En garde (2004) - full transcript

I did not want that she dies...

It was an accident - I didn't want that...

It all started with my ears.

And the thing with the ears
started when I was brought there.

I had noticed before that something
was wrong with them, but...

When I was living at Grandma -

And also at aunt Lotte

She was talking so loud too -

Sister Klara had said
I need quiet.

Because of the ears I...
I became friends with Berivan.

Only because of the ears we met Ilir.



I don't know where to start...

My name is Alice.

Alice Kowalski.

I am 16 years old.

Same age as my mother when she had me.
She...

She didn't know what to do with me
and gave me to grandma.

Then grandma died.

My mother took grandmas dog.

And she still didn't
know what to do with me.

So she brought me to an orphanage.

And that's where it all began.

That's a good home, you'll like it.

They're catholic here.

But very nice.



Sister Klara is very nice.

They're doing a lot of things.
Excursions, trips...

Have great leisure facilities.

It's getting too strong...

You will like it here.

You have to like it...

Do you understand?

Did you get me?

I gotta go now.

Okay then...
I will catch up with you.

Each floor we have ten girls
and four Sisters.

-- Sister Klara always
asked a lot of questions.

She did not like it when you did
not follow the house rules and...

it got really bad
when you lied to her.

Allergic to dust.

Do you have any allergies?

No.

Certain things that you don't like?

Do you like the sea or the mountains?

I suggest you start
off by making a list

on one side you write what you like
and on the other what you don't like.

That is, so to speak, your first task.

This is your wardrobe ... your bed ...
and your desk.

I'm getting a headache
from all that tidying-up.

Rather tell us something about you.

Yes, exactly.

Like who was that dressed
up bitch earlier? Your mom?

Is she drinking?
Does she beat you up?

Is she fucking you? Or...
do you have to-

It's enough, Martha. That's fucking unfair.

We should tell her first why we are here.

Marthas and my parents were in a
huge car crash and died.

Here's what it looked like:

Really sad.

Our parents loved us a lot.

-Her dad loved her so much,
that he even...you know what

-Cut it out Martha, you're annoying!

Now it's your turn.

If you want your peace,
you have to follow our rules.

And those are really simple:

You give us your pocket money,
shut up,

and we'll leave you alone.

And: A welcome gift...
some nice gadget.

The cellphone from the nerd girl,
the Discman from the apple-polisher,

or the Walkman from that emigrant.

Money and presents..
then you get your cupboard key back.

That's a deal, right?

Yes or no?!

Good...

And don't even try to mess around.
Because if you do...

you'll fucking get your ass whooped!

Got it?!

Unfortunately for me the two also
went to the same school as me.

They always acted like
they didn't know me.

They were the cool ones.

Josephine, the Beauty.

All boys liked her, but...
she didn't really like any of them.

And Martha...

Martha was also popular with the boys.

But in a different way.

All the girls in the
orphanage loved TV shows

and they really were watching
every single one of them.

Baggy!
Vacuum' later - you're annoying!

Me...

I just wanted one thing...

They should treat me like...
like I wasn't there.

I didn't want to see or hear anything.

Alice?

Due to a deformation in the ear
high pitched tones sound shrill

and low sounds are perceived
as painfully booming.

This "hearing too loud"
is called Hyper-Akusis.

Hyper-Akusis is largely
psychosomatic.

Therefore she should avoid
stress and noisy environments.

She will be prescribed ear-plugs.
She should wear them as often as possible.

Better?

Let me see.

Nobody will notice them.

Alici!

I call you like that from now on.

I think that is really beautiful!

When you're far away it's not working.
But I will think of something.

That's really a nice nickname!
A thousand times better than "emigrant" or "baggy".

"Baggy" is alright... because I
really take my bag everywhere I go.

But "emigrant" really
sucks, it's rude.

The others are calling me that.

They say you're savage because you don't
wash yourself and don't brush your teeth.

They're so dumb.

But Alici is really lovely.
You like it too, do you?

I can see that.

Berivan close the window.

