Drunks (1995) - full transcript

At the beginning of a nightly Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, Jim seems particularly troubled. His sponsor encourages him to talk that night, the first time in seven months, so he does - and ...

(smooth jazz music)

(vehicles whooshing)

(metallic rattling)

(pedestrians chattering)

(music drowns out voices)

- [Man] This one, (music

drowns out voice) here,

got the automatic (music

drowns out voice).

(groovy jazz music)

(truck beeping)

- Hi, Melanie.

- Oh, hey, Jim, I'm sorry.

I can't believe how late I'm running.

(thudding)

- I'm early.

- [Melanie] Come on, Billy.

- (faint speaking) It's

like a war out there.

(thudding)

- Well, stay warm.

- 'Night, Marty.

- Bye, Jim.

- 'Night.

- [Marty] Hey, Jim, Howard

can't make it tonight.

- Why, he's working overtime again?

- Oh, no, his wife is sick.

He was gonna speak for me tonight.

- Hey, listen, man, you don't wanna know

what's goin' on with me.

- When was the last time

you spoke at a meeting?

- About seven months ago,

why, you don't remember?

- You need it.

- Hey (chuckles).

- Hi, how you doin'?

- Okay, I'm okay, how you doin'?

(exclaims)

(faint speaking)

Doing good.

- Yeah.

- I'm doing good.

- Doing all right, you look great.

- Hey, Marty.

- Hey, Tony, well, it's day 25.

- 26.

- 26, great.

Your sponsor's in the kitchen.

- Okay.

- Get the fuck outta here, fucking way.

Hey.

- How you doing, Jimmy?

- How you doing, good to see you.

Listen, I called you back,

but I got your machine

so, uh, you know, it didn't

pick up or something, you know?

- Yeah, well, I didn't

get the message but--

- No, no, I called you.

- All right, whatever, you--

- How you doin'?

- I'm all right.

Well, I'm upset, I'm

angry, I'm, I'm nervous.

I'm angry, you know--

- Why, the resume again?

- (sighs) The resume, man,

you know, the resume already,

you know, I'm like I go

to the computer place

or the printing whatever

the hell it is, I go there

to pick it up, I hand over the 25 bucks.

- Right.

- Which is ridiculous.

Then I go to a diner to pick

up my 579th cup of coffee

you know, I gotta refuel, gotta refuel,

another cup of coffee, it's 11

o'clock and I'm still tired,

but I'm wired, tired and wired.

So, I leave, I walk two

blocks, look at this hand,

then I look at this hand,

shaking, oops, no resume--

- Hey, Tony, let me ask you--

- Back in the diner--

- Tony.

- What?

- You wanna hear this?

- Yeah, I heard it already.

- You don't care, then I don't care.

- Tony, hey, did you drink today?

- (exhales sharply) No,

but I'll tell ya, I'd love

a nice Mexican with a lime, you know,

I just wanna get wasted, man.

- So what, you're an alcoholic.

- Yeah, definitely.

- Yeah.

So then why don't you go out there and put

some fuckin' ashtrays on

the chairs, all right?

Go on.

- Yeah.

- Hey, Tony, help me out here.

Let's move the chair.

- No, no, no, leave it--

- You're just, you're making it harder.

- Leave it, leave it.

- [Debbie] Hey Marty, what's up?

- [Marty] Debbie, glad you made it.

- Yeah, right.

- Hey.

- Hey there, how you doin', Jasmine?

- (chuckles) I'm doin' good, what is this?

- It's a cotton animal

that I slaughtered and--

- Uh-huh (laughs).

- No, I don't like fur.

I don't wear fur, I'm

against it, I love this lame.

- Child, isn't it nice?

- Jasmine, I'm,

I'm reading the Bible.

- You readin' the Bible?

- Mm-hm.

- Where, where'd you start?

- In the beginning.

- Uh-huh, good.

- Yeah, you think that's good?

(Jasmine laughs)

I'm still smoking though, Marty did you

bust out and buy some hot cocoa--

- [Marty] Put some more in the baskets.

- The little packages, they're very cheap.

- [Marty] Yeah.

- Yeah, Marty, she's readin' the Bible.

- Well, don't tell her how it turns out.

- No, they've known since this morning

that Dr. Rubin was gonna

cover for me, mm-hmm.

Now I'm sure he's there,

yes, just page him.

Yes, I'll be back in an hour, okay.

- Hey, skinny, you spare some

change for alcohol research?

Fine, you can keep it.

(Jasmine laughing)

- Come on (faint speaking).

- All right.

(people chattering)

(laughing)

- [Marty] Carol, can you

read the preamble for us?

Shelley, would you (faint speaking)?

- [Shelley] Oh yes.

(group chattering)

- These always go first, you know?

- Yeah.

- Get a long black coat.

- [Marty] Change your mind yet?

- Marty, no.

- [Marty] Why?

- 'Cause I'm not in the mood, that's why.

- What's eatin' you?

- I just don't feel like

talkin' about it, all right?

- When you're asked to talk,

you say yes, you know that.

- Yeah, there are no rules in AA (scoffs).

- Now come on, help me out.

I need, I need to hear a

real war story tonight.

- Then go fuckin' rent Apocalypse Now,

really, get off my back.

- Shh.

- Come on, Marty.

Jesus Christ, all right, happy?

- Gotcha (faint speaking).

And here to share his experience, strength

and hope with us tonight is Jim.

- Come on, Jim.

(group clapping)

- Hi, I'm Jim, and I'm an alcoholic.

- [Group] Hi Jim.

- And there's no escaping from

that because that's who I am.

Yeah, you know, I could,

I could take a little kid

to the zoo or I could make an egg cream

or I can even ride a

fucking camel if I wanted,

but what I can't do is have a

fucking drink, and that's all

that matters, one drink, just

one, you know what I mean?

I've been a drunk and a

drug addict for 25 years

and I'm sick of it, I really

didn't wanna be up here

tonight, but Marty cornered

me, so what's my story?

I was born an only child to a really,

really sweet angelic Italian woman

and to a poor, fucking

embarrassed-to-be-Jew father,

Saul, or as he preferred to

be called in the neighborhood,

Sal, when I was nine, I made a xylophone

out of Saul's empties.

I took them to school for show and tell,

and that was the very first

time and the only time

that my father beat the shit out of me,

pulled the belt right out of his pants,

had a Joe DiMaggio buckle on it.

Imagine that, Joe D, and he

whipped the shit outta me.

That night, I stole a bottle

from my dad, a whole pint.

(chuckles softly) Scotch.

Man, did I sleep, like a fucking top.

