Emergency (2022) - full transcript

Don't do that.
Don't do that. Don't do that.

What's-what's wrong? What's the matter?

She like your big head.

She's craving that BBC.

Or small BC. I don't fucking know.

- I ain't seen your dick.
- Okay.

We are graduating in two months.

- Mm-hmm.
- And what-what am I gonna do,

just start something so we can break up?

I don't want to do that.

Mm, I'm sure you could just fuck, Le.



Look, we only gonna be living

30 minutes away from here next year.

Campus ain't gonna be that far.

You can just fuck. You can just fuck.

- You bitch!
- Whoa, whoa.

- Not-not you. Not you.
- No, oh, I'm-I'm so...

- I'm so sorry.
- No, not you. He did not...

- I am so sorry.
- What are you doing?

No, fucking Victor gave away our passes.

- Hey, look.
- Fucking dingleberry.

You called him a what?

- A dingleberry.
- Okay, calm-calm...

Dingle up your asshole,
because he ain't worth shit.

Okay, calm... calm down, calm down.



Look, you'll be able...
we'll figure it out.

Come on, let's just go.

- It's not the end of the world. It's okay.
- Shit.

- For you, it's not.
- We're okay.

Hi, class. Sorry I'm late.

Whew, goodness.

Okay, so if you've done the reading...

Which you should have...

You'd have noticed that there's
a big old trigger warning

next to the syllabus on today's class.

And I know that we're
inches away from spring break,

but if you could just maintain
your focus and respectability

till the end of the day,
I'll be most appreciative.

Okay, so we good to go?

- I found some extra tickets to Blackout.
- Really?

So we've been talking about

the power of language,

and today we're going to be
talking about hate speech.

Now, before I go any further,

I just feel like I need to restate

the trigger warning, so are we good?

- That's cute.
- Stop.

Yeah, okay, so let's
talk about the infamous...

...N-word.

The word "nigger" has had a
very long and terrible history.

It occupies a unique space in
the modern American vernacular.

The word's so taboo that it's
clearly making a lot of you

feel uncomfortable with me just
saying it right here right now

in a very isolated academic context.

Now, my question is to you lot:

What makes this word so powerful?

Anybody.

Yes.

I mean, because it's racist.

I think we could
all agree it is racist, yes.

But there are many racist,
offensive words.

What makes "nigger" different?

It originates from the Spanish...

Hey. Is that shit even allowed?

It's on the syllabus.

Um, there-there was a...
a trigger warning.

Trigger warning, these nuts.

- That shit is not right.
- And then, of course,

with an "A" at the end, we've got "nigga."

Bro, she keeps fucking saying it.

- Okay.
- She just said "nigga" three times.

But, uh, okay.

Well, what do you want me to do about it?

- Ask her. Inquire about it.
- I-m-I'm not asking her.

- Ask her, Kunle.
- I'm not gonna ask her.

You don't want to ask. Ask her.

She can't answer this question?

She's British.

May-Maybe she just doesn't know.

Give a fuck if she British, boy?

Ask her, why is she teaching a class

on some shit she don't know shit about?

I, um, don't want to put you two

on the spot or anything, but...

you must have something to say.

Please. This is a safe space.

What do you think it is that
keeps this word so powerful?

Look, it was...

Sean, if it bothered you so much,

you could have said something.

You could have said anything.
You didn't say a word.

You just... you just sat there.

Yeah, in silent protest.

- Okay, silent protest.
- Kunle?

Oh, shit. Okay, okay, um... act cool.

- Do I have anything in my nose? I'm okay?
- Kunle.

- Hey. Guys.
- Just be cool. Be cool, Sean. Be cool.

- Hi.
- Hey.

That was... ooh.

W-Weird.

Fucked-up is what it was.

- She should not have put you guys on the spot like that.
- No.

I'm on the Student Senate,
if you guys want to, like,

start a movement or something.

- Uh...
- But it's totally up to you.

Like, no pressure.

Yeah, no, no, no. No, pressure. We, um...

- We will think about it.
- Cool.

Yeah, uh...

So, uh, you...

So, you going out tonight, B?

Uh, for once, I am.

- Mm.
- Yeah, got a pass to Underground.

- Nice. Nice.
- Oh, shit.

Nice. That's really good.

Yeah. Are-are you guys?

Yeah. Yeah, we're just gonna go
to a couple parties and...

Cool.

Seven parties, actually.

Are you guys doing a Legendary Tour?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow, wow, wow.

It took me
three weeks of ass kissing

just to get into one.

- Oof.
- Lot of butt.

So... lot of butt.

- Oh, God.
- Lot of butt.

Good thing you didn't get pink eye.

From all the ass kissing.

Yeah, it's not really...
it's not really about

the, uh... the-the parties, though.

It's just this inside joke
that-that we've had

- since freshman year.
- Oh.

We actually are gonna be
the first Black men

to complete a Legendary Tour here
at Buchanan.

- Right.
- Is that...

like, something that people keep track of?

- Well, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

See, the Black Student Union,

right, they got this thing
called the Hall of Firsts.

You get a fancy plaque

any time that you are the first
Black person to do something

- here at Buchanan.
- Mm-hmm.

Like First Black Newspaper Editor.

First Black
Student Government President.

Also, they do things for stuff
that's not due to academics,

like First Black Man
to Step Foot in Omicron,

or first Black woman

to ever even make it
into the Hall of Firsts.

We're gonna make history today,

being the first Black men
to complete a Legendary Tour.

- Right.
- We're actually going to get

- our Blackout passes right now.
- Right.

- Cool. Text me.
- I'll te... I'll text you.

- Okay.
- Bye.

Bye.

She wants your dick, bro.

No, she's just being nice.

Yeah, she is being nice... to your dick.

Wait, okay, on-on the other hand,

it's a class about blasphemy and taboos.

Like, it's literally called
Blasphemy and Taboos.

- Mm-hmm.
- If we got her fired,

would that be censorship?

'Cause I'm against censorship.

That was some willy-nilly-ass shit.

Like, she didn't have to say it.

She just wanted to. She wanted a reaction.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

But that was kind of the point, right?

To analyze us.

She wants to analyze
why we reacted that way.

Like, why is it so bad?

Think about this. So, there's a white man.

He's in the woods alone, all right?

He says the N-word. Is it bad?

Wait, your white man goes to the forest

- just to say the N-word?
- Well, no, no. He's never...

He... Okay, think about it.
He's never said it before.

- Uh-huh.
- He will never say it again.

And he doesn't hate us.
He's not, like, that type.

He just wants to just
whisper it quietly to himself.

You, just, you know...

"Nigger."

It's fucked-up, dummy.

- What?
- What? That's fucked...

You're such an Oreo, trying to justify it.

I'm not... I'm not a...

- Okay, think about this...
- Look, look, look. Look, calm down.

You're thinking about it
too much, all right?

It's not that complicated.

We got one rule that we ask
for white people to respect.

- Mm-hmm.
- Thou shalt not say this one word.

- Right?
- Right.

But they don't like for us
to tell them what to do.

So they find loopholes.

So when your white man says
"nigger" in the forest,

he breaketh the covenant, all right?

It's not, like, evil-evil,

like, you know, "rawr,"

but it's disrespectful.

- Right.
- Anybody ever called you a nigger?

You call me "nigga" all the time.

No, nigga, not like that. I mean, like...

To your fucking face.

Yeah, I don't know, like, online,

people say the word, like...

No, not-not online.

Like, disrespectful,
right here to your face.

No.

Oh, well, fuck it.

I just can't go too hard tonight.

I have to be back here
really early in the morning

to check my cultures.

You sound like a young mom, Le.

Them like your little fungus babies.

They are the bacteria.

And yes, they are my little babies.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, who's gonna get Daddy published?

Hmm? Who? We are.

Yes, you are.

What?

You think maybe you should, I don't know,

work on your thesis this week?

'Cause your paper will not write itself.

- Hey, look, it's a break.
- I'm just saying.

- It's a break, Kunle.
- I'm just saying.

Spring break. "Break."

That's what it means, all right?

I got like three weeks
till it's due anyway, so...

I'm good.

Okay, but...

Yeah, I'm doing it.
No, I'm saying it. Look.

Three weeks is nothing.

If we can't get into all seven parties,

it's not the end of the world,

but it will be the end of the world

if you do not graduate.

Okay, do not downplay what the fuck

we doing tonight, all right?

We are making history.

- Get your priorities straight, Kunle.
- -My pri...

- Okay. All right, all right.
- Get your priorities straight.

All right.

What is this?

Oh, Jesus.

- Wh-What is this?
- It's death punch.

We got to get a buzz, bitch.
We on a schedule, all right?

I'm gonna be back.
Hurry up with all this shit.

And finish that little bottle.

- "Little bottle"?
- Finish it!

There's, like, a whole lot in here.

I am not drinking that.

