Dying Is Easy (2021) - full transcript

Aaron Schoenke and the team at Bat in the Sun return to the world of Gotham City for their latest Batman fan film, Batman: Dying is Easy. Previously making the excellent Batman: City of Scars, their Batman, Kevin Porter, is back and taking on Schoenke's Joker yet again, with Michael Madsen co-starring as Detective Bullock, who reveals to Batman that The Joker is dying in Arkham Asylum and is demanding to speak to Batman. There is a slew of cameos from other Batman rogues and it looks incredible, especially the costumes and sets with Kevin Porter being essentially the Arkham Asylum style Batman and even doing a great job at emulating the vocal stylings of Kevin Conroy. Check out the film below and definitely check out the other Bat in the Sun projects, including their Super Power Beat Down pop culture fight series and Ninjak vs The Valiant Universe.

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[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Batmobile engine roars]

[Music]

[Sirens in the distance]

[TV Reporter]: Still there are no leads on the three

[TV Reporter]: missing police officers. The commissioner

[TV Reporter]: had this to say.
[Commissioner Gordon]: I got the best people

[Commissoner Gordon]: working on it, but the trail's run cold

[TV Reporter]: The district attorney has launched
[Thug]: Pigs.



[TV Reporter]: multiple investigations with no results.

[TV Reporter]: Every night this week, gotham citizens have

[TV Reporter]: taken to the streets of the candlelight

[TV Reporter]: vigil in hopes they will find them.

[Gun cocks]

TV Reporter: please contact
[Sounds of pain and breaking things]
[Thug]: Holy shit!

[Mad Hatter]: An uninvited guest. Ha! Ha! Ha!

[Batman]: You enjoy stealing innocence.

[Batman]: You get off on it.

[Mad Hatter]: Ha! Ha! After chocolate and cream cake,

the girls--

my Alices--

seem to enjoy it.

[Batman]: Never again.
[Mad Hatter screams in pain]



Oh! Oh!

Please don't leave me here!

[Girl Sobbing]: Please! Please!

[Girl cries]

[Voice on Radio]: Bullock. You're needed for a briefing.
[Bullock]: Hey, give me a minute, wouldya?
[Voice on Radio]: Confirmed.

[Batman]: Bullock. What do you want?

H.. Hey! You showed up how's it hanging there, Bats?

[Batman]: I don't have any time for your

lack of candor Bullock. Talk.

You think I enjoy coming up here in the

middle of the night...

raising my butt off...

just because Gordon's in the hospital?

I got real cases. I got actual things to

do. Three of my men are missing and...

...you know what?

I'm gonna find out where they are

one way or another.

[Bullock]: I don't really have a lot of

extra time...

to babysit...

the freak...

in a... in a... cape,

flying around the city, pretending to be

a superhero.
[Makes swooshing sounds]

You know, just because gordon respects

you doesn't mean i have to, right?

[Batman]: That goes both ways.

Listen--you know what?

I have some good news for you:

The pasty face clown...

is.. uh.. dying.

Anything else?

Well.. uh.. he's demanding to see you, of

course.

I mean, you guys

spent most of your life together, right?

I thought maybe you'd be excited--there'd be a

little celebration from your side of

things.

Well, as far as i'm concerned

one of you madness dwellers

is getting exactly what you deserve.

Death of the Joker is nothing to celebrate.

All i'm sayin

is that

somebody should have pulled the trigger

on him

a long time ago.
[Batman]: But you're the one with

a gun

and a license to kill.

Yeah

well don't tempt me there Bats.
[Batman]: Yeah, do it

and you'll see exactly how deep this

well of madness can run.

[Voice on Radio]: Bullock, we're still waiting on you.

Excuse me.

Listen, I thought I told you to give me a

minute.

Anyway...
Geez, where the Hell?
Hey, Bats!

[Music]

Hugo.

I'm on my way.
Transfer Joker from his

cell to the recreation room.

I see you spoke to Lieutenant Bullock.

I would have reached out to you

personally, but

I have no way of contacting you directly.

