Drowning (2019) - full transcript

A mother deals with the grief associated with her son going off to war.

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(music plays)

(bubbling sound)

(techo music plays)

(knocking on door)

- What's the safe word?

- There is no safe word.

We don't do that anymore.

- What's the safe word?

- We don't do that anymore.

- You don't get
to change your mind.

- Pretending that this
is happening to someone else

keeps me strong.

(knocks on door)

Pretending keeps me alive,

but I'm tired of pretending.

Nothing will change
until you change it.

I'll just keep pretending
I'm strong

and one day I'll have the
strength to go home.

(music continues)

- Where is she?

- I don't know.

And I do a lot better when
you're sucking dicks

for a living like
the rest of us.

- We all do what we have to do.

- You know what?
I'll just leave.

- How could you let her leave?

- It's what she does.

She leaves.

- You should've stopped her.

- Fuck you, Marcus.

(water runs)

- Wanna go back
on the drugs, Priya?

(brakes squeak)

- Hi there, can I help you?

- I'm here to see Priya.

- Whatever Priya does for you,
I can do.

- I'm here to see Priya.

- Follow me.

(music plays)

- Are you crazy?
Why did you come back?

- Where is Marcus?

- He's picking up
another shipment,

which means at
least for tonight,

you're one lucky little bitch.

- How many in this shipment?

- He said 20.

I don't know where
I'm gonna put them.

I'd never come back.

- You have to leave
to come back.

- Get the fuck out!

- I feel at peace at
the gun range.

I can see the future.

I understand what to do.

Pretend so loud everyone else
can feel your thoughts,

each breath leading to the next.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

Every shot you fire leads
you closer to the target.

Every dream becomes real.

Keep pretending until it's real.

(shower runs)

(alarm blares)

- When I started here,
I didn't know what to do,

but I kept at it.

Will you at least try?

This is placement
number two for you.

There is no third placement.

You have to keep this job
or it's back to counseling.

No matter what happens,
don't hit anyone,

just walk away.

- Thank you.

(knocking door)

(knocking door)

Bathroom's to the right.

Take a shower and then
walk down the hallway

to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

- Your desk is over here.

I'll log you in and then
you can get started.

- There seems to be a difference
between what you hear

and what people say.

- You've said that before.

- Not that I know of.

We talked last week
about projecting anger

onto simple situations.

- You weren't there.

- You can just copy and paste
depending on whether

there's a formula or not.

Look, let me show you
a few tricks

and then I can disappear
for about an hour

and I'll pop in and check on you
after lunch, OK?

- Thanks.

- When I'm filling these out
I copy paste my face off.

Most products are 29.99.

So, just copy paste and then
correct as you go.


All done.

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

(intense music plays)

- I just saw myself bashing
her head against the desk.

- The police report said that
you used the stapler.

Doesn't say you banged her head
against the desk.

- There's a difference between
what I see myself doing

and what I do.

- Well, can you see that
she was just training you

and not trying to judge you
or make fun of you?

- You actually think there's
a difference?

- Please, tell me about the

- It's all on the report.

- Hi, Anna, how was your lunch?

If you skipped, you should
probably take one now.

I checked the files
you uploaded earlier

and the totals are a bit off.

Can I help you figure that out?


(staples click)

- Did you black out?

Did you know what was happening?

There were 22 staples removed
from that girl's head.

- She just wouldn't
leave me alone.

- Do you think that's the best
idea, to leave you alone?

You will have to face
those assault charges

and there is no way of
getting out of group therapy.

Lucky for you, your mother
posted your bail.

- Fuck.

- I understand it's
been some time.

- How did she even find me?

- Does it matter?
- Yes.

- Those sessions start in a week

and I expect to see you again
in two days.

- I can take you home now.

I'll just go get the car
and you can meet me out front.

(soft music plays)

(car engine turns)

- Please stop, just stop.

Are you done now? Fuck.

- Just like old times.

I already made the bed
so it's all ready for you.

I know it looks a little bare
in here right now,

but it's still your room.

If you're hungry, there's
leftovers downstairs.

If not, I guess I'll
see you later?

(door closes)

(intense music plays)

Oh, good, you're awake.

- What's all this?

- This is called breakfast,
eat it.


- Can we just fight
and get it over with?

- I think it's best if we just
let things happen naturally.

Never force things.

Can't we just pretend?

Can I have one day?

