East Side Story (2006) - full transcript

[helicopter whirring,
siren wails]

( male )
Stop right there !

Get over here.

Do you want me
to let you cross the border?

S?, Officer.

l'll do anything to see
my wife and children.

Anything?

Yes, Mr. Border Patrol...

Anything.

We'll, then..

let's just see how good
a cocksucker you are.



But, l'm a married man.

And now you're on my land.

So, if y ou want to stay in
the good ol' United States,

you better start
lickin' my huevos.

[zipper opens]

There you go.

Hmm...
Just lik e that...

Daddy likes that...

There you go...

Nice...

[knocking on door]

- Dieguito?
- Oh, shit!

What's all that noise?
Are you okay?

Hello?
Diego?



You said your grandmother
was a heavy sleeper.

Get the music!

[music plays]

Answer me.
Are you okay?

You're still here?

Pablo and l were
watching a show about--

lllegal immigrants.

lt's really humiliating
the way the border patrol

treat those people.

True, true.

lt's late.

Remember we have
a long day tomorrow.

Well, goodnight, Do?a Sara.

Good night.

[DJ announces in Spanish]

Will you slow down?

Our employees can do that.

You know...

this place is going
to be yours some day.

The thing is l've been
thinking about leaving LA

and maybe opening
my own restaurant.

And what's wrong
with this place?

Abue la...

l went to Culinary Academy.
C'mon.

l know.

l paid for it.

And?

l need to get out of here...

Make a name for myself.

How could you
think of leaving?

There are so many
memories here.

You were toilet trained
in that kitchen.

Your mother and father -
que en paz descansen -

they had their last
meal at that table.

[door opens]

Buenos d?as.
Are y ou open for business?

Pues claro que s?.

Wow...
You look great.

l'll have a beer.

[Ranchero music plays]

You're burning
the enchiladas, idiota.

Where's 56?
l need 56.

56?

Two grilled burritos,
with no beans, no rice,

no guacamole and mild salsa.

What kind of a wimp
ordered that?

And just because
l danced with him,

he kept chasing me
around the club.

Oh, thanks, Diego.

Anyway, this guy from the club
will not leave me alone.

l think he's falling
in love with me--

(Diego )
Who ordered chimichangas,
extra cheese?

Diego, these are my friends -

Xotchil and Jasmine.

- Hi.
- Pleasure to meet you.

Tiffany, table seven needs
a diet Coke and two Millers.

S?, jefe.

Girl, he's so gorgeous.

Did you see his butt?
Did you see how jealous he was?

l swear, he wants me.

House prices in the ne ighborhood
are going through the roof.

Just look at the size
of this room.

lt is the perfect family room.

Your loved ones can gather
around here, play games,

watch TV,
sit by the fireplace...

Perfect.

How many kids
did you say you have?

Just two.
They're twins.

So, what brings you
and your wife

to sunny Southern California.

My wife and l divorced.

Sorry to hear that.

l'm sure y ou'll find
a nice girl though.

You're young, handsome...

in great shape.

Do you work out?

That's from carrying
the kids around.

Do you ever spank your children?

lt depends if they misbehave.

So, you're a stern little papi.

We ll...children need discipline.

Not just children.

ls that right?

That's right...

So...what kind of a place
are you looking for?

l don't care...

As long as it's
far away from here.

l just want to get out
so we can be together.

What about the twins?

Enough of the role playing.

Enough.
l'm talking about us.

We've been together
for over a year.

Don't you want us
to be a couple?

What?
A couple of fags?

l'm okay with that.

Pablo, l don't know
where y ou live.

l haven't met your family--

Diego!

l care about you, but look...

but l need to keep my
personal life low ''pro.''

- l'm getting tired of this.
- We ll, l'm not.

l'll ne v er get tired of y ou,
my stern little papi.

You sure about that?

Yeah, l'm sure.

Sure?

That's what l said.

Okay...you're gonna
hav e to proveit.

You're gonna discipline me?

You don't know what l'd do
to do to you, Mr. Real Estate.

l didn't sell any
houses last week.

l need to be disciplined.

Come on, take it off me.

( Sara )
Diego?

About time -
l was getting worried.

Sorry.

Coffee at this hour?

We have a guest.

( female )
ls that Diego?

Aunt Blanca?

What is she doing here?

What do you think?

Diego...

Hi.

Hey, Blanca.

lt's Bianca.

Remember l changed my name?

Blanca just sounded so barrio.

So did you guys notice?
l've lost ten pounds.

You look great.

Honey, are you sure you
want coffee at this hour?

lt's almost midnight.

Yes, mami, but it's eight
in the morning in France.

l'm still on Monaco time.

l'm going to bed--

No! Wait!
l got gifts !

''Monaco time?''

While you and l slave away
at the restaurant?

Monaco time?

How much money
does she want this time?

l'll tell you
after l see the gifts.

Ah, it's beautiful.

Tada !

All French women wear scarves.

Gracias.

Oh, my God, mami !

You look like
Princess Caroline.

