Dumbeast (2009) - full transcript

An editor arrives at a Sumo village to find the missing award-nominated writer Deko just in time to bring him to an award ceremony. There, the editor learns that Deko's weird friends have been desperately trying to kill him because of the book Deko wrote about their embarrassing memories. Despite their countless attempts at murder, Deko's dumbness keeps him from even noticing his friends' intentions.

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DumBeast

Welcome to Tokiwa
"Sumo Town"

Written by
Kankuro Kudo

Yokozuna Taxi

Tadanobu Asano

Kazuki Kitamura



Yoko Maki

Gigolo Club

Aimi Satsukawa

Yoko Minamino

Yusuke Santamaria

Directed by
Hideaki Hosono

The story was serialized
in this magazine...

then published as a book.
Didn't you know?

Women don't read such filth.

We're a major publication
selling 800,000 copies a week.

What's wrong?

Jesus... it's pissing down.

No kiddie sumo tomorrow.

I'll help myself to mayonnaise.



What's this?

Who's the chick?

This is a gigolo club, right?

Yes.

Where are the gigolos?

Here!

Any here?

Only Mr. Eda himself.

There were once 10 of 'em.

But they all quit.

Once, "number one"...

now, "only one".
Nicely put.

Want some squid, honey?

I'm looking for someone.

Do you know Dekogawa Ryuji,
the writer?

You're Mr. Okamoto, right?

Do you know Dekogawa Ryuji?

Yes, I do.

No, I don't!

- Which is it?
- What?

What do you mean, "what"...
and why lie?

Who are you?

Squid mayo on my pants!

Luckily missing my tentacles!

She's from the Weekly Digest...

I'm Shizuka. Mr. Dekogawa's editor.

"Dumb... Dumb..."

"Dumb Creature"?

Have you read it?

I'm not the book-reading type.

It's been nominated for a big prize.

We called with the good news.

It went to voice mail.

We visited him but
he'd not been home in months.

Super Heavy - Gigolo Club

The papers made it into
quite a story.

Top Writer Missing

Find him or we'll never win
another prize. Got it?

Yes.

I found out he was from here.

In 1969. You, he and Mr. Eda
were classmates.

It's a small town of under 10,000.
He's a local lad made good.

In light of this, I repeat.

Are you familiar with Mr. Dekogawa?

I'm familiar.

Eda, big news!

What? I'm in training.

Apparently Deko's back!

- Deko?
- Yeah.

Mom saw him in the supermarket
yesterday.

Which one?

Dunno... why do you ask?

I'm not familiar.

Why do you lie to me?

'Cause you're yelling at me...

I'm not mad. Just asking a question.

What are you doing?

For chrissakes...

Why did you just touch me?

No idea. Maybe the way
you thrust them at me.

I did not thrust them.

Then just because
they were there.

You're not grown-up enough
to stop yourself?

No idea. I just did it. Deal with it!

I'm supposed to accept that?

No idea. They were just there.

What's your problem?

It's just...

it's the first time
I've been groped by a cop.

Let it go. My job's got nothing
to do with it.

What's going on?

Hi, I'm Nora.

I'm so hungry.

Who's this? A customer?

May I have your name again?

Little me?

I'm Nora.

You should know, then.

Voila.

Your handwriting, correct?

It was found in Dekogawa's office.

Don't assume I'm a gullible female.

She said "voila".

Please don't mention that.

"Don't try any funny business".

I didn't say that!

Voila.

Sorry to be late.

Well, thanks for visiting
this shit-hole in a downpour.

I'm Eda, the owner.
Nora, Dom Perignon for the lady.

- Alrighty.
- Don't worry about me.

Oh, she's from the Weekly...

Yes, yes... something about
a missing writer?

I didn't see any articles
about it, though.

Just nude pics of my mistress...

Really?

I thought she looked familiar.

God, how I missed the excitement...!

There goes an injection of excitement.

May we get down
to the matter at hand?

Of course.

This is our contract
with Mr. Dekogawa.

Look here.

Mr. Eda, you are named
as the recipient of royalties.

It has your seal on it, too.

He went missing
after it was settled.

This amounts to undeniable evidence
that you were somehow involved.

You're saying that I'm a suspect.

That I killed the novelist.

Speaking plainly, yes.

I did kill him.

25 years ago.

It's no laughing matter.

Where is he?

Now, now, Miss Shizuka, don't
start thrusting your tits about.

When was it that Deko came back?

Eda, don't...

He was here, then?

