Drowning (2019) - full transcript

A mother deals with the grief associated with her son going off to war.

(music plays)

(bubbling sound)

(techo music plays)

(knocking on door)

- What's the safe word?

- There is no safe word.

We don't do that anymore.

- What's the safe word?

- We don't do that anymore.

- You don't get

to change your mind.

- Pretending that this

is happening to someone else

keeps me strong.

(knocks on door)

Pretending keeps me alive,

but I'm tired of pretending.

Nothing will change

until you change it.

I'll just keep pretending

I'm strong

and one day I'll have the

strength to go home.

(music continues)

- Where is she?

- I don't know.

And I do a lot better when

you're sucking dicks

for a living like

the rest of us.

- We all do what we have to do.

- You know what?

I'll just leave.

- How could you let her leave?

- It's what she does.

She leaves.

- You should've stopped her.

- Fuck you, Marcus.

(water runs)

- Wanna go back

on the drugs, Priya?

(brakes squeak)

- Hi there, can I help you?

- I'm here to see Priya.

- Whatever Priya does for you,

I can do.

- I'm here to see Priya.

- Follow me.

(music plays)

- Are you crazy?

Why did you come back?

- Where is Marcus?

- He's picking up

another shipment,

which means at

least for tonight,

you're one lucky little bitch.

- How many in this shipment?

- He said 20.

I don't know where

I'm gonna put them.

I'd never come back.

- You have to leave

to come back.

- Get the fuck out!

- I feel at peace at

the gun range.

I can see the future.

I understand what to do.

Pretend so loud everyone else

can feel your thoughts,

each breath leading to the next.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

Every shot you fire leads

you closer to the target.

Every dream becomes real.

Keep pretending until it's real.

(shower runs)

(alarm blares)

- When I started here,

I didn't know what to do,

but I kept at it.

Will you at least try?

This is placement

number two for you.

There is no third placement.

You have to keep this job

or it's back to counseling.

No matter what happens,

don't hit anyone,

just walk away.

- Thank you.

(knocking door)

(knocking door)

Bathroom's to the right.

Take a shower and then

walk down the hallway

to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

- Your desk is over here.

I'll log you in and then

you can get started.

- There seems to be a difference

between what you hear

and what people say.

- You've said that before.

- Not that I know of.

We talked last week

about projecting anger

onto simple situations.

- You weren't there.

- You can just copy and paste

depending on whether

there's a formula or not.

Look, let me show you

a few tricks

and then I can disappear

for about an hour

and I'll pop in and check on you

after lunch, OK?

- Thanks.

- When I'm filling these out

I copy paste my face off.

Most products are 29.99.

So, just copy paste and then

correct as you go.

See?

All done.

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

(intense music plays)

- I just saw myself bashing

her head against the desk.

- The police report said that

you used the stapler.

Doesn't say you banged her head

against the desk.

- There's a difference between

what I see myself doing

and what I do.

- Well, can you see that

she was just training you

and not trying to judge you

or make fun of you?

- You actually think there's

a difference?

- Please, tell me about the

stapler.

- It's all on the report.

- Hi, Anna, how was your lunch?

If you skipped, you should

probably take one now.

I checked the files

you uploaded earlier

and the totals are a bit off.

Can I help you figure that out?

(screams)

(staples click)

- Did you black out?

Did you know what was happening?

There were 22 staples removed

from that girl's head.

- She just wouldn't

leave me alone.

- Do you think that's the best

idea, to leave you alone?

You will have to face

those assault charges

and there is no way of

getting out of group therapy.

Lucky for you, your mother

posted your bail.

- Fuck.

- I understand it's

been some time.

- How did she even find me?

- Does it matter?

- Yes.

- Those sessions start in a week

and I expect to see you again

in two days.

- I can take you home now.

I'll just go get the car

and you can meet me out front.

(soft music plays)

(car engine turns)

- Please stop, just stop.

Are you done now? Fuck.

- Just like old times.

I already made the bed

so it's all ready for you.

I know it looks a little bare

in here right now,

but it's still your room.

If you're hungry, there's

leftovers downstairs.

If not, I guess I'll

see you later?

(door closes)

(intense music plays)

Oh, good, you're awake.

- What's all this?

- This is called breakfast,

eat it.

Eat.

- Can we just fight

and get it over with?

- I think it's best if we just

let things happen naturally.

Never force things.

Can't we just pretend?

Can I have one day?

