Elf (2003) - full transcript

Oh, hello.

You're, uh, you're probably here

about the, Uh, the story.

Elves love to tell stories.

I- I'll bet you didn't know that
about elves.

There's, uh, probably a lot of things

You... you didn't know about elves.

Another... another interesting
Uh, elf ism

Uh, there are only three jobs available
to an elf.

The first is making shoes at night

While, you know, while the old...



The old cobbler sleeps.

Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.

You can bake cookies

In a tree. Hey!

As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous
Having an oven

In an oak tree during the dry season.

I wanna make shoes!

But the third job... uh, some call
It, uh,

"The show," or... or "the big dance,"

It's the professi?n that every elf
Aspires to,

And that is to build toys in
Santa's workshop.

Only two weeks left till Christmas!

I- It's a job only an elf can do.

Our... our nimble fingers,



Natural cheer and active minds

Are perfect for toy-building.

They... they tried using gnomes
And trolls,

But the gnomes drank too much...

...and the trolls weren't toilet
trained.

No human being has ever set... set
foot in Santa's workshop.

Uh, that is until about 30 years ago,

And, as you may have guessed,

That's where our story begins.

Wow!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Wow!

Wow!

Ow! Ow!

Whoa!

Are you sleepy?

Here we are.

We're just going to make you feel
so comfortable.

Here we are.

There you are.

It's time to go to sleep.

Maybe by next Christmas you'll
Have a home.

Merry Christmas, my ?ngel.

Mmm...

All right, all right.

We've had another very successful
year.

So, after all that hard work,

It's time to start preparations

For next Christmas!

What in the name of Sam hill
Is that?

Wow...

A baby...

"little buddy diapers."

His name is buddy. He must've...

Snuck into your sack at the
orphanage.

What do we do?

So, Santa had a
Decisi?n to make,

And fortunately, when it
Comes to babies,

Santa's a... a pushover.

So, buddy stayed with, uh
An older elf

Who had always wanted a child?

But had been so committed to
Building toys, he...

He, well, had forgotten to
Settle down.

Santa.

Yes, yes, I... I raised buddy.

I was his adopted father.

Though buddy grew twice as fast,

He... he wasn't any different from
the other children.

Chuckles not too fast, buddy.

I mean, not... not really.

Before we learn how to build
The latest

In extreme graphic chipset
Processors,

Let's recite the
"Code of the elves,"

Shall we?

Number one.

"Treat every day like Christmas."

Number two.

"There's room for everyone on the
Nice list."

Number three.

"The best way to spread Christmas
Cheer

Is singing loud for all to hear."

And one day, when buddy was
old enough,

I made him my own personal
apprentice.

I've never been in this room
before.

Well, I think it's time you start

Your tinker training.

Santa's sleigh.

You're gonna help me make it fly.

I thought the magical reindeer made
The sleighs fly.

And where do the reindeer get
their magic from?

Christmas spirit. Everybody
knows that.

Well, silly as it sounds,

A lot of people down south

Don't believe in Santa Claus.

What?!

Well, who do they think puts all?
their toys under the tree?

Well, there's a rumor floating around

That, uh, that the parents do it.

That's... that's ridiculous.

I mean, parents couldn't do that
all in one night.

What about Santa's cookies?

I suppose parents eat them, too?

Yeah, I, uh, I... I know,

Uh, and every earless and less
People

Believe in Santa Claus.

I mean, we have a real energy
crisis on our hands.

Oh.

I mean, just see how low the, uh
Claus meter is.

That's shocking.

That's why I came up

With this little beauty in the '60s.

WH-what is it?

It's a cringle 3000...

A 500-reindeer power jet turbine
engine.

Without it, the sleigh couldn't

Get more than, uh, a few feet off
the ground.

Well, it looks like we got

A short in the thermo coupler.

You wanna give mea hand with that?

You want me to help?

As much as, uh, buddy was accepted

By his family and friends,

There were a few drawbacks

To being, uh, a human in, uh
an elf's worid.

Hey, Ming Ming.

Um...

I'm gonna be a little bit short
on today's quota.

It's all right, buddy.

Just how many etch-a-sketches

Did you get finished?

Come on, buddy. How many?

I made, uh... 85.

Eighty-five?

That puts you...

915 off the pace.

Ooh... that's bad.

Why don't you just say it?

I'm the worst toy maker in
the worid.

I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

No, buddy, you're not cotton-
headed ninny-muggins.

We all just have different talents
That's all.

Seems like everyone else

Have the same talents
except for me.

You... you have, you have lots of
Talents, uh...

Special talents in fact, like
Um, uh...

Special talents?

You changed the batteries in the
smoke detector.

You sure did... aaa's.

And in six months, you'll have
to check 'em again...

Won't he?

And you're the only baritone in
the elf choir.

You bring us down whole octave.

In a good way.

See, buddy?

You're not a cotton-headed ninny-
muggings.

You're just... special.

And so, buddy was sent where the...
The special elves work.

Aah!

Ah!

Hey, foom foom...

I hate to do this to you, but you
Think you could

Help me pick up the slack on those
etch-a-sketches?

No problem. I appreciate it.

Buddy is killing me.

I already got lum lum and choochoo pulling' doubles.

That was quick thinking yesterday

With that ??special talents?? thing.

Ming Ming: I feel bad for the guy.

I just hope he doesn't get wise.

Well, if he hasn't figured out
He's a human by now,

I don't think he ever will.

If he hasn't figured
Out he's a human

By now, I don't think he ever will.

I think they're too small.

You're just... special.

You don't look so good, buddy.

Are you okay?

I'll be okay, I just need a glass
of water.

Aah!

Buddy...

Unh! Aah!

Buddy, are you okay?

I'm sorry, papa.

I just need some alone time.

Buddy, I... I think we... we have
to talk.

Buddy, uh, I think there's something

I... I probably should tell you.

You probably should have found
out a long...

A long time ago.

I then proceeded to tell buddy of
how his father

Had fallen in love when he was
very young

With a beautiful girl named
Susan wells,

And how buddy was born

And put up for adoption by
his mother,

And how she had later passed away.

I... I told him his father

Had never even known that
Buddy was born,

And most importantly,

I told him where his father was...

Uh, in a magical land called
new York City.

My dad works there?

Empire state building.

Hey, buddy, wanna pick some
snow berries?

Not now, arctic puffin.

Hello, buddy. Oh... hi, Leon.

Why the long face, partner?

It seems I'm... I'm not an elf.

'Course you're not. You're 6'3"

And had a beard since you were 15.

Papa says my real father

Lives in a magical place far away.

I don't know what to do.

At least you have a daddy.

I was just rolled up one day and
left out here in the cold.