Here you are, bruh.

Yes, yes. Thank you.
I really fucking owe you one.

Yeah, yeah, of course you do.
You actually got lucky.

I was about to give those
to a cute freshman chick.

Oh, my bad.

Bruh, we were getting attached,
and then she want to say,

"Oh, look, I got a boyfriend."

And it's just, are you serious?

Like, I'm getting emotional.
I'm an emotional person.

But, I mean, I don't care at this point

because I can just do my own thing

until, you know, she's done with her man,

- Mm-hmm. Word, word.
- But your future ex.

- All right, I'll see you tonight.
- Yeah, yeah, but...

- Yeah, so... Yeah.
- Thank you again.

Hey, Asa. Asa, hey.

Wait, where you gonna be tonight?

- Equinox and Underground.
- Yeah?

Okay, well, me and Kunle, too.

We're finally gonna finish
our Legendary Tour, thanks.

- Mm, for real?
- Mm-hmm.

Sounds intense and possibly ill-advised.

Well, "intense and possibly ill-advised"

is the tag line for our night,
so that works for me.

Well, as your friend, I just
want to say for the record

maybe you should take it easy.

I can't, because
we're making history, but...

No, I'm serious, though.

You don't...
You didn't have to do all that.

Look, you're gonna do
what you're gonna do.

Just don't be dragging Kunle
into some bullshit.

That boy is Black excellence,

and there's still hope for him.

Bye, Sean.

Your anti sent you a package.

Did you get it?

Oh, oh, I, uh...
I-I haven't been home yet.

Remember to call her and say thank you.

I told her you got into Princeton

and you'll be doing your PhD there.

Now she is telling everyone
you're going to be a doctor.

I didn't have the heart to tell her

- it's not that kind of doctor.
- Ah.

Well, uh, technically,
I still will be a doctor,

just not of medicine.

It's not too late to go to med school.

- Mama. Mama.
- You would be a wonderful cardiologist.

Boom, bitch!

You ready to fucking party?

- Party?
- Oh.

Kunle, what party?

- Oh, shit.
- No, it's not a party.

No, it's not a party. It's just Sean and I

hanging out with some friends tonight.

Why are you going to a party?

You should be working on your thesis.

I'm-I'm working on it.

I am literally in the lab
working on it right-right now.

I don't like that Sean boy.

He is a bad influence.

Undisciplined.

On his Instagram, he's always vaping.

Tell him that vaping
is bad for his health.

You don't vape, do you?

No. It's bad for you.

Oh, I have a patient.

I have to go. Remember to call Anti.

Okay. Okay. Bye, Mom.

Eh-huh.

Sean! My mom told me to tell you

that vaping is bad for you,

so please block her on Instagram.

No.

I'm actually fucking scared of your mama.

I feel like she'll call me

and make me unblock her if I did.

Now, come here. Let me show you this.

What is it?

Okay, this is a lot.

I know it is, but pay attention
to what I'm about to say.

Our Legendary Tour.

Look, we're gonna start at Blackout,

and then we're gonna head east, all right?

Now, Blackout...

This is essential.

Gonna have an ice luge,

so we need to make sure
that we get there early

before it gets all gross and shit.

I don't like backwash.

Play two rounds of beer pong,

and then we head our beautiful
asses over to the Green Room.

The Green Room, we don't use front doors.

We go at the side door.

Give 'em the password,
get escorted upstairs,

have a great fucking time.

At the Green Room,

you do not eat any of
the baked snacks, all right?

Unless you want to be high
out your motherfucking mind.

Trust me, I would know.

Now, steps three through five,
we have to get through quick.

Zeta Eta Theta.

I know it's lame, but we got to do it.

Omicron Phi Kappa.

They're ABC.

It means "anything but clothes."

It could get interesting.

From there, we go for a little refill stop
at Tri-Phi, right?

All energy drinks is what we need

to then make it to number six:

Equinox.

Asa's gonna be there.

Wait.

You guys are talking again?

Yep.

Like-like friends talking,
or are you, like...

We'll see.

And then down to the last and the final
and the best one:

Underground.

Then you take Bianca home,

I take home an even more
attractive young lady,

and that is our night.

Any questions?

Oh, yeah. Did you get
an extra pass for Carlos?

Kunle, no,

I did not get an extra pass
for Carlos, bro.

It was already hard enough
to get two passes.

I'm not wasting a fucking favor
on Winnie-the-Pooh, all right?

What would he even be like if he went?

Huh? Think about it.

The fanny pack. I already know. Yeah...

He gonna insist on wearing
that fucking fanny pack.

But it's his thing.
This is... it's his attire.

He'd probably scare off every woman
within like a hundred-mile radius

by offering 'em a fucking granola bar.

I don't have time
for that type of stuff, okay?

He's been playing video games
since his class yesterday.

He actually hasn't left his room yet.

We probably won't see Carlos
for like the rest of the week.

Oh, shit. Come on, come on.

- What?
- It's 7:00. We need to go.

Pregame, and we got to get food.

Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming.

Let's fuck it up!

Let's fuck it up, man.

Oh, shit.

- What?
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

- Did I lock it?
- What?

Did... No, did I... did I lock it?

My-my-my-my cultures.

I forgot to lock the fridge.

- Oh, um, I got to go back.
- Hey!

Hey, what the fuck is you doing?

- Yes.
- We only got 30 minutes to go pregame

and then make it to Blackout, all right?

Can't you just call one of our lab mates

- and have them do that?
- No, no, no, no.

I need to lock it closed with
the key or else it comes open.

Just... they-they can jam it
with a fork or some shit.

What are you talking about,
"a fork or some shit"?

- Well...
- Wh-What are you talking about?

Just until tomorrow, Kunle.

- Calm the fuck down.
- This is my thesis.

- Okay, I understand.
- All right?

My cultures need to be at the
right temperature and humidity,

or else they will die.

Can't-can't we just skip the pregame?

No. You never skip the pregame, fool.

It's just gonna fuck up
the whole schedule, Kunle.

Okay, okay. Um, you just go without me,

and I will meet you there.

- I'll meet you there.
- Fucking...

No, I... look, I'ma take you, okay?

But we only gonna have
five minutes when we get back

to pregame, change and leave, okay?

Okay, cool.

I can make us a Ginnamon Toast Crunch.

It sounds weird, but it is delicious.

Like, we were in the house
one night, and we were baked,

but all we had was the alcohol
and the cereal, and...

Mother... I know damn well
he didn't leave

- this fucking door open again.
- Hey, hey.

Don't go in there yelling, okay?

Carlos!

Hey! Motherfucker,
my PS4 better still be here.

All right, I got the game.

It's cool.

Yeah?

And my shoes.

I got the weed.

Okay.

Okay.

Anything missing out there?

Um...

Everything here except
Winnie-the-fucking-Pooh.

- So I'm gonna hide his weed...
- Sean. Sean.

What?

The fuck?

Okay, um...

Okay.

Hello? Hello.

Hey, yo, wake up!

Hey! Wake up!

- Okay, okay.
- What the fuck?

Um...

No, hey! Don't touch her.

This could possibly be a crime scene.

Well, we need... Uh, w-w...

Okay. Okay, she's-she's alive.

She's breathing.

Her-her pulse is fast,
but her breathing is slow.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right. Um...

Okay.

We should call...
we should call 911.

Carlos.

Kunle.

Kunle, I'm too high for this shit.

What if he's dead, bro?

- He's not dead. He's not dead.
- All right. Okay.

Go look.

Go see. Go check. Go do whatever.

Okay. Come on.

Me and you, me and you,
me and you, me and you.

I'm-I'm right behind you.
Right behind you.

- You're right behind me?
- Motherfucker, just go!

Los?

Okay.

Hey.

Carlos?

Hey. Hey, hey.

Jesus.

- You got me.
- Right.

I'm-I'm presently at war with the Russians

and the Persian Empire,
so shit is about to get… -Okay.

Okay, but do you know the girl out here?

Hold on a second. Wait.

Look.

- Hey, hey.
- This is a single-player game.

- You can pause.
- Mess up my sensitivity.

Now, there's a girl on...

Ah, girl problems, huh?

What, is it Bianca? Is it someone I know?

What-what's going on?

Ew.

There is an unconscious
white girl in our living room.

What?

Hey, hey, Kunle!

Kunle, Kunle, she's throwing up!

Oh, hey, hey, Kunle!

Kunle, she erupting.

She throwing, bro. She throwing up.

Who-who is she?

We-we don't know.

Where's Maddy?

Hey. Hey, hey. What'd you say?

What-what... what did you say?

Can you go tell her I feel really weird?

Ooh, no, no. Come on, come on, come on.

Hey, stop touching.

- Stop touching.
- No, I cannot stop touching.

Look, we have to keep her on her side.

All right? Or else she could
inhale vomit and die.

Look, just trust me.
I'm first aid certified.

