Dumbstruck (2010) - full transcript

At the annual Vent Haven Convention in Ft. Mitchell, Kentucky, ventriloquism capital of the world, director Mark Goffman discovers five extraordinary characters straight out of a Christopher Guest mockumentary. But in this delightful, it's-all-true documentary, the characters are real, and so are the emotional attachments that they have with their "dummies."

Mike check, check.

Check.

Check.

Hey, check-a.

♪ Pull the string,

and I'll wink at you ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

♪ I'll do funny things

if you want me to ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

in 30 minutes,

this place is gonna be crazy

with ventriloquists.

♪ Pull the little strings,

and I'll sing you a song ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

a lot of times,

the vents are really isolated,

like, "Hey, I'm the only vent

in my town,"

and they don't

have anybody to talk to.

So, here they get to talk

to people.

Yeah! Yeah!

Actually, quite a few

ventriloquists who started out

initially were quite shy

and are still shy,

and that's not an uncommon trait

among ventriloquists.

♪ Treat me good

and I'll do anything ♪

♪ I'm just a puppet,

and you hold my string ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

Welcome, everybody, to the 31st

vent haven convention.

What do you think of that?

31 times we've been here

and done that.

About 450 come every year --

as far away as New Zealand,

Australia, Japan.

Do you speak English?

No.

I don't think

I'm playing with a full deck.

Come on, boy.

What are you betting?

I came to my first convention,

and I just fell in love

with the people.

Everyone's so friendly,

and everybody is like me --

talk to themselves and play

with dolls for a living.

Our next contestant,

Kimberly Yeager,

will now take the stage

with her special friend, Carson.

♪ I've been everywhere,

man ♪

♪ I've been everywhere,

man ♪

I actually got my start

with the miss Ohio pageant,

and I got to do my ventriloquist

act, the only ventriloquist

in so many --

I don't know how many years.

Our talent winner this evening

is Kimberly Yeager.

Our swimwear winner

is contestant number 18,

Kimberly Yeager.

The new miss Ashland,

number 18, Kimberly Yeager!

She made miss Ashland,

made miss Mansfield,

and then was in the miss Ohio,

and she really loved it.

But she had always played

with the little puppets and...

But I thought it would

kind of end as she got older.

That's a nice outfit.

You need another color on him.

Yeah.

I've got

the perfect color.

Okay.

Okay. Come here.

I'll show you.

All right.

We've got eyes here.

Eyelids --

he can blink, blink, blink.

And this is what

it looks like inside.

Upper lip, nose.

And if it's all going,

it looks something like this.

Do you want to try it on him?

Here -- we'll put it on him.

That's good.

My name is Dylan Burdette,

and I hopefully will be

the next best ventriloquist.

So, here's 13-year-old

Dylan Burdette

from down the street!

Reggie -- I guess

he considers himself a pimp.

You know?

He's been interested

in it since he was 5,

so I can't ever remember a time

when he wasn't

playing with puppets.

My mom's kind of supportive of it.

She takes me here every year.

She's the one who buys me

all the dummies.

I'm not really sure

what my dad thinks of it,

but I think my dad wanted me

to get into other sports, so...

I don't quite understand

why Dylan picked a black figure

to use, but that's his choice.

I've always wanted

to hopefully find publicity,

to maybe get the word out

that I'm a ventriloquist.

And who knows? Maybe I'll

be able to be professional.

I'll get discovered.

Welcome to vent haven museum.

Is this

your first time, then?

Yes.

The number-one element to being

a successful ventriloquist

is you have to be funny

to be good.

If you're technically

perfect at it,

you might get

very polite applause

and very appreciative applause,

but I don't know that people

would come back to see you

time and time again

unless you are very, very funny.

Little Gary, say "Hello."

Hi.

I saw your mouth move.

Oh, uh...

Hi.

When you're a kid,

you don't think about

whether you're good or bad.

You just do it because it's fun.

And I was beat up a lot

for being a sissy.

But I didn't care.

I liked it.

♪ Ahhhhh

It wasn't until

I got into college

that I was suddenly in amongst

a whole bunch of different

people that didn't know me.

That's where I brought the

puppets out of the closet again,

and things started to go

completely the other direction.

Instead of being picked on,

I was suddenly popular.

Shut up!

Let's play cards!

Why don't you play

that pair you got?

They look good.

Think again.

I need more drink.

Excuse me.

Bird here.

Bird here.

Bird here.

Bird here.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I can't walk very fast.

I don't want to lay an egg.

Pretty much the rest of the family

wants nothing to do with this,

and they always try to tell me

to stay away from my aunt, also,

but I was in rough times,

and my aunt was the only one

that helped me out, so...

I'm going down to get drunk.

I can say things

through the characters that,

if I said it myself,

I'd be fired,

I'd be slapped in the face

or beat up.

But they can say stuff

and get away with it.

She was working, I think,

as a security guard,

and she got beat up

pretty bad,

and they had to wire

her jaw shut.

And of course they said,

"Well, you can't talk."

That's not gonna stop Wilma.

So that's how she started

to work on the ventriloquism,

and she found a way to talk

with her mouth wired shut.

Testing, one, two, three.

Everybody,

beware of the puppetmobile.

I want to thank you

for another great convention,

and see you again next year.

Safe travels, all right?

Since I was 10 years old,

I've been wanting to go

to the ventriloquist convention

and never was able to.

I was too young at first,

and then I was working,

and it was either money

or go to the convention.

Oh, no,

a ventriloquist.

Oh! Ho ho!

Ho ho!

What is your name, sir?

My name is Terry Fator.

And I'm Emma Taylor.

This is Emma Taylor.

I'm a singer.

Yeah, she's a singer.

Show us what you got, man.

All right.

Hit it.

What? Wait.

What are you doing? What --

Wai-- Emma,

do you know who that is?

Yeah.

You're gonna do

an impression of her?

Yeah.

All right.

Emma Taylor.

♪ At last

wow!

Whoa ho!

♪ My love has come along

Wow!

Up until just

a very few months ago,

we were really,

really struggling.

I would, you know,

look up every single venue

that was possible

for me to play,

and it just never worked out,

never worked out.

And so I was out there,

you know, mowing lawns

and painting houses and just

trying to keep ourselves afloat.

I mean, I knew

how talented he was.

And I just kept telling him,

for years and years,

"It's just a matter

of the right people seeing you."

All right.

Terry, I have to tell you

real up straight--

when you came in, I thought,

"Oh, lordy, lord, not again."

But you are quite brilliant.

Thank you.

You really are.

I think you're on your way.

Anyway, that's just my opinion.

Thank you.

I work full time

as a ventriloquist.

I did 482 shows

last year.

You hungry, puppy?

Here.

Jasper, you are so spoiled.

I work for

the officer Phil company,

which books me

in all school assemblies,

and I do shows

all over different states.

We utilize magic

and ventriloquism,

with a safety message.

Lucky, what does a duck use

if he were to break his wing?

What would he use to fix it?

"Duck" tape.

If a duck were to get sick

and he needed some medicine,

who would he go to?

A "ducktor."

Lucky, what do you call

a cow and two ducks?

I don't want to do

any more jokes.

What?

Come on, lucky.

I don't want to do any...