But the thing is, I've never even left
the North Pole.

Buddy, I've been around the worid
Many times

When I was a young cumulus
nimbus cloud.

It's a wonderful place, filled with
Wondrous creatures...

Except dogs.

Oh, by the way, don't eat the
yellow snow.

Oh, I know that.

All I'm say in' is, this might be
The golden opportunity

To find out whom you really are.

So, I hear you're going

On a little journey to
the big city.

Yup. Ahh.

I'm kind a nervous.

Leon says New York is pretty
different.

Oh, don't pay attention to Leon.

He's never been anywhere.
He doesn't have any feet.

I've been to New York thousands
of times.

Really? Mm-hmm.

What's it like?

Well, there are some things you
should know.

First off, you see gum on
The street,

Leave it there. It's not
free candy.

Oh. Second,

There are, like, 30 ray's
pizzas.

They all claim to be the
Original,

But the real one' son 11th.

And if you see a sign that
Says "peep show,"

That doesn't mean that
They're letting you

Look at presents before Christmas.

Can't wait to see my dad...

We're gonna go ices skating and...
And eat sugar plums.

Yeah, that's the other thing

I wanted to talk to you about.

You know, buddy...

Your father...

Well... he's on the naughty list.

No!

You're taking the books back?

See, I... I see what you're trying
to do here.

Y- You're trying to make me feel bad,

When, in actuality, you're the one

That missed the payments.

But the children love the books.

I know that, uh...

You know, I'm the one that ran
The focus groups,

But I like hearing that.

Listen, some people, they just
Lose sight

Of what's important in life.

That doesn't mean they can't find
their way again, huh?

Maybe all they need

Is just a little Christmas spirit.

Well, uh, I... I'm good at that.

I know you are.

And I'll...

I'll always, uh,

I'll always be here for you.

Now, uh...

Go... uh, get.

Bye, guys.

Bye, buddy. Bye, buddy. Take care.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, buddy.

There, there.

Huh?

Oh! Ohh!

Bye, buddy. Hope you find your dad.

Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.

Bye.

Hey! What's your name?

My name's buddy.

Ohh!

Does someone need a hug?

aah, aah! That's not cool!

I just wanted a hug!

Hi.

Hello.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You did it! Congratulations!

"Worid's best cup of coffee.
"Great job, everybody.

It's great to meet you.

Hi.

Santa, san... uh, nope.

Not Santa.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Hey, you know what?
No.

No, all right? Thank you.

Get outta here, get outta here.

Hello. Hi.

Ooh...

Beautiful.

Looks like a Christmas tree.

A reprint?

You know how much that's gonna
cost?

Two whole pages are missing.

The story doesn't make any sense.

What, you think some kid's gonna
notice two pages?

I mean, they... all they do is look
at pictures.

Sorry I can't ride with you the
Rest of the way up,

But this is where my dad works.
Well, have a good...

Oh, I forgot to give you a hug!

Oh, I don't know, Connie,
I've never

Declared kittens before.

How many?

Eight?

Uh, I don't know if I'm gonna
Have time.

Oh, all right, just bring 'em by
The camper this week,

And I'll see what I can do. I'm
Not gonna charge you.

Just bring 'em by, and I'll see
What I can do.

I have to go. Excuse me.

I'm here to see a Walter hobs.

I'm buddy the elf. Laughs

You look hilarious! Who sent you?

Papa elf. Papa elf?

Mm-hmm. From the North Pole.

From the North Pole? Yes.

So, you really think we should
Ship 'em?

No, I think we should take a
$30,000 bath

So some kid can understand
What happened?

To a puppy and a frigging pigeon

ship 'em.

Yeah.

Mr. Hobbs? It's me on the intercom.

Go ahead.

Yeah, I think some one sent you a
Christmas-gram.

Dad!

All right, uh, let's get it
Over with.

I walked all day and night to
Find you.

Uh, you look like you came from
the North Pole.

That's exactly where I came from.

Santa must've called you!

Oh, yeah, sure, he, uh...

Just got off the cell phone
with me.

You did?!

So, go on. Go on with what?

Well, are... are you gonna sing a
Song or something,

Or can I just go back to work?

A song? Uh...

Yeah. Anything for you, dad, uh...

I... I'm, I'm here with my dad

And we never met

And he wants me to sing
Him a song

And, um, I was adopted

But you didn't know I was born

So, I'm here now, I found you,
Daddy

And, guess what? I love you

I love you I love you!

Wow, that was weird.

You know, usually you guys just
Uh, you know,

Put my name into jingle bells or
something.

It's me, your son.

Susan wells had me, and... And she
Didn't tell you,

And, and, and, but now I'm here...

It's me buddy.

Susan wells.

Uh, you said Susan wells? Yes.

Who sent this Christmas-gram?

What's a Christmas-gram?
I want one.

It's okay, Walter's my father.

Well, your dad's busy right now.

Okay, I'll come back later.

Yeah, you know, you're not gonna

Come back for awhile, okay?

You're gonna go back to
Santa land.

Okay.

Yeah, why don't you go back?
to gimbals'?

Sorry! Sorry.

Passi?n fruit spray?

Fruit spray? Sure.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Do you wanna go?

Hey! Have you seen these?
toilets?

They're gl-normous!

"For that special someone."

Past!

Grunts

Hey, come... come here!

Me? Yes.

What are you doing down here?

You're not supposed to be
Down here!

You can shop on your break,

You don't... come on, get upstairs!

Okay, I didn't know. Well
You should know!

Are you mad at me? No.

Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.

Just do your job.

Okay, fair enough.

wow!

What's this?

This is the North Pole.

No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

No, it's not. Where's the snow?

Why you smiling like that?

I just like to smile, smiling's
my favorite.

Make work your favorite, that's
You're favorite, okay?

Okay. Work is your new favorite.

Fine.

It's time for the announcement.

Okay.

Okay, people, tomorrow
morning 10 a.m.,

Santa's coming' to town!

Santa!

Oh, my god!

Santa here?! I know him.

I know him.

He'll be hereto take pictures

With all the children.

Yeah!

Just keep your receipts.
10 a.m. Tomorrow.

10 a.m. Tomorrow.

Santa's coming to town.

Yes. Can you sign this for me?

Ohh! Hi.

Are you enjoying the view?

You are very good at decorating
that tree.

Why are you messing with me?

Did krumpet put you up to this?

I'm not messing with you.

It's just nice to meet
Another human

Who shares my affinity for?
elf culture.

I'm just trying to get
through the holidays.

Get through?

Christmas is the greatest
Day in the whole wide worid!

Please stop talking to me.

Uh-oh. Sounds like someone

Needs to sing a Christmas
Carol.

