Emily (2017) - full transcript

(ambient music)

(somber piano music)

(food sizzling)

(chopping)

(sizzling)

(clinking)

- Um.

I was thinking maybe
we could talk about it

at small group this week.

- Yeah, we could do that.

- Okay.



I think that'll be good.

I think it'd be good for us.

- Is Julia gonna be there?

- Mhmm.

- Has Julia done any more
research for grad school?

- No, not really.

- No?

- Uh uh.

She says she wants to
take it easy for awhile.

- Yeah but she graduated six months ago.

- Yeah, well she wants
to save for a year first

and then,

I don't know.

- Hmmm.



- What?

- Does she like working at Paradigm?

- Not really.

- Hmmm.

- Have you talked to Jeff
about your raise yet?

- No, he was really busy
with meetings today.

I didn't wanna bother him.

But

I will.

- You should.

Because you deserve it.

You do.

(somber piano music)

(sizzling)

(birds chirping)

- Hey man, what's up?

- Hey, what're you doing here?

- Not much.

Just dropped off some files.

You?

- Grinding away.

- Super.

Hey, some of us were
gonna go to Ram's Head.

Drink some beers, play some darts.

- I can't.

- What?

- I can't.

Would you like to come to a bible study?

- Uh, no.

But I will talk to you soon.

Take care.

- You too.

(thudding)

- You got it?

- Yeah.

- Okay?

- You could start making coffee.

- Okay.

- Fix those.

- All right.

(people chattering)

(somber piano music)

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How're you doing?

(somber piano music)

- "Perseverance must finish its work

"so that you may be mature and complete.

"Not lacking anything."

(somber piano music)

- Oh,

I love that place.

I got there all the time.

I have a little boy.

There's a park right next to it.

- Yeah, exactly.

I know, I love it too.

- Do you wanna talk about?

- No.

- Okay.

I can close.

Let us pray.

Jesus,

thank you for.

(somber piano music)

(door thudding)

- You okay?

- Yeah.

(rain pitter-pattering)

I just thought we were
gonna talk to them tonight.

- Well,

I was gonna bring up my questions to them.

But I answered my questions.

- You did?

- Yeah.

- So what?

- I can't believe in God anymore.

You know I'm not trying to hurt you.

- I know.

It's just,

up until a month ago

your faith was so much
apart of who you were

and now you don't believe in God anymore?

- I don't know.

I just,

when I pray I feel like I'm
talking to a brick wall.

I've been thinking a lot about
when I felt closest to God

was when I met you.

I think I prayed the most I've ever prayed

that week before I asked you out.

- Took you long enough.

- Do you remember where we
were in that old art building?

- Yeah.

- I bought you quadruple Americano

and you had a final due the next day

and I asked you out and
it came out all backwards.

Do you remember what I said?

- I think you said,

"Can I date you on a take?"

I don't remember.

- No, I think I said,

"Can I out take you to a date?"

- You stayed up with me all night.

Can't believe a guy would do that.

- See,

that was the first time
that I've ever felt

God's approval

or go ahead, or whatever, to ask you out.

But I wasn't talking to God.

I was afraid

and I was just talking to myself.

- So you've been lying to me?

- No, no, no Emily.

I just...

When I think back to whatever
it is that I had with God,

I was lying to myself.

- So you don't believe any

of the conversations you had were real?

- When you talk to God,

how do you know it's him?

- I don't know.

I just feel it.

So what're you gonna do?

- What do you mean?

- How're you gonna find God?

- I'm not.

(rain pitter-pattering)

(sighing)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- When's the last time you wrote?

- What?

- I was thinking

maybe you should spend
tomorrow just writing.

You always come up with the best ideas

about God and life when you write.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I can do that.

(pleasant beat music)

(groaning)

(pleasant beat music)

(rustling)

(pleasant beat music)

(glass clinking)

(fizzling)

(fizzling)

(thudding)

- What's all this stuff
doing in the sock drawer?

- I don't know.

- You don't know how it got here?

- Who cares how it got there?

It's my stuff, what does
it matter where I keep it?

- Nathan?

- What?

- What's going on?

- Those are my things.