Lucky.

You guys

are making fun of me.

Oh, no, no, no, lucky,

you know --

oh, boys and girls,

I see what happened here.

He thought we were laughing

at him, making fun of him.

Hi, baby.

Go bye-bye?

I'm at a point in my life

where I'm 31

and I've been working for the

same company for 7 years now,

doing children's shows,

which I love, you know?

But I just want to -- you know,

I really don't have

anywhere else to go.

Thank you, mommy.

Sometimes I wish she would get out.

I mean, "Kimmy, just...

Find someone, get married, have kids."

"Mom, these are my kids."

I mean...You know?

I don't mean, like, settle down,

like she's wild or something.

She's not wild.

Just --

you meant settle down

and get married.

Yeah, and have kids

instead of her...

Puppet children...

...that she does.

Down here, this is, like, my main room,

where I have my puppets and all

the stuff that I kind of loved.

I was engaged at one point.

And, you know, the whole wedding

thing just didn't work out.

All the way there,

from the top to the bottom,

two rows of, like, wedding stuff

that never got used,

so I just stored it.

11 30-gallon tubs

of wedding stuff.

So I'm set for the next one,

if I ever get married.

You're so hot.

Give me a kiss.

Oh, stop it.

Get out of my face,

you pervert.

Hey, what's that mean?

I'm not gonna tell you.

Tell me.

No.

I feel like, a lot of times,

I'm like,

"What am I doing here in this town?"

And just -- you know, I just --

there's something waiting

out there for me and I just --

I'm ready to get to it,

and I'm just not there,

and I'm here.

I just feel on edge, you know,

'cause I want to get there.

This is our boat.

We're going on a charter

over to coco cay.

Hi, mom. Hi!

After what happened to me with,

you know, my last relationship,

I went on a cruise with my

sister, just a weekend cruise,

and I performed with Bertha.

I just brought her along,

and I said, "Hey, I'd like to --

"I'm a ventriloquist.

Can I do a little bit

in the show?"

I want to get me some fried

chicken and mashed potatoes

and grits and okra

and green beans...

It was just so magical.

Everyone laughed.

They loved it,

and they were like,

"If you ever want to do cruises,

let us know."

Give it up for Kimberly Yeager.

The big thing is, you know,

I put my dreams on hold

for the last person I dated.

I did, and I thought I was gonna

have a different life with him.

And then that didn't work out,

so now it's like I'm back

to square one, pursuing --

my dream I've always

wanted to try was cruise ships.

So I'm not gonna let anyone

stand in my way this time.

I've worked for several

of the cruise lines

for a number of years now,

and pretty much

that's all I'm doing anymore.

It's a lot of fun.

It's taken me

all over the world.

We are here in San Diego,

California.

And I'm just starting my season

working the Mexican riviera.

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

Cruise ships are very much like

the latter-day Las Vegas now.

They're putting on

big, splashy shows,

and they're bringing in

name entertainment,

and people can come into

beautiful theaters.

Setting sail --

it's a lot of fun.

You're embarking

on an adventure,

and it feels like that.

You need to sing

into the Mike.

Otherwise, the audience

can't hear you.

Is it on?

Yes, it's on.

It's on!

Don't do that again.

All right, now,

just --

Stop that, all right?

Sing into the Mike!

I'll bet you want

a signature, don't you?

Yes, I do.

You have such talent.

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

Thank you.

I am considered

a headliner act on the ship.

I mean, I'm excited

about having this

because I'm only one of

just two or three ventriloquists

that work this line.

So, you folks were

at the show last night.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, well, thank you.

Thank you.

In the ventriloquist world,

really, the top of the heap

is cruise ships,

and that's what

you really want to get to.

I tried, man. For years,

I tried to get -- I did.

I've seen a lot of ventriloquists.

Dan's technique

is unbelievably good.

Part of the illusion

and magic of ventriloquism

is you have to create --

that character has to be

completely apart from you.

What's your name?

John.

John, I'd like to say

two words -- "Rogaine."

I'm kidding!

That's one word.

John,

do you like games?

Yeah?

How about peek-a-boo?

Don't do that!

It's taken me years

and years and years

to hone the craft

and to write the material

and to get the timing down.

John, he's manhandling me!

You're just sitting there!

I've never seen you

act like this.

What is your problem

here tonight?

Cassandra?

I want --

The way to really be successful,

though, is to try to reach

a level of performing

where you're consistent,

where people feel like they're

seeing this for the first time.

They want to feel like

they've witnessed something

unique and in-the-moment.

Cruises -- this is a really

good opportunity.

It pays well.

It's exciting

because you're traveling.

If there is a downside -- and

this is a big one, I guess --

is it does keep you away from

your home and your family a lot.

I met my wife in the lobby

of the theater

where I was doing a show,

and we're about to celebrate

our 24th wedding anniversary.

So, it was ventriloquism

that brought us together.

I'm on the road a lot more now

than I used to be,

and we're both

very independent people,

we're both very committed

to each other,

and we just make it work.

When I do ventriloquism,

it actually does feel like

I'm talking to another person.

I can't explain it.

It just does.

I mean, I know that

kind of sounds weird,

but it actually does.

It's just out of this world.

I feel like I'm different

in everything that I do,

and all my friends think

that ventriloquism is strange,

but it's just

something that I love.

This is a place

where I like to think

without being bothered

by anybody.

I've got, like, a little

DVD player over there,

where I watch my acts

to see how good I am.

Over here -- I always

set my dummies on this

so I can kind of look in the

mirror, watch my lip movement,

and look at my performance.

I kind of just like

practicing by myself.

Once I get my act perfect,

then I like to show my family,

but it still

hasn't been perfected.

It's just kind of memorized

in my head.

Dylan, for being 13 years old,

is probably about

the smallest kid in his class.

And it's been that way

for a long time.

He's just very small.

Dylan is a very quiet,

shy person,

until he gets onstage.

And then

he's totally different.

And I think it's because

he has his friend.

It's like you have

someone up there with you,

and Reggie is the one

doing the work.

And Reggie --

Reggie hasn't been having

any girls come here lately.

That's why you...

I know he's very

passionate about the figure

and doing the ventriloquism.

There's a lot of kids out there

that are playing football,

and they have to practice

twice a day,

11 months out of the year.

So, I think those guys

are also pretty passionate

about what they do.

This is my motorcycle

right here, this yamaha yz250.

I've been riding

since I was 9 years old,

so I've been at it

for a long time.

Now, with the motorcycles and

some of the other activities,

I can kind of coach him

a little bit.

When it comes to ventriloquism,

I don't know anything about it.

Motocross-- I'm not the best.

I mean, I'm pretty good.

I just don't feel like I'll ever

be good enough to become pro.

I've had

a couple of wrecks,

and you've had

a couple wrecks, but...

...Entertainment.

This is Dave.

Hey, Dave, this is Dylan.

Dylan?

After the last convention,

I kind of thought, you know,

one show isn't really enough

per year,

so I decided to kind of

look in the phone books,

call every talent agency,

and I contacted them.

I called and said, "Hey,

do you hire ventriloquists?"

The whole thing's been Dylan,

and he called this place,

this talent agency

all by himself.

So, it's all been Dylan.

I have very little

to do with this.