You've been gone so long,

I don't even know

what we'd fight about.

I promise, we can fight

tomorrow.

(knock on door)

(knock on door)

- He's here, isn't he?

- He's still in love with you.

It turns out playing hard to get

is his kryptonite.

- It's probably why I married

you.

- The only reason that happened

is so you can stay

in the fucking country.

- Come back, show everyone

that you still work for me

and then we figure things out

from there.

- You don't even need me.

- You have to come back

so that no one else leaves.

- She gets it, Marcus.

Back off.

I'll bring her back in a week,

two at the most.

- One week.

That's it.

- One week.

- You have to go back.

They know, they know

where you live.

If you're gonna run,

just run,

but stop this fucking bullshit.

There's no way out of this,

Anna.

Run.

- I run when I'm ready.

I decide what happens to me,

no one else.

(bell rings)

Hi, I'm here to see

Christine.

(high pitch sound)

- Name?

- Anna.

- I'll see if she's in,

you can take a seat.

- What did you think would

happen when you saw her?

- I just wanted to say sorry.

- There's a restraining order

against you,

you can't go back.

Promise me you won't go back.

Promise me.

- OK, I promise. Just stop

asking.

- How is your mother?

- She's happy, quiet,

but happy, I think.

- Why do you think that is?

- She's quiet 'cause she doesn't

want to upset me.

- I mean, why do you think

she's happy?

- She's not screaming or yelling

and it totally confuses me

and I don't know what to do.

- She missed you.

She wanted you back.

- Nobody misses me.

- How do you know that?

- I just know.

- When was the last time

you had any violent thoughts

or episodes?

- What do you want?

- I'm just here to listen,

I promise.

- People who make promises

usually want something.

- I want to help you let go

of the violent delusions.

- I wanna leave, I need to

take a walk.

- Remember the group therapy

sessions are coming up.

When you're there, take time

outs when you need them.

It will be an adjustment at

first.

Any time you feel stressed

or panicked,

just use those breathing

exercises we practiced.

Or just walk away.

The session isn't over.

- Years later, I still feel

his hands on me.

I hear his breathing.

I wasn't even scared

when it happened.

Confused, mostly.

A game with new rules

I hadn't learned yet.

I'm still afraid of the dark.

It hurts and there's nothing

I can do about it.

I can embrace the pain

and use it to push me forward.

A way out, that's what the

pain is.

A way to set myself free.

It's their turn to hurt.

Their turn to embrace the pain.

Keep pretending until it's real.

- Hello, Anna.

I love your hair.

So perfect.

I'm already late,

so make this fast.

- Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here!

- I love you.

We can work this out.

- No, we fucking can't.

- Keep working for me.

I'll get you an apartment and...

- I don't work for anyone.

(gun shot)

- Anna?!

It's OK, you're at home,

you're safe.

No one's gonna hurt you.

Get some rest, OK?

- Hello?

- Can you take her with you,

just for tonight?

- I want to, I do,

but we have to ask her.

Maybe she doesn't want

to see me.

- Of course she wants to.

- I'll pick you up in an hour.

- Okey-doke.

- We all need our moments

of silence,

but hiding is not the answer.

We need to find a way

to start again.

A way of moving forward.

- Hello, I'm Elizabeth.

Please don't call me Liz.

I really hate all of you.

I mean, we just fucking sit

around here

and pretend like this is

helping.

- Elizabeth, we've talked about

that word.

- Then what am I supposed

to fucking say?

I'm displeased with all of you

and this situation?

All I have left in my life are

restraining orders.

I'm not even allowed within

a mile of my own family

and I hate not being able

to see them.

I fucking hate it.

- Let's remember to take a

breath and walk away.

Elizabeth messed up a little

bit, but she walked away.

She took the time to think

before acting.

We'd like to thank everyone

for sharing today.

Let's take a short break.

We'll meet back here in 15.

- I love him, I do.

I just wish he'd grow up.

- They grow up?

- Hey, you know who I saw

the other day?

Thomas.

- Who's Thomas?

- Don't pretend with me.

We love us some Thomas.

- It's been a while,

but he's still hot.

- We wrote a song about him.

- You're drunk.

- All right.

- Here she goes.

¶ Love you for so long,

old time. ¶

¶ Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. ¶

¶ Thomas, Thomas, Thomas,

make him love. ¶

¶ Make him love.

¶ You.

¶ Me. ¶

And I'm almost out.

- So, wait, how do I get

a song written about me?