As it should be.

[Music]

[Ramblings of mental patients]

Good evening to all. This is Dr. Hugo

Strange.

This announcement is regarding tonight's

schedule

due to a code B27,

dinner and all night activities will be

delayed until further notice.

Mandatory lock down is in effect.
Staff will assemble on 6.

Please be extra cautious.

That is all.

[Music]

We don't need this.

It belongs to you,

but everyone else uses it.

[Music]

Hi, Batsy!
Did you miss me?
I hope you've gotten all

my love letters.

[Music]

Wow, Harle--he walked right past you.

That's another man in Arkham who doesn't

respect you.
[Harley Quinn yelling]: Shut up, Ivy!

[Sounds of asylum in background]

Easy now, there...

Watch the fingers!

Oooh--kinky!

...I like it.

Just get these off of me.

[Guard]: He's all yours.

[Sounds from TV news]

This moment...

It was supposed to take place on the

Gotham bridge

or the old water reserve

or Jerry's abandoned circus...

televised for millions to see.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

What do you want?

I'm dying.

Melanoma.

Well, I guess that acid bath wasn't too

funny, was it?

The night we first met

With all my close calls...

...skin cancer.

The humor is not lost on me.

I guess dying IS easy.

Yeah, and comedy is hard.
Why am i here?

That's a great question.

I want you

to finish what you started

I want you, Batsy, to kill me--

not the cancer.
Our legacy is too grand

to end with

a whimper.

It must be epic.

It must be gut wrenching.

You have nothing to say?
I just told you

that i'm dying...

This is it--the final confrontation after

all we've been through...

This

is our final soliloquy.

I don't care about our legacy.

You're a coward!

You won't kill me because you're afraid,

not because of some high

moral code or your

one rule.

It's because without me,

you can't justify your own existence.

You're right.

I am afraid.

I'm afraid of myself--

that once I murder I'll like the taste

of it and then I'll kill every single

inmate at Arkham Asylum.

But you need me.

Freeze has Nora.

Poison Ivy has her environmental cause.

Riddler has his puzzles.
But you--

you have nothing

without me.
You become your worst fear

and that's being upstaged by everyone here.

I...

am the king of this asylum!

See my crown?

It sparkles in the bitter glow of

twilight.

See, Batsy?

I am the one thing that you are not.

You've spent your whole life

fighting crime,

night after night.

Dead sidekick after dead sidekick.

And for what..?

You're utterly miserable.

...afraid of the one thing

that could possibly

bring you joy.

See...

I

am completely and genuinely

happy.

I wake up every morning with a great big

smile.

I absolutely love my life,

but you...

you absolutely hate yours.

I've often wondered

where were you

when the boy laid

bleeding out

on the floor in that dusty warehouse?

Where were you?

True, presenting him to me was a stroke

of genius.

Masterful in your story writing

and I have to give the boy credit.

He knew how to sell it.

His firm

muscular body

breaking under the weight

of my lead crowbar.

Do you know

what his last words were?

With his last breath,

what he

said?

He said your name,

over and over again.

I would give anything

to hear the boy scream your name.

One.

Last.

Time.

Oh...

did i hit a nerve?

Ouch.

Well, I digress.

Moving on...

How could we forget our favorite redhead?

So photogenic.

So young.

Do you know I remember most about this

night?

It was her hair.

It smelled like lavender.

[Batman]: I've had enough of this.
[Joker]: Well then, finish it.

Do what everyone wants and just kill

me.

[Batman]: I'm not an executioner.
[Joker]: Just an indirect

one, Batsy.

I can never measure up to your death

toll. Yours is the accumulation of

everyone in this asylum--half the

tombstones in Gotham

are because of you. That's your legacy.
[Batman]: ENOUGH!

How many people would still be alive if

you had died years ago?

Robin would have a little flock of his

own.

And Barbara...

her dreams shattered

like her spine.
HA! HA! HA! HA!

You say that you're king around here,

but all I hear is the same old song and

dance. You're no longer relevant.
When's

the last time that you've been in the

news?