Sorry.

Alice, we are going to the
immigration authority.

Is it OK with you when we drop
you off at the train station?

Well, just come with us.
You can wait in the car.

It will not take long.

She was walking way too fast
and was talking way too much.

All the while she held my arm
or was slapping on my leg.

When she didn't talk, she sang.

And when she didn't talk or
sang, she was vacuuming.

Because of Sister Klaras dust allergy.

Actually... actually I didn't
really like her, but...

because she knew of my ears,
I followed her everywhere.

I had feared that she would call
me Alici in front of the others.

That's why I followed her
every place she went.

And so we became friends.

Because she thought I liked her.

Tanja and Alice, you haven't yet
enlisted for a hobby course.

Go do it now please.

Do you also don't like sports?

Did you know that it is such a thing?

I thought it was something to do with
hands, like for baskets or something...

Fencing has three basic principles:

Step forward,

step back,

and lunge.

Fencing is like chess with weapons.

But in fencing one has to
be agile with ones legs.

So it challenges body and mind.

Take off the mask.
You don't need it now.

We will start with the footwork.

Left side begins: En Garde!

Now switch!

Fencing was terrible.

I didn't get it.

Neither the moves, nor the rules.

I didn't understand what there is to it.

It was boring, dangerous, and loud.

Very loud.

I only stayed because of Berivan.

I want to go there.

That's in Chaves.
That's in Portugal.

Have you been there?

Have you been to Portugal before?

No...

It's not nice here, hm?

Sit down please!
Come on, sit down!

You know, when I arrived here,
nothing else was free.

Well, every now and then
something was available.

But Sister Klara said, I can only swap rooms,

when the thing with
my asylum works out.

We will know that on... 2. October

That's when the court session is.

If Sister Klara says on 2. October in the
court that I.. "good behaviour" have

uhm... "good conduct"

Then I can stay here.

Maybe I will get a
different room then.

It is all up to Sister Klara.

I'll be right back, I just have to...

Alici stop that...

Stop that Alici, drop it!

That hurts!

It doesn't hurt me.

But it hurts me...

Damn!

Not bad. Respect.

You get my Walkman back right now
and put it in front of my door!

What kind of person are you!

You did understand me?

You get my walkman back this very day.

No wonder your mom doesn't want you.

When I went to the shower...

I saw someone smoking in there.

and...

when I came back from the shower,

I saw it burning.

I want the girl to come
forward voluntarily.

I'll say it for the last time:
It's better to admit now.

Good...

If you want it like that.

Alice
Who have you seen?

Was it Josefine?

I don't have anything to do with it!

What did you do in the corridor then?

I couldn't sleep... Do you know
that, when you are in love...

It's enough!
Get up!

I want to know if it was Josefine.

What about you, Martha?

Did you smoke in the common room?

Me? No. But when looking
through the door crack I saw a fat ass.

-She's lying!

Cunt!

What did you say?

Nothing.

Olga, what did she say?

-Olga, when you say something, then...

Quit threatening her!

Ines you're annoying!

That's enough, Martha. You're going
to swap your room with Berivan.

I don't want in that hole!

One more sentence and you
can pack your things!

Alice who did you see
in the TV room gesehen?

Nobody.
It was too dark.

You're going to bed now.

Martha, you change rooms now.

And you're coming to my office.

Write the name of the girl down.

Just don't think that you will be liked now
because you are covering up for someone.

I know them all very well.

Even if they wanted to like you,
they could not.

I think you know what I mean.

When you wrote down the name, call me.

She composed, wrote,
healed...

Hildegard von Bingen was a chosen one.

My music teacher in boarding
school told us a lot about her.

I was fascinated with her

and wanted to be just like her.

I was praying for
nights on end, but...

Neither could I hear God's voice,
nor could I see His light.

Eventually, infuriated
I gave up my dream.

And now I am here.

And you?

Do you know what you want to be?

No.

You are very tired.
It was an exhausting night.

I believe you, that
didn't see anybody.

Go now, go to sleep.