- Not gonna happen.

- Where have you been

hiding this one?

- I'm not hiding.

- No, seriously, why haven't you

set me up

with your sister?

- Oh, I like her too much

to make her hang out with you.

- Oh.

I'm deeply offended.

- Fuck off, Steve.

I'm just glad you're back.

To Anna.

- Anna.

- Anna.

- I'll be right back.

- Come back inside.

We aren't done celebrating yet.

- I've got somewhere to be.

Take a shower.

Your hour starts now.

- What the fuck?!

(gun shot)

- Just wait a second.

- Anna, get in.

- This door stays open.

- That's fine. Feeling better?

- Does it matter how I feel?

- We wanna help you, Anna.

Or we can stake out your

apartment

and arrest anyone who shows up.

- And that's gonna be bad

for business.

- I'm retired.

- Oh, we can help you

with that, too.

- I have to do this on my own.

Am I under arrest?

- Not yet, but it could happen.

- Good to know.

- We don't want you, Anna.

We want Marcus.

- I have to go.

- Come on.

- You can't leave group therapy

mid session.

- Why not?

- Because you can't.

This is part of your parole.

You get one freebie.

If you miss anything else,

we'll have to notify

the police.

- Who's we?

- We, me, I. Does it matter?

- I didn't know you used

the royal 'we'.

- I know the first session

could be a lot.

Have you had any

other violent thoughts?

Anyone in your family,

me?

- Don't worry.

You're safe for now.

- Do you feel safe?

- No.

I don't know.

- Do you have another

placement lined up for you?

- I'm not sure I could

get another one.

It'd have to be some place

safe without any staplers.

- What we're doing here

isn't a joke.

- I know.

- Why did you leave

group therapy?

- I had to go.

- No, you had to stay.

- Bathroom's on the right,

take a shower.

Then walk down the hallway

to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

- What are you gonna do

about this thing?

- It's taken care of.

- I gave you this business.

You run it for me.

And if I have to,

I'll take it back.

- It's taken care of.

- Either she goes back

to work or you do.

I don't care which.

- Can I help you, Marcus?

Do you need anything?

- I know you're there.

Either come in or leave.

I just don't know what you want.

- I just wanna keep you safe.

- You can't do that,

it's too late.

- 15 years have passed.

The police stopped looking.

They told me I had to accept

that you weren't coming back.

- I didn't come back,

not really.

- If I wake up tomorrow

and you're not here...

- Don't make this about you.

It happened to me, not you.

You can get used to fear.

It can become a part of you.

You begin to need it.

Without my fear, who will I be?

Who will I run away from?

Being scared makes me feel safe.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

- Anna.

- Yeah?

- Do you have a death wish?

- No.

- Then why did you pick up

your phone?

- I don't know, it was ringing.

- You have two choices.

Trash your phone, get a new

number and get a new life.

Or meet me at your place

and we'll talk.

- When do you wanna meet?

- 2:00 at your place.

- 2:00.

- So, when are you gonna

leave town?

- Soon.

- I don't get it, Anna.

You got away.

- How much longer do you think

you can keep doing this?

- I guess I'll do what I have

to do

for as long as I have

to do it.

- Then what?

- Then I'll pretend this is

happening

to someone else for a

bit.

- Thank God this is happening

to someone else.

I don't think either of us

could handle it.

- I'm sorry.

- Priya?

Get to the kitchen.

Why do you always do this to me?

- Maybe I'm not trying

to do something to you.

Maybe I'm trying to

do something to me.

(groans)

(splashing)

(high pitch sound)

- I'm here. Don't you worry.

I'm here.

- What the hell happened to her?

- I don't know.

- She's alive, all right?

Just stop.

- You never listen.

- Do the other people know?

- You're sick, asshole.

- Do they know, Priya?

- Yes, they know.

- Anything you can tell us

can help.

- I told you

I don't remember anything.

- We'll check in on you soon

to see if your memory

comes back.

- Anything you can think of,

give us a call.

- Bathroom's on the right.

Take a shower and then walk

to the empty bedroom

down the hallway.

Your hour starts now.

- We can take you home

in the morning.

- We can talk about it

tomorrow.

- Anna, please let me

take care of you.

- It's too late for that.

- You can't go on acting

like nothing happened to you.

Turn away from me all you want.

When you turn back,

I'm still gonna be here.

- I just wanna go to sleep.

You can take me anywhere

you want in the morning.