Your kid was still
in elementary school, right?

Maybe last summer...

July, maybe...

World's No. 1 Gigolo

Closing up?

Closing already?

Not really. We just opened...

That was a tough break.
Attacked by crows...

Are you... Deko?

Hey, Eda.

Huh, Deko?

Hey, Oka...

Oka... Okada, right?

No, no, it's Okamoto.

I'm Okamoto!

Imagine getting attacked
by crows...

You already said that.

Can I come in?

Yes, sure.

I can, right?

Sure. It's just kinda weird.

After 25 years...
No kiddin'... you are Deko, right?

Why the big pause just now?

It's just "Deko"... haven't
heard that name in ages.

I just said, 25 years.

So you smoke, huh?

No, I don't.

It is Deko after all.

Deko, is beer okay?

"Beer"?

Oh... I know, beer.

It is Deko...

This is my girl, Junko.

Please.

She's ugly.

Don't mind Deko, eh?

You haven't changed.

Why today?

Why did you suddenly turn up?

Deko?

Why, all of a sudden?

On a whim, after the crow attack, eh?

It's not important. Let's toast.

I got changed.

Looks good.

I'm putting her to work
as a sumo bunny-girl.

What for?

Who is she?

What's your name again?

I'm Nora.

Got to work off her debt
for all the Dom Peri she guzzled.

Hey, Deko... she takes your fancy?

I'm going home.

Why?

Maybe a little longer.

Of course. After so many years.

I was attacked by crows.
They're jet-black, you know...

Oh, neat.

The party never kicked off
but he wouldn't leave either.

It was a long night,
then we adjourned...

Police Station

Deko...

This area's changed, eh?

You're right.

We fished for catfish
in the pond out back, eh?

I don't remember.

You don't? Maybe not...

What about his secret hideout?

Right, Deko's secret library.

Pre-fab palace world porn collection.

Japanese and American, mostly.

He was jerking off
and you let a dog loose.

The dog was your handiwork.
I did the wasp nest.

Then the wasps...

stung his prick and
it swelled up like a balloon.

Was it me who called the ambulance?

I don't remember.

You called an ambulance?
Cheers.

Well, it's a long time ago.
How could you remember...

I'll always remember...

- Deko's 3rd nipple.
- The 3rd nipple.

You announced that his tits
were as soft as a girl's.

Not that we'd ever felt any.

At recess, everyone lined up.

10 minutes for 100 yen.

Yeah. 100 yen for 10 minutes' squeezing.

A totally random price.

It was a bargain.
They were so soft.

Then you proclaimed
he had a 3rd nipple.

He did, I once licked it. Right?
Didn't I lick that 3rd nipple of yours?

You don't remember, eh?

Sorry.

You're Eda, right?

Yeah.

I'm Eda.

I guess so. Maybe
I'm not sure anymore.

Have faith in yourself.
You'll always be Eda.

You forget these things.

Plus living out here, we've nothing
better to do than reminisce.

Right, Eda?

I'm going to the store.

Hey!

Dekogawa Ryuji's "DumBeast"

"Dumb... Dumb..."

"Dumb Creature"?

"Creature"...?

Why sumo?

- 'Cause it's a "sumo town"?
- Keep going! Show some fighting spirit!

Do you need a reason?

Yes, I think you do.

Anyway, I tried to keep the story
serialization secret from Eda.

Why?

It's obvious.

'Cause I'd go ballistic.

Ow!

What the hell's this?
What's going on?

Wow, Deko became a writer?
Cool, eh?

Should get his autograph.

You knew, eh?

No, I didn't.

Yes, I did. Sorry.

It's obviously all about you and me.
That bastard.

But he was mindful of us.

In what way?

Here... look.

"A coming-of-age tale
in a forgotten backwater,"

"featuring two social retards,
Emoto and Okada." See?

Emoto and Okada, different spelling.

People will know!

Anyone local could tell at a glance.
You dick.

You reckon?

Don't tell me...

he's planning to write
about that incident?

Meaning?

God help us...

Go get him.

Go on.

Huh?

So anyways, what are
you up to at the moment?

Eating edamame...

That's not what I meant.
Work wise?

Oh, a bit of this and that.

How about you?

Oh, same as ever.

Paid too little.

Separated from the wife.

She lets me see
the kid twice a week.

Domestically, Eda's doing well.

I heard you were writing a novel.

A novel?

Serialized in some magazine.

Right?

I'm not a writer.

Me?

A novel?

Impossible.

No way I could do that.