Oh... and...

What I said about you and the girls
I didn't mean it like that.

I... I just lost myself...

What did you say to her?

Nothing.

Thank you. You can keep the
Walkman, you can have it.

Let's make up, OK?

Come on, Alici.

Let's be friends again, please.

Please, Alici...

Look, I put these here.

Your wall looked so naked.

Looks nice, eh?

Sleep well...

Alici

Have you ever been to Chaves?

No.

Me neither.

It's in Portugal.

There is a tree there.

It is this one.

Berivan said, if to the right
of it there is a lake

then the tree is holy.

Like the one in her village.

She wasn't allowed to go to
her village any more. So..

So she wanted to go there.

Alice

More courage!
Come on, again!

Come on... more!

Attack.

Come on Alice!

Yes, come on!
Yes, attack!

Yes, that's it!

Let's go this way.

It leads to the train station too, I think.

You know, I am sure when
you go to holy tree

your ears will be healed!

Come over!

You know

like to the right of the tree
there has to be a see too

else it's not a holy tree.

You know why lake has
to be to the right?

You go to tree and put little pieces of
cloth on branch and you wish for something.

It looks totally pretty when the coloured
pieces are like swaying back and forth.

They say, wind whispers your
whishes to the heavens.

Do you know how that works?

OK, when wind blows through leaves,
there's this rushing noise.

You know what that means?
They're whispering!

They whisper something to the wind.

Wind whispers to the lake and
lake passes it on to the heavens.

When you listen carefully,
you can hear the whispering.

Wait, I'll show you.

I don't know this here...

Shit, Alice! Shit!
Where are we?

Where... where is the train station?

Try to hear where that
building site is.

I can only hear cars.

Where?

There.

Well... first turn right...
and then straight forward...

and then... at the
Steinstraße turn left

then the third one right and
then again straight forward.

Thank you.

We'll ask someone else.

Hey Alice!

Don't you recognise me?

Friedrichstraße 11!

The idea has to be so crazy,

that every one just shakes their head
and says, hey, you're nuts

Somehow like that I told it.

Yeah, maybe I had already smoked a joint.

Yes, maybe even two...

But it was cool. Because
I had this rad idea

a coffee to go bar in Albania!

Isn't that cool?
My father is half albanian,

I also speak a few words Albanian...

The shop rents over there
aren't so high as here.

All perfecto!

Just my colleagues...

They're saying: Hey, you're nuts.

Is that not a cool sign?

OK, not entirely true...

My workmate Mimo, he
thought the idea was good.

Yes if Mimo thinks it's good...

Exactly what I thought!

Have you ever been to Albania?

No, only in Romania.

No, no. That was a joke.

Well.. OK then, take care!

Here - just call. Ask for me,
then you'll get a pizza for free!

Yes, yes, I'm already gone.

Alright, see you!

That was a strange guy.

My bag!

Hello!

Hello, my bag!

Yes, hallo. I wanted to ask for a boy.

He's driving a pizza car
and he has dark hair.

No I don't know his name.
But Alice knows.

Name?
No, I forgot...

But he used to live in
Friedrichstraße 11.

Thank you!

What did she say?

She said, they're only
delivering pizzas, no boys.

Everything was in there...

My photos

My money...
Everything.

Come quick!

Where have you been so long?

We got lost.

Helmut?

Konstantin?

Ey, that wasn't empty!

Blah...

Ey Baggy, go vacuuming again!

I did already!

Alfred?

Ralf?

What about your mom,
does show know him?

Maybe...

Then we call her and ask her!

-I can't call her.

Then I'll call her!

-No...

What could be his name...

What do you think he
will do with my bag?

Not that he smokes it...

What?

Are you laughing?

Oskar?

Peter?

Kurt?

Hans?

Dietrich

Andreas?

Sven?

Come on!

What?

You have to wake me up!

Didn't you play this game
as kids with your friends?

It's totally childish and
silly, but whatever.

So I am dead now and you're totally
sad because you are my friend.

