Ducobu 3 (2020) - full transcript
New back to school for Ducobu student. But this year, a major rival for Ducobu arrives at school: "TGV", the king of cheating. The two dunces will have to unite their creativity to win a song contest and save their school.
- Get up, son, it's back to school!
...
He moans.
When are you going to grow up?
- Never !
...
- Gustave !
Ton slip !
- My fetish briefs!
- Washed and ironed.
...
- Come on!
...
Laughs
Alarm
...
He knocks on the door.
...
- It's okay, I heard you!
Did you fall out of bed?
- I missed you.
- Did you have a bad vacation?
- No, but two months on the pill,
that's five minutes.
You look superb,
Mr. Director.
- Phew!
- I would say you've become younger.
Looks like a vigorous young bamboo.
- Do not start
your sycophancy.
I haven't slept for 2 months
and lost 10 kilos.
-It emanates from you
a joy of living.
- What emerges from me
is my wife.
She left with a surfer.
- Oh...
Consternation.
- Keep it to yourself.
You will need it.
I have very bad news for
you.
- Is the start of the school year postponed?
Playful music
...
- Where are we going ?
Are we going back on vacation?
- Hey no.
I'll take you to school.
- Oh !
Ooh!
- Oh well then!
- What is he doing?
Oh, son!
Come back here ! Come back !
- I hope you have
charged the batteries well.
You will need it.
- You are beautiful,
my lion of the Alps.
Little laugh
- Miss Rateau, please keep
decent behavior.
We are not in Romeo and Juliet.
- The director is right.
Here, it is the school of knowledge.
And not vice!
- Please excuse me.
It will not happen again.
- I hope, my nightingale.
Let's keep the limits ...
- Don't overdo it either.
Good.
I'll get right to the point.
- Direct and precise.
- But you are going to complete it, Latouche!
Where was I?
Ah yes, there you go.
The budgets allocated to the renovation
of the school are blocked.
Sighs
As a result,
the leaky roof will not be repaired,
just like the radiators
defective
and the staircase shaking.
Protests
This is not the worst.
To meet urgent expenses,
I had to sell on Leboncoin
sports equipment,
instruments ...
- My flutes?
- Don't look like that.
You can blackmail them.
The voice is a beautiful instrument.
- Approbation !
Yeah.
The bell rings.
Playful music
- Karine !
- Leonie!
...
- How I missed you so much!
- It's clear!
- Oh...
Did you have a good vacation?
- It's clear.
- Me too.
I had too much fun with Ducobu.
Apart from one thing that gets me drunk:
our parents go out together.
They think we don't know.
- It's not clear.
- But the worst part
is that if they get married,
Ducobu will become my half-brother.
We won't be able to love each other anymore.
- It's clear!
But Ducobu told you he loved you?
- No, he doesn't dare tell me.
It's still a boy.
But I know he loves me.
- It's clear.
-He even promised me to mature.
- It's not clear.
- He said he was going to work
and that he would not cheat again.
- Non!
I don't want to go back to school!
I want to go back on vacation!
- Ah! I see you are
in an excellent state of mind, Ducobu.
That's good.
I'm motivated.
The reed bends,
but never breaks.
Go about your business,
Mr. Ducobu.
I'll take care of your toddler,
trust me.
Have a great day.
- Thank you, Mr. Latouche.
Come on.
Works well.
- Hi Dad.
Strident voice
- Everyone in line!
Terracotta breakage
- Ah! Hello.
- Hello.
What's wrong ?
- I prefer that we remain discreet.
I wouldn't want to disturb
the children when they are back to school.
- Okay,
but we'll have to tell them.
- Yes one day.
Brouhaha
- Silence !
I don't want to hear
a fly fly!
A fly is buzzing.
...
Moans of disgust
It is a pivotal year
for Saint-Potache.
We have the choice
between succeeding or succeeding!
I chose the 2nd choice.
But also the first.
Do not mistake yourself.
It's my choice !
- Hair on the finger.
Laughs
- Last year, I was lax.
From now on, I will be uncompromising!
- Hair to the teeth!
Laughs
- Do you like hairy hair, Ducobu?
You're going to have some.
In class !
Alarm
Go! Go! Go !
You settle down.
Calm music
...
Intriguing music
...
- Hi, new one.
You didn't know, but ... you're in my shoes.
- Whoever goes hunting
loses his place.
- I won it
by the sweat of my brow.
- Do you have any proof?
- Yes.
It is I who engraved these bars.
I remained a prisoner
217 days at this place.
- Hm ... You're lucky then,
I'll let you go.
- This is the place of the dunce.
...
And I'm the biggest dunce
the school has ever known.
- Maybe you were,
but it's over.
I take your place.
- Ducobu!
I want you
sitting here!
- Oh no !
Not the place of the fayot!
- Don't argue!
I won't let go.
I'll mark you in the panties.
- You promised me
you would be serious.
- Did I say that? Pff!
It had to be another Ducobu.
- Silence !
Good !
We are fortunate
to have two new arrivals.
Théo, Georges, Vincent?
What is
this gibberish?
You don't have a last name?
- Uh ... yes, yes.
Hum...
Théo-Georges, that's my first name.
Vincent, my name.
You can call me TGV.
- Pardon ?
- I was called that
because my mother gave birth
in 58 minutes and 45 seconds.
Faster than Paris-Lille.
Laughs
- Phew!
Nia, nia, nia.
- Shut up !
Good !
We'll see if you're as good
at geography as you are at humor.
Kuala Lumpur
is the capital of which country?
Beep
(-Kuala Lumpur
is the capital of which country?)
Intriguing music
Malaysia.
- Let's move on to conjugation.
What is the imperfect subjunctive
of the verb "to have"?
- That I had, that you had ...
that he had ...
we will have,
that you would have.
- That's OK.
We are dealing
to a fanciful scholar.
Sit down.
The second to arrive
est Willie Lunch... Lon... Lunch..
Lunch”.
Long...
Lunch...Lunch...
Bouwy?
- Launchburry, M. Latouche.
Romantic music
-"Launchburry".
"Launchburry".
"Launchburry".
Okay, if you will.
A citizen
of Our Majesty.
With pleasure.
Corne on.
I will be able to practice
my English.
...
Hello, little English boy.
Where is your umbrella?
- I did not understand anything.
Chuckles
- Hello, little English boy,
where is your umbrella?
- Looks like Bulgarian.
Laughs
- It's easy to understand!
I'm asking you
where is your umbrella.
- But I don't have an umbrella.
And it's not raining.
Laughs
- Are you playing smart?
We will see if you are as good
at the language of Molière.
At your place!
If it's like that,
I'll give you my welcome dictation.
- NOT ...
- Yes!
- "What a beautiful harvest we did ..."
Two points...
"What a beautiful harvest we made ..."
Two points.
"Some hymenomycetes ..."
Comma.
"Some hymenomycetes ..."
Comma.
"Des géasters..."
Comma.
"Superb coulemelles ...
"ma foi... fort...
"appetizing!"
I'll stick your first zero for you.
You don't change
a losing team.
Go to
your second home.
Strident voice Around the
corner!
- Moisie, your cheating.
It dates from prehistoric times.
He's laughing.
He sighs.
(-You got a tan, Néness.)
(Where did you go?)
(-In Mexico.)
(A paradise. And there, at least,)
(They respect the dead.
There's even a party in our honor!)
(But no luck,)
(A stray dog ate my shin.)
- The tibia ? Oh damn!
Rhythmic music
- Hey hey!
Screeching chalk
- Boo!
She's screaming.
- Oh...
It's not okay, right?
- My crow!
Know that I practiced
a joke.
- I am not in the mood.
- What's going on, my pie?
School has resumed. Your Gustave is there.
- I have more instruments.
And a music teacher
without instruments, it's ...
It's like...
It's uh ...
- Like a hare without a beak.
- Yes that's exactly it.
How do you
always find the right words?
- Know, my tit,
that you have a man in your life,
who stands upright
in the face of the storm.
Like a lighthouse in the fog,
a roof over a cottage,
a bamboo ...
- Speaking of roofs,
do you still agree
to live together?
Did you tell your mother?
- Of course!
Oh oh ! Trifle!
Laughs
Vent
Mom ?
- What now ?
- There, uh ...
I would like to tell you
that I have decided ...
uh ...
from ...
- Give birth!
- That uh ...
I want to live...
- What what?
- That you are the prettiest of mothers.
- Are you bothering me about that
on my show?
Parasite, go.
- Yes...
- Sometimes I have the impression
let her lead you by the nose.
- I'm no longer a child,
all the same.
She eats me out of my hand.
Laughs
- It's perfect.
So can I ask my notice?
- Yes, yes, yes ... Oh dear ...
I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.
If you only knew ...
laughing yellow
Phone ring
...
- I'll call you back, honey.
I have to go to the bank.
- Hello, Mr. Kitrish!
Fairy music
M. Kitrish ?
...
M. Kitrish ?
Mr. Kitrish, I'm back from vacation!
...
M. Kitrish...
But are you there?
M. Kitrish !
- Bouh!
He shouts.
Ah, ah! Hello, Ducobu.
- You scared me.
It rocks, your disguise!
- It allows me
to avoid the naggers.
Like bailiffs
and tax inspectors.
Good. How is
my most loyal customer?
- So so.
Something horrible is happening to me.
- Horrible?
Did they remove the canteen?
- Worst.
A new one challenges me to cheat.
He says it's the best.
I want to reduce it to mush.
I need the best of the best of cheating.
- I have everything you need, kid.
So...
I can offer you
the Grugex handkerchiefs.
The top of the snack,
as the name suggests.
Ah! The "I have an answer for everything" turtleneck.
You can sew the materials,
according to the controls.
And here is the lethal weapon.
Use only in an emergency.
In the event of a surprise check.
So.
Pen.
Secret compartment.
Small capsule.
Intriguing music
...
It simulates rabies.
He spits.
It also exists in suppo.
-6 x 7 : 42, 6 x 8 : 48
- Ah! Hello !
- Hello.
- Aren't you at the park with such good weather?
- No, mom, I'm studying.
- Do you already have homework?
- No, I'm getting ahead.
- It's good.
How did this return go ?
-Oh, Super !
I was happy to find Karine,
M. Latouche and Ducobu.
Okay, except I only had
19 in dictation.
- Oh but that is a very nice note
, my dear.
- For a recovery,
not too bad.
But I can do better.
Phone ring
Little laugh
What makes you smile
- Nothing. A friend
who sends me a stupid text.
- Who is this girlfriend?
- You do not know.
- I can see ?
- Yes of course.
Oh darn ! I erased.
- Yeah yeah...
Soft Music Door
- Good evening, my son.
- Hi Dad.
- How was your return to school?
- I think I love school.
- Well, we'll check that out.
So ?
0 in dictation, 2 in math?
It sucks!
- Well,
you should be proud of me.
I have progressed !
Last year, I got 1 in math.
2 is 3 times better!
- No, it's twice as good.
- Oui, donc c'est mieux.
- Qu'est-ce que tu fais, là ?
Tu devrais faire tes devoirs.
Tu couds ?
- Justement, je fais mes devoirs.
Ils ont remplacé l'histoire
par la couture.
- C'est quoi, cette réforme ?
- Pff.
Sonnerie de téléphone
...
- Qu'est-ce qui te fait sourire ?
- Une blague d'une copine...
d'un copain.
Enfin, d'une collègue.
Il rit.
Je me prépare à répondre...
à manger!
Petit rire
Coups sur un bureau
- Allez, allez! On se tait!
On s'installe et on s'assoit!
On s'assoit !
On se tait ! On s'installe!
Peut-on savoir pourquoi vous portez
un col roulé par ce temps ?
Voix enrouée
- J'ai attrapé froid.
It's because of my father.
He locked me in the fridge
without doing it on purpose.
- Ah! Ah, ah.
Strange things are happening
among the Ducobu.
Intriguing music
...
I was sure of it.
Not ingenious enough
for me.
- Ouch ...
- We don't teach an old monkey
to make a face.
Like you can't teach
a kangaroo to jump
on a trampoline!
He's laughing.
Well !
Screeching voice
Want my picture, Lucas?
Wrong notes
...
On tambourine.
- Stop!
It's not time
to do any work!
...
...
Fracas
...
*Jingle
*...
* - Were you there?
*...
* Are you seated well?
* Stop what you're doing,
I have huge news.
*Avec l’Éducation nationale,
nous organisons un concours de chant.
*Si tu as une belle voix
et veux une cagnotte pour ton école,
*inscris-toi au Mini...
*CON-SER-VA-TOIRE !
*...
Ils chantent faux.
- À LA CLAIRE FONTAINE
J'AI TROUVÉ L'EAU SI BELLE
QUE JE M'Y SUIS BAIGNÉ
- Ducobu, taisez-vous.
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T'AIME
JAMAIS JE NE T'OUBLIERAI
Stop.
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS
QUE JE T'AIME
- Chut !
Ils chantent mieux.
- SOUS LES FEUILLES D'UN CHÊNE
JE ME SUIS FAIT SÉCHER
- Au fond ! Stop.
- SUR LA PLUS HAUTE BRANCHE
UN ROSSIGNOL
- Ernestine.
- CHANTAIT...
- Karine...
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS
- Léonie, on laisse chanter Willie.
Voix cristalline
- Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps
Que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Brouhaha
...
- Il chante trop bien.
Willie ?
Oh, Willie.
T'as une trop belle voix.
- C'est clair.
- Tu fais une école de chant ?
- C'est un don.
J'adore chanter.
On me surnomme
Le Rossignol de Londres.
- WAOUH.
- Entre TGV
et ce playboy à deux balles,
je sais pas qui m'énerve le plus.
Le moteur vrombit.
- Hé ! Daddy cool !
- Hi, my man. Get in the car.
*Musique hip-hop
-Il doit être riche.
Exclamations enthousiastes
- HIGH FIVE.
PSHIT TO THE TOP.
- T'as passé une bonne journée ?
Je suis hyper populaire
auprès des girls.
- Tel père, tel fils.
- Léonie ? On te drop chez toi ?
- Oh . ..
- Pas la peine.
On la ramène avec mon père.
- Ah bon ? Première nouvelle.
- C'est normal.
On a passé les vacances ensemble.
- Et alors ? Aucun rapport.
Pourquoi je monterais avec toi ?
- C'est clair.
- Parce que... je... je...
Parce que...
- Parce que quoi?
Vas-y, dis-le.
- Parce que...
Je...je...
Musique de suspense
Parce que je... je...
Parce que je...
Parce que je...
- Parce que tu...
- Je...je...
- Parce que tu m'aimes ?
- Ah ça, non ! C'est parce que...
Tu m'énerves
avec tes questions de fille.
- Décidément,
les garçons sont trop lâches.
- C'EST CLAIR.
- Tu me raccompagnes ?
- With pleasure.
- Pff...
- Attache-toi bien.
J'ai une conduite sportive.
Le moteur vrombit.
Les pneus crissent.
- Regardez ce tas de ferraille!
Rires
- La honte, mon père
et sa poubelle ambulante.
- Tu ferais mieux
de rester concentré.
Demain, je te montre
qui est le roi de la triche.
- Pff...
- Au suivant !
- C'était la console de mon père.