Ten thousand.

And these are for you !

l got them in Munich.

Aren't those for girls?

Well...

l'm so tired from Cannes.

Did l tell you?

l am working
as a party planner.

lt is so much fun.

Although European royalty
can be so boring.

And so expensive.

Remember Count Von Bisquit?

Von Bismark.

Do y ou know that
if wasn't for me

he would have never
regained his castle?

You did it
at your mother's expense.

lt cost her $ 2 0,000.

Don't remind me.

Why did y ou have to tell him?

Do you think l'm blind, Bianca?

Your mother and l work our
asses off at the restaurant

so you can go parading around--

Diego, por favor.

Baby, no.

You're too good
for that gigolo.

That's the truth.

l tried so hard
to make that work.

l gave him two years of my life.

And $ 20,000.

l promise y ou
you'll get through this.

You have your family.
And we love you.

Right, Diego?

Right.

[Latin music pla ys]

( male )
Dear Editor of El D?a:

l ha v e liv ed in this
neighborhood since 1954.

This neighborhood has been
my home and my refuge.

And now white homos
are snatching up our houses,

hiking up our property taxes
and forcing us

poor Latinos out
of our own homes.

l warn y ou:
lf we don't put a stop

to these degenerates,
we'll wind up

doing their y ards and
cleaning their houses.

We must get rid of this
before they take what is -

and shall continue to be -
our precious neighborhood.

Sincerely,

Rogelio Armando Robles.

Good boy, Bimbo.

Good boy!

Hey, l saw that!

Pick it up!

How would y ou like it if l took
a shit in front of your house?

Sorry.
Me no speak English.

Well, in that case,

Go fuck yourself and your dog !

You go fuck yourself,
you faggot!

Fuck you, you old Mexican !

- What the hell is going on?
- Look at that!

A dog took a shit!
So what?

His dog !
Call the police !

And tell them what?

ln West Hollywood
you can get arrested

for not curbing your dog !

Jonathan, this is not
West Hollywood.

Think of it as fertilizer.

Just pick up the mess !

l'm calling the cops.

This is a pretty strong letter,
Don Rogelio.

Gays are people too.

The hell they are.

Speed it up, we open in five.

Whatever you say, my jefecito.

[door opens]

l'm sorry, you have to leave.

We're not open yet.

Relax, honey.
l own this place.

Did you see the letter
one of our employees wrote?

l don't have time.

Well, you better make time.

Who's that talking to Diego?

That's his Aunt Blanca.

Blanca...

what the hell have you
done to your eyes?

They're blue !

Don't you talk to me, you bigot.

We can't let those
homos move here.

They set a bad example
to our community.

And alcoholic, womanizing men
like you, don't?

We need to pray for them.

Yes, pray that they
burn in he ll !

How can you say that?
You idiot!

Can't you see
that my nephew is gay?

Let go of me !
Let go!

You know what?

- You should be thanking me.
- That was my secret!

How would you like
it if l told them

you've been in an orgy?

A four-way is not an orgy!

And besides,
what's wrong with being gay?

Are you kidding?

How can you even
be asking me that -

in this neighborhood?

- Oh, screw them.
- You probably have.

That's it!
l'm out of here !

Go ahead !

Run !
lt's what you always do.

You come here, stir the shit up,
and l get stuck with the mess !

You sure he never
tried to touch you?

Tiffany, are your tables set?

What's today's special?

Queer-sadillas !

Pablo, l need to talk to you.

Not now!

Diego--

Pablo Morales?

Blanca Campos?

lt's Bianca now.

l have not seen you
since high school.

Looks like you're doing we ll.

Well, l was just voted

Number One Latino Realtor
in Southern California.

Tr?s impressive !

Oui ! Oui !

Well, you must
join me for lunch.

l'm sorry, it's gonna
have to be dinner.

l'm still on Monaco Time.

Get in.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You should have denied it.

Why?

Because you don't want
to be seen with a fag?

l'm trying to protect you.

That's bullshit.

All you care about is yourself
and your reputation.

My reputation
is very important to me.

This is my turf.

And nobody's gonna fuck it up!

You can sell houses anywhere.

We can go wherever you want.
l don't care.

We?
There's no ''we'' here.

How can you say that?

We've been going out
for over a year.

Diego, we hook up
once in a while.

End of story.

That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

And it's over.

After all that
we've been through?

You just can't break up with me.

Pablo...

l love you...

l do.

Listen to you...

You're starting
to sound like a woman.

[doors unlock]

There you are.

l made some enchiladas
for the new neighbors.

You should take them over
before they get cold.

l'll do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow you're taking me
to the airport.

Abue la, l have to talk to you.

l stopped by the restaurant.
Everybody seemed upset.

Are y ou okay?

There's just something
l have to tell you.

Diego...whatever you have
to tell me,

just know that l will
always love you.

Okay?

l'll run the restaurant
while you're on vacation.

But as soon as you get back,
l'm lea ving.

You should take some time off.