Go away.

The best way to
Spread Christmas cheer

Is singing loud for all to hear.

Thanks, but I don't sing.

Oh, it's easy, it's just like
Talking...

Except louder and longer

And you move your voice up
And down.

I can sing, but I just choose not
to sing.

Especially in front of other
people.

Well, if you sing alone,
You can sing

In front of other people. There's
no difference.

Actually, there's a big difference.

No, there... no, there isn't.

Wait.

I'm singing

I'm in a store, and I'm singing

I'm in a store, and I'm singing

Hey! There's no singing in the
North Pole.

Yes, there is.

No, there's not.

We sing all the time.
No, there's not.

Especially when we make toys.

See?

Attention,
all gimbel's shoppers,

Please make your final purchases.

We'll be closing in ten minutes.

Well, it's time for me to go home.

But... but Santa's coming,
There's so much to do.

Yeah, um... laughs

I'll see you tomorrow...

Buddy. Jovie.

Hi. Hi.

Jovie.

Hey, uh... I'm gonna eat in the
bedroom, okay?

I, uh, I got

A bunch of stuff to go over.

Are you sure? I'm... I'm just way
Behind

On a bunch of stuff.

Okay.

Can I eat in my room?

No. Why not?

Dad's eating in his room.

I got a bunch
Of homework to go over,

And I'm way behind on a bunch
of stuff.

You're eating here.

I really can't stay

I've got to go 'way

This evening has been

So very nice

My mother will start to worry

And father will be pacing'
The floor

So, really, I'd better scurry

Well, may be just a half a drink
More

The neighbors might think
Baby, it's bad out there

Say, what's in this drink?

No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how to break the
Spell

I'll take your hat, your hair
Looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Mind if I move in closer?

At least I'm gonna say that
I tried

What's the sense of hurting?
my pride?

I really can't stay

Ah, but it's cold outside baby,
it's cold outside!

Get out! Don't look at me!

Get out!

Just hear those sleigh bells
Jingling

Ring-ting-tingling, too

Come on, it's lovely weather

For a sleigh ride together
With you

Outside the snow is falling

And friends are calling yoo-hoo

Dad?

Come on, its lovely weather dad.

Dad, hi! It's me! For a sleigh
Ride together with you

Buddy. Dad! Dad! Dad!

Giddy-yap, giddy-yap, giddy-yap

Let's go, let's look at the show

We're riding in a wonderland
Of snow

Hey! It's okay,

I just have a gift for my dad.

Okay, I'll take this.

Okay. Well, just make sure he knows

It's from me buddy, his son, okay?

Okay. And that I love him so much,

And that I think he's the greatest
dad in the worid.

You guys are so strong.

Wow! My cheeks are nice
And rosy

This is neat. And comfy
Cozy are we

We're snuggled up together

Like two birds of a feather
Would be

Let's take that road before us

And sing a chorus or two

Come on, it's lovely weather

For a sleigh ride together
With you

Hey, you. Me?

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

What do you wanna talk to?
Me about?

How come you were

In the women's locker room these
morning?

I heard you singing.

You sure it had nothing to
Do with the fact

That I was naked in the shower?

I didn't know you were naked.

Why were you here so early?

They shut my water off.

What were you doing here so
early?

Building this.

You built this? Mm-hmm.

They're kind a pissed about
this.

Really?

Hey, guys.

Have you seen the place?
Mm-hmm.

It's pretty good. It's a
little too good.

Corporate must have sent in a
professional.

I don't know why some body's
Gunning' for my job,

But, look... let's
Remain team, okay?

'Cause if I go, we all go.

If you get wind of anything,

Call me on my radio,
Channel three.

Code word is "Santa's got
A brand new bag,"

Okay?

Six-inch ribbon curis, honey.

That's impossible. Six... inches.

By the way... I think you have

The most beautiful singing voice

In the whole wide worid.

Santa...

Hey, hey! Ho ho ho!

Yeah!

Santa, it's me buddy!

It's me! Hey, buddy,
How you doing?

It's me!

Are you ready to see Santa?

Who the heck are you?

What are you talking about?
I'm Santa Claus.

No, you're not.

Uh, WH-why, of course I am!

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Well, if you're Santa...

What song did I sing for you on?
Your birthday this year?

Uh, happy birthday of course!

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Uh, so, how old are you, son?

Four.

You're a big boy, what's
your name?

Paul. And, uh, what can I
get you for Christmas?

Paul... don't tell him what
You want.

He's a liar. Let the kid talk.

You disgust me. How can you live?
With yourself?

Just cool it, zippy. Woman:
Smile.

You sit on a throne of lies.

Look, I'm not kidding'.
You're a fake.

I'm a fake? Yes.

How'd you like to be dead, huh?

Fake. No, he's kidding.

You stink.

I think you're gonna have a good
Christmas, all right?

You smell like beef and cheese.

You don't smell like Santa.

Okay.

He's an imposter! He's not
Santa!

He's a fake! He's a fake!
Come here. Come here!

I saw!

He's a fake!

Ha ha! Where you going now?
Where you going...?

Ohh! Ohh!

No!

He's not Santa Claus!

He's not Santa!

"To someone special."

What's that? Intercom.

All right.

Yeah? Mr. Hobbs, the police are
On line one.

Police. Hello?

Dad!

I knew that you'd come,
I love you for coming.

Officer tom, this is my dad.

This is Walter... he came.

He bailed me out.

They gave me one phone call.

They gave me one phone call,

And I said," I know who
I'm gonna call...

Walter Hobbs."

And sure enough, you showed up.

You did, they said you weren't
goanna show up.

They told me so many times...
shh shh shh shh shh.

Just who the heck are you,
And what is your problem?

I- I'm buddy, I'm your son.

Wait, um...

Tell me, tell me, tell me, uh...

Where'd you get this picture?

Papa elf gave it to me.

Listen... is this some kind a
game?

What do you want, some money?

No! I just wanted to meet you,

And I thought you might Anna
Meet me.

Who wouldn't Anna meet you?

I thought maybe we could make
Gingerbread houses,

And eat cookie dough, and go
Ice skating, and...

And maybe even hold hands.

Uh-huh.

Come with me. Okay.

Okay. What have we got here?

Buddy, don't eat those.

Ohh!

We got to really hurry up, Walter,

'cause I'm double booked the
rest of the afternoon.

Am I sick?

Yeah, but that's not why we're
Here.

We're hereto do a test, come on.

What kind test? Just a test to
Find out

If you're my son or not. Why am
I sitting on paper?

Because it's sanitary for the
other patients.

Now, sit still so I can do
the finger prick.

Finger prick!

Ohh! It's cold.

