Ein Käfer gibt Vollgas (1972) - full transcript

(Waves Crashing)

(Receiving Radio Transmission)

yeah i'm reading you what's up? it is 800 hours, time 
to log your position. well what is our position?

we are approaching coast of portugal we were 
supposed to have taken 48 hours to get from

the canaries to lisbon 47 hours 42 minutes 
18 seconds. okay next time i'll program you

down to a tenth of a second make it a hundred. 
you've got too big of a mouth for a computer.

900 hours off southern coast portugal

you don't say if we're off the southern 
coast at nine o'clock then we'll dock

in lisbon tonight just in time for 
dinner okay dodo step on it, floor it!

(Soft Music)

scrub my back dodo (Pass the brush) don't be too rough there



(One gentle scrubbing, coming up)

don't get rough now. hey not 
funny stop horsing around...

(Soft Music)

well what is it?

Dodo, look there's the algarve the south of portugal

that's what i told you i'm 
glad to see dry land again

hold it silver but uh

oh very funny senor

i love being bothered when i play golf and that 
goes for my lawyer as well well i'm sorry but

it's important very important sir. plato was 
released from prison he's on his way here now

does he have the plates with him? all i know 
is that i've conveyed your offer to him

and that he's prepared to sell them he wants 50 
000 real dollars for the phony five dollar plate

which is why i took the liberty of bringing 
the money along. plato is due at the airport

in an hour senior marches. i'll wait for you 
with the chateau bring senor plato to me



i'll discuss our business with him 
in person there yeah as you wish

yeah and so far listen you're my case i'll take 
custody of the cash. very well senior market.

go on what's the matter you're afraid of 
plato? if i knew who he was i'd meet the

guy myself but you will soon know who 
he is. sure sure. thank you bye goodbye

well if your client would like the plates 
i'll have to go out to our villa in the

country because that's where they're hidden 
no you can't have hidden the plates in the

how would you know that i know because you because 
you're too intelligent you'd hide them in a safer

place i have one side of the plates here the 
other side's with my friend chabulski what

with jabulski yeah but what if he's out of 
town then i'll get in touch with a young

woman named dolores who should know where he 
is i'm afraid this is most annoying of you how

will i ever explain to my client that you're 
in no position to do business with us if he

wants to do business with me the smartest thing 
is to have the money in a handy place it's all

tell me have you talked about this with anybody 
i never mentioned it to a soul we mustn't waste

time though we have a car waiting for us you 
go on i've got time to spare i'll get me a taxi

why don't we take him with us you were mad to 
have killed chewbalski he hit half the plate in

his villa in fellasia in malaysia yes from now 
on we're not going to let him out of our sight

uh

what are you doing there you always 
look through people's keyholes

do you always stick people in the uh rear end 
just when they're spot what did you call me

or you think i'm stupid huh well i'm not 
just what are you after uh senor how pity

uh i peddle handiwork for the sisters the medera 
clone vent did you ever see anything so beautiful

it's not even finished what 
damn it those lazy cows

wait till the mother superior finds 
out what they pulled are you a singer

what was he up to he was all bent 
over with an eye to your keyhole

i should have known that what brings you 
here i live here hmm but that apartment's

where one of my best friends lives stan 
chewbalski then you must be plato yes i am

i'm tamara chibulski stan was my brother

did you say he was your brother 
let me explain to you at the beach

will you wait while i get 
my things it won't take long

did the police discover where 
you had the plates you were using

why what place the copper engravings 
used for printing counterfeit money with

how do you know about that since he died 
i've read a lot of interesting things

papers that my brother left me

nice spot huh that's where it was what was i 
was halfway i couldn't climb any further and

i couldn't come down i was really terrified 
and i came after you yes and we both took a

nasty tumble and that made you so angry that 
you gave me a good spanking get stuck again

my child and you know what'll happen don't 
you call me a child i'm not a child anymore