By the time I got outta high

school, I was a daily drinker.

Thank God I landed a job at a steakhouse

in the Theater District, I

could drink around the clock.

I was hiding it, you

know, I'd be pouring it

in a fucking styrofoam cup.

You know, we figure like

no one ever fucking knows.

Trust me, by, you know,

midnight, I was seating

people on the fucking roof.

I started getting up

to about a quart a day

after about three years, a quart a day,

that's all, that ain't

nothin', you know why?

'Cause I wasn't even gettin' drunk anymore

on a quart a day, I mean I

wasn't even gettin' high,

where is that at?

That's when I started doing heroin.

I wasted 10 years of my life,

strung out, broke, alone,

except for my only friend, some

Ninth Avenue hooker, Tanya.

I mean, I knew about AA and all that shit.

I had some little

shit-faced neighbor of mine,

he took me to a meeting, ah, fuck that.

I thought it was for boozers, man.

Holy rollers, Bowery bums,

I didn't need it, fuck that.

Do it on my own, man, kick dope.

Shit, I once went a whole

month, just to prove to myself

that I could do it on my own.

I didn't even smoke a fucking cigarette,

that's how cool I was and

then, I met my goddess.

Oh, man, did we fall in love.

It was the greatest, the greatest feeling.

Gawd, we started going out, couple weeks,

boom, moved in with her.

I mean I was still drinking

and she didn't know

that I was an alcoholic, I mean

she used to drink champagne

with friends and I used

to join her, you know,

it's a celebration, she

didn't know, what did she have

to know, you know what I mean?

I wasn't druggin' or

anything, just drinkin'.

Then I asked her to marry me.

She said yes, wow, oh, Jesus Christ,

I was in heaven.

Till I had one of those disasters.

She took me to meet her

family, all 200 of them.

I couldn't deal with it,

I guess I just freaked.

I go upstairs and I never, ever come back.

I passed out, boy, that pint went fast.

She got me into a cab,

we got back to New York

and she looked at me and she says,

"I love you, I'll marry

you, but you're going

"into rehab or I'm history."

Well, I checked right in.

I had no choice, I loved her.

I was sober, we were like

a regular married couple.

(chuckles softly) We went

on picnics and took rides

on the Staten Island Ferry.

That was almost three years ago.

A lot of you know about

eight months ago, Janie died.

Just like that, brain aneurism.

Oh, man, sometimes I go home now

and I still expect to

see her there, you know?

Gawd, I wish I would've made

love to her a little more.

If only I woulda known.

You know, I guess I'm

just fighting it today.

(exhales sharply) Christ,

you wanna know the truth?

I just wanna get high!

I just don't understand

it anymore, you know?

I just don't get it.

I mean I know that Janie just

had to go, I guess, you know?

But I mean I, I never knew love like that,

before her.

I just don't wanna be with anybody else.

Fuck!

(bangs)

(sighs)

But, hey, you know, the guy

that brought me into this room,

(sighs) he said you know don't think,

don't drink, and go to a meeting.

And that's, that's worked for me

a day at a time.

Thanks.

(group clapping)

- In accordance with

the seventh tradition,

it's time to pass the

baskets, so give what you can.

If you can't, keep coming back.

We need you more than we need the money.

Okay, now, any visitors from--

- Gonna get some air.

- Uh, visitors from out

of town or anybody new

that's been in these rooms

that wants to say hi?

- I knew you had money.

- Hi, my name is Rachel.

I'm an alcoholic and an addict.

- Hi Rachel.

- Welcome.

- Anybody counting days?

- Yeah, my name's Tony

and I'm a drunk and I have

26 days today.

(group applauding)

- Yay.

- [Tony] Thanks.

- Yeah, hi, my name is

Dennis and I'm an alcoholic.

- Hi, Dennis.

- Hi.

And I have 72 days.

(group applauding)

- [Woman] All right (faint speaking).

- Look, Jim, I just want

you to know that I know it,

I know it was hard for you,

but it meant so much to me.

You spoke the truth.

- It was fairy tale.

A big lie.

- Wait a minute.

What can we do, all right,

we got one day at a time,

that's all we do, c'mon.

(group clapping)

(applause drowns out voice)

- Substance abuser.

- Hey, put those cookies

back, shame on you.

(clapping drowns out voice)

- Debbie, alcoholic, I got 90 days.

(group clapping)

Rock, rock!

- [Marty] Anybody else counting days?

- [Charlie] Hi, my name is

Charlie and I'm an alcoholic.

(heels clicking)

(group clapping)

(doors rattling)

- Is anybody else celebrating

an anniversary tonight?

- Hi, my name is Terry

and I'm an alcoholic.

- [Group] Hi Terry.

- (chuckles softly) And I'm

confused about my anniversary

because I'm not sure if

I should count the days

I was tied up in a straitjacket or not.

If not, tonight's a year.

(group clapping)

- I think it counts.

- Joseph, drug addict, alcoholic.

By the grace of God, one day

at a time, I got two years.

- All right.

(group clapping)

(chuckles) All right.

- Now, okay, according

to the 12th Tradition,

anonymity is the chief

spiritual foundation

of our program, ever reminding us

to place principles above personalities.

What you see here and what

you hear here, leave here.

Where the hell is Jim, hey, Jim!

All right, we'll continue the

meeting with a show of hands.

- Hi, I'm Shelley and I'm an alcoholic.

- [Group] Hi Shelley.

- My mother is in town

and she is staying with me

in my bedroom in my bed

with me (chuckles softly).

I'm just a little too old to

be sleeping with my mother.

(grunts softly)

You know, if I could crawl

out of my skin, I would.

I would, I would, I would,

and as it is, I hardly breathe

and I pray to God that

she's not able to hear me

when I'm lying down next to her.

Today, I am running all over the place

'cause (faint speaking) is my

mother's birthday coming up

(exhales sharply) tomorrow

and she doesn't need anything.

She's loaded, loaded.

And you know what I'd like to get her?

I'd like to get her exactly,

I would like to get her

chocolate-covered (blows

raspberry) Valium--

(group chuckles)

Or (scoffs) I know what,

a good hit of Ecstasy, now

that, that, I would like to see

on something like that.

(group chuckling)

I know I'm overreacting, and

she tells me enough times

that I'm overreacting, so

but I'm in the middle of it

right now and I can't

see my way out, you know?

So but I have to remember

that I am a survivor,

that I survived alcoholism

and not to mention

the tender loving care of my mother,

so I can survive this, right?

(chuckles) I'm shaking like crazy.