Really? I see...

Of course not.

Don't play dumb with us!
Look, your name's on it.

Oka, let it go.

I can't let it go. I don't get it.

If it ain't Deko,
then who's writing it, huh?

I said, let it go. It's not him.

Okay?

Right.

Damn right, jerk.

C'mon, apologize to him.

Deko, sorry.

Sorry about that.

We live cooped up in this
remote part of the world.

Always suspecting the worst in people.

I understand.

You've been festering away out here.

Not exactly festering but...

Jerk.

Deko... y'know...

Tokyo made me a loser.

Tokyo made me a loser

In the end, life's a losing game

Reference to Kinnikuman's
(Sumo Manga) "Garlic Meter"

Way to go, Eda!

What the hell is that?

My big single.

Tearful stuff, eh?

His song in support
of us country folk.

10,000 copies, limited indie release,
a decade ago.

So he hid the fact
he was writing a novel?

Yeah, but it was obvious.

That jerk lied to us!

It's all right there.

The wasp nest, the 3rd nipple...

My yakuza abduction in Tokyo.
Really well done.

It's written as Emoto, not Eda.

That's not the point! My business
depends on reputation.

Put him straight.

I will. Tell him straight.

Quit writing.

"Be a dear. Stop the novel. Peace out."

Maybe a text wasn't the best idea.

Eda said the same.

Why not talk to him yourself?

Me?

Bowing my head to that jerk? No way.

Eda tried to talk to him
a bunch of times.

But in the end...

C'mon! Bring it on!

Eda...!

Get off me!
Is that all you've got!?

What's with the sumo?

'Cause he's a yokozuna.

That's right. Greatest champ
ever in our kiddie sumo competition!

Now you bring it up,
I must tell the whole story...

Briefly, I beg you.

Once...

this town was split East and West
by the railroad,

with two elementary schools.

Now with depopulation
they've merged.

But they used to hold
separate sumo tournaments.

That year they decided to match
the two yokozuna champions.

Eda was the East champion.
Deko was the West's.

It was a 13 minute bout.
A thing of legend.

Eda got him to the edge of the ring.

His specialty over-arm throw
won the day.

Where's he gone?

It did, yeah...

Sorry, I told her everything.
Briefly, too.

- Sorry.
- Dekogawa was that strong?

I'm surprised.

Deko? Not strong at all.

But he was West champion...

Deko was, yeah.

But the other was weaker than me.

Ah, I see.

This one's getting her Deko's muddled.

Then explain it properly,
for chrissakes.

What does it mean?

There were two of them.

Two?

A guy we called "Deko"...

because he looked like Dekogawa.

This gets more confusing.

But nicknames are like that.

Resemble a monkey,
your name's "monkey".

It's a nickname?

It's not his real name?

Not at all. It was Sato
or Sasaki or something...

Hang on. What was Deko's
real name?

The Western Deko
really was Dekogawa.

In middle school Dekogawa
and Deko finally met.

Who are you?

Deko.

Who are you?

Dekogawa.

What was he like?
The Western Deko?

Hard to put it in words.

But he resembled our writer?

He was hard to describe, too.

I'm just not getting this.

Kind of geeky?

Nope.

- A dim-wit?
- Nope.

- A jerk.
- Too obvious.

A dumb-nuts?

- Nope.
- But it made you think?

Well, they're all right.

Hmm, yeah.

Dim-witted, geeky, dumb-nut jerks.
Both of them.

What does that Western guy do now...?

He died.

25 years ago.
7th grade, summer vacation.

Just like in the book.

The rules are simple.

First one across the bridge wins.

There's 1 train in each direction
every 30 minutes.

Deko.

Win and we'll change your name.
What'll it be?

Wolf.

"Wolf"? Whatever...

But lose and you're Deko for life.

Eda, what if I win?

Feel Deko's tits as long as you like.

Okay.

Wrestlers ready.

Fight!

What's the time?

7:08 pm.

Shouldn't it be dark?

It's 7, look.

Can't doubt a digital watch.

Ouch!

It's 5 o'clock, you jerk.
17:00 means 5:00 pm!

Really? I thought it was 7 pm.

There's a train at 5:10 pm.

Come back!

Dekogawa, come back. You'll get hit!

For chrissakes...

When the train stopped
there was no trace of him.

Deko...

Just his shredded sumo belt
dancing on the breeze.

"It should've been you that died"

...it seemed to say to me.

25 years have passed.

I've had the nerve
to keep on living.

