Dunked in the Deep (1949) - full transcript

The stooges are tricked into becoming stowaways by their neighbor "Borscht", a spy for an enemy country. Stranded on a freighter on the high seas, they discover that their friend has concealed some stolen microfilm in watermelons they brought aboard for him. After a wild chase, they subdue Borscht and recover the microfilm.

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[♪]

MAN:
Authorities admit that
secret files, recently stolen,

are still missing.

A hot suspect is being sought,

and results are expected
within a very short time.

It is believed that
foreign elements are at work,

since the missing documents
have not been found.

Fools.

They will never find
these documents.

On this film I have record
the secret of those documents

for my country.



[CHUCKLING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Who's there?
STOOGES: Us, your neighbors.

Hello.
Ha-ha-ha!

How do you like it,
Bortch?

But what are you
dressed like this?

We got a job.
We're passing out handbills.

Heh-heh! That's good.

We'll bring you
a sample tonight.

Tonight?
Tonight I will be on the ocean.

My visa has expired.

They are throwing me
out of the country.

I have to go back
to my native land.

That's too bad.



Boys, I want
you should do me a favor.

I'm having too much luggage
to take to the ship.

I want you boys should carry
these melons for me.

In an hour you meet me
at Pier 7.

The boat will be there.
MOE: Okay, pal.

Now we will have
a farewell drink.

Oh, boy, a drink.
Oh, boy.

A little drink, now.

This you will love.
Pre-war.

Ha! Heh-heh!

Good.
Well, here's how.

Ah.

Ah. Whew.
Ah.

[LIQUID POURING]

[CHIRPING]

[CONTINUES CHIRPING]

Pre-war?

The next one.

[SPLUTTERS]

This is Pier 7.
I wonder where Bortch is?

Aw, we're early.

My dogs are barking.
I'm gonna take a rest.

Me too.

MOE:
Me three.

[BOTH GROANING]

[INSECT BUZZING]

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[HISSES]

Want a Brazil nut?

Yeah, I'll take one.

[CRUNCH]

Oh.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

I'll show you
how to do it.

Hold that.

Oh! Oh!

I'm sorry-- Oh!

Why, you imbecile.

MOE:
Why, you...

I'm sorry, Moe.
We didn't mean it.

Why, you...

ALL:
Hi, Bortch!

[SHUSHES]

Come on.

Hello, Bortch.

Hello, boys,
I'm glad you're here.

Come in.
We had a tough time out there.

Yeah.
Hey, pass my blindfold.

I'll fix you up.
Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Oh, boys, wait.
No, no.

I-I'll take the melons,
boys.

Okay.

Easy. There we are.

[INHALES]

Ah, I love
the briny deep.

It does something
to me.

Hey, number four
in the blue book.

BOTH:
♪ We're off to see the sea ♪

♪ To see what we can see-- ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's all this about?

Don't you know? We're known
as the Fish Market Duet.

The Fish Market Duet?

Yeah, we sing
for the halibut.

[ALL LAUGH]

Go on. What's the matter
with you guys?

Clean yourselves up,
here. Come on.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

There you are.

Well, boys.
I, uh--

Guess
we'll be going.

So long, Bortch.

Hey,
the boats moving.

We better
get out of here.

Yeah.

[HORN BLOWING]

It's no use
getting excited.

I got a secret
for you.

I am a stowaway,

and you are stowaways.

[LAUGHS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Hey, what are we
laughing for?

Boy, now we really
got something to eat.

I'm sorry, boys.

I have only enough
for me.

Aw, have a heart
and give us a piece, will you?

I don't have enough.

Now leave me alone.

Don't you understand "Engles"?

I told you,
I don't have enough.

Now shut up.

And I mean shut up.

I'm telling you
for the last time, shut up.

Or I'm going to
beat your head in.

I'll cut your throats
from ear to ear.

And don't bother me
anymore.

Go away somewhere.

I'm starving.

You're keeping me
from eating.

Now let me alone.

And don't interfere
with my appetite.

Leave me alone.
Drop dead.

Now, don't get excited.
Go on and eat.

[CRUNCHES]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]

Good.
[COINS JINGLING]

[CRUNCHING]

BORTCH:
Where did I put my garlic?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey, Bortch.
[BLOWS]

[SNEEZING]

[CHUCKLES]

Right face.

One, two, three, four.
[CONTINUES SNEEZING]

Oh, delicious. If I only had
some whipped cream.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh.

I wish I hadn't eaten
so much of this.

I don't feel so good.

I wish I hadn't eaten
so much, either.

I wish this boat
would stop wobbling.

Oh, softies.
Can't take it, eh?

Ha-ha-ha! I'll eat it.
Don't worry about it. Ha-ha!

[LAUGHS]

Give me the high seas,
give me the salty water.

[MUFFLED]
Oh, boy.

[LAUGHS]

They can't take it.

Oh, no.

[GROANING]

Oh, no.

[SHEMP CONTINUES MOANING]

What's the idea?

Spilling water on me.

Go on, beat it.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[INHALES, EXHALES]

[SPLUTTERS]

[BOTH SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

Suckers.
Let them sleep on hard boxes.

I'll swing myself to sleep. Heh!

Oh.

How do you like that?

[GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS]

[BOTH CONTINUE SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

I made it.

Now for a little
peace and quiet.

[BABBLES]

[SNORING]

[STOOGES SNORING]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[BOTH SNORING]

Oh, what a nice sleep.

Ah! Oh! Oh!

What's the matter with you?
Are you crazy?

[SHEMP SNORING]

Get up.

Come on.
Oh.

Oh, why'd you
wake me up for?

Why didn't you let me sleep, so
I wouldn't know how hungry I am?

He's right.

Hey, why don't we eat
the watermelons?

Come on, let's go.
Come on, boy.

[SNORING]

[CHUCKLES]
Look.

I don't see nothin'.
Oh!

[GROANING]

Oh, what big seeds.

Oh, a prize.

What's this?

Hey, get the other melon.

[CONTINUES SNORING]

Aha. Oh.

No wonder Bortch
acted so mysteriously.

The melons.

That melon is here.

Hi.

MOE:
Bortch is the spy that stole
those government documents.

We'll turn that baby
over to the authorities.

[BORTCH SHUSHES]

Now, you hold this film
for safekeeping

till we do away
with that spy.

That's what you think.
That's what I said.

Hello. Eee!
Run!

Argh!
Give me that film.

BORTCH:
Give me that film.

I've got you now,
you rat.

Let me have it.

That took care of him.
Oof!

Yoo-hoo!

Nyah-nyah.
[GROWLS]

I get you.

Nyah-nyah.

Nyah-nyah.

Nyah-nyah.

Oof!

Oof!

Nyah-nyah.

Why, you. I'll kill you.
Oh-oh-oh.

[SQUISH]

Give me that film.

Give me that film,
or I kill you.

No, no.

You give me that film.

Keep away from me.

Hey, kid.

I'll brain you.

Oh! Oh.

Bull's-eye. Ha-ha!

Why, you...

Do your stuff, baby.

Whoa!

Why, you back-biter.

I'll take you in myself.

Mr. Bortch.

Yes?

There we are.

You got him.
Nice work, Moe.

We'll turn this bird over to
authorities at the first port.

See if we're near land.
Aye, aye, captain.

Oh! Get out of here.

Oh, no, not again.

Land.

Land!

[♪]