did you get stanslighted you came here to get it 
they must explain where the plates are hidden he

left it with dolores i remember the way he put it 
he wrote if you ask dolores he'll probably never

tell you but twist her neck for me and i'm sure 
she will well did she give you a very hard time

yeah i broke her neck just to get the message 
out of him what our friend dolores was the name

we gave the black queen when we played chess 
because she always seemed to win she wouldn't

give the message to me till i twisted off her 
head was that an idea of yours no it was stan's

were you gone for a very long time in jail 
four years five months and 27 days wow

and in all that time you haven't kissed a girl

didn't have much opportunity for that you have the 
opportunity now what go on you're hardly the first

i'm afraid that wouldn't be very uh

why don't you like me sure but i'm almost as old 
as your father young lady what's wrong with that

tamara you keep out of this

there we go

senor plato welcome home i hope we're not 
disturbing you if you be good enough to hand

over that letter we'll be on our way what letter 
i believe you received a letter that explains

where the plates were hidden what happened 
to stan chubowski the gentleman doesn't know

who asks the questions here market de la setter 
does now give me the letter you come and get it

go after it then

looking for something

young

so

i want you you can't escape

stop where you are where are you help me 
please he's following me get in the car

idiots

on your feet

no that one oh sorry he 
thinks i'm stupid but i'm not

the horn dodo don't move

please gentlemen relax

anybody who knows no i never saw him

unlock it now young lady i warn you there's a 
limit to my patience give me that letter did you

get it silver this insolent little pup refuses 
to give it to me hadn't she best give it to him

do what he says

it disappeared i i must have lost it that's 
impossible i saw you put it there with my own eyes

i know it's there let me go

i'm going to show you but what do you 
expect from a tin can tin can you'll see

i say mind your own business that wasn't funny

the beetle did it sir young man i am not 
stupid don't blame it on a piece of junk

i don't get it it's what you call 
defensive programming dumbo jalopy huh

follow

for the revolting

that's enough nonsense sorry there's nothing i can 
do gonzalez cut the engine another one coming up

good i'll take him for a spin 
marchese the letter you wanted

marquez

he goes wild when he's angry

how can we ever thank you for your 
help sir what's nothing at all

some thumb you've got there just double 
jointed may i go ahead and see if it works

quite a weapon you can keep it if you 
like it could come in handy and look us

up if you're ever in lisbon general service 
our number is just a minute dota what's the

telephone number of general service three 
two three four seven six sorry blind busy

busy as usual incredible just as for jimmy bundy 
that's me adios hello thanks for everything

stop stop where you are ah come back here bring 
back my letter stop the letter is still in the

car seen my caser wake up senor you've got to do 
something what do i pay you idiots for anyway i

have a dozen bodyguards to protect me my still 
gets kicked around see my casey your letter is

on its way to this band what yes it's in the 
beetle i saw it myself it must have fallen

out when i was in the middle let's go there's no 
time to lose we've got to catch him do your job

don't you dare come back without my letter 
i hope they won't be able to track him down

not with that car still i'd better warn jimmy 
bundy that those lunk heads are after him

i've got to go to lisbon you mean we've got to 
go to lisbon how often must i tell you you're

to stay out of this what could possibly 
happen after all i'm with a policeman

would you please say that again you're not plato

now look i'm going to tell you what nato 
happens to have shattered his wrist the time

that he and stan were arrested he couldn't 
hold a pencil much less hit someone with it

you've read too many detective stories and 
i almost always know from the beginning of

the story who'd done it you must have 
a very important job with the police

senor marquez took you for plato so 
he must have learned everything about

plato while he was a prisoner now who else 
could do that but a cop now listen to me

you're playing with fire they're very 
dangerous men it's a question who manages

to get the engravings first everyone knows the 
government offered a 20 000 reward and since the

police can't accept rewards for themselves 
poor tomorrow will so you cooperate with me

or no what or tomorrow morning they'll 
be informed you're working for the police