But the real me died that day
on top of that bridge.

I'm no longer really human.

"Physically, I kept growing
but an emotionless, dumb beast."

"That's my real nature."

"...To be continued."

It keeps going?

That bastard's really opened
Pandora's box.

A panty box?

What do we do?

This makes out that we killed him.

Well, we did.

It was an accident. Sorry.

Accident... whatever, the bastard!

Why now... at this crucial moment?

Crucial moment?

Yes.

Election for the chair of the kiddie
sumo committee.

A new chairman every 4 years.

Eda's a leading candidate this year.

Are you mocking us?

- Not at all.
- Yes, you are.

You're thinking "how trivial".

I'm not... it's just...

That kiddie sumo thing...

I realize it means a lot to you guys.

You don't get it, do you?

The chairman gets to preside over...

the championship ceremonial bow ritual.

Ceremonial bow ritual?

Which ensures the health
of the townsfolk.

It's the climax of the tournament.

It's also a great honor.

Here we go!

Nora, what do you think of Deko?

Like how gross he is and stuff?

No, whether you like him or not.

Well... if hell-freezes-over!

You still owe me money, right?

So you love him, okay?

You love Deko.

You're in love with him.

Right?

Then go out with him.

Deko really cheered up.

Became all full of himself.

Loved showing off
his cute young girlfriend.

They were soon
practically living together.

He moved back here full-time.

We figured he couldn't write any longer.

We were all relieved.

He's still churning out pages,
you jerk!

Look. He's on a roll... two extra pages!

Nora, aren't you keeping an eye on him?

Yes. We're together all day. Then
I drink him under the table at night.

When does he get time to write?

What about sex?

Drop it.

2 or 3 times a week.

Not sufficient.

Not nearly enough.

You're 20, right? Keep at it.

Persevere. Distract him.

Morning, noon and night.
Yo-yo sex.

Yo-yo sex...

Yes, yo-yo sex! Lot's of it!

Miss Shizuka, you okay?

I'm fine.

Sure? Really sure?

Gonna cry?

Will you?

In fact, she already is.

I'm not crying.

So you were in love with Deko?

How did you know?

It's obvious. Even to me.

Is that right...

Er... y'know like... I'm sowwy...

Time for girl-talk?

It's true, I did love him once.

Ms. Junko...

You're the one most likely
to understand.

Did Eda really...

Kill Dekogawa?

Eda is the only man I've known.

Mr. Eda

We've been lovers since 16.
20 years already.

I'm a one-man woman.

He's a married man
with many other lovers, right?

Aren't you just being strung along?

Ms. Junko, it's not an equal relationship.

You even put "Mr." on the tattoo.

It was when Akira
started working for him.

Who's Akira?

A gigolo he later fired.

More Chinese than anybody
but look at what you serve!

Soup with soup noodles...
are you nuts?

You want to drown 'em in soup, jerk.

Closing up?

Go home. You're fired.

Y'know, it's fascinating, especially
when you guys appear.

Really.

I must buy the paperback.

I was meaning to talk to you.

Deko...

About royalties.

Know what I mean?

I've got a right to them, I reckon.

You agree?

Not all of them but a percentage.

It makes sense. It's my story, too.

And without consultation
written up in major weekly...

Following me?

I know I used to bully you, but...

you don't have to bring it up now.

You understand?

Do you really get it?

Of course I do.

You're short of cash, right?

Business is bad. Nora told me.

Your store and restaurant failed.

Business can be tough.

What are you saying?

It's all about money.

If you can get it,
grab it with both hands.

You've got a right to it
so stake your claim.

With who?

With the writer.

That's what I'm doing, you jerk!

Me?

Me?

I'm just me.

You're really looking after me.

If there's anything I can do,
just let me know.

It began that night.

We set up "Mission HQ"
in a love hotel by the highway.

Gotcha! Yes!

Shall we do it?

Junko, what I'm about to say is secret.

Don't tell Nora, Akira, nor Oka, too.

This is our secret.

Just for you and me.

Let's...

No! We can't!

Up until now I've gone along
with everything.

I've aided blackmail and car-theft...

but not murder!

I never said murder, did I?

Really.

What were you going to say?

Murdle.

"Murdle"?

Less scary than murder, eh?

Murdle...

It's kinda cute.

Me and you.

We'll murdle Deko.

Murdle Deko...

It'll be a murdle muddle.

Sumo Match Sold Out

So we started getting ready.

Researching murder
on the internet.

We bought rodenticide
from America.

"Rodenticide"?