That's... Okay.

Hey, what's your name?

What's your...

Okay. All right, um...

We should call 911, right?

- Yes...
- No, no. Hey, stop. -Yes.

- What? What?
- Stop. Are you fucking crazy?

Do you not know what they'll think

when they come and see this?

They're gonna shoot us and arrest us

for killing this little white girl.

Shoot us and arrest us?

- Yes.
- Come on, man.

- We didn't do anything wrong.
- Hey, hey, stop, stop, stop.

Okay, listen.

What the fuck are you...

We don't have to do nothing wrong, Kunle.

Just be in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

Which we are!

Down white girl.

House that reeks of weed.

Your fingerprints and DNA
are all over her, Touchy Tim.

And, Carlos, you were here
the whole fucking time.

What's your alibi, huh?

Uh...

Guys, we're just gonna tell 'em
we came home...

- Kunle. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- She was on the floor.

They not gonna listen, all right?

The cops don't know that you're
basically white on the inside.

- Don't start that right now...
- What? I'm being honest.

Bitch, that's honest information.
Don't get mad.

They're not gonna listen.

They're just gonna come in here
and see three Brown guys

hanging over this little white girl.

Do y'all not see how fucked that is?

Perhaps we could persuade a friend

to call 911 for us.

Someone a-a little less, um... you know.

What, Brown?

So a white person.

A female would be preferable.

Um, we could... we could call Bianca.

I mean, she cool,
but she don't know all of us that well.

Okay, who knows us?

Um... Asa.

I would rather not put my life
in the hands of my ex.

Plus, she a Black queen.
We need a white girl.

Um...

It's funny, I-I-I...

I don't know too many
of my white female peers.

It's troubling.

Um...

Oh, oh, we-we could call

- White Sean, the football player.
- Ooh...

Football players never get
in trouble, right?

White Sean, White Sean.
Ooh, come on, White Sean.

Come on.

Oh, what's up, Sean?

Hey, hey, White Sean.

- Where are you?
- Uh, I'm actually on

a microbrewery tour with my mom.

- So you're not on campus?
- Nah.

- Fuck.
- You know, you know, man, I didn't think I'd like this...

Um, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, got to go.

Okay, who else can we call?
Come on, come on, come on.

Brian Phan?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Asians... they, like,
fucking neutral to police.

No. Brian is in Cabo for break.

Oh, fuck, y'all,
we are one percent of the school.

How the fuck don't we know
any white people?

Maybe we just over thinking right now.

Hey. Hey, yo!

Yeah, there she go.

Hey. You got anybody
that you want us to call?

Or, like, a-a friend or
a phone or something?

She cannot be on her back.

- Okay, okay, all right, all right.
- The touching.

- It's the touching.
- Come on, come on.

Okay, so what do we know? What do we know?
What do we know?

This girl got drunk
and came here on accident.

Like Goldilocks.

And we're the three bears.

Please don't. Please don't.

Let's... leave it alone. Leave it alone.

Don't-don't...

All right, and look at what she's wearing.

Anything but clothes.

She was at Omicron.

We could just take her ass back.

And do what?

What, just-just walk in with her?

No, not walk in with her.

Lay her outside where somebody
can find her and help her.

Your plan is to dump the unconscious girl

outside of the frat party?

Yeah.

No, no. No, you right.

- Nah. It's not...
- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

- Somebody... Yeah, somebody... People could see us.
- Yeah.

Draw conclusions, all that bad shit.

Drunk people, lots of eyes.

- Yeah.
- That's difficult.

Also, fellas, she's fucking unconscious.

We can't just leave her somewhere.

- Right? Right?
- Okay. Okay. Okay. -CARLOS: Right.

What the fuck is wrong with you two?

What, you got a better idea?

Yes. We call 911.

Or we could just let her sleep it off.

Okay? I've been this drunk before.

- Y'all know that shit.
- Yeah. He always wakes up.

Come on,
you know I've been this drunk before.

We don't even know if she's drunk.

What if she's, like, roofied?

Why'd you have to come here, huh?

Why'd you have to come here?

'Cause it was just right.

It's not hot, it's not too cold.

It was just right.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Fuck this. Fuck this.

This not my problem.

What the fuck?
I mean, this not our problem.

This is our problem.

She is already in our house.

- Yeah, because you don't know how to lock the door, Carlos.
- What?

- We've talked about this shit.
- Okay. All right, all right, look, look.

Why wouldn't you just let me call 911?

Now w-we've waited too long,

it's gonna look weird
that we haven't called.

Well, then it's a good thing
that we're not calling, Kunle.

We got to do something.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, shit.

Okay, hey.

- Fuck this.
- All right.

I'm-I'm doing it. I'm calling 911.

- Don't. Kunle, do not call 911, all right?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait...

- Call 911, right? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
- Don't do it. Don't grab it.

Ah, you nasty bitch.

- You nasty.
- All right.

That's…
You should've just left it there.

- Just leave it there.
- Ew. Ew.

- We all use that blanket.
- Kunle, Kunle, look.

- Hey, look, I'm so serious.
- I'm calling 911.

- Sean, Sean.
- Do not... Shut up. Shut up.

- Get the fuck off of me, Sean!
- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

- I'm serious.
- Make me. Shut up.

- Get off of me.
- No.

- Put the phone down, Kunle.
- Los?

Lower the phone.

What if... what if...

we take her to the hospital?

All right? Just say that we found her.

It's the truth.

That's actually not a bad idea.

I apologize for getting in your circle.

Hospital's not too far.

It's like, what, ten minutes?

This will take us thir...
a half hour, tops.

Um, I still need to get back
to the lab, but I think

that we'll have enough time
to make it to Blackout.

- Wait, Blackout?
- Fu...

Did y… Are we going to Blackout?

Excuse my French, but fuck yes.

I am most assuredly gonna need
a drink after all this.

Right. Right, so, uh...

We don't want to give 'em
a reason to stop us,

so we need to change, all right?

No hats, no hoodies.

No weird shit, Carlos, all right?

What, Saturn?

Everything you have on
right now, all right?

Kunle, we're gonna need
to borrow some of your clothes.

- My stuff?
- Yeah, the whole substitute teacher look.

It's...

That's fair. That's fair. Okay.

Shit.

She a little heavy.

Shotgun.

Perhaps Goldilocks
should eat something.

I got some granola bars.

Ready to do this?

Emma? Emma!

- Hey, what the fuck!
- Shit. Sorry.

Oh, my God. Fuck you, don't.

Alice.

- Oh, my...
- Alice, have you seen Emma?

No, not since we got here.

Okay, well, can you see her from up there?

Turn this way.

- Turn?
- Yeah.

Mm...

No.

Just, like, call her or something.

I called her, Alice. I'm not an idiot.

Okay. Geez.

- Okay. Okay.
- Do you want to...

Just put me down.

Sorry, what's going on?

What?

I don't know you.
I want to talk to my friend.

Okay, just one second, okay?

Okay. Um, wh, um...

Do you remember where you last saw her?

She was playing...

- beer pong with some people.
- Beer pong. Okay.

With some people,
but that was a long time ago.

- A long time ago?
- So I don't remember.

How-how long ago? Like-like half an hour?

Uh, it was like an hour
or maybe two, actually.

Two hours, Maddy?

She could literally be anywhere.

- I know!
- Okay. Okay.

- Okay.
- Uh, so who are we looking for?

- Who the fuck are you? Why...
- No, no. Maddy.

- Why do you keep coming back?
- Maddy.

This is Rafael.

- He's from my Arab-Israeli conflict seminar.
- Yo.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I know.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Hi. I didn't...
I thought you were some ran do.

- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
- Okay, um...

She's probably still here
somewhere, right?

Like, literally, who...
who are you looking for?

My sister, Emma.

She's pretty.

Sean.

You're driving too slow.

No, I'm not. It's fine.

Okay, driving too slow looks weird.

- Sean!
- What?

- Sean.
- What?! Yo!

Sean, look.

Oh, shit! Whoa, whoa, shit.

It looks like a sobriety checkpoint.

- Oh, uh, uh...
- You are just throwing shit.

- I'm sorry. I'm-I'm... Yeah.
- How dr...

Dude, how drunk are you?

I ain't really drunk, like, at all.

I'm good.

I'm high as a giraffe ass, though,
I ain't gonna lie.

I'm pretty up there.

Then why are you driving?

I drive high all the time, bitch.

- Shut up.
- Okay, pull over. Pull o...

- For what? For what?
- I'll drive.

- I'll drive because you're high as a kite.
- All right. Okay.

- Or high as a giraffe's ass, as you say.
- Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, hey. Okay. Okay.

Shit.

It's gonna take us even longer now.

Just pull...

All right, okay, okay. Goddamn.

You always make the biggest
fucking thing out of nothing.

This is Omicron, right?

Which is, if I may point out,

much closer than the hospital.