now you listen to me you you greedy 
little go-getting whippersnapper

yes well you can come with me but only if 
you agree to do exactly what i tell you

i'll do anything you want honest then for a start 
get back in the car i won't tell them who you are

who are you anyway i'm still called plato

i think we're being followed

um the dodo we're going through

nuts i guess that didn't fall

he turned left right into 
the rock now he's up ahead

dodo we're out of danger good work

sooner or later they're bound to come this way

dodo it's time to blend into the scenery

tire tracks they went that way that's 
what i told you come on let's go

yeah well not so fast i'm losing my pants

six

let's make it snappy what's holding you up 
what do you mean i'm trying to hold my pants up

switch over to radar control dodo proceed at will

so

look granada we're not a look at that quick

renaissance heaven's sakes 
wake up a boulder just went by

don't be silly

hurry up you guys come on come 
on follow me all right come on

wait hey wait i gotta get my pants on good 
god look renata what's going on not so fast

let's get out of here i thought this 
was a nice legit spot hello girl coming

we have the entire coast of portugal covered the

beetle hasn't shown yet but when it 
does signal my case it will tell you

where near us that's nonsense i would 
have seen it however i'll have a look

there's nothing inside in my sector hold on i'll 
ask mickey mickey any moving objects out there

the place is deserted let's go dodo there's no 
sign of life on the beach senior not a sound

not a thing is that so i can see from miles 
around there's no trace of human activity

nothing but sand and sea and sky in the rocks and

look boys here's old silva there with his umbrella

now let's clear out dodo switch over to automatic

ready get set go what are you waiting for

need that any longer taxi

the tracks go straight ahead

it was a rock that's an odd rock 
shaped just like the beatles

go ahead he won't come out of there alive

let me finish him bam back

ain't nobody in here they're over there near 
the rocks the police let's get moving but you

can't do that that's the thing that's 
wrapped me down i'm the dirty old man

wait you guys

give

you thought i was stupid but i'm not fair 
you are you dirty exhibitionist it's sexual

perverts and pornography that are 
ruining the morals of the nation

don't worry senor he won't 
get away from us this time

dodo how about an 80 uphill grade dodo 
always makes the grade good go to it

he's never make it after him

up

hey

yes senior market no he can't escape now 
he's as good as court yes we will right

we're there welcome to lisbon

look over there

so that's the avenida library

i never dreamed lisbon was so lovely i 
wonder if jimmy bundy is here in lisbon

impossible unless he flew here however 
we should pay a visit to general service

i think we'll find it just outside town 
it might impress you well we'll soon see

hey here comes plato huh there's nobody around 
judging from what jimmy bundy said they know

we're coming and if they're expecting us 
they'll send someone to meet us welcome to

general service we were expecting 
you the ferry is going to pick you up

it's very impressive actually i doubt if there's

anyone but robots and computers to 
keep his company in there maggie

maggie i wish it learned to leave me alone

maggie where are you in here keeping myself busy 
a man and a woman are coming across on the ferry

you know what i bet their 
clients come and look clients

make sure it's not anyone we owe money to i 
know all our creditors these are strangers

you're right cyril they do look like clients 
cyril i've got it i can let my fox find out for us

and what if it doesn't work they might 
find us out that's a risk i'll have to take

the main thing is finding out who 
we're dealing with that way we'll

know how much they're worth 
let me have your billboard

hurry will you come on now watch this

you suppose that'll please him please who 
jimmy bondi oh you like the coffee machine

the one you invented oh uh your clients 
while i get dressed you make them at home

now look again

boss it's not jimmy it's plato and the girl

i got my eyes open well i 
probably look stupid but i'm not

welcome to general service

this way please

oh my god uh

she's in a rush yeah i bet she's russia senor may 
i help you yes tell us who that person was oh yes

it seems she's a russian princess a customer of 
ours please won't you make yourselves at home

know what i think we may as well do what the 
man says and have a look at general's service

