El amante bilingüe (1993) - full transcript
Joan Mares obsession for the lovely and luscious Norma Valenti takes epic proportions because he cannot let go of her. After he is injured by some skin heads, he uses his scars to pursue his life as a street musician. He devices a plan to get to Norma and she never catches on to his deceit
This was the setting
for my childhood incursions.
Barcelona in the 50'S.
A popular district
in the city.
By then, my mother
was already 50 years old.
Her aspect
was so deplorable...
...that people called her
"Madame Wino".
Long ago,
she'd been Rita Beni...
...and had enjoyed some
prestige as a chorus girl.
This China man is my Dad.
His real name
is Rafael Mares,...
...but even he seems
to have forgotten it...
...and everyone calls him
Fu Ching The Magician.
As a child,
I dreamed of going away,...
...of leaving the district
and shabbiness.
I managed it with Norma.
THE BILINGUAL LOVER
Five years of marriage
were more than enough...
...to discover Norma's
true personality.
One November evening
of bitter memory,...
...I returned home
unexpectedly...
In one moment,
the most cruel
and ironic evidence,...
...reflected mirror-like
my sad image,...
...that of a man overcome
by jealousy,...
...aware that he has lost
all,...
...even In own self esteem.
Shit.
What are you doing?
I was just...
This is demeaning!
?'5 too much!
What now?
Say something, man!
Speak up!
Yeah, well, it's just...
I saw those incredible
shoes you got here.
And I thought I'd while
the time away.
I shine shoes for a living,
you see.
L see
I (10 see.
Well...
- I'm off now.
- No, you're not.
You're not going anywhere
until I say so.
It ain't that bad, man.
Let him go, Joan.
It's your fault for coming
home earlier than usual.
I'm fine.
I'm calm.
Stop shining that shoe!
That's my thing,
shining shoes.
I came back( home
when I should.
I stopped at three bars
and had three coffees.
I walked up and down
the Ramblas three times.
And this happens
to be my house!
Although I paid for n.
I'll be leaving now.
- You're staying.
- Yeah, but...
- You're staying!
- What for?
What for?
Don't you shine shoes?
Well, go ahead!
Yes, sir.
That's right, shine them!
Good and hard!
Whatever you say.
And when you're done...
I'm sick of him.
Damn ninny.
Fucking asshole, moron.
Come on, shine away!
You keep on talking,
you'll get your ass kicked.
IS this the first time?
Answer me, is it?
Yes, sir.
- No need to "6 to me.
- But it is, I swear it.
But you knew the lady'?
- I didn't.
I shined her shoes once
two months ago.
Pure chance.
Keep the apartment.
It's another gift
from the Valenti family.
See you!
You got good shoes.
Norma bought them.
She's got taste.
You'll probably wonder
how she could fall for me.
Believe me,
I'll never forget that day,...
...the day l saw Norma
for the first time.
One afternoon,
in the Fall Of 1970,...
...I came out Of the movies...
...and dropped by
the Friends of Unesco's...
...where there was
an exhibition.
As I was about to leave...
Can someone open the door?
- You want to go?
- I certainly do.
Sorry, but you can't leave
until tomorrow morning.
And by then,
the cops might be here.
It was a protest
against the Burgs trial,...
...there had been
nine death sentences.
Water?
Norma simply fascinated me
and I decided to join...
...the hunger strike.
We spent tour unforgettable
days together.
A big house?
I've got one.
With a big room'?
- I've got rt.
And a huge bed?
I've got it.
Us immigrants
always liked big sizes.
Alright.
1018358
I know you guys
are still asleep,...
...but all hell
may break lose...
...and we can't be caught
unaware.
She told us what we should do
if the cops came in.
We were not to answer
provocations no matter what.
They'll call us names,
the worst we've heard.
They may even beat us.
I didn't pay much attention.
My finger was exploring
Norma's cracks.
When the cops forced
the door...
Goddamn fucking sons
of Passionate!
Everybody stand up!
Attention!
Well?
YOU scared?
YOU won't want to eat
when I'm done!
Goddamn hunger strike!
What is it?
I saw red and hit him
with my closed fist.
Such a deed only got me
two weeks in jail...
...thanks to the influence
of Norma's family.
I got out...
...and she was there.
- Where are we going?
- Home.
It's no easy feat
for a humble man like me,...
...a ventriloquist who liked
playing the accordion,...
...to walk into the Valenti's
luxurious villa...
...led by their only child
and heiress.
Norma is our only child,
sir.
We're proud of her.
- Tell me, are you Catholic?
- Only one thing matters.
Is he a good boy?
He certainly looks like one.
Are you a good boy?
It turned out to be
very easy.
Norma's parents both adored
and feared their daughter.
They asked very little
Of me...
...and my social position.
Do you remember our wedding,
Jordi?
I do, I do.
One;-"
...two,...
..."three.
One more
I was in no shape
to explain the events...
...which were changing
the course of my life...
...in such an unexpected
and agreeable way.
Who are you?
Why choose me?
So you could screw me good
and hard.
"lam
Sadly enough, today,
I can see my misfortune.
I've never been more
than a toy,...
...a passing whim.
Before you,
as far as I know,...
...there's been a waiter,
a taxi driver...
...and a black macrame
salesman.
None of them spoke Catalonian,
of course.
And now bootblack
she found in a bar.
Good Lord.
Well, I've finished my work.
L gotta go-
I should give you something
for your trouble.
Don't be an ass
All I can do is shoot myself.
Don't say that.
Shoot yourself, hell!
The best you can do
is go after your wife.
Deep down, she loves you.
I know it.
I'm off. Take care, man.
Get a move on.
The fascists are coming!
Come on,
let's get out of here!
Hurry up! The fascists!
come OI]!
Long live Spain!
Catalonia is Spanish!
Shoot the motherfuckers!
Spain is one nation!
Catalonia is Spanish!
Spain is one!
No separatism!
Spain is free!
FUCK the Catalonian
national anthem!
A FEW YEARS LATER
Mr. Mares.
EXCUSE me.
There's a package for you.
There's only one lift
working.
Wait! Wait!
Thank you very much.
There's a full moon.
Musician,
victim Of dreadful fire...
...has turned
into the Phantom of the Opera...
...and needs help.
That's all, everyone.
You should all go home lo watch
the Barcelona match, and I will loo.
Yeah, "chicken" is correct,
but "poultry" would be better.
Watch out for that fucking
subsecrelary. She's clueless.
You have a call.
It's more Catalonian,
more appropriate.
All right.
Linguistic Consultants.
Hello?
- I have a question.
- Go ahead.
I was told to ask for
Mrs. Norma Valenti.
The "socializing."
- Socio-linguist.
- Right.
That '5 me. GO ahead.
Well, I have a shop
with lingerie and undergarments
with signs in Spanish
for each section,
and I want IO put it all
in Catalonian, just in case
You know how pissed off
those crazy terrorists can get.
No need for insults,
you got that?
- God forbid!
- Please, go on. What do you need?
Just a little question.
- Nothing at all.
- Call "Serluz."
They offer a 10% discount
for any business
that orders signs in Catalonian.
They work for us.
I can't afford that,
my business is small.
How about I write them myself
by hand?
I just need you to tell me how
to write the words in Catalonian
for certain garments.
Okay, go ahead.
Well, I have 3 list right here.
It's a bit long, but...
Say it in Spanish
and I'll translate for you.
But quickly.
Jacket.
Vest.
Fucking weird!
- What do you want from me?
- on, right. Sorry about that.
You're very kind.
- I'm wasting your time.
- Continue.
Underwear
- Can you spell that?
- Sure, lady.
Bra and brassiere.
Garter belt.
Panties.
Robe.
Hey, that sounds offensive.
That's the word in Catalonian,
mister. Are you finished?
No, wait.
Wait.
Exhaust-pipe!
Wasn't it a lingerie shop?
Mine is, Mrs. Norma.
This one's for a friend
in the car business.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, Eudald.
How do you say "exhaust-pipe"?
Damn, that's a fucking tough one.
How about...
escape tube. "
How should I know?
No, no.
Here if is.
"Exhaust-pipe."
Look, that was a hard one for us.
It might be "exhaust-pipe"
but I'm not sure.
Try calling "Serluz."
"Exhaust-pipe."
That sounds wonderful.
With a hyphen
- Right, lady.
Right, this ignorant Spaniard
is eternally grateful
for your assistance.