I think, I think, I think,

I think, I really think

that my, my parents are fine people

and they're just not the way

that I wanted them to be.

Thanks (chuckles).

- Thanks for sharing.

- Thanks.

(smooth jazz instrumental music)

- [Man] I don't know

what's going on with Jim.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's

fine, I'm gonna find him.

I'll find him.

- Okay, well,

let's go back to the show of hands.

(groovy instrumental music)

- Jimmy, Jimmy, it's Tony,

pick it up, pick it up.

You screen your calls,

come on, pick it up.

Okay, listen, do me a favor,

I want you to call 555-1234

when you get in, it's the

phone booth in the hall.

Just wanna know that

you're okay, all right?

(record scratching music)

- (sighs) Hi, my name is Jim

and I want a pint of bourbon.

Fuck, ah (grunts) fuck.

(cars honking in the distance)

(glass thudding)

Man, fuck!

Oh, gah, son of a bitch.

It's the first drink that gets you drunk.

It's the first drink that--

(glass thudding)

Ah.

Oh, fuck you in the ass, you fuck.

- See, two years ago

today, I had my last drink,

my last blackout, and it was the last time

I saw my wife and little boy.

I, uh, was drinking all morning

and I had to go up to to the

Bronx, check my little boy

and drop him off with his grandmother

and then I had some

business to take care of.

Next thing I knew, I, uh,

I woke up in jail in a cell by myself.

I, I, I said oh, shit, when I woke up,

you know, like oh,

fuck, done got picked up

for drunk driving or some shit like that,

so I walked over to where,

um, the guard was standing

and I said, uh, give me a cigarette

and he wouldn't turn around

and he wouldn't say nothing.

So I said, come on, man,

give me a fucking cigarette!

He still wouldn't, uh, turn around,

so I said, okay, man, let me

make my fucking phone call.

Let me call my wife, she

don't know where I'm at.

She's worried, she don't

know where the fuck I am.

Let me call my wife and my little boy.

Then (exhales sharply) this

motherfucker turned around

and he looked at me and he said,

"What the fuck are you talking about!

"Don't you remember what you did?"

I said, remember what?

He said, um,

he said, "Your little

boy was in car with you

"and he went through

the windshield and now,

"he's at the ICU at Bellevue."

Now, I love my little boy.

I used to put him in a stroller,

push him around for people

to see and now, I had his

blood on my hands, you know?

I am feeling fucking crazy tonight.

I am scared!

I'm scared, Jim freaked the fuck outta me.

We used to get fucked up together,

and now, I'm afraid I'm gonna

do something crazy to somebody

or maybe to myself and

I don't wanna do that.

I just don't wanna do that,

goddamn, my little boy.

He was only five years old.

I'm just so mad

at my fucking self 'cause I cannot drink!

Dammit.

Uh, I think I better stop talking now.

I think I better...

it'll be better if I

just listen to y'all talk

because if I hadn't a-been a

fucking blackout alcoholic,

none of this would've happened,

am I gonna pick up again?

Fuck if I know.

I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try

not to, that's all I can say.

Just thanks.

(group muttering)

- Hey, Jimmy.

- How are you?

- Long time.

- Yeah.

- Good to see you.

- Give me a pint, will you?

- You don't need it, Jim.

- Oh, don't tell me

what I fucking need, come on.

- [Harry] Why are you

gonna do this to yourself?

It's been two years.

- Oh, come on.

I don't need a fucking lecture.

- Take your business somewhere

else, I don't need it.

- Spare me the bullshit.

(metallic rattling)

What the fuck is this

all about

- What's the magic word?

- Oh.

Holy mackerel.

- What are you doing, Jim?

- What am I doing?

I'm comparison shopping.

- Well, you're not drinking

(faint speaking)

- I lived, Harry.

I fucking lived, you

wore that vest every day

18 hours behind that fucking

register, man, not me.

You're the sucker.

- You're a lousy

fucking drinker and a

pain-in-the-ass drunk, Jim.

- Oh, yeah?

Holy Christ, you got that

good shit from Passaic,

New Jersey, you son of a bitch,

Harry, you motherfucker you.

- You wanna walk out or

you wanna bounce out, Jim?

- Come on, let's celebrate,

you motherfucker.

Happy new year, Harry,

happy fucking new year.

- All right, come on.

- What?

- His machine (faint speaking) machine.

- Yeah, hello, Jimmy, you boob.

What did you go running outta here for?

Come on, man.

- Yeah, come on, man.

We get, go.

- (chuckles) Go, you--

- People here love you,

man, I mean, but, you know,

I can't handle these whiners

without you, man, so come on.

You gotta call.

- We love you.

- We love you.

- We love you.

- Yeah, so call 555-1234, all right?

Shelley's here.

- Bye-bye, bye-bye.

- Bye-bye.

(exhales sharply) I'm worried, you know?

I'm worried about him.

- It's okay.

- Yeah.

- It's okay, we're okay.

(faint speaking)

- Hi, I'm Francine and I

got a drinking problem.

I'm also a spend-aholic

and I'm fun at parties.

I'm really in a tizzy today.

I was at Strawberries today

twice and I couldn't find

anything to buy, I mean, I'm just looking

for that perfect pair of

boots and the salesgirl

was useless, but I was nice to her

'cause I'm such a people pleaser.

I mean, I did, I wanted to yell at her,

but I'm trying to keep

the focus on myself.

I mean, this is a selfish

program, and through this program,

I've gotten to know me

and frankly, I love her.

You know, it feels really

good to be here tonight.

It feels like a party actually,

I mean, since I've been

coming to AA, I haven't

been to any parties.

I haven't needed to,

I mean all you people,

you're like my entertainment committee.

I mean I hardly even watch

TV anymore, I used to.

I used to tape all of my

soap operas 'cause I'm such

like a drama queen, but

I don't need to anymore

because of all the drama

that goes on in this room.

Last week, I was at a

meeting and I saw, you know,

what's that George guy,

that hunk who plays

that brain surgeon guy

on General Hospital?

I mean in the flesh, right?

And the way Jimmy is

struggling with a tragedy

in his life, it's just

horrible, it almost,

it's like too much for me

sometimes, like I can't bear it

'cause like I never drank like that.

I mean I was like, what

do you call where I was

a social imbiber, that's what I was.

Hey, but since I've been

coming to these rooms,

I haven't touched one drop and

I've got a couple of months.

I love listening to all your stories.

They're really, they're so sweet.

I wasn't that bad of an alcoholic.

Actually, to tell you the

truth, sometimes, I think

I'm not really an alcoholic

at all, I was just born,

you know, thirsty, you know what I mean?