And you have to wake me with kisses.

That game sucks.

That game really sucks.

You can go now!

When you don't go, I will.

I wanted...

Do you maybe...

Like, do you remember what this family was called?

This boy that used to live across
the street from grandmas...

How am I supposed to know?

Come, take a seat.

I don't want you to just come here.

I told you I will contact you.

Looks totally cute!

Did she really say nothing?

Alici, look!
My bag!

Everything is there.

Is this you?

Yes.

I'm wearing this red dress and am like
facing to the right, like, so stupid...

Want some?

No.

Where are you parents now?

Dead.

It's not so bad anymore.

I can even look at the photo.

Not always...
from time to time.

I don't have any photo of you.

You absolutely have to give me one.
Gonna put it in my bag too then.

Do you have one?

No.

At the train station there's this booth.
There you can...

Look at this!

Some...

Ilir Nanuk was here about an
hour ago and gave us the bag.

You will be in your own room from today again.
Marthas detention is over.

Go ahead to your room now.

Come over to me later.

It's not good that you're
only friends with Berivan...

Seek contact to the other girls too.

We don't know, if Berivan
can stay here at all.

I just want to spare you
the emotional distress.

I though like: Why aren't they calling?

I was starting to wonder...

Well, it's been a while -
four days or something.

Then I just looked in
the bag and drove off.

And it was pretty far...

I got there, and you weren't in!

Well. Then I gave the bag to some woman.

You're living pretty far out.

Can I take a look?

Here.

Have it from a Turkish colleague.

You Turks really have a knack for this stuff.

-I'm a Kurd.

And what's your name?

Berivan.

What?

Berivan.

Like, Be as in bell

Ri as in Ring

Van... as in... Van.

Man, Alice, you know who's
been here the other day?

Tina!

You do know who I mean, right?

No, don't know her.

Man. Tina!

Aggro-Tina.

Come on, you don't have to
be embarrassed anymore.

You were nine or ten..

You'll remember definitely!

Ey, wait up! You don't have to feel ashamed of that.

Man, she's totally embarrassed...
believe me.

He says, we owe him a dinner for the bag.

He knows a cheap Chinese reastaurant.

Did you ever eat Chinese?

And is it good?

It's delicious.

Don't laugh.

Now!

Oh, thank you Be as in Bell, Ri
as in Ring, Van as in Van!

Thank you Alice!

Do you have a nickname too?

I call her--

The birthday menu?

Yes.. but does it cost more?

No.

When your birthday is
today, it's cheaper.

Yes, then we'll take it.

What a coincidence, right?

Hey look.

One finger goes here

and the other one here.

And now you can move it like that.

Tell me, how is the fencing? Show me!

No... not like that.

Alici you show him!

Alice doesn't want to. She wants to sing.

You sing.

I have no problem with that.

Berivan, do you want me to sing?

OK, when Berivan wants me to
sing, I will do it of course.

There... and tomorrow it's your turn to sing, OK?

Goodbye.

Damn, we're late.

What's up?

Martha and Josefine here there.

Ey Baggy, what are you doing here?

We missed the train.

We did too.

Come Alici.

Did you really punch that girl?

What girl?

Aggro-Tina.

Ilir said, you totally beat her up.

Oh he's lying.

I don't know any Aggro-Tina.

What's your problem.
He is really cute.

I don't like him.

He's stupid.
And he's singing off key.

Then he always goes: WAHH!! I don't know it!

I don't know it!

Alice, do you know who I met?

Tina! Aggro-Tina!!

-Alright, now imitate me.

You know, there is this tree, it is so beautiful

it is so beautiful, you can--

you can go there and then you
can wish for something

It's really totally beautiful!

And then I was already in Romania too!

I really was in Romania...

Now imitate me!

...but it was very short.

Go imitate me!

No...

You must not tell it anyone.

What?

That I was in Romania.

When the immigation authority finds
out, they will send me back to Romania!

Nah.

Yes, they will!

There's this stupid law.