I just need to go to sleep.

Your hour starts now.

Pretending that this is

happening to someone else

keeps me strong.

Pretending keeps me alive,

but I'm tired of pretending.

Nothing will change

until you change it.

I'll just keep pretending I'm

strong and one day

I'll have the strength to go

home.

- We know you feel trapped.

We get it.

You don't wanna be here.

Where else you gotta be

right now?

I'm glad I'm here.

I can go at any time,

but I'm still here.

So, who's here today?

Who's been listening

for a long time,

but wants to speak?

- I'm Tammy.

I've been coming to these

sessions for three months

and I love my kids.

I really do.

I just wanna see them, just to

keep them safe, you know.

- Thank you, Tammy.

- Thank you.

- Is there anyone else

who would like to speak?

Thank you all for coming

and we'll see you next week.

- You know, they won't let you

leave until you talk.

- What?

- They keep track

of who says stuff.

You can't just hang out.

Eventually, you have

to say something.

- How do you know?

- I just know.

Well, looks like

it's too late now,

class is over for the day.

- Too late now.

- Maybe next time.

- I don't think there's room

for that.

- You better eat my cake

next week

or there's gonna be trouble.

- It's my birthday next week.

You're invited.

- Oh, sorry, happy birthday.

- It's not my birthday yet.

We're just gonna have

a small dinner.

- My dinners are never small.

- Steve might come.

He likes you.

- Don't you dare.

- Oops.

- I'm going to kill you.

You leave me no other choice.

- Hello?

- I hear you're back on your

feet.

Anna...

Don't just pretend that

you can't hear me.

- What do you want?

- I wasn't good enough for you.

We had something.

- What do you want?

- I love you, Anna.

It's time for you to get back

to work.

- I'm not ready.

- Not yet, but soon.

- I'm sorry.

I can tell Steve not to come.

- He's your friend,

he should be there.

- Hey, hey, it's OK, it's OK.

Come here, come here.

- So, how does this work?

- Well, I usually say something

and then you say something

in return.

And then I basically beg you

for your phone number.

- Does that usually work for

you?

- Depends.

- On what?

How bad they wanna leave?

- Oh, ouch. I'm starting to

think you might not like me.

- We're here so that Mary gets

us out of her system.

It's easier to do this than to

have her try again.

She'll never stop.

- So, I don't have

a chance, do I?

- No one does.

- Come on, why don't you tell me

anything about yourself?

- Because I'm a prostitute

and I don't really like

to talk about it.

- I mean...Ah, well.

That's a big one.

Well, I thought we were

getting along fine.

I thought you liked me.

- "Oh, why doesn't she like me?"

What are you, 12?

- Look, I'm sorry if I...

- Sorry? Fuck sorry.

You know what I would like?

A choice.

A chance to make my own

decisions.

I wanna decide

what happens to me.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

I like my gun.

I like the sound.

Which version of me will

show up today?

How angry am I going to be?

How sad?

I wish I could choose,

but it's not up to me.

I know I have to say something,

but I don't want to.

I wish I could cry, but I can't.

I've been angry for

a really long time.

You all seem so sad to me.

I don't wanna be sad.

I don't wanna be anything.

- Thank you, Anna.

- Thank you.

- Would anyone else

like to speak?

- Did you really have

to punch him?

- He tried to hold my hand.

I don't think I actually

punched him.

I'm pretty sure he's making

it up.

- He's not making it up.

I saw the Instagram photo,

it was black eye.

Somebody punched him.

Glad you're back,

please don't go.

- Maybe I'm not really here.

- Michael, finally.

Apparently it only takes

20 phone calls.

- Years later I still feel

his hands on me.

- Sit down, I'll get you

a cup of coffee.

- I hear his breathing.

- Glad to have you back.

- Mary, Mary?

- I wasn't even scared

when it happened.

Confused, mostly.

- Who's that girl?

- A game with new rules

I hadn't learned yet.

- Anna, please don't say

anything.

I'm gonna have to take

a rain check on that coffee.

I'm late for a meeting.

- Come on, we'll get you

cleaned up.

- I'm not leaving until

this door opens.

- Hello, Carol.

- What did you do

to my girl?

- Nothing.

- What did you do?

- That's ancient history.

- If I see you near her again,

I will kill you myself.

- Congratulations.

- For what?

- You said something.

- Doesn't really matter,

does it?

- I might've lied to you

just to see what happens.