Il adore Tetris.
- C'est un homme préhistorique ou quoi ?
Bon, tu l'auras dans deux jours.
- OK. Merci.
- Au revoir !
Au suivant !
-9 x 7 ?
- Moi, monsieur!
- Oh...
Je vois que nous avons un élève motivé.
Allez-y, RATP.
- C'est TGV, monsieur.
- Oui, RATP, SNCF, TGV...
Allez-y, je vous écoute.
Bonne réponse ?
Bip
-9 x7 ?
63 !
- Bravo !
Who's next ? 6 x 7?
- I !
- No, Ducobu.
You can't
go to the bathroom.
- I want to give the answer.
- You?
- Well yes, me.
- Oh oh ! Like what,
anything can happen. Well.
6 x 7 ?
-6 X 7? Excuse me !
- Bless you.
- Thank you. 6 x 7: 42.
- Oh !
As astonishing as it can be,
right answer.
Ah!
Don't boast, Ducobu.
It was surely a fluke.
Suspense music
...
7 x 7...
Ducobu?
- Uh ... 7 x 7 uh ...
He pretends to sneeze.
49.
- Hm, hm ...
I see what disease
you have.
An allergy
to the multiplication tables.
Doctor Latouche
will give you a prescription:
a zero!
...
At the corner, Ducobu ...
Laughs
Brouhaha
- Wait for me there.
- It's clear.
...
- What did you expect?
At a price for your cheating?
- Pff, you talk.
I wouldn't deserve it,
I don't even know how to cheat anymore.
- Is that what makes you unhappy?
- Yes.
If I can no longer cheat ...
I will have to work.
- Exactly! It is a chance !
At first, it's hard.
But you won't be able to do without it.
- Hey!
The Mbappé of cheating!
Moldy, your mobster.
- Do not worry about me.
It's a bad patch.
It happens to the best.
- To the worst.
You're useless. A blind,
deaf, and dumb teacher would goad you.
- You're so dumb that your feet
are smarter.
- You're so ugly
let your father bleed from his eyes.
- You stink, the flies
block their noses.
- Je vais vomir,
tellement vous dites de bêtises !
*-il y a longtemps que je t'aime
*Jamais je ne t'oublierai.
- C'est notre chance.
On pourrait gagner
le concours du Mini Conservatoire.
- À part la gloire,
ça peut nous rapporter quoi ?
- On peut remporter une cagnotte.
On pourra réparer
la toiture,
racheter des instruments.
- Encore faut-il qu'il gagne.
J'ai peur que ça perturbe les enfants.
La télé, tout ça...
Grincement et fracas
...
Au point où on en est...
- Oh ! Je peux annoncer
la nouvelle à Willie ?
- Oui.
- L'avenir de Saint-Potache
repose sur vous, Willie.
- Vous pouvez compter sur moi.
Je vais leur montrer, à ces nazes...
qui est Willie.
Léonie, c'est pour toi !
"Get Down On lt"
(Kool & The Gang)
...
- Il se la pète!
...
Musique au loin
...
Il rit.
- Qu'est-ce que vous faites là, Lucas ?
Vous n'avez rien à faire ici !
...
- OH !
...
Rires
...
- Ça te dirait
de m'accompagner au piano ?
- Oh, mais génial !
Faire un duo avec toi,
c'est un honneur.
- C'est vraiment des bouffons.
- Ça vole pas haut.
- Tant que vous êtes là,
passez la serpillère.
- Je vais lui claquer le bec,
au Rossignol.
-Il m'a saoulé!
- On va s'allier contre ce mytho.
- T'as raison.
- Les pires supplices. Lui faire bouffer
5 fruits et légumes par jour!
- De ouf!
- Le forcer à lire
les "tables" de La Fontaine.
- À regarder
des films en noir et blanc.
- À écouter de la musique classique.
Il râle.
T'inquiète pas
pour tes lunettes high-tech.
Je t'apprendrai la triche à l'ancienne.
- Et moi, celle du futur.
On est les Frérots de la Tricha.
- MEUH!
Rires
Musique sombre
...
- C'est relou, ici, papa.
Il est nul, ton zoo.
Les animaux sont morts !
- Pas de mauvais esprit.
On vient se cultiver.
- Mais je suis pas une patate.
- Si tu veux pas finir en légume,
arrête de jouer à la console.
Ici, tu vas t'enrichir.
- Ah ouais ?
De combien ?
- Je parle pas d'argent,
mais de nourriture spirituelle.
L'esprit est comme l'estomac.
Il a besoin de nourriture spirituelle.
- Je mangerais bien une crêpe.
- D'abord le cerveau.
- Je vais faire
une indigestion de la tête.
Oh... C'est marrant.
Il me rappelle quelqu'un.
Musique tribale
- Ah ouais...
En tout cas, il fait peur.
- Tu sais que l'extinction des dinosaures
ou du crétacé tertiaire
s'est produit
il y a 66 millions d'années ?
- Oh là là, c'est vrai ?
- Oh... Adeline!
- Celui-là, il mange de l'herbe ?
- Oh, Adeline!
Ouh!
Adeline rit.
Mais...
- C'est cool !
Rires gênés
Musique intrigante
...
C'est fou, le monde est petit.
- Le hasard fait bien les choses.
- Oui.
Petit rire
- On visite ensemble ?
- Oui, génial ! Hein, les enfants ?
- T'as vu ça ?
Ils nous prennent pour des débiles.
- Ils avaient rendez-vous.
- Le hasard...
- Ce hasard, quand même!
Je suis content,
ça faisait si longtemps.
- Moi aussi, Hervé.
Je me demandais ce que vous deveniez.
- L'homme de Néandertal,
notre cousin,
était bien moins évolué
que notre ancêtre
l'Homo Sapiens.
Elle rit.
- À mon avis,
les Ducobu descendent
de l'homme de Néandertal.
- Pff...
- C'est peut-être même
le premier Ducobu.
- Trop marrant.
Ça n'empêche pas ta mère
de craquer sur un Ducobu.
- C'est ton père qui craque.
Il fait tout
ce qu'elle lui dit
comme un chien.
- Pff. Tu rigoles ?
Y a pas de risques.
C'est pas le style de mon père.
C'est en attendant
de trouver la femme de sa vie,
mais son style de meuf,
c'est plus les fashionistas stylées.
Kim Kardashian ou Lady Gaga.
Pas des ringardes.
- Ton père n'est pas non plus
le style de ma mère.
Son genre d'homme,
c'est les mecs stylés et musclés
comme les rappeurs.
Pas les vieux maigrichons !
(-Nia, nia, nia.)
Pff !
La porte grince et on la verrouille.
- Maman ?
Il frappe.
Excuse-moi de te déranger, mais...
Comme tu le sais,
je suis grand maintenant.
Alors, j'ai pris une décision d'adulte.
Depuis quelque temps,
je vis une idylle
en la personne
de Ghislaine Rateau.
Malheureusement,
son studio a brûlé,
dû au fait qu'une souris
a grignoté les fils de sa cafetière.
Je me suis dit qu'il serait sympathique
de l'accueillir.
Qu'en penses-tu ?
Évidemment, tu resterais
la numéro 1 dans mon cœur.
Alors ?
Elle pète.
Oh, je savais que tu comprendrais.
Oh, oh !
- Bon, à bientôt.
- À bientôt.
Musique cocasse
- Oh...
Les parents rient.
- N'importe quoi...
...
C'est marrant, le...
- Non.
- Ah bon.
-Il est sympa, Hervé, non ?
- Tu trouves ?
- Bah oui.
Il est beau gosse,
intelligent, rigolo...
Comme toi, maman.
Petit rire
- C'est gentil, ma chérie.
- C'est juste dommage que...
- Que quoi ?
- Que tu sois pas son style de femme.
- Ah bon ? Pourquoi ça ?
- C'est Ducobu qui me l'a dit.
Il aime les fashionistas
bling-bling et sexy.
- Les "fastanichas" euh...
bling-bling et sexy ?
- Genre Kardashian ou Lady Gaga.
- Ah bon ? Je trouve ça bizarre.
- Oui, oui.
-"Fastonistaches"...
...
- La mère de Léonie
est bizarre, non ?
- Pourquoi tu dis ça ?
Elle est charmante.
- C'est bizarre qu'à son âge,
elle kiffe que les rappeurs musclés.
- Comment ça,
les rappeurs musclés ?
- C'est Léonie qui me l'a dit.
- C'est étonnant. Adeline...
Enfin, Mme Gratin
m'a jamais parlé
de rappeurs musclés.
- Elle est comme sa fille.
Elle se la pète
et elle pense qu'au physique.
Elle est "superficelle".
- Superficielle !
- C'est ce que j'ai dit.
- Les rappeurs super musclés ?
Tonnerre
...
Un corbeau croasse.
- Bienvenue dans ta nouvelle cage,
mon rouge-gorge.
- Merci !
Merci.
Il rit.
Bienvenue dans ta volière,
mon canari !
- Dis donc, on sait chez qui on est.
- Oui. Elle est belle, hein ?
- Ah oui.
- Oui, c'est une très belle femme.
Je ne me lasse pas de la regarder.
Je te fais visiter la suite.
Alors, le salon.
Regarde, on va être bien, là !
- Oh oui...
- Ça me fait penser...
Je vais à la pharmacie
pour les sels
pour les bains de pieds de maman.
- Ah oui ?
- Je lui masse la plante des pieds
tous les jeudis.
- Ah !
- Tu pourras le faire,
si ça t'amuse !
- Avec le concours de chant,
j'ai pas une minute.
Et je voudrais pas te priver
d'un moment privilégié avec ta maman.
- Tu sais que je suis partageur,
ma mouette. Bisou !
Oh, c'est... C'est bien !
Oui.
Musique inquiétante
...
Dégoût
...
Cri
Musique angoissante
...
Musique inquiétante
...
- Bonjour, numéro 2 !
Cri
Vous m'avez fait peur.
- Y a des serviettes propres
sur le dessus.
- Ah...
...
- Bonjour...
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour, monsieur.
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
- Bravo, belle musculature.
- Merci.
- Pour devenir comme vous vite,
c'est comment ?
-Il m'en a fallu du temps,
d'effort et de sueur...
J'en ai poussé de la fonte, bonhomme.
- Si je veux du biceps
vite fait,
il y a forcément un truc,
un produit?
C'est pour une femme. Elle va me quitter
si je prends pas de la masse fissa.
- J'ai quelque chose.
Mais pas homologué.
C'est pas légal.
-Il me faut du muscle.
- C'est puissant.
Musique intrigante
Des hormones de croissance
pour taureau.
- Je le veux.
- Allez-y mollo.
C'est du violent.
Avec ça,
une souris attaquerait un pitbull.
- C'est génial !
C'est ce qu'il me faut.
- M. Muscle ?
Si j'en prends,
je grandirai plus vite ?
- Fais pas cette connerie.
Ça accélèrerait ta croissance.
Ta voix changerait.
Tes poils pousseraient comme un yéti.
T'aurais des boutons.
Voix diabolique
Tu veux pas devenir Shrek ?
- Ma voix changerait?
Cri et fracas
Musique inquiétante
...
- It is occupied.
She's screaming.
...
She plays Y a d'la joie.
...
- Hello, kids!
False note
Shall I make you brunch?
- No thanks. We prefer to
stay light to rehearse.
- Ah, OK.
"No worry“ !
Giggle
Bye, losers !
- But ...
She's going to the carnival in Rio or what?
- No, I think she's just having
her late teenage seizure.
Scary music
She's screaming.
...
- A problem ?
- How many mothers do you have?
She is everywhere.
- But anyway, my pheasant ...
You exaggerate...
...
- What is that language ?
Looks like Martian.
- Yes, look.
There's something in French.
"Do not exceed the prescribed dose."
- The dose" ?
- Does that mean "box"?
- Ah, well done.
One dose equals one box.
And we add the milk?
- Um yes.
"Stir
so as not to make lumps."
Then we put the honey
and the mint syrup
for a pretty color.
Little laugh
"Mambo No. 5"
(Lou Bega)
...
Intriguing music
...
- "From an admirer
"unknown but very beautiful.
Bon appétit."
Surely a kindergarten.
...
- Do you think it will act quickly?
- I dunno.
- Mmh!
Too good.
Alarm
- Silence !
- We didn't say anything.
- Shut up,
Lucas!
Today,
I decided to make you happy.
To give you
a moment of relaxation.
- YEAH!
- We go together
we have fun declining the gerund
from the verb "baguenauder".
- Oh ...
- Great!
- That is to say, take a walk.
Intriguing music
- He ate almost everything.
- Will it act quickly?
- I brought my piano.
Miss Rateau is waiting for us.
Gurgling
He moans.
What's the matter ?
Laughs
He moans.
Willie farts.
...
- That's not the Mini Conservatory.
- This is the school of farts!
- Willie? Ooh there ...
Are you ok, Willie?
Yes ? Good.
We sit in silence.
As you know,
Willie will represent Saint-Potache
in the competition of the Mini Conservatory.
He will be accompanied by Léonie.
I ask you
to encourage them very strongly.
Applause
...
She plays Y a d'la joie.
...
- There is joy
Hello, hello, the swallows
There is joy
His voice derails.
In the sky
Over the roofs there's
joy
Laughter
and the sun in the alleys
There is joy
everywhere
There is joy
- What is happening ?
- I dunno.
- Do you have a cold?
A pollen allergy?
We're going to the infirmary.
Here. Everything is fine !
- What is happening ?
Laughter
Calm music
...
...
...
- So ?
-He abused the candy a bit,
but if not, he goes crazy,
this kid.
His blood pressure is good,
he has no fever.
- But his voice,
how do you explain his voice?
- Maybe precocious puberty.
He's already molting.
- Oh !
Intriguing music
No?
They laugh.
Hubbub
...
Soft music
- Oh, but don't worry.
You will find your voice.
It must be back-to-school fatigue.
Low voice
- Do you think so?
Little cries
What's the matter ?
- Uh ... No, nothing.
- are you sure, huh?
- Yes Yes.
- What are
these kids who molt so early?
In my time, we moved to 14 years old.
It was good.
Girls were becoming young women.
Spring was spring.
The boys
were in the army.
- You are right.
Everything is reversed.
-He was cute this morning.
There is a teenager
with chin hair.
It's a catastrophe.
- Don't worry, my ostrich.
We will find a solution.
- Spare me those grotesque names.
I can not stand it anymore!
Willie was our only hope.
Saint-Potache
is doomed to ruin.
He slams the door.
Crash and screams
- Saint-Potache
is doomed to ruin?
What are we going to become?
It's a catastrophe.
- I didn't know
school was going so badly.
- Neither do I. It's my fault.
I have to fix my nonsense.
I must save Saint-Potache.
- But how ?
- By winning the Mini Conservatory.
He's laughing.
- You sing like a pan.
- Yeah,
but I cheat like a king!
Fairy music
Here is paradise.
Hello, Mr. Kitrish! Mr. Kitrish?
M. Kitrish ?
M. Kitrish ?
- Hello !
Ah, ah!
- This is TGV, my best friend.
- Hello.
- An ace of the mob.
- Welcome to the temple of cheating.
You're home.
- I need you.