That's all.

That's all that's left.

Everything else

is ours.

But that,

that's my mug

and I wanted to keep it somewhere safe.

- Hey.

What's going on?

- Everything that we have is ours.

Someone bought for us.

What happened to my stuff?

- What're you talking about, sweetie?

- I was

walking through the house

and

I'm looking around

and,

none of it,

none of it, none of it.

None of it's me.

I lied to you

and I lied to myself.

What kind of person does that make me?

- Hey.

Jesus--

- Don't!

Don't!

(glass shattering)

(dramatic music)

(groaning)

(crying)

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I didn't meant to scare you.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

(somber piano music)

(glass clinking)

(somber piano music)

(Nathan sighing)

- Vanilla latte.

So what does that mean?

- He needs his space.

- So are you separated?

- No.

He just needs a few days.

- I said nonfat, right?

Sorry.

- It's fine.

(fizzling)

What?

- Well, I don't know.

I mean, do you think this is a good idea?

- I don't know.

- So he's what,

at atheist, agnostic?

- Nonfat vanilla latte.

(faint beat music)

I don't know.

He just says that he
doesn't believe in God.

That's all he says.

- Well, that's probably
hard for you, right?

- Doesn't matter.

It was weird, though.

Last night was the first night
I slept alone in like a year.

- You don't think he met
someone else, do you?

- You know,

I'm okay out here.

- Emily, I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine.

- I didn't mean to sound--

- No, no, no, no.

You're good.

Go.

(faint beat music)

(rails clanking)

- I need some space to
sort some stuff out, man.

I can't keep taking it out on her.

- For sure.

Well, this is it.

It's guest bedroom.

I've never really had a guest in it

but it had been a room for awhile.

Sorry it's not much.

- No, this is,

this is great.

Thank you.

- Cool.

- Well, do you wanna talk about it?

- No.

- Cool, thanks.

- For what?

- For not wanting to talk about it.

Just awkward, you know?

- Anytime.

- But good luck

and I'm here for you.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

We are gonna go to the Ram's
Head and get some beers,

if you wanna come.

- I'm okay.

I'm gonna get some writing down.

- Well,

sleep tight or whatever you're gonna do.

- Thank you.

(door creaking)

(muffled talking)

(girl laughing)

- Do you have any tattoos or birthmarks?

I don't wanna make you
feel self-conscious.

I just wanted to try and get to know you.

(muffled speaking)

People have neck tattoos and tramp stamps.

If you had a tramp stamp,

I wouldn't call it a tramp stamp on you,

I would call it a beauty mark

or like a graffiti wall.
- Oh.

Oh, a graffiti wall?

- Whatever is classy.

- [Girl] Graffiti wall.

That's pretty edgy.

I feel like, yeah, graffiti wall.

- [Steve] Well, tramp stamp--

- [Girl] Hey, like my graffiti wall?

- [Steve] Check out my graffiti wall.

(muffled laughing)

(somber piano music)

(traffic commotion)

(phone buzzing)

(sighing)

(phone buzzing)

(phone buzzing)

- Oh my God, Mom, shut up.

(traffic commotion)

(phone buzzing)

That's a very pessimistic
way to think about it.

- But come on.

If we don't let Jesus into our heart

or ask for forgiveness,

then we go to hell.

It's fear based.

Just trying to keep us in
line like we're cattle.

- An opiate for the masses.

- Exactly.

Nietzschey had a point.

- Nietzsche.

- "Nietzsche."

- And it was Marx who said that.

- Whatever.

How often do you go to
church out of guilt?

- I don't.

- I did.

- Hmm.

- My parents always
expected me to go to church.

It was the same with you.

- So what?

You just trying to put on
a show to make me happy?

When I suggested that
we start a bible study

in our living room,

you were just being a good
little husband for me?

- I was just trying to support
you and what you wanted.

- But you were lying.

- I know

and I hate that.

I hate that I had to
lie to make you happy.

I was lying to myself and
I am not lying anymore.

I wanna be real with you.

- What?

- Will you still like me?

- You're my husband.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Thank you.

- How do you feel?

- Sad.

But a little less lonely.