Okay, look, look, look.

We can hide over there.

See?

That little dark area?

And then just tell somebody,
they can help her, right?

You'd like that, wouldn't you, Goldie?

I would love that, Sean.

That's such a great fucking idea.

Oh, my God, you're a genius.

She-she opened her eyes. I mean...

- Opened her fucking eyes.
- Mm-mm. No.

No, no, no, no.

No, we're not just going to dump her

somewhere that's...
Look, that's not right.

It's-it's... We're not dumping her, okay?

We're just returning her
from whence she came.

That's it.

Somebody gonna find her,
get her some help.

Then we can leave, go save your little

fucking babies or whatever
the fuck you want to call them,

and then get on with our lives, Kunle.

Okay.

- Stealth mission is a go.
- Okay.

One of us has to go over there

and-and act like a lookout,

make sure that no one interferes
with the plan.

Mm, yeah. Kunle, go see if it's clear.

Okay, okay. Let-let's get in position.

I see him. That's it.

Omicron!

Oh, oh, oh.

- Abort. Abort, abort, abort, abort, abort.
- Shit. What the fuck?

How's it going?

Yes.

Come on.

Shit.

Hey!

Hey, they're pissing on our sacred totem!

What the fuck?

These Gamma Tau bitches
keep pissing on our totem, bro.

Gamma Tau!

Oh, yeah? Hey!

Oh, yeah, you fucking pussy!

- Oh, yeah, you fucking run!
- Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Sean! Carlos!

- Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Okay. The fuck!

Go fuck yourself!
- Get out of here!

Whoa! Hey!

Hey, mother fuck...

Fuck you, bitch!
- Fuck you!

Go fuck yourself, bitch!

What the fuck happened?

Why are they throwing shit at my van?

'Cause they…
they thought I was from Gamma Tau.

Racist fuckers.

I don't know if it was racism.

There was this... this dude...

Shut up. Shut up.
Wh-What are you talking about?

Just...

All right, all right, just...
right here, like that.

All right? Like Professor X.

Great. Um...

Want some orange sports drink?

It has no fruit juice,
and it's only 80 calories.

Come on, drink up.

Look, I told you that was a bad idea.

We should've just gone
straight to the hospital.

You know what, pull over. I'll drive.

- There you go.
- You don't even have a fucking seat belt on!

- No, no, no. Hmm. -
- SEAN: Man, I never got a seat belt on!

- Let's just get through this. Calm down.
- No, no.

- Pull over, Sean. Pull over.
- Calm-calm the fuck down.

What you gonna do?

- Nothing. Exactly.
- Sean, pull over.

Shut your dumb ass up.
You ain't gonna do nothing.

- Sean.
- I need to pee.

Pull over.

- I should drive.
- Guys? Guys, uh...

I believe Goldilocks needs to urinate.

Um, she better not pee
in my motherfucking van.

I don't know if she's gonna
be able to hold it. Maybe...

- She better not pee in my car.
- Maybe you should pull over.

I got it. I got it, Kunle.

Get her out my van. Get her out my van.

All right.

Yeah.

Uh, how about that?
You-you pee right here?

- There you go.
- This is good.

- We looked everywhere.
- No, Maddy,

we have not looked everywhere.

And what are you gonna do,
call the cops right now?

We are underage.

Does she have, like,
a Find My Friends or something?

We can... we can track her on your phone.

I don't know. I haven't tried that.

There she is.

Wait. That's literally like
a couple blocks from here.

- What the fuck?
- Okay, okay, maybe she just got lost,

so we can go get her.

And I could go with you guys if you want.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
You don't have to do that.

Nah, nah, I mean, like, I-I want to.

Also, if you go a little further,

this neighborhood's, like,
kind of sketchy.

Hold this.

I am so sorry.

It's all good.

I'm so fucked.

- I'm so fucked.
- Can't you just...

grow more bacteria?

No.

No, no, I...

I mean, you already got into Princeton.

Can they un-admit you?

Yes, yes, they can.

Hey, can you just, like,
not mention Princeton?

Or just around Sean, please.

Wait, I mean, you mean you haven't
already told him?

- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- I mean,

he-he thinks you're
living together next year.

Okay, okay, well, maybe
he shouldn't just assume that.

Yeah, yeah, but it's rather uncouth
to just let him go and keep assuming.

No, you're right, you're right.

Whoo. Yeah, you did it. Whoo, yes.

Whoa. Whoo.

- Come on.
- Can y'all please hurry up?

- This fucking lady watching us.
- What lady?

Hmm-mm.

Get up.

- I'm driving.
- What?

You're paranoid... because you're high.

Which is exactly why
you shouldn't be driving.

Okay. Whatever. Okay.

I ain't gonna worry about anything, am I?

Yeah.

Hey, um, the taillight's busted.

What?

- We gonna die.
- No, we are...

- No. What?
- We gonna die, bro.

- Hey. No, no, no, no.
- Oh, we gonna die tonight.

Don't do this. Don't do this.
Please don't do this right...

We gonna die. We gonna die, Kunle.

We get pulled over, we die, Kunle.

- Look...
- We call the police, we die, Kunle.

- Okay, look, Sean, Sean, Sean.
- We breathe the wrong way,

- we die, Kunle.
- Okay, look, Sean.

This isn't good,
but panicking does not help.

Calm down. Look, hey, man,
look at me. Look at me.

- Okay.
- Think about it statistically.

How many people actually
get shot by the cops?

It's, like, really,
really unlikely, right?

- A lot, Kunle.
- No, no, no.

- What the fuck are you talking about?
- No, no, no, no, no.

No, it's really, really unlikely.

I mean, do you know anyone
who's actually been shot by the police?

- I don't know anybody. -CARLOS: No.
- Yes.

My cousin.

Geez, man. I'm sorry.

- Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't...
- Is he...?

He wasn't doing anything...
Just minding his business,

hanging with a friend,
playing Call of Duty.

And they just showed up
for-for... for no reason?

Well, his friend was trapping
a little bit.

- His friend was trapping a little bit.
- God.

The cops came in,

kicked the gor... door down.

I mean, they say he scared 'em,
and they shot him, all right?

Shot him right in his ass, man.

Oh, you motherfuckers
are some assholes.

That's not funny.

He got to wear a colostomy bag now.

- Oh.
- You ever boo-boo in a bag?

No.

He might've did some fucked-up shit,
but that don't mean

that he deserved that.
Like, come on, y'all.

- Okay, no, he didn't,
-Guys.

- But what do you want to do?
- Guys.

Incoming.

Hey, we can see
what you're doing out here,

and we don't tolerate that
in this neighborhood.

We saw you.

You need to get out of here.

And you don't need to be selling drugs.

- We're leaving. -Get out.
- Look, look, look.

- We're-we're not doing anything wrong.
- Please get your phone out of my face.

- We just had some car issues.
- I said get out.

We already put your picture up

on the Good Neighbor app.

- They're leaving.
- Yeah, let 'em go.

Come on.

- I got… I got it all.
- Yeah.

Her pin's moving again.

It looks like she's in that car.

She seriously thought
we were drug dealers.

What if she called the cops?

What if we get pulled over?
What if we get pulled over?

What if we get pulled over?

Sean, what do we do?

Look, Terence got an extra car
that we can use, okay?

He live around the corner. It's not far.

Are you sure there's just not just, like,

one other, like... maybe your aunt.

We can go to your aunt's house.

Just make this left up here. Don't be...

Don't be fucking nervous.

He's the closest?

No, no, no. Hey, hey.
You stay here with her.

Come on, Kunle.

It...

It's all spinning.

Here. Here.

Hydrate or die-drate.

All right, there you go.

Go, go, go, go.

- What's up?
- Oh.

Baby Sean.

What are you doing here?

I need to see my brother.

- Uh, he's up in here somewhere.
- Yeah.

- Hey, who's your friend?
- That's Kunle.

Hey, I'ma be back. Try to go find Terence.

- Okay. You want me...
- Stay here.

You want me to st... I'll stay here.

Malik, bro.

Oh, uh, Kun-Kunle.

Kunle.

So, Baby Sean's friend from school?

Yes, yes, we're, uh, we're roommates.

You all call him Baby Sean?

Hell yeah.

Old baby face having ass.

Yo, sit your butt down, bro.

For real, sit down.

- Sit down!
- Sit your ass down, man. Damn.

Here you go, bro. Relax.

Smoke?

- You're in college, bro.
- No. No, thank you.

You look like you could use a smoke.

I'm-I'm okay.

Where's, uh...

Where-where's... where's your restroom?

Come on, T. Please, man.

It's an emergency, all right?

Kunle's grandmother, man,
she's on her deathbed.

You ain't driving my car, nigga.

Look, Kunle gonna drive.

Please, T.

Where the hell are we?

This is, like... this is the hood, guys.

Hey, Maddy, could you just,
like, pedal for a second?