Like thirsty.

(group laughing)

(steps clicking)

(cars whooshing)

(sighs)

(train rattling)

- Right now,

I'm living with my mother.

My little brother Malik,

he's 16, and my daughter,

she's four and we're one

on top of each other.

It's a railroad flat and the

bathroom is in the hallway.

And I'm out of the house

most of time at least.

I go to school at night and I try to work

at Macy's as much as I can

and I'm even taking singing lessons.

(chuckles softly) It's

something I always wanted to do.

But I, I, I came home

early last night though,

and when I went into the bathroom,

I saw my little brother Malik

sitting on the toilet bowl

and he had his belt tied around his arm

and he was shooting up.

He's using my mother's

needles, she's a diabetic

so she uses the needles for

insulin and it threw me back,

you know, 'cause I used to

steal her needles too (scoffs)

when I was using, she knew,

but what she gonna do?

She told me she loved me

and she's gonna find out

about Malik, you know,

it's just a matter of time.

It's gonna break her heart,

you know, she doesn't need

this kind of problem, but so I slapped him

and we had a fight and he hasn't

been home since last night.

My mother's mad at me.

I don't know what I would say to him,

you know, when I see him.

Well, what hurts is

that I feel responsible

because I remember when he was a kid,

he, uh, he busted me in the

same situation in the bathroom,

you know, he saw me, threatened to tell

but he didn't because he said

he loved me (chuckles softly).

He thought his big sister was cool.

Well, his big sister is not cool

because his big sister is HIV positive.

He knows, you know, I want him to stop,

but he won't listen to me 'cause I'm, I'm,

no example to listen to, you know.

I'm not afraid of dying, you know.

I'm afraid of getting sick

'cause I know what that's like.

I seen some of my friends go through that

and I don't wanna go

through that, you know?

I want the cycle to end here, you know?

I want it to end with me.

I don't know how I got it,

you know, it could've been

through sex, it could've been

through needles, who knows?

It doesn't matter, you know, all I know

is I keep thinking, you

know, why not have a drink

when you got AIDS

(chuckles) right, you know?

But that's just my

alcoholism talking, you know,

looking for any excuse to

have a drink, you know?

But the fact is I'm gonna die,

you know, so is everybody.

(chuckles softly)

(sniffles) I feel good,

you know, right now.

(sniffles) And I wanna

watch my little girl

grow up, and drinking's not

gonna cure me, you know?

It's only gonna (sniffles)

make me die sooner,

so I mean, you know, I

don't have time, you know,

but, but (sniffles) you know, I do know

that I wanna die sober,

that's it (chuckles softly).

(thudding)

- Tanya, oh, Tanya.

Come on, you know who this is.

It's your knight and shining vodka, baby.

Tanya, come on, it's Jim, let me in.

I'm in love with you again,

Tanya, come on, come on out.

I'm having a party, Tanya, come on.

Come on, I meant to call

you, but I lost your hallway,

Tanya, honey, that's a joke, remember me?

Oh, Tanya, Tanya (faint speaking).

(answering machine beeping)

- [Tony] Jimmy, Jimmy,

it's Tony, pick it up.

Come on, pick it up, hey, listen.

Do me a favor, want you to call 555-1234

when you get in, it's the

phone booth in the hall.

Just wanna know that

you're okay, all right?

Okay, gave us a little surprise

there (faint speaking).

(answering machine beeping)

(faint speaking)

- [Shelley] You boob what did

you go running outta here for?

- Come on, man, go.

- Go.

- [Tony] People here love you,

man, I mean, but you know,

I can't handle these whiners

without you, man, so come on.

You gotta call.

- We love you.

- We love you.

- Love you.

Love you.

- Yeah, so call 555-1234,

all right, Shelley's here.

- Bye-bye, bye-bye.

- [Tony] Bye-bye.

(answering machine beeps)

(gulps)

(sighs)

- Oh, shit.

(glass rattles)

(exhales sharply)

- You wanna talk about bad blackouts?

I was married in one.

(woman laughs)

I was married in a blackout, I'm serious.

I was 19 years old, I was

married for six weeks, yeah.

I was married to this guy named Wild Bob.

That was his full name,

Wild Bob, so I guess

I was Mrs. Wild Bob, hi

everyone, welcome to my life.

(chuckles) Do you, Debbie, take Wild Bob

to be your lawfully wedded husband, I do.

Gawd, he was a rock musician

like Gregg Allman, now what could I do?

I'm a sucker for musicians,

yeah, so I've been in

and out of these rooms about

four or five times now.

I'd say it took me 2 1/2 years

to get 90 days of sobriety.

That's a lot of drinking.

I don't know, I think I was pissed off

that I didn't grow up

in the '60s and partied

with Janis Joplin, you know what I mean?

And everyone had that long

hair and the music was great,

peace, love, the clothes, you know?

You know what pisses

me, hi, hi, how are you?

Good, great, you're late,

you know, I wanted to speak

about this two weeks ago

and no one called on me

and now, whatever, so what was I saying?

I think what I was doing, I

was trying to relive the '60s

in the '80s and it just didn't

work out for me, you know?

I got stuck somewhere

in the middle, but gawd,

I wanted to be Janis

Joplin so bad, so bad, man.

She was great, she was so great, gawd.

She was incredible, but

whatever, whatever I did, I did,

you know, I had a good time

doing it and now, it's over.

Oh my god (chuckles) I'm

so sad, no I'm strange.

I'm a strange bird, I know, I'm weird.

I've started doing physical

things to relieve the stress.

I've gotten into sports

now, watching them.

I love NFL football, I love NFL football.

Jerry Rice of the 49ers, he is so great.

He is so great, and Barry

Sanders, I love him.

Gawd, he's great, I love watching football

and I've become political for

the first time in my life.

I went to the march in

Washington, the pro-choice march.

It was exhilarating, Helen

Reddy sang I Am Woman.

I freaked, I freaked, it was incredible.

I swear, I'm such a dyke

sometimes, I'm such a dyke.

You know, I mean I'm

not attracted to women,

but I feel like politically

that I could be a lesbian,

you know, that whatever, but

yeah, the march was great.

The march was really great, I think it was

like the closest thing that I ever got

to living in the '60s, you know?

And I met some people in these rooms

who were active drinkers

and users in the '60s

and they said that all that peace and love

that they were looking

for and, and, whatever,

hoping to find, that they

found in these rooms.

I think I know what they mean, you know,

I see what they mean, I mean I can,

I could be the Janis Joplin

of the Holiday Inn circuit if I want to.