Is this an act

that you've done before?

Uh, well, I just

wrote the script

about last week, so...

Do you have other pieces

that you've done in the past?

Yes, I do.

Okay, bring

some of that material, too,

so it's not just

a totally fresh act...

Dave-- he said, you know, "You're 13.

"I'm sorry,

I can't really hire you,

"but if you'd like,

once you're 14,

"you can come down to

the amazing portable circus,

"and we can talk to you and

see if you've got any potential

"for when we can hire you.

And you can come down here

and see what it's all about."

This is Dr. Fred.

Whenever somebody in our family

or somebody I know

is in the hospital,

Dr. Fred makes a visit

and checks the patient out --

not out of the hospital,

but checks the patient out.

Come on...

Attaboy.

I went in the hospital.

They thought it was a stroke.

My whole left side

went numb.

So she brought in Dr. Fred

to cheer me up.

Well, we were making

so much noise.

It was like,

after about five minutes,

you forget

that Wilma's there.

You just start

talking to Dr. Fred.

Wilma's

a very good person.

If you're in trouble, Wilma

is right there on the spot.

Wilma sticks out and --

for good or bad, she sticks out.

For a woman that's 6'5",

she is just a bundle of joy,

and she's just fun to be around,

and she just puts herself

into it,

and she loves people.

God uses what gifts you have.

And if your gift

is ventriloquism,

that's what your medium

should be.

When I entertain, I love

going the whole nine yards,

decorating for my sets and all.

I've done a few shows

at maranatha.

They're just a great bunch

that come to that church.

You remember the ostrich.

I've put together

what I believe is my best show.

They will never

forget this show.

Hi, there.

How you doing?

How you doing there,

cutie?

Hi, there.

Hi-yi-yi-yee! Hi!

You look hot.

Let me cool you down.

Okay, now, you guys have just

saw me draw this face.

Are you moving your eyes?

No!

Okay.

Can I have your name?

No, it's mine.

Oh, okay.

And -- and what is your name?

Art.

Art -- that's a good name

for a drawing.

I thought the show was great.

I mean -- but then,

I'm prejudice.

We have a special guest here.

Here is none other

but tigerman!

Everybody go, "Rah!"

Rah!

Rah!

Rah!

Rah!

Come on, let me hear you say, "Rah!"

All right,

we'll get started here.

Let's clap your hands.

There -- you can stand up.

Now clap your hands.

There you go.

Now stomp your feet.

Movement is good.

Here we go now.

Come on.

Shoulders.

Everybody, who am I?

Tigerman!

Who am I?

Tigerman!

Who am I?

Several of them came up

to me and even thanked me

for deciding to have an extra

added attraction in the show.

♪ We need love

try to stand up, everybody,

whoever can.

♪ We need love

nice and loud.

♪ We need peace

♪ We need peace

♪ Around the world

♪ Around the world

♪ We need love

♪ We need love

♪ And peace

♪ And peace

if I do a show

and I just get one person

to just forget

their troubles and laugh,

I've done my job.

And today, I saw

more than one person laugh.

I mean,

we had the audience --

well, I can't say

falling in the aisles,

because they were supported

by their walkers, but...

I did a show, and there was

one 12-year-old kid at the show.

And about 10 minutes

into the show --

I'm doing the show --

I'm thinking, "Oh, well,

it's only one kid,

but I'm gonna go ahead

and do a good show

for him, anyway."

And about 10 minutes into it,

3 teenage kids come in

and sit down,

and I'm thinking,

"Thank goodness.

Finally I'm getting a crowd."

About five minutes after that,

a guy walks in --

and I'm in the middle

of my show --

and a guy walks in and tells

the three teenage kids,

"All right,

let's go to work,"

and they started

folding the chairs up.

And I'm going, "Uh, well,

I guess the show's over."

It was horrible.

I was so discouraged.

And there were shows

like that,

where I would call Melinda

and I would say,

"Honey, I just don't know

if I can do this."

America has decided.

The winner of "America's Got Talent"

and the winner

of $1 million is...

...Terry Fator!

Way to go, brother.

We've got

one more surprise for you.

We know your dream

is to play Las Vegas.

Well, we're gonna make

that dream come true.

Home to some of the greatest

entertainment in the world,

and it is all yours,

Terry Fator.

What a night!

Congratulations to our

$1-million winner, Terry Fator!

A big, big round of...

So, when people come in now,

this is what

they'll witness.

And they're assuming

they're just seeing

your everyday

ventriloquist.

Okay.

But unbeknownst to them --

go ahead, Sam, if you'd

raise that curtain.

Oh!

Oh, that is cool.

That is unbelievable!

Incredible.

I just -- I cannot believe it.

Wow.

Come on up and see your new chest.

A place to hang the jacket,

all the Cher stuff.

Oh, my gosh,

it's all here.

You know, I used to think

about winning the lottery

all the time, and I would pray,

I'd be like, "God, you know,

please let me win the lottery.

Please let me win the lottery."

And it was like a voice

in my head one day said,

"Look, I've given you

everything you need

to win your own lottery.

Now get out there and do it."

And I went, "Okay."

And I quit

buying lottery tickets,

and I started

working on my act.

Except most people

who win the lottery

don't get their name

in 8-foot letters.

Those are 10-foot.

10-foot letters.

Okay, yeah.

And we might put them

on 2-foot risers.

For somebody like me,

it's truly mind-boggling.

I -- you just -- you know,

I mean, I'm 42 years old,

and I've lived a completely

normal existence up to now.

And now all of a sudden,

I'm staying in this suite.

All right.

Thank you.

Enjoy the show tonight.

The one and only

Terry Fator!

So, what are you gonna

start off with tonight?

I'd like to do

my theme song.

You have a theme song?

I do now.

Since when have you had

a theme song?

Since I won "America's Got Talent."

Wait a second. Wait.

You won "America's Got Talent"?

Well, duh.

He went from playing Ferris festivals

to playing the Las Vegas Hilton,

all within one year.

And now we're getting offers

from just about

every major hotel,

wanting to build

the Terry Fator theater,

which is his lifelong dream come true.

My father, no matter what I would do--

I would do a show,

and my dad would say,

"Well, you're really

not that good,

but you're good at making people

think you're good."

And I was thinking --

so, all this time --

all my life,

I've thought I was a fraud,

and I thought

that the house of cards

was gonna come tumbling down

when everybody realized

I wasn't really that good.

Terry Fator was talking

about his drive and his passion,

and it took him 10 years

to get an act in Vegas.

He's one in a million.

You know?

I really think, though,

the first step is that drive

because if you have the drive,

and if you have the desire,

you'll find a way.

So, I guess the natural step

for a ventriloquist,

after you get

to a certain place,

is to go on the cruises

or to go into corporate or to --

the cruise industry

has changed a lot, though,

in the last few years.

The cruise lines really

prefer to work with people

that will go for longer

periods of time.

And when

you're away from home,

if you're on a ship

six to eight weeks,

it's very hard to start up

relationships,

to maintain relationships.

Unless you meet someone

on the ship and get married.

I was just gonna say --

I know some people

that have met other people

while working on a ship,

but that's rare.

Now, my dogs -- I love my dogs,

and -- oh, I just don't know.