When you are emigrating and
you get off in a country,

where there's currently no war,
you get send back to that land.

I was only a moment in Romania..
just to go to the toilet.

But that is already enough.

You know, my friend I was with

he always said: Berivan,

when the German police asks you: "Did
you get off somewhere?" You say: No.

And what happens?

I come to Germany

and german police asks me.

I say: I got off in Romania.

And I remember ...

I say:

No, no! I didn't get off anywhere.

But it was too late.

They didn't believe me.

They said I am lying.

And so the court case started.

You must not tell Sister Klara that I lied.

She's supposed to say good
things about me on 2. October.

She must not say that I lied

She has to say that I
don't cause any trouble.

That's why I'm doing all that.

But she doesn't realise it.

She likes you.

Nah.

Yes, she likes you.

Do you promise you don't tell anyone?

Do you swear?

Yes.

I know what we'll sing tomorrow!

No fooling around!

Won't you buy anything?

Don't have money.

You don't ever have money.

What are you doing with it?

It's too see-through.

Too small...

For you!

Stop it! Are you crazy?

It's not pretty, eh?

This is pretty, hm?

I just have that accidentally..

I forgot it inside.

You wanted to give me a photo too.

When are you giving it to me?

I don't have one.

But at the train station
there's this photo booth...

I don't have money.

Want this one?

It looks nice.

I'll buy it for you.

If I hadn't waited for her,
it wouldn't have happened.

She really got into trouble.

I was making costumes for her and me.

For the costume party.

Do you have allergies too?

Yes..

What makes you say that now?

I can hear that.

I heard this quiet whistling noise
and your voice sounds a bit throaty.

I immediately recognised it.

I know that from Sister Klara.

I always recognised her
from that quiet whistling.

Where was I?

The costume party.

I made a Vobila III costume
for Berivan and myself.

Do you know what a Vobila III is?

No, what's that?

Well, they're robots.

Actually they're just like humans.

But...

But they cannot feel any fear.

But then they want to
feel fear too, right?

You know that too?

No, I just thought so.

And how do they accomplish it then?

Only one succeeds.

Alici tell us.

Yes, that is Vobila III.

She sees how her friend is
beeing murdered by scientists.

And then she becomes scared and--

Can't Alici come with us?

Nah, how would that work?

We'll be back shortly.

You're waiting here, right?

Alice, lock up behind us, OK?

Not like that.
Properly!

OK, now hold on tight.

Where have you been?

I waited for Berivan.

And where is she now?

She's cruising with Ilir.

We were looking for you the whole time.
I was totally worried about you.

You only went back to tell
Sister Klara, you snitch!

Get out!

Get out!

This is for you!

I don't want anything from you.
Get lost.

Get lost!
Get out!

Tell them I'm at the doctor.

I'll come later.

Sorry, I was at the doctor.

Go!

Alice, what are you doing?

Is everything alright?

It was an accidental slip.

Let's be friends again.

I didn't want that!

Leave me alone, Alici.

Leave me alone!

What do you want from me?

Why are you like that?

To say goodbye is a part of life.
It is the salt of life.

The only thing constant
is the love of God.

Do I have to go now?

What?

No.

Your aunt Lotte has left us.

Blessed be her soul;
in peace she shall rest.

Your mother called this morning.
She said you should come see her.

Your aunt has left you something.

Did you like her a lot?

Well... I have to go now.

Alice, don't forget the list please.

The list of the things you
like and what you don't like.

It is very important!

Hey look.

A father shot his entire
family at a picnic.

Sick, eh?

Why are you collecting these?

Just because.

Happy Birthday.

Thanks!

Martha, you're sweetheart.

Hey Alice.

Where's the money?

Want a sip?

Go drink a bit.

They are magic mushrooms
from Hildegard von Bingen.

They'll put you in a good mood.

Hey, that's enough!

Good...

Humility.

Oh Lord, I will learn to be humble.

I will serve you.

Lord, I will humiliate you

and I will only humiliate you.

Happy birthday!

Thanks!