Rat poison... from an exterminator.

Akira had just started
at Eda's burger joint.

How old are you?

Such a childish gag.

Changing "r" into "g"...

"Eda's Bugger".

I can't even get angry, you jerk!

Darling...

Go home. You're fired.

For real this time.

Never come back!

One capful kills 10 rats.

You mean "murdles" them.

Sorry.

Are we really doing this?

Poison's the most logical way.

It hides any proof inside the body.

Darling...

Junko.

Listen.

Mix it in Deko's whisky.

Making him drink it, is my job.

You just mix the drink.

And remember...

I'd never seen him so earnest.

And all that earnestness...

focused only on me...

Sorry to go on about it...

but don't tell Nora or Oka.

Me...

and you are going it alone.

Nice, Junko!

You're going to kill Deko?

Eda told us. With poison, eh?

That's cool. Here's a present.

To keep your hair under control.

Can I watch? Or even film it?

Nora, come see this.

What is it?

What the hell?
You changed your story.

In case he resists, it's good
to have back-up.

You think they're dependable?

Oh wow! It curves to the left!

I'm a southpaw, y'know.
Don't crowd him. Get a decent pic.

Wow-wee!

We don't know 'til we try, jerk!

I've got it figured out, Junko.

Thug that I am, I can't overburden
the woman I love.

"Love"...

Darling.

Closing up?

Closing already?

Not at all. Come drink.

Right?

Deko. Come. Drink.

Anything up?

Nah, nothing.

Oh, the beer's not cold yet.
Whisky, okay?

I'll go get it.

I'll go help.

Take a seat, please.

C'mon, sit, sit...

- You're being too kind.
- Don't worry about it.

It feels kinda weird.

Nonsense. Just like always.

Okay.

What's that?

Well, I've been thinking what could
succeed where your restaurant failed.

Soup curry?

It's huge in Tokyo but
hasn't reached here, right?

I think it'll do really well.

Been planning this long?

It's been on my mind for ages.

Since you've been so good to me.

Deko... you're a great guy.

Scotch and water.

Thank you.

By the way...

What?

For Junko.

For me?

Nora told me
about your chapped hands.

It's a good moisturizer, apparently.

Thank you.

And for you, my friend.

What is it?

Well...

'Cause you hadn't seen your kid
in a while.

I didn't know how old he was.

Middle school next year.

Is that right?

I messed up again.

No, I'll use it.
I'm always drooling.

This is so nice.

Hanging out with old school buddies.
It's what life's about.

Deko...

Guys, really...

let's toast to eternal friendship.

Kanpai!

Why drink like that?

I'm just so excited.

Getting back to our talk.

Working with old friends...

You feel anything?

Good night.

You're going?

Can't I?

How about another?

Make it stronger this time.

Nora.

Yes.

We gave him 6 or 7 poisoned Scotches.

You've done well to tell me this.

Let's go to the police.

Don't worry. Eda is obviously
the mastermind.

You were coerced into doing it.

Deko didn't die!

Excuse me?

He did not die.

For several days after that...

I poured gallons of that stuff
down his throat.

What?

And as for the magazine story...

How come?

How come?

How...?

How come?

Closing up?

I don't feel so good these days.

A good strong one, please.

Maybe you better go easy?

I can't sleep otherwise.

I'm in pain.

Right away.

But he didn't die.

A good night's sleep
and I'm good to go!

He got better?

He didn't die and kept coming back.

Great, hit me again!

Eda and I were exhausted.

Then one day,

Eda proposed we take a break
at a hot spring.

A hot spring?

First trip we'd taken
in 20 years of our association.

I was on cloud nine.

I really wanted to be taken care of.

What a lovely view.

Whatever.

Say, let's eat our lunch here. Okay?

Hold your horses.
What if someone sees us.

It was Wolfsbane.

Of course, I tried to stop him.

I knew it was deadly poison.

But...

What is it?

Nothing at all.

Eda had lost his mind.

I'll kill him this time for sure!

Shoosh!

Closing up?

No.

We were awaiting you.

Junko.

Please eat.

What's this?

A Chop Suey Pancake...

I've no appetite these days.

She made it especially.

Booze alone will make you sick.

Right, even one mouthful.

Should I feed you?

What's up? Did you poison it?

Eat.

Here I go.

It's good.

Tasty. What is it?

Good is it?
Hear that, Junko?

Wow! What a great tasting combo...
Chop Suey and pancakessss...!

Get the car.

What?

Throw him into the river.

