Drive Thru (2007) - full transcript
Horror gets Super Sized when Horny The Clown, the demonic mascot of "Hella-Burger," starts slashing Orange County teenagers with his meat cleaver from Hell.
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Yo, Bruce-O...
Where we goin', bro?
Motherfuckin' Hella Burger, yo.
Make sure we get a double chili cheese
all up in here, nigga.
Mmm...
Oh, My God.
Like, double chili cheese?
Yeah!
Yo, check this shit out, yo.
Hey, yo!
- Yeah!
- Hahaha!
- Shit!
- Fuckin' holy throwin', bro!
- That's how I roll!
- Yeah!
Hi, I'm Horny the Clown.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try
our jalapeño cheese sticks?
They're only 99 cents
with any order.
Yo, we don't want no motherfuckin'
cheesy dicks, clown boy!
Can I fuck your whore, wigger?
Yo, what the fuck did you just say?
Can I take your order, mister?
Yeh. Yeh, yeh.
All right, Bozo.
We want uhh...
4 chili cheese Hella Half Pounders.
- And I want a milkshake. Chocolate.
- Ooh.
Yo, you bustin' out your tummies
as it is, booty quake.
You wanna die, bitch?
Are you dissin' us
in there, grease spot?
What the fuck did you just say?
You want fries with that?
Yey, yeh, yeh. Does the pope
shit in the woods, nigga?
- Yo, how 'bout I go show Jackoff-In-The-Box wassup?
- Yeah
Yo, Tony, I don't think
that's a good idea.
Tony!
Do you want to make it Hella Huge
for an extra 3 bucks?
Or Hella Normous for an extra 5?
Hell, no!
Say that fuckin' shit to my face!
Where the hell is he?
Anybody here?
Hey, clown boy!
Yo, I want to talk to you!
Bitch!
Yo, clown boy.
Clown boy.
Come out, wherever you are.
Oh, yeah.
You're pretty funny, right?
What, you ain't got the balls
to face me like a man? Huh?
Well, that's why you work
in this shithole, you fuckin' loser.
Clown boy!
It's your last chance, yo!
Dumb ass cracker.
Oh! I'll never eat this shit again.
Order up, bub!
Employee of the month's
'bout to fuck you up!
Yo, where the fuck
are my fries, dawg?
I ain't got all night and shit!
Yo, Tony!
Yo, I ain't playin'!
So whoever's up in here better chill
or I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass!
Yo, homes, man.
Yo, you fuckin' with me?
Ha ha..
Aaaahhhh!
Aah...aah...aah...
You want fries with that?
Uhh! Please! Don't hurt me!
My dad's rich! He'll give
you whatever you want!
Sorry, homey. That just ain't
gonna cut it!
Thank you, Cleveland!
Good night!
You rock!
Hey, that thing is worth
more than your car.
That's not saying much.
- Let's go to your room and get busy.
- Somebody's already having sex in there.
Someplace else, then.
Any port in a storm.
Patience, grasshopper.
Wait till this weekend when I'm 18.
I can vote...
Go to war...
And you won't go to jail.
Ohhh... Have you seen your ass?
How's a young hormone junkie like me
supposed to be patient?
Mind over mammary glands.
Where the hell can a girl
get a beer around here?
It's your house.
Yet none of these people
are my friends.
Ironic, isn't it?
Case in point.
Time to go clean the pool.
I don't remember inviting any
Banana Republicans to my party.
- What the fuck?!
- Jesus Christ!
- What's this bullshit?
- Hahaha!
Mmm...
What up, man?
Dude, that party still banging?
Nah. 5-0 just rolled up.
Shit as dead as Nixon.
I am so busted.
I have something that'll
make you feel better.
Val, nothing is going to
make me feel better
About facing certain death
when my parents get home.
I stand corrected.
Holy shit, man.
Check this out.
Ooh, what is it?
It's my mom's from back when
she and my dad were weirdo hippies.