Yesterday I had a totally rad dream.

I am in a huge room

and I am bleeding from the stomach.

I am bleeding... and you are there as well.

You are completely naked.

Everyone in the room is naked.

That's enough, Josefine.

Why?

I only dreamed that.

The others in the room
are going at it like crazy

and moaning.

I said, it's enough now!

We don't want to hear
your disgusting dream.

But the others are not disturbed by us.

They are still moaning.

Ey Jo. Stop it.
You'll get in trouble.

Off to your room now

I'm done!

You're hurting me!

You are going to your room - immediately!

I ruined everything again...

I still have not discovered love in me.

Show it to me.

You know how it works.

You love every one of us, right?

We're not able to..

But you are not like us.

You love us!

Say it!

I love you.

I love you.

It can't be so hard.

Stop it, Josefine.

Say it.

I love you

Don't you love us?

I destroyed everything again.

Berivan.

I'm not feeling well.

Hey Baggy. Go look after her.

She's not feeling well.

Come Alici.

Get up.

Stop!

Stop! It hurts!

Alici...

You're hurting me.

Stop it!

Alici, let go of me!
I can't breathe!

Alici stop it!

What's the matter?

Sister Klara said you're
supposed to help me

put the dishes in the dish washer.

Berivan, lets be friends again.

If you don't reconcile with me,

I will tell Sister Klara everything.

I will tell her,

that you smoked in the recreation room

and that you had a stop in Romania.

You don't want to get any trouble

four days before the court
hearing, don't you?

Let us reconcile.

We're not finished yet.

Go do that shit alone!

And don't ever call
me immigrant again.

There.

Want me to wrap it up?

Do you actually like this thing?

No...

Why did she pass it on to you then?

I just always looked at it

when she was talking.

Instead of dropping you off here and there

I should have just brought you
to the orphanage earlier.

It's good for you.

I can see that.

You've changed.

Why are you treating me like that?

Just imagine you were pregnant now

at age 16.

You can't abort anymore,
because you noticed too late.

Don't know who the father is...

And where it happened...

Grandma said

that she saw you

drunk, sleeping with a guy in
a rest room at a disco

She said that?

What was grandma doing in a disco?

She didn't care what I was doing.

She didn't care about anything.

She was always occupied with herself.

I just wanted to get out of
here as fast as possible.

So I fucked around.

Though...

Someone will fall in love with me

and help me get out of here.

But nothing happened.

What happened was, one of them
was making me pregnant.

I was so sorry for you.

And how I didn't see

that you tried everything

so I would just be nice to you

You always looked at me with big eyes.

I know you wanted...

to hear a kind word

or see a smile

You reminded me of myself.

I know you will always hate me.

I won't hold it against you.

I understand it.

That is maybe our only...

family tradition.

Sie sehen sich selbst
auf dem Bildschirm...

Legen Sie nun einen Finger der
rechten Hand auf die gelbe Fototaste.

Jetzt können Sie eine Aufnahme machen.

Wenn Sie wollen, lächeln Sie.

Schauen Sie sich das
Ergebnis auf dem Monitor an

Zufrieden?

Ja? Dann bestätigen Sie dies durch
Drücken der grünen OK-Taste.

Is Berivan there?

No, she's not allowed to stay so long.

Know why

I mean why do you two
always bitch around?

Can I have the postcard?

I'm just borrowing it.
You'll get it back.

Here.

What would you wish for there?

That I was different.

So that everyone likes you?

No...

That I like myself.

There, now you are different!

Now seriously... you don't
believe that shit, right?

Hey, Berivan just made that up.

That's just typical girl stuff.

I mean, why should that
ugly tree be so holy?

If it was true, the whole world would
commute there and wish for stuff.

It's total bullshit.

Yes I know.

But still...

Why did you remember that
I punched Aggro-Tina?

Do you think I had a crush on you?

No.

You were like a mouse, invisible.
But then... BAM.

You beat her up because
of that comic book.

And then Aggro-Tina of all people!
You don't forget that easily.