Yeah, just pleases it still,
Please?

Okay, can I listen to your
necklace?

No, you can't. Will you
Just sit still...

Why is there a skeleton?
over there?

I don't know, Walter,
Could you please...?

If I squint it looks like a
pirate flag.

Could you please have him?
Sit still?

Does he have a name? No,
He hasn't got a name.

I'm sorry, Ben, I am sorry.

I have a lot of patients
waiting.

Would you please it still?
Please.

He got mad at me. Yes, he did.
He did.

The sooner you sit still,
The sooner we can

Get this mess over with.

Okay. Then can we eat sugar
plums?

You betch a... we'll eat sugar
Plums,

Have gingerbread houses,
And we'll even paint eggs.

Well, paint eggs, that's Easter.

Ow! Ohh...

My finger has a heartbeat.

It won't hurt so much after
a little.

What's your name?

Buddy.

I'm Carolyn.

Hi.

What do you want for Christmas?

A Suzy-talks-a-lot.

I'll put in a good word with
the big man.

Thanks. Your costume is pretty.

Oh, it's not a costume.
I'm an elf.

Well, technically, I'm a human,

But I was raised by elves.

Oh, I'm a human raised by humans.

Hmm. Cool.

So?

It's a boy... buddy's your son.

That's very impossible.

You... you saw that guy out there.

He's... he's certifiably insane.

He's probably just reverting

To a state of childlike
dependency.

An elf?

What he needs is to be nurtured.

Oh, I see.

So, um, uh...

You'd like me to breastfeed him?

Walter, just bring him home.

Introduce him to Emily and
Michael,

And once... once he comes to
Terms with reality,

He should drop the whole elf
Thing and move on with his life.

I mean, that's what I would do if
I was you.

Oh, my god! Walter, this is...

This is wonderful,

You... you have another son.

Wonderful. Oh, gosh, I...

I guess I never really thought
of it that way.

This is incredible, I...

You know, it's a little
complicated,

But it's nothing that we can't
handle.

Honey? What?

He thinks he's an elf.

I'm sorry, what?

He think she's a Christmas elf.

Oh, come on, Walter,

I'm sure he doesn't actually
think he's an elf.

And then, I traveled through
the seven levels

Of the candy cane forest,

Past the sea of swirly-twirly
gumdrops,

And then, I walked through the
Lincoln tunnel.

Ahh.

So, where were you for the
last 30 years?

The north pole.

Can you pass the maple syrup?
Please?

I... I didn't put... it's
spaghetti.

Oh, you know what? I think
I have some.

Yes.

You like sugar, huh?

Is there sugar in syrup?

Yes.

Then yes.

We elves try to stick to the
four main food groups

Candy, candy canes, candy corns,
and syrup.

So, will you be staying with us?
Then?

You mean I can stay?

Of course you can. Emily.

How... how long do you think
you'll be with us?

I... I hadn't really planned
it out,

But I was thinking, like...
forever.

Emily? Can I just speak to you
for a minute

in the, uh, kitchen, please?

Are you crazy? He cannot
stay here.

Clearly he has some serious issues.

We can't just throw him out in
the snow.

Why not? He loves the snow.

He's told me 15 times.

Walter, he's your son.

Did you hear that?

You are so weird.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad!

What?

What?

I am not gonna tuck you in.

I... I promise I'll go right
to sleep.

Fine.

Tickle fight, tickle fight!
buddy, stop.

Tickle fight. Tickle... stop
stop, stop.

Sorry.

It's all right.

Hey, uh...

You just lay there and go to
sleep.

Okay.

Okay.

Dad? Hmm?

I love you.

Okay. Go to sleep now.

Well, this is really something.

I'm usually the one making
breakfast.

That's good, that's good.

Okay.

Oh, that's good.

Good? Good.

Good.

So, did you, um...

Did you sleep okay last night?

Great. I got a full 40 minutes.

And I had time to build that
rocking horse.

Uh, oh, my gosh. You actually
made that?

Where did you get all the wood?

Good morning, honey. Good
morning, dad.

Walter, buddy has made us
breakfast.

Isn't that nice?

And lunch.

And lunch.

Bye.

So, dad, how many scoops?

I'll stick with the coffee now,
thanks.

So, dad...

I planned out our whole day.

First, we'll make snow angels
for two hours,

And then we'll go ice skating
and then we'll eat a
whole roll

Of tollhouse cookie dough as fast
as we can,

And then, to finish, we'll snuggle.

I've got to go to work, buddy.

Oh, and another thing...

If you're going to be staying
here,

You should think about, you know,

Getting rid of the costume.

But I've worn this my whole life.

You're not in the North Pole any
longer.

You wanna make me happy, don't you?

More than anything.

Then, lose the tights. I mean,
as soon as possible.

As soon as possible?

As soon as possible.

Okay.

I almost forgot...

Aah! Aah!

Good morning.

Walter here.

It worked, it's you.

How'd you get this number?

Emily left an emergency list.

I see.

And, uh, is this an emergency?

There's a horrible noise

Coming from the evil
box underneath the window.

It sounds like this...

It's, uh, it's... it's not evil,
buddy,

It's, uh, it's a radiator,

And the heat makes noise when
it comes on.

No, it doesn't. It... It's very
evil.

It's scary to look at. It's...
okay...

I'm going toward... oh, wait.
Yes, it is.

Okay, it's okay. It's okay.

Everything's fine.

You were right.

Okay, good, uh, I'm gonna hang
up now.

I love you.

I'll call you in five minutes.

No, no, buddy, don't, uh...

You... you don't have to call me,
okay?

Good idea, you call me.

Okay. I'm gonna hang up now.

I painted a picture of a
butterfly.

Good. I'm gonna hang up now.

I tuned the piano.

Okay, I love you. Bye.

Mmm...

Mmm... Mmm.

Mmm.

Hobbs. Hey!

How you doing? Please, sit
down.

I haven't seen you since
the retreat.

You're looking good.

Oh, thank you very much.
You as well.

To what do I owe the, uh,
pleasure?

Well, to be honest, I got a call
from my niece.

She wants to know

How a certain puppy and a
certain pigeon

Escape the clutches of a
certain evil witch.

Believe me, uh,

We're already looking for new
printers.

This one has obviously gotten a
little sloppy.

Maybe it isn't the printer who's
gotten sloppy.

That's your signature, right?

You know, we could sit here and
point fingers all day.

I've got news for you...

Even if those two pages were
in there,

The book still would have sucked.

Have you seen the numbers for
this quarter?

Uh, they'll be here today. Oh,
they're in.

That frigging puppy and pigeon

Are tanking hard, Hobbs.