You've been gone so long,
I don't even know

what we'd fight about.

I promise, we can fight

(knock on door)

(knock on door)

- He's here, isn't he?

- He's still in love with you.

It turns out playing hard to get
is his kryptonite.

- It's probably why I married

- The only reason that happened
is so you can stay

in the fucking country.

- Come back, show everyone
that you still work for me

and then we figure things out
from there.

- You don't even need me.

- You have to come back
so that no one else leaves.

- She gets it, Marcus.
Back off.

I'll bring her back in a week,
two at the most.

- One week.

That's it.

- One week.

- You have to go back.

They know, they know
where you live.

If you're gonna run,
just run,

but stop this fucking bullshit.

There's no way out of this,


- I run when I'm ready.

I decide what happens to me,
no one else.

(bell rings)

Hi, I'm here to see

(high pitch sound)

- Name?

- Anna.

- I'll see if she's in,
you can take a seat.

- What did you think would
happen when you saw her?

- I just wanted to say sorry.

- There's a restraining order
against you,

you can't go back.

Promise me you won't go back.

Promise me.

- OK, I promise. Just stop

- How is your mother?

- She's happy, quiet,
but happy, I think.

- Why do you think that is?

- She's quiet 'cause she doesn't
want to upset me.

- I mean, why do you think
she's happy?

- She's not screaming or yelling
and it totally confuses me

and I don't know what to do.

- She missed you.

She wanted you back.

- Nobody misses me.

- How do you know that?

- I just know.

- When was the last time
you had any violent thoughts

or episodes?

- What do you want?

- I'm just here to listen,
I promise.

- People who make promises
usually want something.

- I want to help you let go
of the violent delusions.

- I wanna leave, I need to
take a walk.

- Remember the group therapy
sessions are coming up.

When you're there, take time
outs when you need them.

It will be an adjustment at

Any time you feel stressed
or panicked,

just use those breathing
exercises we practiced.

Or just walk away.

The session isn't over.

- Years later, I still feel
his hands on me.

I hear his breathing.

I wasn't even scared
when it happened.

Confused, mostly.

A game with new rules
I hadn't learned yet.

I'm still afraid of the dark.

It hurts and there's nothing
I can do about it.

I can embrace the pain
and use it to push me forward.

A way out, that's what the
pain is.

A way to set myself free.

It's their turn to hurt.

Their turn to embrace the pain.

Keep pretending until it's real.

- Hello, Anna.

I love your hair.

So perfect.

I'm already late,
so make this fast.

- Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here!

- I love you.

We can work this out.

- No, we fucking can't.

- Keep working for me.

I'll get you an apartment and...

- I don't work for anyone.

(gun shot)

- Anna?!

It's OK, you're at home,
you're safe.

No one's gonna hurt you.

Get some rest, OK?

- Hello?

- Can you take her with you,
just for tonight?

- I want to, I do,
but we have to ask her.

Maybe she doesn't want
to see me.

- Of course she wants to.

- I'll pick you up in an hour.

- Okey-doke.

- We all need our moments
of silence,

but hiding is not the answer.

We need to find a way
to start again.

A way of moving forward.

- Hello, I'm Elizabeth.
Please don't call me Liz.

I really hate all of you.

I mean, we just fucking sit
around here

and pretend like this is

- Elizabeth, we've talked about
that word.

- Then what am I supposed
to fucking say?

I'm displeased with all of you
and this situation?

All I have left in my life are
restraining orders.

I'm not even allowed within
a mile of my own family

and I hate not being able
to see them.

I fucking hate it.

- Let's remember to take a
breath and walk away.

Elizabeth messed up a little
bit, but she walked away.

She took the time to think
before acting.

We'd like to thank everyone
for sharing today.

Let's take a short break.

We'll meet back here in 15.

- I love him, I do.

I just wish he'd grow up.

- They grow up?

- Hey, you know who I saw
the other day?


- Who's Thomas?

- Don't pretend with me.

We love us some Thomas.

- It's been a while,
but he's still hot.

- We wrote a song about him.

- You're drunk.

- All right.

- Here she goes.

¶ Love you for so long,
old time. ¶

¶ Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. ¶

¶ Thomas, Thomas, Thomas,
make him love. ¶

¶ Make him love.

¶ You.
¶ Me. ¶

And I'm almost out.

- So, wait, how do I get
a song written about me?