Take a month off like l'm doing.

l'm not talking
about a vacation.

l knew this day would come.

l just didn't think
it would be so soon.

Come on, grandma.
l'm almost 30.

You've never lived alone.

You've never had another job.
You don't have any friends--

l'll be fine...

Okay?
l'll be fine.

Well, y ou make sure you
train Bianca while l'm gone

because she's gonna
have to take over.

l'll train her.

The enchiladas are getting cold.

So you're okay?

My flight leaves at seven,
so just make sure...

Don't stay up too late.

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Hi...l'm your neighbor.

Diego Campos.

My grandmother
made some enchiladas.

Thank you.

Wesley Anderson.

- Good to meet you.
- You wanna come in?

Sure.

Sorry, it's a bit of a mess.
We're painting.

lt looks great.

( male )
Wes !

ln a minute.

Can l get you
something to drink?

Water?
Paint thinner?

l didn't know you
sent out for Mexican food.

This is Diego Campos,
our neighbor.

l'm Jonathan Webber,
Wesley's partner.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

So is there a Mrs. Campos?

We ll, my grandmother.

But every one calls her Sara.

l've never been married.

We ll, do you have a girlfriend?

No.

Never been married,
doesn't have a girlfriend,

lives with his grandmother -

The plot thickens.

Do you live
with your parents?

No, my parents died.

l'm sorry.

Was it gang-related?

No, they were killed
by a drunk driver.

An old white guy.

We ll, on that note...
lt was nice to meet you.

Like wise.

l should probably get going.

Thank you very much.

We're having a small get
together this Friday night.

Why don't you stop by?

This Friday?

Okay.

Oh, wait.

l can't.
l have a lot of things to do.

We ll, if y ou stop being busy,
drop by.

lt's a short drive.

Thanks.
Enjoy.

Why aren't you going
to your neighbors' party?

Maybe they can fix you up
with a cute friend.

l don't want to meet anybody.
l'm leaving in a month.

A month?

That's like ten years
in the gay life !

You have plenty of time to meet
someone, move in,

adopt a crack baby--

[doorbell rings]

That's my date.

Please open the door
so l can make my entrance.

What?

Open the fucking door!

(Diego )
l'm not your damn maid !

Pablo!

What's up, man?

Where's Bianca?

You're taking her out?

What's your problem?

She's my Aunt!

You and l...

l'm gonna tell her.

You're not telling her shit.

There's nothing between us.

Diego, l'm straight.

You're kidding, right?

lt was just a phase.
And l'm over it.

The truth of the matter is...

l love pussy.

Paolo, mi caro.

Bianca... ?est?s be ll?s ima !

l made dinner reservations at
a romantic ltalian restaurant.

?Yo adoro lo ltaliano!

Ciao, Diego.

[techno music plays]

Hola !

Ever wonder why kitchens
are the first place

people gravitate to when
they first get to a party?

ls it the warmth?

ls it the chips and salsa?

Or is it the liquor?

l'm Lowell,
Jonathan's boss.

You just grabbed my ass.

Excuse me?

You just walked up to me
and grabbed my ass.

Oh, lighten up.

lt's just a party.

Hey, you made it.

lf you don't mind me asking,

how long have you
and Jonathan been together?

Two years.

Where did y ou guys meet?

At a White Party.

Oh, like the one inside?

No.

At a circuit parties where
everybody wears white.

Jonathan was wearing
these blue overalls.

He looked so cute.

He'd just gotten off the bus.

From where?

Pascagula, Mississippi.

The Cabbage Capital
of the World.

So, is this, like,
your first relationship?

You ask a lot of questions.

l know.
l'm sorry--

So, how come
you're still unattached?

l've been...seeing someone
for the last year.

You should have
brought...him.

lt's a him, right?

Yeah...

Yeah, it's a him.

Thing is we broke up though.

But l'm cool about it.

He and l didn't
have much in common.

We...liked different things.

He liked cats.

Wesley!

Don't forget there's
a party going on inside.

Come on, let's head back.

l can't.

l have an early day tomorrow.

lt was nice talking to y ou.

You too.

Thanks for the water.

You were supposed to be
at the restaurant this morning.

l'm sorry.
loverslept.

lt's the jetlag.
ls dinner ready?

- You mean, breakfast?
- Breakfast?

Yeah, aren't you
still on Monaco time?

Rosas !

Pablo is such a gentleman.

l don't want to jinx it,

but l think l've
found ''the one.''

Shut the hell up!

You'v e gone out with him once.

Diego, when it's right,
you just know.

Did you ask him
about his last relationship?

He's never been married,
you know.

So?
Neither have l.

There's something you should
know about him.

l've, uh...

l've heard...he's been
with other men.

We ll, big fuckin' deal !

l'v e been with women.

A Swedish model -
lngegerd.

But please, don't you tell mami.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, my God !

Look at me !
What if it's him?

- Go get it.
- l don't want to get it.

This is horseshit.

- Wesley.
- Hey.

Buenas noches.

Come in.

This is great.