If I want to, I'll just be

her clean and sober, you know?

♪ When you pass by, my

pulse starts beating fast ♪

♪ My love's so strong that

it just lasts and lasts ♪

(music drowns out voice)

♪ I can't help myself for the way I feel ♪

♪ Help myself for my love is real ♪

- Oh, dangerous.

♪ Help myself for the way ♪

♪ I feel about you ♪

- Mm.

♪ I must be mad ♪

♪ I must be mad ♪

♪ I must be mad ♪

- Janie.

♪ I must be mad, oh, yeah ♪

(energetic electric guitar rock music)

♪ Yeah, oh ♪

(exhales sharply)

(thuds)

- My son got, um, got

caught yesterday walking out

of a record store with

seven CDs in his backpack

and Steven's 12 now and he

has a record of misdemeanors.

His therapist, who's known

him since he was six,

and whose children I think

I've put through school

several times (chuckles)

thinks that maybe he should

go live with his father.

I'm scared out of my mind

that if Steven moves out that I'll drink.

When I got sober, I made

a secret vow to myself.

I promised myself that I would stay sober

as long as Steven was there and I did.

One day at a time, I did, you know?

But there's a wall calendar

(chuckles) in my head

with, um, very big red letters, it says:

when he leaves, you can drink.

You know, I used my, I

used my boy, I used him

to (chuckles) hang on to

my husband, I used him

to stay sane when I was I was drinking.

I used him to get sober and stay sober.

What about him?

You know (scoffs) he was life to me.

And I'd come home and I'd

feel his warmth and I,

it'd take away some of the

emptiness that I felt (sighs)

(chuckles) I could read

him a nursery rhyme

or I could cuddle with him, you know.

The trouble was that I was drunk,

you know, four-year-old

boy cuddling every night

with a drunken mother.

I remember him sitting

at the kitchen table,

you know, me coming

in, guzzling big bottle

and his face,

you know, his face (chuckles

softly) looking at me,

I knew it wasn't right.

Even after all this

time, I find it so hard,

so hard to accept this.

I mean why, why do I have to be powerless.

Why do I have to?

(sighs) Why do I got to go

to AA to tell me how to be

with my son, you know, it's

an instinct for Christ's sake!

All I wanna do is love my son.

(sniffles)

They said I have to walk

through the fear, innit?

Do the thing you fear

and dread to do the most,

my sponsor says.

I'm a mother.

I'm a sober mother,

and I have to do what's right for my son.

How can I be of service to him?

I think I'll ask him what he wants to do.

What a concept (chuckles softly).

If it would be better for him,

I'm willing to let him go.

♪ It doesn't strain my ear ♪

- I didn't think you were gonna come over.

(frenetic electric guitar music)

- A long time.

- Well, I've been out of it.

- Hi, uh, I am a...

my, my name is Kathy and I am a...

this is my first time, I'm,

I don't, I don't know what to do, um.

I, I don't know, uh,

I don't wanna talk,

really, okay?

Sorry.

- Hi, I'm Carol, I'm an alcoholic.

- [Group] Hi Carol.

♪ Baby if you'll pardon me ♪

♪ I just can't relax ♪

♪ When you're talking to me ♪

♪ I keep turnin' the table ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm so unstable-- ♪

- (mumbles) program (scoffs)

♪ When you talk to me ♪

- Yeah, fuck the program, man.

We just need to loosen up.

♪ And no meaning can be had ♪

♪ When you talk to me ♪

- We're just wasting love.

♪ Please try to make yourself clear ♪

♪ So when you talk to me ♪

- You're so fucking (mumbles)

- It does feel good.

♪ When you talk to me ♪

♪ Please try to make yourself-- ♪

- I get too thin?

- No.

Looks like you ate a meal this year.

- [Tanya] My ass get too skinny?

- No, your ask looks perfect.

- My breasts.

- Oh, Christ.

- They get too small?

- No.

- You wanna put your mouth.

- [Jim] Please, please.

♪ Please try to make yourself-- ♪

- You sure, you sure?

- Please.

Yeah, yeah.

♪ So when you talk to me ♪

♪ It doesn't strain my ear ♪

(Jim moaning)

- It's (mumbles) it's (mumbles).

- Baby, feel me, feel me.

- Where's your shit?

- I'm getting it, baby.

- Where's your shit?

- I called.

It's coming.

- Who did you call?

- I called fucking Felix.

- The asshole in the park?

- No good, I need it, I really need it.

You really gotta get it

for me, you've gotta get it

for me, please, please.

Jimmy, please, I really need it, no!

- Talking about.

- (mumbles) please.

- I called him, baby.

♪ Talk to me ♪

- Give me some shit,

please, please, I need it.

- Just fucking kiss me.

♪ Please try to make yourself clear ♪

- (mumbles) please, please, no!

(music drowns out voice)

- He's calling me.

- I called everybody.

You gotta do it for me.

- Calling me, what are you doing?

I called, come back here.

(Tanya mumbling)

- [Group] Hi Rachel.

- I'm working 18 hours a day.

Most nights, I just sleep

on the sofa in my office,

but, um, last night,

I, I wanted to go home

and um, so I left the

hospital about 2:00 a.m.

And I walked across the

parking lot to my car

and um, I got in the car and

um, the next thing I know,

a policeman is rapping

on the window saying,

"Let me see your license, let

me see your registration, what

"are you doing in the parking

lot at 4:30 in the morning?"

I was freezing cold, I

just sort of felt numb

and I couldn't think and I couldn't talk

and uh, flashlight, you know,

searching the car and looking

at me and finally, he noticed

the sticker on my windshield, he said,

"Are you a doctor at this hospital?"

(chuckles) I said, yep, that's it,

that's what I'm doing here, I said, yeah,

that I was a doctor at this hospital.

I've been working long hours

and I fallen asleep in the car.

He walked me back to the hospital

and then gave me a long

lecture on the danger

of parking lots and get some coffee

and get some sleep, so I

was sitting in my office

this morning and I was thinking a lot

about the last time I passed out in a car

and I thought of this man here, Joseph,

because I had two kids in the back.

I wasn't driving, I just passed out

but the windows were rolled

up and the car was locked

and the kids were screaming

and it was sweltering hot

and the people who heard

the kids couldn't wake me up

and the police woke me up that time too.

I, uh, turned myself into

the hospital and I told them

that I had been stealing

Demirel from my patients

for about two years and I had always been

a big scotch drinker.

In the hospital, put me

in detox and they put me

in rehab and they put

me in a halfway house

with other doctors like me

and then they took me back.

