Dunked in the Deep (1949) Movie Script

[♪]

MAN:

Authorities admit that

secret files, recently stolen,

are still missing.

A hot suspect is being sought,

and results are expected

within a very short time.

It is believed that

foreign elements are at work,

since the missing documents

have not been found.

Fools.

They will never find

these documents.

On this film I have record

the secret of those documents

for my country.

[CHUCKLING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Who's there?

STOOGES: Us, your neighbors.

Hello.

Ha-ha-ha!

How do you like it,

Bortch?

But what are you

dressed like this?

We got a job.

We're passing out handbills.

Heh-heh! That's good.

We'll bring you

a sample tonight.

Tonight?

Tonight I will be on the ocean.

My visa has expired.

They are throwing me

out of the country.

I have to go back

to my native land.

That's too bad.

Boys, I want

you should do me a favor.

I'm having too much luggage

to take to the ship.

I want you boys should carry

these melons for me.

In an hour you meet me

at Pier 7.

The boat will be there.

MOE: Okay, pal.

Now we will have

a farewell drink.

Oh, boy, a drink.

Oh, boy.

A little drink, now.

This you will love.

Pre-war.

Ha! Heh-heh!

Good.

Well, here's how.

Ah.

Ah. Whew.

Ah.

[LIQUID POURING]

[CHIRPING]

[CONTINUES CHIRPING]

Pre-war?

The next one.

[SPLUTTERS]

This is Pier 7.

I wonder where Bortch is?

Aw, we're early.

My dogs are barking.

I'm gonna take a rest.

Me too.

MOE:

Me three.

[BOTH GROANING]

[INSECT BUZZING]

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[HISSES]

Want a Brazil nut?

Yeah, I'll take one.

[CRUNCH]

Oh.

Wait a minute.

I'll show you

how to do it.

Hold that.

Oh! Oh!

I'm sorry-- Oh!

Why, you imbecile.

MOE:

Why, you...

I'm sorry, Moe.

We didn't mean it.

Why, you...

ALL:

Hi, Bortch!

[SHUSHES]

Come on.

Hello, Bortch.

Hello, boys,

I'm glad you're here.

Come in.

We had a tough time out there.

Yeah.

Hey, pass my blindfold.

I'll fix you up.

Wait a minute.

Oh, boys, wait.

No, no.

I-I'll take the melons,

boys.

Okay.

Easy. There we are.

[INHALES]

Ah, I love

the briny deep.

It does something

to me.

Hey, number four

in the blue book.

BOTH:

♪ We're off to see the sea ♪

♪ To see what we can see-- ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What's all this about?

Don't you know? We're known

as the Fish Market Duet.

The Fish Market Duet?

Yeah, we sing

for the halibut.

[ALL LAUGH]

Go on. What's the matter

with you guys?

Clean yourselves up,

here. Come on.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

There you are.

Well, boys.

I, uh--

Guess

we'll be going.

So long, Bortch.

Hey,

the boats moving.

We better

get out of here.

Yeah.

[HORN BLOWING]

It's no use

getting excited.

I got a secret

for you.

I am a stowaway,

and you are stowaways.

[LAUGHS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Hey, what are we

laughing for?

Boy, now we really

got something to eat.

I'm sorry, boys.

I have only enough

for me.

Aw, have a heart

and give us a piece, will you?

I don't have enough.

Now leave me alone.

Don't you understand "Engles"?

I told you,

I don't have enough.

Now shut up.

And I mean shut up.

I'm telling you

for the last time, shut up.

Or I'm going to

beat your head in.

I'll cut your throats

from ear to ear.

And don't bother me

anymore.

Go away somewhere.

I'm starving.

You're keeping me

from eating.

Now let me alone.

And don't interfere

with my appetite.

Leave me alone.

Drop dead.

Now, don't get excited.

Go on and eat.

[CRUNCHES]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]

Good.

[COINS JINGLING]

[CRUNCHING]

BORTCH:

Where did I put my garlic?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey, Bortch.

[BLOWS]

[SNEEZING]

[CHUCKLES]

Right face.

One, two, three, four.

[CONTINUES SNEEZING]

Oh, delicious. If I only had

some whipped cream.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh.

I wish I hadn't eaten

so much of this.

I don't feel so good.

I wish I hadn't eaten

so much, either.

I wish this boat

would stop wobbling.

Oh, softies.

Can't take it, eh?

Ha-ha-ha! I'll eat it.

Don't worry about it. Ha-ha!

[LAUGHS]

Give me the high seas,

give me the salty water.

[MUFFLED]

Oh, boy.

[LAUGHS]

They can't take it.

Oh, no.

[GROANING]

Oh, no.

[SHEMP CONTINUES MOANING]

What's the idea?

Spilling water on me.

Go on, beat it.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[INHALES, EXHALES]

[SPLUTTERS]

[BOTH SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

Suckers.

Let them sleep on hard boxes.

I'll swing myself to sleep. Heh!

Oh.

How do you like that?

[GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS]

[BOTH CONTINUE SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

I made it.

Now for a little

peace and quiet.

[BABBLES]

[SNORING]

[STOOGES SNORING]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[BOTH SNORING]

Oh, what a nice sleep.

Ah! Oh! Oh!

What's the matter with you?

Are you crazy?

[SHEMP SNORING]

Get up.

Come on.

Oh.

Oh, why'd you

wake me up for?

Why didn't you let me sleep, so

I wouldn't know how hungry I am?

He's right.

Hey, why don't we eat

the watermelons?

Come on, let's go.

Come on, boy.

[SNORING]

[CHUCKLES]

Look.

I don't see nothin'.

Oh!

[GROANING]

Oh, what big seeds.

Oh, a prize.

What's this?

Hey, get the other melon.

[CONTINUES SNORING]

Aha. Oh.

No wonder Bortch

acted so mysteriously.

The melons.

That melon is here.

Hi.

MOE:

Bortch is the spy that stole

those government documents.

We'll turn that baby

over to the authorities.

[BORTCH SHUSHES]

Now, you hold this film

for safekeeping

till we do away

with that spy.

That's what you think.

That's what I said.

Hello. Eee!

Run!

Argh!

Give me that film.

BORTCH:

Give me that film.

I've got you now,

you rat.

Let me have it.

That took care of him.

Oof!

Yoo-hoo!

Nyah-nyah.

[GROWLS]

I get you.

Nyah-nyah.

Oof!

Nyah-nyah.

Why, you. I'll kill you.

Oh-oh-oh.

[SQUISH]

Give me that film.

Give me that film,

or I kill you.

No, no.

You give me that film.

Keep away from me.

Hey, kid.

I'll brain you.

Oh! Oh.

Bull's-eye. Ha-ha!

Why, you...

Do your stuff, baby.

Whoa!

Why, you back-biter.

I'll take you in myself.

Mr. Bortch.

Yes?

There we are.

You got him.

Nice work, Moe.

We'll turn this bird over to

authorities at the first port.

See if we're near land.

Aye, aye, captain.

Oh! Get out of here.

Oh, no, not again.

Land.

Land!

[♪]

Dunked in the Deep (1949) - full transcript