My people estimate we're
gonna post

A minus eight for this quarter.

A minus eight! That does not
happen!

You know, we'll... we'll bounce
back, we...

No, no, no. No? Well...

We're gonna ship a new book

The first quarter.

First quarter?

I'm gonna be back in town on
the 24th.

At that time, I would love
to hear

In exact detail

What your plans are for this
new book.

Uh, wait a minute, the, uh
the 24th, that's Christmas
eve.

And?

And, uh...

No problem. Be great to have
you in the loop.

All right, I got every
weapon in the game.

I got full health, I got full
armor.

Michael!

I got full...

Michael!

It's me buddy!

You know that guy?

No, I've never seen him before.

It's me buddy! Your brother!

Oh, man.

No, Michael! Wait! It's your
brother bud...

Sorry. Sorry! Horn honks

Michael! Michael!

Michael!

Michael, wait up!

Michael! Michael!

Wow, you're fast.

I'm gladi caught up with you.

I waited five hours for you.

Why is your coat so big?

So, good news... I saw a dog
today.

Have you seen a dog?
You probably have.

How was school? Was it fun?

Did you get a lot of
homework, huh?

Do you have any friends?

Do you have a best friend?

Does he have a big coat, too?

Go away!

Ow! Son of a nutcracker!

Run!

Get him! Get the
green guy!

Oh, no. These guys are bad news.

We better get outta here.

You know what? We can take 'em.

Okay, just start making as
many snowballs as you can.

You ready?

Let's go. Aah! Ow.

Ow!

Run!

Oh, man. One got away.

Snowball.

Unh!

Wow.

Where did you say you were from?

Oh, yeah

Candles burning low

Lots of mistletoe

Lots of snow and ice everywhere
we go

Choirs singing carols right
outside my door

All these things and more

I wish dad were here.

Why?

'Cause he's the greatest dad in
the whole wide worid.

Are you kidding?

He's the worst dad in the worid.

What do you mean?

All he does is work.

Working's fun.

Not the way he does it.

All he cares about is money.

He doesn't care about you,
or me, or anybody.

Well, he is on the naughty list.

You like her?

Like who?

The girl you're staring at.

Oh, uh...

Yeah.

Why don't you ask her out?

Out?

You know, on a date...
to eat food.

Food?

Yes, real food, not candy.

And if she says yes,
you're in.

It's like a secret code
giris have.

Well, look who it is.

Hi, Jovie. Hi.

Oh, uh, this is Michael.

I'm his brother.

Hi.

So, what are you doing here?

Did gimbel's give you your
job back?

No. But things worked out
pretty good.

They gave mea restraining
order.

Well, um, you should probably
get outta here.

Ho ho ho!

But... I really wanted to
see you,

And... and I think you're
beautiful, and I, um...

I feel really warm when I
am around you,

And, um, my tongue swells up.

So...

Do you wanna go eat food?

Do I... do I wanna eat food?

Mm-hmm.

You know, uh, the code... food.

Well, I just had my lunch
break.

Oh, okay. I understand.

But I'm free on Thursday.

Thursday! Thursday!

Come on. That'd be great.

All right.

Was that okay?

You did great, man.

What should we put on it
first?

Lights! Oh, good.

And then, after that?

Ornaments! Ornaments, okay.

What the hell's that?

A Christmas tree.

A Christmas tree?

Buddy chopped it down in
the park.

Emily.

I don't know what you're making
such a big deal about.

They were just having a
little fun.

Oh, fun? So felonies are
fun now?

I thought, see, felonies
were felonies.

Okay, the tree thing was bad.

I'll get him to plant
another one.

But at least Michael is
happy for once.

What, uh, what's that supposed
to mean?

Well, I don't think it's any
secret, Walter,

That you haven't exactly been
there for him.

I'll tell you what, why don't
we just

Pull him outta school and let
the, uh,

Deranged elf man raise him?

Then they can have lots of
fun committing felonies.

How are we gonna get the star
on top?

I got it.

I mean, what are we gonna do?

We can't... we can't leave him
alone here.

He's gonna destroy the place.

Why don't you, um...

Why don't you take off tomorrow?

You know, and you could stay
home and watch him?

Oh, no. No, I can't stay home
tomorrow,

I have a budget meeting tomorrow.

Well, honey, I can't take off,

I'm one... one bad pitch away

From getting fired... one.

Well, I tell you what, I have
an idea then.

Why don't you take buddy to
work with you?

Hey, Walter. Morning, jack.

Morning, jack.

Oh, good morning, Mr. Hobbs.

Good morning, Sarah. Good
morning, Sarah.

That's a nice purple dress.
It's very purple-y

Francisco. How's it going, Mr.
Hobbs?

Francisco, that's fun to say..."
Francisco."

Hi! Hi.

Do you remember me?

I do. I didn't recognize you.

I know, I'm in work clothes.

Thank you, Deborah.

Thanks, deb.

Deb, you have such a pretty face.

You should be on a Christmas card.

You just made my day.

Eww.

Buddy. Hmm?

You don't have to drink that.

Thank you.

Francisco.

Francisco.

Francisco.

Francisco.

Buddy?

Just... just a little.

Yes, bud?

Why is your name on the desk?

I bought the desk.

My name's there so no one
steals it.

That's a joke, isn't it, dad?

Yeah, buddy, that's a joke.

So, what are we gonna build?

No, uh, we don't do

That kind of work here, pal.

Buddy the elf, what's your
favorite color?

Put that down. Hello?

Hello? Dial tone

Please, don't touch anything.

Sorry.

Hey...

Bud, have you... have you...

Have you ever seen a mailroom?

A mailroom? No.

No? No.

Oh, I mean, wow.

Wow... listen, it's a
place where mail

From all over the worid
comes,

Uh-huh. And they sort it
out there, see?

And you can touch it all,

And they put it in these
shiny bins.

Shiny bins? Right.

What do ya think? It
sounds great.

Good.

Can we go there?

Well, um...

I gotta work here, maybe... maybe
you can work there.

Okay, I'll work there.

Oh, I don't think this is
the place

My dad was talking about.

Is there a different mailroom?

No. This is the only one.

It's not very shiny.

Now... over here's the trench.

All the mail comes out that
shooter.

Scan and find the floor each
piece is moving to.

Put it in a canister

And shove it up the tube with
the same number.

You got that?

I think so.

This place reminds me of
Santa's workshop.

Except it smells like mushrooms,

And everyone looks like they
wanna hurt me.

Uh, greenway's coming in tomorrow,

So, what... what do we got?

Well, Morris and I have been
brainstorming,

And we've come up with what I
think

Is a pretty big idea.

Great, what?

You're gonna love it, it's
fantastic.