Who?

You.

"You"?

Oh, me?

Pull yourself together.
And don't get caught, retard!

So he's been murdered?

Apparently.

"Apparently"? It's a murder case!

I need more time.
I'll be back tomorrow.

Sorry about that.

I regret it all!

To think they'd kill him...

after he'd been so nice to me.

Tell me, Auntie.

Is it...

the death penalty for me?

Where's the body?

Body?

They took him in the car, right?

Where did the dead Dekogawa
end up? Understand?

He didn't die.

Come again?

Closing up?

Closing already?

Seems that the drive did him good.

Sorry I made a mess.

Where's Eda?

He felt ill and went home.

Oh, dear...

After all he's done for me.

So, he didn't realize
he'd nearly been murdered?

Not at all.

Could he have been that dumb?

I guess it was in November...

We had a little upset.

Upset?

Maybe it was December.

Huh?

What was Akira doing?

Akira?

Network marketing.

So it was November.

Your damn soap
gave me a chemical burn!

I was just trying to wash
my damn hands, you jerk!

I can't find it.

What?

Your seal. It was right here.

Get lost and never come back, jerk.

What is it?
What's going on?

Nothing.

Don't tell me...

What is it?

He's trying to get life insurance
for Deko.

Eda, that's criminal, y'know.

Insurance or not,
it's still a crime, idiot.

Since we're killing him,
might as well profit.

Watch it!

What're you doing?

Give it back or I'll stab you!

It wasn't me. I put it back
after I got his insurance.

For chrissakes, I've had enough!

I'll kill you and go to the police.

Tell 'em everything I know!

Really?

Talk all you want. It'll be him
listening.

I already know everything.

Goddamn...!

Maybe it was Deko.

He was fiddling around there
the other day.

Opening and closing things...

Closing up?

I'm fed up.

The insurance guy woke me up
at 2:00am.

Who got insurance for me?

Give me the seal.

The seal?

Oh, the seal...

This?

You had it?

I just borrowed it.

It's his official seal.
What did you do with it?

It's a secret...

So the seal was taken in November?

That must be it.

The contract's dated Nov. 28th.

See, to wire the royalties to Eda.

So he did it himself?

He wasn't in a fit state
to be writing a novel.

Junko told me...

What?

That Eda's trying to poison me.

What do you think?

About what?

Mr. Eda would hardly do that.

Precisely.

He and I are best friends.

I know he's not that kind of guy.

Of course you do. Here you go.

It's not Eda. It's Junko.

She's not right in the head.

Give me another.

He redefines the word dumb.

You're right.

So stupid it made me laugh.

So, did you tell Eda?

Of course not.

Otherwise he'd kill Junko.

So you did tell him?

Yep.

Okay, Nora.

It's just our secret.

Me and you.

The two of us...

Junko's turn...

Eek!

To be bumped off.

It was December 9th.

We had a party for Junko's birthday.

Okamoto was off buying presents.

Eda and I were preparing for the party.

Happy Birthday!

Amazing. Nora made this?

Yes, cakes are my specialty.

Looks great. Junko, take a bite.

Together 20 years. Amazing...
since childhood...

You were so cute.
Who'd think it'd come to this?

It's been a long journey.

The one constant,
my lasting love for you.

Wow! What a cute couple!

Thank you.

Easier to cut
with the lights on, eh?

Closing up?

Deko...

Lights were out,
so I thought you were closed.

Wow, cake. Looks good.

Wait!

Junko, you next!

I've got a present. Just for you.

What is it?

I just got it.

Here we go... your present.

What the hell's this?

A Teddy Bear. Akira made it
from my old blanket.

For chrissakes...

I'm not wasting money
on someone who's gonna die!

What do you mean?

See?

Look, a lovely bear!
All fluffy and cozy, eh?

You were going to kill me?

Hang on a second.

Don't get so worked up.

You'll get all ugly.

You're ugly when you're angry.

I don't want to get ugly.

I'd rather die than turn ugly.

Ouch!

The ugly woman hit me!

How about an apology?

It's your fault he's in pain.
It was supposed to be you.

You turned traitor.

It's because you're
an annoying goody-goody!

The shit hit the fan.

"What does that mean?"

That's what Nora would say, isn't it?

I'm different.

Ask me anything.

So this time, Dekogawa...

As fit as a fiddle.

Aware of nearly being killed?

He didn't notice.

On the contrary...

Junko...

I don't know what's
got into you.

But if you try to hurt Eda again,

I will not stand idly by.