Catalonia is such a rich,
wonderful land!
Don't mention it
- Have fun.
- Thank you!
Goodbye.
Pau Casals' natural son
is looking for an opportunity
Son of a bitch!
Silly bitch, twat, open game.
I wanna see your ass
hanging over the prow.
I bet your cunt juices
make a hole in the mattress.
Your knockers
are like two snorkers...
when I get my pecker
in to your hot tanker.
Congratulations,
you speak Catalonian.
I'd slide it in Norma
and fill her soul.
I could do
with a little tenderness...
...before giving in
to my nightmares.
Juan.
Juan Mares.
"Angels call it
divine enjoyment."
"Devils call it hellish pain."
"Men call it love."
"Love is a tempestuous trade...
...that always ends up
in bankruptcy."
"In love,...
...the one who has
the winning card...
...is always the one
who loves less."
Juan.
Juan Mares.
Wake up, kiddo.
Good evening to you.
You again?
What is it?
Norma Valenti
is waiting for us.
Like hell she is.
When was the last time
you screwed, Mares?
Going wacko would do you good.
Don't bother.
It won't work.
Sure it Will.
Trust me, asshole.
Put yourself in my hands.
I'll talk to her.
She'll go back lo you,
believe you me.
She won't even see me.
I'll go in your place.
Don't you get it?
Who are you?
You mean
you don't remember me?
I always forget my dreams.
I'm that kid
called Juan Faneca...
...who used to be your pal...
...and who went to Germany
to make money.
Well?
Remember me now, asshole?
NOW I do.
We both know...
...that Norma has a weakness
for immigrants.
Remember what happened
with the bootblack?
And what about that waiter
from Nijar,...
...a village
from the magic South?
I can guess your plan.
It won't work.
Trust me, Catalonian.
I won't!
Get lost!
Musician madly in love
needs help to feed his passion.
Madly in love again,
after all this time.
Your life and mine, Norma.
Remind me just one more time.
My heart suffers ceaselessly.
At your age and with that face?
Falling in love is madness.
?'5 indecent.
Falling in love again
with your own wife!
- The same woman.
- Shut up!
Madness is my only release.
You just won't accept
you got a small dick.
"Woman,...
...if you ever speak...
...to our Lord,...
...asked Him if I ever...
...stopped loving you."
"Ask the sea,...
...sole witness
to my heart,...
...how often
it has seen me cry..."
How about a drunk?
I got some yummy-yummy
omelet too.
And some finger licking good
chicken.
The monks' own.
15 % alcoholic content
More..
Again.
Mares,...
...is it true your wife
likes Gypsies?
- Who told you that?
- He did.
Does she?
She hasn't been my wife
for ages.
But I heard she fell
for a so alled Faneca.
Who's that?
Someone Who's me
and Who's someone else.
Someone who fucks up
his dreams.
For Heaven's sake,
look where you're going!
My contact lens!
My contact lens!
Help me, do something!
Good bye!
Juan Mares.
It's high time
you really went insane.
Being on the verge of madness
isn't enough.
I'll never be anything
but a lost dog.
I can never be you.
How about taking a bath,
Mares?
I'm the Phantom of the Opera.
Seeing me is enough
to scare that girl.
I frighten people.
Nobody's going to change that.
Come on, man.
At least try
If you really love her...
I love her.
My neighbor's eyes
aren't blue.
Neither are yours, pal.
Hi, cuckold.
Remember how your Dad
used to turn into Fu Ching?
Where's that miraculous box?
Use your head, man.
Your life depends on it.
You look good enough to eat.
How about playing a joke
on our neighbor?
She's got one blue eye,
like me.
Ain't we a bit tanked
to make up to that bimbo?
What we need here
is to use some cool...
...and show that noo broad
can resist us.
Ecstasy Lane
Hello there.
Ma'am, would you be so kind...
...as to answer
a few questions...
...for a public opinion poll?
Me answer a poll?
Your name was chosen
among thousands.
- Who is it for?
- The Catalonian government.
It Will be shown On T.V.
- Please come in.
- Thank you.
Come ill.
Sit down.
Please, sit down.
First Of all tell me
your name, please.
Griselda Ramos Gil.
Will it be shown On T.V.?
- That's right, Ma'am.
- DO Sit down.
Thank you.
Age?
MUS! I tell you?
layout don't mind.
You can knock
a few years off.
Well, I like you,...
...So I'll tell you:
I'm 37 years old.
- YOU don't look it.
- Thank you.
Profession?
I sell tickets
at a movie theater,...
...but I'm studying Catalonian
to work in the Corte Ingles.
Place Of birth?
Seville.
Marital status?
I'm a widow.
And free to do as you please.
?Ism
Don't be indiscreet.
The souffle.
What um your husband
die of, Ma'am?
This has nothing to do
with the poll.
I'm just curious.
- A bull gored him.
- A bullfighter?
Plain banderillero.
What bad luck.
I can't complain.
He left rather quietly.
Excuse me, Ma'am,...
...I don't know if I dare...
Go ahead,...
dare
You don't deserve
such bad luck.
With a Skin like yours,
as smooth as the Virgin's,...
...with a voice...
...so sweet and tender,...
...you shouldn't be alone
in this world, believe me.
Thank you.
And your eyes.
Your eyes are lovely.
M ay I see them?
How do you see me now, Ma'am?
AS in 3 dream.
Shortsighted people see fine
from up close.
Your eye is nice too.
What happened?
The bullring.
H can't be. YOU too?
A 500 kilo beast called Nero,
goddamn it.
Don't.
Every cloud
has a silver lining.
The patch looks good on you.
It gives you a mysterious air.
I'm glad you think so.
Alright.
Let's carry on.
The poll's question
is as follows:
Would you sign a petition
asking...
...the Parliament
Of Catalonia...
...for the tenor
Josep Carreras...
...to be no longer considered
a Spanish glory...
...but rather
a universal Catalonian?
Think about it carefully
before answering.
You see,
I'm Andalusian,...
...but there's nothing
to think about.
My answer is yes.
What's more,...
...Carreras and Caballe...
...should sing all operas
in Catalonian.
Don't you agree?
I don't know, Ma'am.
I'm only doing my lob.
Anyway,
...thank you so much.
I don't want to bother you
any longer.
?'5 HO bother.
Go ahead and ask me more,
please.
You're not going
to ask me anything else?
I'd love to ask
about your life, but...
Tell me, is that souffle
just for you?
It smells wonderful.
- Do you know what I'd mm
- Well, no...
You've been so nice to me,...
...So kind.
I'd like you to take me
to the theater.
Will you do that?
After we've eaten the souffle,
of course.
I'd take you to the end
of the word if need be.
And I wouldn't say it
if it weren't true.
Come With me.
What Will you think Of me?
I've showed you my bedroom.
The patch bit was great.
I liked that.
So did she.
You're a moron.
Poor' woman.
No harm in it, kid.
Speak for yourself,...
...fucking immigrant.
Her skin is lovely,...
...her heart pure gold.
Well! YOU gonna do it?
"'5 madness.
It worked fine
with your neighbor.
Better than we expected.
Yeah, a lonely woman
Who's half blind!
All of us are lonely.
Norma too.
It won't work.
You'll make do with hearing
her voice over the phone?
My sickness knows no cure.
Cheer up, man.
She's waiting for someone
like me.
Look at me.
Wake up, fucker.
I never dream that I wake up.
Christ!
You're stubborn.
Get out of your dream
and get inside mine.
If that one-eyed thief's
a friend of yours,
now's your chance to slit
his throat with a razor.
That'll make you feel better.
You'd feel even better if you
catch them at it and kill them both.
YOU don't get it at all.
I want my friend
to have his way with my wife.
YOU hear me?
My friend and I
are like the same person.
Flesh and blood.
You know what then?
You're a little fucker.
I'd like to hear sometime how you
managed to fuck yourself in the ass.
LOPS see it.
Where are you going,
you lucky gorilla?
I'm meeting my cousin Olga.
First to the carnival, and later
wacky-wacky. She promised.
Your cousing Olga isn't coming.
15 minutes ago she had her legs
wrapped around some guy at Amaya.
Consider yourself lucky.
She'd have given you syphillis.
Who's this guy'?
Mares.
What's his costume?
The invisible man.
He doesn't want to be seen.
Says he's changing his face.
Man...