What?

Okay, picture this...

We bring in miles finch.

The miles finch?

The golden ghost.

We bring him in!

He's written more classics than dr.
Seuss.

I tain't gonna be easy,

But I think it's worth a shot.

My two top writers, my crack team,
my fun squad...

You came in here pitching me

The idea of hiring another writer?

Yeah.

Miles finch.

I like it. Chuckles

I like it.

Then I traveled through the seven
levels

Of the candy cane forest

And past the sea of swirly-twirly
gumdrops.

Ooh!

Wow... it's sucky.

Ohh, it's wonderful. Yes!

That is marvelous how that...

Oh!

Oh, it's very sucky.

It's very... sucky.

Whoo.

So, how'd you get here?

Work release.

Mm.

Oh, syrup and coffee?

Why didn't I think of that? Can I
try some?

Be my guest.

Very generous of you.

Mmm. I love syrup.

Ohh, I love it.

Mmm...

You know, I know I sound like a
broken record,

But we are buddies.

You're my best friend, that's it.

You're my best friend.

You know, buddy, nobody around
here listens to me.

I got really good ideas. Yeah?
I believe it.

I know, I'm right, I listen to you.

You have great ideas.

I just try to go with the flow,
you know?

Good, you go with the flow.

Yeah. Go with the flow.

No, I gotta get out of the flow.

Well, then get out of the flow.

I'm in the flow, that's what got
me here.

I gotta... I'm 26 years old, I got
nothing to show for it.

You're young. You're so young.

My papa... yeah?

He didn't make master tinker till
he was 490,so...

Four-hundred and ninety? Yeah.

Tickle fight! Tickle fight!

Tickle fight! Tickle fight!

My favorite book of yours has
gotta be Gus' pickles.

It's existential, yet it's so
accessible.

Uh, Mr. Finch, uh, Eugene Dupris
here.

It's a thrill just to be talking
to you

On our speakerphone.

Miles, um, so, what do you think?

Can you fly in tomorrow?

I'll give you five hours tomorrow,

Not a minute more.

Oh, that's... that's great.

I'd like a black s500to receive
me at the airport.

I need the interior of that car

To be 71 degrees exactly.

We can do that. Deborah: Mr. Hobbs?

There's a situation downstairs.

I'm sorry, what?

No, hold on, miles. Deb, hang up.

I do not hold. Do not put
me on hold.

We have a problem in the
mailroom.

What's going on?

Don't speak... Deborah, hang up!

That's it, I'm gone. Miles!

I'll be there tomorrow... 71
degrees.

Sir, chuck in the mailroom

Needs to talk to you.

Chuck... what, chuck?

I mean, what could be going on
down there

That's so important you had to
interrupt me, what?

Whoomp, there it is! A little
louder

Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all

Whoomp! There it is

Upside down and inside out hey!

I'm 'bout to show all you folks

What it's all about hey!

Time for me to get on the mike

And make this mother of a party
hype

I'm taking you back to the old
school

'cause I'm an old fool who's so cool

If you wanna get down, I'm gonna
show you the way

Whoomp, there it is, let me hear
you say

Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all

Whoomp! There it is a little louder

Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all

Whoomp, there it is!

Coming.

Hi.

Wow.

You look miraculous.

So do you.

Thank you.

What would you like to do?

I got some ideas.

Just reach out in front of you and
and take a sip.

Don't look. There you go.

Well?

It tastes like a crappy cup
of coffee.

No.

It is a crappy cup of coffee.

No, it's the worid's best cup
of coffee.

The trick is to not get your arm caught
in the door!

Also, never close your eyes' cause
then

Okay, when you feel comfortable, you
just jump in!

what are you doing?

I'm skipping. I'm skipping.
I'm skipping.

Wait, wait, wait... one more, one more.

Now, look at the size of this one.

Come with me.

Watch out.

Yellow ones don't stop.

The yellow ones don't stop.

Wow... that's a big one.

I'm sorry.

You missed.

What do you mean I missed?

You missed.

Miles finch.

Miles finch.

Miles finch.

All right, let's do this.

Miles, I'm so happy you could come
Uh...

Yeah.

I'm Walter Hobbs. Yeah, let's get
the, uh...

Taken care of so we can get started
here.

Here you go.

Great.

All right... clears throat

What have you guys got so far?

Go ahead.

Uh...

We were thinking, uh, something
like this, uh...

We open on a young tomato.

He's had some tough times down
at the farm

With, you know, a rabbit, and...

No. No tomatoes...

Too vulnerable.

Kids, they're already vulnerable.

No, you see? I... I told you guys.

I told them the very same thing...

And no farms.

Every body's pushing small town
rural.

A farm book would just be white
noise.

What about this?

Uh, a tribe of asparagus children,

But they're self-conscious about
the way their pee smells.

Apparently, all we have is
vegetables.

I have no time, so, you know,

If you've got a story here...

I've got about five or six great
starts here.

I've got one idea that
I'm especially

Psyched out of my mind about.

You know, it's one of those ideas

Where you're just like, uh...

Yes!

Whoa!

Uh, great, c-could we hear it?

I'll start with the cover.
Picture this... you got, uh

Dad! I'm in love, I'm in love,

And I don't care who knows it!

Buddy, not now, uh,

Can you please go back to the...
to the pit?

I'll come and visit you in a
little while, okay?

I didn't know you had elves
working here.

Oh... boy, you're... you're hilarious,
my friend.

He doesn't, uh... get back to

The story, please. All right, okay.

So, on the cover above the title...

Does Santa know that you left the
workshop?

You know, we're all laughing our
heads off.

Did you have to borrow a reindeer
to get down here?

Buddy... go back to the basement.

Hey, jack weed,

I get more action in a week

Than you've had your entire life.

I've got houses in I.e., Paris,
and Vail,

Oh. Each one of them

with a 70-inchplasma screen.

So, I suggest you wipe

That stupid smile off your face

Before I come over there and smack
it off!

You feeling strong, my friend?!

Call me elf one more time!

He's an angry elf.

Look at you.

Ow! Hey, what...

Aah!

I wasn't ready for that.

Aah! Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Whoa!

Ooh...

Call me elf one more time!

Call me elf!

You're an elf.

Miles, I'm sorry, he... he thinks
he's an elf.

Listen, miles...

Listen, miles! Door slams

He must be a South Pole elf.

You get the hell outta here.

Where do you want me to go?

I don't care where you go.

I don't care that you're an elf!

I don't care that you're nuts!

I don't care that you're my son!

Get out of my life now!

Hi, it's me.

I really can't talk right now.

Well, just tell me how the pitch
went.

I'm gonna be a little later than
I thought, okay?