What does it do?
Channels the spirit world and shit.
Oh, come on, that's bullshit.
You know those things don't work, Mac.
Dude. Shut the hell up.
Those things have been around since,
like, the Roman Empire. Ok?
Not only do those things work,
but a lot of people,
My vegan, clairvoyant, witch mother included,
think that they're dangerous.
Yeah, dumbass. Sayin' shit
like that is askin' for trouble.
Might piss it off
and call up a demon.
Or Charles Manson.
Dude, we could dial up Marilyn Manson
With this shit? Let's get it on!
I saw one of these in The Exorcist.
Linda Blair used it, you know, right before
she diddled herself with a crucifix?
Ooh.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I love that part.
Yummy.
You would.
Let's try it.
Hmm?
- I'm game. What do we do?
- Mmm?
All right.
Put your hands out like this.
Gently touch the edge
of the planchette.
Okay. Now, everybody,
clear your minds.
Oam
Okay, yo, this is not yoga class.
Bitch, I'm clearin' my mind.
That shouldn't take long.
- All right.
- Now. We ask it a question,
And it says, like, yes or no,
or it spells something out.
Well, who asks the questions?
I'll bet is has to be a--a virgin.
Oh, then I guess
it has to be Mac.
Screw you, sluts.
Ask a fuckin' question already!
Okay.
Um...
O great spirits...
We...Ask thee to...
Come to us... In...
All your splendor.
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
Oooh! shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
I think I can hear the spirits.
- Ohh, dude!
- Ohh!
Come on!
- Disgusting!
- Whatever.
Fuck it. Party's over, guys.
Oh, come on! It's only...
2:30. Shit.
- I'm Out. Catch you guys later.
- Bye.
Damn. Time flies on the chronic.
Weed warp, dude.
Oh, totally.
- You makin' a booty call?
- This bitch is a sure thing, too.
Dream on.
Okay...
- Hi.
- Hi.
So, what were you gonna ask it?
Um...
to predict the future.
But I already know you're gonna
abandon me when we graduate.
And I'll die...
Fat... Alone...
And Republican...
In Orange County, which is pretty much
worse than going to hell.
Mackenzie, I have
to go to New York.
You know it's impossible
To do anything cool in SoCal.
Besides, you got into Berkeley.
You don't want to fuck that up.
I want to go with you.
What the hell am I gonna get
out of college besides a freakin'... stalker.
Or a designer drug addiction?
Hmm?
O masterful spirits...
What is going to happen
to our pathetic little lives?
Did you just see?
N...1...
K...L...
P...
L...8.
I don't get it.
N, 1...
K, L...
P, L...8.
There it is again.
Tiffa, wake up.
Where's Tony?
Dude, those fuckin'
jerks just left--
Aaahhh! Aaahhh!
Oh, my God!
What?! What the fuck?!
What the...?!
We gotta fucking get outta here!
Fucking get out!
What?!
Aaaahhhh!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
What time'd you guys find the car?
Uh, we rolled up about 6 A.M.
And besides the obvious, did you notice anything
out of the ordinary? Uh, anything at all?
No, not really.
There was a song
playing' on the stereo.
That's not out of the ordinary.
Bunch of kids partyin', Numb nuts.
What was the song?
Highway to Hell.
Styx. Paradise Theater. Great album.
Mmm. That'd be AC/DC, sir.
Sergeant... I was rockin' it while
you were still shittin' yourself, so...
Dwayne... It was AC/DC.
Hey, Janet, I want you to take the truck,
Get it to the chop shop ASAP. All right?
What, you guys don't have somewhere to be?
Probably want to get it out
of the salt air, huh?
Calcium chloride ions build up,
break down the prints on the paint faster.
Yeah, I saw that episode of CSI too, Dwayne.
No. Actually, I just want to get it
outta here before the press comes--
I'm on the scene with detectives
Chase and Crackers
Of the Blanca Carne Police Department.