princess

well i'll be the damn thing worked i told you

it says here he was just released from prison an 
ex-convict oh and i said make yourselves at home

what exactly is general service general service 
exists for the purpose of making your dreams come

true we will do anything to serve you as long 
as it's not illegal or immoral if you want a

white elephant we'll get it if you want to go to 
kathmandu we'll fly you there if you want to go

out to dinner we'll babysit for you we will keep 
your wife's jewels in our vaults or if you prefer

we will keep your wife in our vaults we will 
retrieve stolen property get your tickets to the

world series teach you fluent chinese in 48 hours 
how to fly a jet or how to become a movie star

this sort of thing always gives me the 
creativity i wouldn't worry the robots

programmed on a computer when you ask 
them a question these boys here answer it

it's a clever trick the man who 
designed it is a clever fellow

there are some awfully clever women designers 
too sir what can general service do for you

uh may we see senor bondi please jimmy bondi 
yes is he here to tell the truth senor the

last time i saw him he was sitting outside 
in his beetle planning a voyage to spain

i wasn't aware too much later that he was taking 
a voyage around the world and since then you've

had no news from him the last card he sent 
came from africa the sahara desert this way

we bumped into him in algarve he said he was 
coming here it can't be when is he coming is

he all right he looked well when we saw him 
yesterday i've got a letter of introduction

but i'm afraid my billfold disappeared ah 
so it's yours and the gardener found it

you must have dropped it when you got 
off the ferry that's where you found it

i have it there in my desk you say you 
saw jimmy bondi you spoke to him if you

wanted something done you could have asked him 
it's pretty complicated he has a paper of ours

dodo i'm going shopping when 
you filled your tank why don't

you go find a parking place for yourself okay

regulation 6397 it is a criminal offense to 
spit in a police officer's eye regulation 5087

it is a criminal offense to do physical 
harm to the person of an officer of the law

yeah you see over there then the culprit 
will be sent to jail you'll pay for this

only criminal law doesn't seem to apply 
to a motor car obviously it only refers

to living persons but since that man 
is responsible for this stupid machine

no no dodo

listen to me senor there is something 
wrong with the car that won't obey the law

senator commissioner what is it i can't hold the 
flag load because my bugle doesn't work why not

that crazy car pulled into pieces dodo 
what do you know about bugle calls

your timing is tops

bye

so

so

that's the famous arena where the 
bullfights are held it's a fantastic sight

and over there is where the star comes in el toro

i'm sure i'd fainted the side of it all the 
portuguese have different customs for instance

they never kill the bull in portugal 
the fight is really a display of courage

a sort of match between the strength of 
the bull and the skill of the torreiras

tamara see what i just found

thank you

what a brave torreira you are

we'd like you to come along please but don't 
give us any trouble or you'll regret it

would like to have a word with you at his 
palace if you cooperate no harm will come to you

well nobody's up yet dodo

wake up isabel i brought treat for you

jimmy

jimmy bondi

isabelle wake up stupid it's late 
we don't allow obama's to sleep here

so

um

now look here we have all the stable hands we 
need it's not a flop house either i didn't want

to get you out of bed that's all that you haven't 
changed a bit maggie you'll look just great as if

you cared the least little bit is that the philly 
i gave you when i went away no isabel is the

daughter you gave me the mother hasn't been that 
long it was three years ago when you walked out

how time flies tell me how cyril he's just 
fine of course i'd avoid him if i were you

what a sight you are oh by the way yesterday 
someone asked for you a man called plato

plato or he wants some letter it must be rather 
important everybody seems interested in it

well uh can i help you no thank you we've managed 
to get along all these years without your help

i better say hello to cyril

they're driving me crazy with their fiddly 
oil a couple of nuts and how are the

prisoners doing today silva enjoying the music 
multiprestor piano how about some more to drink

sorry something

it's a genie aladdin's inside this bottle

and that's exactly the gimmick we'll use i'm not 
so sure we'll fit in there now about that one