Just 'cause you said something,

doesn't mean this ends.

- You are such a bitch.

(high pitch sound)

- What's going on up there?

Some powerful ADD you've got.

- I'm just planning out how

I'm going to kill you.

- You can't kill me.

I'm your best friend.

- Hi, Anna, I know you're having

some trouble.

Why don't you try reading

the script through

a few times at first and then

you can make it your own?

- So, I just read this?

- Yes. Until you make the sale,

then you go down the list

and get the credit card number

and then move along.

The computer will

auto dial for you.

- OK.

- I'll be listening in

a few times at first.

After that you can make

your own, OK?

- Great.

- OK.

- Hello.

- Hi, I'm calling...

I'm calling...

Bathroom's to the right.

Take a shower and then

walk down the hallway

to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

(music plays)

(phone rings)

- Anna? Anna?

No, you don't.

Anna.

Anna.

You've almost got the color

back in your cheeks.

They're saying that I can

take you home.

- Why would you even

want me back?

- I have to take

care of you now.

It's what I do.

I need to take care of you.

- Mom, just one more day.

Two at most.

- I'm not sure, but I think

you just referred to me

as your mother.

Now go get your things.

Meet me in the car.

- Whatever it is, just say it.

- I didn't know why you left.

I thought it was my fault.

- I know you don't want

to talk about this.

So, why do you keep

bringing it up?

- Anna, let me help you.

I'm here for you.

- How many times did I hide

in this room while dad hit you?

- Don't, just...

- Let me go.

- I'll go make

us something to eat.

- I think it's a good idea.

- I'm not sleeping

on your couch.

I'd just be in the way.

- That's not possible.

OK, maybe, but it doesn't

matter.

My couch is your couch.

Anna?

(high pitch sound)

- You don't get

to change your mind.

(gun shots)

I think we should go.

- No, Mom, not really.

No.

She's fine.

Anna, are you fine?

- I'm fine.

- I'll bring her back,

I promise.

- Do you actually wear

these things in bed?

- No, your mother

bought me those.

You're not coming back, are you?

- I have to finish a few things.

- OK.

But you have to tell her

because I'm not.

- I'll call her.

I promise.

I just can't stay here anymore.

- Why not?

- Because I can't.

And I can't wear

these things anymore.

How do you do it?

How do you keep pretending?

Why didn't anyone touch you?

- Is that what you think?

You think that Dad and

Uncle Michael never touched me?

I guess I'm just better

at pretending than you are.

(bell rings)

- So?

- So?

- I know where

your mother lives now.

She seems really nice.

I totally understand why you

didn't introduce me to mom.

But I'm a little offended that

I didn't get to meet your

sister.

- I'll think about

what I wanna do...

- You don't think about things

anymore.

You don't make choices.

- She's kidding, Marcus.

She'll be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Anna. Tomorrow.

- Giving up would be easier.

Accepting the world as it is

would be easier.

Nothing will change

until you change it.

- Thank you, Anna.

- Thank you.

- We'll take a short break

and be back in 15.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Still pre-visualizing

my death?

You know you don't have to talk

at every session.

- Fuck you.

- Fuck you, too.

- Anna?

- Hi, mom.

- When are you coming home?

- I don't know when I can.

- Well then, go back to Mary's.

Just stay there. I won't even

come visit.

- I just have to go away

for awhile.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

- What for? I didn't do a thing.

I just want you to come home.

- Thank you.

There's a separation between me

and what happens to Anna.

There's at least three of us.

Past Anna, Anna in the now

and future Anna.

I wish the three of us

could get along,

but that's not possible.

This is all past Anna's fault.

This is future

Anna's problem to fix.

There are people

who stop doing this.

They move on and become

a face in the crowd.

I wanna be a face in the crowd

and feel like I belong there.

- Anna, where have you been?

- I don't know really.

- I've missed you.

I love your hair.

So beautiful, so perfect.

- It's time to stop pretending.

(gun shot)

- Anna.

(gun shot)

(intense music plays)

- See? I told you

she'd be back.

(gun shot)

- You can get used to fear.

It can become a part of you.

You begin to need it.

Without my fear, who will I be?

- Are you Anna?

- No, I'm not.

- We control our own realities.

We decide which door to open,

which path to walk.

When reality knocks

on your door,

remember that you have a choice.

Nothing will change until

you change it.

(soft music plays)

(soft knock on door)

(soft knock on door)

(soft music plays)