- I'm getting really tired.
- No, no, I can't.

My knees are super bad.

Plus, we're super close.

Hey. Can you, uh...

Can you tell me your name?

I'm Carlos.

What's... what's your name?

E-Emma.

Emma?

I just... I-I need... I need you
to stay awake for me.

Can you... can you do that?

- Want some granola?
- No.

No? Okay, that's-that's fine.

Um, uh, what's your major?

I'm a mechanical aerospace engineer,

aka, uh, um, a rocket scientist.

You know, the-the...

Serious. Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Stay awake.

You like, uh... you like outer space?

Rockets?

Stuff like that?

It's always been a-a dream of mine
to go to Mars someday.

Would you like to go to Mars?

Emma?

Emma, um...

what year are you?

In school... what-what year are you?

Twelfth-th...

Tw-Twelfth.

Twelfth?

Wait, y-you... y-you mean like...

like you're in high school?

Uh-oh, shh.

Shh.

My sister, she told me not to say.

She hates me.

- She…
- CARLOS: No, no, no.

She doesn't want
to hang out with me.

No, no, it's all right.

- It's all right. Uh...
- She hates me.

Hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no, no.

She doesn't hate you.

She likes you.

She told me.

- Sh-She did?
- Yeah.

Yeah, she told me. Isn't that...

It's-it's all right, okay?

It's all... it's all good.

I mean, she doesn't really...

take me anywhere, ever.

But it's fine.

We'll grow out of it,

'cause, like, sisters are forever,
you know?

Pay you a hundred dollars.

:
Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Yo, people out here, man!

I'm sorry.

Man, was you, like,
hiding in the bathroom?

No.

No.

- What? What? No.
- Okay. Okay. Okay, look.

Oh, shit. Yeah, nice.

Guys?

You guys?

Yo, what are you doing out of the van?

Get back outside.

- She was drinking this.
- Oh.

Oh, shit, that is...

- Death punch.
- Death punch?

Why is it called death punch?

Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa. Oh, God.

Whoa!

Hey, hey, Terence. Sorry.

What the hell is going on?

Oh, uh, okay, so-so-so...

we found this girl,
and we don't know who she is.

Actually, actually, her name's Emma,

- and she just told me that she's in high school.
- Shit!

- What?
- What the fuck?!

Nope!

No! Hell no!

- Nope, nope, nope.
- Get the weed, nigga!

- Grab the weed, nigga!
- Hell no.

- That's shit right there.
- Come on.

She not gonna get me hung.

Here. Oh, God. Okay.

So y'all found a passed-out,

possibly roofied white child
in your house,

got her even drunker,

and you thought it'd be a good idea
to bring her to my house?

Sean, you know I'm on parole,
and you lied to me.

Kunle, is your grandma even dying?

I'm sorry. We just tried to help her.

Give me my keys.

Give 'em to me!

We got to actually go to the hospital.

- Man, Kunle…
- TERENCE: Not in my car, you don't.

- Here. Just take 'em.
- Yo, ey.

- What you doing?
- Look, we don't have time to argue, Sean.

We got to go now. Come on, Carlos.

You can't go with them.

Have you lost your damn mind?

If something happens to that girl,
they'll be fine.

Even if they get caught,
they'll be fine probably.

You won't be.

Isn't Kunle rich?

Ain't his family fucking dentists
or some shit?

Sean?

Sean.

Let them handle it.

Wait, guys.
Guys, it says she's somewhere here.

- Look.
- Huh?

Which house is it? I can't tell.

You know what?

You two stay here.

I'm gonna go check it out.

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

Are y'all lost?

No, no, we're good.

We're good. Um...

Thank you. Have a good night.

Girl, there's a white boy out here
with a sheet on.

What?

- I'm not driving until you put your seat belt on.
- Emma!

Okay, I'm putting-I'm putting
my seat belt… I'm putting my seat belt on.

- I need to hear it click. I need to hear it click.
- "I need to hear it click"?

- Wow. You heard the fucking click?
- Emma!

Thank you. And now we're off.

Emma! Emma!

Emma!

Emma!

We can take the back roads,

through the woods.

It's a bit longer, but...

nobody goes that way,
and we probably won't get pulled over.

- "Probably"?
- We need to get her to the hospital now.

Shit, at this point,

we just gonna have to speed run
the fucking tour.

- Hey, good shit. -Okay.
- I'm sorry, did you want to drive?

Oh, wait, you can't,
because you've literally

been drinking and smoking pot
since 3:00 p.m.

Yes, I have.

Apologies.

I should've just assumed
this highly unlikely situation

would've just fucking happened.

Guys, guys, okay.

Can we just take a calming breath

and remember that we're all
on the same team here?

Anybody want a granola bar?

Carlos, please,
stop with the fucking granola bars, okay?

Don't nobody want
no fucking granola bar, Carlos.

I just want to get this over with.

Just want to make sure
we didn't kill this girl,

save my cultures and...
just go the fuck to sleep.

And the Legendary Tour?

I'm mean...

I've still got energy.

You two should just go without me.

I'm not really in the mood anymore.

Can you make sure she's okay, please?

On it.

Yeah, I think that was
the license plate. I don't...

So your sister got in a car

with three Black or Latino men
that you didn't recognize...

What do you... what do you mean?
What do you mean?

You said one of them opened the door
and she climbed in the car.

Do you have reason to believe
she was coerced?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Why... why would she get in a random car

with three fucking guys
that she doesn't even know?

- She's 17.
- Ma'am, I'm just trying to understand your emergency.

Oh, uh, actually,
it feels like you're trying to say

that I'm racist or something,
and I'm really not,

- so I don't really know what you're trying to do.
- Maddy...

My sister needs help.

Are you intoxicated, ma'am?

How does that... How does...
Wait, how does that matter?

- How does that even matter?
- Okay, Maddy, give me the...

- I saw what I saw!
- Maddy. Hi. I'm so sorry.

- My-my friend is just a little bit upset
-Give me the phone. Give me it.

- Because it's her sister.
- Uh-huh.

Is there any way we could do,
like, a welfare check?

We're tracking her phone,
so we have her current location.

Sure. We'll send our
next available officer to check it out.

- Mm-hmm. Thank you.
- What the fuck?

Is she still alive?

Hey.

Still alive?

Yeah. Yeah.

She's still alive.

Uh-oh.

Where are we?

Here. Drink this.

Drink this. Come on.

Who are you?

Hey. Hey.

- W-W-W-Wait, wait. It's all right. Guys?
- What's going… What is going on?

Where the fuck are we?

- Okay, okay, hold on, hold on.
- Hey, hey, hey.

- Where are you taking me?
- It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.

Hey, calm down.
- Oh, shit.

- Please get her under control.
- What the fuck you want me to do?

- Hey! Hey!
- Just get her under control.

Stop! Oh!

Shit.

Oh...

- Fuck!
- Okay.

Hey. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, sh...
- Ow.

Ow, ow. Hey, hey.

Wait, wait, wait. Hey, come back!

- No, Carlos.
- All right, guys, I'll go get her.

Fuck! Fuck.

- Look. My wipers.
- Emma, wait!

Come back!

- They crashed my fucking van.
- Where's he gone?

- Emma!
- We're just trying to help you!

Everything's good.

- Fuck.
- My van.

- Come on.
- Coming.

- Okay.
- Yep, there's...

- Ow.
- She's really fast.

Goldilocks!

- Oh! Whoa.
- Ooh, shit.

- What?
- Carlos, your fucking nose.

Are you okay?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, you're doing a good job.

- Oh. Oh, that's...
- Good job.

- That's blood.
- Yes, it's blood.

Are you okay?
You got to say something to me.

- How do I look?
- N-Not good.

Aw, you got the nose boo-boo.

I think she went this way.

We don't know where the white girl is.

Come on, come on, come on. Let's find her.

Come on, Kunle.

- Goldilocks!
- Emma!

Where are you? Please, come back!

Emma!

We trying to help you, white girl.

They haven't moved?

No, they're just standing there.

Can you guys ride any faster?

Maddy, we're trying.

Just...

You sure you don't want me
to switch with you, Alice?

This thing really isn't that hard to ride.

- I think you'd probably get it.
- Why aren't they moving?

- You sure?
- Yeah.

Okay, actually, yeah,
that might be a really good idea.

Guys, we can't stop.

- Maddy, just one second.
- What are you doing?

We can't stop.

What?

You know, Alice has been
driving you around all night.

You could, I don't know,

- be grateful.
- Rafael, it's all right.

- Excuse me?
- No, no, no. No, you're awesome.

- First of all, no.
- And you're cool.

- You don't even know me.
- And you deserve better than this.

- Yeah, she's great. Are you for real?
- I'm just saying.

You don't even fucking know me.

You don't get to be all white knight

- and be offended on her behalf.
- Oh, "white knight," yeah.

