El Ataque del Pene Mutante del Espacio (2007) - full transcript
If you see the 3D sign on the screen?
put on you 3D lenses? and enjoy.
This is an advice of ?Amazing Monsters?.
?Hypertricosis?: hormonal hyper-secretion
that produces a freaky hair growth...
caused by a mutation in the
Horripilous glands.
This disease terribly affects
young people.
I don?t care about the ?Opus dei?
or the ?Ku Kux Klan?
But I do know that we must find
a cure to that mutation.
And give those fuzzy little fellows
a better life.
Dr. Dickinson research resulted in a
new theory that...
might give us the most effective therapy...
but its not an easy task. Right Dr Dickinson?
-Indeed my general.
350.000 miles away from earth,
towards "Piaasy bootny" asteroid...
there is a Gamma ray field
of unique frequency.
Which applied to the human brain and
horripilous glands under medical supervision...
produces a regression of the disease
that could?
lets say, cure this terrible affliction.
This is a project of the united nations
Galaxy 3000 consortium.
The scientific team also includes:
Dr Hans Sparkasse...
a mathematician from Wella institute
in Hamburg...
and Dr Eva Petricova specialized in
epidermic studies...
at the ?Comian? university at the
Aegean sea.
How are we going to reach the
Gamma ray field?
Don?t you worry Young Lady, in ?Hangar 69?
there is a rocket waiting for us?
Am I right general?
- Exactly, we must start immediately.
After you mademoiselle.
? Thanks.
Nice place!
(Yes, more than nice?)
(so tasty...)
(Ho yes, just like that...)
It would make us proud, to me
and to our nations...
that you find the cure to Hypertricosis.
Thank you my general.
we all hope to fulfill our mission
as perfectly as possible.
Once in an island at de Aegean sea...
I studied an epidermic disease, that...
produced certain impulses on the
patients?
Do you hear me?
-Yes, I?m all ears.
( I?m all penis and I all pleasure too?
mh so tasty! ).
Cannibalistic and anthropofhagic
impulses.
Did you know Dr that ??
Ho... -Well?
Oh I?m sorry my lady.
( Oh yes... yes )
You?ll see Dr Petricova...
sometimes, I also have certain impulses ?
All this time in a spaceship?
with a sensual and provocative woman
such as yourself...
Oh? Dr Sparkasse.
What the hell is going on here?
I dropped the samples of Hypertricosum DNA,
and Dr Dickinson was helping me.
Dr dickinson according to my calculations...
we are about to reach the gamma ray field.
Maybe you shoud be preparing
the reception instrumental.
Instead of been flirting with Dr Petricova.
I didn?t mean to offend you.
-But you have.
All my life doing things for other people, but?
What is it good for?
If I have no one by my side...
...to give me some satisfaction.
I?ll have to satisfy myself? again.
Luckily I managed to bring
these naughty magazines with me.
Attention !
You are about to enter
the Gamma ray field.
Get into the radiation shielded area.
Otherwise you could suffer
irreversible mutations.
I?ll repeat: mutations will be irreversible.
Where is Dr Dickinson?
Damn it!
All that noise it?s ruining my pleasure time!
Oh my god! The Gamma rays? no!!
I must find Dr dickinson.
I must find Dr dickinson.
-No !
You will stay here.
But if we don?t save him he?ll die !
He didn?t follow the protocol,
we?ll have to let him die. - But...
Why?
Because I love you Eva?
And after he dies you will be mine !
And we?ll live happily ever after in space.
Let me go, you are mad!
Let me go!
You are mad, let me go!
Don?t touch me,
get your filthy hands off me!
Don?t leave, come back Dr.
You are out of danger now.
I?ll repeat: you are out of danger now.
Where are you going Dr Petricova?
I?ll find Dr Dickinson.
Dr Dickinson.
Dr Dickinson?
Dr Dickinson?
Are you there?
Dr Dickinson !
Verfluchten weisswurst!
(Damn White-sausage).
Attention this is general Watson
from earth.
what is all that noise?
what is going on?
Answer!! What is going on over there?!
Damn it, we?ve lost communication.
General, the ship is changing
its flight course.