Hopefully it'll look( better
than the last one.
Good luck.
Party!
Get in line!
My shoe.
Who'd want a limping whore?
How long are we going
to wait here?
Better here than
in the temple of be! canto
They won't come.
- Ita's having a bad time.
- I feel sorry for her.
She didn't have much luck.
All my girlfriends
married the wrong man,...
...Paulina, Isabel, Ita...
So um you.
Norma, how um
that slummy kid...
...ever get in the bed
of a rich heiress?
- Who do you mean?
- Your husband.
That was way back.
- A gin.
- By the way,...
...I heard he goes around
begging.
- He plays the ?ute.
- What's your bag, pal?
- I got a throat operation.
- Sorry to hear that.
Yeah, I have trouble
with the hard "I".
Speak Catalonian,
they're all soft.
"Seven just judge
were in judgment.
over the juicy juices
of a judgeship. "
The lady here
can teach you how to speak.
Or how to cut off your tongue
and replace it by another.
Having two
is more practical.
One is enough
if you use it well.
I heard he held the ?ute
with his feet...
...while scratching
a bottle with a spoon.
Who?
Who do you think?
Juan Mares.
Here they go again.
Stop if, Eudald.
He was a ventriloquist,
and a good one too.
What was that funny story
you told us, Norma?
I I(know if.
Norma was talking about
her parents' patriotism.
Suddenly, Juan came up
and kissed her on the mouth.
A passionate kiss
that went on forever.
And while he kissed her,
he spoke through his hose.
Without ever taking
his lips off Norma's,...
...he recited Maragall's
"Spiritual Song".
Saliva and poetic dribble,
Norma's ideal cocktail
Don't be a moron.
Who asked you to fix it?
Wimp.
Christ!
You'll never cry again, Mares.
Come in, it's open!
Hi there!
- Don't kiss me, I'm sick.
- YOU got it bad, huh?
It's tragic. I'll have to quit
smoking. Want some tea?
- Yes.
- Grab the tray.
You were expecting me.
Hey, you know how to say
"ticklish" in Catalonian?
No.
How about "I love you"?
Very good.
Say it again.
You say it so well.
Not at all.
I've been here 5 years
and I still can't
speak a word.
Hello, goodbye,
practically nothing.
Three little words
are enough for me.
You have to read this book.
It's great.
You learn Catalonian,
and it teaches you about life.
Everything has
a psychological explanation.
I read it two months ago
and it was like alight
suddenly turned on in my head.
I was fluent.
Just like that.
Go on, say something.
My king...
I can see in your eyes you want
to go to bed with Griselda.
Mind if I pass you my cold?
No.
Here it comes.
Why do you stick with the bandages
if you're making half the money?
- Your clients think it's 3 trick.
- ll is.
My face is silver
under the bandages.
Yeah, silver my ass.
Can you play a waltz?
It's my birthday.
This one's for you.
This music brings back
bitter memories.
Every New Year's Eve
at midnight,...
...Norma and I used
to dance this waltz...
...holding a candle.
It's a beautiful day,
don't fuck it!
Here we go again.
What's wrong now, Mares?
I love her!
Hello?
Mrs. Mares, please.
Whom did you say?
I want to speak
to Mrs. Norma Valenti.
- Who's calling, please?
- She doesn't know me.
Tell her I have a message
from her husband.
One moment, please.
Ma'am, it's for you.
Mrs. Norma Valenti?
My name is Juan Faneca,
I'm a friend of your husband.
I'm calling...
...to ask
for an appointment.
- Why?
- ?'5 3 delicate matter.
I can't tell you
over the phone.
- It's about Juan Mares.
- Is there something wrong?
He's gone mad, Ma'am.
We can't find him anywhere.
So what? He'll turn up.
I hope so, anyway.
I can't believe
you don't care.
Anything could have happened
to him.
Call back in a couple of days,
he'll show up.
There's something else,
it's very important.
Joan left a notebook
for you,...
it's full Of writing
about his life.
Next to your name, he wrote...
..."most urgent".
Don't overdo it.
I'm busy until six.
I'll expect you at seven.
Yes, Ma'am, thank you.
At seven o'clock sharp.
This is my life's last page.
YOU'LL never know
what became Of me.
From this moment on,
I'm no longer Mares.
I now form part
of eternity...
...to honor one sole
goddess,...
...a unique and enormous,
oceanic,...
...universal...
...feeling.
You're my whole life,...
...Norma.
Testing.
Testing, testing,...
...one, two, three.
Testing the smooth
and manly voice...
...which will conquer
my Norma.
COMB ill.
Madam will be right with you.
How do you do, Ma'am?
I wish to thank you
for your trust and tell you...
...that you're much prettier
than I was told.
Very kind of you.
I have very little time.
Please, sit down.
I'm afraid
you've come for nothing.
It's been years
since I've seen Joan.
What did you say
your name was? Fanega?
No, Faneca.
Juan Faneca.
A drink?
I would't mind a little gin.
You have the same tastes
as Juan Mares.
I do, Ma'am. It's normal.
We grew up together
on Verdi Street.
Tell me about my ex-husband,
Mr. Faneca.
That's why you came.
What's wrong?
He's let himself go.
LUCK turned her back( OI] him.
He thinks a lot about you.
All day long.
He's bitten real bad.
He's got love madness.
You're lost, Mares.
There's no worse madness
than love madness.
If he needs money,
do tell me his account number.
He still lives On Walden St.?
Yes,
but the apartment is yours.
Tell him not to worry,
I won't kick him out.
He's alone like a dog.
I get heart-broken
seeing him like that.
He never stops thinking
of you.
All he wants is a little rest
from his sorrows,...
...a little relief
for In broken heart.
There must be 3 woman...
There's only been one woman,
you.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Alright.
- Is it true he's disappeared?
- That's right.
He left this for you.
Does he expect me to enjoy
reading his fantasies?
Have you called the police?
No, we haven't.
We wanted to know
what you thought.
- It's one of Juan's tricks.
- Forgive me,...
...but I came because
I'm 3 friend Of Juan.
We grew up together
on Verdi Street.
I already told you that.
Of course,
you may not like it.
Happy memories
are always frightening.
Joan's not even a memory.
- He's nothing.
- Don't say that!
- Haven't you got a heart?
- It's the truth.
Have you read it?
- I would never dare.
- I don't care.
If you've read it, too bad.
Lionela!
Leave me your phone number,
Mr. Faneca.
I may change my mind
after reading this notebook.
I'd love w,...
...but I haven't been
in Barcelona for long.
I'll call you to tell you.
May I invite you for a drink
some time?
Today, as I was
on San Jaume Square,...
...I saw Norma go by.
The bitch was wearing
tight pants which,...
...incredibly enough,
underlined even more...
...those glorious buttocks
of hers.
I followed her real close...
...while whispering
atrocious obscenities.
But she smiled.
The bitch just smiled
I hope she'll read this
some day.
She'll know that the phantom
With the burnt face...
...that beggar who managed
to excite her,...
...was me,...
...Juan Mares,
her ex-husband,...
...her eternal lover.
Who is it?
What is it?
- Have you got rooms?
- Yes, sir.
Full board'?
No, just to sleep.
1,500 pesetas a night.
- Will you be staying long?
- It depends.
Al least 3 week.
What's your phone number?
317
- 2605.
- Thank you.
Would you mind filling in
the form?
My name's Juan Faneca.
I used to live here as a kid,
where the garage is.
You weren't even been born yet.
Here's the key. Number six.
Grandma!
A Quest!
Go ahead. My grandmother
will show you the room.
Thank you.
Number six.
Thank you.
You'll have to put up with
the noise.
The party only lasts
a couple of hours.
You don't remember me, Ma'am?
Of course not.
It's been a long time.
I'm Juan Faneca.
"Fanequilla."
Really? Juan Faneca?
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
You still owe me that money I lent
you before you left for Germany.
If you're rich now,
I'll take it with interest.
Some platinum anniversary
celebration or something.
They should cut it out already.
They got sent away
from the tavern.
COINS OI].
LOOK.
YOU want to see it?
Go on, it's only been 4 days.
Pathetic, isn't it?
They'll be at it all night
I warned the doctor.
He's older than they are.
What happened to your eye?
A car accident.
That's all we needed.
A guy with one eye.
Mares is such a pig.
"My dear Mares,...
...I trust I'll hear
from your wife soon."