i think we'll fit in this

now we'll see if this thing really works

you let me know if anybody comes

i raise you another thousand since 
it's the marquez's money why not

jimmy bondi's in town he arrived before 
dawn this morning slip right past us

while you obviously were sound asleep huh 
i was i never closed an eyeball all night

we caught in two old pals geoca palace new york 
east coast margie of san francisco west coast

what coast are you from max drawler 
coney island roller coaster senoras

now it's your turn you just hand over 
the five thousand but we'll kill him dead

do whatever you want all senior marqueza 
wants is the letter okay silva the deed

is practically done got remember if you don't 
succeed i never saw you in my life got that okay

that was a long night maybe i should go to bed huh

i hope they fall for it don't make any noise

keep down there tomorrow and don't move a muscle 
my dad what is it i have to no not now can i come

what's going on here what have they done 
to the girl what's she screaming for

oh should we know we just got here no no 
they're gone but they were here a minute ago

that was where we left the right there there's 
no other way they've escaped through the sewers

they couldn't have come this way because the 
gates were locked i know where they'll show up

they're all for the wild goose 
chase now keep behind that thing

it's too big for me i'm sorry it's the only way 
to get past them without being seen forward march

plato slow down

i missed what you've done

they couldn't get this one how do you 
know they couldn't get there nowhere else

well i'd give her a good night's sleep just 
a second you can catch up on your sleep later

on i've been up all night long that's too bad we 
need your help you know plato could have tricked

us we left the gate wide open i knew it idiots 
hurry hurry after them and you're coming with us

that's what you say i know i might look stupid 
but i'm not i'm going to bed hurry up will you

oh here they come up against the wall hurry

get down

that way wait for me

stick off they went right by now let's go

why did they make these things with wheels on them

go on what are you afraid of

lord you call that helping let's go 
drollo you can sleep later no you

think i'm stupid huh well i'm not stupid you are

boy that sure is heavy

if you want we'll switch i hear someone again 
come on up against the wall against what

we'll put it back together

i'm going to sneeze

is it gone let me see

come on this must lead somewhere how do we get 
down there we'll have to jump you wait here for me

careful

get out get down

where

hmm

tamara hey what is it oh come on i'm too afraid

look there's the girl what are you 
waiting for go on stomper silva

don't let them get away how could you let 
them escape watch a bunch of idiotic fatheads

after them what am i paying you for

no wait please send your marquesa that was 
nice to him let's get why did you do such a

stupid thing that's enough of that silver senior 
i'm sorry but the plates were in that package

hmm looking for trouble aren't we we were only 
worn outs from walking oh you weren't running away

i don't believe you do you think i'm stupid well 
i'm not and i wasn't thinking any such thing

what are you doing here i was trying to get 
a little sleep is that what you wanted why

don't we uh take you to a hotel then that way 
you can sleep the whole afternoon no you don't

you think i'm that stupid but i'm not

welcome to general service 
we take pains with our brains

yeah how do you like that it's quite a 
trick jimmy but there must be a catch to it

hey i'll put that away before maggie 
comes good idea maggie's pretty clever too

she's invented some amazing 
gimmicks you'll see sarah yes cyril

do you know where my fox is cyril uh no i don't

oh jimmy what's been going on here uh 
he was showing me his latest invention

oh well jimmy let's see what you're 
capable of if you're not too tired that is

i've designed the ultimate in air guns 
surely your weapon isn't lethal but yes it is

it can penetrate solid steel a foot thick it's 
accurate up to a mile away too but don't you still

need bullets for it my pistol doesn't use ordinary 
bullets it fires tiny spheres of super compressed

air actually i designed it for the protection 
of that space laboratory now approaching venus

see those tomatoes over there

well what do you think of it i think maggie's 
just as accurate i think it's a waste of tomatoes