Tell your grandmother:
Muy buenas enchiladas.

Absolutely.

- Would you like some wine?
- No, thanks.

Beer, scotch, tequila...

You name it,
we've got it.

l don't drink alcohol.

Okay--

No, no.

Old picture.
Don't have my front teeth.

Why don't you
join me for dinner?

l don't want to impose.

You're not imposing.

l know you weren't expecting me.

No, stay.
lt's no bother.

You sure l won't be a bother?

(Bianca )
Oh, stay already.

Who's that?

That's my crazy aunt.

We keep her locked up.

lt's my dream restaurant.

l've been working
on it for years.

So if you laugh, l'll kill you.

Come on, let's see it.

Let me show you the menu.

Wow!

You're really talented.

Have you shown
this to investors?

No, nobody's seen it but you.

l'm...opening my own restaurant.

Give me five years.

Five years?
Why wait?

You have the menu, the design -
you obviously have the talent.

There are plenty of locations.

l'll help you find
the perfect place.

l'm moving to Phoenix
in a month.

You're leaving?

Yeah.

l figure l'd work my way
up at a five-star restaurant.

Just see where it goes.

We're gonna miss you.

You know what?

l've finally got the
courage to get out,

to...be ''out''.

lt's just something
l could never do here.

Have you tried?

And here's the dessert menu.

Diego, what are they
gonna do?

Stone you to death?

Look at me.

l'm openly gay
and l'm still standing.

Stick around.

Are you guys okay?

Diego, please cover for me.
l'll be right back.

Hey, where are you going?

Tiffany!

Mesero!
Hello?

Are you guys ready to order?

We ordered 20 minutes ago.

Where's our food?

Let me check.
l'll be right back.

Thank you.

Where's table six?

l need table six.

Here you go.
Enjoy your food.

lf y ou need anything at all
just let me know.

Ah, look at y ou.
Go clear that table.

l can't.

Why?
Are you flaking out again?

Come on, we're late.

S?, mi amor.

Wish me luck.

Hurry it up.

l don't want you
smelling of grease.

Diego, l want you to meet
Mr. Mart?nez and Mr. Gonz?lez.

- Diego.
- Hi.

They're friends from church.

They used to be homosexuals
just like you !

Right guys?

Right.
But look at us now.

See?
lt works !

You can change too!

They want to talk to you
about conversion therapy.

Because being gay in East LA?

No way!

Wrong briefcase.

Waiter!

Hi !
How's your dinner?

We ordered
the grilled camarones.

What's this?

The kitchen
made a mistake.

l'll fix it for you -
on the house.

Two orders of grilled shrimp.

Don't you understand English?

Salvador!

? ldiota !
?Ap?rate con esas fajitas !

Hey!
l'm talking to you !

l'm busy,
l'm working.

Salvador, pass me the chile.

l want those plates...

Now!

You heard the chief.

That's it.
Get out of here.

l don't need you.
Get out.

And who's gonna cook?

l will if l have to.

That's right.
l forgot.

You went to study
at the culo-nary academy.

You're fired !

What's the matter, chief?

Can't you take a joke?

Get the fuck
out of my restaurant!

Fuck you and your restaurant!

l'm a very good cook!

l can get work anywhere !

Salvador!

Finish the enchiladas
and grill two orders of shrimp!

Salvador!
Don't listen to him !

Now!
Go!

Shit!
He's having a heart attack.

He's trying to say something.

Get away from me, you faggot!

Table for one, por favor.

Can't you read?

This restaurant is closed.

Sorry.

l guess that's
what 'cerrado' means.

No, no, wait.
Wesley!

No, stay!

Can't you see
he's up to no good?

He's gonna lead y ou
down the wrong path !

Don't waste your time.

- Thanks for the ride.
- Absolutely.

Wait.
Are you busy Saturday?

No, not really.

Why?

lt's my birthday.

l'm gonna have
a few people over.

So, do you have a birthday wish?

A death wish is more lik e it.

You're an hour late !

Hi, Jonathan.

Don't tell me it
took you two hours

to find a location
for an AA meeting.

He's a recovering alcoholic,
you know.

l'm celebrating
seven years next month.

Come on.
We're late.

We have to find a caterer
for your party Saturday.

l'll cater your party.

Saturday is Wesley's birthday,
not Cinco de Mayo.

You would?

Absolutely, l'd love that.
lt'd be fun.

Okay.

Okay...
l'll see you then.

Take it easy, Jonathan.

Bye.

You okay with that?

lt's your fucking party.

lf you want pi?atas !

What time is your
date coming over?

Uh...eight.

Pablo has not called me all day.

l hope he didn't forget.

Of course he wouldn't forget.

He's a standup guy...
lsn't he?

- Table looks great.
- You really think so?

l don't want to disappoint him.

Hey.

Get in.
l want to talk to you.

What do you want?

Let's you and l
go for a ride, okay?

You're gonna stand up my aunt?

l'll te ll her something came up.

You motherfucker.

You're fucking unbelievable,
you know that.