Do you come with me now?

Maybe I had a little crush on you too.

Just like small kids fall in love...

What is that?

Sister Klara wants to
see you in her office.

She was already waiting
the whole time.

Something happened?

No.

I don't know.

Alice, sit down please.
Put that guy beside you.

Ist der von deiner Tante?

What happened?

I heard Berivan was getting violent

and Ines heard you saying
to Berivan that...

When we're not friends again,

I will tell Sister Klara,

that you smoked in the recreation room

and you got off in Ro-something.

Ro- probably was Romania.

Ines did really remember that very well.

I think you don't realize in what kind
of grave situation you are right now.

Ro-something...

So, Alice,

did Ines hear that right?

I...

just said that for the heck of it.

She didn't do it. Believe me.

Believe me,
Berivan has nothing to do with it.

Tell her, Berivan.

Say that you didn't cause that fire!

The fire wasn't because of her.

It was my fault.

All right Alice.
I don't want you to lie to me.

No! It was not her!

I did it!

Berivan, say it. Tell her already!

What are you talking about?

It's too late now!

When you don't believe me

I will tear the postcard apart.

Berivan enough already!

Sit down now, will you!

Do something...

That's not right...

You know what will happen

It is all up to you!
You know that...!

The court hearing is in three days!

You have to forgive her.

You have to forgive her!

Do it for me!

It's OK, Alice.

Go to your room.

Please...

Say that I'm telling the truth.

Please, Berivan!

Say that I'm telling the truth!

Say that I'm telling the truth!

Calm down, Alice!

Alici, stop it!

Sister...

Sister Klara...

What's she saying?

Should I go see her now?

She says we have to wait here.

She'll be here shortly.

She's very sorry. She just...

She just lost herself...

She said that?

Yes. She'll come shortly and tell you.

You have to tell her everything
and then she will forgive you.

You think so?

Yes, I'm sure.

What are you doing?

I'm writing the list.

Why do you write it now?

Because I promised to.

Berivan fell asleep.

I finished the list

and then I went back to
Sister Klaras office.

I gave the list to Sister Klara.

She was so strict and harsh again.

She had changed her mind.

I would cause too much trouble

It would be better for me, if I went
to a different orphanage, she said.

I cried and said I didn't want to

but I couldn't persuade her.

I was getting so angry.

I don't know what was up with me.

I started hitting her.

She tried to hold me

then I pushed her away from me.

She fell over backwards
and hit the sink

and then dropped to the floor.

She...

did not breathe anymore.

She was so silent...

I sat down beside her.

Thought, maybe she will breathe again.

But nothing happened.

It was terribly quiet in the room.

I didn't want that to happen.

It was an accident.

It's important that you state in front
of the judge, that it was an accident.

Did you tell my mom?

They were calling me.

They say, that I...

I'm supposed to talk to you.

What should I even say?

I don't have much time anyway.

Busy day today.

You know, customers are waiting.

I didn't want to stay for long.

I heard you inside.

What happens now?

I'm sent to a different orphanage.

Because it was an accident.

Was it really an accident?

And what about your hearing?

Very good.

I'm going to an assisted living group.

It's much better there.

We can smoke and go out for
the nights and everything.

The girls are alright too.

They're smoking a little bit much...

Like, not cigarettes...

Bags of weed?

Ja.

We will go on vacation
in the summer too.

We can decide where we want to go.

Why don't you suggest Chaves.

Maybe there's really a lake
to the right of that tree.

Maybe.

We're going to Southern Germany.

To Bamberg.

Ilir is there.

You know...

it's better that you and
me go different places.

Without Sister Klara it's strange.

It's so different now.

I have to go now.

Can I go to fencing again?

You have to ask that your custodian.

Did you like going to fencing?

Yes?

Yes.

The great thing about fencing is:

The procedure is clear.

You stand face to face

En Garde, and go.

Sometimes you give
yourself into the game

and you get lost in it.

You forget about yourself.

You forget the time ... and the fears.

These are the most beautiful moments.