I don't know.

Guess I'm feeling guilty.

- Why?

- I don't know.

I try to look at this
thing from every angle

and no matter what, it's my fault.

He was always so
uncomfortable, this whole time,

he just, what, I don't know, humored me.

- He's uncomfortable around everyone.

Remember that first
dinner with Mom and Dad?

- Oh yeah.

Where he wouldn't carve the turkey

and Dad asked him to pray?

- No, Mom ask him to pray

and it was Dad who asked him to finish

after a whole minute passed since he said,

"Jesus, we just..."

(laughing)

- I think that's all he said,

"Jesus, we just..."

It was those moments, those
nights when he was so cute

and I had no idea that it meant.

- What?

- That he couldn't be himself around me.

God.

It's like we have to start all over again

and even then, only if he
feels comfortable with himself.

- Well, I mean,

what do you think you could do differently

that would make him feel more comfortable?

- I don't know.

- You know, Emily,

I really believe that God's
got a plan for you guys.

- Then why would he want me to marry him

if it's just gonna end in three years?

I'm sorry.

I'm just scared.

- So am I.

(faint piano music)

(fizzling)

(traffic commotion)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- I'm okay, how are you?

- I'm good.

Could I get a scotch, please?

Thank you for meeting with me.

- Of course.

- Steve says hi.

- Hi, Steve.

So what have you been up to?

- Writing.

- Good.

That's great.

What have you been writing about?

- Oh, you know,

just ideas for stories

and character sketches.

Stuff like that.

- Have you been enjoying
it more than copywriting?

- Oh God, yes.

- Why?

- Copywriting is not inspiring.

- Yeah.

And?

- It's what I wanna do.

I wanna move people.

- Okay.

- What?

- Well, it's great if
that's what you wanna do

but there's a place for copywriting too.

- I don't like it.

- Okay, I can understand that, sure.

I'm just saying that I think

you should be proud of
the work that you've done.

- Okay.

Thank you.

It's the little things
too, though, you know?

Sitting in the coffee shops.

People watching.

I could do that anywhere.

France, Spain.

And I could be free.

- You wouldn't be totally free.

I mean, you'd still have
some responsibilities.

- Yeah, I'd have to get
some writing done, sure.

(chuckling)

- No, I mean, like responsibilities.

Like your family.

And what if your wife doesn't
want to move to Spain?

What if she wants to open up a
coffee shop here in Portland?

You can people watch there.

How are you feeling about God?

- What do you mean?

- How are you pursuing Him?

- How do you think that
comes across, Emily?

"How are you pursuing him?"

- How do you want me to phrase it?

- It's not about phrasing.

I'm not pursuing him.

- Why?

- Emily!

- I'm sorry.

Can you tell me a little bit more

about why you don't believe?

- Do you realize that there's been

three school shootings in the past month?

There's no room for God here.

- I disagree.

The world is a shitty place, Nathan.

I would lose it if I
didn't have God to turn to.

- See that's why I can't believe.

God and Heaven and all this other bullshit

we make up to escape.

- And what're you doing when
you read all those books, okay?

Joyce, Hemingway, Cormac McCarthy.

What're you doing when you're
losing yourself in them?

- I'm dealing with the shit
that's going on in the world.

The bible says stay away from
the world, stay out of it.

Literature confronts it.

Emily,

this doesn't have to be a big deal.

I still respect what you believe.

- You think it's all made up.

How do you respect what I believe?

- You believe in God,
I don't believe in God.

I'm not saying that you're wrong.

I'm just saying that I don't believe.

- Why?

(sighing)

Have you really thought both
sides of the argument through?

- Emily,

can you just

let me be?

- No.

You're my husband.

It's my job to push you.

- I'm sorry.

- When are you coming home?

- [Steve] He returns.

- Hey.

- [Steve] How'd it go?

- It was all right.

(Steve laughing)

- [Steve] Are you sure about that?

- I don't know.

- What do you not know?

- It was weird seeing her.

- Well, are you gonna
move back in with her?

- I don't know.

I'd like to.

I just don't know if
it's a good idea though.

That guy she married, I
am not that guy anymore.