She's falling in love with you,

and you're just gonna
break her heart.

Well, guess what?

lf you don't tell her
about us, l will.

We ll, go ahead.

She won't believe you.

We'll see.

Jonathan?

No, thanks.
l'm staying away from the carbs.

l'll have some.

Hasn't he been a great help?

Prompt.
Efficient.

He even brought his own food.

l'll have another.

Hey, why don't you
get it yourself?

Diego's off the clock.
Sit down, relax.

- You sure?
- Absolutely.

Come on, just one more round.

You heard the birthday boy.

Good help is so hard to find.

Pretty soon the y'll be
having us do our own lawns.

He y, how about you start
opening up your gifts?

Happy Birthday.

lt's not a knock off, you know.

lt's for our getaway to Maui.

Jonathan, l told you
l can't go--

Okay, okay.
l'll go get the cake...

since the help is off the clock.

Here.

l almost forgot.

Gracias.

l'm not a very good wrapper.

Turn it around.

l had your name
and birthday engraved on it.

lt's really nice.

Here.
Try it on.

Do you mind?

Silv er is really cheap
in Tijuana.

And so is good sex.

l would like to make a toast.

To Wes,

my partner and the love
of my life.

Cheers !
Happy Birthday.

( all)
Salud.

And let's toast Dennis and Dan

for having their house
offer accepted.

Now that so many of us are
moving here, we need to unite.

Let's start a petition,
and bring some gay pride

to this neighborhood.

That's so ''Norma Rae'' of you,
Jonathan.

Well, someone has
to take charge.

We need to clean up the area -

get rid of the riff raff.

You've seen how
these people live--

Jonathan, get the cake.

(Diego )
And don't forget the plates.

What did y ou just say?

You heard me.

And get the fork s
while you're at it, too.

Hey!

Why don't we all go to the
kitchen and cut the cake.

l'm not moving.

Fine.
l'll get the cake.

No.
Sit down.

lt's your birthday.
l'll get it.

This is my goddamn house !
And l will get the cake !

You seem a little tipsy.

Sure you don't
want me to get it?

You fucking little--

- ? Qu? pas?, cabr?n?
- Guys, come on !

l say we have a wresting
match to see who gets...

the cake.

Diego!
Wait up.

How much do l owe
you for the food?

Don't worry about it.

- Happy Birthday.
- Thank s.

Let me help you
carry this home.

l'm not going home.

Look, l'm sorry.

l know that when my friends
all get together--

Your friends aren't the problem.

l know.

Don't pay any
attention to Jonathan.

He just had too much to drink.

He's under a lot of stress -

especially after
buy ing the house.

lt's cool.
l get it.

Good.
l'm glad you understand.

Of course l do.

You're stuck
and you can't get out.

That was an excellent meal,
mi amor.

All homemade.

Even the tortillas.

Mi amor, t? sabes,
que est?s bien sexy...

but l want to respect you.

Pablo...

l appreciate you being
such a caballero,

but l would not be
offended if you wanted

to take things
a little bit further.

What...are you doing?

l want to please you...

l want to drive you crazy!

No, Bianca.
Stop.

Oh, l get it.

You want me to beg
for it, don't you?

Ah, Se?or.
Please let me suck you off.

Me so hungry.

No!
Don't...

Oh, look who's waking up...

And it's not a flauta --
it's a burrito!

l'll do anything, officer.

Just don't send me
back to Me xico.

Pablo, are you here illegally?

No, no!

Just don't hurt
my wife and kids.

What wife and kids?

Shut up!

Just give it to me...

That's it...

You know, if you're here
illegally, l know this great--

Just play along !

Ah...

Oh...

Wes, this is Adam and Steve.

They're friends
of Dennis and Dan.

- Hello.
- Shalom.

You guys look around.
l'll be right with you.

- Kitchen.
- Yes.

l found us some buyers.

lf we play our cards right,
we can make a $ 30,000 profit.

l want to talk to you
about the house.

This is not a house -
it's an investment.

And the real estate market
is really hot right now.

We just got here.
l'm not ready to move.

You're just being sentimental,
this being our first home.

We clearly don't be long here.

You guys, the master bedroom
is to your left.

Jonathan, l like it here.

Of course you do.

You're not the one
who's being threatened.

l don't feel safe here.
None of our neighbors lik e me.

Haven't you noticed
they don't like gay men?

There are plenty of gay
men in this neighborhood.

You're not even trying.

You don't know what it's like
to grow up in a trailer park,

eating Spam, fighting bullies.

l'm not going
through that again.

So what do you guys think?
lsn't it fabulous?

- lt's super fabulous.
- lt's superduper fabulous.

- How are the schools?
- Are they safe?

We're adopting
a little Chinese girl.

Little Ling-Ling.

[sound of TV]

Hola.
? C?mo est?n?

Buenas.

Me dicen cuando estan listo.

Cerrado?

No, we're open.
How can l help you?

l never got to thank you
for my gift.

Don't worry about it.

Ah, isn't that sweet?