I'm freaking out
because my sister has been taken

and that 911 lady was a total bitch to me
on the phone.

But you know, you know,
you could just not be actively mean.

- I'm sorry! I'm having a hard night!
- We're here, all right?

And we're here for you, Maddy.

We're fucking here.

You brought a high schooler
to a fraternity party

and then neglected her for two hours.

We're fucking here.

So get on the goddamn bike,
and we're going.

I think you should get on the bike.

Yeah, I'm getting on the bike.

Ow.

Trail ends here.

All right, shit, it must mean
she around here somewhere.

Uh, or...

she backtracked.

Or-or maybe...

No offense... you're in no way qualified

to track people through the woods.

- I'm an Eagle Scout.
- Okay.

I was trained in tracking animals.

Okay, but this isn't Boy Scouts,
all right?

- It's not...
- This isn't a video game. This is real life.

And we... we can't just reload
if you're wrong, Carlos.

And I'm sorry, but I don't see anything.

Do you see anything?

Sean, you see anything?
Uh, no, there's nothing.

All right, I'm...

Just breathe, my nigga. Damn.

- Okay.
- What if she dies out here?

Huh? Why did I listen to you?

This is so fucking stupid.

This is so stupid.

I told you we should just call 911,

but you wouldn't let me.

You just wouldn't let me call.

Now look at us.

Wouldn't let you call?

What the fuck am I,
your third-grade teacher?

You decided not to call.

We all decided to not call.

He didn't force you not to call.

Seriously?

If you called, it would be on you,

and you didn't want it to be on you
because you knew I was right.

Also because you're a pussy.

- What?
- I'm-I'm a pussy?

- Yeah.
- I'm a pussy, but you've been afraid

- of everything this whole night?
- Guys, guys.

- I'm a pussy?
- Can we not call each other pussies?

It's kind of sexist.

A vagina is strong enough
to give birth to a child.

I mean, I think the word
that you're looking for

is-is "coward" or-or, ironically enough,

- "wiener."
- Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Don't be such a sexist
coward wiener, Sean.

I can't believe you just said that

- out your mouth, first of all.
- Yeah. Sexist coward wiener.

- You, all of that.
- Okay, well, don't be such a little bitch, Kunle.

- I'm a bitch?
- Yeah.

- That's also arguably sexist.
- Okay. -Yeah.

Calm down.

- If you got something to say, just say it.
- Look, okay.

You were around real Black men
for like two fucking minutes tonight,

and you went and hid in the bathroom.

- Who was hiding? I was hiding?
- You! It's okay.

- I wasn't hiding. I wasn't hiding.
- I love you still.

- Oh, wow.
- Okay, all right, no, we can do this.

What the fuck do you want me to say?

What, I'm so sorry
that my parents are doctors?

Oh, shit, you know what?
I'm even more sorry

- that my childhood was happy.
- Ow.

You know what?

You don't have the authority
to revoke my Blackness, dickhead.

Guys, can we... can we please just...

No, no, no. Let him continue.

- Kunle angry.
- You know what?

I think it is hilarious
that you think that you are so wise.

Like you got some kind of street smarts.
Why?

Oh, why, Sean?
Because you know where to buy acid?

Oh, shit! Oh, shit, Carlos.

Guess what.
This dude's tried drugs before.

- I know.
- Whoo, yeah!

Round of applause, motherfucker.

You tried drugs.

But you know what?

Who the fuck cares?

You know what, Sean?

The last time I checked,
getting fucked-up all the time

doesn't mean you know a goddamn thing.

It just makes you fucked-up.

Okay.

- I like this Kunle.
- Yeah, I'm glad you do.

This Kunle is nice.

- That's good. You showing nuts now.
- Fuck this.

Look, I feel like it's the first time
he ever used

his Black skin tone type of thing.

- This is great. I like this.
- You know what?

Nah, I'm sorry, that was just really good.

Look, just chill out, all right?
Chill out.

- No, I'm gonna... I'm call...
- Give me the fucking phone.

Carlos, give me your phone.

- Give me your phone.
- Just chill out, Carlos.

- Give it to me now!
- Come on.

- Don't give him your phone.
- Give it to me, Carlos.

Don't... Calm down.

We don't got time for this, Kunle.
Chill out.

- No, we lost her!
- The girl, we... Ooh.

We lost this girl in the fucking forest
because of you!

You!

- Fuck!
- Ouch. Nice.

- Give me this fucking...
- Hey, hey. -Get your ass...

See?

- Fuck! -SEAN: Kunle.
- Guys, guys.

- Can we please stop fighting?
- Asshole!

It doesn't accomplish anything.

- Come on.
- All right, look.

Let's take it to a vote
since this dickhead right here

- wants to go all at. Right?
- Ow.

All in favor of calling the police,
raise your hand.

Yeah, how you feel?

I feel so good.

I feel really good, Kunle.

Yeah, you're both cowards.

We're both cowards.

Get off of me, Carlos!

Don't be mad at him.

Found her.

How the fuck she get in a tree?

Someday this will all just be
a crazy story, you know?

Remember when we tried
to sneak into Underground?

Freshman year.

Yeah, and you got stuck in the window

- like fucking Winnie-the-Pooh.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's what you said back then.

And-and, um,
then we went back to your room,

and we just watched 1970s Winnie-the-Pooh
compilation videos on YouTube.

You know, I-I feel like that's the night
that we became friends.

Like, this is kind of our friend-versary.

We've come full circle.

So, we all just get to go to Underground.

Finally, right?

And-and just in time.

Because this is our last chance.

So you got to come, man.

Don't be a party pooper. Come on.

I'm tired.

But, y-you know, you should go.

Fuck him. L-Let him be a party pooper.

Come on, Kunle.

I can't go.

If I go, you can't go.

Because Sean only got two passes.

Sean only got passes for himself plus one.

So you should go.

Bitch-ass shit.

Los, I just didn't think you'd want to go.

That was it.

No, I-I, um...

For real, I really did think
that you was just

- gonna be playing games tonight, man.
- I was.

I was. Yes, so it's... it's fine.

Los.

- Los.
- That's...

That's fine. Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, guys, look.

Come on.

Call 911 again.

- I think we should call 911.
- Okay, I'll do it.

911. What is the nature of your emergency?

- Yes, hi. It's us again.
- Oh.

We called about the girl in the van.

Well, we're, like,
hiding and-and-and looking at them,

and we're pretty sure
that something bad is going on now.

They've brought her
into the middle of the woods.

She looks unconscious.

What's wrong with you?

Okay, don't ask me what's wrong with me.

What's wrong with you?

- I ain't fuck up nobody's moment.
- Okay, well, look, this whole...

All you've been worried about
is this Legendary Tour.

Partying should not be your priority.

School is almost over, and
you don't have anything to show for it.

Sean, you are way too smart
to not have a plan.

What is your location?

Where even are we?

Um, we're on, uh, Highland, Highland Road.

- Ma'am?
- All right, do you know... Maddy, what...

No, I need to make sure she's okay.

- Madeline…, get your ass back here right now!
- Ma'am.

I don't feel like listening
to these lectures all the time, man.

Like, damn.
Like, maybe we don't need to live together

next year, to be honest.

Hmm.

You know what?

I think this is a really good time
to tell you that, um,

I got into Princeton.

So yeah, we're not gonna be
living together next year.

Good job!

Princeton. Good, good, Kunle.

You did it.

You know what, fuck you and Princeton.

How 'bout them apples?

Yeah, that's really mature.

Oh, your little culture thingies...

- Them bitches might be dead.
- That's nice.

- Yeah.
- That's very mature.

- Yeah, fuck your kids.
- That's really ma... -

Hey. Oh, hey.

- Oh, she got a stick.
- Okay, wait.

- Hey, look, I got this. I got this.
- We, look… we gonna... What? Kunle.

- Don't-don't...
- You're not a fucking leader.

- All right, don't fucking do this. I got this.
- All right.

- You got it.
- Hey.

- Oh, shit!
- See?

- Ow, ow, ow!
- You got it. See? See, hey...

Oh. Um...

Yeah, they're fighting
with our friend now.

- What do we do?
- Do not engage.

- Oh, shit.
- Aah! Stop!

- Stop!
- What did you do to her?!

Who?

- Emma.
- Who the fuck is Emma?

- Oh, shit. Gold...
- Oh, oh, Emma, Emma.

The Gold... Goldilocks.

We didn't...
Okay, we are friends of-of Emma.

- Like, we just met her, and we...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, shit!

- Fuck, stop! Stop!
- Stop fucking...

Give-give me this motherfucking stick.

- -Give me the...
- Whoa, oh.

Strong-ass little white girl.

- Are you okay?
- Oh, shit.

She's got spray.

Fuck!

- That's what your... See, karma, karma.
- Oh...

- Whoa, whoa.
- I know. See? Karma.

- Ow! Shit!
- Whoa. Hey. -Hah!