- Yeah.

- How could we possibly be happy?

- Don't ask me.

- I wasn't.

- Well, yeah you were.

I mean, you just said, "How
could I possible be happy?"

- Oh my God, Steve, I
was being rhetorical.

- What?

This is why I don't get married.

- Helpful.

- I'm just saying, why do you
think the divorce rate is 50%?

Because girls come and go.

People change.

You and Emily, you had a good run.

- We're just separated.

- Like I said, people change
and nothing lasts forever.

- Yeah, you're right.

You know, it's just my marriage.

Why even try?

- Some people get married for 50 years.

50 years.

If you're lucky, you'd
get out way before then.

- Oh my God, shut up, Steve.

- You know, I was married.

- Really?

- I was engaged.

I had a serious relationship.

Senior year, U-Dub,

her name was Courtney.

And

we were together for like six months.

She moved into my place,

we got a cat, cooked dinners together.

We even talked about marriage.

And then, out of nowhere,
we just started fighting.

Fighting about everything.

I mean, I would say
we're out of mayonnaise

and two hours later she
would be having an argument

with me about how I don't take
responsibility for my life.

I woke up one morning and I realized,

it just shouldn't be this hard.

So I broke up with her

and I got this place and
I couldn't be happier.

(inhaling)

(entry belling ringing)

- Hey, Dad.

Sorry I'm late.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

- It's not problem.

Have a donut?

- Sure.

- I'm really sorry

but I gotta get my Max
in a couple minutes.

- Oh, it's okay, I understand.

- So how's it going?

What's up?

- I wanted to ask you
about your first marriage.

- Okay.

- You never talk about her.

- Why would I?

- She was your wife.

- Yeah, for a year, you know?

Way before I met your mom.

Why you asking about Alice?

- Did you regret it?

- Breaking up with Alice?

No, of course not.

If we hadn't broken up, I
woulda never met your mom.

We wouldn't have had you

or Lizzie or David.

- I know but besides us
and besides mom, I mean,

do you ever think about what
your life would've been like

if you'd stuck with Alice?

- What's going on with you and Emily?

- I don't know.

We're becoming different people.

Or I am.

It's just not working.

- Like how?

Give me a for instance.

- It's nothing specific, Dad, it's just

I'm changing and she isn't.

- It happens, buddy.

You know, people change over the years.

- But I'm growing in the
opposite direction of Emily.

- Like I said, son, that happens.

You just find a way to make it work.

- But what if we weren't
meant to be together?

What if she's meant to
be with somebody else?

What if she's my Alice?

- She's not.

When I married Alice I was 23, she was 21.

- I was 25.

What if I'm holding her back

from being with the guy
she's supposed to be with?

- The guy she's supposed
to be with is you, buddy.

- How do you know that though, Dad?

She'll just be miserable with me.

- I know Emily

and I know you.

She's not your Alice.

She's your Emily.

Go back to your wife.

- Hey, Gina.

I'm good, how are you?

Good, that's good.

Um, I was calling because I was,

Nathan's not doing so
good and I don't think

we'll be able to host
bible study this week

and I was wondering if
you and Cory wanna host.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, no that's totally fine.

Yeah, no, I understand.

Okay.

Yeah, he'll be fine.

Yeah.

Okay.

Talk to you soon, bye.

Hey, Amy, how's it going?

Good.

Listen, I'm calling because

I don't think we're gonna be able

to host bible study this week

and I was wondering if you
and Michael wanna host.

(birds chirping)

(door creaking)

Hi.

- Hi.

I wanted to talk to you.

- I wanna apologize.

I was being unreasonable

and I'm sorry.

It doesn't matter what you believe.

I love you.

And I miss you.

- I missed you too.

- Please come home.

- Emily,

when I married you

I made vows that I can't,

it's not fair.

- What're you saying, Nathan?

- You're not supposed to be with me.

There is someone out there
who is so much better for you.

- This is bullshit.

This is bullshit!

What're you doing, Nathan?!

- You deserve better.

- How can you say that?

- I know the kind of
husband that you need.

(sighing)

- Nathan,

I just want you.

- Emily, no.