it's more than a pistol 
though for example watch this

now what do you say

where do you want it maggie exactly where it was

there the most revolutionary 
firearm since the winchester

and it weighs less than an eighth of 
an ounce but your coffee's ready too

are you expecting anyone maggie you're all dressed 
up oh i almost forgot we have two customers

cyril where's my fox uh 
there take the bench inside

will she make us think about it well 
i doubt it but talk about a sting

have you been sleeping in a stable yeah 
what then why don't you take a bath

hundreds of dollars huh oh wow thousands 
of dollars it's a war for the arrest of

chico cappellas america's number one criminal 
wanted for narcotic smuggling arson robbery and

murder and this one is maggio fitti goopy here 
he is with his girl if you cheat on me once more

you're done for some clientele you've got here 
us you're the one they asked for didn't they

for me yes they wanted to talk to the man who 
owns the yellow beetle tell me cyril is that

secret passage still the best way to get out 
of here you can't walk out on us here they come

look we don't have time to sit around all day long 
countless of kiev for the precious works of art

yeah well now lady chicago so you're 
trying to outfox me were you excuse me

you wanted to see me i believe about what may i 
ask about what he says give me the letter fathead

just what do you mean what 
do you mean what do you mean

don't overestimate my tolerance of bad jokes in 
your can it this ain't humorous will you take

your dirty foot off my chair it's 18th century 
did you hear that the joint's full of junk

don't you think you're going to parson yours 
not far enough knucklehead where's the letter

huh where is it

answer me now how about spilling of bees

what's your racket huh answer 
me or i'll bet you one hmm

look at mr major fidogolfy of chicago

i bet you're the same martial that's number two 
on the wanted list uh he's got my number i thought

nobody knew me here in my house i'm the master 
if there's anything you want come right to me

i'd cool the chatter if i were you and 
you're chico cabela's of san francisco

you're wrong if you think we're 
impressed because you're number one chico

you wouldn't have the chance of a 
snowball in hell in our business

there's a lady here remember are you 
scared to uncover the hole in your head

i'm not impressed with your insults

tell me what are you impressed by 
perhaps a match of physical skill why not

aren't you biting off more 
than you can chew charlie

no cheating it's not done with mirrors 
cheap gangsters like you are a dime a

dozen the world over about twice what 
you're worth too enough small talk

just keep quiet majo one more word and you're 
going to curse the day you were ever born

maybe you need a charmed life my boy but you're 
not immortal don't move out ready for the holes

what a pity chico i've been 
immunized against lead poisoning

now then it's my turn i can't wait to belt you one

stop right there lady chicago huh i 
thought you might like a little coffee

maggie the gun

well jimmy what do you think of 
that even if it's a bit old hate

impressed jimmy bundy are you sure maggie

jimmy what are we doing with these two jerks

i'm sure gentlemen gangsters like you wouldn't 
mind if we were to charge you a certain sum

before the damage you've done 
where did she ever get my wallet

item number one 16th century oil from the school 
of pietro de cardona which you stupidly misused

is an ashtray the repair of which is going 
to cost you a thousand dollars two thousand

dollars two thousand please deduct that maggie 
what that's too damn steep sit down and shut

up nowadays the old masters are expensive for 
two thousand clams i've repaired a thing myself

now we come to item number two 
it consists of a mahogany bench

spanish broke the seed of which is broken in two

it wasn't us i saw you smash up my bench

look at it this way i broke it only because i 
was provoked into doing it so you're the guilty

ones you know then how many dollars are left over 
there's twelve hundred dollars that's about right

one thousand two hundred dollars for the 
mahogany bench that's way below factory price too

now gentlemen here are your wallets and thank you

oh you've got some very cute girlfriends 
very cute indeed the next time we meet i

warn you your goose is cooked you hear that 
it's cooked yeah and you i want my hat back

a man can catch his death a cold in this weather 
without a hat on do you care for coffee thanks no