What did he say?

He wanted to know
if we delivered.

This food is delicious.

Why isn't it on the menu?

Nouvelle cuisine in T?o Pepe's?

We'd go broke.

You underestimate
your clientele.

Good food is good food.

lt's the kind of food
l'll be serving

when l open my
restaurant in Phoenix.

You still thinking of moving?

Of course l am.
Why wouldn't l?

l'd reconsider leaving
if l were you.

l heard the word Phoenix means
''bash me'' in Native American.

''Bash me''
in Native American, huh?

Yeah.

Wesley, why don't you
just come out and say it?

What?

You don't want me to go.

Do you?

l don't think you do.

We gotta slow down.

You okay?

Yeah, it's just--

l've never done this before...

Not while l'm
with another person.

Sure.

- Don't get me wrong.
- l understand.

l want this as much as you do...

but l need to be
honest with everyone.

Right.

l better get going.

Okay.

Well, good night.

Good night.

No, this isn't...

this isn't--

l'm sorry...
l can't do this.

l gotta go.

Honey, are you okay?

Yeah, of course l am, baby.

- You sure?
- l'm fine.

l want y ou to make you
feel really good.

Yeah?

l know something
y ou're really going to love.

Bianca...

l don't know--

What's wrong?

l don't want it to be lik e this.
l want it to be special.

lt's already special.

No, B ianca.

?No!
?Por favor!

You know what?

l give up!

We'v e been dating
for almost a month

and you still don't
want to fuck me.

Bianca, l like you.

l just don't want to do it here.

Why not?
This is a luxury car!

What l'm trying
to say is that...

l want our first time
to be really special.

Oh, my God...

You mean?

That's why l'm taking my time.

l want to make sure
that you're the one.

''The One?''

S?, mi amor.

Oh, my God.
l am so sorry.

And here l am acting like
a cheap little slut.

l'm so sorry...

Will you ever forgive me?

We ll, l'll think about it...

S?, mi amor, te perdono.

Ay, l'm sorry, papi.

lf we're gonna plan
our future together,

we have to learn
to all get along.

We?

Well, since your mother is
coming back from Me xico,

l thought it was about
time you met my family.

Oh, mi amor.
l love you.

Of course l want
to sell this house.

l just need to talk to Wesley.

l'll do it tonight, l promise.

Okay.
Bye.

Wesley, why is the door open?

Wes?

Where are you?

Wes?

Oh, God !

Oh, my God !

Please !
Just take whatever you want.

Please don't hurt me.

You can have this -
it's a Rolex!

[men giggling]

(Wesley )
l'm thinking of adding a deck.

You have done
such an incredible job!

What are these
people doing here? !

These are my new buddies.

l'm starting a gay
AA meeting in the house.

Does anybody want some cake?

lt's homemade.

Everyone, this is Jonathan.

Hi, Jonathan !

We need to talk.
Now!

l'm Luis,
and l'm an alcoholic.

( all)
Hi, Luis !

(Wesley )
l told you -
l'm not selling this house !

(Jonathan )
Then it's over between
us, because l hate it here.

This is my 20th day
without drugs,

alcohol, crack, poppers--

(Jonathan )
Damn right l'm going !

l'm not gonna stay
in a house full of cholos !

Cholos?
l am gonna slap that bitch !

Girl, you better work
on that resentment.

(Wesley )
Have a good fucking life ! !

(Jonathan )
Give me my bag !

Take it!
lt's a fucking knock off!

?Dios m?o!
?Esto es te leno ve la !

Adi?s !

[door slams]

''She'' didn't even
give me her Rolex.

M'hija, it was
probably a fake...

just like her hair.
She's all stupid.

Shit, l need a drink.

?Salud !

As soon as Pablito
told me about you,

l come to fly out
to visit you and meet you.

Hey!

l didn't spend $ 8,000
on liposuction

just to see you fat again !

So, you like to cook?

Of course she does.

Can't you see
they own a restaurant?

l learned from the best,
right mami?

Do?a Sara, more wine?

Please !

Mr. and Mrs. Morales,
have you met my grandson, Diego?

- No.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

You didn't mention you had
such a handsome nephew.

Pablo and Dieguito have been
very close friends for years.

They have?

How come you didn't
invite them to go hunting?

ln Texas, we love our guns !

Sounds great.

You and l would
enjo y play ing hunters.

Do?a Sara,
what's happened to this place?

There's no business anymore.

That's what l'd like to know.

[scream of joy]

?S?, mi amor!

lt's about time, my son !

l was beginning
to worry about you !

What do you think, mami?

l'm speechless.

l guess that means
l'm gonna be your uncle,

and you're gonna
be my little nephew.

This is so exciting !

You're gonna have
to help me plan the wedding.

l'm moving to Phoenix.

No, Diego, you can't leave
because l need a best man.

Did you hear that?

He wants Diego
to be the best man !

l've made plans -
l'm leaving.

And l'm going to put Diego
in charge of the bachelor party.

l've been to a few of those.