- Not gonna happen.

- Where have you been
hiding this one?

- I'm not hiding.

- No, seriously, why haven't you
set me up

with your sister?

- Oh, I like her too much
to make her hang out with you.

- Oh.

I'm deeply offended.

- Fuck off, Steve.

I'm just glad you're back.

To Anna.

- Anna.
- Anna.

- I'll be right back.

- Come back inside.

We aren't done celebrating yet.

- I've got somewhere to be.

Take a shower.

Your hour starts now.

- What the fuck?!

(gun shot)

- Just wait a second.

- Anna, get in.

- This door stays open.

- That's fine. Feeling better?

- Does it matter how I feel?

- We wanna help you, Anna.

Or we can stake out your

and arrest anyone who shows up.

- And that's gonna be bad
for business.

- I'm retired.

- Oh, we can help you
with that, too.

- I have to do this on my own.

Am I under arrest?

- Not yet, but it could happen.

- Good to know.

- We don't want you, Anna.

We want Marcus.

- I have to go.

- Come on.

- You can't leave group therapy
mid session.

- Why not?

- Because you can't.

This is part of your parole.

You get one freebie.

If you miss anything else,

we'll have to notify
the police.

- Who's we?

- We, me, I. Does it matter?

- I didn't know you used
the royal 'we'.

- I know the first session
could be a lot.

Have you had any
other violent thoughts?

Anyone in your family,

- Don't worry.

You're safe for now.

- Do you feel safe?

- No.

I don't know.

- Do you have another
placement lined up for you?

- I'm not sure I could
get another one.

It'd have to be some place
safe without any staplers.

- What we're doing here
isn't a joke.

- I know.

- Why did you leave
group therapy?

- I had to go.

- No, you had to stay.

- Bathroom's on the right,
take a shower.

Then walk down the hallway
to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

- What are you gonna do
about this thing?

- It's taken care of.

- I gave you this business.

You run it for me.

And if I have to,
I'll take it back.

- It's taken care of.

- Either she goes back
to work or you do.

I don't care which.

- Can I help you, Marcus?

Do you need anything?

- I know you're there.

Either come in or leave.

I just don't know what you want.

- I just wanna keep you safe.

- You can't do that,
it's too late.

- 15 years have passed.

The police stopped looking.

They told me I had to accept
that you weren't coming back.

- I didn't come back,
not really.

- If I wake up tomorrow
and you're not here...

- Don't make this about you.

It happened to me, not you.

You can get used to fear.

It can become a part of you.

You begin to need it.

Without my fear, who will I be?

Who will I run away from?

Being scared makes me feel safe.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

- Anna.

- Yeah?

- Do you have a death wish?

- No.

- Then why did you pick up
your phone?

- I don't know, it was ringing.

- You have two choices.

Trash your phone, get a new
number and get a new life.

Or meet me at your place
and we'll talk.

- When do you wanna meet?

- 2:00 at your place.

- 2:00.

- So, when are you gonna
leave town?

- Soon.

- I don't get it, Anna.
You got away.

- How much longer do you think
you can keep doing this?

- I guess I'll do what I have
to do

for as long as I have
to do it.

- Then what?

- Then I'll pretend this is

to someone else for a

- Thank God this is happening
to someone else.

I don't think either of us
could handle it.

- I'm sorry.

- Priya?

Get to the kitchen.

Why do you always do this to me?

- Maybe I'm not trying
to do something to you.

Maybe I'm trying to
do something to me.



(high pitch sound)

- I'm here. Don't you worry.
I'm here.

- What the hell happened to her?

- I don't know.

- She's alive, all right?
Just stop.

- You never listen.

- Do the other people know?
- You're sick, asshole.

- Do they know, Priya?

- Yes, they know.

- Anything you can tell us
can help.

- I told you
I don't remember anything.

- We'll check in on you soon

to see if your memory
comes back.

- Anything you can think of,
give us a call.

- Bathroom's on the right.

Take a shower and then walk
to the empty bedroom

down the hallway.

Your hour starts now.

- We can take you home
in the morning.

- We can talk about it

- Anna, please let me
take care of you.

- It's too late for that.

- You can't go on acting
like nothing happened to you.

Turn away from me all you want.

When you turn back,
I'm still gonna be here.

- I just wanna go to sleep.

You can take me anywhere
you want in the morning.

I just need to go to sleep.

Your hour starts now.