Yeah, actually, it's Crockers.
- No. We have no comment. You know what?
- C-R-O-C-K-E-R-S.
You need to clear this
crime scene right now.
Right now. Clear the crime scene.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'll talk.
You're not gonna talk, Dwayne.
You think Barella can do it again this year?
Listen, if Jumba's gonna regain the form
that won him the world title in '05
And take down points, Leader McMillis,
He's gotta spend more time..
A $400 noise citation?
And you have to appear in court?
Whatever possessed you?
Mom, it was just a little get-together
for graduation that got out of hand.
Relax, Marcia.
I mean...
You know how kids are.
Hell, I remember in the day
- We used to--
- Bill, please.
Do not encourage Mackenzie's reckless behavior.
Mom, you're overreacting.
How do you expect me to react?
I mean, you trash the house,
embarrass us in front of the neighbors,
And to top it all off, you
lose your brand new camera.
Mom, it was just one party, and
my camera's probably around here somewhere.
All right, kids.
How do you like your burgers?
Well done, please.
Bloody as hell, Mr. Carpenter.
Same here, Mr. C.
Outstanding choice.
How 'bout you, Mac?
Flesh-free, dad.
Oh, sweetie, it's a beautiful piece of meat.
Not as beautiful as when it
was mooing in some pasture.
There was a time when my
hypocrite parents wouldn't touch meat.
So much for the old flower child image.
Well, you know what they say.
If you're 20 and you're not a Liberal,
you don't got a heart.
And if you're not Republican
when you're 50, you got no money.
Selling out the sixties like
the rest of the Baby Boomers.
Oh, check this out.
I love this.
Watch.
It's great.
True, pony is strong again.
Jack Benjamin here.
Try my new Hella Monster chili burger.
It's one Hella burger.
Good afternoon, I'm Anita Hill.
A predawn tragedy has hit
this quiet community of Blanca Carne.
I'm here at Blanca Carne beach,
Where the police discovered this
Cadillac Escalade at 6 A.M. this morning.
The inside of the car
was drenched with blood.
But as of yet, no bodies
have been found.
Hey! Hey, you guys,
come check this out.
Hey, man, that's Brandon Meek's ride.
Dumb-ass wigger probably got his
cap peeled back by some real gangbangers.
Oh, my God. Dad, rewind that part.
Wait. Stop.
My God.
This is so trippy.
- What are you gonna do?
- Nothing.
Don't you think we should tell someone?
No way, they'll either think we're stoned
or had something to do with it.
Yeah, and let's hope the police
don't find out they were at the party.
Oh, great!
They were here?
Yeah
You know... Fish is right.
Take this secret to the grave. Okay?
Besides, it was just probably
a weird coincidence, anyway.
P.A.: Attention, Seniors.
Senior blood drive is this afternoon
at 3 P.M. in the gym.
Don't forget to bring your
permission slips from home.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Wanna come over tonight?
I can't. I'm way behind
on my yearbook photos,
And... my camera's still missing.
Someone must've stolen it.
Let's find out. Did Mac's
expensive camera get jacked?
Hmm. How 'bout this? Since Mac
is turning 18 this weekend...
Will I finally get to tap
that barely legal ass?
- Ugh!
- Ohh!
Is Fisher Kent a hopeless
perv with shit for brains?
Yes.
I gotta get to class.
- Ok.
- Later.
Bye.
Mmm...
Should I... go to class or
get baked in the bathroom?
Who are you?
Why are you doing this?
It's about time.
What's with the radio silence today?
- Sorry, I'm a little freaked out.
- What's wrong?
I think I might be losing it.
- Yeah? So, what else is new?
- Knock it off. I'm serious.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, listen...
Why don't you come over tonight?
We can do some girly shit,
and you can check out my new ink.
Ohh...Shit. I forgot.
What'd you get?
- Oh, I'm not telling.
- Is it fly?
Oh, girlfriend, it's superfly.
TNT.