"I've given Norma
your memories,...
just as you asked me to."
"I am sure
she Will like them."
"A hug,
hope you burst soon."
"Faneca
- Hello?
- Miss...
Could you take down
my phone number,...
...I'm Juan Faneca.
Have you got a pen?
Madam has left
a message for you.
She expects you today
at five.
Very well,...
...at five.
YOU read it, right?
No, Ma'am, I didn't.
It doesn't matter.
He may haven been obsessed
by my ass,...
...but his love for me
was real, I know it.
As real as the sun that shines
on our wretchedness.
On losing you,
he lost his reason.
I'll end up thinking
I was married to a stranger.
The Juan Mares you knew
didn't exist.
He was a hoax,...
...? character invented
by a kid from Verdi SI.
He was a poor devil.
He was?
You speak as if he were dead.
To me,
it's as if he were dead.
It's a pity that kid
went down the drain.
Such a handsome Catalonian,
so well read, so clever!
He was neither well read
or clever.
Now he's just a rag,...
...a nothing.
There's something strange.
You came here
to defend Juan,...
...yet I feel
that you hate him.
He's my brother,...
...but I'm damned
if I'll see him kill himself.
Forgive me,
I can't feel sorry for him.
If he ever needs money,
let me know.
I'll always give him a hand.
Meanwhile, I'd prefer
to change the subject.
I still think Juan is Up
to something,...
...that he's planned it.
Typical of him.
Would you like 3 drink?
A gin, as usual?
Whatever you say.
A drink would be welcome.
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do?
How old are you, Faneca?
How old would you say?
You're younger than Joan.
- I'd say forty.
- Let's leave it at that.
Place Of birth?
YOU won't believe it.
- I was born here, like Juan.
- You were,...
...but they took you back
to the village.
No, Ma'am.
From Verdi SI. I went
to Germany, and back again.
Really?
What about your accent?
My parents were Andalusian.
That's the way we speak.
How long have you lived
in Catalonia?
Discounting the time
I spent in Germany,...
...30 years.
- You don't speak Catalonian?
- No, Ma'am.
I just can't
- What about German?
- Kind Of.
Over there,
they don't understand Spanish.
I bet it's the same
with Catalonian.
You probably speak it
"kind of".
That's true.
Give it a try
Don't wait.
Now?
Say something.
The first thing
you can think of
I feel embarrassed.
There's no shame
in having an accent,...
...don't worry.
It's not because
of the accent, Ma'am.
COINS OI].
Give me a blow job
Most eloquent.
Another drink?
Please.
You're remarkably brazen.
- I didn't mean anything bad.
- You don't say?
Have I offended you?
Don't ask idiotic questions.
You are a wonderful woman.
I wonder what Joan's told you
about me?
He told me you're used
to handle men.
That could be taken
as an insult.
But let's forget it.
I've enjoyed myself,
I'-.-'Ir. Faneca.
Thank you.
I believe I'd like
IO see the street...
...where you and my husband
grew up.
I may come and visit you
some time.
Very well.
When Will that be?
I don't know.
Please go now.
Close your eyes.
You mean "your eye", Grise.
Alright, your eye.
Ready.
Keep it closed!
Put your hands on my ass.
Lift me
Lift me
Open your eye.
Grise!
I'm a new woman, Juan!
Look at my eyes.
They're blue, just like yours.
I've got a new hairdo.
But most important of all,
I work at the Corte Ingles!
That's great!
In Catalonian, please.
I must speak Catalonian.
You too.
New contact lenses,
a new hairdo,...
...a new job
and a new tongue,...
the new Griselda!
We've got to celebrate.
Doing what?
The usual, of course.
And all the nice things
you tell me,...
...say them in Catalonian.
I want to have a good fuck
in Catalonian.
Come on.
It's all yours.
Just for you.
Whisper sweet nothings
in Catalonian.
You're finger licking good.
Tell me you love me.
I love you more
than the air I breath, Grise.
Stick if ill deeper inside.
Like if?
More than pancakes
with maple syrup.
Don't move, Grise,...
...of I'll come.
In Catalonian, please.
- Where are you, Mr. Faneca?
- Over here, child.
By the window.
- What are you doing?
- I'm thinking.
"It's so nice here."
"Should we go out?"
"Should we stay?"
We've got to eat
- What are you thinking about?
- Silly things.
About this street years ago,
when I was a kid.
No, you're not.
Blind people
have a sixth sense.
I have half a sixth sense,
I lost one eye.
You may not believe it,
but I can guess things.
Give me an example.
Alright.
You're not happy.
Are you, child?
I'm blind,...
...but I'd be happy
with just one eye.
One eye...
...to see the world
in color,...
...lo see this film.
It's black and white.
Happiness doesn't last
very long.
We're not satisfied
to see the world in color.
It's never enough.
Hello?
Palace Hotel?
Speak my language?
T.R. Decky.
Any messages for me?
It's not her, Mr. Faneca.
But some day it Will be,
won't it?
Some day.
When that day comes,
promise me to be happy.
If you promise,
I'll tell you what I see.
That day, I'll feel
as if I had both my eyes.
In that case, you should know
that the woman...
...who's broken your life
to bits...
...is about to come.
I wish you were right, child.
Mr. Faneca,
a lady's asked for you.
She's waiting for you
at the bar.
See?
How did you know?
She called three times
while you were gone.
Remember your promise.
I had some pretty red balls.
Where are they?
Shit!
Goddamn if!
There he is.
Faneca, Eudald Verdu.
Sir.
This drink is shit.
I came to return
my ex-husband's confessions.
They're yours.
I prefer someone else
to burn them.
I had fun reading them.
But they prove
that Joan's idea...
...of sexual relationships
was the same...
...than a porter's.
That's what he was.
Shut up.
Well, Ma'am,
I also used to be a porter.
I'll qualify that.
Janitor in a Ministry.
Were you ever a janitor
in a Ministry?
No, I wasn't.
Listen, "Ma'am",
as you call her,...
...told me: "Come along."
"I'll introduce you
to a guy from Andalusia...
...who speaks
like Vito Corleone."
Fuck Off, shithead.
We'll both fuck Off.
I can't take your immigrant.
Let's go.
No one orders me around.
You're a two-bit whore.
And you he chicken shit,
a windbag with an ass
full Of dry shit...
...and a tiny prick.
- You understand her?
- I get the general meaning.
Know something?
Get yourself a belly.
Get him 3 drink.
Thank you.
Isn't he sweet?
To get a belly.
I wish I could.
- I'm terribly sorry.
- Well, I'm not.
I've put up with that ass
for three months.
We've eaten together,...
...we've had drinks
and we've fought.
I was up to here.
Forget n,
it doesn't matter one bit.
It's forgotten.
You said you'd invite me
for a drink.
A promise is a promise.
Your husband's probably
around.
He could just walk in here.
Are you sure?
Pretty sure.
Even so,
although I doubt it,...
...we won't let that ruin
the evening.
That mustache does look good
on you, slicker.
He's having a bad time.
Isn't that too bad?
But it's not our fault,
is it?
You're right about that.
BU! he'll think...
...we're cuckolding him
under his nose.
What about you?
I'm here to do
as the lady pleases.
Anything nice in your room?
A bottle Of sherry.
Let's go then.
So, that's your district.
I like it.
Shoe,
little shoe,
...where's the stone?
COINS OI].
Stick if all the way ill,
bastard!
Fuck me!
Slide it in right to the top!
Tear my cunt apart!
More!. More!.
Fire your cannon!
Wait, don't move.
Piss inside me.
What?
PISS inside, damn if.
Wet my cunt, drown it.
I can't.
HOW nice.
What's this?
YOU should know.
I shaved it and didn't like
the way I looked.
You screw like Joan.
Did the same whore
teach you?
I don't get complaints
about my performance.
I suppose not.
Are you glad to have cuckolded
your friend?
No, Ma'am.
But I'm sure glad
to have known,...
...really known,...
...the woman Juan Mares
used to screw.
I got the sensation
I screwed with a corpse.
Again.
That's him.
YOU still there?
What do you want, fucker?
Cocksucker!
Go get lost, cuckold!
It's over now.
Dickhead.
Fucking immigrant!
Mares!
Wait!
Fuck Off!
- Don't you remember?
- Go suck your mother!
Where do you want to go?
I'll take you.
I don't know about you,
but I'm going to get laid.
- No, wait.