I made a mistake.
- Nonsense ?
It's great, I love it!
Tell.
- No, but I'm not proud of it.
On the contrary.
The school is in danger of closing.
- Did you crack them?
Oh!
You won, you are the chosen one!
He sighs.
- I don't want the school to close.
I even want to save her.
- What is this nonsense?
A dunce who wants to save his school?
This is the dumbest thing
I have heard! It is shameful.
Contrary to morality!
- Yes, but...
- Shut up. I've heard enough.
You were my best disciple.
You have disappointed me.
I don't want to see you anymore.
- Attention.
Without school, no more dunces.
Without dunces, more customers.
- HM hm.
- It's absurd, but logical.
- To save your store,
you must help us.
- How? 'Or' What ?
- By helping me win the contest.
It is broadcast on television.
- You want to cheat live?
The acquiesces.
- The biggest cheat
in the history of the world!
- I have what it takes.
...
Come on, I'll let you in
in the Holy of Holies.
Squeaking
...
- WOW...
...
- Wow, but it's magic here!
- Awesome...
...
- Oh ...
- We don't touch anything!
There are fragile things here.
Oh ... Well, what did I do with that thing
?
He sighs.
- Wow...
- He's there.
...
50 years later,
it remains a jewel of technology.
Help me.
We're going to put it there.
It's fragile.
- This wreck?
- It's not a wreck.
Thanks to this machine,
guys singing
like casseroles
have become
world singing stars.
Finally..
It's a secret.
Well...
I'm doing a demo.
Sizzling
Larsen
We do not touch!
Well...
Sizzling
*-Good. One. Two.
* Paris-Bordeaux-Le Mans.
The voice ripples.
* The Archduchess socks ...
High
- pitched voices * are they dry?
*Wait.
* it will suffice
The voice changes.
* Of a spark
Johnny's voice
* With nothing, with a gesture
* All it takes is a spark
* Yes, a little daylight
For ...
*Light the fire
*Light the fire
- Oh . ..
* -And see grow up
* The flame in your eyes
They shout.
The fire extinguisher! Quickly !
Warning ! Step aside.
Oh ! Oh no !
Oh it's ...
He's coughing.
It was a unique piece.
- Shouldn't ignite, too.
- All is not lost.
I can reproduce it.
- Can you do that?
- Fingers in the nose.
Even reduce it in size.
- Should be a magician
or a genius.
- I am both.
But if you don't trust me
you can take
singing lessons. Huh?
- We're going to use his method, right?
“My Benz”
(Supreme NTM)
He sings.
*...
- Pope ? Pope! Pope!
What are you doing ?
- I sculpt my body.
- There's work to be done.
- Do not worry about me.
He moans.
Thank you.
- I'm going to bed.
*...
Clicks
...
- What are you doing, mom?
- Stories for my Insta.
Adeline laughs.
Why ?
You want to tell me something ?
...
- When will puberty happen to me?
- Ooh there ...
That, my dear ...
You have plenty of time to think about it.
- Will my voice change?
- A little, but it is especially
that of the boys who moult.
- And for the girls,
what's going on?
- Well, some
have acne pimples.
Laughs Scary
music
And then hairs growing
here and there, everywhere.
Oh yes. You are going to have beautiful
braces, my dear.
Oh then the chest, too,
which grows, grows,
getting bigger ...
...
- Ducobu is right.
I never want to grow up.
- Oh, my little cat.
A door slams.
- You will
finish like a dondon,
number 2!
- And you, we could go
skydiving
with your panties!
- Here we go again...
You are real kids!
- She worked my little Swiss!
- What nerve!
It was mine!
- No, it's her
who started. Chipie!
- Liar!
- That's enough !
Enough !
There is not one to catch up with the other.
Around the corner, the Ghislaine! You will copy
"I'll be nice
to the other Ghislaine."
Who is the boss ?
Disturbing music
- What is wrong with you ?
...
I gave you life. I am your mother.
Without me, you wouldn't be here, minus.
- She's your mother,
you owe her respect.
- We were too nice to him.
Too good, too stupid.
You're going to go straight.
Believe me.
...
Am I right, number 2?
- I could not have said better!
- Eh eh.
- Castration.
Deep voice that shifts
- Get out. You stink.
- I don't know
what shocks me the most.
Its buttons or its style.
Anyway,
if teens are like that,
I'm in no rush to go to college.
- It's clear.
Soft music
...
Fire me that stuff!
Go play cards!
...
Souph
- Children should
never grow up.
- Miss Rateau?
What can we do?
We are bored!
- Do what you want.
- Mademoiselle ?
- Hum ?
- I can sing ?
- Oh no, Ducobu. Already I have the morale
in the socks ...
- Pff ...
I worked on my voice.
It's to help Saint-Potache.
- Pff ...
If you'd like to make a fool
of yourself ...
Sizzling
Crystal clear voice
- I give you my notes
I give you my words
When your voice takes them away
At your own pace
A fragile
and solid shoulder at the same time
What I imagine
and what I believe
I give you all my differences
All these faults
Which are so many chances
We will never be standards
Good people
I give you what I have
and what I'm worth
Applause
...
- We are saved!
- Ducobu is leaving?
- On the contrary.
He's going to save Saint-Potache.
- Ducobu, savior of Saint-Potache?
-He's even more talented than Willie!
- My stork, are
we talking about the worst dunce in France?
Screaming
- That's enough now, Gustave!
He's not cut out for studies,
but he's a great performer. Yes !
She slams the door.
Fracas
- Did you tell him the time?
-He must have had a setback.
- It's a Ducobu.
Cats don't make dogs.
Exasperation.
Someone's knocking at the door.
- Come in.
- Sorry.
A setback.
- What is that
that this olibrius?
Uh ... sit down.
- Hello. Hello.
You summon me
for my son's nonsense?
I don't know how to do it anymore.
I'm going to crack down, take
everything away from him.
Pocket money, TV, comics,
the console, the cakes.
Even the holidays!
- You're not there.
He didn't do anything wrong.
On the contrary. He's a genius.
- Yes.
- Oh ... a genius?
Calm music
A genius in cancer?
- No, singing!
- Yeah, well ...
It is not "Master Bims", but ...
I must admit
that he has a nice touch of voice.
But if I smell
some jumble,
I will be ruthless, relentless,
fierce!
While remaining
within the limits of the laws
of the Republic.
- Mr. Latouche means
that he has incredible talent.
- Pff ...
- Unimaginable, phenomenal.
We are counting on him
to save the school.
- If the fate of the school
depends on my son ...
is that it is bad.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- I'll bring him back to
the right side of the Force.
There may still be some good in him.
- It's clear.
- You don't want to come and have fun?
- It makes me drunk having fun.
I am over the age.
It's for brats.
-He has become an idiot!
Like a teenager.
- It's clear.
- They're chasing you ...
- Ducobu, congratulations!
It's official.
You participate in the
Mini Conservatory competition.
It's amazing !
But gonna have to work hard.
We have a week. Let's start
the rehearsals now.
- The problem is,
I have a fragile voice.
I don't want to ruin it like Willie.
- Without repetition,
you don't stand a chance.
In music, no secret.
It's work, always work.
- Yes, but there is also the feeling.
It must remain a game, a pleasure.
- It is not false.
Mozart spoke of the pleasure of playing.
- I'll do it to you like Mozart.
- Oh is ...
You don't write on the windows.
- I do what I want.
You got me drunk there.
- First warning.
If you persist in this attitude,
I'm sending you to the director.
Soupü
Exasperation
He growls in a hoarse voice.
- It's the cheat of the century.
- But if we get kicked,
we will be toast .
- I risk. A cheat like this
only happens once.
If you're scared,
you can always steer clear.
- You laugh ? I'll go with you
to the end of the cheat!
- Oh, well done, Ducobu.
I'm too happy for you.
Why were you pretending
to sing badly?
- Modesty.
- The older ones are like that.
- Can I ask you a favor ?
- Yes.
- I would love to accompany you too much.
I had to do it with Willie
before he became a teenager.
- Of course,
but I'm in charge.
- Normal, you're the genius.
When do we rehearse?
- Oh no, no rehearsal.
I play it like Mozart:
may it remain a pleasure.
Tongue snap
- Hey ... no, but ... Hmm.
I have been coming
to the Blue Lagoon hotel for 10 years .
I have suite 702,
sea view with breakfast.
You notice!
Gluten-free pastries,
lactose-free chocolate,
sugar-free jam.
- Antenna in 20 seconds.
- It's okay !
I'm preparing my vacation there.
I want a driver
from the airport to the hotel.
Ah!
No, I don't take the buses
with tourists in flip-flops.
- Antenna in 10 seconds.
- Listen.
I'll pass you my assistant.
(I want a jacuzzi on the terrace.)
(I want to paddle board
on my jacuzzi.)
(It's clear ?)
*Jingle
Public ovation
*...
* -Good evening, children!
*Are you OK ?
-YES!
Applause
* -I'm happy to go on vacation ...
* To meet you
for this new season of the Mini ...
- CON-SER-VA-TOIRE!
* -Without further delay
and to begin,
* he represents the school of Saint-Potache.
* He is a model student loved by all.
* Give thunderous applause
* to Ducobu!
Public ovation
...
*Jingle
* So ... Ducobu,
* can you introduce us to
your partner?
* -Yes, it's Léonie.
My best friend and the best student.
*-Magnificent. Leonie?
*-Good evening everyone.
* I am very happy to be here.
* Since I was little,
I watch ...
* -We are delighted, Léonie.
* What will you interpret to us?
*-Bella.
*-Bali ?
*Oh, oh, oh ! Super!
* I'm going on vacation!
* -No, Bella, by Master Gims.
*-Super.
*I also love.
*It's your turn.
Applause
- You go-y, Ducobu!
...
Crackling
Soft music
...
* Ouh ouh ouh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
*She answered to the name of Bella
* The locals
didn't want it expensive
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
*She answered to the name of Bella
* The locals
didn't want it expensive
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
- Is it good for the jacuzzi?
- No.
They can't install it.
- Have you booked a hotel
or a campsite for me?
- I can not do anything about it.
Woman laughs
...
- What is that ?
-He rocks, my son.
I'm not his daron for nothing.
Brraa! Brraa!
- Oh but
they are too hyped.
Ahead of 3 collections
over the Kardashians.
Do not seek.
They're the fall-winter trend
.
- It's them! Barn!
- Brraa!
-He is good, this little one.
* -The locals
didn't want the expensive one
*She made all the towns quake
* People told me
beware of that girl
* Come on, make me turn my head
* Hey, hey
* Turn your head, hey, hey make
me dumb like my feet
* Hey, hey
* Stupid as my feet
* I am the shadow of your dog
* Hey, hey
- Oh, oh !
* -Hey, hey
- I don't know how he does it ...
but he's cheating. He cheats.
* -The locals
didn't want the expensive one
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
Applause
*Jingle
- Well done!
- Well done!
- Well done!
- Well done!
*...
*-What talent ! This voice !
*Oh oh oh ! I was there.
Frankly, well done.
* Oh, oh ...
and the viewers
* give it the note ...
* give it the note ...
*from 10!
* What qualifies him for the future!
Cheers
...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
*-Thank you.
- DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
Excited hubbub
...
- Let it go!
- DUCOBU!
Cries of excitement
...
- Get back all!
Epic music
...
- Sad time
when dunces are stars
and where I stay in the shadows.
Like a cockroach.
- DUCOBU, WE LOVE YOU!
- They've gone mad!
- Mad about you.
And they are not the only ones.
The whole of France is ducobuse.
Your video has been liked
millions of times!
You are a star! It's enormous !
- And
I count for plums?
- Of course not.
We are a team!
Ducobu and Léonie,
manage the artistic.
Me, I take care of the biz.
- The biz?
- That means I'm going to handle everything.
I'll be your manager.
Voice that moves
- Me, I do the service of order.
I'm fed up of school.
I want to become a bodyguard.
- YEAH.
- Yeah!
Brouhaha
...
- Where do you think you are?
We are here
at the school of the Republic,
not on an entertainment board!
In your places!
Well done for your performance last night,
Ducobu.
You will do
a good acrobat.
When you are grown up
and far away.
We are here to learn.
Not for antics.
On the board, the diva.
-He couldn't revise.
He was preparing the Mini Conservatory!
- It's not my problem
if your friend likes to be a puppet
on television sets.
I said, "On the board, the diva."
- No sir.
- How's that, no"?
- I have to save
my vocal cords.
Laughs
- Monsieur takes himself
for a star?
Has he lost his sense of reality?
I will remind you of them.
You will copy: "Being a star
does not exempt from studying."
Boos
...
- It is unfair.
You can not do this !
'Yes. I can !
- Yes 1 'Not 1
'Not!
- Yes !
'Not!
- Yes !
'Not!
- Yes !
It is I who command !
It is I who command !
So sit down!
We will speak again
when you wear a mustache!
And then, stop!
Otherwise, I'll punish you all!
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
- Silence !
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
- Silence ! Silence!
It's a mutiny! Silence!
- Welcome to Saint-Potache.
The students laugh.
- Silence !
Silence!
...
- But finally !
What is this hustle and bustle ?
-He started !
Mr. Director,
he's disturbing me !
- Calm down !
- Our little Castafiore
refuses to comply
with educational requirements!
- Should I call you back
that this brave boy
is our only hope?
- Mr. Director.
In any case...
- No. He already has terrible pressure
on his shoulders.
Do not add more!
Pamper him.
Here.
Pamper him!
- Pamper him?
Humiliation.
- Do you mind
if we take a selfie?
It's for my ex, you never know.
She likes you.
How nice.
Click
And hop ! And hop !
Intriguing music
...
He has his ego crisis,
it will pass to him.
We do another one there.
Click
Dramatic music
A clock strikes.
- Gustave is still not here.
I worry.
- It's strange.
In the evening endives with ham.
He never did that to me.
He will hear me.
Phone
- It's him!
- Put on the intercom.
- How are you, my Gustave?
Where are you ?
* -I'm at the bottom of the hole,
my little crow.
- Well go back, you potato!
* -Mom ?
- Who do you want it to be? Pope ?
Come home fissa,
the endives will cool!
* -I'm not going home, mom.
I can't take any more.
* No one respects me.
My students...
* Even my manager puts me down.
I am useless.
- But yes, my Gustave,
you are useful for something.
You use ...
You use ...
- You're useless !
Come home fissa or it will screw up!
Here !
She hangs up.
- But he needed help.
- Do not be moved,
number 2.
He will tuck his tail
between his legs.
The glass clangs.
At table.
- Oh, it's hot!
- Yeah.
- I don't want to go home!
I don't want to go home!
- Stop your whims,
Sarah.
- You're too mean.
- Do you want me to calm this child?
I am a professional.
He yells.
She told you no!
We don't talk like that to our mother!
Stop your whining!
You're breaking our heads!
You will kill her!
Look at her, she looks like an old woman!
- What I concern myself ?
Take care of your butt!
Come on, honey.
Sad music
- I don't understand this world anymore.
Oh the little bastard!
Ducobu!
You little savage!
I will teach you to draw
on cars!
I'm going to crack down like never before!
You hear ?
Like never ! Like never !
Like never !
Like never ... Like never ...