Listen, I gotta jam, but
I'll call you later. Ok?
Hello?
Hello?
Writin' one of your famous Left-Wing, radical,
anti-establishment articles for the paper, are you?
Oh.
Yeah. Um...
After the Fascist editorial staff
censors it, it'll be more like
a tabloid horoscope.
How you doin' Lenny?
Good.
Good.
Ahh, I got the hemorrhoids
something' fierce. They're burnin'!
- God, they burn.
- Hey, Lenny, um...
You know... I would love
to chit chat with you,
But, Um... actually,
I got a lot of work to do.
Oh. me, too.
Me, too.
I gotta go pull a brown gator
that's cloggin' up the staff shitter.
Now, I come... 'cause I
got a present for you.
Oh, my God!
My camera!
Lenny, where did
you find this?
You don't wanna know.
Thank you!
Hmm.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
My God.
- Say "cheese"
- Aaahhh!
Aah! Aah!
Hello, Mackenzie.
Beginning to get
the picture?!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Where do you think
you're goin'?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ooh!
Aaahhh!
Hahahahaha!
Aaahh!
This party's just getting
started, girlfriend!
Aaahhh! Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
P.A.: Attention.
P.A.: Attention, students.
Blanca Carne High School
lunch menu for Friday,
April 12...
Val Carbonara!
Val!
No!
No!
No! No!
Please, God,
No! No!
Ohh!
No!
Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
Aah!
Uhh!
Fuck!
Mackenzie, I'm lonely.
You know you want my horn dog
in your hot little buns.
I'm calling the cops!
You're not gonna be lonely
When you're getting gang-raped
in your prison cell every night!
Heh heh heh!
No one can help you.
You're my girl now.
And I'm horny!
Aah! Aah!
Oh, Lenny, please help me!
Aaaahhhh!
Aah! Aah!
It's time to double
your pleasure.
Get two orders of my triple-X
Hella-Hot Wings for the price of one.
Now, that's a money shot.
How many times do I
have to tell you?
It was a 7 foot Horny the Clown
chasing me with a meat cleaver.
I can't believe you guys think Lenny
did this. That's insane.
Mr. Schwartz had an
extensive criminal record.
He also had your camera, which was stolen the night
Brandon Meeks & his friends disappeared.
Not to mention he offed himself.
Textbook murder/suicide scenario.
- So that's it, then?
- Yeah. For now.
Lenny couldn't find his ass
with both hands.
Explain to me how he could
possibly pull this off.
Is he a fucking magician
or something?
Mackenzie, just try to
calm down, honey.
Sweetheart, I think it's time for you
to go home and get some rest.
We'll take it from here.
- You don't believe anything I've told you.
- Whether we believe you or not is irrelevant.
We have very little physical evidence
to back up your story about Val.
No clow suit, no microwave.
Hello! The guy gave me Brandon Meeks'
license plate number before he disappeared.
And the exact description of Val's
tattoo before she died.
What? Huh?
The guy with talking board
games and magic balls?
Let me ask you somethin'. Do you
do any kind of drugs, Ms. Carpenter?
- Up yours, detective Crackers.
- Ok, it's Crockers, young lady--
- Crackers.
- Detective, our daughter does not do drugs.
- Do I need to call our lawyer?
- I'm outta here.
I'm sorry.
Ooh!
- Relax. I come in peace.
- Oh, shit.
You try and relax with
Ronald McStalker on your ass.
I'm sorry about Val.
I can't believe she's gone.
This whole thing is
so fucking bizarre!
- Who would do something like this?
- Better yet, how?
- He must be psychic or something.
- No, it's more than that.
- He knows us.
- Wait, what the fuck do you mean?
- He's watching.
- Hey, take it easy, Mac. All right?
- Star's about to lose her shit.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
I've already lost
my shit.
What I want to know is, what's this
got to do with Horny the Clown?
I grew up with that
lovable son of a bitch.