Most likely,

you wouldn't be allowed

to travel with your dogs.

How could I leave my dogs

for two months?

I mean, how do you do that?

How do I leave my kids

for two months?

That's -- that's a hard thing,

but if I don't,

I can't put a roof over their

head and food on the table.

Hi. How you doin'?

Come here.

I'm gonna give you a kiss.

You want to give me a kiss?

Oh! You go lay down.

Lay down.

Lay down right now.

I'm really excited about tonight.

Yes, because I'm gonna showcase

my adult routines and --

you know, 'cause I do

kids shows most --

the majority of the time,

it's kids stuff,

so I definitely

need the practice.

I need to get my puppets out

there and showcase,

you know, the adult shows.

♪ Oh, say, can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

♪ What so proudly we hailed

♪ At the twilight's

last gleaming? ♪

Well, tonight we're

at the miss Mansfield pageant.

They're doing a thing

where they're bringing back

all the former miss mansfields

throughout the years,

and I was

miss Mansfield 2000.

So I'm here, and they asked me

to be a performer.

So I'm gonna be doing

my talent after intermission.

No way. Unh-unh.

I ain't gonna do it, Kim.

Okay, we'll come back to that.

So, the only thing left,

really, is talent.

Talent?

I ain't got no talent, Kim.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

We are proud to present to you

12 intelligent young women

who tonight will vie

for the title of miss Mansfield.

You have

a really skinny waist.

Yeah, well, things don't

grow well in the shade.

Kimberly has asked me

to videotape her tonight.

She's trying to put together

a package that she can use

to send out, sort of like a

tryout tape or an audition DVD.

What were you thinking,

getting me up here

on this stage, Kim?

Well, you always said you wanted

to be in a beauty pageant.

Now, this is your chance.

Now, let's

look at the positives.

I ain't got none.

Come on.

Now, you have

a really skinny waist.

Yeah, well, things don't

grow well in the shade.

Bertha, come on.

Delayed reaction, Kim.

Yeah. They'll get it.

Okay.

We're in Mansfield.

Bertha, like I said, you look

really pretty tonight.

No, I don't, Kim.

Look at these teeth.

Heeeee.

These teeth make me

look like a horse.

A horse?

Every time I go

to the racetrack,

they try to put

a saddle on me.

Bertha...

Do you want me to comment, like,

on all the things I hate?

Well, you always said

you wanted to be

in a beauty pageant.

Now, this is your chance.

Now, let's

look at the positives.

I don't know.

I hate to watch myself.

No matter if I do good or bad,

I hate to watch myself.

I just -- I need to learn to be

a good critique of myself,

but -- I'm working on it.

This is kind of the point

where I am coming out

of my comfort zone.

Now it's, like, time to,

yeah, make new relationships,

meet people that can help me

in different ways, you know,

'cause my goals

are different now.

The only person

I could really think of

that would work out great

would be Tom ladshaw.

You know, I've come a long way.

I've got a lot of characters

that I think are really cool

and would be good

for a cruise ship.

Tom ladshaw -- he's a great guy,

very well-respected

in the vent community.

I think he's somebody that

really would be good for me.

But I need someone to help me

get my "act together."

I understand,

but ultimately, then,

the final goal

is the cruise ship.

Yeah.

Here's what I can do

for you.

I can help you build the act,

step by step.

You already have

the characters, which --

that's the biggest part

of the battle.

Now we'll put together

some material for you,

material that is going to work

in the particular venues --

the cruises.

And then, once we've got

the act ready,

once we've done it a thousand

times and polished it,

then we're going to contact

some people.

You know, I don't know

what my future holds.

You know,

I'd like to get married.

I'd like to have children.

I would like to do cruise ships.

All this has to fit, and I don't

want to be 40 years old.

I know this is something

I'm just --

I'm passionate about,

and I'm aching to do it.

When my dad gets out there,

I think I'll beat him.

He always makes up

the excuse that,

oh, if he gets hurt,

then he can't work, so...

He couldn't keep up.

Give me a chance.

I got to get warmed up.

Yeah.

I'm working up a pretty good

sweat out there,

and it's gonna keep me

wide awake

when I do that audition

later on, so...

Well, since I'm turning 14 soon,

I called Dave

at the amazing portable circus.

I asked him if I could audition.

It'll be just such an honor to

have Dave sign me as a client.

All right, the basics

of fire-eating --

one wand, a little fire,

one big idiot --

that's all you need.

There you go.

Now, you have to be careful

'cause sometimes when you're

working with magic rope,

it'll actually play tricks

on the magician,

just like I play tricks

on my audience.

Sometimes,

if I'm not paying attention,

the ends will actually slide

from one side of the rope

to the other,

just like that.

Audiences want an expert.

They want to be in the hands

of somebody who's a master.

And Dylan's biggest holdback

might be the fact that he's 13.

So I'm eager to see

where he's at, talent-wise,

but I'm more eager to see

how he presents himself.

You're Dylan?

Yep.

Nice to meet you, sir.

We do a lot more

than just ventriloquism.

We have 30 entertainers that

work with us on a regular basis.

They all work for us

exclusively.

One of the pieces of paper

that I'll be showing you

is the noncompete

that they all sign.

In exchange for that,

they get training.

In exchange for that,

they get lots of work.

If you are anywhere

in the greater Cincinnati area

and you see living statues,

that's us.

If you are anywhere

in the greater Cincinnati area

and you see stiltwalkers,

with the exception of one guy,

it's always us.

We dominate.

That's great.

And we do it on purpose.

You ready to perform?

I think so.

Awesome.

All right.

Uh, well, hello.

I am Dylan Burdette,

and, as you can see,

I am a ventriloquist.

And, uh, with that --

All right, the bell

you heard is the phone,

so sorry about that.

Let's just do it again,

and good luck.

All right.

And with that, I'd like you

to meet my right-hand man --

yeah, no kiddin'.

Yeah.

Uh, this is Reggie.

What's up?

So, um...

Let's see.

So, Reggie, uh, you know,

I understand

when we came down here,

we didn't really have an act.

So, in the car,

we just kind of discussed

what we'd like to share

our views and opinions about.

Yeah, I know.

So, uh...

Uh, all right.

Let's see.

Tell me, uh...

Uh, I don't know.

Maybe I should ask you

the questions.

You want to ask me

the questions?

Yeah.

All right. Sure.

Uh, well,

aren't you ever afraid

somebody might not laugh

at your jokes?

Uh, I don't know.

I don't really know the meaning

of the word "fear."

Yes, but you also don't know

the meaning of most words.

Dylan, here's where we're at,

you and I, as far as --

you called me

wanting a job, okay?

You're not at the place

where I could book you tomorrow.

Okay.

But I think you could

do a birthday party.

And I think you could

do a school show.

And I think you could

do that this year.

But there's a lot of work

that goes between

where we're at today

and there, okay?

I was really surprised to see

that he did a brand-new piece

for us today.

I'd rather have seen him

do something

that he's well-versed on.

I actually said that to him

on the phone, too.

I'm like, "you don't have to do

brand-new material,"

for the exact same reason.

I mean, he didn't do that for

anybody, so he had absolutely...

Exactly. Same thought.