- Lay off.
Wait.
- We'll go see my Griselda.
- Who's the hell that?
She's got a great ass, man.
- And her heart's pure gold.
for my childhood incursions.
Barcelona in the 50'S.
A popular district
in the city.
By then, my mother
was already 50 years old.
Her aspect
was so deplorable...
...that people called her
"Madame Wino".
Long ago,
she'd been Rita Beni...
...and had enjoyed some
prestige as a chorus girl.
This China man is my Dad.
His real name
is Rafael Mares,...
...but even he seems
to have forgotten it...
...and everyone calls him
Fu Ching The Magician.
As a child,
I dreamed of going away,...
...of leaving the district
and shabbiness.
I managed it with Norma.
THE BILINGUAL LOVER
Five years of marriage
were more than enough...
...to discover Norma's
true personality.
One November evening
of bitter memory,...
...I returned home
unexpectedly...
In one moment,
the most cruel
and ironic evidence,...
...reflected mirror-like
my sad image,...
...that of a man overcome
by jealousy,...
...aware that he has lost
all,...
...even In own self esteem.
Shit.
What are you doing?
I was just...
This is demeaning!
?'5 too much!
What now?
Say something, man!
Speak up!
Yeah, well, it's just...
I saw those incredible
shoes you got here.
And I thought I'd while
the time away.
I shine shoes for a living,
you see.
L see
I (10 see.
Well...
- I'm off now.
- No, you're not.
You're not going anywhere
until I say so.
It ain't that bad, man.
Let him go, Joan.
It's your fault for coming
home earlier than usual.
I'm fine.
I'm calm.
Stop shining that shoe!
That's my thing,
shining shoes.
I came back( home
when I should.
I stopped at three bars
and had three coffees.
I walked up and down
the Ramblas three times.
And this happens
to be my house!
Although I paid for n.
I'll be leaving now.
- You're staying.
- Yeah, but...
- You're staying!
- What for?
What for?
Don't you shine shoes?
Well, go ahead!
Yes, sir.
That's right, shine them!
Good and hard!
Whatever you say.
And when you're done...
I'm sick of him.
Damn ninny.
Fucking asshole, moron.
Come on, shine away!
You keep on talking,
you'll get your ass kicked.
IS this the first time?
Answer me, is it?
Yes, sir.
- No need to "6 to me.
- But it is, I swear it.
But you knew the lady'?
- I didn't.
I shined her shoes once
two months ago.
Pure chance.
Keep the apartment.
It's another gift
from the Valenti family.
See you!
You got good shoes.
Norma bought them.
She's got taste.
You'll probably wonder
how she could fall for me.
Believe me,
I'll never forget that day,...
...the day l saw Norma
for the first time.
One afternoon,
in the Fall Of 1970,...
...I came out Of the movies...
...and dropped by
the Friends of Unesco's...
...where there was
an exhibition.
As I was about to leave...
Can someone open the door?
- You want to go?
- I certainly do.
Sorry, but you can't leave
until tomorrow morning.
And by then,
the cops might be here.
It was a protest
against the Burgs trial,...
...there had been
nine death sentences.
Water?
Norma simply fascinated me
and I decided to join...
...the hunger strike.
We spent tour unforgettable
days together.
A big house?
I've got one.
With a big room'?
- I've got rt.
And a huge bed?
I've got it.
Us immigrants
always liked big sizes.
Alright.
1018358
I know you guys
are still asleep,...
...but all hell
may break lose...
...and we can't be caught
unaware.
She told us what we should do
if the cops came in.
We were not to answer
provocations no matter what.
They'll call us names,
the worst we've heard.
They may even beat us.
I didn't pay much attention.
My finger was exploring
Norma's cracks.
When the cops forced
the door...
Goddamn fucking sons
of Passionate!
Everybody stand up!
Attention!
Well?
YOU scared?
YOU won't want to eat
when I'm done!
Goddamn hunger strike!
What is it?
I saw red and hit him
with my closed fist.
Such a deed only got me
two weeks in jail...
...thanks to the influence
of Norma's family.
I got out...
...and she was there.
- Where are we going?
- Home.
It's no easy feat
for a humble man like me,...
...a ventriloquist who liked
playing the accordion,...
...to walk into the Valenti's
luxurious villa...
...led by their only child
and heiress.
Norma is our only child,
sir.
We're proud of her.
- Tell me, are you Catholic?
- Only one thing matters.
Is he a good boy?
He certainly looks like one.
Are you a good boy?
It turned out to be
very easy.
Norma's parents both adored
and feared their daughter.
They asked very little
Of me...
...and my social position.
Do you remember our wedding,
Jordi?
I do, I do.
One;-"
...two,...
..."three.
One more
I was in no shape
to explain the events...
...which were changing
the course of my life...
...in such an unexpected
and agreeable way.
Who are you?
Why choose me?
So you could screw me good
and hard.
"lam
Sadly enough, today,
I can see my misfortune.
I've never been more
than a toy,...
...a passing whim.
Before you,
as far as I know,...
...there's been a waiter,
a taxi driver...
...and a black macrame
salesman.
None of them spoke Catalonian,
of course.
And now bootblack
she found in a bar.
Good Lord.
Well, I've finished my work.
L gotta go-
I should give you something
for your trouble.
Don't be an ass
All I can do is shoot myself.
Don't say that.
Shoot yourself, hell!
The best you can do
is go after your wife.
Deep down, she loves you.
I know it.
I'm off. Take care, man.
Get a move on.
The fascists are coming!
Come on,
let's get out of here!
Hurry up! The fascists!
come OI]!
Long live Spain!
Catalonia is Spanish!
Shoot the motherfuckers!
Spain is one nation!
Catalonia is Spanish!
Spain is one!
No separatism!
Spain is free!
FUCK the Catalonian
national anthem!
A FEW YEARS LATER
Mr. Mares.
EXCUSE me.
There's a package for you.
There's only one lift
working.
Wait! Wait!
Thank you very much.
There's a full moon.
Musician,
victim Of dreadful fire...
...has turned
into the Phantom of the Opera...
...and needs help.
That's all, everyone.
You should all go home lo watch
the Barcelona match, and I will loo.
Yeah, "chicken" is correct,
but "poultry" would be better.
Watch out for that fucking
subsecrelary. She's clueless.
You have a call.
It's more Catalonian,
more appropriate.
All right.
Linguistic Consultants.
Hello?
- I have a question.
- Go ahead.
I was told to ask for
Mrs. Norma Valenti.
The "socializing."
- Socio-linguist.
- Right.
That '5 me. GO ahead.
Well, I have a shop
with lingerie and undergarments
with signs in Spanish
for each section,
and I want IO put it all
in Catalonian, just in case
You know how pissed off
those crazy terrorists can get.
No need for insults,
you got that?
- God forbid!
- Please, go on. What do you need?
Just a little question.
- Nothing at all.
- Call "Serluz."
They offer a 10% discount
for any business
that orders signs in Catalonian.
They work for us.
I can't afford that,
my business is small.
How about I write them myself
by hand?
I just need you to tell me how
to write the words in Catalonian
for certain garments.
Okay, go ahead.
Well, I have 3 list right here.
It's a bit long, but...
Say it in Spanish
and I'll translate for you.
But quickly.
Jacket.
Vest.
Fucking weird!
- What do you want from me?
- on, right. Sorry about that.
You're very kind.
- I'm wasting your time.
- Continue.
Underwear
- Can you spell that?
- Sure, lady.
Bra and brassiere.
Garter belt.
Panties.
Robe.
Hey, that sounds offensive.
That's the word in Catalonian,
mister. Are you finished?
No, wait.
Wait.
Exhaust-pipe!
Wasn't it a lingerie shop?
Mine is, Mrs. Norma.
This one's for a friend
in the car business.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, Eudald.
How do you say "exhaust-pipe"?
Damn, that's a fucking tough one.
How about...
escape tube. "
How should I know?
No, no.
Here if is.
"Exhaust-pipe."
Look, that was a hard one for us.
It might be "exhaust-pipe"
but I'm not sure.
Try calling "Serluz."
"Exhaust-pipe."
That sounds wonderful.
With a hyphen
- Right, lady.
Right, this ignorant Spaniard
is eternally grateful
for your assistance.
Catalonia is such a rich,
wonderful land!
Don't mention it
- Have fun.
- Thank you!
Goodbye.