general servants just a minute jimmy it's for you

i think jimmy bondi will be 
very happy to return your letter

if you ask him to well there he's on the 
phone of course whatever you say this is plato

why don't you come here and 
bring the letter when you come

good that's a good place sure i'll be alone

all right goodbye

go see what's taking them so long

it appears that stan shibulski had the other plate 
somewhere in the villa according to this good

it almost solves the case he sounds like a cop

or the fbi not exactly i work for the fbscn and 
just what the hell is that the federal bureau of

security for coins and notes that's right it's an 
organization that's supported by the international

banking community for the purpose of stamping out 
the worldwide traffic in counterfeit banknotes

and now i need your help general service 
at your service in your plato of course

we always take ten percent that can 
be arranged what do you want us to do

let's see what if i were to talk 
the market into searching the villa

we'll let him do the work and when he finds the 
plate you folks will move in with the police here

first you'll contact this number give them the 
exact location of the house where chebulski lived

we'll set up an observation unit in the house 
next door and you give us a sign as soon as

you find the plate that's a good idea maggie 
if you'll let us up the market first we have

an old score to settle i think i can arrange 
it watch it i think we have company coming

good luck i'll be counting 
on you we'll do our best

all right

it's about time they found the 
place we'll have to move in then

they won't be expecting anything i can take care 
of them that's easy to say is that the trick kane

well what's it filled with what gun powder 
gun power yeah is that all the equipment i get

well what more do you want you'll see jimmy 
shall i record the whole thing of course

i hit something senor

is that it yes the underside forgetting one 
thing they're mine you know shapiro see that

our friend gets what's coming to him will you 
whatever he's got coming i'll give him double

yeah if you think we're that 
stupid you got it wrong mister

i suppose that means you think 
you now own these printing plates

you bet we do samuel do you intend 
to make counterfeit money with them

as much as we possibly can these 
engravings are of extremely high quality

market what's my cut in the deal i can't 
believe you'd seriously think of parting

me from one cent of my money you're very 
wrong there marchese either pay the price

that those engravings are worth or this time 
they can send you to prison him shut his mouth

one day yours is stanley chubowski 
around i thought perhaps what's that

you boys studying archaeology who are you that's 
a good question where's stan chubowski this is his

house what are you doing here i hope you didn't 
forget our parties game i plan to knock the

daylights out of them this time i can't lose i've 
got an unbeatable strategy do you play parcheesi

no i'm afraid now you want to learn then 
i'm just the man to teach you what's that

hello sonny you want to learn parts easy

now i can teach a championship pinnacle if you 
want say i know the game just your speed old maid

boss should i cut them down 
to size or break your pardon

i have to be the same size i always was but 
i'm busy all right sir busy i'll wait i'll

set up the board in the meantime 
sonny will you get me getting rid

of this madman are you finished what you're 
doing there have you got a light play-doh oh

hold it huh

good work jimmy

that's that

look plato do you want the marquesa to escape

if he gets to his boat before we do we'll never 
see the plates again get dressed and follow me

what's going on

deploy 40 men as fast as possible along the beach

refuel the motorboat and wait for 
the signal to attack that's all

senior plato will need every man you've 
got i wish i could do something for him

but i can't why not the information we 
just received indicates that the marquesa

has summoned his entire bodyguard to cover 
the coast you should send for reinforcement

shouldn't you i already have but there may 
not be time for them to arrive from lisbon

dodo come as fast as you can hurry

surely you know plato needs help i must 
wait till reinforcements have arrived

jimmy yeah wait don't you think there's too 
many of them for you i'll let dodo take half

the gang i can manage the others if there 
are any left over you're welcome to them

oh

all right

just me and you now i hope not you're all 
mistaken aren't you you'd better look again senor

give yourself up samuel plato you don't have 
a chance this time that computerized beetle

won't be able to help you did you hear that dodo 
let's show them everything we know from a to z

oh dodo all stations on offensive alert

let's give him a for annabelle

aim for annabelle

senor if you want the beetle to do a job for 
you ask for it alphabetically alphabetically