Ducobu, Ducobu, Ducobu ...
- I'm gonna need backup.
There is a nutcase
who yells at a trash can.
I do not understand.
- Ducobu ”.
*
Public Jingle Ovation
...
* -Good evening, children.
*Are you OK ?
- YES!
* -Hearts beat,
hands tremble,
* shaky legs,
* the pupils dilate, it is the maximum
suspense for the semi-fina ...
- THE !
* -Enough talk.
May the best win. Finally...
* May the best sing!
Little laugh
*Jingle
*...
* Applaud Noéline
from the J. Prévert school.
Auto-Tune
* -Love is a bohemian child
* He never never
knew a law
* If you don't
love me I love you
* And if I love you
Take care
* -Antoine,
from J. Ferry school!
Auto-Tune
* - he should have done it
* Believe me
We all said
* Ah, it's a shame
Ah, it's a shame
* This may be the last time
* - We applaud Charles-Èdouard
from the Jean d'Ormesson school!
*-In the jungle
*Terrible jungle
*The lion is dead tonight
...
* A-wimboé
* -And our last candidates,
Léonie and Ducobu,
* who will perform a classic
of Italian song for us,
* I'll leave with you.
Caricatural Italian accent
* Hey, what a pizza!
* -When I'm just dreaming
On the horizon
* E mancan
*The word
* Yes, I know there is no light
* ln a room
When missing
*the sun
* If you are not there
- I have a good idea.
Buy me
vegan index 50 sunscreen
and two
bamboo toothbrushes .
* - Seen and experienced
* With you
* Now yes there
* Vivrô
* With you
* Partirô
...
Shock
His voice derails.
*Me with you
He holds the note perfectly.
...
Public ovation
...
- What's the matter ?
- I do not know,
it blew a cable, my console.
I hope he will
qualify anyway.
- Yeah.
It would be changed.
* -We can applaud all our candidates.
Applause
* Thank you for them.
* Obviously,
* you all deserve to win.
'Unfortunately tonight
* two children will leave us.
Suspense music
* I have, in this envelope,
* the names of the 2 lucky candidates
that you, the viewers,
have chosen.
* Two children who will have
the opportunity to go to the final
* to try to get
a scholarship for their school.
* The finalists ...
*are...
...
- Oh, go ahead, stress!
...
* -The finalists ...
*are...
- He bugged!
Does he say them, the names or what?
* -Charles-Édouard
of the Jean d'Ormesson school!
- I knew it would be me.
I knew it would be me.
- I want to kiss you!
Public ovation
...
* -The 2nd finalist ...
*is...
...
* Ducobu!
Cheers
...
'Nice ...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
* - See you next week for the final.
- We're in the final!
- Good luck, dear colleague.
You will need it,
with your zebra bouboule.
- Don't worry, dear colleague.
Our "zebra bouboule",
unlike
your barber boy,
fly like a butterfly,
sting like a wasp,
and bangs like a boxer.
We're going to atomize your face!
- Elegant.
Marie-Bernadette, come on.
Happy music
- Oh sorry...
Pardon.
My Gustave has returned, sorry.
Oh!
My Gustave!
Oh... Oh!
Organs
Nasal voice
- I have no fun
to name myself Gustave.
I have the great honor to introduce myself.
Gérard Gérardini.
I am the main teacher
of this little prodigy.
He hisses.
Little cry
- Nice to meet you, Miss Rateau.
Eh yes.
I noticed you.
I took my information.
Such a pretty panther
does not escape the eyes of a lynx
of an old lion in rutting season.
- Oh is ...
I confused you with another.
- I'll make you smile soon,
my little hyena.
He hisses.
He's laughing.
- It's thanks to you, bro.
- Yes !
- Hey oh, the machos! And me ?
- I apologize.
Laughs
Wait for me, I'm coming.
- Let's go ?
- What is happening ?
You should be
the happiest of all.
- Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
You know what they say.
"You miss one being
and everything is depopulated."
- Who are you talking about?
- From M. Latouche.
Do you miss him?
- Oh no.
Then he just went on vacation.
It is not worth putting yourself
in this state.
He's not dead.
- No, you were lied to,
he didn't go on vacation.
He disappeared!
The worst part
is that not everyone cares.
She blows her nose loudly.
- Wait.
I think I know where he is.
- Are you sure he's here?
- That's where all my teachers end up.
- Ah yes ?
Disturbing music
...
- HELLO, JEAN-PIERRE.
ARE YOU COMING TO PLAY WITH US?
...
He yells.
Ducobu!
Ducobu!
- What was that ?
- My CE1 teacher, M. Mignard.
- What did you do to him?
- Nothing. I always come
across fragile teachers.
- "That we did ..." Two small points.
"A few...
"hymenomycetes,
some hymenomycetes.
Comma.
Ducobu!
We do not copy from our neighbor!
You answer, in addition?
I'll watch you, you
insolent little one! Here !
He breaks the chair.
Are we less clever?
- Oh, Gustave !
My little eagle.
- Oh...
Oh, Ghislaine, oh...
My Finistère
moorhen , I missed you.
- All is finished.
Your swallow is there.
Soft
The sweet child
Very sweet
The sweet child
Very soft
- One more.
- A what ?
- A Ducobu.
They are everywhere.
These demons are harassing me!
(He's there, right behind us.)
(He looks at us with his vicious look.)
- No, he's not a demon.
This is the real Ducobu.
- The real Ducobu?
- Ouch! But it is forbidden
to touch the students!
- You don't want
to leave me alone, forget about me?
- I just wanted to apologize.
And tell you that I love you.
- You ...
You love Me ?
- A lot. To prove it,
I swear to never cheat again.
- No more nonsense.
I don't believe you anymore.
Scalded cat fears cold water.
- No...
I believe he is sincere.
- You swear you'll never cheat again?
- Promised sworn.
- Suspicion.
- No, no, Gustave.
Come on, come on, my pelican.
I'll take you to the Mini Conservatory.
- Huguette ?
It's you ?
She's screaming.
- Good evening, Miss Rateau.
Organs
Is a candlelit dinner
around a horse bib
or a tongue of beef
would suit you?
- No, Gerard.
- I would at least have had the pleasure
to cross your path.
- Mr. director?
Who is this fanatic
who dares to seduce my dove?
- He's your alter ego
from the Ormesson school.
- My alter ego ?
This grotesque character?
Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
- My director
is ready to engage.
- Thank you, but I will not leave
Saint-Potache and my Gustave.
Think carefully.
You can join
a team of winners
or stay with morons.
- It's all considered!
You are not my type.
- Did you hear, nerdy?
She loves alpha males.
Stop harassing my fiancée,
old alley cat!
He hisses.
Oh?
Gérard hisses.
Gustave growls.
...
He's laughing.
- Did you see my can?
He left with his tail between his paws,
this old fennec.
It is pitiful.
- Aren't you too stressed ?
- Serious! And you ?
- Quiet, wesh.
Do not be impressed.
- No, not too much.
- Aren't you nervous?
- What is that ?
- It's the fear of the artist
before the stage.
Like when you have
a lump in your stomach.
- Precisely, the problem
is that I have nothing
in the stomach.
- Duco?
Duco, come on, come on!
- Wait, I'll see my team.
What?
- That moron spilled his Coke
on the console.
She is dead.
- You should have watched him!
He's a teenager!
'It's okay !
- A problem ?
- No, I'm just starting
to get nervous.
Find a solution !
- I do not have the time !
- I can go.
- YOU, SHUT UP!
- Leonie?
Air in a minute.
After Charles-Édouard, it's up to you.
- OK.
Ducobu, are you coming? It's ours.
Tension music
- I try, but I promise nothing.
...
* -Good evening!
* Jingle
Applause
*...
* Good evening,
are you okay?
- YES!
* -Welcome to the Mini final ...
- CON-SER-VA-TOIRE!
* -This is the expected moment.
The schools of Jean d'Or ...
- MESSON !
* -And Saint ...
- POTACHE!
* -Keep their ...
* Which of these 2 candidates will win?
* To start this final,
the draw has designated ...
* Charles-Édouard!
Applause and boos
(In 2 hours, I'm on the plane.)
*-Good evening.
...
- It's not Charles-Édouard,
it's Charlatan!
Charles-Zero!
- I won't let you.
You insult
innocence and culture!
He imitates a fart.
Oh, oh, oh...
Chut.
"Life in pink"
...
* -Eyes that make mine lower
* A laugh that is lost on his mouth
* Here is the portrait without retouching
*From the man I belong to
*When he takes me in his arms
* That he speaks to me softly
*I see life in pink
*He tell me love words
*Everyday words
* -AND THAT MAKES ME SOMETHING
*-he has entered in my heart
*A slice of happiness
*That I know the reason
*That's it for me
*Me for him in life
*He told me
* He swore it
*For life
*Nights of endless love
* A great happiness which takes its place
* Trouble
Sorrows fade away
*Happy, happy to die
- TGV, you have to
get your guts out.
Do you hear, Charles-Édouard?
Without this machine, I am dead!
- I do what I can.
She seems to be walking.
I don't know if she'll hold up.
Well...
- Anyway,
we no longer have a choice.
Hit or miss.
- Yeah.
*-So I feel Inside me
*My heart
*Who beats
...
* La la la la la la
- LA LA LA LA
...
Public ovation
...
*-Thank you so much.
*-Formidable.
* Congratulations to Charles-Èdouard.
* So many emotions.
* I ask you to welcome
Léonie and Ducobu!
Ovation
Boos
We hurry,
I have a plane to catch.
Applause
- It's Duconul!
- No, it's Ducobu!
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
He hoots.
- DUCOBU ...
* -We write on the walls
In the ink of our veins
* We draw
everything we want to say
*All over
*Around us
* There are signs of hope
in the eyes
* Give away their writings
* Because in the night
*Everything disappears
* Even their trace
...
* We write the name on the walls
* From those we love
* Messages for the days to come
* We write on the walls
In ink from our veins
* We draw
* Everything we would like to say
...
* We write on the walls
* The strength of our dreams
* Our hopes
* In the shape of graffiti
* We write on the walls
For love to rise
* A beautiful day on the sleeping world
* Larsen
* Words
Low voice
* Only engraved
High- pitched voice
* Not to forget
Sizzling
High-pitched voice
* To change everything
- Isn't he the one who sings?
His voice derails.
Soft music
- Oh is ...
The opposing team laughs and hoots.
Voice rigged, high-
pitched then deep
...
- Oh...
He sings out of tune with his real voice.
The music stops, decrescendo.
- This is cheating !
He's a cheater!
Cheater!
Boos
...
- I knew it.
I knew it! I knew it!
'Oh my God!
- My son, a cheater!
Go ahead, the te-hon!
- Why did he do that ?
- Tsst ...
Brraa! Brraa!
She's crying.
- I won't forgive you.
You put me to shame in
front of all of France.
Boos
...
- Cheater! Cheater!
Cheater!
...
*-What a shame. What a masquerade.
* We have just witnessed
the biggest scandal in television.
* You owe us some explanation,
young man.
* We are in the presence
of a vocal doping.
- OH !
Boos
...
* I therefore declare
* Charles-Édouard
of the Ormesson school
* winner of this edition!
- Yeah! Well done ! Well done !
Ovation
...
*-Boloss...
* I knew I
was the best.
- Bravo !
*-Thank you. Thank you.
* -Bravo, young man.
* As for you, Ducobu,
* gentlemen,
* take this criminal away.
Boos
- Take it out!
What a shame !
- I beg you.
I ruined the party
I know,
but let me explain.
I don't want to end my life in prison!
* -You want to hear
his explanations?
- YES!
- NON !
*-Very good.
* You have two minutes flat.
- Thank you.
Sad music
...
* Thank you, audience.
...
* I admit, I cheated.
* Worst of all, I betrayed
* the confidence
of those who love me.
* My daddy, Leonie ...
Squeak
* My dear professors
Rateau and Latouche,
* but also my classmates.
* For them,
I was a savior, a hero.
* But in real life, I am a zero.
* A jester worse
than Voldemort and Darth Vader.
* But it was to save
my ruined school.
* Because I love my school.
...
* Without her, my teachers,
my classmates and me,
* we will end up orphans.
Worse, homeless people of knowledge.
...
* It's like
we're being punished for life.
* Give us the means, a future.
We want to learn.
...
* A child without a school,
* it's like a PlayStation
without a controller.
* Or a pain au chocolat ...
...
* without chocolate.
...
*Thank you.
He applauds alone.
The others join him.
...
* -It's moving.
...
* I can't reward
a cheater.
Boos
- No!
- No.
*-Wait.
* We have all been ...
very touched by ...
* the moving story of this boy
who loves his school so much.
* Upon reflection, I think ...
* the rules are the rules.
- Yes Yes of course.
* -Ducobu did not win.
* But he moved me.
* That's why I decided to offer
* part of my salary at his school.
Cheers
...
* Hope this helps.
*I think so.
* Wait, wait.
*
I am told that I am not the only one.
* The pledges are
pouring in from all over France!
Cheers
...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
- Oh !
Respect, son, you're a killer!
Brraa!
- You're too great.
I really like you!
- Brraa!
- Ducobu?
- You should be happy.
I saved the school.
- The end does not justify the means.
- It was my last cheat.
Promised, swore, spat.
- Don't spit, Ducobu.
Know that if you persist
in cheating,
you will always have me
on your way.
- Say, Mr. Latouche?
You who are successful
with women,
Can I ask you a question ?
With Léonie,
we had a serious argument.
And I would like us to be reconciled.
- Indeed,
I know women perfectly.
But there is one area
where you cannot cheat. Love.
- What do you know,
virgin?
- Ah !
Disturbing music
- I'm coming to get you, lazy.
Do you think you're gonna stay
with your dondon?
- You know what the dondon said to you?
Enough, persecution.
- What's wrong with
number 2?
You live with me.
You can always back out.
- You will have looked for it, mom.
With Ghislaine, we love each other.
We're leaving, we can't take it anymore!
Suspense music
Huh, Ghislaine?
- Yes, we love each other!
And we can't take it anymore!
- What is
she saying, the bitch, she unlocks?
Solemn music
- I'm grown up now.
...
It is time for the eagle to leave its nest.
- It's your last word?
- Yes, that's my last word.
- Oh...
- Now
you're number 2, mom.
Disturbing music
...
This is it, I am a man.
Heroic music
- Kiss.
- Get away !
Here !
Disturbing music
- This is not the time
to tell them
qu'on est in love.
Brraaa, brraa ! Love, love, love !
Tss, tss, tss ...
- Uh ”.
Take it pretty well, eh, but ...
But there, I saturate, in fact.
Your look, your way of speaking ...
I can not anymore.
- I thought you liked
muscular rappers?
- Bah not.
Otherwise,
I wouldn't have fallen for you.
Me, I like the way you are.
- Is that so ?
That's good, because I also
preferred you before.
When you were simple, natural.
- It is true ?
...
- Leonie!
...
I am sorry.
But it was for a good cause.
I promise to start over.
- You told me that 100 times.
Why would I trust you?
- Well because ...
Is ...
Because ...
- What, Ducobu?
- Because I...
- It's coming ?
We're not going to spend the year there!
I can not hear.