No.

I can't.

I won't hurt you.

- No, Nathan, okay?

You ran out on your beliefs!

If you wanna be the cool writer

and be Fitzgerald or Hemingway, then fine!

You wanna go find yourself?!

You wanna blame me, blame me all you want

but you don't give up on us!

(somber music)

I love you

and you love me.

- I don't wanna hurt you.

- I won't let you.

- Hey, Genie, it's Nathan.

Yeah, I don't think I can come in today.

I think I got the
stomach flu or something.

Okay.

Okay, thank you, Genie.

Thank you.

I haven't used any of my sick days

and my writing is going really well.

- Oh, all right.

I forgot to tell you.

I was on a shoot the
other day for a magazine

and they had a job opening
that I think you'd really like.

- Yeah?

- Mhmm.

Travel writer.

Pretty much review coffee shops, bars.

You'd be on the road a lot

but you'd have a lot to write about.

- Hmm.

- You want me to tell them
that you're interested?

- Uh.

Maybe.

- What do you mean, maybe?

This is what you've always
talked about, right?

- I wanna write prose, not reviews.

- You would drink scotch
and then write about it.

- So?

- So that's awesome.

And that's what Hemingway would do.

- Hemingway also shot himself in the head.

- Right.

This came for you today.

Who's it from?

- Emily.

- Oooh.

- I have always wanted one of these.

Emily never let me have one

because she said it would
make me look like a hipster.

- She was absolutely right.

She was.

- I always wanted one of these.

Why does she think that
buying this for me now

is gonna solve our problems?

- She thinks it's romantic.

- Who asked you?

- You did.

You just did.

(laughing)

Come on, what?

- I can't do this with you right now.

- Oh yes you can.

Come on, boy.

(faint beat music)

- Thought I'd give scotch a try.

- You hate scotch.

- I wanted to give it another shot.

- All right.

- So which one of the sonnets
do you wanna start with?

- I have something to confess.

- Okay.

- I have never liked Shakespeare.

- Are you kidding?

Did you read any of the sonnets?

- No.

- Okay, that's okay.

So you never liked Shakespeare.

- I thought it made me look sensitive

and romantic.

- It did.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

We don't have to like the same writers.

- I still have the list
that I made for you.

- Now I'm confused.

See, you wrote that list before
you had your little crisis.

Do you even know what you
genuinely like anymore?

- I don't have multiple personalities.

I just said I liked Shakespeare.

- Which was a lie.

Any other lies you wanna confess to?

- I'll let you know.

- Okay.

- So what do you wanna read?

Nope, no, not Joyce.
(laughing)

- Come on, you asked.

- No, he is so boring.

It's just "Ireland this, Ireland that."

Blah, blah, blah.

- I put up with your books.

- No, you didn't.

You were supposed to read
Shakespeare's sonnets,

which you did not do.

- In my defense.

- Mhmm?

- I was being stubborn.

- Oh.

Then it's okay then.

- Thank you.

- I will read Joyce on one condition.

- All right.

- You read Narnia.

(groaning)

Come on, I'm reading your stupid book.

You know how much those mean to me.

- Narnia,

those books are for kids.

- Oh my God, no they're not.

And honestly, I think it
would be really good for you.

(groaning)

And you know my parents read
those to me when I was a kid

and I wanna do the same
for our children someday.

You don't wanna have kids.

- I don't know.

I haven't really thought about it.

Every time that we were talking about it,

I was just nodding.

- Have you really thought about

whether or not you wanna have children?

I mean, have you seriously considered it?

- When I think about the life that I want,

I don't see kids fitting into it.

- Do you know what really
pisses me off, Nathan?

When I first met you,

I thought you were the man of my dreams.

I felt so blessed by God.

"Thank you, Jesus, for
bringing him into my life."

And I have tried really hard to love you.

Hearing you say that makes it so hard.

- I don't know.

Maybe I could get behind the
idea of having kids someday.

- Oh, how sweet of you.

You would do that for me?

You would get behind having kids?!

Nathan, I don't want you to
maybe consider having children!

I want you to want to have
kids with me, your wife!