It's like finding out Captain Kangaroo's got
pieces of Mr. Green Jeans in his freezer.
Mr. Benjamin.
I'm detective Chase.
This is my partner,
Detective Crockers.
- Blanca Carne Police Department.
- What can I do for you?
Well, we have reason to believe that
the perpetrator of the recent homicides
may have been wearing a
Horny the Clown costume.
- Well, Chase and Crackers...
- Yeah, it's Crockers.
That's what I said.
Please, why don't you join me in my office.
Maybe we should discuss it there.
Oh, those poor kids.
Has the press found out
about the clown suit?
No, we have a press
blackout on this case.
'cause I've got thousands of those
damn things in circulation.
I mean, for commercials
and whatnot.
If one went missing,
I'd never hear about it.
Don't worry, Jack, yes. This will
not hurt your business in any way.
Do you know a man by the
name of Lenny Schwartz?
Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.
Do you think he stole the clown suit?
Well, w-we're not at liberty
to discuss that--
Police business and all.
You understand.
We found Hella Burger bags
in the first victim's car.
With your permission, we'd like
to see the security tapes
from both Blanca Carne restaurants
the night they disappeared.
I wish I could help you out,
but those cameras are just for show.
I guess I'm too cheap to buy a
real system, but don't tell anyone.
Thank you for your
time, Mr. Benjamin.
You think of anything,
you give us a call.
Whoa!
The original Horny!
I remember him. Wonder who
that lucky little shit was.
My son.
Ok. Ok. Uhh...
Is he still bein' Horny--
D--playin' Horny?
Archie? No. He hasn't done
that since he was a kid.
He's um...
Passed away now.
Oh. Well the new one's
got some shoes to fill.
Hey, could I get your
autograph, Jack?
- Of course, yeah.
- Right... there.
- Detective.
- No words. Just the name, huh?
- It's an autograph, Crackers.
- A-actually, it's Crockers.
- Like I said.
- Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Benjamin.
- Lot of people make that mistake.
- All right, here we go, Dwayne.
Just take it outside.
- Aah! Oh, you bastard!
- You knew I was comin' over.
What the hell are
you listening to?
Oh.
Highway to Hell. Tryin' to see if there
are any backwards, satanic messages on it.
It was playing in Brandon Meeks'
Escalade when they found it.
- What?
- You know, like in all those old 70s songs?
Try to see if there's
some kind of clue in it.
Mac, all that backwards, satanic
message stuff is bullshit.
That's not
what I read.
Jesus! There are 7 backwards messages,
and all of them are about Satan?
See? So, along with finals,
and being old enough for the draft,
which will happen,
Now I got the Prince of Fuckin' Darkness
to worry about. Fisher!
- Put that down and back away.
- Sorry.
Mmhh...
Mmm...
Why don't you give me
my birthday present.
- Your birthday isn't until tomorrow.
- I don't have it.
Think you do.
My parents see you come in?
Door was open.
Put on something loud
just in case.
- Honey?
- What? Go away!
Why is the door locked?
Is Fisher in there with you?
No, Mom! I'm getting dressed
for the carnival.
Oh, sweetie. You know, we'd really rather
you not go. After all that's happened.
Mom, please!
We talked about this!
This is the last big school event of the
year, and everyone is gonna be there.
Plus, I have to work the haunted
house for yearbook club.
All right, but, um...
Hi.
Are you sure you want to?
I mean, I respect your--
Uhhh...
I think we've been
respectable long enough.
I'll be damned if I'm
gonna die a virgin.
Mmm...
Mmm...
Oh, look. Tina McCandless
and Chad Baldwin.
You mean Aberzombie
and Bitch.
God, this place
is lame tonight.
Probably explains why you
losers are working here.
Are you supposed to be
scary, Fish face?
Oh, not as scary as the dockers
you have halfway up your ass, Chad.
How'd you like my foot
all the way up your ass?
I'm sure what you meant
to say was "dick."
So, um, do you and your sub-pop
want to buy, like, a ticket or what?