They put me on probation

but they took me back

to the hospital and I worked,

I worked, I worked, I worked.

I stayed straight, stayed clean,

I stayed sober and I worked.

Now, I was thinking that I lost

my children and I lost my husband,

I lost my home (exhales sharply)

but I've always had my work.

It's never let me down, but this morning,

I was thinking about the similarity

between what my life is now

as a well-respected doctor

and what my life was then and it came

sort of clear to me that

I have isolated myself,

um, in this crowd of doctors

and crowd of patients

who were always needing me (sighs)

that I've isolated myself the same way

as I used to do when I was

taking Demirel and scotch

and then I thought to myself,

you know, why would I do this?

Why would I do this?

And then I thought to myself,

well, I think the reason

is because I have not done the work of AA.

I have not done the thing of looking

at how I blew up my life.

And um, I guess that's why I'm here

because I need help to get back

to my sponsor and I need

help to get back home

to my home group and I

need to do the real work,

the real work, which I had never done.

Thank you, that's my purse.

(chuckles) Those are my

cigarettes, thank you.

Thank you.

♪ Well, here in my heart,

there's a story untold ♪

♪ Of a girl I wanted for my own-- ♪

- Excuse me, I reserved

this three years ago.

- Yeah, holy shit, man

(chuckles) how you been?

I thought you were dead.

- I was dead, you didn't hear?

Yeah, I was dead and I

requested I be reincarnated

and they fucked up because they

sent me back as myself, man.

(laughs loudly)

What happened to this, where the fuck

is Jack Dempsey's picture,

man, what do they do here?

- New management.

- Oh, new management.

And we are powerless over it,

makes our lives unmanageable.

- What kind of shit is that, man?

(laughs)

- Barkeep!

Barkeep!

Hey, I'm looking for the barkeep.

Who are you?

- My name's Rich.

- That's nice, where's the bartender?

(laughs)

No really.

Where's the fucking bartender?

You look like a fucking

clothes designer, man.

What is this shit, no,

really, who are you?

Who is he?

- This is Jim.

- Hey, Jim.

- What are you, a matchmaker?

What is your name?

- My name's Rich.

- No, really, where's Anthony?

- I bought him out six months ago.

I take he opened a strip

club out in Jersey.

- Oh, but he's happy, though, huh?

(laughs)

Okay, that's good.

Well, listen, I really have to make sure

that you're an experienced

mixologist, my friend.

- Drinking since I was 12.

- You have?

Good for you, okay, 'cause

I need a proficient,

proficient booze mechanic, okay?

Are you available for that job?

(laughing)

Set him up.

Doubles for everybody,

okay, I'll have a whiskey

and I'll have a beer, in

fact, how does that sound?

- That'd be great.

- Whoo.

Oh, gawd, look, they have charities now.

Does Mother Teresa hang here too?

I knew she drank.

(chuckles softly)

Thank you, okay, here is to everyone

and fuck everything.

- No good (laughs).

- I, um, feel like I should say

something, I (clears throat)

my name is Louis Tingley and I'm not,

I don't, I think I'm an alcoholic.

I'm, I'm stunned, actually, by this.

I came to this church for a choir practice

and when I came, I guess I

was a bit fuzzy on the dates.

No one was there, so it was

only second, second time,

so my eyesight isn't the

greatest and I wandered downhill

looking for the men's

room and well, I thought

all of you were the choir taking

a break at first, you see,

and I got drawn into the stories.

I have to say, I've never, they're so real

and honest, they're, they're,

I mean nothing compares

to it on television or in most movies.

I got pulled in and I

thought, my god, I had no idea

that the choir had so many problems.

(group chuckles)

And then the more I listened

to your stories, the more I realize

that, uh, well, I'm really not a drunk.

I'm not a sober either, I'm,

I'm, I guess I'm a fuzzy.

That's what I'd call

it, I drink to get fuzzy

and I like getting fuzzy every day.

It's not that I don't

don't know what sober is.

I mean I come from New England,

I come from a long line

of sober people, when

they're drunk, they're sober.

Most of them are a

little drunk every night

after five, but I have to say, um,

I will be honest, I

admit it, I'm a hophead.

I like beer, sometimes boilermakers,

you know, one or two shots

Irish, not on the side,

but I like to drop the

shot right into the mug

and watch it boil and foam up.

And if there's a higher

power, I can't believe

that higher power didn't

create barley and hops

and allow them to sit there and ferment

and God created beer, but not light beer.

(group laughs)

It's the devil's work or man's work.

Actually, I grew up with the

Bible, you wouldn't believe it.

My mother read the Bible

to me and I like that.

I remember that stuff in the Bible.

There is a season for

everything under heaven

and a time and I think

there's a time for drinking,

you know, every day between

five and 10:00 or six and 11:00,

but I never drink alone,

no, I drink at the,

around the corner at the Pegasus.

They have, gawd, I think they

have seven draft beers there,

including the queen of

beers, the Guinness Stout,

but you see, it's so

nice to have an activity

to keep me away, to celebrate, like I,

that's part of why I'm staying

here, why I wanted to go

to choir practice, I

needed something, you know,

like in the Bible or in

the beer ads on television,

we've had a great ballgame,

now let's have a cold one to celebrate.

A cold one is a euphemism, I guess.

I don't imagine having one beer.

I can't imagine anyone

just drinking one beer

if it was any good, what am I saying?

Everyone's quiet, I'm

thrown back on myself.

Perhaps I'm saying that I need

like an objective constraint

outside of myself to

stop me from, you know,

like in the case of the

choir, a singing super ego

to stop me from rushing off to the bar

and then I'll have something to celebrate.

I, I, I, what I'm saying, I think,

is that I prefer your

narratives to their hymns.

I'd like to come here every

night and listen to stories

and tell stories, I really

never talked like this before.

You see, what I wanted to

ask if I could stay on here

is, well, I know you're

supposed to be special

and I do have that feeling, I wanted to be

a nondrinking drinker, I'm

not drinking now, you see.

I don't have any, it's,

I don't, it's not on me,

but I will drink, I will, after I leave

this special occasion, I will go

onto the next special

occasion around the corner,

the Pegasus, and watch

Henry pour a slow draft

of Double Diamond and watch

its amber head foam up

and lift it to my lips and

feel its foam on my mustache

and slide down like liquid bread

and then to bed and...

but thank you for letting me talk.

I'm, I didn't,

if there's a donation plate that I missed,

I'll give something

before I go out the door.

♪ Here's a heart for you ♪

- Ready for this shit?