Croc. Ivy. Freeze.

Even condomma king have had their

headlines. What have you done?

Then let me

unveil the curtain, Batsy.

You know those three missing police

officers?

I killed them.

What?

I gutted them

and left them to rot

at O'neill's Toyland.

I can't tell you

how much of a joy it's been

to watch in secret

as Gotham's

torn itself apart.

Oracle, did you get all that?

[Voice over raido]: Loud and clear. O'neill's Toyland.

[Voice over radio]: i'm sending the info to GCPD now.

[Batman]: You're so predictable.

I knew that if I worked you up, you'd

lose your focus.

Worked up?

I'm dying.

Are you?

What are you talking about?

I faked your toxicology report

along with your blood samples.

Look at me.

[Joker]: I'm sick.
[Batman]: I've been poisoning your water

supply for weeks.

I knew that if you thought that you were

dying,

then you'd lay your cards out to try to

impress me.

I discovered that one of Jervis' thugs

had possession of a police baton.

It was registered to one of the missing

police officers.

I found three sets of fingerprints

and one of them was yours.

You lied to me.

You lied when you said you don't care

about me.

But you do.

You spend weeks

planning and preparing this

so we could have another

awe inspiring performance.

I must say, Batsy,

Bravo.

Bravo.

I guess dying isn't easy.

Is that a joke?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

[Maniacal laughter continues]

[Maniacal laughter continues]

[Maniacal laughter continues]

We're about done here, lieutenant.

Alright.

Good job. See you guys downtown tomorrow.

Alright. Take it easy.

So...

you've been playing everyone the whole

time...

me included.

It had to be real.

You think I was

too stupid to sell it?

Those are your words, not mine.

I wish we could have saved the men in

time.

Those men were already dead.

Excuse me, what was that?

What'd you just say?

I said they were already dead.

[Bullock]: You knew they were dead?
[Batman]: Yes.

What was all that about? Why did you do

all that for them?

I didn't do it for them.

I did it for their families.

I had to take away hope

so their families could heal.

It's said that the worst thing to come

out of Pandora's Box

were not the sorrows or the plagues

it was Hope, itself.

Hope's a gamble.

Hope lacks certainty,

and this city knows all too well what

hopelessness and pain can do.

It drives it mad.

Now without hope, maybe the family can

start the healing process and move on.

I can see why Gordon respects you.

I used to think you were too crazy to

deal with,

but I realize now

underneath that halloween costume, guess you're

actually not such a bad guy at all.

What an asshole.

[Music]

Bullock was right calling me a madness

dweller.

Not knowing why or who killed my parents

has left me with this endless open wound--

an abyss that I stare into every night.

It's that lack of closure that's turned

me into this monster...

a monster that I both fear and embrace.

A monster that i call

the Batman.

[Music]

♪ Just laugh away ♪

♪ when you feel askew ♪

♪ laugh out loud ♪

♪ and feel renewed ♪

♪ when teardrops fall and burn like ♪

♪ acid rain, ♪

♪ it helps to act away it and say:♪

♪ so ♪

♪ have a drink ♪

♪ and your choice of smoke ♪

♪ Give us a wink and tell a joke. ♪

♪ Let the clown in you jump out ♪

♪ and medicate ♪

[Music]

♪ the child inside that's anxious to relate. ♪

♪ That's how and why we ♪

♪ justify the sorrow in our hearts. ♪

♪ So laugh away. Yes, laugh away. ♪

♪ just laugh away ♪

♪ the pain. ♪

[Music]

[Music]

♪ When the burden of life seems to break the clown ♪

♪ Find a big a red bow and parade on the town. ♪

♪ That's how and why we ♪

♪ justify the sorrow ♪

♪ in our hearts. So laugh away.♪

♪ Yes, laugh away. ♪

♪ Just love away ♪

♪ and feel a brand new you. ♪

♪ Just laugh away the ♪

♪ pain ♪

[Music]

[Music]

Hmm.

[Music]

Selena.

[Music]

Mmmm...
Meow.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]