Uhh!
Sweet costume, Mac.
I was beginning to suspect
you were a lesbo.
Now I'm sure.
Well, as long as the gene pool is
filled with bottom feeders like you,
I have to keep
my options open.
- Ew, gross! What a fucking bitch!
- Fuck
- Who needs her?
- Duty calls!
Aaahhh.
Ohh! I told you to,
like, wait for me, Chad.
I couldn't help it.
You're just too sexy.
Yeah, right.
False start fraggin'.
Hahahahaha!
Hahahahaha!
Haha!
Hahaha!
Yeee Hahahaha!
Shit, Chad, my prada
is fucking soaked!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aaahh! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
- Aah!
- Break it up!
Welcome to Horny's Funhouse!
You oughta tell
that dude to--
Aaahh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah!
See, Fisher?!
Fast food kills, fucker.
Bill, do you have to eat the
Hella-Monster's slop... whatever burger?
It looked so
good on TV.
Oomp!
- Can we please go?
- Ohh, excuse me.
Ohhh...
Marcia?
Marcia Johnson.
Burt? Oh, my God, I
haven't seen you in forever.
Hi, it's Marcia
Carpenter now.
Oh.
Oh, sorry. Uh, this is my husband
Bill and my daughter Mackenzie.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
We were friends in high school.
Burt and I.
- Oh, so you went to Blanca Carne.
- Um, San Guano, actually.
My daughter goes to,
uh, Blanca Carne.
She's about your age, Mackenzie.
Oh! Yeah, right. Tina.
I know her.
She's a...
Terrific girl.
I just saw her at
the haunted house.
I'm working it this year.
Right!
Elvira, Mistress
of the Dark.
Um, did you hear about...
Tori Meeks' kid?
Um, Mackenzie's best friend, Valerie
Espinoza disappeared last week.
She's Grace Overstreet's daughter.
That's weird.
So... you two knew the
parents of both victims?
I better catch up with Tina.
It's good to
see you, Marcia.
- Nice meeting you.
- Oh.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
Hmm.
My God, Mac. You
gotta come quick.
- What?
- The haunted house.
It's, like, broken down or something.
I don't know and
I cannot find Fisher.
Fisher?
Hello?
Is there anyone
in here?
Anybody?
Is anyone in here?
Hello?
Is there anyone
in here?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- That was ok, bitch.
- Fuck, no!
- Aaahh!
- Aah!
Oh, my God!
Fisher! Fisher!
Fisher, are you ok?!
What? I want to
go with him.
Not tonight. Not
tonight, Mackenzie.
You need to go home, get a couple hours'
sleep, and maybe you can see him tomorrow.
Uhh...
Shit!
Oh, my God.
We got Jones over there
on the crime scene.
Forensics is hittin'
it hard, so...
But I don't know. I mean,
we're supposed to buy this shit?
Hey, where do you
think you're goin'?
- I'm here to see my friend, Fisher.
- Yeah, well, there are no visitors allowed.
I have to see him.
Fisher!
Listen, cool it,
you little brat!
Take your hands off
my daughter, sir!
- Mom, what are you doing here?
- You can let her go.
You two, come with me.
Mackenzie.
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
I could ask you the same question.
Why are cops guarding Fisher's room?
You can't possibly think that
he's responsible for this.
I have two more missing kids on my hands,
and Fisher is my only eyewitness.
One of them is Tina
McCandless, isn't it?
- How do you know that?
- Same way I knew about the others.
- This time--
- Uh-uh. You stop right there.
If I try and check one of your possessed
toys into evidence, they'll have my badge.
- Why won't you believe me?
- How do you know I don't?
Because the lynch mob is gatherin' around
Fisher with their torches and pitchforks.
We're just questioning
him at this point.
Don't give me the same line of
bullshit you're giving the press.
Mackenzie, calm--
I'm sorry.
Mackenzie?
Mackenzie?
Mackenzie.