Well, don't be too late, Walter,

It's Christmas Eve.

Walter... wait, um.

Honey, I gotta go, okay? Love ya.

Oh, say hi to buddy.

What? Walter, breakthrough.

We found this in the conference
room.

What is it?

It's miles finch's notebook.

This thing is chock full of
genius ideas.

I mean, look at that.

And his best idea is about a
peach that lives on a farm.

What's more vulnerable than a
peach?

What, uh, what do we do?

I think we should go with the
first pitch... it's genius.

Uh, how much time we got?

We got, like, 45 minutes. Well,
come on, let's, uh,

Try to get a storyboard or
something ready.

Come on, let's do it. Just try.

No, you can't sit down and get a
storyboard ready.

Go and get a storyboard ready.

Oh, boy! Go.

"I'm sorry I ruined your lives

"And crammed 11 cookies into
the vcr.

"I don't belong here. I don't
belong anywhere.

I'll never forget you. Love,
buddy."

God...

Hey, buddy.

Buddy?

As you know, we need a big
launch fast

To get the company back on
track.

So, I think I speak for my fellow
board members

When I say... this better be good.

Before I get into the story, uh,

Let me start with the cover, okay?

Now, just picture this...

Dad! I gotta talk to you.

Walter: Michael, what is it?

Buddy ran away.

What? He... he left a note.

I'm scared, dad, he's gone.

Uh, let me just finish this
meeting,

And then, um, we'll figure it
out, okay?

Figure out what? Buddy cares
about everybody.

All you care about is yourself.

Hey, Michael.

Wait.

We're gonna have to reschedule
this, uh, Mr. Greenway.

We don't have time to reschedule.

I wanna hear the damn thing now.

Son, you'll have to wait.

No, d-don't tell my kid what
to do, uh...

Can't... can't we do this another
time, Mr. Greenway?

I flew in just to hear this pitch,

And I intend to.

It's gonna have to wait.

If you wanna keep your job, Hobbs,

You will pitch me this book
right now.

Well... up yours.

Yeah, up yours. Hey.

Hobbs... Hobbs!

Hobbs, you walk out of here,

And... and you're finished at
greenway!

You're finished!

I don't belong anywhere.

Buddy!

Buddy!

Buddy, where are you?!

Prancer, pull! Come on! Come on!

Vixen, up, up!

Santa?

Come on, you can do it.

Pull up! Pull up!

Dad! What?

Michael, where you going?

Michael!

Santa.

Back off, slick. You'll scare
the deer.

Buddy, is that you?

Are you okay?

Boy, am I glad to see you.

The Claus meter suddenly just
dropped down to zero.

There's just no Christmas
spirit anymore.

And then the strain was too
Much...

The engine broke free of her
mounts.

I need an elf's help.

I... I'm not an elf, Santa.

I... I can't do anything right.

Buddy, you're more of an elf than
anyone I ever met,

And the only one who I would want

Working on my sleigh tonight.

Really? Really.

Will you fix it for me, buddy?

I'll try. Papa taught me how.

You gotta find it first.

It dropped off the sleigh back
over there a ways.

The engine? The engine, yeah.

Go, buddy. Go, Mr. Elf!

I'm standing here outside
central park

Where it is unclear exactly
what has happened.

What we do know is that
authorities

Have closed the park

And are in the process of
clearing it.

The only thing that people can
seem to agree on here

Is that they saw something fall
from the sky.

I've got an eyewitness with me

Who claims to have seen the whole
thing firsthand.

What did you actually see?

You know, I was walking around and
I saw this thing,

And my daughter actually pointed
it out to me.

Oh, your daughter saw it?

Sweetheart, can you tell me

What you saw falling out of the
sky?

It was Santa's sleigh!

Santa's sleigh, well, there you
have it.

Santa's in Manhattan.

Sorry to interrupt your first big
news story, charlotte,

But New York one has just received

Some exclusive amateur news footage

That you just might Anna follow
up on.

There seems to be a strange man
dressed as an elf

Wandering through central park.

Now, I don't know if this is the
kind of hard-hitting news

You're used to covering in buffalo,
charlotte,

Oh, my god. But here at New York one,

News is top priority.

What the heck...?

Hey!

You found it. Buddy!

I need to tell you something.

No, no. Buddy, there's something

I have to tell you right now.

Um, I didn't mean anything I said back
there, not word.

I know you may be a little, um, um...

Uh, chemically imbalanced,

But you've been right about a lot
of things.

I... I don't want you to leave.

You're my son, and I... love you.

Uh, buddy, uh...

What was it you wanted to tell me?

Oh, right. Come with me.

Right. Come on.

I'm herewith another eyewitness

Who has his own versi?n of what
happened.

Sir, what did you see?

I think you're great, charlotte.

Uh, I saw something fall from the
sky

Right into the middle of central
park.

I mean, you're a great news lady.

Thank you.

Could you tell me a bit more?

About what you saw fall from the
sky?

Yeah, yeah. Your eyes tell the
story,

That's what I love about you.
You've got a great mouth.

The thing just dropped in the middle of
central park.

It was amazing, and everybody's, like,
going crazy.

Dick, uh, according to authorities,

The area has been cleared.

Only the central park rangers now
remain in the park.

These forces are highly trained,

But rarely see action.

Some have accused them of being
too gung ho

When called into duty,

And their controversial crowd
control tactics

At the Simon and Garfunkel concert
in '85

Are still under investigation.

I knew you'd find it, Mr. Elf!

Slap it on real quick, we've got
to get going.

That ta boy.

So, uh... you're, uh...

Santa Claus. Right.

Would you mind taking this to
your firstborn?

Sure.

Um, uh, and my firstborn, he's
an elf?

Yes. Actually, I'm adopted.

Uh, Michael, would you open this
hatch for me, please?

That ta boy, thank you.

So, you're really Santa Claus?

You never can tell, kid.

Tell me, Michael,

What do you want for Christmas?

I wanted a skateboard.

Oh, not just skateboard.

Arealhuf board. Looked here.

Looked here...

How do you like them apples?

Go look and see.

Whoa.

What happened?

You made my sleigh fly.

What do you mean?

Well, before the turbine days,

This baby used to run solely on
Christmas spirit.

You believed in me. You made my
sleigh fly.

Hold it... if you're really Santa
Claus,

Then we can just get some news
cameras in here,

And everyone will believe in you,

Then your sleigh will fly, right?

Christmas spirit is about believing,
not seeing.

If the whole worid saw me,
all would be lost.

The paparazzi have been trying to
nail me for years.

Hey, look!

Oh, no.

It's the central park rangers.

Dad, Michael... I got a plan.

Santa: Whoa, wait! Wait, Michael...
my list!