Pau Casals' natural son
is looking for an opportunity
Son of a bitch!
Silly bitch, twat, open game.
I wanna see your ass
hanging over the prow.
I bet your cunt juices
make a hole in the mattress.
Your knockers
are like two snorkers...
when I get my pecker
in to your hot tanker.
Congratulations,
you speak Catalonian.
I'd slide it in Norma
and fill her soul.
I could do
with a little tenderness...
...before giving in
to my nightmares.
Juan.
Juan Mares.
"Angels call it
divine enjoyment."
"Devils call it hellish pain."
"Men call it love."
"Love is a tempestuous trade...
...that always ends up
in bankruptcy."
"In love,...
...the one who has
the winning card...
...is always the one
who loves less."
Juan.
Juan Mares.
Wake up, kiddo.
Good evening to you.
You again?
What is it?
Norma Valenti
is waiting for us.
Like hell she is.
When was the last time
you screwed, Mares?
Going wacko would do you good.
Don't bother.
It won't work.
Sure it Will.
Trust me, asshole.
Put yourself in my hands.
I'll talk to her.
She'll go back lo you,
believe you me.
She won't even see me.
I'll go in your place.
Don't you get it?
Who are you?
You mean
you don't remember me?
I always forget my dreams.
I'm that kid
called Juan Faneca...
...who used to be your pal...
...and who went to Germany
to make money.
Well?
Remember me now, asshole?
NOW I do.
We both know...
...that Norma has a weakness
for immigrants.
Remember what happened
with the bootblack?
And what about that waiter
from Nijar,...
...a village
from the magic South?
I can guess your plan.
It won't work.
Trust me, Catalonian.
I won't!
Get lost!
Musician madly in love
needs help to feed his passion.
Madly in love again,
after all this time.
Your life and mine, Norma.
Remind me just one more time.
My heart suffers ceaselessly.
At your age and with that face?
Falling in love is madness.
?'5 indecent.
Falling in love again
with your own wife!
- The same woman.
- Shut up!
Madness is my only release.
You just won't accept
you got a small dick.
"Woman,...
...if you ever speak...
...to our Lord,...
...asked Him if I ever...
...stopped loving you."
"Ask the sea,...
...sole witness
to my heart,...
...how often
it has seen me cry..."
How about a drunk?
I got some yummy-yummy
omelet too.
And some finger licking good
chicken.
The monks' own.
15 % alcoholic content
More..
Again.
Mares,...
...is it true your wife
likes Gypsies?
- Who told you that?
- He did.
Does she?
She hasn't been my wife
for ages.
But I heard she fell
for a so alled Faneca.
Who's that?
Someone Who's me
and Who's someone else.
Someone who fucks up
his dreams.
For Heaven's sake,
look where you're going!
My contact lens!
My contact lens!
Help me, do something!
Good bye!
Juan Mares.
It's high time
you really went insane.
Being on the verge of madness
isn't enough.
I'll never be anything
but a lost dog.
I can never be you.
How about taking a bath,
Mares?
I'm the Phantom of the Opera.
Seeing me is enough
to scare that girl.
I frighten people.
Nobody's going to change that.
Come on, man.
At least try
If you really love her...
I love her.
My neighbor's eyes
aren't blue.
Neither are yours, pal.
Hi, cuckold.
Remember how your Dad
used to turn into Fu Ching?
Where's that miraculous box?
Use your head, man.
Your life depends on it.
You look good enough to eat.
How about playing a joke
on our neighbor?
She's got one blue eye,
like me.
Ain't we a bit tanked
to make up to that bimbo?
What we need here
is to use some cool...
...and show that noo broad
can resist us.
Ecstasy Lane
Hello there.
Ma'am, would you be so kind...
...as to answer
a few questions...
...for a public opinion poll?
Me answer a poll?
Your name was chosen
among thousands.
- Who is it for?
- The Catalonian government.
It Will be shown On T.V.
- Please come in.
- Thank you.
Come ill.
Sit down.
Please, sit down.
First Of all tell me
your name, please.
Griselda Ramos Gil.
Will it be shown On T.V.?
- That's right, Ma'am.
- DO Sit down.
Thank you.
Age?
MUS! I tell you?
layout don't mind.
You can knock
a few years off.
Well, I like you,...
...So I'll tell you:
I'm 37 years old.
- YOU don't look it.
- Thank you.
Profession?
I sell tickets
at a movie theater,...
...but I'm studying Catalonian
to work in the Corte Ingles.
Place Of birth?
Seville.
Marital status?
I'm a widow.
And free to do as you please.
?Ism
Don't be indiscreet.
The souffle.
What um your husband
die of, Ma'am?
This has nothing to do
with the poll.
I'm just curious.
- A bull gored him.
- A bullfighter?
Plain banderillero.
What bad luck.
I can't complain.
He left rather quietly.
Excuse me, Ma'am,...
...I don't know if I dare...
Go ahead,...
dare
You don't deserve
such bad luck.
With a Skin like yours,
as smooth as the Virgin's,...
...with a voice...
...so sweet and tender,...
...you shouldn't be alone
in this world, believe me.
Thank you.
And your eyes.
Your eyes are lovely.
M ay I see them?
How do you see me now, Ma'am?
AS in 3 dream.
Shortsighted people see fine
from up close.
Your eye is nice too.
What happened?
The bullring.
H can't be. YOU too?
A 500 kilo beast called Nero,
goddamn it.
Don't.
Every cloud
has a silver lining.
The patch looks good on you.
It gives you a mysterious air.
I'm glad you think so.
Alright.
Let's carry on.
The poll's question
is as follows:
Would you sign a petition
asking...
...the Parliament
Of Catalonia...
...for the tenor
Josep Carreras...
...to be no longer considered
a Spanish glory...
...but rather
a universal Catalonian?
Think about it carefully
before answering.
You see,
I'm Andalusian,...
...but there's nothing
to think about.
My answer is yes.
What's more,...
...Carreras and Caballe...
...should sing all operas
in Catalonian.
Don't you agree?
I don't know, Ma'am.
I'm only doing my lob.
Anyway,
...thank you so much.
I don't want to bother you
any longer.
?'5 HO bother.
Go ahead and ask me more,
please.
You're not going
to ask me anything else?
I'd love to ask
about your life, but...
Tell me, is that souffle
just for you?
It smells wonderful.
- Do you know what I'd mm
- Well, no...
You've been so nice to me,...
...So kind.
I'd like you to take me
to the theater.
Will you do that?
After we've eaten the souffle,
of course.
I'd take you to the end
of the word if need be.
And I wouldn't say it
if it weren't true.
Come With me.
What Will you think Of me?
I've showed you my bedroom.
The patch bit was great.
I liked that.
So did she.
You're a moron.
Poor' woman.
No harm in it, kid.
Speak for yourself,...
...fucking immigrant.
Her skin is lovely,...
...her heart pure gold.
Well! YOU gonna do it?
"'5 madness.
It worked fine
with your neighbor.
Better than we expected.
Yeah, a lonely woman
Who's half blind!
All of us are lonely.
Norma too.
It won't work.
You'll make do with hearing
her voice over the phone?
My sickness knows no cure.
Cheer up, man.
She's waiting for someone
like me.
Look at me.
Wake up, fucker.
I never dream that I wake up.
Christ!
You're stubborn.
Get out of your dream
and get inside mine.
If that one-eyed thief's
a friend of yours,
now's your chance to slit
his throat with a razor.
That'll make you feel better.
You'd feel even better if you
catch them at it and kill them both.
YOU don't get it at all.
I want my friend
to have his way with my wife.
YOU hear me?
My friend and I
are like the same person.
Flesh and blood.
You know what then?
You're a little fucker.
I'd like to hear sometime how you
managed to fuck yourself in the ass.
LOPS see it.
Where are you going,
you lucky gorilla?
I'm meeting my cousin Olga.
First to the carnival, and later
wacky-wacky. She promised.
Your cousing Olga isn't coming.
15 minutes ago she had her legs
wrapped around some guy at Amaya.
Consider yourself lucky.
She'd have given you syphillis.
Who's this guy'?
Mares.
What's his costume?
The invisible man.
He doesn't want to be seen.
Says he's changing his face.
Man...
Hopefully it'll look( better
than the last one.
Good luck.
Party!
Get in line!
My shoe.
Who'd want a limping whore?
How long are we going
to wait here?