I'm pretty happy with my performance,

considering I didn't really

have, like, all year

to practice

and perfect that act.

But you looked like

you were pretty sad about --

about what he was saying.

To me, you appeared sad.

Mnh-mnh, no.

You weren't sad?

Nope.

Okay.

You got to pay your dues, no

matter what you do, sometimes.

You know?

When -- when

I'm falling apart,

I can't get these characters to

cheer me up because they just --

even when they try to talk

to me, they crack up, too,

and I mean crying.

And...

But I don't

have any tear ducts.

Well...

"Warning -- your property

is about to be sold

without your consent

for delinquent taxes."

I guess some people, when you

get in this desperate situation,

they turn to their family.

Wilma went one way,

and they're the other way,

and that's the way

families work.

Her brother and my mom

want nothing to do with her...

...nothing at all.

Like, if they seen her

on the street,

they'd just keep walking.

They wouldn't even

say hi to her.

There's several reasons

I'm not in good

with my brother and sister,

but the main reason is

they hate what I'm doing.

And they hate ventriloquism.

She had medical conditions

when she was younger,

and she pretty much

chose differently

than what everybody else

would have thought of doing.

And that's why nobody really

wants nothing to do with her.

My whole family

pretty much told me

I was living with Wilma

too long,

but I don't understand

that one.

Wilma's helping me out.

I'm getting cleaned up.

The only thing I have left to do

is reach out for another

family of mine --

my ventriloquist family.

"Hi, everyone, normally I try

to keep my private life secret,

"but I'm at wit's end.

"And they say that, when you

have a problem, tell someone.

"Since you're the closest

to my relatives that I have,

"I'm hoping that one of you

can help me

"continue my ventriloquism.

"If I don't come up

with $1,079.42,

my house will be sold."

"Unless god comes up

with a miracle,

I'll be homeless on the 23rd."

My son -- he disappeared

from me at the age of 5.

He was taken away from me

because of problems with my ex

and my ex mother-out-law.

I never called her an "in-law."

She was always an out-law.

My son --

well, I call him Billy,

but he's now William, Jr.

Billy went looking for me

one time,

and they found out that he came

over to my parents' house,

which was

his grandparents' house.

When my mother-out-law and my ex

found out about it,

they said that I had died,

so he wouldn't stop.

But he still came over

'cause then he started trying

to find out where I was buried.

That's when they came up

with the cremation idea.

When I found out that, I...

I-I died, emotionally.

Because of Billy,

I've dedicated my life

to entertaining children.

I can't wait till you learn

how to dress yourself.

Konnichiwa.

Okay. Now, you notice

it's not just the hand.

It's the head moving, too.

Do you want to try

putting her on your knee?

We are in Osaka, Japan.

I'm here to share what I do

with the Japanese

ventriloquists here.

Well, we're gonna talk a little

bit about manipulation

and moving of the arms here.

Okay?

So, we've got that.

Maybe we've got a little --

a little scratch there

or a little fixing of the hair.

Dan horn's amazing.

His manipulation is impeccable.

He's the best ventriloquist I've

ever seen manipulate a puppet.

And when I go

to pick him up...

Okay.

I'm gonna plop him down.

If the puppet has no movement,

it has no life.

It's got to have

some movement.

But it's got to be

lifelike movement.

Think of the movement

as coming from your wrist,

and everything else is going to

move around that movement,

as if there was

a string here.

It's not just this.

It's this.

A lot of what I'm seeing is just

very puppety-like movement

because nobody is giving any

kind of fluidity to the puppet.

They're not --

they're not grasping

that it's supposed to have

weight and mass.

You are very lovely.

I'm only recently being

introduced to what

the Japanese culture dictates

for their ventriloquists.

Somebody told me,

"oh, you hit your puppet.

You never hit your puppet."

Well, I don't --

I don't go around going,

"well, somebody said

I can't hit the puppet,

so I'm not gonna

hit the puppet."

It's foreign to me to think

that the people here

don't have

that kind of freedom

and to not have the freedom

to say, "oh, yeah?"

Aah!

I'm sorry.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

You can't hit the puppet!

Yeah, I don't

have to listen to you.

Oh.

Domo arigato.

Mwah! Mwah!

I'm having a wonderful time.

But I have to go right back

to work on the ships.

The thing with the ships is,

if you're not doing the work,

they're gonna get somebody else.

I was thinking that,

if you came on in San Pedro,

then you could at least

go down as far as mazatlã¡n,

which is where I get off

and switch ships.

Yeah, I know,

that's what I thought,

but I thought it was worth

at least --

well, I know.

I just thought it was

at least worth asking

if maybe there was some way

to make it work.

I really miss seeing my wife.

That's the real price

you're paying

when you're doing

this kind of a job,

and it's really difficult.

Check, one, two.

"No business like show business" comes up,

and the announcer says,

"and now, all grown up

and back in corsicana,

it's Terry Fator!"

Okay.

Well, we are so excited

to have Terry here tonight

because he's

"hometown boy makes good."

We are very proud of corsicana.

We are known as the fruitcake

capital of the world.

We sold out both shows

in the first day.

We sold over 1,200 tickets.

We had people waiting in line

at 4:00 A.M. in the rain.

Thanks. It's so good to see you,

Sarah. Oh, my god.

So many of these people here

in corsicana know Terry.

They remember seeing him onstage

here 20 and 25 years ago,

or they know his family.

It was very, very nice.

Thank you. Thank you.

Good to see you.

Okay.

We didn't have a lot of money growing up,

and so we were constantly

getting evicted.

All of a sudden, you've only

been here for a few months,

but the next thing you know,

you're all packing up

and you're moving again.

And so I was very lonely

as a kid.

I started magic

when I was eight,

and I got really good at it.

I could shuffle one-handed,

you know, both hands,

and I was able to conjure coins

and all kinds of things.

And one day, my dad just --

he came in,

and he said,

"you're practicing too much.

You're obsessed with this."

And he took all my magic stuff

and threw it away

and said, "you're not allowed

to do magic any more."

And so, when I started doing

ventriloquism at 10,

I was just absolutely determined

that my father

would never see me practice.

So that's why I would practice

when I was doing

janitorial work --

because my dad would

drop us off at a building,

and I would sit there,

and we would work for hours,

and I would sit there

and practice and sing songs

without moving my lips.

♪ La la la la

la la la la la la la ♪

Mr. Terry Fator!

Thank you so much for coming

tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

You see,

I am a ventriloquist.

Get out of here.

I did not know

you did that.

Well, I do --

yeah?

Do some for me.

You want me to do

some ventriloquism?

Yeah.

Right now?

Yeah.

In front of all

the people?

Yeah.

What -- you're putting me

on the spot.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to say,

"Peter Piper picked a peck

of pickled peppers,"

and don't move your lips.

"Therefore, I Clifford brown,

"the mayor of the city

of corsicana,

"do hereby proclaim

Thursday, January 24,

"as Terry Fator day in corsicana

and encourage all fans

and friends to participate

in this event."

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Unbelievable. Wow.

Wow.

My goodness gracious.

Well, it was a lot of fun,

and I did see a lot of family,

but I didn't see my dad.

He didn't --

I didn't really expect to,

but he did not show up,

so...

Good afternoon, and welcome to the mirage.