It was a big shock.

He'd got this deep bond
with Eda out of nowhere.

With one thing and another...

the book publishing date loomed.

That was awful.

I never imagined it'd kick off
with such terrible timing.

"DumBeast" now on sale!

"DumBeast" is now on sale!

"DumBeast" on sale!

Rumors were already rife
'cause of the magazine.

But from that day
people regarded us differently.

Eda was denounced
at the youth club.

All talk of him becoming
sumo chairman, vanished.

Who did that ceremonial bow ritual?

Well... someone else.

The local hero, the man of the hour...

It was a big scene.

It was unbearable for Eda.

Here we go!

Happy New Year, guys.

Hey.

Heck, they asked me out of the blue...

I told 'em they'd got the wrong guy.

Said I didn't write no novel.

But they keep asking me to do stuff.

A little while later,

I guess she finally gave up on Eda...

I got a call from Junko.

From Ms. Junko?

Yes.

Said she was heading to Tokyo.

"I'm going to be re-born".

I took her to the station myself.

You're taking that?

Yeah.

My first and last ever present
from Eda.

Although originally a blanket of mine.

You should flee, too.

What?

I'm going to the publisher,
I'm telling them everything.

Really?

Eda is finished.

He's already rotten.

But you and I are different.
We can start again.

No, I'm as rotten as him.

But you've got family, right?

You wouldn't upset your
wife and kid, would you?

I already have. They couldn't care
if I dropped dead.

That's not true.

I'm fine. Don't worry.

Eda's the only friend I have.

Even if he's rotten, he's my friend.

Train's here. Get going.

Farewell.

But she came back again, right?

That's right.

Said she would meet the publisher...

Right. I guess she must have.

May I tell you my story?

Lower it a little.

Great, nice... nice.

Yes, beautiful!

Wow, gorgeous!

Do excuse me...

Even better!

That bitch.

So much for being "re-born".

Keep going.

Early spring, Eda called me up.

I feel like I killed 5 or 6 guys.

I'm just dead to the pain.

So, when do we do it?

Me and you, killing Deko...

I've been thinking...

He's our classmate... I get emotional...
my conscience pricks...

Read this before you say that.

You read it?

It's terrible. My character, Emoto...

gets his hair torched,
acid in his face from his lover...

she fakes a car crash, runs him over...

What about me?

You die.

Honestly?

You croak it, halfway through.

Doctors find a malignant tumor.

You die on the next page.

He could've killed me properly.
That's annoyingly realistic.

Maybe I need a check-up.

This is what's really infuriating.

- What's that?
- The "epilogue".

"This novel is based in truth."

The inspirational characters
for Emoto and Okada...

exist to this day in the town.

Although they took the life
of a poor youth,

they neither look back
nor regret what they've done.

That's the way people are.

People are the dumbest beasts of all.

I wasn't too fond of that epilogue, either.

You guys hadn't forgotten
that day at all.

On the contrary, that incident
was the ultimate taboo.

The unmentionable past.

It's not that I'm blaming you.

Producing an interesting novel
is your job, isn't it.

And it's not so much about
what he wrote.

It's just that for Eda,
it's unacceptable.

Like he's been singled-out.

Here's him festering in the boonies,

while Deko's the big novelist.

And since the new year, he lost
the kiddie sumo, his only comfort.

It's just unbearable.

Missing Writer Nominated
for Newcomer Award

What to do, Mr. Okada?

I wonder.

You're not Okada, jerk.

That was a total slip of the tongue.

I'm confused.

Maybe I am Okada.
God, I'm hungry.

The "Missing Writer" is
in my bar every damn night.

Maybe kill him in a staged carwreck...

Dubious...

We analyze tire treads
pretty well these days.

Set fire to him in a fake suicide?

Arrest rate for arson is very high.

We figure out
the pyro-dynamics.

Weight him down and throw
him in the sea, then?

What's wrong?

I can't break eggs.
I can't make an omelet!

Oka...

Forget it, Eda...

A man who can't make an omelet
will never make a killer.

We'll get caught for sure.
We'll never escape arrest!

Don't worry.

You already got away with it once.

Shut up.

You killed him.

If you'd not mistaken 17:00 with 7:00pm,

Dekogawa wouldn't have died.

You killed him.

It's done. It's over, Eda, you bastard!

What's up?

Ran him over... in the car!

Lured him into the mountains...
front impact... wham!

Slammed him up in the air,
into a tree, wham!

Finished him off
with a shovel on the head, whack!