- Fuck! Ow!
- No, are you... are you okay?

Are you... Hey, are you okay?

- We didn't do anything.
- Shit.

And then we were trying to make sure
she was okay. That's it.

Hey, hey, look, you need
to rinse your eyes, all right?

You really need
to rinse your eyes. Come on.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Step back!

- Oh, fuck.
- That's right!

Keep your hands up! Don't move!

We-we helping. We helping, uh, Officer.

- Get on the ground! Don't move!
- Sir, this is just a big mistake.

- We haven't done anything wrong.
- Shit.

- We actually didn't do shit.
- Oh, no.

We-we're just trying
to take her to the hospital.

- You're under arrest.
- Fuck. -Fucking police.

You're under arrest.

- Oh, this burns.
- Don't move!

- Do not! Okay.
- Why does it burn so much?

- What? -KUNLE: Look at her shoes.
- Fuck.

Oh, my God, they're not cops.

What the fuck? Shiny shit.

What are you doing?
What are you... Look it, look.

She's got, like, some shiny shoes on.

- What the fuck?
- Why are you impersonating a police officer?

- That's so fucking illegal!
- What are...

Wait, Rafa?

- What are you doing here, dude?
- What are you doing here?

We-we just rolled into a ditch
and-and-and...

We've been looking for her sister, man.

Wait, you know them?

Yeah, that's my cousin.

Yeah, we're-we're related.

What the fuck is going on right now?

- Stay back!
- Bitch, if you spray us,

- we gonna have an issue.
- Don't fuck with me!

- Stay back!
- Please don't call her a bitch right now.

- All right, my bad, but chill.
- Okay, okay.

Can y'all just tell her to chill
so we can calm down?

Please chill.

Okay, but you guys aren't, like,

- kidnapping that girl, right?
- What?

- What the fuck, boy?
- No. Why would we kidnap a girl?

- No, no, no, no, no. We don't even know her.
- I gotta make sure.

- There's a van and a girl, you know?
- Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, I'm sorry, wait. He's your cousin?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Uh, you don't look...

Oh, yeah, um...

He-he looks, like, super white.

- He gets that all the time.
- Yeah. I'm Mexican.

Okay, but-but what are you guys
doing here?

We're trying to take her to the hospital.

Yeah, -We-we found her, and
she was, she was in our house,

- and she was unconscious.
- You found her?

And she started, like,
throwing up everywhere.

- This is bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.

- Hey, look, just...
- Why would I lie to you?

Just let him explain, all right?

No! Let me talk to my sister!

Go ahead.

- Got it? Go. Just... Emma?
- Oh, my God.

We found your sister like this
passed out on our floor.

Emma! Emma, did they hurt you?

- Did we hurt...
- See?

- Emma.
- See?

White girl, Black dudes. What'd I say?

Dude, how'd you guys even find us?

Oh.

Find My Fr...?

Wait, but sh-she doesn't even
have a cell phone.

- Wow. -Mm.
- Oh, uh...

We didn't look there.

Guys, I can't hear anything.

Okay, well, if she's still breathing,

then that means
that her heart is still beating.

- Okay, I'm just trying to help.
- You're just trying to help?

- Yes.
- Then why are we in the middle of a fucking forest right now?

And why did you guys stop
at some weird house on the way here?

We were trying to avoid
getting pulled over.

We have a taillight that's out.

And we were trying to get another car
from his brother...

We know that this sounds weird, bad...

- The taillight is out.
- Exactly.

- Thank you.
- They're fucking lying.

What the fuck is your problem?

He just said the taillight was out.

Why are you so damn bent
on making us the bad guy?

And why the fuck was you so quick
to pepper-spray us?

Huh? What, 'cause we Black?

- No! What?
- We scare you that much?

Maddy, what if there's a chance
that this is

just one big, weird misunderstanding?

I mean, it-it kind of tracks.

Are you just gonna believe them?

What, are you a fucking idiot?

No, Maddy, I'm not a fucking idiot.

- He genuinely looks like he's trying to help.
- Okay, um… Okay, excuse me.

- Don't touch her!
- Okay.

- Oh, God.
- He's certified to help.

He-he's certified.

How much has she drank tonight?

- I don't fucking know.
- Okay.

Well, she seems to be getting drunker
and-and-and...

I don't know, she threw up a lot earlier,

but I-I don't know
if that's gonna be enough.

She's gonna be okay, though, right?

She's not gonna, like, die, right?

Hey, when did you call 911?

Like ten minutes ago.

They're sort of having trouble
figuring out where we are.

Guys, she's getting colder.

Oh. Hey, we-we need...

We need to get her
to the hospital, like, now.

I got a better idea.

How about we get the fuck out of here?

Okay? Help is already on the way.

We can't just leave them.

This girl is getting colder, Sean.

- Do you know what that means?
- Look-look, I… Look, I...

I don't give a fuck about her temperature.

I give a fuck about us, okay?

That's what I care about.

Y... If it's that fucking
serious to you...

Hey, hey, little dress boy.

Huh. Take this. It's yours.

Everybody that's darker
than a brown paper bag

should get the fuck from round here.

Los.

- We can't just leave them.
- Yes, we can.

She just said
they're gonna be here any minute.

And I ain't trying to be
no fucking hashtag.

- Le!
- Why does she look like that?

Why does she got all these bruises
on her face?

…there's got to be something, um...

Look. Hey, we did it.

- We did what the fuck you wanted to do.
- She's gonna be fine.

We got her some help. Let's go.

They're too drunk to drive.
Everybody's too drunk to drive.

- They can't… -I…
- SEAN: Le...

I can drive.

- Don't be fucking idiots, okay?
- Rafa.

We can't just leave them.

She's-she's gonna be fine.

- Maddy, it's-it's gonna be okay.
- Emma.

Fine.

Y'all want to play
fucking heroes and shit.

Get a medal, huh?

I'm out.

And it's not because I'm a bitch
or a coward that I'm leaving.

I don't care if y'all think that of me.

Guys, come on!

I just want to make it to the next day
with my friends.

But my friends just keep wanting to help
these fucking white people.

Pay attention, Kunle.

- Guys, she needs help. Let's go.
- We need to go.

- Come on, guys.
- Hurry.

What?

What?

I think I need to start CPR.

Um...

- What?
- I think we...

- Okay.
- Sh-Should I stop?

- Should we stop?
- No.

No, no, no. We-we need to go.

Can you help me get her down?
Here, we need some space.

- Okay, okay. Um, ready?
- Make sure her head is...

- Um, one, two, three.
- Careful.

Okay, I can get her head,

- if you cross over.
- Okay, w-w-wait. Wait.

- All right? It's okay.
- You ready? There you go.

Okay. Okay, all right, um...

I haven't really done this
on a person before.

You got this, man. You can do it.

- All right.
- I believe in you.

- You can do it. You got it.
- You're right. Okay.

- You can do it.
- Yes, I can.

Up and down.

Okay.

Could you, like,
not sing that song right now?

Oh, oh, Maddy, Maddy, it's, um,

to keep the CPR tempo.

I-I saw it on Reddit.
- What?

Why are you singing it, too?

No, no, no, no, it's just...
it's just the main part,

- just the main part.
- Right, right. Okay, okay.

Fuck.

Uh, what do I do?

- Sh-Should I pull over?
- Turn the flashers on.

- Turn the flashers on.
- Right, right.

I don't know where anything is
in this car.

- Up here.
- Right, right, right, right, right.

Pull over.

- Pull over now, and let the hostage go.
- Shit. Shit. Shit.

We're not hostages! We're not...

That doesn't look good.

Pull over.

Pull over now, and let the hostage go.

We're trying to take her to the hospital!

- Yo, right, right, right, right.
- Right. Right, yeah.

Fuck, man! Come on.

They really think
that we kidnapped you guys.

Yeah. Fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Come on. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Come on.

Pull over.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Maddy.

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Come on. Come on, Emma!

This is all my fault.

- Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
- Maddy.

I ditched her 'cause I didn't want
to hang out with a fucking high schooler.

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Come on,
come on, come on, come on, come on.

I'm so fucking stupid.

We are almost there, okay?

It's gonna be okay.

Pull over.

- Right here, right here, right.
- Right?

We-we're turning!

Stop.

Um...

Come on!

Step out of the vehicle now!

You have until the count of three!

Guys, we got to get out.

- One!
- Go, Carlos!

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Um, what do I do? I-I...

How-how do I open the door with my...

- Two!
- Maddy, look at me.

I swear it's okay. I swear it is.

Three!

Come on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There's been a mistake.

Hands up!

- Step out of the vehicle now!
- I was just trying to help her.

I was just trying to help her! I was...

- -I was just trying to help.
- No! No!

- I didn't do anything wrong.
- Wait! Just wait!

- I didn't do anything wrong.
- My sister...

- My sister needs a doctor. Listen to me.
- Listen, calm down. Calm down.