(paper rustling)

This fucking bill, okay, it

ain't the fucking Sox, man.

Look at this, transfer of remains.

Transfer of remains, 500 fucking dollars.

If I knew it was 500 fucking dollars,

I would've carried her my

fucking self, man, how dare they?

How fucking dare they,

and now they're sending

some fucking jackass collection

agency after me, fuck them!

Fuck them in the ass, I

ain't fucking paying it.

And I'm an alcoholic, you know?

- Really?

- You know, I went

to that AA shit and those

fucking zombie asshole

motherfuckers, I mean, it's unbelievable.

You can't drink anymore

after you go to that shit.

I mean I wanna fucking

get loaded and I can't.

It's driving me fucking nuts.

I never used to count my fucking drinks

before I went to those fucking places.

I mean you go in these fucking meetings

and there's like, I don't

know, 100 fucking people there

and all they talk about is fucking booze.

That's all they fucking talk

about, drinking and drinking,

but they don't fucking drink.

What the fuck is that all about?

It's like a bad fucking Polish joke.

Well, you walk into a bar, you know,

don't set 'em up, Joe, oh, fuck that shit.

I am getting loaded tonight,

how are you (faint speaking)?

- I gotta get going.

- You got kind eyes, man, you know?

I see in, in, in your

face and in your smile,

You're, you're a good

guy, you're a good guy.

- I'm late.

- You're what?

- Late.

- What the fuck does,

don't you understand?

♪ To let you go ♪

Don't you understand what I'm saying?

I got sober and my wife fucking died.

(cheerful doowop music)

- Pretty awful.

- Oh, it's pretty awful, I'd

say it's pretty fucking awful.

Hey, who's playing the fucking jukebox?

Pretty fucking awful,

I mean am I laughing?

- No.

- I'm not laughing.

I'm not even fucking smiling.

- I know, I know.

- People drink

and they fucking having a good time

like those fucking assholes over there,

I mean they have a good

time, party, get down.

- Listen, I gotta go.

- Why the fuck did she have

to die, you know what I mean

why her, I mean why not that

fat fuck over there, huh?

- Who are you calling fat fuck?

- Oh, eat my ass.

- I really think,

I gotta go.

- Don't you understand?

Really, don't you

understand what I'm saying?

- Please, I gotta go, please.

- How about you?

♪ I love, love you so ♪

(vocalizing)

- Do any of you ever feel

like you'd rather be dead

than be sober (chuckles softly)

I mean it's just a glass

with liquid in it, right,

so why can't I control it?

Why does it have to be so good?

You know, but it's okay

because, um, see, somewhere

in the back of my head, I think, someday,

I am gonna be able to control it.

Someday, I'm gonna be

able to have a few drinks

and I'm gonna be able

to walk away from it.

And yeah, yeah, I know that's

the wrong way to think.

I know I'm just at the

beginning of something, okay?

I know that, but you know,

I have to sit here and I have

to listen to all you guys

talk about how grateful you are,

and it, it, it makes me just, you know,

pray for the day when I can sit here

and I can be grateful too,

you know, when I can be

just right where, where,

um, where you are.

I don't feel any better today

than I did the first day

I walked in here, like right

now, more than anything

in the world, all I really

wanna do is I wanna drink.

I just, I wanna drink, I

wanna drink, I wanna drink

and then I wanna drink some more.

And, yeah, you know, I know that it's, uh,

it's my choice, but it's not really

because (scoffs) I need it.

I mean me sitting here right

now is really just a bunch

of horse shit 'cause (scoffs)

I picked up this morning.

I drank, I had a shot, I smoked a joint.

I had to, I had to get

through it, you know?

And you know what, I

hate to tell you this,

but it helped me, you

know, I only had one.

I didn't black out, but I

needed that one to just get me

through it, you know, to calm me down.

And I don't think

anybody can really understand me for that.

See, uh, I was gonna go out

and I was gonna get drunk

tonight but, you know, I had

this plan, but for some reason,

I came here and I guess I'm here

because I really want somebody to stop me

because I just can't do it.

(chuckles softly) You know what?

You know, don't fucking

stare at me like that,

all right, because I do not need

your goddamn pity.

(group muttering)

(smooth jazz piano music)

- Hello.

You know where Felix is?

Did you see, you know who Felix is?

Did you see Felix?

(mumbles)

Oh, all right.

- [Man] Yeah, what's up, homes?

- You see Felix?

- Felix who?

- [Jim] You don't know who Felix is?

- I said Felix who, right,

I say, home, you sure

I can't help you out

with (faint speaking)?

You sure?

- Excuse me, princess, oh,

Jesus fuck, oh, honey pie.

- Yeah, baby.

- You know where Felix is?

- Yeah, Felix got busted last

week, he's in Rikers now.

- Oh.

- Unfortunately.

- He's in Rikers?

- Yeah.

- Oh, fuck!

(exhales sharply)

(door creaking)

- [Woman] Before I came to

these rooms, I was afraid

(faint speaking) I was

afraid of my own shadow.

- You okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.

I feel like a jerk (scoffs)

I'm sorry I acted out.

- You know, you said you

wanted us to stop you.

We can't stop you.

- Yeah, I know.

- We can help you, but we can't stop you.

Been making meetings?

- Yeah.

- (chuckles softly) Got a sponsor?

- Yeah, I have a sponsor, I have an idiot

for a sponsor, I have myself.

- You can't sponsor

yourself, that's my number.

Instead of picking up a

drink, pick up the phone

and call me.

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

- Thanks.

Look at you, you're so together,

you're so fucking perfect.

- I'm just a garden-variety drunk

and in one day, same as you.

- Oh gawd (chuckles) look

at me, I look like shit.

- No, you (chuckles) you look fine.

I mean, listen, mirrors,

you can't trust this mirror

and these lights (laughs) no,

make everybody look horrible.

Squint, you look beautiful,

try it, come on, squint.

Say, I look fabulous.

- I look fabulous.

- You look fabulous.

- You look fabulous.

- We look fabulous.

(cars whooshing)

(steps crunching)

(dogs barking in distance)

(disjointed piano music)

- Do I put money in for this or?

- No, no, no, no, this is free.

- Oh.

- Yeah, free.

- You know, actually not an alcoholic.

- Yeah, you said that.

- So I don't know if I--

- Would you like some?

- It's all right to--

- Yeah.

'Cause it's just tea.

- Oh, of course.

(Jasmine laughing)

Well, I'll be having beer afterwards--

- Right.

- As I said at the meeting.

- So you want it or not?

- What?

- The tea.

- Oh, yeah.

- Okay.