They can get so wild !

l say we do it in Vegas.

Oh, my God !

l don't want to know what you
two are going to do over there.

To the happy couple !

?Aver un traguito!

Bianca, it's me again !

l need to talk to you.
Please call me.

Diego Campos,
t? eres el hombre de mivida.

That means
you're the man of my dreams.

l'm really busy.
l'm really tired.

You don't know
what kind of day l've had.

l want to talk to you.

Why?
Shouldn't you be home?

ln bed?
With your boyfriend?

lsn't that what boyfriends do?

Jonathan and l broke up.

Right, right.

You guys have been
together for two years,

you bought a house -

and you expect me
to believe that it's over?

Are you kidding me?

S?.

Get out of here.

No, no quiero.

l don't have time
for Spanish lessons.

l'm incredibly busy.
l have--

Stop that!
What are you doing?

l need to get organized.

l need to get a U-Haul.
l need to finish packing.

l need to get masking tape.
Do you have any idea

how hard it is to get
masking tape in LA?

lt's really hard.

This fee ls really good.

You say that
like it's a bad thing.

lt is.

You're the first person
l can be honest with -

just be myself.

l don't want to get involved.

l don't.

At the rate we're going,

the U-Haul is going from my
house right into your drive way.

l'll help you unpack.

l'm leaving in a week.

And that's final.

l know.

A week...

That means l have 168 hours
to change your mind.

168 hours?

You figured that out--

That was quick, wasn't it?

lt was quick.

lt's cold.

( male )
Are you sure about this?

l'm not moving until l leave
with what l came with.

Your dignity?
Too late.

Wesley!

Oh, him.
Definitely too late.

The hell it is !

Well, are y ou
gonna help me or what?

[honking horn]

Ahem.

?Abue la !

Hi, grandma.
What are you doing here?

l own this place...

l think.

Sorry.

l worked really late last night.

And had a visitor.

l didn't think you'd approve.

Ay, Diego, por favor...

What other choice do l have?

You're my only grandson
and l love you.

l just didn't think you were
with the right person.

You mean,
your future son-in-law?

What's happened around here?

l'm gone for a month,
the chef dies,

the restaurant is bankrupt,

your ex-boyfriend is now
engaged to my daughter,

and l find you in
bed with the gringo

from across the street!

You know, we talked about
you running the restaurant,

but l think it's best we sell.

You want to sell this place?

Well, l don't want to run it,

and your heart
is somewhere else.

This way, you can go
and make it on your own,

be a famous chef,

open your fancy restaurant.

What's wrong?
lsn't that what you wanted?

(Wesley )
Good morning.

Good morning.

l'm Wesley.

You must be Mrs. Campos,
Diego's grandmother.

Wesley.
Very nice to meet you.

Call me Sara.

How was Mexico?

Guadalajara is beautiful.

l've decided to retire there.

You have?

Yeah.

When?

ln about two weeks.

There's no reason
for me to stay here -

especially now
that Diego is leaving.

Pablo could se ll this place.

He y, you better talk
to Bianca about her fianc?.

l've tried.

l've left
over four messages.

Ay, she'll never learn.

Don't l look like a princess?

l fucked Pablo.

Excuse me?

Pablo and l have been
screwin' around for over a year.

Cut it out.
That's not funny.

l'm serious.

You're lying.
Pablo wants to marry me.

We're having children together.

l didn't want to tell y ou.
Trust me, l didn't.

lt's true.

Ask Pablo.

l get it.
This is a joke, right?

Where is he?

Pablo come out here.

Come out wherever you are.

Bianca !
Pablo is never coming out.

You're making all this up.

No, l'm not.
l wish l were, but l'm not.

Okay...
describe his penis.

Fat, uncut,
with a dark beauty mark--

[loud scream]

Jonathan...

Jonathan !

Are you okay?

Did you see who did it?

l ran out
because l heard noises...

They ganged up on me...

they held me down...

Did they?

Worse...they...

Oh, my God.

l'm so scared...

Pablo!
You better call me.

Now!

- ls that the dress you want?
- The wedding is off!

l am serious,
you fucking cocksucker!

l am leaving
and l'm never coming back.

Your Dieguito
can tell you what happened.

Oh, good.
You told her!

You knew?

You guys are sick.

No!
You stay away from me !

What's wrong with me?

Why can't l find lov e
just like everyone else?

l am beautiful,
l am funny,

l'm a great cook...

l give great head !

?Ay, Bianca !
?Por favor!

You never loved me.

You've always
preferred your grandson.

- El mariconcito.
- No!

Let's talk about this
like a family.

Like a family?
What a joke !

No!
Don't go!

Let's talk about this !

Please !
l'm sorry l didn't tell you !

Bianca !

Hi. lt's me...

Diego...
Your nephew...

El mariconcito.

Listen, l'm thinking
of stay ing in LA.

And l think you should come back
and, you know...

help me run the restaurant,
if you want...

Okay, call me.

Run the restaurant?

We've had no customers
since Don Rogelio died.