Would you please
talk to me?
Are you ever planning
to tell the police
that the parents of all the
victims are your old buddies?
What's that got to do
with anything?
You're joking, right?
Mother, it's a
very definitive pattern.
That's what it's got
to do with everything.
It's more like an awful
coincidence, Mackenzie.
Mother...
I know you're not as stupid as you've been
pretending to be for the past few years.
Don't talk to me
like that, Mackenzie.
Then you start
talking to me!
Oh, you are so
closed off!
But I know there's something
eating you up inside.
I can see it
in your eyes.
Yes, well, I'm
worried about you,
And I wish that the
police knew something.
They don't know shit!
But you do!
I don't know more than anybody else,
and I resent the accusation that
I'm withholding information.
Thou doth protest
too much, mother.
Mackenzie, can we please
talk about this at home?
I am not interested in talking
to someone who doesn't care enough
about Fisher to speak up and refuses to
accept the fact that I could be next!
Fine.
The girl working the funhouse didn't see
anyone else but Fisher Kent go in.
That was right before
my daughter was taken.
Why would he want
to hurt Tina?
I don't know! Why don't you
do your job and go ask him?!
I already have.
But right now... I have
some questions for you.
You knew Marcia Carpenter
in high school, right?
Yes.
What about Tori Meeks
and Grace Overstreet?
Yeah, so what?
All of the missing children are the
sons and daughters of your friends.
- Doesn't that strike you as odd?
- I--I don't understand.
Why would someone dressed as Horny the
Clown want to hurt your children?
Um... uh...
I have no idea.
Well, that's a lie,
and you know it.
Mr. McCandless, your
daughter is missing.
And if you don't help me,
I may never find her.
I don't even know
where to start.
Try starting from
the beginning.
Huh?!
What--
What the hell's
goin' on in here?
You better not be tryin'
any shit with me, boy.
Your daddy might've brought you in
this world, but I'll take you out.
You gonna eat that?
Oh, hell yeah.
Your balls are showin'.
Detective Chase,
it's happening!
Aaahh!
- Oh, Fisher! What the fuck?
- Shh!
Let's get outta here.
Where do you wanna go?
You can't go home.
I can lay low with
Van for a while.
What do you
want to do?
I have to figure out how my
mom and her friends are connected.
It's obvious he intends
to whack us all.
Maybe he only
wants revenge.
Most parents, mine excluded, of course, would
rather die than see their kids get killed.
What the hell could a bunch of pasty, O.C.
socialites have done to piss him off like this?
"See you at 4:20."
You know anyone with
a "4:20" tattoo?
I bet it's not a tat.
This fucker's into variety.
Hold on a sec.
- Yo, Van, what's up?
- Dude, you're on the news.
Hey, do you know anybody
with a "4:20" tattoo
Or, a board graphic or
something with 4:20 on it?
Yeah, 4:20 Boys.
Uh, Chuck Taylor's group.
Oh, right!
Those fags!
Uh, thanks, man.
I'll call you back.
Snap.
4:20 Boys.
Hey, look, stop
hoggin' it.
Yeah.
Fuckin' burnouts! Always came in
last at the local team events.
This guy, Chuck Taylor, tried
to steal my deck once.
Oh, my God. That's my mom's
high school boyfriend's name.
- Are you serious?
- The legendary Charlie Taylor.
- Where we goin'?
- While you lay low with Van,
Marcia and I are gonna
have a "come to Jesus."
- Hey, fuckers.
- Huh?
Let's hit the Fun Space.
It's so necessary.
All right, whatever.
Hey, kids! Welcome to the
Hella Burger Fun Space.
This Fun Space is for
kids 12 and under,
So make sure your
folks are here.
Hahahahaha!
All right, buddy
Here's your Little Devil combo,
You little devil.
Well, all right, then.
Thanks for comin' in.
You guys have a
Hella nice day, then.
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Hoo Ha Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Whoa!
Ow!