Oh my god, it is coming back to earth.
Oh come on...
just a little bit.
Stop it Billy Joe,
you know I?m a Jehovah?s witness?
we?re not doing it until we are married.
How much will I have to wait?
What was that? I?ll take a look.
-No.
No Billy Joe please don?t go, I?m scared.
Leave me alone, you are such a bother.
Don?t go!
Oh Jehovah! Why are you testing me
like this?
You know how much I would like
to taste his?
Mary Ann... Mary Ann!
We've got to go!
A meteor just crushed here,
we must go to the police station.
Mary Ann !!
Ho no !!
Write this down...
A Young couple, approximately...
20 years old.
Such a slaughter.
General ! general !
Corporal Palomarez, liutenant Romero
did you find the space ship?
Yes my general. There are no survivors.
And Dr Dickinson corpse is gone.
- Dr Dickinson...
It can?t be true.
Well, well?
I can see that you?ve already
pitched the tent.
We're going to have lots of fun tonight.
Right boys?
I?ve did it fine too.
Haven?t I sergeant Wild-Bill?
Yes, I?ll give you a very special reward
later Sparky.
What the fuck?
Son of a whore!
What was that?
It?s coming from in there
my general.
Well?What are you waiting for?
Go take a look.
Corporal Palomarez you should be working
at McDonald?s...
you are the shame of the army!
It?s a monster, lets shoot him!
The boys just found something,
take cover miss Agrasanchez.
God Almighty?
Dr Dickinson!
What has happened to you?
Miss Agrasanchez!
Are you alright miss Agrasanchez?
Yes but? that thing is heading
to the city.
Do you know how many beautiful women
are in town?
It?s going to be a massacre.
- Corporal Palomarez where were you?
That giantic worm almost kill us my general.
General Watson is that a gigantic pennis?
- Yes, and it?s Dr Dickinson.
He mutated into whatever he had
close at hand.
What do you mean?
Ehh?Anyway, that spray scared him away.
What is it?
It?s just a common spermicidal spray
my general.
I'll not ask you why do you keep that
in your purse, but you just gave me an idea.
We must keep him from away from the city.
We?ll bring him back with something
he'll not be able to resist.
Palomarez, did you bring the movie
I asked you?
This one is the best my general.
One of those that keep the boys warm
during the night watch? yes that will do.
Good!! you brought the chemical we used
to sterilize those apes on the Korea war.
I love the smell of that shit !!
By the way, could you tell me what is it?
It's a spermicide made of walrus pheromones
and radioactive Polonium-210 my general.
Perfect !!
We?re ready my general.
- Ok then?
everybody in position and? Action !!
Sales? sales?
relaxing massage?
Mhh quick sex?
This is it? dial 69? lets see.
69
Hello, I saw your ad at the newspaper...
and got a boner for the first time
in two years...
so I need a sexy lady who?s
experienced on the profession.
So? what do you have to offer?
What? A brunette with a red bush?
Send her right away, hurry up !
Fuck! That was fast. I better hurry.
Come in baby, come in.
Hello, how are you?
-Hi, what?s up.
Would you like a demonstration?
Ok, show me. Oh yes?
The party has just began.
Such an exotic pussy?
Ho, and it smells so nice.
Here you have it. Do you like it?
You better hide.
Didn?t you want a quickie?
? I wanted you to arrive quickly...
now I want to go slow.
I love the way you move.
Want some breast milk?
Yes I?m hungry?
mhh what a nice pair of milk bags baby?
Mhh lovely body.
Get yourself comfortable,
I?ll be back in a minute.
I might get some money out of this guy?
Nice place?
Nice place?
Nice place?
Hurry up, use the spermicide!
It?s not working my general.
Shit!
Fuck, it?s jammed? son of a bitch!!
You shall not pass, you damn monster?
Banzai!!
Guys!!
General !
Hey you, you freaking mutant penis!
There is no humanity left
in that monstrous body of yours.
You are an abomination, and you must?
Die!!
Take cover!
What modern warfare could not kill...
was exterminated by a spermicidal spray.
That man turned into a monster...
but he was a hero.
He was the greatest scientist ever known.