Better here than
in the temple of be! canto
They won't come.
- Ita's having a bad time.
- I feel sorry for her.
She didn't have much luck.
All my girlfriends
married the wrong man,...
...Paulina, Isabel, Ita...
So um you.
Norma, how um
that slummy kid...
...ever get in the bed
of a rich heiress?
- Who do you mean?
- Your husband.
That was way back.
- A gin.
- By the way,...
...I heard he goes around
begging.
- He plays the ?ute.
- What's your bag, pal?
- I got a throat operation.
- Sorry to hear that.
Yeah, I have trouble
with the hard "I".
Speak Catalonian,
they're all soft.
"Seven just judge
were in judgment.
over the juicy juices
of a judgeship. "
The lady here
can teach you how to speak.
Or how to cut off your tongue
and replace it by another.
Having two
is more practical.
One is enough
if you use it well.
I heard he held the ?ute
with his feet...
...while scratching
a bottle with a spoon.
Who?
Who do you think?
Juan Mares.
Here they go again.
Stop if, Eudald.
He was a ventriloquist,
and a good one too.
What was that funny story
you told us, Norma?
I I(know if.
Norma was talking about
her parents' patriotism.
Suddenly, Juan came up
and kissed her on the mouth.
A passionate kiss
that went on forever.
And while he kissed her,
he spoke through his hose.
Without ever taking
his lips off Norma's,...
...he recited Maragall's
"Spiritual Song".
Saliva and poetic dribble,
Norma's ideal cocktail
Don't be a moron.
Who asked you to fix it?
Wimp.
Christ!
You'll never cry again, Mares.
Come in, it's open!
Hi there!
- Don't kiss me, I'm sick.
- YOU got it bad, huh?
It's tragic. I'll have to quit
smoking. Want some tea?
- Yes.
- Grab the tray.
You were expecting me.
Hey, you know how to say
"ticklish" in Catalonian?
No.
How about "I love you"?
Very good.
Say it again.
You say it so well.
Not at all.
I've been here 5 years
and I still can't
speak a word.
Hello, goodbye,
practically nothing.
Three little words
are enough for me.
You have to read this book.
It's great.
You learn Catalonian,
and it teaches you about life.
Everything has
a psychological explanation.
I read it two months ago
and it was like alight
suddenly turned on in my head.
I was fluent.
Just like that.
Go on, say something.
My king...
I can see in your eyes you want
to go to bed with Griselda.
Mind if I pass you my cold?
No.
Here it comes.
Why do you stick with the bandages
if you're making half the money?
- Your clients think it's 3 trick.
- ll is.
My face is silver
under the bandages.
Yeah, silver my ass.
Can you play a waltz?
It's my birthday.
This one's for you.
This music brings back
bitter memories.
Every New Year's Eve
at midnight,...
...Norma and I used
to dance this waltz...
...holding a candle.
It's a beautiful day,
don't fuck it!
Here we go again.
What's wrong now, Mares?
I love her!
Hello?
Mrs. Mares, please.
Whom did you say?
I want to speak
to Mrs. Norma Valenti.
- Who's calling, please?
- She doesn't know me.
Tell her I have a message
from her husband.
One moment, please.
Ma'am, it's for you.
Mrs. Norma Valenti?
My name is Juan Faneca,
I'm a friend of your husband.
I'm calling...
...to ask
for an appointment.
- Why?
- ?'5 3 delicate matter.
I can't tell you
over the phone.
- It's about Juan Mares.
- Is there something wrong?
He's gone mad, Ma'am.
We can't find him anywhere.
So what? He'll turn up.
I hope so, anyway.
I can't believe
you don't care.
Anything could have happened
to him.
Call back in a couple of days,
he'll show up.
There's something else,
it's very important.
Joan left a notebook
for you,...
it's full Of writing
about his life.
Next to your name, he wrote...
..."most urgent".
Don't overdo it.
I'm busy until six.
I'll expect you at seven.
Yes, Ma'am, thank you.
At seven o'clock sharp.
This is my life's last page.
YOU'LL never know
what became Of me.
From this moment on,
I'm no longer Mares.
I now form part
of eternity...
...to honor one sole
goddess,...
...a unique and enormous,
oceanic,...
...universal...
...feeling.
You're my whole life,...
...Norma.
Testing.
Testing, testing,...
...one, two, three.
Testing the smooth
and manly voice...
...which will conquer
my Norma.
COMB ill.
Madam will be right with you.
How do you do, Ma'am?
I wish to thank you
for your trust and tell you...
...that you're much prettier
than I was told.
Very kind of you.
I have very little time.
Please, sit down.
I'm afraid
you've come for nothing.
It's been years
since I've seen Joan.
What did you say
your name was? Fanega?
No, Faneca.
Juan Faneca.
A drink?
I would't mind a little gin.
You have the same tastes
as Juan Mares.
I do, Ma'am. It's normal.
We grew up together
on Verdi Street.
Tell me about my ex-husband,
Mr. Faneca.
That's why you came.
What's wrong?
He's let himself go.
LUCK turned her back( OI] him.
He thinks a lot about you.
All day long.
He's bitten real bad.
He's got love madness.
You're lost, Mares.
There's no worse madness
than love madness.
If he needs money,
do tell me his account number.
He still lives On Walden St.?
Yes,
but the apartment is yours.
Tell him not to worry,
I won't kick him out.
He's alone like a dog.
I get heart-broken
seeing him like that.
He never stops thinking
of you.
All he wants is a little rest
from his sorrows,...
...a little relief
for In broken heart.
There must be 3 woman...
There's only been one woman,
you.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Alright.
- Is it true he's disappeared?
- That's right.
He left this for you.
Does he expect me to enjoy
reading his fantasies?
Have you called the police?
No, we haven't.
We wanted to know
what you thought.
- It's one of Juan's tricks.
- Forgive me,...
...but I came because
I'm 3 friend Of Juan.
We grew up together
on Verdi Street.
I already told you that.
Of course,
you may not like it.
Happy memories
are always frightening.
Joan's not even a memory.
- He's nothing.
- Don't say that!
- Haven't you got a heart?
- It's the truth.
Have you read it?
- I would never dare.
- I don't care.
If you've read it, too bad.
Lionela!
Leave me your phone number,
Mr. Faneca.
I may change my mind
after reading this notebook.
I'd love w,...
...but I haven't been
in Barcelona for long.
I'll call you to tell you.
May I invite you for a drink
some time?
Today, as I was
on San Jaume Square,...
...I saw Norma go by.
The bitch was wearing
tight pants which,...
...incredibly enough,
underlined even more...
...those glorious buttocks
of hers.
I followed her real close...
...while whispering
atrocious obscenities.
But she smiled.
The bitch just smiled
I hope she'll read this
some day.
She'll know that the phantom
With the burnt face...
...that beggar who managed
to excite her,...
...was me,...
...Juan Mares,
her ex-husband,...
...her eternal lover.
Who is it?
What is it?
- Have you got rooms?
- Yes, sir.
Full board'?
No, just to sleep.
1,500 pesetas a night.
- Will you be staying long?
- It depends.
Al least 3 week.
What's your phone number?
317
- 2605.
- Thank you.
Would you mind filling in
the form?
My name's Juan Faneca.
I used to live here as a kid,
where the garage is.
You weren't even been born yet.
Here's the key. Number six.
Grandma!
A Quest!
Go ahead. My grandmother
will show you the room.
Thank you.
Number six.
Thank you.
You'll have to put up with
the noise.
The party only lasts
a couple of hours.
You don't remember me, Ma'am?
Of course not.
It's been a long time.
I'm Juan Faneca.
"Fanequilla."
Really? Juan Faneca?
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
You still owe me that money I lent
you before you left for Germany.
If you're rich now,
I'll take it with interest.
Some platinum anniversary
celebration or something.
They should cut it out already.
They got sent away
from the tavern.
COINS OI].
LOOK.
YOU want to see it?
Go on, it's only been 4 days.
Pathetic, isn't it?
They'll be at it all night
I warned the doctor.
He's older than they are.
What happened to your eye?
A car accident.
That's all we needed.
A guy with one eye.
Mares is such a pig.
"My dear Mares,...
...I trust I'll hear
from your wife soon."
"I've given Norma
your memories,...
just as you asked me to."
"I am sure
she Will like them."
"A hug,
hope you burst soon."
"Faneca
- Hello?