Flipped him over
and for good measure, whack!

Though I say so myself...
it was a good job.

Akira's one tough dude.

He did it all.

What about you?

Me?

I dug the hole.

The hole?

To bury the body... of course.

Okay but no one saw you, right?

Yeah... as I dug the hole.

Some guys said "nice work"...

Nice work.

Thanks.

It's damn hard work.

Too right, it was.
'Cause I'd dug nearly 15 feet.

They ended up helping me.

How about this?

Maybe a little more?

Then, I buried Deko in it.

Shoosh!

Junko...

"Closing up?"

Just kidding...

You're back, huh?

Tokyo wasn't such a big deal.

You're filthy.

He just killed Deko and buried him.

Really?

15 feet under. If he gets out of that
he's a goddamn mole.

Here, souvenirs.

Tokyo Banana Cakes!

Tokyo Bananas... let's eat.

Eda?

Let's go check it out.

Thinking about it...

What?

It's just...

Thinking about it...
I feel sorry for him.

No one to talk to but us.

We'll never see him again.

If only he hadn't written that novel.

Honey?

Don't just watch. Help me.

You dug him up?

I didn't understand it, myself.

I hadn't slept in days. I was upset.

It seems odd to say but...

What?

I wanted him back alive.

That is odd.

Yeah...

You're right.

Eda, you're chucking soil back in.

You're burying him.

Goddamn idiot.

Why am I doing this?

Why helping him?

What am I doing?

I'll go turn myself in.

You guys head back.

Eda...

Not after coming all this way. Okay?

Get some sleep.
You're tired, right?

Tired?

If I'm not tired, is it the right thing?

It can't be the right thing.

That's why we're burying
and unburying...

You are tired.

Shut the hell up!

I'll tell you when I'm tired!

So don't say that.

You're late.

I figured you'd already closed.

We weren't closed...

Eda...

But we are now.

What a surprise.
I woke up underground.

Must've fallen in a hole
during my sleep.

Sorry, I helped myself.

Man's power of survival
is a scary thing.

So where is he now?

I figured it all out.

What?

How come Deko wouldn't die.

Closing up?

Really closing?

Yes, we are. Don't come back!

Let's hang out.

You guys are my buddies.

No, we're not. Who are you?

Whatever... let's have one drink.

First tell us if you're writing that novel.

I'm not... there's no way I could.

He wasn't Deko.

Then who was he?

He was Dekogawa.

Don't you get it yet, Miss Shizuka?

The Western Dekogawa.

In the novel,
the guy who charged the train.

He didn't die after all.

He was still alive.

Give me a drink!

Gimme a drink!

Dekogawa...

We're closing.

I've got to get a drink!

Now I'm back to life.

Oka, handcuff him.

Water was his weakness, huh?

He's just tired.

Sorry, Dekogawa.

It's just the way things are with us.

We just want regular lives.

It's great you returned to see us.

But things can't be how they once were.

You hanging around is a pain.

You bring back too many memories.

As I am now... this is the only way.

Oka...

Okamoto?

Hey...

Where am I?

As if you don't know.

The rail bridge.

Correct. Takes you back?

It takes me back.

I've not been here since.

Where's Eda?

He went home already.

Since we've never had time
just the two of us.

That's right.

I know how to tell you apart,
Deko and Dekogawa.

The 3rd nipple...

Remember, the one I found
when we all felt Deko's tits?

I don't remember.

Show me.

Don't... that tickles... stop!

Stop it already...

You don't have it.

Sorry. It ain't there.

Shall I let you go?

In return...

tell me the truth.

Deko, did you write that novel?

I did.

That hurts...

Don't act dumb!
If you're in pain, show it.

So long.

You can run now.

Okamoto...

I'm sorry.

Okamoto...

Eda...

I'm sorry.

Deko!

We'd like to apologize
for the inconvenience.

There was an obstruction...

Mr. Dekogawa was killed...

by the train I was riding.

If only I'd arrived a day earlier.

Newcomer Award to Dekogawa Ryuji

But Prized Writer Still Missing

Darling...

Hey...

Deko...

Mr. Dekogawa.

It's me, Shizuka...

Closing up?

Closing already?

Not at all.

Wolf...

English Subtitles by
Kennedy Taylor & Aya Futami

Subtitle timing, editing and additions
for this version by famitsu1

Invaluable translation assistance from
chochoc, harryumotust

Special thanks to
ikeda69

Way to go, Deko!

Directed by
Hideaki Hosono