- Listen to me. Listen.
- Step back.

I didn't do
anything wrong. I'm trying to help.

- I'm trying to help.
- My sister needs a doctor.

I'm just trying to help.
I'm just trying to help.

- Use your fucking eyes! My sister's dying!
- Please help me. Please.

- I didn't do anything wrong.
- Listen to me.

My sister needs a doctor!

I was trying to help.

Who the fuck are you?

Help my sister now!

My sister needs help!

Use your fucking eyes!

My sister's dying in that van!

Stop arresting us, and get her some help!

- Please, please, Emma!
- We need a medic!

- You, stay there.
- Get my sister some fucking help!

Please, please!

Emma!

Please, just let me see her.

- Just let me get to her, please!
- Careful.

Emma, Emma.

- And then Maddy couldn't find her sister.
- Mm-hmm.

And then we were looking
for her everywhere

and so we started tracking...

All right.

I'm giving you kids a warning.

You're free to go.

Is she gonna be okay, Officer?

Well, I can't make any promises,

but probably, yes.

If somebody is unconscious,

just call the pros next time, all right?

Okay.

You all right, man?

Yeah. I just want, um...

I just want to go...

I just want to go and check my cultures.
That's all.

Just, uh, I think I can still save
some of them.

Hey.

It's okay if you're not okay.

Come on, man, I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm f...

- Kunle. Hey, Kunle.
- I'm fine. No...

You're my hero, man.

What you did, you...

You were a fucking badass tonight,
all right?

Yeah.

You were.

You know, I almost pissed
on my fucking self.

I actually... I-I think I...

I probably did a little.

To the lab?

Yeah.

Lead the way.

Sean.

You're alive, bro. You're alive.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, looks like you had a legendary night
after all.

Can you...

How's Goldilocks?

She's probably gonna be okay.

That's good.

Can you… Exc...

Excuse me.

I tried to jam it closed with a fork,
but it didn't work.

I just used my body.

And I don't really know how to tell
if bacteria is still alive or not.

Yeah, I-I, um...

I think I'm-I'm gonna...

bathroom.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I know...

I'm just... I'm...

I'm sorry for everything, man. I...

I'm sorry I left you, bro.

And I'm sorry for saying
that your babies might be dead.

I-I... I apologize, all right?

And if they are,
I'll tell Princeton that it was my fault.

You know, man, um...

there was a...

There was a moment tonight where, uh,

I had to do CPR.

I was terrified.

It was real...

And then the cops showed up.

One of them had a gun, man,
and he just pointed it in my face.

And I kept saying...

"I'm just trying to help, I'm just trying
to help, I'm just trying to help."

"We didn't do anything wrong.
I'm just trying to help."

Sean, it didn't matter.

He just...

he put my face in the ground...

The gun...

I kept thinking, like, "Oh, shit.

I'm about to die right now."

I don't ever want to feel that way again.

I felt so hopeless, Sean. I felt...

I felt so...

I couldn't do anything.

We didn't do anything wrong.

I just wanted...

You were right.

Okay, you were right.

You said that it was gonna happen
that way, and it happened that way.

You were right, and I know why you left,

and I do not blame you, Sean.

I just don't want to feel that way...

I'm sorry that happened to you, man.

- I'm so sorry, Le.
- It's fine.

- No, it's not.
- It's fine.

It's-it's really fine.

That shit ain't okay.

I was so fucking scared, man.

No, I know.

All right...

I know.

I was so scared.

I don't know, man.

I'm really sorry about all of this.

I'm really sorry about the Legendary Tour.

And, um...

Fuck the tour.

I almost lost my brother.

Give a fuck about a tour.

It was never about the parties, man.

The fucking parties.

When I found out
that you was going to Princeton,

shit, I just got happy as shit.

Wh-wh-what?

Wait, you knew I was going to Princeton?

Yeah.

Man, I knew before you did.

Saw that big-ass envelope in the mail.

I don't know, man, I just...

Look, everybody know
that you gonna be like

the Barack Obama
of fungus and bacteria and such,

win a Nobel Prize and shit, man.

You gonna have your own Wikipedia page,
you fucking nerd.

You gonna change the world, bro.

Ten years from now, none of this shit
gonna mean nothing to you.

It just scared me, bro.

You wasn't gonna say nothing to me.

Just gonna leave and...

Just tried to do something, you know?

The-the Legendary Tour
would've worked, you know?

We could've been
on the Wall of Firsts, and...

I don't know, man.

Something to prove that, you know, uh,
I guess we both went here together.

And we was friends, you know?

Come on, Sean...

we are still going to be friends
when we graduate.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You're my best friend.

You're my best friend, too.

And I really was going to tell you
about Princeton.

It's just, um... I was. I just...
I'm not even sure if I want to go.

- All right.
- I'm serious. I'm not...

Just because we're emotional
don't mean that we're stupid.

I'm just not sure I...

Look, it's Princeton.

You got to fucking go to Princeton.

You earned it, and you deserve it, Le.

Plus, I don't even got a job.
I could move closer to you.

Wait, where is... where is...

Where is, uh, Princeton?

It's in New Jersey.

- Oh, fuck. I-I...
- I know. I know.

I know, it's New Jersey, but...

- it's not that...
- Yeah, I-I should've thought first.

It's... Yeah, it's still Jersey.

But it's an hour away from Philly
and New York,

so that's at least...

I would not drink that.

It's just water, Kunle. I'm thirsty.

It... Okay.

You know what, I think you can have
your own Wikipedia page, too.

- Mm.
- Yeah.

But finishing your thesis, graduating...

- Oh, shit.
- These are baby steps.

Like, we don't have to have
it all planned out

- if we can just take...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- I can have... What?
- Hey, hey, hey, calm... calm.

No more lectures, all right?

Deal. No more lectures.

All right.

Come on, man.

I love you, bro.

I love you, too, man.

- Group hug!
- What? Oh, shit.

- Group hug is coming!
- It's okay.

It's all right.

- Let me in. Let me in.
- Wait, wait.

You got to move your fanny pack
out the way.

- Hey. Oh.
- So you can get in here without poking people.

Oh, tuck in.

- Oh, it feels good, right?
- It's good. -Yeah.

- There you go.
- It's great.

- No, don't, don't, don't go up and down.
- Oh, don't-don't go up and down.

- Don't go up and down.
- That's a little too much.

That's where it ends.

They're all okay.

They're all all right.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I'm so tired.

And I'm so fucking hungry.

Geez, Sean, I...

What a novel and challenging problem
you're having.

I wish there was a solution
to that problem.

- There you go.
- He flipped his fanny pack around.

I got you, fam.

All right.

They actually come in handy.

All right, come on.

Safe at last.

I'm-I'm so high, actually.

Los, did you actually run away
from the police?

A little bit.

- Oh.
- Oh. No.

Not our problem.

Not our problem.

This'll be your piece.

- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.

Is it… sweet?

- You-you think so?
- Yeah.

Those hips don't lie. Certainly.

No, no, hips do not lie. I've been...

- I've been practicing a-a little bit.
- Oh.

And I-I heard that you...
that, you know...

that you did, like, a little bit of dance.

- A little bit. Yeah.
- And I thought that I would try just a little bit.

So...

Uh…

- That's great. That's good.
- Oh. Okay.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Um...

Hey, could you... could you get that?

Uh, it's...

- I'm gonna...
- Yeah.

- Okay, I-I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Yeah, I'm-I'm up. I'm up.

Just one second.

Hi.

Hey.

Is Carlos here?

Hey, Carlos!

- Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
- Hey, Carlos.

Just-just hold on a second.

Now, Los.

- Come here now.
- A-All right, all right. Wait, wait, wait.

Hi.

Emma, this is Kunle and Carlos.
They saved your life.

Uh, so we don't want to intrude.

We just... we just had something
we wanted to say.

You-you're going first, okay?

Oh. Uh...

Thank you.

Um...

For everything.

Getting me to the hospital and...

Sorry for apparently breaking in
and throwing up everywhere.

So embarrassing.

Yeah, I-I literally live two doors down,

so I think she thought this was my house.

That's what we think I thought.

We don't really know
because I don't remember...

- anything.
- Right.

But, uh, yeah, we can...

we can help pay for any rugs
that need to be cleaned or...

It's cool.

- It's hard... it's hardwood floors.
- Or... Right.

Or the car.

- 'Cause I know that...
- It's fine. We're just happy

that you're, uh... that you're better.

Uh, Emma, Emma,
why don't you go ahead and, uh...

I'ma talk to them for a second.

- Yeah.
- Cool.

Great.

I had, uh, something I wanted to say.

Just one second.

Uh...

Okay, um...

Kunle, Carlos...

I want to extend my deepest apologies

for what transpired the other night.

I'm working on myself and what I put out
into the world, and...

Oh.

Um...

I'll just leave this in your mailbox then.