Well, today I'm here to announce

that we are continuing

the tradition

of great entertainment

with the signing of Terry Fator.

I'm overwhelmed

and so incredibly happy.

It's been a goal of mine to play

in Vegas for a long, long time,

and, of course, to get my start

at the Hilton and then come here

is just beyond

my wildest dreams.

Cindy,

can you get Terry a pen?

Oh, my.

Terry, just sit here, and Scott

and I will be on each side here.

Okay.

It didn't register, you know?

You just --

you read this in the paper.

You don't --

it happens

to other people.

This doesn't happen

to me.

This happens to the guy

you read about.

This is

a pretty cool office, huh?

It's kind of nice.

Any more?

And he's got his own

parking spot...

Is that it?

And then, like, later, I went,

"Oh, my gosh!

I just signed with the mirage!"

Our next guest has so much talent,

after struggling for years,

he has just signed the biggest

deal in Las Vegas history.

Say hello to Terry Fator.

Well, I'm very excited.

This is where I meet

with my comedy writer,

which is pretty wild

to have a comedy writer.

I've always wanted one.

And now I have one.

We'll do a lot more of this

tomorrow.

I've been writing for Terry

since the beginning of the year.

They wanted to get the show

funnier as fast as they could.

And after 20, 30 years

of putting a show together,

now he's got a year to make it

go from a really good show

to a perfect show.

You got to have some people

help you.

Winston losing his --

all the money --

I mean, bad choices --

huge laugh.

Wait a second.

What?

You won $1 million?

Yeah.

Well...

If you're a millionaire,

why didn't you retire?

Why are you still working?

I made some bad choices.

You know what makes

the bad choices so good

is because the turtle's head

goes down.

You know,

"I made some bad choices."

And everybody's

made bad choices.

Like what?

Well, I gambled half of it

out there in the casino.

He should say,

"they comped my room,"

just like he says,

"I made some bad choices."

You gambled half a million

dollars in the casino?

Yeah,

but they comped my room.

I think that's cute.

Melinda even

added on to that.

She said, you know,

how about we comped the room,

"and I got a free buffet"?

A free buffet --

I think that's really cute.

And I got a free buffet.

The team comes up with some

fantastic ideas,

and Terry, because he's been an

entertainer for so many years,

puts his own little twist

on everything.

So, what did you do

with the other half a million?

I spent it

at the turtle ranch.

When I first came to work with them,

I thought the show

was about a six.

Now I think it's an eight.

I think in a couple more months,

it's gonna be a nine.

Then it's gonna take a year

to go from 9 to 10

because that's really hard.

I would love to move on to do cruises.

That's what --

I do want to do that.

Yeah.

I would so love to, like,

lay on a ship and do nothing

and sip nada coladas

and

And do shows and just...

Yeah, I think

I would like it a lot.

Hey, hey.

There she is.

Come on in.

It's good to see you.

You too.

How's everything?

All right, come on in,

and we'll get started.

We got a long day

ahead of us.

We do.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm excited to finally be here.

May I take your coat?

Yes, thank you.

I don't think it'll fit,

but I'll grow into it.

My sister and I are going

on a cruise in June.

What I would suggest doing

is let's see if we can

get this ready over

the next couple of months.

And when you get on the cruise,

talk to the cruise director,

tell him

you'd have some time.

And treat it as an audition.

And when it's over, say,

"well, what did you think?

"Honestly, I'm ready to do this,

and I'm available.

What can you do for me?"

The one number-one, main,

biggest, primo thing

that we're gonna work on

is material...

Good.

...because that's

the key to the act.

That is.

Bertha --

let's talk about her.

Okay.

I got a real problem

with Bertha.

Oh, no.

I think you didn't

go quite far enough.

Do you like

Bertha's voice?

Um, here's the thing --

she's the beauty queen,

and that she doesn't know

what all the fuss about you

is about --

she's the beauty.

Right now,

Kimberly is simply playing her

as a country girl

from wherever,

and that's funny, but it's not

nearly as funny as it could be.

I think that's --

no, I don't want to hear what

you have to say anymore.

No.

Get out of here.

I mean, oh, my gosh,

changing a character

after using it for so long --

it's like renaming your kid

and giving your kid

a new personality

and getting used to it.

I mean,

it's like they're my kids.

You can't be on a cruise ship

and have kids.

I mean, I still worry.

I mean...

You do?

Yeah.

Now, if you're

on cruise ships,

what if someone throws you off

or does something?

See? Now I'm gonna

worry about that.

Mom worries.

I mean,

but I don't know if --

I don't know if you should quit

your job and do it or --

you'd have to,

wouldn't you?

Mm-hmm.

And then what if

it didn't work out?

It's the end of the season now,

and it's been

about seven months.

There has been some un--

unhappiness.

I-I just recently did learn

that my wife and I

are going to be splitting up.

And so that's --

and a lot of it has to do

with the fact that

I'm away from home so much.

So, after 25 years of marriage,

she's decided that she just

doesn't want to be alone

anymore.

Well, I would do it differently

if I could,

but I don't know

how to do anything else.

This is the only thing

that I have done

and the only thing

I'm trained to do.

I-i...don't know

what else to do.

We've mostly been doing this

all by e-mails,

and -- which is very strange.

It's very impersonal, but

it's also, I think, been good

in the fact

that we haven't been able

to let our emotions speak freely

and say hurtful things.

I'm thinking that I really

would like to go somewhere

and just get a really,

really strong Margarita.

All right.

Eh.

So, what do you got

going on tonight?

I'm so hungry.

I got the key.

Two hours of sleep.

So, I'm here on the cruise

with my sister, Laurie.

Oh, wow, it's tiny.

We got the cheapest room

possible,

and our beds are very small.

This was a ton of work

to bring it all on here.

So, she has her crown.

She's now a diva.

I hated

being in the bag.

I ain't got no body.

I know. We'll change that

in a little bit.

Oh, good.

I got a whole new outfit made.

She had a breast reduction

right here, yeah.

Everything is, like,

kind of new on her,

and now I can just totally look

at her and see desmerelda.

I don't even see Bertha.

I do a different voice

with her now.

Get me a real diamond,

Kimberly.

We'll see about that.

Hello?

Hi. Great. Great.

You too.

So, I just went

to the information desk,

and they paged Jimmy,

the cruise director,

to see if I could meet with him

and talk to him

about performing.

Would it be possible

to talk in person?

We're set.

I got a meeting.

Hey, it's a first step,

step number one.

Hi. Are you Jimmy?

I am. Hi.

Nice to meet you.

I just asked him.

I said, "I do this.

I'm a professional

ventriloquist.

I'd like to break into

the cruise-ship industry."

And first

he said "no" right away.

He said the vice president is

on the cruise and they just --

everything is

perfectly timed out

and they just don't have

any room for it.

And I said,

"just a 10-minute opening."

And he's like, "well, let me

check and get back to you."

So, he's gonna put a letter

under my door.

Aah!aah!

Hi.

Hi.

Aah! Aah!

"Due to the nature

of this particular cruise,

I am unable to allow you

to perform." Hmm.

"There is just no room

in the schedule that allows it."

Oh, really?

"Many apologies, and we hope you

enjoy your cruise vacation."

