted. Consumed at the most.

Or driven out by sound competition,
if you prefer.

The higher you climb, the windier it gets.

Then I think I prefer a calm place
in your warehouse with my old salary.

Under no circumstances.
We have to keep a straight face.

We do?

Sure, I'll keep a straight face.

There was a telegram for you just now.

-From Eva?
-I wouldn't know.

It's in the harness room.

-No bad news, I hope.
-No, I'm expecting a telegram from a lady.

-But this wasn't it?
-No.

I called those big shots this morning and
asked to cancel the purchase of the Tsar.

-This is their reply.
-They won't do it?

No, they want 170,000 on Tuesday.

From me!

You'll be my ruin.
But I still like you somehow.

Eva went away, and I can't talk to you.

Are you sure?

-Eva!
-Hello. I've had a great idea!

About the Tsar. Listen...

-Tovarish.
-What? Tovarish!

-Tovarish.
-He understands if you speak Russian.

-Take this.
-A Russian phrase book?

Wait...

"Peace and friendship."

"Welcome to our hotel.

We hope you will find
everything comfortable."

-See, he understands!
-Thanks to you.

What a horse! If they had only known.

"May I suggest
that we go for an outing together?"

"Sir, how should I interpret this?"

"Alas, miss, I have lost my direction.

Please show me the way."

"I need to know where you aim to go."

"My little dove, I love you."

-Hey!
-Hi, you're here!

-Do you need help?
-I don't think so.

-I've brought coffee for you.
-Terrific!

Let's go, Eva.

Hello. What horse is that?

-It's Tsar Peter, third race.
-Tsar Peter! He's racing?

-His entry was withdrawn.
-I was told that too.

-I didn't hear anything about that.
-He's been useless for five months.

-He's in tip-top shape!
-He's listed in the program.

So were many others who didn't race.

Wait here.

-Can I talk to the organizers?
-What about?

They're telling me
that Tsar Peter won't be in the race.

-And I'm supposed to ride this one?
-Yeah, it's madness.

But he has to,
unless the entry is withdrawn.

It's sorted. He'll race.
Are you the jockey?

-I guess I am.
-You have a great responsibility.

-Do you know Russian?
-No, but I know how to ride.

That won't be necessary either.

First race.
The winner is Rita, by one length.

Photo finish for second and third.

-How are things going for you?
-Down the drain.

-Where is Pontus? I need a tip.
-I don't know.

-Between you and me, he's no good.
-Why?

A mistake. A typo in the tax directory.

-What? So you mean...?
-Not a penny.

And we've been on first-name basis!

Fredrik... A vow of silence.

-He's in great shape.
-I'm so nervous.

There's no reason for that.

-Hi, Eva.
-Hi!

-Billy says hello.
-Billy? Where is he?

-In the stables.
-I have to see him! I'll be right back.

You and I will speak Russian,
and then you'll run for all you're worth!

Let's see now. I have...

Where did I put it? What the...?

-Have you seen my dictionary?
-Dictionary? No.

No? What do we do now?

In the third race,
Edvard Sörensen will be riding Tsar Peter.

The new owner Pontus Blom's silks
are brown dots on white. A blue lily.

-What?!
-What did I tell you?

-We should have talked to him.
-You said so, did you?

Has anyone seen my phrase book?

No?

Blue Master has been doing well.

-Have you seen Eva?
-No. Why?

50 kronor on Tsar Peter in the third.

-Why throw your money away?
-Two more on the same one.

-Come and help me. I lost the dictionary.
-I don't know Russian.

-You spoke Russian before.
-Just a little!

Snaffle problems!

But my Russian was only a song lyric.

Oh, that's right.

And they're off!

Tsar Peter!

Beef stroganoff! Sputnik!

Pravda!

Lady Ann in the lead, one length
ahead of Buster Scott and Gelsomina.

-Can I borrow that?
-Hey!

Lady Ann is still in the lead.

Having funsky in Sovjetsky

And Dostoevsky stroganoff

Enjoysky vodka pork chopsky

And go troika bakenoff

Ma braya balalaika whee!

And worn outsky feet!

O dassa Pravda feedsky talk

And ascendsky astronaut!

Winner in the third race, Tsar Peter.

Good thing we sold that horse!

-Was it my fault?
-Yes, it was!

Who said that we should sell it
to that idiot Blom?

Who's the idiot now?

-Did you hold him back in the beginning?
-I don't know, he was off like a shot.

-Well done!
-Well done!

Well done, boys. Didn't I tell you?

-Mr. Blom!
-We'll learn how to talk, you and I.

I want to congratulate you!

Simply magnificent!

The Tsar is exactly the acquisition
that Swedish horse racing has waited for,

especially at my stud farm.

This horse is too valuable
to be risked in any more races.

It's going straight to breeding.

I have among 40 mares.

You understand Swedish?

I would be very grateful
if you could contact me tomorrow.

-Thank you.
-Goodbye, and thank you.

Well done!

May I congratulate you?
These are from Billy.

-Your fiancé?
-No! Let me introduce Billy.

My most faithful friend.

I'm sorry...
Does Billy or I get the final kiss?

Thank you for lending it to me.
And keep an eye on your zeros next time.

THE END

Subtitle translation by: Richard Schicke

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