what starts with c uh c cook

no not with s with c

cook

liquidate them what am i paying 
you for will you tell me that

bad

thank you no good you're worse than a piggy tom

hey you trying to find me it's not funny you 
stand there giggling like some idiotic bird brain

you go too far stupid

well look who's talking

plato where are we w walrus

i'll teach you a steal

they're hard to get

watch it plato that's more than 
we're getting paid for oh tell him

well the bull fights over 
now that we ran out of [ __ ]

dodo relax

relaxation is for model t's

silva take the plates marquez i don't know what 
they're for keep them safe till i come back

which one of you is plato he's plato

i see you've had some trouble at 
these ruffians should i arrest them

no no actually i prefer you to arrest the 
man responsible for the counterfeiting of

dollar bills before he gets away with 
the plates excuse me inspector may i

and where is this man he's right over 
there but you'll have to run to catch him

you can't prove he's a counterfeiter 
without plates and neither can i arrest him

yeah that's why i wonder sometimes why i 
gave up my profession as a schoolteacher

you refuse to arrest him not just on your 
accusation can't you see he's escaping so what

get it out there's got to be a way of helping him

photo's better at that than we are dodo we need 
help now come as fast as you can engine switch

over to automatic pilot step on it have you seen 
anything of maggie she went off to town to phone

someone to phone someone you mean general service 
no i think it was a priest what priest why should

she talk to a priest she probably needs priest 
to marry her maybe she thinks it's about time

it's about time you learn 
to mind your own business

hello

just mind your own business

please senorita

who are you silva look at this plate do you know 
how much money it's worth twenty thousand dollars

if you're smart you'll give it to 
me before the police discover it

what will they give me for the 
plates no more than ten years

dodo it's skimming right over the 
water it won't be too hard stop

oh

(Soft Music)

ah

come here will ya

come here easy does it now slowly

watch it you'll lose the baggage if 
you're not careful here i come ready

stop dodo let me in hey pull over 
will ya you idiot i beg your pardon

will you stop wait just wait i'm going 
to rip your computer out you'll see

plato plato you've got my hood there stop

oh thank goodness i questioned jimmy about 
marrying you and what did he say he doesn't

sound very convinced yet that phony he sworn 
his word of owner that we'd get married

there

hey plato did you get the plates from the marquisa 
he hasn't got the plates without proof that he's

a counterfeiter he'll go free think of the 
time you wasted that's what i'm afraid of

listen plato would you explain to maggie 
that i want to i've got to follow a lead

and so what you really want to do is skip out no 
not really i plan ahead for the bahamas because

i've heard they've discovered a lot of goals 
so i thought i'd take my chances you know

and how long do you expect to be 
away ah a few weeks just two or three

the bahamas eh the fbscn has recently heard 
rumors of a new counterfeit ring there

let's see now aren't the bahamas in that direction

let's go then what do we do with your prisoner 
we'll set him adrift the boat's almost out of gas

look they're leaving the harbor

oh what a coward not only does he run out on you 
but he talks his friends into going along with him

but he needs his belt to control 
that car and we've got it here

i'll teach him a lesson how 
the dawn thing works for him

so it's bound to work for me as well 
after all i'm the one who designed it

listen dodo you've got to come back 
return to the shore come in for a landing

you know we're headed for sure 
the steering wheel's jammed

just a second where's my belt 
do you mean you left without it

damn that computer now what do we do

look out dodo thieves what what what's going on

it's out of control stop it somehow what 
do you want me to do step on the brakes

very funny

there's a storm coming just stand right there

wait til i get my hands on that... whoa 
if i had hey but you come back here

it's storm under a tornado 
that's a regular hurricane

oh come on do something get to 
stop this going out of control

this seat's busted i can't sit down. oh forget it

there's nothing you can do 
about it just sit back and enjoy it (Laughs) Help!

(Soft Music)