It's got to be the fact that

there's 2,400 people on here

and they don't know you

from any other passenger,

even though Tony knows you.

I mean, I offered to do

an audition today.

I mean, they don't understand

how much I want to perform.

They obviously don't,

or they would have given me

five minutes.

Tony?

Tony, the hotel director --

is he available?

I don't think so, no.

He would be

on the other side.

He'd be over there?

Over at the other offices.

Okay. Thank you.

Stressful.

This is stressful.

Very stressful.

Well, good luck.

This has been my dream.

I mean, it would be five minutes

in the show,

but it would mean

the world to me.

Even if I -- even at the end

of the show, if you say,

"hey, if you'd

like to stick around,

we have a passenger that wants

to debut a 5-minute thing --"

yeah. We can't do it.

We cannot.

Is there any way I could

talk to the vice president

and just explain to him,

like, I'm a passenger,

this has been my dream?

Here's somebody

just gave me $50.

Another one just -- I can't

believe -- it was $100.

Now this one --

$200 from one of my

ventriloquist friends.

And then others sent me $10,

$25, which --

every little bit helps.

Totally astonished.

Totally amazed.

They're my real family.

I think it's really wonderful

that she has this ventriloquist

family all over.

I think Wilma is very blessed

to have them,

and I think they're very blessed

to have Wilma.

I can't thank them enough

for their generosity.

But it shows how tight our

ventriloquist family really is.

I will see many of them

at the convention this summer,

and I'm going to thank each

and every one of them,

maybe even give them a hug.

I won't kiss them, in case their

wives are around.

I'm ready to go.

And I'll start doing this.

This means it's almost done

because I'm trying

to get people to cheer.

Tonight is my very, very first

show as the real headliner

at the mirage,

and tonight is the real deal.

So, it actually starts.

It's been about a year now

since I said that the show

was at a 6 on a 1-10 scale.

It's at a 10 now.

I am so grateful

that I get to be here.

You just don't know

what it means to me.

You will never --

nobody will ever understand.

Come on! Come on!

Bam!

That's what

I'm talking about.

So, people wonder -- what do I

do before I'm ready for my show?

Ladies and gentlemen,

put your hands together!

Terry Fator!

When he was 14,

he would talk

about headlining in Vegas,

and tonight is the culmination

of everything

that he ever dreamed about.

♪ At la-a-a-st

♪ My love has come along

I think, you know, he kind of

felt at times like maybe,

you know, he had passed

his prime because he's 42.

But, you know, I always felt --

and I think he knew this, too --

Terry's talent is timeless.

What he does --

there's no age on it.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah

♪ At la-a-st

♪ The skies above are blue

it was -- it meant a lot.

Um...that was one

of the most exciting things

and one of the most awesome

things for me as a mom.

♪ ...Night I looked at you

Thank you.

So much has happened

this year, and I --

there's one thing, though,

that I cannot wait for,

and that is the convention.

This year, I actually get to go.

♪ Pull the string,

and I'll wink at you ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

♪ I'll do funny things

if you want me to ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

how are you?

Our convention's a lot

like a family reunion.

We have people who have been

coming year after year.

So good to see you.

It's so fun to come back

'cause you see a lot of people

that you've known

over the years.

This is Mr. T. Rex.

I put the beard on, the jewelry,

and he pities the fool

that doesn't watch him.

♪ I'm yours

to have and to hold ♪

♪ Darling, you have,

you have so much soul ♪

♪ I'm your puppet

♪ Yeah, yeah

hi, everybody.

Did you fix the camera?

I think he's incredible,

and last year,

when he won

"America's Got Talent," I mean,

the vent community

was overwhelmingly happy.

I just think that has all

made a huge impact on audiences,

and that has created

a new excitement about --

in fact, new audiences

like this ventriloquism thing.

"This is really cool.

What is this?"

I haven't seen any

ventriloquists really before.

I just knew the ones in Sweden

and Terry Fator.

Great.

Wonderful.

Yay.

Thank you, Terry.

It's really nice

meeting you, finally.

Is this the new Julius?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm Julius.

How you doing, Julius?

I'm a singer.

I have been saved

by my ventriloquist family.

I actually now have enough money

that I can actually save

the house from the sheriff.

Now, there's just no way

I can thank them,

but that's how solid

of a family we are.

Hey, hey.

What's up?

Hey, Tom!

How are you?

How are you?

It's good to see you.

Hey!

There's this person

named Robin Cahill,

and she's kind of

the talent scout.

So, we're gonna have you

perform here,

and Robin's gonna watch

and say, "gee," you know,

"here's some

undiscovered talent."

All I need you to do

is one thing.

You got to sign up

on the open-Mike thing.

That's what she's gonna --

'cause she wants to see you in

an audience with other people.

Okay.

Is this the order

that we perform in?

I don't know, ma'am.

So, without any further

ado, ladies and gentlemen,

the enchantress of song,

the mistress of melody,

miss desmerelda divine.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're lovely.

You're too kind.

How you doing?

Oh, my gosh, I've followed

your career forever,

for many, many, many years.

I have followed yours

as long as I knew you.

Nobody knew me until...

Back in April, I was torn about

whether I should, you know,

jump ship and head home

and try to see if there was

something that I could do

to salvage my marriage.

But my wife

didn't want me to do that.

She wanted me

to stay on the ship.

As sad as it is,

I'm a performer, so this --

I made -- I made the only choice

I could make,

and that is to be who I am.

I saw you in Las Vegas,

and I just -- and I just,

I went up and met you after

the show and talked to you.

This was like two

or three years ago.

Oh, okay.

And I told my wife,

"my gosh,

this is one of the best puppet

manipulators on the planet."

I'm just so impressed

with your work.

Even when I'm unhappy

as an entertainer,

I'm still happy

as an entertainer.

I -- even when I don't want to

go out onstage, I'm tired,

I'm -- whatever's going on --

when you're out onstage,

I'm really happy

with what I'm doing.

I love what I'm doing.

So, what else

did you do for fun?

In the casino,

I made 500 bucks.

Oh, that's great.

What was your strategy?

Start with $1,000 and lose half!

Coming up next, we have a 14-year-old.

He likes coming to conventions,

meeting all of his friends,

and going to

the vent haven museum.

Please welcome to the stage

Dylan Burdette!

I felt like I was just

gonna pass out.

I mean, I felt like

my knees were shaking.

I mean, I could feel my face

getting hot.

That was not

a good sound.

He's getting taller.

It's finally-- you know,

he's finally getting there,

to where he's not gonna be a--

I was afraid he was gonna be,

like, a midget or something.

To have my mom there in the audience

was kind of embarrassing

but also kind of funny

at the same time.

She always says I don't

listen to her enough...

Or something like that,

I don't know.

I guess I --

Dylan met a couple

girls a couple weeks ago,

and they showed up

for his act today.

I didn't think they'd actually

want to come, so...

He was really good.

I thought

it was really funny

when he started, like,

flirting with the girls.

Kimberly -- oh, yeah,

that's right.

You sold me

this fine outfit.

Yes.

Yes, you did.

It looks good.

I guess having a dummy might

make me a ladies' man.

I don't know.

Dylan. All right.