Rest in peace Dr Dickinson.
Rest in peace.
put on you 3D lenses? and enjoy.
This is an advice of ?Amazing Monsters?.
?Hypertricosis?: hormonal hyper-secretion
that produces a freaky hair growth...
caused by a mutation in the
Horripilous glands.
This disease terribly affects
young people.
I don?t care about the ?Opus dei?
or the ?Ku Kux Klan?
But I do know that we must find
a cure to that mutation.
And give those fuzzy little fellows
a better life.
Dr. Dickinson research resulted in a
new theory that...
might give us the most effective therapy...
but its not an easy task. Right Dr Dickinson?
-Indeed my general.
350.000 miles away from earth,
towards "Piaasy bootny" asteroid...
there is a Gamma ray field
of unique frequency.
Which applied to the human brain and
horripilous glands under medical supervision...
produces a regression of the disease
that could?
lets say, cure this terrible affliction.
This is a project of the united nations
Galaxy 3000 consortium.
The scientific team also includes:
Dr Hans Sparkasse...
a mathematician from Wella institute
in Hamburg...
and Dr Eva Petricova specialized in
epidermic studies...
at the ?Comian? university at the
Aegean sea.
How are we going to reach the
Gamma ray field?
Don?t you worry Young Lady, in ?Hangar 69?
there is a rocket waiting for us?
Am I right general?
- Exactly, we must start immediately.
After you mademoiselle.
? Thanks.
Nice place!
(Yes, more than nice?)
(so tasty...)
(Ho yes, just like that...)
It would make us proud, to me
and to our nations...
that you find the cure to Hypertricosis.
Thank you my general.
we all hope to fulfill our mission
as perfectly as possible.
Once in an island at de Aegean sea...
I studied an epidermic disease, that...
produced certain impulses on the
patients?
Do you hear me?
-Yes, I?m all ears.
( I?m all penis and I all pleasure too?
mh so tasty! ).
Cannibalistic and anthropofhagic
impulses.
Did you know Dr that ??
Ho... -Well?
Oh I?m sorry my lady.
( Oh yes... yes )
You?ll see Dr Petricova...
sometimes, I also have certain impulses ?
All this time in a spaceship?
with a sensual and provocative woman
such as yourself...
Oh? Dr Sparkasse.
What the hell is going on here?
I dropped the samples of Hypertricosum DNA,
and Dr Dickinson was helping me.
Dr dickinson according to my calculations...
we are about to reach the gamma ray field.
Maybe you shoud be preparing
the reception instrumental.
Instead of been flirting with Dr Petricova.
I didn?t mean to offend you.
-But you have.
All my life doing things for other people, but?
What is it good for?
If I have no one by my side...
...to give me some satisfaction.
I?ll have to satisfy myself? again.
Luckily I managed to bring
these naughty magazines with me.
Attention !
You are about to enter
the Gamma ray field.
Get into the radiation shielded area.
Otherwise you could suffer
irreversible mutations.
I?ll repeat: mutations will be irreversible.
Where is Dr Dickinson?
Damn it!
All that noise it?s ruining my pleasure time!
Oh my god! The Gamma rays? no!!
I must find Dr dickinson.
I must find Dr dickinson.
-No !
You will stay here.
But if we don?t save him he?ll die !
He didn?t follow the protocol,
we?ll have to let him die. - But...
Why?
Because I love you Eva?
And after he dies you will be mine !
And we?ll live happily ever after in space.
Let me go, you are mad!
Let me go!
You are mad, let me go!
Don?t touch me,
get your filthy hands off me!
Don?t leave, come back Dr.
You are out of danger now.
I?ll repeat: you are out of danger now.
Where are you going Dr Petricova?
I?ll find Dr Dickinson.
Dr Dickinson.
Dr Dickinson?
Dr Dickinson?
Are you there?
Dr Dickinson !
Verfluchten weisswurst!
(Damn White-sausage).
Attention this is general Watson
from earth.
what is all that noise?
what is going on?
Answer!! What is going on over there?!
Damn it, we?ve lost communication.
General, the ship is changing
its flight course.
Oh my god, it is coming back to earth.