- I know that

this doesn't mean much.

But I'm sorry.

I'm sick of all the fighting.

Aren't you?

Can't we just have a
normal night tomorrow?

- Yeah.

(somber piano music)

(pleasant piano music)

(knocking)

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Come on in.

(paper crunching)

(faint beat music)

- Thanks.

- I can take your coat.

Hungry?

- You are so sexy.

- Thank you.

And you're very handsome.

- Handsome?

I call you sexy and you call me handsome?

You know how long it
took me to get into this?

- No.

You're sexy tonight too.

- See, now I think you're
just trying to make up

for being inconsiderate.

- No, no.

You are the sexy.

I promise.

- I don't believe you.

You're gonna have to prove it.

- That you're sexy?

- Oh, I know that I'm sexy.

You're just gonna have to
prove that you think I'm sexy.

- Oh, okay.

(faint beat music)

Yeah?

- Yeah.

- More wine?

(pleasant piano beat music)

(huffing)

Can we go in the bedroom?

Wait 60 seconds.

(sighing)

What the fuck is this?

What is this?

Nathan!

- Sorry.

- What the hell is wrong with you?!

You come in here, you dress like that

and you dance with me

and then you were gonna have sex with me

and then just say goodbye with this?!

- Sorry, I wasn't gonna come here--

- Oh, you're sorry!

- Emily, please.

- What?

You can't give up on us, Nathan.

- I'm not giving up on us!

You want me to be someone else!

Someone smarter, someone
kinder, someone better.

I will never be that person for you!

I will never believe in God!

I will never want children!

I will waste away being somebody I am not

so you can be happy!

I am not worth it!

- How could you say that?!

How could you say that
you're not worth it?!

I married you!
- Emily!

- And you insult me like that!
- Emily!

You need to let this go.

You need to grow up and
realize that this is dead.

- You are the one that
needs to grow up, Nathan!

Just because something is broken

doesn't mean that they just throw it away!

- Emily, if I wasn't a Christian,

you would've never married me.

We don't make any sense.

- No.

I love you.

Okay?

I love you so much.

- I love you too.

- I will always love you.

- I can't, I can't, I can't.
(Emily mumbling)

I can't.

- Please?
- Emily, no.

- Nathan, don't leave me!

Don't leave me, don't leave me!

Don't, Nathan, no!

No!

No!

Nathan, come back!

Nathan, please come back!

What the?!

Why would you do this?!

Why would you do this?!

Why would you do this to me?!

What were you thinking?

(sobbing)

(gasping)

Why did you do this?

You broke my heart.

He was my happiness

and now he's a stranger.

I can't do this anymore.

What do I do?

What do I do?

Okay.

Okay.

(muffled traffic commotion)

(sniffling)

(knocking)

- Hey.

What made you change your mind?

Goodbye.

(crying)

(sighing)

- Just doesn't make sense to me.

Does it make sense to you?

- No.

- How can you sit there like that?

How can you give up so easily?

- I'm not giving up.

- You divorced your husband,
Emily, I call that giving up.

- Calm down, Julia.
- No!

No, I won't stand for this.

What makes you think this
is the right thing to do?

- I told you.

- No, scripture doesn't justify it.

God doesn't allow it.

He would never let you give up.

- I'm not giving up!

Okay, I can't make Nathan
fall in love with me.

It's not up to me anymore.

I'm still his wife and
nothing can change that,

not even a legal document!

But he's gone.

And if he never comes back, then so be it.

He's free to make up his own decisions.

He's free to live his own
life the way he wants.

But if he wants to come back, he can.

This is the life that God wants for me.

- No.

This isn't right.

- Why don't you just go home?

I can't take another lecture, so just go.

(traffic commotion)

(somber piano music)

- You think you'll take
that interview now?

(phone chiming)

Someone's here.

Hello?

- [Julia] Is Nathan there?

- Uh, yeah, who's this?

- [Julia] It's Emily's sister.

- Oh, shit.

- She told me everything

and I've advised her as much as I can

but it's up to you now.

- Julia, it's--

- No, Nathan!

Don't tell me I'm too
young or too inexperienced

to know what I'm talking about.