Ay, con candles y todo.
Qu? romantic.

ls that for us?

lt's for me
and my boyfriend.

l have a date.

l guess conversion therapy
never works.

Don't say that.

lt worked for Mr. Mart?nez
and Mr. Gonz?les.

Not really.

l heard they left their wives
and ran away together.

They're opening up
a bed and breakfast...

in Ensenada.

Come on, don't cry.

Sounds like they're happy.

Maybe.

l just wish you and l would have
been happy together.

(Wesley )
l'm sorry.

l can come back later.

No, it's okay.

l was just leaving.

Good luck.

lf you hurt him,
l will kill you.

Guess what?

l've been thinking about it...

and l don't want to move
to Phoenix anymore.

l'm staying.

You are?

Yeah.

lsn't that what we
discussed 12 hours,

10 minutes
and 2 seconds ago?

Diego, we need to talk.

Oh, shit.

What's wrong?

Am l moving too fast?

Maybe l should have warned you -

Latinos, we don't mess around.
When we fall, we fall.

l don't know if y ou'v e heard,

but last night our
house was vandalized

and poor Jonathan
was attacked, beaten up.

What was he doing there?

You said y ou guys broke up.

- You lied to me?
- No.

We had broken up...

So, y ou're back together?

You don't understand.

There's a lot of history
between Jonathan and me.

l do understand.

l was just the flavor
of the week - right?

That's not true.

You went South of the Border,
sampled the menu, liked it...

but now you're back
to your comfort food.

You are so special to me--

No.
Stop.

You do not get to dump me
and still be the nice guy.

Diego, l--

Go!

Just go!

Get the fuck out of here !

Remind whoever buys
the restaurant

that the fridge is brand new.

So make sure you
charge them extra.

l'm gonna miss you.

What's wrong with you?

You're making the right choice.
You're getting out of here.

l'm the one
who should be crying.

l know.

l'm going to move Phoenix,
l'm gonna work hard...

make it on my own.

That's right.
That's the spirit.

But if things don't work out,
you can come live with me.

l have this beautiful
house in Guadalajara.

l have this room
that overlooks the Plaza.

lt's a guest bedroom
just for you.

l'm gonna paint it blue.

You come and stay with me.
Okay?

Let's go.

But anytime,
you come and visit me.

Hello.

How was Europe?

Europe?

Honey, l ran out
of cab fare in Riverside.

What are y ou doing here?

What do you mean?

You left me a message
begging me to come back

and help you run the restaurant.

Things have changed.

We need to sell.
We're broke.

Well, l don't think
we should sell.

With all the gays
moving into town,

this is becoming a very
fashionable neighborhood.

l say that we fix up the place,
change the menu,

double the prices, of course...

You can be the chef
and l'll be the hostess.

l told you
l'm leaving L.A.

lt would just be
for a couple of months.

Forget it...
l won't be here.

We can mak e tons of money
and have so much fun !

You'll be the hottest
chef in town !

Oh, my God -
and so popular with the boys.

Can you hear me?

l'm leaving.

All right?

l already made plans.

You can't go.
You have to stay.

l don't have to do anything -
for anyone.

Diego, please...

l have nowhere to go.

All right...

Let's just say
that l was to help you...

just for a couple of months.
All right?

We need money.

Where are we gonna find that?

Everything is gonna work out.

Somos familia.

l even figured out
a way to forgive Pablo.

l'll kill that bitch !

Shit!

l don't believe this !

l'll fuckin' kill this bitch !

Wes, honey,
you better get dressed.

Adam and Steve
are going to be here soon.

Or is it Steve and Adam?
The top usually goes first.

l called them
and told them the deal is off.

l'm not selling.

Oh, come on.
Not again.

l'm not moving.

Well, l am.

Then go.

You're gonna have to buy me out.

Whatever you want.

And l'm warning you,
it's gonna cost you.

Real estate prices have gone up,
which means...

which means
we did something right.

l better start packing.

Jonathan...

Don't forget this.

l found it in your car.

Not bad for a Tuesday night.

Not bad at all, Mr. Chef.

Hello, l'm Marisol.
And l ordered some food to go.

l'll be right with you.

Another bottle of Pinot Noir
for table five.

Right away, Miss Campos.

Call me Blanca.

Hey, what's taking so long?

l'm so sorry, papi.
lt's coming.

How much do l owe you?

lt's on the house.

Bon appetit.

That's sweet.

They're giving
it to us for free.

Let's just go.

Listen, l know you want to move,

but would you consider
staying a little longer?

We're doing so well -
l don't want to jinx it.

l'll be right there...

Just think about it.
Please.

Felicidades, se?or chef.

Hi.

l wanted to go
to the restaurant,

but l wasn't sure y ou
were ready to see me yet.

Staying?

For now.
Yeah.

Here.

A silver bracelet.

How original.

Turn it around.
l had your name engraved on it.

lt has a date on it.

That's not my birthday.

lt's the first time
we made love...

And hopefully not the last.

l guess we'll see...

Won't we?