Stronger !
- Because I love you!
...
He moans.
When are you going to grow up?
- Never !
...
- Gustave !
Ton slip !
- My fetish briefs!
- Washed and ironed.
...
- Come on!
...
Laughs
Alarm
...
He knocks on the door.
...
- It's okay, I heard you!
Did you fall out of bed?
- I missed you.
- Did you have a bad vacation?
- No, but two months on the pill,
that's five minutes.
You look superb,
Mr. Director.
- Phew!
- I would say you've become younger.
Looks like a vigorous young bamboo.
- Do not start
your sycophancy.
I haven't slept for 2 months
and lost 10 kilos.
-It emanates from you
a joy of living.
- What emerges from me
is my wife.
She left with a surfer.
- Oh...
Consternation.
- Keep it to yourself.
You will need it.
I have very bad news for
you.
- Is the start of the school year postponed?
Playful music
...
- Where are we going ?
Are we going back on vacation?
- Hey no.
I'll take you to school.
- Oh !
Ooh!
- Oh well then!
- What is he doing?
Oh, son!
Come back here ! Come back !
- I hope you have
charged the batteries well.
You will need it.
- You are beautiful,
my lion of the Alps.
Little laugh
- Miss Rateau, please keep
decent behavior.
We are not in Romeo and Juliet.
- The director is right.
Here, it is the school of knowledge.
And not vice!
- Please excuse me.
It will not happen again.
- I hope, my nightingale.
Let's keep the limits ...
- Don't overdo it either.
Good.
I'll get right to the point.
- Direct and precise.
- But you are going to complete it, Latouche!
Where was I?
Ah yes, there you go.
The budgets allocated to the renovation
of the school are blocked.
Sighs
As a result,
the leaky roof will not be repaired,
just like the radiators
defective
and the staircase shaking.
Protests
This is not the worst.
To meet urgent expenses,
I had to sell on Leboncoin
sports equipment,
instruments ...
- My flutes?
- Don't look like that.
You can blackmail them.
The voice is a beautiful instrument.
- Approbation !
Yeah.
The bell rings.
Playful music
- Karine !
- Leonie!
...
- How I missed you so much!
- It's clear!
- Oh...
Did you have a good vacation?
- It's clear.
- Me too.
I had too much fun with Ducobu.
Apart from one thing that gets me drunk:
our parents go out together.
They think we don't know.
- It's not clear.
- But the worst part
is that if they get married,
Ducobu will become my half-brother.
We won't be able to love each other anymore.
- It's clear!
But Ducobu told you he loved you?
- No, he doesn't dare tell me.
It's still a boy.
But I know he loves me.
- It's clear.
-He even promised me to mature.
- It's not clear.
- He said he was going to work
and that he would not cheat again.
- Non!
I don't want to go back to school!
I want to go back on vacation!
- Ah! I see you are
in an excellent state of mind, Ducobu.
That's good.
I'm motivated.
The reed bends,
but never breaks.
Go about your business,
Mr. Ducobu.
I'll take care of your toddler,
trust me.
Have a great day.
- Thank you, Mr. Latouche.
Come on.
Works well.
- Hi Dad.
Strident voice
- Everyone in line!
Terracotta breakage
- Ah! Hello.
- Hello.
What's wrong ?
- I prefer that we remain discreet.
I wouldn't want to disturb
the children when they are back to school.
- Okay,
but we'll have to tell them.
- Yes one day.
Brouhaha
- Silence !
I don't want to hear
a fly fly!
A fly is buzzing.
...
Moans of disgust
It is a pivotal year
for Saint-Potache.
We have the choice
between succeeding or succeeding!
I chose the 2nd choice.
But also the first.
Do not mistake yourself.
It's my choice !
- Hair on the finger.
Laughs
- Last year, I was lax.
From now on, I will be uncompromising!
- Hair to the teeth!
Laughs
- Do you like hairy hair, Ducobu?
You're going to have some.
In class !
Alarm
Go! Go! Go !
You settle down.
Calm music
...
Intriguing music
...
- Hi, new one.
You didn't know, but ... you're in my shoes.
- Whoever goes hunting
loses his place.
- I won it
by the sweat of my brow.
- Do you have any proof?
- Yes.
It is I who engraved these bars.
I remained a prisoner
217 days at this place.
- Hm ... You're lucky then,
I'll let you go.
- This is the place of the dunce.
...
And I'm the biggest dunce
the school has ever known.
- Maybe you were,
but it's over.
I take your place.
- Ducobu!
I want you
sitting here!
- Oh no !
Not the place of the fayot!
- Don't argue!
I won't let go.
I'll mark you in the panties.
- You promised me
you would be serious.
- Did I say that? Pff!
It had to be another Ducobu.
- Silence !
Good !
We are fortunate
to have two new arrivals.
Théo, Georges, Vincent?
What is
this gibberish?
You don't have a last name?
- Uh ... yes, yes.
Hum...
Théo-Georges, that's my first name.
Vincent, my name.
You can call me TGV.
- Pardon ?
- I was called that
because my mother gave birth
in 58 minutes and 45 seconds.
Faster than Paris-Lille.
Laughs
- Phew!
Nia, nia, nia.
- Shut up !
Good !
We'll see if you're as good
at geography as you are at humor.
Kuala Lumpur
is the capital of which country?
Beep
(-Kuala Lumpur
is the capital of which country?)
Intriguing music
Malaysia.
- Let's move on to conjugation.
What is the imperfect subjunctive
of the verb "to have"?
- That I had, that you had ...
that he had ...
we will have,
that you would have.
- That's OK.
We are dealing
to a fanciful scholar.
Sit down.
The second to arrive
est Willie Lunch... Lon... Lunch..
Lunch”.
Long...
Lunch...Lunch...
Bouwy?
- Launchburry, M. Latouche.
Romantic music
-"Launchburry".
"Launchburry".
"Launchburry".
Okay, if you will.
A citizen
of Our Majesty.
With pleasure.
Corne on.
I will be able to practice
my English.
...
Hello, little English boy.
Where is your umbrella?
- I did not understand anything.
Chuckles
- Hello, little English boy,
where is your umbrella?
- Looks like Bulgarian.
Laughs
- It's easy to understand!
I'm asking you
where is your umbrella.
- But I don't have an umbrella.
And it's not raining.
Laughs
- Are you playing smart?
We will see if you are as good
at the language of Molière.
At your place!
If it's like that,
I'll give you my welcome dictation.
- NOT ...
- Yes!
- "What a beautiful harvest we did ..."
Two points...
"What a beautiful harvest we made ..."
Two points.
"Some hymenomycetes ..."
Comma.
"Some hymenomycetes ..."
Comma.
"Des géasters..."
Comma.
"Superb coulemelles ...
"ma foi... fort...
"appetizing!"
I'll stick your first zero for you.
You don't change
a losing team.
Go to
your second home.
Strident voice Around the
corner!
- Moisie, your cheating.
It dates from prehistoric times.
He's laughing.
He sighs.
(-You got a tan, Néness.)
(Where did you go?)
(-In Mexico.)
(A paradise. And there, at least,)
(They respect the dead.
There's even a party in our honor!)
(But no luck,)
(A stray dog ate my shin.)
- The tibia ? Oh damn!
Rhythmic music
- Hey hey!
Screeching chalk
- Boo!
She's screaming.
- Oh...
It's not okay, right?
- My crow!
Know that I practiced
a joke.
- I am not in the mood.
- What's going on, my pie?
School has resumed. Your Gustave is there.
- I have more instruments.
And a music teacher
without instruments, it's ...
It's like...
It's uh ...
- Like a hare without a beak.
- Yes that's exactly it.
How do you
always find the right words?
- Know, my tit,
that you have a man in your life,
who stands upright
in the face of the storm.
Like a lighthouse in the fog,
a roof over a cottage,
a bamboo ...
- Speaking of roofs,
do you still agree
to live together?
Did you tell your mother?
- Of course!
Oh oh ! Trifle!
Laughs
Vent
Mom ?
- What now ?
- There, uh ...
I would like to tell you
that I have decided ...
uh ...
from ...
- Give birth!
- That uh ...
I want to live...
- What what?
- That you are the prettiest of mothers.
- Are you bothering me about that
on my show?
Parasite, go.
- Yes...
- Sometimes I have the impression
let her lead you by the nose.
- I'm no longer a child,
all the same.
She eats me out of my hand.
Laughs
- It's perfect.
So can I ask my notice?
- Yes, yes, yes ... Oh dear ...
I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.
If you only knew ...
laughing yellow
Phone ring
...
- I'll call you back, honey.
I have to go to the bank.
- Hello, Mr. Kitrish!
Fairy music
M. Kitrish ?
...
M. Kitrish ?
Mr. Kitrish, I'm back from vacation!
...
M. Kitrish...
But are you there?
M. Kitrish !
- Bouh!
He shouts.
Ah, ah! Hello, Ducobu.
- You scared me.
It rocks, your disguise!
- It allows me
to avoid the naggers.
Like bailiffs
and tax inspectors.
Good. How is
my most loyal customer?
- So so.
Something horrible is happening to me.
- Horrible?
Did they remove the canteen?
- Worst.
A new one challenges me to cheat.
He says it's the best.
I want to reduce it to mush.
I need the best of the best of cheating.
- I have everything you need, kid.
So...
I can offer you
the Grugex handkerchiefs.
The top of the snack,
as the name suggests.
Ah! The "I have an answer for everything" turtleneck.
You can sew the materials,
according to the controls.
And here is the lethal weapon.
Use only in an emergency.
In the event of a surprise check.
So.
Pen.
Secret compartment.
Small capsule.
Intriguing music
...
It simulates rabies.
He spits.
It also exists in suppo.
-6 x 7 : 42, 6 x 8 : 48
- Ah! Hello !
- Hello.
- Aren't you at the park with such good weather?
- No, mom, I'm studying.
- Do you already have homework?
- No, I'm getting ahead.
- It's good.
How did this return go ?
-Oh, Super !
I was happy to find Karine,
M. Latouche and Ducobu.
Okay, except I only had
19 in dictation.
- Oh but that is a very nice note
, my dear.
- For a recovery,
not too bad.
But I can do better.
Phone ring
Little laugh
What makes you smile
- Nothing. A friend
who sends me a stupid text.
- Who is this girlfriend?
- You do not know.
- I can see ?
- Yes of course.
Oh darn ! I erased.
- Yeah yeah...
Soft Music Door
- Good evening, my son.
- Hi Dad.
- How was your return to school?
- I think I love school.
- Well, we'll check that out.
So ?
0 in dictation, 2 in math?
It sucks!
- Well,
you should be proud of me.
I have progressed !
Last year, I got 1 in math.
2 is 3 times better!
- No, it's twice as good.
- Oui, donc c'est mieux.
- Qu'est-ce que tu fais, là ?
Tu devrais faire tes devoirs.
Tu couds ?
- Justement, je fais mes devoirs.
Ils ont remplacé l'histoire
par la couture.
- C'est quoi, cette réforme ?
- Pff.
Sonnerie de téléphone
...
- Qu'est-ce qui te fait sourire ?
- Une blague d'une copine...
d'un copain.
Enfin, d'une collègue.
Il rit.
Je me prépare à répondre...
à manger!
Petit rire
Coups sur un bureau
- Allez, allez! On se tait!
On s'installe et on s'assoit!
On s'assoit !
On se tait ! On s'installe!
Peut-on savoir pourquoi vous portez
un col roulé par ce temps ?
Voix enrouée
- J'ai attrapé froid.
It's because of my father.
He locked me in the fridge
without doing it on purpose.
- Ah! Ah, ah.
Strange things are happening
among the Ducobu.
Intriguing music
...
I was sure of it.
Not ingenious enough
for me.
- Ouch ...
- We don't teach an old monkey
to make a face.
Like you can't teach
a kangaroo to jump
on a trampoline!
He's laughing.
Well !
Screeching voice
Want my picture, Lucas?
Wrong notes
...
On tambourine.
- Stop!
It's not time
to do any work!
...
...
Fracas
...
*Jingle
*...
* - Were you there?
*...
* Are you seated well?
* Stop what you're doing,
I have huge news.
*Avec l’Éducation nationale,
nous organisons un concours de chant.
*Si tu as une belle voix
et veux une cagnotte pour ton école,
*inscris-toi au Mini...
*CON-SER-VA-TOIRE !
*...
Ils chantent faux.
- À LA CLAIRE FONTAINE
J'AI TROUVÉ L'EAU SI BELLE
QUE JE M'Y SUIS BAIGNÉ
- Ducobu, taisez-vous.
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T'AIME
JAMAIS JE NE T'OUBLIERAI
Stop.
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS
QUE JE T'AIME
- Chut !
Ils chantent mieux.
- SOUS LES FEUILLES D'UN CHÊNE
JE ME SUIS FAIT SÉCHER
- Au fond ! Stop.
- SUR LA PLUS HAUTE BRANCHE
UN ROSSIGNOL
- Ernestine.
- CHANTAIT...
- Karine...
- IL Y A LONGTEMPS
- Léonie, on laisse chanter Willie.
Voix cristalline
- Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps
Que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Brouhaha
...
- Il chante trop bien.
Willie ?
Oh, Willie.
T'as une trop belle voix.
- C'est clair.
- Tu fais une école de chant ?
- C'est un don.
J'adore chanter.
On me surnomme
Le Rossignol de Londres.
- WAOUH.
- Entre TGV
et ce playboy à deux balles,
je sais pas qui m'énerve le plus.
Le moteur vrombit.
- Hé ! Daddy cool !
- Hi, my man. Get in the car.
*Musique hip-hop
-Il doit être riche.
Exclamations enthousiastes
- HIGH FIVE.
PSHIT TO THE TOP.
- T'as passé une bonne journée ?
Je suis hyper populaire
auprès des girls.
- Tel père, tel fils.
- Léonie ? On te drop chez toi ?
- Oh . ..
- Pas la peine.
On la ramène avec mon père.
- Ah bon ? Première nouvelle.
- C'est normal.
On a passé les vacances ensemble.
- Et alors ? Aucun rapport.
Pourquoi je monterais avec toi ?
- C'est clair.
- Parce que... je... je...
Parce que...
- Parce que quoi?
Vas-y, dis-le.
- Parce que...
Je...je...
Musique de suspense
Parce que je... je...
Parce que je...
Parce que je...
- Parce que tu...
- Je...je...
- Parce que tu m'aimes ?
- Ah ça, non ! C'est parce que...
Tu m'énerves
avec tes questions de fille.
- Décidément,
les garçons sont trop lâches.
- C'EST CLAIR.
- Tu me raccompagnes ?
- With pleasure.
- Pff...
- Attache-toi bien.
J'ai une conduite sportive.
Le moteur vrombit.
Les pneus crissent.
- Regardez ce tas de ferraille!
Rires
- La honte, mon père
et sa poubelle ambulante.
- Tu ferais mieux
de rester concentré.
Demain, je te montre
qui est le roi de la triche.
- Pff...
- Au suivant !
- C'était la console de mon père.
Il adore Tetris.
- C'est un homme préhistorique ou quoi ?
Bon, tu l'auras dans deux jours.
- OK. Merci.
- Au revoir !
Au suivant !