- Julia!

She would be miserable with me.

- You don't know that.

- Do you understand how painful it is

to look her in the eye and tell her that

her husband doesn't want
to have kids with her?

- No.

I just...

(groaning)

Emily is turning into a nun
and you couldn't care less.

I feel like I'm the only sane one here.

- Wait,

she's becoming a nun?

- Well, she might as well.

- What do you mean?

- She married you, Nathan.

- What did she tell you?

- There's never gonna be anybody else.

- That's why I left.

I just want her to be happy.

- Well that's what I don't get.

It's almost as if she is not really happy

but she was at least content.

- This doesn't make any sense.

- She just wants to live her life.

Please, Nathan, just make things right.

- Why should I?

If that's how she wants to live her life,

then that's her problem.

Don't try to guilt trip me
into getting back with her.

That is why I left.

Do you understand?

I was pretending to be
someone else for her

because I was afraid she
wouldn't like who I really was.

And she doesn't!

The only way that this would work

is if I were to pretend
to be that guy again.

And I can't do that.

All right?

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I just,

I really loved you guys

and I'm gonna miss you.

(dramatic piano music)

(leaves rustling)

- [Nathan Voiceover] I
think I've experienced

all I can in Portland.

There's just so many cities
out there calling my name.

"Nathan, Nathan."

You know what I mean?

- [Man] Absolutely.

I'm an insufferable Anglophile.

England is always calling my name.

(chuckling)

- Why don't you move there?

- [Man] Eh.

Lose it's magic.

Some places you visit,
some places you live.

Well, I think we've
about covered everything.

Like I said before,

we really like the samples you sent us,

and I have to talk to my boss,

but I've got a good feeling.

- Cool.

Thank you.

- [Man] Oh,

I did have one last question.

Given the job description,

you automatically understand

that this is a traveling position.

So, I mean, we're gonna
need you in a lot of places

all the time.

Is your wife okay with that?

- Um.

(faint beat music)

(sniffling)

(rain pitter-pattering)

- Hey.

- Hi.

I talked to Julia.

- Sisters.

- She said you were becoming a nun.

- Yeah.

I don't need a husband to be happy.

And I don't need children.

If I expected my life
to turn out perfectly,

I'd never be happy.

- You astound me.

You live your life with this conviction

that I have never had.

I can't say that I didn't have my doubts

about walking away from God.

- Do you believe again?

- No.

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

(chuckling)

All I know is that I have never had

a belief or an unbelief

with as much conviction as you.

I envy that.

I'm broken by you.

I abandoned you and you still love me.

You conquered my heart.

(Emily sniffling)

I can say that my life
wouldn't be as worth while

without you in it.

You've always pushed

and I regret that I ever
resented you for that.

Because I need that.

I want that.

I want you.

Please.

Forgive me.

Can I be your husband?

(crying)

(sobbing)

(rain thudding)

I miss you.

- [Emily] I miss you.

- You know, I got a job offer.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah, for a magazine.

Cultural articles.

I would travel around North America

writing about bars

and restaurants, coffee shops.

Whatever.

- Did you respond?

- No.

I was thinking I should
tell them I can't do it.

- No.

I think you should

and I wanna come with you.

- Really?

- Seriously, I think we should do it.

What about the coffee shop?

Your sister.

I mean, your whole life is here.

- I know.

But I think it's time for a change

and I wanna go on an adventure with you.

- You wanna travel?

- Start agreeing with me or
I'm gonna change my mind.

(laughing)

- Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's do it!

I mean, they gave me
articles I could choose form.

Best new beers in San Francisco,

a steakhouse in Montana,

organic smoothies in Indianapolis,

cheese mongers of Wisconsin.

- Indianapolis.

- Oh God, that is a terrible idea.

- No, they say it's the new Portland.

- The new Portland?

What does that even mean?

- That's what I heard?

- I was thinking San Francisco.

- Eh.

- "Eh."

- Okay.

Wisconsin.

Cheese mongers?

We love cheese.

- Yeah, we do.

(pleasant piano music)

(upbeat music)

(pleasant piano music)

(upbeat music)

(somber music)