- Make it herbal, it's fine.

- All right, now--

- Something different.

I haven't had that since I was a hippie.

I like it at night though 'cause

I don't like to get wired.

That's--

- Here.

- Oh, thank you.

- Keep coming back, okay?

- For tea? (chuckles)

- At meetings.

- Oh, oh, meeting, yeah.

- I'd like to thank you

all for being here tonight

because I needed you,

okay, I'd like to end

the meeting with, yes?

- Hi, uh, my name is Kathy

and I'm an alcoholic.

- [Group] Hi Kathy.

- I came here tonight because, um,

not knowing if I was, um, you

know, an alcoholic and stuff

but, uh, after listening to all of you,

I'm pretty sure that I am

or, uh, I think we've done

a hell of a lot of the same things,

like blackouts and

everything and, um, or felt

a lot of the same way or something.

We, um, we definitely drink a lot.

I, uh, I came here tonight because, um,

I didn't know where else to go.

I don't really have

friends because I drink.

I don't, I don't have

a home because I drink.

I, uh, I live in a

women's shelter and, uh,

and I'm pregnant and I don't

know what I'm going to do,

but I know that, um, that

I need to stop drinking

and I wanna be able to keep the baby

because I have so much inside me, I just,

I just need someone to give

it to, that's why I'm here.

The father, he left.

I woke up and he was gone, that hurts.

I was sleeping in a car, he drinks.

I was, um, I was sleeping in doorways

and I don't want my baby like

that but it's like I keep

drinking with any money that I get,

I can help it and I need help.

I'm scared.

But um, who knows, I mean I'm here tonight

and, um, I don't really

like to talk because I know

that I don't talk right.

I'm done.

- Kathy, all you have to have to come here

is a desire to stop drinking

and you've got that, okay?

I don't know what's gonna happen to me.

This meeting hasn't

given me all the answers,

but I know when I'm here, I won't drink,

Okay, all right, let's end

the meeting with a moment

of silence for those

still sick and suffering,

both outside and the other rooms,

followed by the Serenity Prayer.

- God.

- God.

- [Group] God, grant me

the serenity to accept

the things I cannot change,

the courage to change

the things I can and the

wisdom to know the difference.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it,

so work it, you're worth it.

(group clapping)

- You wanna get a coffee?

- Yeah, a coffee sounds good.

- You wanna hit the diner?

- Yeah (faint speaking).

- [Woman] Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine?

- Yeah?

- I'll walk (faint speaking).

- [Jasmine] Oh, okay, okay.

(group chattering)

- [Man] Yeah, yeah, I (faint speaking).

- [Man] You know, why don't you

stop fucking lying about it?

(group murmuring)

♪ The way you make love all day, yeah ♪

♪ Bo, bo, bo ♪

♪ Bohemian Daddy ♪

♪ Oh, you all in my dream ♪

♪ You've got me out, oh, love, love me ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪

(groovy electric guitar music)

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Fuck one day at a time.

It's one night at a fucking time.

Happy, joyous and free,

there you are.

♪ Down where we met ♪

♪ And where you make love ♪

- Hey Ricky.

♪ Bohemian daddy, oh, I love you so ♪

- Some of the guys told me about

what happened to your wife.

Sorry, man.

♪ Oh, I love you so ♪

♪ Oh, I love you so ♪

- How long ago did she, uh, die?

- (mumbles) lie anymore.

- Sorry (chuckles softly).

- I couldn't live the lie anymore.

- What lie is that?

- The fairy tale.

I'm a hero.

I stopped drinking and I become,

oh, I become the ideal

fucking husband for two years

and my beautiful darling Janie, I am,

like Father Knows Best, man,

I mean I'm talking breakfast

in bed, kisses on the Staten Island Ferry.

Oh, I did it all, you know?

(chuckles softly) And

then the little lady dies.

Poor Jimmy Epstein.

Pity the poor sober martyr.

Huh, huh?

That's what I told myself.

It is a lie.

I mean I didn't drink, but I

didn't know who the fuck I was.

I didn't know who the fuck she was.

I didn't even know what to say to her.

I mean I had to just, I was

just sorta hanging around.

I was just staring at her with

this blank fucking expression

All I was thinking about was

drinking (chuckles softly).

- That can't be true, man,

I mean you turned your life

around, she must've been proud of you.

- Oh, don't tell me what

was true, what was true.

It was too goddamn late, I

mean I turned into a ghost,

come on, I mean I

might've been sober, okay,

but I tell you something, I was sober,

but we had two of the most painful,

empty slow years anyone could ever have.

We never connected

and that was so fucking true

that you couldn't even say it.

We were a hoax.

I couldn't even help her

'cause I didn't even know

who I was, I got lost somewhere.

And you know what?

I don't even care.

- Richard, honey, you

can't get too involved.

People need you.

- Hang tight, man, I'll be right back.

- [Chaka] He's cute but he's a mess.

- [Rich] Yeah, right, there's

nobody else to talk to.

♪ Sweeter than ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ The honey dew ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ Sweeter than sugar ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ From candy too ♪

♪ Oh, this is my love ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ This is my love ♪

♪ This is my love, this

is my love (vocalizing) ♪

♪ Oh, always beside me ♪

♪ Run, run, run ♪

- Hey, Rich, fucking guy is

shooting heroin in your bar.

- Fucking (faint speaking)

I'll deal, I'll deal with--

- All right.

- Hey, Jimmy, Jimmy,

come on, man, this is

no fucking answer, okay?

Come on, hey, come on.

(clamoring)

Sit down, hey, sit the

fuck down, you wanna help?

Clean this shit up, come on.

- Oh (mumbles) come on, man.

- Jimmy, let's go.

Let's talk a walk.

- Keep that fuck away from me.

(clattering)

Oh, shit.

♪ Pain in my heart ♪

♪ All my dreams are forsaken ♪

♪ Oh, my, baby (muffled singing) ♪

(metallic rattling)

(vehicles revving)

(vehicles whooshing)

- [Toby] Hi, I'm Toby.

I'm a drunk, I got three days now.

(group clapping)

- Hi, I'm Freddy, I'm an alcoholic.

By the grace of God, one day at a time,

I'll have six months tomorrow.

- All right.

(group clapping)

- Hi, my name is Lucy, I'm cross addicted

and it's seven days.

(group clapping)

- My name is Tom, I'm an

alcoholic and a pothead

and I have 10 days back.

(group clapping)

- Jim.

I'm an alcoholic.

I drank last night.

I'm back where I started again.

In 24 hours, I'll have one day.

(smooth jazz music)