-9 x 7 ?
- Moi, monsieur!
- Oh...
Je vois que nous avons un élève motivé.
Allez-y, RATP.
- C'est TGV, monsieur.
- Oui, RATP, SNCF, TGV...
Allez-y, je vous écoute.
Bonne réponse ?
Bip
-9 x7 ?
63 !
- Bravo !
Who's next ? 6 x 7?
- I !
- No, Ducobu.
You can't
go to the bathroom.
- I want to give the answer.
- You?
- Well yes, me.
- Oh oh ! Like what,
anything can happen. Well.
6 x 7 ?
-6 X 7? Excuse me !
- Bless you.
- Thank you. 6 x 7: 42.
- Oh !
As astonishing as it can be,
right answer.
Ah!
Don't boast, Ducobu.
It was surely a fluke.
Suspense music
...
7 x 7...
Ducobu?
- Uh ... 7 x 7 uh ...
He pretends to sneeze.
49.
- Hm, hm ...
I see what disease
you have.
An allergy
to the multiplication tables.
Doctor Latouche
will give you a prescription:
a zero!
...
At the corner, Ducobu ...
Laughs
Brouhaha
- Wait for me there.
- It's clear.
...
- What did you expect?
At a price for your cheating?
- Pff, you talk.
I wouldn't deserve it,
I don't even know how to cheat anymore.
- Is that what makes you unhappy?
- Yes.
If I can no longer cheat ...
I will have to work.
- Exactly! It is a chance !
At first, it's hard.
But you won't be able to do without it.
- Hey!
The Mbappé of cheating!
Moldy, your mobster.
- Do not worry about me.
It's a bad patch.
It happens to the best.
- To the worst.
You're useless. A blind,
deaf, and dumb teacher would goad you.
- You're so dumb that your feet
are smarter.
- You're so ugly
let your father bleed from his eyes.
- You stink, the flies
block their noses.
- Je vais vomir,
tellement vous dites de bêtises !
*-il y a longtemps que je t'aime
*Jamais je ne t'oublierai.
- C'est notre chance.
On pourrait gagner
le concours du Mini Conservatoire.
- À part la gloire,
ça peut nous rapporter quoi ?
- On peut remporter une cagnotte.
On pourra réparer
la toiture,
racheter des instruments.
- Encore faut-il qu'il gagne.
J'ai peur que ça perturbe les enfants.
La télé, tout ça...
Grincement et fracas
...
Au point où on en est...
- Oh ! Je peux annoncer
la nouvelle à Willie ?
- Oui.
- L'avenir de Saint-Potache
repose sur vous, Willie.
- Vous pouvez compter sur moi.
Je vais leur montrer, à ces nazes...
qui est Willie.
Léonie, c'est pour toi !
"Get Down On lt"
(Kool & The Gang)
...
- Il se la pète!
...
Musique au loin
...
Il rit.
- Qu'est-ce que vous faites là, Lucas ?
Vous n'avez rien à faire ici !
...
- OH !
...
Rires
...
- Ça te dirait
de m'accompagner au piano ?
- Oh, mais génial !
Faire un duo avec toi,
c'est un honneur.
- C'est vraiment des bouffons.
- Ça vole pas haut.
- Tant que vous êtes là,
passez la serpillère.
- Je vais lui claquer le bec,
au Rossignol.
-Il m'a saoulé!
- On va s'allier contre ce mytho.
- T'as raison.
- Les pires supplices. Lui faire bouffer
5 fruits et légumes par jour!
- De ouf!
- Le forcer à lire
les "tables" de La Fontaine.
- À regarder
des films en noir et blanc.
- À écouter de la musique classique.
Il râle.
T'inquiète pas
pour tes lunettes high-tech.
Je t'apprendrai la triche à l'ancienne.
- Et moi, celle du futur.
On est les Frérots de la Tricha.
- MEUH!
Rires
Musique sombre
...
- C'est relou, ici, papa.
Il est nul, ton zoo.
Les animaux sont morts !
- Pas de mauvais esprit.
On vient se cultiver.
- Mais je suis pas une patate.
- Si tu veux pas finir en légume,
arrête de jouer à la console.
Ici, tu vas t'enrichir.
- Ah ouais ?
De combien ?
- Je parle pas d'argent,
mais de nourriture spirituelle.
L'esprit est comme l'estomac.
Il a besoin de nourriture spirituelle.
- Je mangerais bien une crêpe.
- D'abord le cerveau.
- Je vais faire
une indigestion de la tête.
Oh... C'est marrant.
Il me rappelle quelqu'un.
Musique tribale
- Ah ouais...
En tout cas, il fait peur.
- Tu sais que l'extinction des dinosaures
ou du crétacé tertiaire
s'est produit
il y a 66 millions d'années ?
- Oh là là, c'est vrai ?
- Oh... Adeline!
- Celui-là, il mange de l'herbe ?
- Oh, Adeline!
Ouh!
Adeline rit.
Mais...
- C'est cool !
Rires gênés
Musique intrigante
...
C'est fou, le monde est petit.
- Le hasard fait bien les choses.
- Oui.
Petit rire
- On visite ensemble ?
- Oui, génial ! Hein, les enfants ?
- T'as vu ça ?
Ils nous prennent pour des débiles.
- Ils avaient rendez-vous.
- Le hasard...
- Ce hasard, quand même!
Je suis content,
ça faisait si longtemps.
- Moi aussi, Hervé.
Je me demandais ce que vous deveniez.
- L'homme de Néandertal,
notre cousin,
était bien moins évolué
que notre ancêtre
l'Homo Sapiens.
Elle rit.
- À mon avis,
les Ducobu descendent
de l'homme de Néandertal.
- Pff...
- C'est peut-être même
le premier Ducobu.
- Trop marrant.
Ça n'empêche pas ta mère
de craquer sur un Ducobu.
- C'est ton père qui craque.
Il fait tout
ce qu'elle lui dit
comme un chien.
- Pff. Tu rigoles ?
Y a pas de risques.
C'est pas le style de mon père.
C'est en attendant
de trouver la femme de sa vie,
mais son style de meuf,
c'est plus les fashionistas stylées.
Kim Kardashian ou Lady Gaga.
Pas des ringardes.
- Ton père n'est pas non plus
le style de ma mère.
Son genre d'homme,
c'est les mecs stylés et musclés
comme les rappeurs.
Pas les vieux maigrichons !
(-Nia, nia, nia.)
Pff !
La porte grince et on la verrouille.
- Maman ?
Il frappe.
Excuse-moi de te déranger, mais...
Comme tu le sais,
je suis grand maintenant.
Alors, j'ai pris une décision d'adulte.
Depuis quelque temps,
je vis une idylle
en la personne
de Ghislaine Rateau.
Malheureusement,
son studio a brûlé,
dû au fait qu'une souris
a grignoté les fils de sa cafetière.
Je me suis dit qu'il serait sympathique
de l'accueillir.
Qu'en penses-tu ?
Évidemment, tu resterais
la numéro 1 dans mon cœur.
Alors ?
Elle pète.
Oh, je savais que tu comprendrais.
Oh, oh !
- Bon, à bientôt.
- À bientôt.
Musique cocasse
- Oh...
Les parents rient.
- N'importe quoi...
...
C'est marrant, le...
- Non.
- Ah bon.
-Il est sympa, Hervé, non ?
- Tu trouves ?
- Bah oui.
Il est beau gosse,
intelligent, rigolo...
Comme toi, maman.
Petit rire
- C'est gentil, ma chérie.
- C'est juste dommage que...
- Que quoi ?
- Que tu sois pas son style de femme.
- Ah bon ? Pourquoi ça ?
- C'est Ducobu qui me l'a dit.
Il aime les fashionistas
bling-bling et sexy.
- Les "fastanichas" euh...
bling-bling et sexy ?
- Genre Kardashian ou Lady Gaga.
- Ah bon ? Je trouve ça bizarre.
- Oui, oui.
-"Fastonistaches"...
...
- La mère de Léonie
est bizarre, non ?
- Pourquoi tu dis ça ?
Elle est charmante.
- C'est bizarre qu'à son âge,
elle kiffe que les rappeurs musclés.
- Comment ça,
les rappeurs musclés ?
- C'est Léonie qui me l'a dit.
- C'est étonnant. Adeline...
Enfin, Mme Gratin
m'a jamais parlé
de rappeurs musclés.
- Elle est comme sa fille.
Elle se la pète
et elle pense qu'au physique.
Elle est "superficelle".
- Superficielle !
- C'est ce que j'ai dit.
- Les rappeurs super musclés ?
Tonnerre
...
Un corbeau croasse.
- Bienvenue dans ta nouvelle cage,
mon rouge-gorge.
- Merci !
Merci.
Il rit.
Bienvenue dans ta volière,
mon canari !
- Dis donc, on sait chez qui on est.
- Oui. Elle est belle, hein ?
- Ah oui.
- Oui, c'est une très belle femme.
Je ne me lasse pas de la regarder.
Je te fais visiter la suite.
Alors, le salon.
Regarde, on va être bien, là !
- Oh oui...
- Ça me fait penser...
Je vais à la pharmacie
pour les sels
pour les bains de pieds de maman.
- Ah oui ?
- Je lui masse la plante des pieds
tous les jeudis.
- Ah !
- Tu pourras le faire,
si ça t'amuse !
- Avec le concours de chant,
j'ai pas une minute.
Et je voudrais pas te priver
d'un moment privilégié avec ta maman.
- Tu sais que je suis partageur,
ma mouette. Bisou !
Oh, c'est... C'est bien !
Oui.
Musique inquiétante
...
Dégoût
...
Cri
Musique angoissante
...
Musique inquiétante
...
- Bonjour, numéro 2 !
Cri
Vous m'avez fait peur.
- Y a des serviettes propres
sur le dessus.
- Ah...
...
- Bonjour...
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour, monsieur.
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
- Bravo, belle musculature.
- Merci.
- Pour devenir comme vous vite,
c'est comment ?
-Il m'en a fallu du temps,
d'effort et de sueur...
J'en ai poussé de la fonte, bonhomme.
- Si je veux du biceps
vite fait,
il y a forcément un truc,
un produit?
C'est pour une femme. Elle va me quitter
si je prends pas de la masse fissa.
- J'ai quelque chose.
Mais pas homologué.
C'est pas légal.
-Il me faut du muscle.
- C'est puissant.
Musique intrigante
Des hormones de croissance
pour taureau.
- Je le veux.
- Allez-y mollo.
C'est du violent.
Avec ça,
une souris attaquerait un pitbull.
- C'est génial !
C'est ce qu'il me faut.
- M. Muscle ?
Si j'en prends,
je grandirai plus vite ?
- Fais pas cette connerie.
Ça accélèrerait ta croissance.
Ta voix changerait.
Tes poils pousseraient comme un yéti.
T'aurais des boutons.
Voix diabolique
Tu veux pas devenir Shrek ?
- Ma voix changerait?
Cri et fracas
Musique inquiétante
...
- It is occupied.
She's screaming.
...
She plays Y a d'la joie.
...
- Hello, kids!
False note
Shall I make you brunch?
- No thanks. We prefer to
stay light to rehearse.
- Ah, OK.
"No worry“ !
Giggle
Bye, losers !
- But ...
She's going to the carnival in Rio or what?
- No, I think she's just having
her late teenage seizure.
Scary music
She's screaming.
...
- A problem ?
- How many mothers do you have?
She is everywhere.
- But anyway, my pheasant ...
You exaggerate...
...
- What is that language ?
Looks like Martian.
- Yes, look.
There's something in French.
"Do not exceed the prescribed dose."
- The dose" ?
- Does that mean "box"?
- Ah, well done.
One dose equals one box.
And we add the milk?
- Um yes.
"Stir
so as not to make lumps."
Then we put the honey
and the mint syrup
for a pretty color.
Little laugh
"Mambo No. 5"
(Lou Bega)
...
Intriguing music
...
- "From an admirer
"unknown but very beautiful.
Bon appétit."
Surely a kindergarten.
...
- Do you think it will act quickly?
- I dunno.
- Mmh!
Too good.
Alarm
- Silence !
- We didn't say anything.
- Shut up,
Lucas!
Today,
I decided to make you happy.
To give you
a moment of relaxation.
- YEAH!
- We go together
we have fun declining the gerund
from the verb "baguenauder".
- Oh ...
- Great!
- That is to say, take a walk.
Intriguing music
- He ate almost everything.
- Will it act quickly?
- I brought my piano.
Miss Rateau is waiting for us.
Gurgling
He moans.
What's the matter ?
Laughs
He moans.
Willie farts.
...
- That's not the Mini Conservatory.
- This is the school of farts!
- Willie? Ooh there ...
Are you ok, Willie?
Yes ? Good.
We sit in silence.
As you know,
Willie will represent Saint-Potache
in the competition of the Mini Conservatory.
He will be accompanied by Léonie.
I ask you
to encourage them very strongly.
Applause
...
She plays Y a d'la joie.
...
- There is joy
Hello, hello, the swallows
There is joy
His voice derails.
In the sky
Over the roofs there's
joy
Laughter
and the sun in the alleys
There is joy
everywhere
There is joy
- What is happening ?
- I dunno.
- Do you have a cold?
A pollen allergy?
We're going to the infirmary.
Here. Everything is fine !
- What is happening ?
Laughter
Calm music
...
...
...
- So ?
-He abused the candy a bit,
but if not, he goes crazy,
this kid.
His blood pressure is good,
he has no fever.
- But his voice,
how do you explain his voice?
- Maybe precocious puberty.
He's already molting.
- Oh !
Intriguing music
No?
They laugh.
Hubbub
...
Soft music
- Oh, but don't worry.
You will find your voice.
It must be back-to-school fatigue.
Low voice
- Do you think so?
Little cries
What's the matter ?
- Uh ... No, nothing.
- are you sure, huh?
- Yes Yes.
- What are
these kids who molt so early?
In my time, we moved to 14 years old.
It was good.
Girls were becoming young women.
Spring was spring.
The boys
were in the army.
- You are right.
Everything is reversed.
-He was cute this morning.
There is a teenager
with chin hair.
It's a catastrophe.
- Don't worry, my ostrich.
We will find a solution.
- Spare me those grotesque names.
I can not stand it anymore!
Willie was our only hope.
Saint-Potache
is doomed to ruin.
He slams the door.
Crash and screams
- Saint-Potache
is doomed to ruin?
What are we going to become?
It's a catastrophe.
- I didn't know
school was going so badly.
- Neither do I. It's my fault.
I have to fix my nonsense.
I must save Saint-Potache.
- But how ?
- By winning the Mini Conservatory.
He's laughing.
- You sing like a pan.
- Yeah,
but I cheat like a king!
Fairy music
Here is paradise.
Hello, Mr. Kitrish! Mr. Kitrish?
M. Kitrish ?
M. Kitrish ?
- Hello !
Ah, ah!
- This is TGV, my best friend.
- Hello.
- An ace of the mob.
- Welcome to the temple of cheating.
You're home.
- I need you.
I made a mistake.
- Nonsense ?
It's great, I love it!
Tell.
- No, but I'm not proud of it.
On the contrary.
The school is in danger of closing.
- Did you crack them?
Oh!