Pretending that this is
happening to someone else

keeps me strong.

Pretending keeps me alive,
but I'm tired of pretending.

Nothing will change
until you change it.

I'll just keep pretending I'm
strong and one day

I'll have the strength to go

- We know you feel trapped.
We get it.

You don't wanna be here.

Where else you gotta be
right now?

I'm glad I'm here.

I can go at any time,
but I'm still here.

So, who's here today?

Who's been listening
for a long time,

but wants to speak?

- I'm Tammy.

I've been coming to these
sessions for three months

and I love my kids.

I really do.

I just wanna see them, just to
keep them safe, you know.

- Thank you, Tammy.

- Thank you.

- Is there anyone else
who would like to speak?

Thank you all for coming
and we'll see you next week.

- You know, they won't let you
leave until you talk.

- What?

- They keep track
of who says stuff.

You can't just hang out.

Eventually, you have
to say something.

- How do you know?

- I just know.

Well, looks like
it's too late now,

class is over for the day.

- Too late now.

- Maybe next time.

- I don't think there's room
for that.

- You better eat my cake
next week

or there's gonna be trouble.

- It's my birthday next week.

You're invited.

- Oh, sorry, happy birthday.

- It's not my birthday yet.

We're just gonna have
a small dinner.

- My dinners are never small.

- Steve might come.

He likes you.

- Don't you dare.

- Oops.

- I'm going to kill you.

You leave me no other choice.

- Hello?

- I hear you're back on your


Don't just pretend that
you can't hear me.

- What do you want?

- I wasn't good enough for you.

We had something.

- What do you want?

- I love you, Anna.

It's time for you to get back
to work.

- I'm not ready.

- Not yet, but soon.

- I'm sorry.

I can tell Steve not to come.

- He's your friend,
he should be there.

- Hey, hey, it's OK, it's OK.

Come here, come here.

- So, how does this work?

- Well, I usually say something
and then you say something

in return.

And then I basically beg you
for your phone number.

- Does that usually work for

- Depends.

- On what?

How bad they wanna leave?

- Oh, ouch. I'm starting to
think you might not like me.

- We're here so that Mary gets
us out of her system.

It's easier to do this than to
have her try again.

She'll never stop.

- So, I don't have
a chance, do I?

- No one does.

- Come on, why don't you tell me
anything about yourself?

- Because I'm a prostitute
and I don't really like

to talk about it.

- I mean...Ah, well.

That's a big one.

Well, I thought we were
getting along fine.

I thought you liked me.

- "Oh, why doesn't she like me?"

What are you, 12?

- Look, I'm sorry if I...

- Sorry? Fuck sorry.

You know what I would like?

A choice.

A chance to make my own

I wanna decide
what happens to me.

(gun shots)

(gun clicks)

I like my gun.

I like the sound.

Which version of me will
show up today?

How angry am I going to be?

How sad?

I wish I could choose,
but it's not up to me.

I know I have to say something,
but I don't want to.

I wish I could cry, but I can't.

I've been angry for
a really long time.

You all seem so sad to me.

I don't wanna be sad.

I don't wanna be anything.

- Thank you, Anna.

- Thank you.

- Would anyone else
like to speak?

- Did you really have
to punch him?

- He tried to hold my hand.

I don't think I actually
punched him.

I'm pretty sure he's making
it up.

- He's not making it up.

I saw the Instagram photo,
it was black eye.

Somebody punched him.

Glad you're back,
please don't go.

- Maybe I'm not really here.

- Michael, finally.

Apparently it only takes
20 phone calls.

- Years later I still feel
his hands on me.

- Sit down, I'll get you
a cup of coffee.

- I hear his breathing.

- Glad to have you back.

- Mary, Mary?

- I wasn't even scared
when it happened.

Confused, mostly.

- Who's that girl?

- A game with new rules
I hadn't learned yet.

- Anna, please don't say

I'm gonna have to take
a rain check on that coffee.

I'm late for a meeting.

- Come on, we'll get you
cleaned up.

- I'm not leaving until
this door opens.

- Hello, Carol.

- What did you do
to my girl?

- Nothing.

- What did you do?

- That's ancient history.

- If I see you near her again,

I will kill you myself.

- Congratulations.

- For what?

- You said something.

- Doesn't really matter,
does it?

- I might've lied to you

just to see what happens.