I'm just very excited

to meet you,

and I'm so glad

I got to see you perform.

I liked your routine.

It was very clever,

very creative,

and I'm excited to see what

you do in the future.

I think

you're gonna be okay.

Yeah, me too.

Everyone here is a lot

like family to me,

so a lot of people

were congratulating me,

and it was pretty fun.

I don't know if I'm ready

to go pro yet or not,

but I'm just hoping maybe

one day I'll be world-famous

like Terry Fator.

So, you look great.

You look really good.

Thank you.

Think you're ready?

Yeah. Like, I just heard that

Robin Cahill's here.

They're one of the biggest

cruise-line agencies

around, so...

And I hope it goes well. I'll

be out there pulling for you.

Thanks, Dan.

I appreciate it.

Oh. Well, good luck.

Oh, oh, wait.

I'm not supposed

to say that, am I?

No, don't say,

"break a leg."

This is my puppet.

Oh! Oh!

Very good body.

What?

Style is very nice.

Yeah.

He's checking me out.

She does 500 shows a year

throughout the United States,

and this is the 501st one.

Here she is --

Kimberly Yeager.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the star of the stage,

screen, television,

and supermarket grand openings,

the enchantress of song,

the mistress of melody,

miss desmerelda divine.

Oh, that's terrible!

You just can't find

good help these days.

First message.

I dated George and Ben.

Clooney and Affleck?

No.

Washington and Franklin!

So, what did you think?

Well, I guess it was okay,

I guess.

You guess?

Yeah.

So, uh, we got like

two or three minutes.

We'll go debrief and talk

about it and go over it.

We can do that?

Yeah, yeah, okay.

You ready for the bad news?

What?

I didn't want to tell you

this beforehand.

She didn't show up.

Yeah, but you know what?

Now, seeing it --

now we're gonna be able

to watch that video

and tweak a few things, tighten

a couple of things up,

and make it

that much better.

Okay.

I think a couple more times of

doing it in front of a crowd,

and you'll start getting

that feeling.

That's the feeling I got.

Yeah, me too.

Like, I felt that way, too.

I'm almost glad she didn't

see it because that was really

your first time running

in front of an audience,

and that's never when you want

the agents to see you.

Okay. Well, thanks.

Thanks for the advice.

I appreciate it.

I really do.

I'm glad I was here.

So -- yeah, me too.

Thanks, Dan.

Okay.

We'll see you later.

That's all.

Okay, Wendy, now,

how would you like me

to do your hair today?

Well, I'd like to get it

dyed because it's too light.

We're gonna put a cape

on Wilma

so she doesn't

get all hairy, too.

Okay, we're gonna swing you

around a little bit.

Whee!

I like this!

Did you? Good.

So, what kind of show

do you do, Wendy?

Oh, right now

I'm getting ready

to get married

to my fiancã©, Fred.

Fred?

That's really nice.

How long have you

gone with Fred?

Three years.

Three years.

We haven't even had sex.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

That's a little bit --

a lot of information.

Thanks, Wendy.

You're welcome.

To celebrate my house being

saved by my vent family,

we're gonna have a wedding

at the convention.

Dearly beloved, we've come together today,

in the presence of god,

to witness and bless

the joining together of this man

and this woman

in holy matrimony.

If any of you show just cause

why they may not

lawfully be married,

speak now, or else

forever hold your peace.

You better not!

The exchange

of wedding rings

has been removed

from this ceremony,

due to the fact that Fred

and Wendy's fingers

do not come apart.

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

Fred, you may now

kiss the bride.

That's right, you were telling

us about these characters.

This one is 107 years old.

That's 100?

Mm-hmm.

Now, this is obviously

restored, right?

Yes.

God, that looks great.

That's it.

Yeah!

I went over to the vent haven

museum for the very first time.

Where's Lisa? Lisa, can you

come up here for a second?

She took me on an amazing tour

of the vent haven museum.

I'm 43 years old.

It was the very first time

I'd ever had the pleasure.

First of all,

I wanted to tell you

that I'm donating the money

they're paying me to you guys,

but I'm also gonna donate

$10,000 to the...

So -- yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you so much!

You're so welcome.

Oh, my god!

Are you serious?

I'm serious, yeah, yeah.

That is such

a meaningful thing for us.

We operate on a limited budget,

and $10,000 --

we have to work

for that kind of money.

It's such a gift.

It is -- it is just a wonderful,

phenomenal thing for him to do.

I can't believe

that he is that generous.

It's awesome.

You want to say something?

What do you want to say?

Yeah.

I just want

all you people here

to know that

I love you very much.

Thank you, Winston.

Thanks for saying that.

You know, I couldn't have said

that better myself.

Go ahead.

Okay,

I'm gonna do this song.

♪ I see trees of green

♪ Red roses, too

♪ And I think to myself

♪ What a wonderful world

Are you gonna do an impression?

I am gonna do an impression.

Okay.

♪ I see skies...

There's a song

in Gilbert and Sullivan's

opera "ruddigore."

The Jester is singing about

what it takes

to be an entertainer.

And one of the lines is,

"though your wife ran away

with a soldier that day

and took with her

your trifle of money,

bless your heart --

they don't mind.

They're exceedingly kind.

They don't blame you,

as long as you're funny."

♪ I see skies of blue

♪ Clouds of white

♪ Bright blessed days

♪ Dark sacred nights

♪ And I think to myself

♪ What a wonderful world

♪ The colors

of the rainbow ♪

♪ So pretty in the sky

♪ Are also on the faces

of people going by ♪

♪ I see friends shaking hands ♪

♪ Saying, "How do you do?"

♪ They're really saying

♪ I love you

♪ I hear babies cry

♪ I watch them grow

♪ They'll learn much more

than I'll never know ♪

♪ I think to myself

- You finish it.

- Okay.

♪ What a wonderful world

♪ Oh, yes

Thank you.

Thank you very much!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

♪ When nobody else

seems to understand ♪

♪ How happiness is found

in the palm of your hand ♪

♪ Can make you laugh

♪ Make you cry

♪ A little piece of wood

that's come to life ♪

♪ Brighten up your days

and lonely nights ♪

♪ When you've got

♪ A special friend

who speaks your mind ♪

♪ Anytime

♪ When you've got

♪ A special friend

by your side ♪

♪ For the ride

♪ People think we're weird

♪ You can think we're strange

♪ Think about the sun

on a cloudy day ♪

♪ Risking everything

just to see you smile ♪

♪ Spreading joy around

mile after mile ♪

♪ 'cause the world's a funny

place when you're dumbfounded ♪

♪ And you've got

♪ A special friend

who speaks your mind ♪

♪ Bah bah bah

♪ Anytime

♪ Bah ba-woo

♪ When you've got

♪ A special friend

by your side ♪

♪ Bah bah bah

♪ For the ride

♪ Bah ba-woo

♪ 'cause the world's a funny

place when you're dumfounded ♪

♪ And you've got

♪ A special friend

who speaks your mind ♪

♪ Bah bah bah

♪ Anytime

♪ Bah ba-woo

♪ La la la la la la

♪ La la la la la la la

When the show

"America's Got Talent" was on,

I stopped watching when

the last juggler got eliminated.

I'm hearing that a ventriloquist

won that, and good for them.