You won, you are the chosen one!
He sighs.
- I don't want the school to close.
I even want to save her.
- What is this nonsense?
A dunce who wants to save his school?
This is the dumbest thing
I have heard! It is shameful.
Contrary to morality!
- Yes, but...
- Shut up. I've heard enough.
You were my best disciple.
You have disappointed me.
I don't want to see you anymore.
- Attention.
Without school, no more dunces.
Without dunces, more customers.
- HM hm.
- It's absurd, but logical.
- To save your store,
you must help us.
- How? 'Or' What ?
- By helping me win the contest.
It is broadcast on television.
- You want to cheat live?
The acquiesces.
- The biggest cheat
in the history of the world!
- I have what it takes.
...
Come on, I'll let you in
in the Holy of Holies.
Squeaking
...
- WOW...
...
- Wow, but it's magic here!
- Awesome...
...
- Oh ...
- We don't touch anything!
There are fragile things here.
Oh ... Well, what did I do with that thing
?
He sighs.
- Wow...
- He's there.
...
50 years later,
it remains a jewel of technology.
Help me.
We're going to put it there.
It's fragile.
- This wreck?
- It's not a wreck.
Thanks to this machine,
guys singing
like casseroles
have become
world singing stars.
Finally..
It's a secret.
Well...
I'm doing a demo.
Sizzling
Larsen
We do not touch!
Well...
Sizzling
*-Good. One. Two.
* Paris-Bordeaux-Le Mans.
The voice ripples.
* The Archduchess socks ...
High
- pitched voices * are they dry?
*Wait.
* it will suffice
The voice changes.
* Of a spark
Johnny's voice
* With nothing, with a gesture
* All it takes is a spark
* Yes, a little daylight
For ...
*Light the fire
*Light the fire
- Oh . ..
* -And see grow up
* The flame in your eyes
They shout.
The fire extinguisher! Quickly !
Warning ! Step aside.
Oh ! Oh no !
Oh it's ...
He's coughing.
It was a unique piece.
- Shouldn't ignite, too.
- All is not lost.
I can reproduce it.
- Can you do that?
- Fingers in the nose.
Even reduce it in size.
- Should be a magician
or a genius.
- I am both.
But if you don't trust me
you can take
singing lessons. Huh?
- We're going to use his method, right?
“My Benz”
(Supreme NTM)
He sings.
*...
- Pope ? Pope! Pope!
What are you doing ?
- I sculpt my body.
- There's work to be done.
- Do not worry about me.
He moans.
Thank you.
- I'm going to bed.
*...
Clicks
...
- What are you doing, mom?
- Stories for my Insta.
Adeline laughs.
Why ?
You want to tell me something ?
...
- When will puberty happen to me?
- Ooh there ...
That, my dear ...
You have plenty of time to think about it.
- Will my voice change?
- A little, but it is especially
that of the boys who moult.
- And for the girls,
what's going on?
- Well, some
have acne pimples.
Laughs Scary
music
And then hairs growing
here and there, everywhere.
Oh yes. You are going to have beautiful
braces, my dear.
Oh then the chest, too,
which grows, grows,
getting bigger ...
...
- Ducobu is right.
I never want to grow up.
- Oh, my little cat.
A door slams.
- You will
finish like a dondon,
number 2!
- And you, we could go
skydiving
with your panties!
- Here we go again...
You are real kids!
- She worked my little Swiss!
- What nerve!
It was mine!
- No, it's her
who started. Chipie!
- Liar!
- That's enough !
Enough !
There is not one to catch up with the other.
Around the corner, the Ghislaine! You will copy
"I'll be nice
to the other Ghislaine."
Who is the boss ?
Disturbing music
- What is wrong with you ?
...
I gave you life. I am your mother.
Without me, you wouldn't be here, minus.
- She's your mother,
you owe her respect.
- We were too nice to him.
Too good, too stupid.
You're going to go straight.
Believe me.
...
Am I right, number 2?
- I could not have said better!
- Eh eh.
- Castration.
Deep voice that shifts
- Get out. You stink.
- I don't know
what shocks me the most.
Its buttons or its style.
Anyway,
if teens are like that,
I'm in no rush to go to college.
- It's clear.
Soft music
...
Fire me that stuff!
Go play cards!
...
Souph
- Children should
never grow up.
- Miss Rateau?
What can we do?
We are bored!
- Do what you want.
- Mademoiselle ?
- Hum ?
- I can sing ?
- Oh no, Ducobu. Already I have the morale
in the socks ...
- Pff ...
I worked on my voice.
It's to help Saint-Potache.
- Pff ...
If you'd like to make a fool
of yourself ...
Sizzling
Crystal clear voice
- I give you my notes
I give you my words
When your voice takes them away
At your own pace
A fragile
and solid shoulder at the same time
What I imagine
and what I believe
I give you all my differences
All these faults
Which are so many chances
We will never be standards
Good people
I give you what I have
and what I'm worth
Applause
...
- We are saved!
- Ducobu is leaving?
- On the contrary.
He's going to save Saint-Potache.
- Ducobu, savior of Saint-Potache?
-He's even more talented than Willie!
- My stork, are
we talking about the worst dunce in France?
Screaming
- That's enough now, Gustave!
He's not cut out for studies,
but he's a great performer. Yes !
She slams the door.
Fracas
- Did you tell him the time?
-He must have had a setback.
- It's a Ducobu.
Cats don't make dogs.
Exasperation.
Someone's knocking at the door.
- Come in.
- Sorry.
A setback.
- What is that
that this olibrius?
Uh ... sit down.
- Hello. Hello.
You summon me
for my son's nonsense?
I don't know how to do it anymore.
I'm going to crack down, take
everything away from him.
Pocket money, TV, comics,
the console, the cakes.
Even the holidays!
- You're not there.
He didn't do anything wrong.
On the contrary. He's a genius.
- Yes.
- Oh ... a genius?
Calm music
A genius in cancer?
- No, singing!
- Yeah, well ...
It is not "Master Bims", but ...
I must admit
that he has a nice touch of voice.
But if I smell
some jumble,
I will be ruthless, relentless,
fierce!
While remaining
within the limits of the laws
of the Republic.
- Mr. Latouche means
that he has incredible talent.
- Pff ...
- Unimaginable, phenomenal.
We are counting on him
to save the school.
- If the fate of the school
depends on my son ...
is that it is bad.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- I'll bring him back to
the right side of the Force.
There may still be some good in him.
- It's clear.
- You don't want to come and have fun?
- It makes me drunk having fun.
I am over the age.
It's for brats.
-He has become an idiot!
Like a teenager.
- It's clear.
- They're chasing you ...
- Ducobu, congratulations!
It's official.
You participate in the
Mini Conservatory competition.
It's amazing !
But gonna have to work hard.
We have a week. Let's start
the rehearsals now.
- The problem is,
I have a fragile voice.
I don't want to ruin it like Willie.
- Without repetition,
you don't stand a chance.
In music, no secret.
It's work, always work.
- Yes, but there is also the feeling.
It must remain a game, a pleasure.
- It is not false.
Mozart spoke of the pleasure of playing.
- I'll do it to you like Mozart.
- Oh is ...
You don't write on the windows.
- I do what I want.
You got me drunk there.
- First warning.
If you persist in this attitude,
I'm sending you to the director.
Soupü
Exasperation
He growls in a hoarse voice.
- It's the cheat of the century.
- But if we get kicked,
we will be toast .
- I risk. A cheat like this
only happens once.
If you're scared,
you can always steer clear.
- You laugh ? I'll go with you
to the end of the cheat!
- Oh, well done, Ducobu.
I'm too happy for you.
Why were you pretending
to sing badly?
- Modesty.
- The older ones are like that.
- Can I ask you a favor ?
- Yes.
- I would love to accompany you too much.
I had to do it with Willie
before he became a teenager.
- Of course,
but I'm in charge.
- Normal, you're the genius.
When do we rehearse?
- Oh no, no rehearsal.
I play it like Mozart:
may it remain a pleasure.
Tongue snap
- Hey ... no, but ... Hmm.
I have been coming
to the Blue Lagoon hotel for 10 years .
I have suite 702,
sea view with breakfast.
You notice!
Gluten-free pastries,
lactose-free chocolate,
sugar-free jam.
- Antenna in 20 seconds.
- It's okay !
I'm preparing my vacation there.
I want a driver
from the airport to the hotel.
Ah!
No, I don't take the buses
with tourists in flip-flops.
- Antenna in 10 seconds.
- Listen.
I'll pass you my assistant.
(I want a jacuzzi on the terrace.)
(I want to paddle board
on my jacuzzi.)
(It's clear ?)
*Jingle
Public ovation
*...
* -Good evening, children!
*Are you OK ?
-YES!
Applause
* -I'm happy to go on vacation ...
* To meet you
for this new season of the Mini ...
- CON-SER-VA-TOIRE!
* -Without further delay
and to begin,
* he represents the school of Saint-Potache.
* He is a model student loved by all.
* Give thunderous applause
* to Ducobu!
Public ovation
...
*Jingle
* So ... Ducobu,
* can you introduce us to
your partner?
* -Yes, it's Léonie.
My best friend and the best student.
*-Magnificent. Leonie?
*-Good evening everyone.
* I am very happy to be here.
* Since I was little,
I watch ...
* -We are delighted, Léonie.
* What will you interpret to us?
*-Bella.
*-Bali ?
*Oh, oh, oh ! Super!
* I'm going on vacation!
* -No, Bella, by Master Gims.
*-Super.
*I also love.
*It's your turn.
Applause
- You go-y, Ducobu!
...
Crackling
Soft music
...
* Ouh ouh ouh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
* Ooh ooh Bella
*She answered to the name of Bella
* The locals
didn't want it expensive
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
*She answered to the name of Bella
* The locals
didn't want it expensive
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
- Is it good for the jacuzzi?
- No.
They can't install it.
- Have you booked a hotel
or a campsite for me?
- I can not do anything about it.
Woman laughs
...
- What is that ?
-He rocks, my son.
I'm not his daron for nothing.
Brraa! Brraa!
- Oh but
they are too hyped.
Ahead of 3 collections
over the Kardashians.
Do not seek.
They're the fall-winter trend
.
- It's them! Barn!
- Brraa!
-He is good, this little one.
* -The locals
didn't want the expensive one
*She made all the towns quake
* People told me
beware of that girl
* Come on, make me turn my head
* Hey, hey
* Turn your head, hey, hey make
me dumb like my feet
* Hey, hey
* Stupid as my feet
* I am the shadow of your dog
* Hey, hey
- Oh, oh !
* -Hey, hey
- I don't know how he does it ...
but he's cheating. He cheats.
* -The locals
didn't want the expensive one
* She made
all the villages tremble
* People told me
beware of that girl
Applause
*Jingle
- Well done!
- Well done!
- Well done!
- Well done!
*...
*-What talent ! This voice !
*Oh oh oh ! I was there.
Frankly, well done.
* Oh, oh ...
and the viewers
* give it the note ...
* give it the note ...
*from 10!
* What qualifies him for the future!
Cheers
...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
*-Thank you.
- DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
Excited hubbub
...
- Let it go!
- DUCOBU!
Cries of excitement
...
- Get back all!
Epic music
...
- Sad time
when dunces are stars
and where I stay in the shadows.
Like a cockroach.
- DUCOBU, WE LOVE YOU!
- They've gone mad!
- Mad about you.
And they are not the only ones.
The whole of France is ducobuse.
Your video has been liked
millions of times!
You are a star! It's enormous !
- And
I count for plums?
- Of course not.
We are a team!
Ducobu and Léonie,
manage the artistic.
Me, I take care of the biz.
- The biz?
- That means I'm going to handle everything.
I'll be your manager.
Voice that moves
- Me, I do the service of order.
I'm fed up of school.
I want to become a bodyguard.
- YEAH.
- Yeah!
Brouhaha
...
- Where do you think you are?
We are here
at the school of the Republic,
not on an entertainment board!
In your places!
Well done for your performance last night,
Ducobu.
You will do
a good acrobat.
When you are grown up
and far away.
We are here to learn.
Not for antics.
On the board, the diva.
-He couldn't revise.
He was preparing the Mini Conservatory!
- It's not my problem
if your friend likes to be a puppet
on television sets.
I said, "On the board, the diva."
- No sir.
- How's that, no"?
- I have to save
my vocal cords.
Laughs
- Monsieur takes himself
for a star?
Has he lost his sense of reality?
I will remind you of them.
You will copy: "Being a star
does not exempt from studying."
Boos
...
- It is unfair.
You can not do this !
'Yes. I can !
- Yes 1 'Not 1
'Not!
- Yes !
'Not!
- Yes !
'Not!
- Yes !
It is I who command !
It is I who command !
So sit down!
We will speak again
when you wear a mustache!
And then, stop!
Otherwise, I'll punish you all!
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
- Silence !
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
- Silence ! Silence!
It's a mutiny! Silence!
- Welcome to Saint-Potache.
The students laugh.
- Silence !
Silence!
...
- But finally !
What is this hustle and bustle ?
-He started !
Mr. Director,
he's disturbing me !
- Calm down !
- Our little Castafiore
refuses to comply
with educational requirements!
- Should I call you back
that this brave boy
is our only hope?
- Mr. Director.
In any case...
- No. He already has terrible pressure
on his shoulders.
Do not add more!
Pamper him.
Here.
Pamper him!
- Pamper him?
Humiliation.
- Do you mind
if we take a selfie?
It's for my ex, you never know.
She likes you.
How nice.
Click
And hop ! And hop !
Intriguing music
...
He has his ego crisis,
it will pass to him.
We do another one there.
Click
Dramatic music
A clock strikes.
- Gustave is still not here.
I worry.
- It's strange.
In the evening endives with ham.
He never did that to me.
He will hear me.
Phone
- It's him!
- Put on the intercom.
- How are you, my Gustave?
Where are you ?
* -I'm at the bottom of the hole,
my little crow.
- Well go back, you potato!
* -Mom ?
- Who do you want it to be? Pope ?
Come home fissa,
the endives will cool!
* -I'm not going home, mom.
I can't take any more.
* No one respects me.
My students...
* Even my manager puts me down.
I am useless.
- But yes, my Gustave,
you are useful for something.
You use ...
You use ...
- You're useless !
Come home fissa or it will screw up!
Here !
She hangs up.
- But he needed help.
- Do not be moved,
number 2.
He will tuck his tail
between his legs.
The glass clangs.
At table.
- Oh, it's hot!
- Yeah.
- I don't want to go home!
I don't want to go home!
- Stop your whims,
Sarah.
- You're too mean.
- Do you want me to calm this child?
I am a professional.
He yells.
She told you no!
We don't talk like that to our mother!
Stop your whining!
You're breaking our heads!
You will kill her!
Look at her, she looks like an old woman!
- What I concern myself ?
Take care of your butt!
Come on, honey.
Sad music
- I don't understand this world anymore.
Oh the little bastard!
Ducobu!
You little savage!
I will teach you to draw
on cars!
I'm going to crack down like never before!
You hear ?
Like never ! Like never !
Like never !
Like never ... Like never ...
Ducobu, Ducobu, Ducobu ...
- I'm gonna need backup.