You bring that list back right now,
you hear me?!

Come on, give me your hat and coat.

Mrs. Claus made them for me.

Hey! Hey, here I am!

Ho ho ho!

Hey, ho ho ho! Hey! Hey!

Excuse me. Thank you. Excuse me.

So the authorities have not
discovered

Any reindeer in the park?

No, no reindeer. Sleigh bells?

No, no sleigh bells, either.

Elves? Excuse me, please.

None of that, we really just
need everyone...

It's him, it's the real Santa!

His sleigh won't fly,' cause nobody
believes in him!

Charlotte: Did you see something
in the park?

Everyone out there,

Santa needs us to believe,
I can prove he's real.

Look, this is his list!

Okay... well, further confirmation

That there has been a Santa
sighting tonight.

We have the naughty and nice list.

Lynn Kessler wants a power puff
giris play set.

Mark weber wants an electric
guitar.

Yes!

Carolyn Reynolds wants a Suzy-
talks-a-lot.

Thanks, buddy.

Dirk Lawson wants

A day of pampering at burke
Williams spa.

Stan Tobias wants a power pumper
water pistol.

Must be another dirk Lawson.

Dave keckler wants some Nike
shocks.

Okay, uh, well, obviously we have

A new development in the story, uh,

A confirmation that Santa must
have been sighted

Because we have his book right
here.

what's your name?

Uh, I'm charlotte den on, New York one.

"D," "D..."

Charlotte den on wants tiffany
engagement ring

And for her boyfriend to stop
dragging his feet

And commit already.

We've got power!

Charlotte...
charlotte?

Hey, turn the cameras back on!

Who told you to say that?

It's the real Santa.

We need to get these cameras
back on.

He needs our help!

Hey, Michael, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

But buddy, he's... he's in the
park with Santa,

The sleigh won't fly

'cause there's no Christmas
spirit.

Michael! Mom!

Michael! Ohh!

Are you okay? I'm fine.

The best way to spread
Christmas cheer

Is singing loud for all
to hear.

Buddy... better get going,
get in now!

Santa, I'm not done with the
engine yet!

Can't wait!

On, dasher, on, dancer...

I'm not done with the engine!

That's okay.

You get started, I'll catch up!

You know, he wasn't lying.

Merry Christmas.

Santa, I can't...

Stop messing around and get in!

Aah!

Santa, why are they chasing us?!

I put the mon the naughty list,

And they never forgave me.

You better watch out,
you better not cry

You better not pout,
I'm telling you why

Santa Clausis coming' to town

Yaah, yaah, yaah!

Up, up, pull up!

Buddy! We need power, we're
gonna crash!

He's making a list,
Checking it twice

Gonna find out who's naughty and nice

Santa clausis coming' to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake

Oh, you better watch out,
you better not cry

You better not pout, I'm telling
you why

Santa Clausis coming to town

Aah!

You can do it!
Come on, dancer.

That's my boy.

Pull, cupid! Aah!

Pull, dasher!

I'm getting too old for this job.

Now!

The engine's gone!

We're toast!

Well, still no sign of Santa,

But some spontaneous Christmas
caroling

Has broken out

Right herein front of central
park.

Let's have a listen in.

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows if you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or
good

So be good for goodness sake

Hey!

You better watch out, you better
not cry

You better not pout, I'm telling
you why

Come on!

Santa clausis coming' to town

Santa: Just a little more!

Hal-yah!

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've

Wait... you're not singing.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not. You're just moving
your lips.

Santa!

Michael, please, what's the big deal?

Dad.

I'm telling you why

Santa clausis coming to town

Oh! Ha ha ha!

Now, my beauties!

Bye-bye.

Just like the old days!

Charlotte? Charlotte?

Well, I guess we'll never know for
sure

What happened this Christmas Eve?

In central park.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Ho ho ho!

And so, with a little help,

Buddy managed to save Christmas.

And his spirit saved a lot of other
People, too.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

Walter started his own independent
publishing company.

His first book was written by a
brand new,

Critically acclaimed children's
author.

The book was elf...

A, uh, fictional story

About an adopted elf named buddy

Who was raised in the North Pole?

Went to New York, ate spaghetti,

Worked in a shiny mailroom,

And eventually saved Christmas.

"First, I traveled through the
seven levels

"Of the candy cane forest,

"Past the sea of twirly-swirly
gumdrops,

And then, I walked through the
Lincoln tunnel."

And as for me, I can't complain.

Buddy comes up to visit from time
to time.

In the meadow we can build a
snowman

And pretend that he is parson
brown

Oh, thank you, Jovie. That's very
sweet of you.

You're welcome, papa.

But you can do the job when
you're in town

Hey, Suzie.

Come here, little one.

When it snows, ain't it
thrilling?

Papa wants to see you.

Though your nose get a
little chilling

Buddy...

We'll frolic and play buddy...
buddy...

The Eskimo way, walking in a
winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a
snowman

And pretend that he is parson
brown

He'll say, are you married,
we'll say no, man

But you can do the job when you
in town, brother

Later on, we'll conspire

As we dream by the fire

To face unafraid the plans
That we made

Walking in a winter wonderland

Walking in a winter wonderland

I really can't stay

But, baby, it's cold outside

I've got to go 'way

But, baby, it's cold outside

This evening has been

Been hoping that you'd drop in

So very nice

I'll hold your hands, they're
just like ice

My mother will start to worry

Beautiful, what's your hurry?

And father will be pacing the floor

Listen to that fireplace roar

So, really, I'd better scurry

Beautiful, please don't hurry

Well, maybe just a half a drink more

Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think

Baby, it's bad out there

Say, what's in this drink?

No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how

Your eyes are like starlight now

To break the spell

I'll take your hat, your hair
looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Mind if I move in closer?

At least I'm gonna say that I
tried

What's the sense of hurting
my pride?

I really can't stay

Baby, don't hold out

Ah, but it's cold outside

I simply must go

But, baby, it's cold outside

The answer is no

But, baby, it's cold outside

This welcome has been

I'm lucky that you dropped in

So nice and warm

Look out the window at that
storm

My sister will be suspicious

Gosh, your lips look delicious

My brother will be there at
the door

Waves upon tropical shore

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious

Oh, your lips look delicious

Well, maybe just a cigarette more

Never such a pleasure before

I've got to get home

But, baby, you'll freeze out there

Say, lend me your comb

It's up to your knees out there

You've really been grand

I thrill when you touch my hand

But don't you see

How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow

Think of my lifelong sorrow

At least there will be plenty
implied

If you caught pneumonia and died

I really can't stay

Get rid of that hold out

Ah, but it's cold

Outside