Just 'cause you said something,
doesn't mean this ends.

- You are such a bitch.

(high pitch sound)

- What's going on up there?

Some powerful ADD you've got.

- I'm just planning out how
I'm going to kill you.

- You can't kill me.

I'm your best friend.

- Hi, Anna, I know you're having
some trouble.

Why don't you try reading
the script through

a few times at first and then
you can make it your own?

- So, I just read this?

- Yes. Until you make the sale,
then you go down the list

and get the credit card number
and then move along.

The computer will
auto dial for you.

- OK.

- I'll be listening in
a few times at first.

After that you can make
your own, OK?

- Great.

- OK.

- Hello.

- Hi, I'm calling...

I'm calling...

Bathroom's to the right.

Take a shower and then
walk down the hallway

to the empty bedroom.

Your hour starts now.

(music plays)

(phone rings)

- Anna? Anna?

No, you don't.



You've almost got the color
back in your cheeks.

They're saying that I can
take you home.

- Why would you even
want me back?

- I have to take
care of you now.

It's what I do.

I need to take care of you.

- Mom, just one more day.

Two at most.

- I'm not sure, but I think
you just referred to me

as your mother.

Now go get your things.

Meet me in the car.

- Whatever it is, just say it.

- I didn't know why you left.

I thought it was my fault.

- I know you don't want
to talk about this.

So, why do you keep
bringing it up?

- Anna, let me help you.

I'm here for you.

- How many times did I hide
in this room while dad hit you?

- Don't, just...

- Let me go.

- I'll go make
us something to eat.

- I think it's a good idea.

- I'm not sleeping
on your couch.

I'd just be in the way.

- That's not possible.

OK, maybe, but it doesn't

My couch is your couch.


(high pitch sound)

- You don't get
to change your mind.

(gun shots)

I think we should go.

- No, Mom, not really.


She's fine.

Anna, are you fine?

- I'm fine.

- I'll bring her back,
I promise.

- Do you actually wear
these things in bed?

- No, your mother
bought me those.

You're not coming back, are you?

- I have to finish a few things.

- OK.

But you have to tell her
because I'm not.

- I'll call her.

I promise.

I just can't stay here anymore.

- Why not?

- Because I can't.

And I can't wear
these things anymore.

How do you do it?

How do you keep pretending?

Why didn't anyone touch you?

- Is that what you think?

You think that Dad and
Uncle Michael never touched me?

I guess I'm just better
at pretending than you are.

(bell rings)

- So?

- So?

- I know where
your mother lives now.

She seems really nice.

I totally understand why you
didn't introduce me to mom.

But I'm a little offended that

I didn't get to meet your

- I'll think about
what I wanna do...

- You don't think about things

You don't make choices.

- She's kidding, Marcus.

She'll be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Anna. Tomorrow.

- Giving up would be easier.

Accepting the world as it is
would be easier.

Nothing will change
until you change it.

- Thank you, Anna.

- Thank you.

- We'll take a short break
and be back in 15.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Still pre-visualizing
my death?

You know you don't have to talk
at every session.

- Fuck you.

- Fuck you, too.

- Anna?
- Hi, mom.

- When are you coming home?

- I don't know when I can.

- Well then, go back to Mary's.

Just stay there. I won't even
come visit.

- I just have to go away
for awhile.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

- What for? I didn't do a thing.

I just want you to come home.

- Thank you.

There's a separation between me
and what happens to Anna.

There's at least three of us.

Past Anna, Anna in the now
and future Anna.

I wish the three of us
could get along,

but that's not possible.

This is all past Anna's fault.

This is future
Anna's problem to fix.

There are people
who stop doing this.

They move on and become
a face in the crowd.

I wanna be a face in the crowd

and feel like I belong there.

- Anna, where have you been?

- I don't know really.

- I've missed you.

I love your hair.

So beautiful, so perfect.

- It's time to stop pretending.

(gun shot)

- Anna.

(gun shot)

(intense music plays)

- See? I told you
she'd be back.

(gun shot)

- You can get used to fear.

It can become a part of you.

You begin to need it.

Without my fear, who will I be?

- Are you Anna?

- No, I'm not.

- We control our own realities.

We decide which door to open,

which path to walk.

When reality knocks
on your door,

remember that you have a choice.

Nothing will change until
you change it.

(soft music plays)

(soft knock on door)

(soft knock on door)

(soft music plays)