There is a nutcase
who yells at a trash can.
I do not understand.
- Ducobu ”.
*
Public Jingle Ovation
...
* -Good evening, children.
*Are you OK ?
- YES!
* -Hearts beat,
hands tremble,
* shaky legs,
* the pupils dilate, it is the maximum
suspense for the semi-fina ...
- THE !
* -Enough talk.
May the best win. Finally...
* May the best sing!
Little laugh
*Jingle
*...
* Applaud Noéline
from the J. Prévert school.
Auto-Tune
* -Love is a bohemian child
* He never never
knew a law
* If you don't
love me I love you
* And if I love you
Take care
* -Antoine,
from J. Ferry school!
Auto-Tune
* - he should have done it
* Believe me
We all said
* Ah, it's a shame
Ah, it's a shame
* This may be the last time
* - We applaud Charles-Èdouard
from the Jean d'Ormesson school!
*-In the jungle
*Terrible jungle
*The lion is dead tonight
...
* A-wimboé
* -And our last candidates,
Léonie and Ducobu,
* who will perform a classic
of Italian song for us,
* I'll leave with you.
Caricatural Italian accent
* Hey, what a pizza!
* -When I'm just dreaming
On the horizon
* E mancan
*The word
* Yes, I know there is no light
* ln a room
When missing
*the sun
* If you are not there
- I have a good idea.
Buy me
vegan index 50 sunscreen
and two
bamboo toothbrushes .
* - Seen and experienced
* With you
* Now yes there
* Vivrô
* With you
* Partirô
...
Shock
His voice derails.
*Me with you
He holds the note perfectly.
...
Public ovation
...
- What's the matter ?
- I do not know,
it blew a cable, my console.
I hope he will
qualify anyway.
- Yeah.
It would be changed.
* -We can applaud all our candidates.
Applause
* Thank you for them.
* Obviously,
* you all deserve to win.
'Unfortunately tonight
* two children will leave us.
Suspense music
* I have, in this envelope,
* the names of the 2 lucky candidates
that you, the viewers,
have chosen.
* Two children who will have
the opportunity to go to the final
* to try to get
a scholarship for their school.
* The finalists ...
*are...
...
- Oh, go ahead, stress!
...
* -The finalists ...
*are...
- He bugged!
Does he say them, the names or what?
* -Charles-Édouard
of the Jean d'Ormesson school!
- I knew it would be me.
I knew it would be me.
- I want to kiss you!
Public ovation
...
* -The 2nd finalist ...
*is...
...
* Ducobu!
Cheers
...
'Nice ...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
* - See you next week for the final.
- We're in the final!
- Good luck, dear colleague.
You will need it,
with your zebra bouboule.
- Don't worry, dear colleague.
Our "zebra bouboule",
unlike
your barber boy,
fly like a butterfly,
sting like a wasp,
and bangs like a boxer.
We're going to atomize your face!
- Elegant.
Marie-Bernadette, come on.
Happy music
- Oh sorry...
Pardon.
My Gustave has returned, sorry.
Oh!
My Gustave!
Oh... Oh!
Organs
Nasal voice
- I have no fun
to name myself Gustave.
I have the great honor to introduce myself.
Gérard Gérardini.
I am the main teacher
of this little prodigy.
He hisses.
Little cry
- Nice to meet you, Miss Rateau.
Eh yes.
I noticed you.
I took my information.
Such a pretty panther
does not escape the eyes of a lynx
of an old lion in rutting season.
- Oh is ...
I confused you with another.
- I'll make you smile soon,
my little hyena.
He hisses.
He's laughing.
- It's thanks to you, bro.
- Yes !
- Hey oh, the machos! And me ?
- I apologize.
Laughs
Wait for me, I'm coming.
- Let's go ?
- What is happening ?
You should be
the happiest of all.
- Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
You know what they say.
"You miss one being
and everything is depopulated."
- Who are you talking about?
- From M. Latouche.
Do you miss him?
- Oh no.
Then he just went on vacation.
It is not worth putting yourself
in this state.
He's not dead.
- No, you were lied to,
he didn't go on vacation.
He disappeared!
The worst part
is that not everyone cares.
She blows her nose loudly.
- Wait.
I think I know where he is.
- Are you sure he's here?
- That's where all my teachers end up.
- Ah yes ?
Disturbing music
...
- HELLO, JEAN-PIERRE.
ARE YOU COMING TO PLAY WITH US?
...
He yells.
Ducobu!
Ducobu!
- What was that ?
- My CE1 teacher, M. Mignard.
- What did you do to him?
- Nothing. I always come
across fragile teachers.
- "That we did ..." Two small points.
"A few...
"hymenomycetes,
some hymenomycetes.
Comma.
Ducobu!
We do not copy from our neighbor!
You answer, in addition?
I'll watch you, you
insolent little one! Here !
He breaks the chair.
Are we less clever?
- Oh, Gustave !
My little eagle.
- Oh...
Oh, Ghislaine, oh...
My Finistère
moorhen , I missed you.
- All is finished.
Your swallow is there.
Soft
The sweet child
Very sweet
The sweet child
Very soft
- One more.
- A what ?
- A Ducobu.
They are everywhere.
These demons are harassing me!
(He's there, right behind us.)
(He looks at us with his vicious look.)
- No, he's not a demon.
This is the real Ducobu.
- The real Ducobu?
- Ouch! But it is forbidden
to touch the students!
- You don't want
to leave me alone, forget about me?
- I just wanted to apologize.
And tell you that I love you.
- You ...
You love Me ?
- A lot. To prove it,
I swear to never cheat again.
- No more nonsense.
I don't believe you anymore.
Scalded cat fears cold water.
- No...
I believe he is sincere.
- You swear you'll never cheat again?
- Promised sworn.
- Suspicion.
- No, no, Gustave.
Come on, come on, my pelican.
I'll take you to the Mini Conservatory.
- Huguette ?
It's you ?
She's screaming.
- Good evening, Miss Rateau.
Organs
Is a candlelit dinner
around a horse bib
or a tongue of beef
would suit you?
- No, Gerard.
- I would at least have had the pleasure
to cross your path.
- Mr. director?
Who is this fanatic
who dares to seduce my dove?
- He's your alter ego
from the Ormesson school.
- My alter ego ?
This grotesque character?
Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
- My director
is ready to engage.
- Thank you, but I will not leave
Saint-Potache and my Gustave.
Think carefully.
You can join
a team of winners
or stay with morons.
- It's all considered!
You are not my type.
- Did you hear, nerdy?
She loves alpha males.
Stop harassing my fiancée,
old alley cat!
He hisses.
Oh?
Gérard hisses.
Gustave growls.
...
He's laughing.
- Did you see my can?
He left with his tail between his paws,
this old fennec.
It is pitiful.
- Aren't you too stressed ?
- Serious! And you ?
- Quiet, wesh.
Do not be impressed.
- No, not too much.
- Aren't you nervous?
- What is that ?
- It's the fear of the artist
before the stage.
Like when you have
a lump in your stomach.
- Precisely, the problem
is that I have nothing
in the stomach.
- Duco?
Duco, come on, come on!
- Wait, I'll see my team.
What?
- That moron spilled his Coke
on the console.
She is dead.
- You should have watched him!
He's a teenager!
'It's okay !
- A problem ?
- No, I'm just starting
to get nervous.
Find a solution !
- I do not have the time !
- I can go.
- YOU, SHUT UP!
- Leonie?
Air in a minute.
After Charles-Édouard, it's up to you.
- OK.
Ducobu, are you coming? It's ours.
Tension music
- I try, but I promise nothing.
...
* -Good evening!
* Jingle
Applause
*...
* Good evening,
are you okay?
- YES!
* -Welcome to the Mini final ...
- CON-SER-VA-TOIRE!
* -This is the expected moment.
The schools of Jean d'Or ...
- MESSON !
* -And Saint ...
- POTACHE!
* -Keep their ...
* Which of these 2 candidates will win?
* To start this final,
the draw has designated ...
* Charles-Édouard!
Applause and boos
(In 2 hours, I'm on the plane.)
*-Good evening.
...
- It's not Charles-Édouard,
it's Charlatan!
Charles-Zero!
- I won't let you.
You insult
innocence and culture!
He imitates a fart.
Oh, oh, oh...
Chut.
"Life in pink"
...
* -Eyes that make mine lower
* A laugh that is lost on his mouth
* Here is the portrait without retouching
*From the man I belong to
*When he takes me in his arms
* That he speaks to me softly
*I see life in pink
*He tell me love words
*Everyday words
* -AND THAT MAKES ME SOMETHING
*-he has entered in my heart
*A slice of happiness
*That I know the reason
*That's it for me
*Me for him in life
*He told me
* He swore it
*For life
*Nights of endless love
* A great happiness which takes its place
* Trouble
Sorrows fade away
*Happy, happy to die
- TGV, you have to
get your guts out.
Do you hear, Charles-Édouard?
Without this machine, I am dead!
- I do what I can.
She seems to be walking.
I don't know if she'll hold up.
Well...
- Anyway,
we no longer have a choice.
Hit or miss.
- Yeah.
*-So I feel Inside me
*My heart
*Who beats
...
* La la la la la la
- LA LA LA LA
...
Public ovation
...
*-Thank you so much.
*-Formidable.
* Congratulations to Charles-Èdouard.
* So many emotions.
* I ask you to welcome
Léonie and Ducobu!
Ovation
Boos
We hurry,
I have a plane to catch.
Applause
- It's Duconul!
- No, it's Ducobu!
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
He hoots.
- DUCOBU ...
* -We write on the walls
In the ink of our veins
* We draw
everything we want to say
*All over
*Around us
* There are signs of hope
in the eyes
* Give away their writings
* Because in the night
*Everything disappears
* Even their trace
...
* We write the name on the walls
* From those we love
* Messages for the days to come
* We write on the walls
In ink from our veins
* We draw
* Everything we would like to say
...
* We write on the walls
* The strength of our dreams
* Our hopes
* In the shape of graffiti
* We write on the walls
For love to rise
* A beautiful day on the sleeping world
* Larsen
* Words
Low voice
* Only engraved
High- pitched voice
* Not to forget
Sizzling
High-pitched voice
* To change everything
- Isn't he the one who sings?
His voice derails.
Soft music
- Oh is ...
The opposing team laughs and hoots.
Voice rigged, high-
pitched then deep
...
- Oh...
He sings out of tune with his real voice.
The music stops, decrescendo.
- This is cheating !
He's a cheater!
Cheater!
Boos
...
- I knew it.
I knew it! I knew it!
'Oh my God!
- My son, a cheater!
Go ahead, the te-hon!
- Why did he do that ?
- Tsst ...
Brraa! Brraa!
She's crying.
- I won't forgive you.
You put me to shame in
front of all of France.
Boos
...
- Cheater! Cheater!
Cheater!
...
*-What a shame. What a masquerade.
* We have just witnessed
the biggest scandal in television.
* You owe us some explanation,
young man.
* We are in the presence
of a vocal doping.
- OH !
Boos
...
* I therefore declare
* Charles-Édouard
of the Ormesson school
* winner of this edition!
- Yeah! Well done ! Well done !
Ovation
...
*-Boloss...
* I knew I
was the best.
- Bravo !
*-Thank you. Thank you.
* -Bravo, young man.
* As for you, Ducobu,
* gentlemen,
* take this criminal away.
Boos
- Take it out!
What a shame !
- I beg you.
I ruined the party
I know,
but let me explain.
I don't want to end my life in prison!
* -You want to hear
his explanations?
- YES!
- NON !
*-Very good.
* You have two minutes flat.
- Thank you.
Sad music
...
* Thank you, audience.
...
* I admit, I cheated.
* Worst of all, I betrayed
* the confidence
of those who love me.
* My daddy, Leonie ...
Squeak
* My dear professors
Rateau and Latouche,
* but also my classmates.
* For them,
I was a savior, a hero.
* But in real life, I am a zero.
* A jester worse
than Voldemort and Darth Vader.
* But it was to save
my ruined school.
* Because I love my school.
...
* Without her, my teachers,
my classmates and me,
* we will end up orphans.
Worse, homeless people of knowledge.
...
* It's like
we're being punished for life.
* Give us the means, a future.
We want to learn.
...
* A child without a school,
* it's like a PlayStation
without a controller.
* Or a pain au chocolat ...
...
* without chocolate.
...
*Thank you.
He applauds alone.
The others join him.
...
* -It's moving.
...
* I can't reward
a cheater.
Boos
- No!
- No.
*-Wait.
* We have all been ...
very touched by ...
* the moving story of this boy
who loves his school so much.
* Upon reflection, I think ...
* the rules are the rules.
- Yes Yes of course.
* -Ducobu did not win.
* But he moved me.
* That's why I decided to offer
* part of my salary at his school.
Cheers
...
* Hope this helps.
*I think so.
* Wait, wait.
*
I am told that I am not the only one.
* The pledges are
pouring in from all over France!
Cheers
...
- DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
DUCOBU!
DUCOBU! DUCOBU! DUCOBU!
- Oh !
Respect, son, you're a killer!
Brraa!
- You're too great.
I really like you!
- Brraa!
- Ducobu?
- You should be happy.
I saved the school.
- The end does not justify the means.
- It was my last cheat.
Promised, swore, spat.
- Don't spit, Ducobu.
Know that if you persist
in cheating,
you will always have me
on your way.
- Say, Mr. Latouche?
You who are successful
with women,
Can I ask you a question ?
With Léonie,
we had a serious argument.
And I would like us to be reconciled.
- Indeed,
I know women perfectly.
But there is one area
where you cannot cheat. Love.
- What do you know,
virgin?
- Ah !
Disturbing music
- I'm coming to get you, lazy.
Do you think you're gonna stay
with your dondon?
- You know what the dondon said to you?
Enough, persecution.
- What's wrong with
number 2?
You live with me.
You can always back out.
- You will have looked for it, mom.
With Ghislaine, we love each other.
We're leaving, we can't take it anymore!
Suspense music
Huh, Ghislaine?
- Yes, we love each other!
And we can't take it anymore!
- What is
she saying, the bitch, she unlocks?
Solemn music
- I'm grown up now.
...
It is time for the eagle to leave its nest.
- It's your last word?
- Yes, that's my last word.
- Oh...
- Now
you're number 2, mom.
Disturbing music
...
This is it, I am a man.
Heroic music
- Kiss.
- Get away !
Here !
Disturbing music
- This is not the time
to tell them
qu'on est in love.
Brraaa, brraa ! Love, love, love !
Tss, tss, tss ...
- Uh ”.
Take it pretty well, eh, but ...
But there, I saturate, in fact.
Your look, your way of speaking ...
I can not anymore.
- I thought you liked
muscular rappers?
- Bah not.
Otherwise,
I wouldn't have fallen for you.
Me, I like the way you are.
- Is that so ?
That's good, because I also
preferred you before.
When you were simple, natural.
- It is true ?
...
- Leonie!
...
I am sorry.
But it was for a good cause.
I promise to start over.
- You told me that 100 times.
Why would I trust you?
- Well because ...
Is ...
Because ...
- What, Ducobu?
- Because I...
- It's coming ?
We're not going to spend the year there!
I can not hear.
Stronger !
- Because I love you!