- Miss...
Could you take down
my phone number,...
...I'm Juan Faneca.
Have you got a pen?
Madam has left
a message for you.
She expects you today
at five.
Very well,...
...at five.
YOU read it, right?
No, Ma'am, I didn't.
It doesn't matter.
He may haven been obsessed
by my ass,...
...but his love for me
was real, I know it.
As real as the sun that shines
on our wretchedness.
On losing you,
he lost his reason.
I'll end up thinking
I was married to a stranger.
The Juan Mares you knew
didn't exist.
He was a hoax,...
...? character invented
by a kid from Verdi SI.
He was a poor devil.
He was?
You speak as if he were dead.
To me,
it's as if he were dead.
It's a pity that kid
went down the drain.
Such a handsome Catalonian,
so well read, so clever!
He was neither well read
or clever.
Now he's just a rag,...
...a nothing.
There's something strange.
You came here
to defend Juan,...
...yet I feel
that you hate him.
He's my brother,...
...but I'm damned
if I'll see him kill himself.
Forgive me,
I can't feel sorry for him.
If he ever needs money,
let me know.
I'll always give him a hand.
Meanwhile, I'd prefer
to change the subject.
I still think Juan is Up
to something,...
...that he's planned it.
Typical of him.
Would you like 3 drink?
A gin, as usual?
Whatever you say.
A drink would be welcome.
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do?
How old are you, Faneca?
How old would you say?
You're younger than Joan.
- I'd say forty.
- Let's leave it at that.
Place Of birth?
YOU won't believe it.
- I was born here, like Juan.
- You were,...
...but they took you back
to the village.
No, Ma'am.
From Verdi SI. I went
to Germany, and back again.
Really?
What about your accent?
My parents were Andalusian.
That's the way we speak.
How long have you lived
in Catalonia?
Discounting the time
I spent in Germany,...
...30 years.
- You don't speak Catalonian?
- No, Ma'am.
I just can't
- What about German?
- Kind Of.
Over there,
they don't understand Spanish.
I bet it's the same
with Catalonian.
You probably speak it
"kind of".
That's true.
Give it a try
Don't wait.
Now?
Say something.
The first thing
you can think of
I feel embarrassed.
There's no shame
in having an accent,...
...don't worry.
It's not because
of the accent, Ma'am.
COINS OI].
Give me a blow job
Most eloquent.
Another drink?
Please.
You're remarkably brazen.
- I didn't mean anything bad.
- You don't say?
Have I offended you?
Don't ask idiotic questions.
You are a wonderful woman.
I wonder what Joan's told you
about me?
He told me you're used
to handle men.
That could be taken
as an insult.
But let's forget it.
I've enjoyed myself,
I'-.-'Ir. Faneca.
Thank you.
I believe I'd like
IO see the street...
...where you and my husband
grew up.
I may come and visit you
some time.
Very well.
When Will that be?
I don't know.
Please go now.
Close your eyes.
You mean "your eye", Grise.
Alright, your eye.
Ready.
Keep it closed!
Put your hands on my ass.
Lift me
Lift me
Open your eye.
Grise!
I'm a new woman, Juan!
Look at my eyes.
They're blue, just like yours.
I've got a new hairdo.
But most important of all,
I work at the Corte Ingles!
That's great!
In Catalonian, please.
I must speak Catalonian.
You too.
New contact lenses,
a new hairdo,...
...a new job
and a new tongue,...
the new Griselda!
We've got to celebrate.
Doing what?
The usual, of course.
And all the nice things
you tell me,...
...say them in Catalonian.
I want to have a good fuck
in Catalonian.
Come on.
It's all yours.
Just for you.
Whisper sweet nothings
in Catalonian.
You're finger licking good.
Tell me you love me.
I love you more
than the air I breath, Grise.
Stick if ill deeper inside.
Like if?
More than pancakes
with maple syrup.
Don't move, Grise,...
...of I'll come.
In Catalonian, please.
- Where are you, Mr. Faneca?
- Over here, child.
By the window.
- What are you doing?
- I'm thinking.
"It's so nice here."
"Should we go out?"
"Should we stay?"
We've got to eat
- What are you thinking about?
- Silly things.
About this street years ago,
when I was a kid.
No, you're not.
Blind people
have a sixth sense.
I have half a sixth sense,
I lost one eye.
You may not believe it,
but I can guess things.
Give me an example.
Alright.
You're not happy.
Are you, child?
I'm blind,...
...but I'd be happy
with just one eye.
One eye...
...to see the world
in color,...
...lo see this film.
It's black and white.
Happiness doesn't last
very long.
We're not satisfied
to see the world in color.
It's never enough.
Hello?
Palace Hotel?
Speak my language?
T.R. Decky.
Any messages for me?
It's not her, Mr. Faneca.
But some day it Will be,
won't it?
Some day.
When that day comes,
promise me to be happy.
If you promise,
I'll tell you what I see.
That day, I'll feel
as if I had both my eyes.
In that case, you should know
that the woman...
...who's broken your life
to bits...
...is about to come.
I wish you were right, child.
Mr. Faneca,
a lady's asked for you.
She's waiting for you
at the bar.
See?
How did you know?
She called three times
while you were gone.
Remember your promise.
I had some pretty red balls.
Where are they?
Shit!
Goddamn if!
There he is.
Faneca, Eudald Verdu.
Sir.
This drink is shit.
I came to return
my ex-husband's confessions.
They're yours.
I prefer someone else
to burn them.
I had fun reading them.
But they prove
that Joan's idea...
...of sexual relationships
was the same...
...than a porter's.
That's what he was.
Shut up.
Well, Ma'am,
I also used to be a porter.
I'll qualify that.
Janitor in a Ministry.
Were you ever a janitor
in a Ministry?
No, I wasn't.
Listen, "Ma'am",
as you call her,...
...told me: "Come along."
"I'll introduce you
to a guy from Andalusia...
...who speaks
like Vito Corleone."
Fuck Off, shithead.
We'll both fuck Off.
I can't take your immigrant.
Let's go.
No one orders me around.
You're a two-bit whore.
And you he chicken shit,
a windbag with an ass
full Of dry shit...
...and a tiny prick.
- You understand her?
- I get the general meaning.
Know something?
Get yourself a belly.
Get him 3 drink.
Thank you.
Isn't he sweet?
To get a belly.
I wish I could.
- I'm terribly sorry.
- Well, I'm not.
I've put up with that ass
for three months.
We've eaten together,...
...we've had drinks
and we've fought.
I was up to here.
Forget n,
it doesn't matter one bit.
It's forgotten.
You said you'd invite me
for a drink.
A promise is a promise.
Your husband's probably
around.
He could just walk in here.
Are you sure?
Pretty sure.
Even so,
although I doubt it,...
...we won't let that ruin
the evening.
That mustache does look good
on you, slicker.
He's having a bad time.
Isn't that too bad?
But it's not our fault,
is it?
You're right about that.
BU! he'll think...
...we're cuckolding him
under his nose.
What about you?
I'm here to do
as the lady pleases.
Anything nice in your room?
A bottle Of sherry.
Let's go then.
So, that's your district.
I like it.
Shoe,
little shoe,
...where's the stone?
COINS OI].
Stick if all the way ill,
bastard!
Fuck me!
Slide it in right to the top!
Tear my cunt apart!
More!. More!.
Fire your cannon!
Wait, don't move.
Piss inside me.
What?
PISS inside, damn if.
Wet my cunt, drown it.
I can't.
HOW nice.
What's this?
YOU should know.
I shaved it and didn't like
the way I looked.
You screw like Joan.
Did the same whore
teach you?
I don't get complaints
about my performance.
I suppose not.
Are you glad to have cuckolded
your friend?
No, Ma'am.
But I'm sure glad
to have known,...
...really known,...
...the woman Juan Mares
used to screw.
I got the sensation
I screwed with a corpse.
Again.
That's him.
YOU still there?
What do you want, fucker?
Cocksucker!
Go get lost, cuckold!
It's over now.
Dickhead.
Fucking immigrant!
Mares!
Wait!
Fuck Off!
- Don't you remember?
- Go suck your mother!
Where do you want to go?
I'll take you.
I don't know about you,
but I'm going to get laid.
- No, wait.
- Lay off.
Wait.
- We'll go see my Griselda.
- Who's the hell that?
She's got a great ass, man.
- And her heart's pure gold.