Oh come on...
just a little bit.
Stop it Billy Joe,
you know I?m a Jehovah?s witness?
we?re not doing it until we are married.
How much will I have to wait?
What was that? I?ll take a look.
-No.
No Billy Joe please don?t go, I?m scared.
Leave me alone, you are such a bother.
Don?t go!
Oh Jehovah! Why are you testing me
like this?
You know how much I would like
to taste his?
Mary Ann... Mary Ann!
We've got to go!
A meteor just crushed here,
we must go to the police station.
Mary Ann !!
Ho no !!
Write this down...
A Young couple, approximately...
20 years old.
Such a slaughter.
General ! general !
Corporal Palomarez, liutenant Romero
did you find the space ship?
Yes my general. There are no survivors.
And Dr Dickinson corpse is gone.
- Dr Dickinson...
It can?t be true.
Well, well?
I can see that you?ve already
pitched the tent.
We're going to have lots of fun tonight.
Right boys?
I?ve did it fine too.
Haven?t I sergeant Wild-Bill?
Yes, I?ll give you a very special reward
later Sparky.
What the fuck?
Son of a whore!
What was that?
It?s coming from in there
my general.
Well?What are you waiting for?
Go take a look.
Corporal Palomarez you should be working
at McDonald?s...
you are the shame of the army!
It?s a monster, lets shoot him!
The boys just found something,
take cover miss Agrasanchez.
God Almighty?
Dr Dickinson!
What has happened to you?
Miss Agrasanchez!
Are you alright miss Agrasanchez?
Yes but? that thing is heading
to the city.
Do you know how many beautiful women
are in town?
It?s going to be a massacre.
- Corporal Palomarez where were you?
That giantic worm almost kill us my general.
General Watson is that a gigantic pennis?
- Yes, and it?s Dr Dickinson.
He mutated into whatever he had
close at hand.
What do you mean?
Ehh?Anyway, that spray scared him away.
What is it?
It?s just a common spermicidal spray
my general.
I'll not ask you why do you keep that
in your purse, but you just gave me an idea.
We must keep him from away from the city.
We?ll bring him back with something
he'll not be able to resist.
Palomarez, did you bring the movie
I asked you?
This one is the best my general.
One of those that keep the boys warm
during the night watch? yes that will do.
Good!! you brought the chemical we used
to sterilize those apes on the Korea war.
I love the smell of that shit !!
By the way, could you tell me what is it?
It's a spermicide made of walrus pheromones
and radioactive Polonium-210 my general.
Perfect !!
We?re ready my general.
- Ok then?
everybody in position and? Action !!
Sales? sales?
relaxing massage?
Mhh quick sex?
This is it? dial 69? lets see.
69
Hello, I saw your ad at the newspaper...
and got a boner for the first time
in two years...
so I need a sexy lady who?s
experienced on the profession.
So? what do you have to offer?
What? A brunette with a red bush?
Send her right away, hurry up !
Fuck! That was fast. I better hurry.
Come in baby, come in.
Hello, how are you?
-Hi, what?s up.
Would you like a demonstration?
Ok, show me. Oh yes?
The party has just began.
Such an exotic pussy?
Ho, and it smells so nice.
Here you have it. Do you like it?
You better hide.
Didn?t you want a quickie?
? I wanted you to arrive quickly...
now I want to go slow.
I love the way you move.
Want some breast milk?
Yes I?m hungry?
mhh what a nice pair of milk bags baby?
Mhh lovely body.
Get yourself comfortable,
I?ll be back in a minute.
I might get some money out of this guy?
Nice place?
Nice place?
Nice place?
Hurry up, use the spermicide!
It?s not working my general.
Shit!
Fuck, it?s jammed? son of a bitch!!
You shall not pass, you damn monster?
Banzai!!
Guys!!
General !
Hey you, you freaking mutant penis!
There is no humanity left
in that monstrous body of yours.
You are an abomination, and you must?
Die!!
Take cover!
What modern warfare could not kill...
was exterminated by a spermicidal spray.
That man turned into a monster...
but he was a hero.
He was the greatest scientist ever known.
Rest in peace Dr Dickinson.
Rest in peace.