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try
our Horn Dog Corn Dog combo?
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Heh Heh Heh!
It's only 2.99.
No, thanks... Robbie.
I'll take three number 4s,
Hella-Normous,
2 orders of Inferno Fries,
Double Chili, Double Cheese,
And 4 Chocolate Shakes in the
Prince of Darkness collector cups.
Hungry.
That'll be 26.50.
Thanks.
And, uh... the Horn
Dog's on the house.
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Heh Heh Heh!
Come to my house.
Excuse me a minute.
It's time to rock!
Uhh! I'm ok.
I'm ok. I'm ok.
This Play Space is for
children 12 and under!
Can't you read the sign?
Suey! Suey!
You pig!
You--you--you don't want
to dance with me, Shirley!
Listen, I got your number, cucumber!
That's it!
I'm callin' the authorities.
You--you--
You better control your friends
or they're gonna end up in the hoosegow.
The what?
Just get them out of
the Play Space, ok?
Whatever.
Where's your shitter?
Language.
The ladies' room is
around the corner. Ok?
Heh Heh Heh!
Heh Heh Heh!
Oh, in the mouth.
Hahaha! Oh...
Did you say somethin', bro?
Nah, you just fraggin' stoned, bro.
Yes, I am.
Heh heh heh!
Having fun, kids?
Hey, fatass, where's our food?
He probably ate it.
And Carrie, too.
You'll get your food
as soon as your mama
takes my dick out
of her mouth, bitch!
Come out here. We'll show you
who the bitch is, pork chop!
Yeah, you bubble-nose motherfucker.
Time is up, son.
Did someone say "pork"?
Heh heh.
Chop!
- Oh...
- Shit!
Don't hurt me, man.
Hurt ya?
Heh heh heh
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm just gonna
bash your brains in.
I'm gonna bash 'em
right the fuck in!
Aaahhh!
All work and no play
makes Horny a dull boy.
Aaahhh!
Ohh! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Ohh! Oh, my...
I'm on the scene of what appears
to be yet another grisly murder
In what appears to be the most
heinous case of serial murder...
Mackenzie! Where the hell
have you been?
Your father's been driving
around looking for you.
We've been worried sick!
Not as worried as Charles Taylor's
gonna be, I'll bet. Hmm?
How did you...
Mackenzie?
What are you
looking for?
This.
I could take it to
detective Chase, if you want
Maybe you'll talk to her.
Hmm?
I'm so scared.
Why would someone...
want to murder the children
of your friends?
When I was young...
I did something terrible.
I had this... crazy
group of friends.
And none of us went
to the same schools,
But we used to hang out
together in the Summers.
My old boyfriend...
Charlie Taylor
Tori Hill...
Brandon Meeks' mom.
Burt McCandless, the man
you met at the carnival.
And Grace...
Val's mom.
There was this
young man...
Archie Benjamin.
Jack Benjamin's son.
Hella Burger
Jack Benjamin?
Archie didn't have
any friends.
He was...
An extremely
strange boy.
And we loved
to torment him.
But despite our cruelty, he
was totally obsessed with me.
It got so bad that
he dropped out of school,
And he spent all his time
working with his father.
He was in every one of those
stupid old commercials.
It was his entire indentity,
his claim to fame.
But then something happened.
Archie died in a fire.
And the police said
it was an accident.
But it was no accident.
How do you know?
Because we killed him.
It was the night of his 18th birthday,
and he'd sent me an invitation.
Happy birthday. Archie.
But we just laughed and
used it to roll joints.
Charlie hated him because
of his crush on me.
And so he convinced everyone
that we should crash Archie's party.
And play a prank
on him.
Aah!
Archie died...
In that fire.
The police always thought
it was an accident.
And you...
Your friends, you
never told anyone?
No.
We were terrified of getting into trouble.
And we wanted so bad to
believe it wasn't our fault.
But deep down,
I knew that it was.
And now...
Now we are paying
for our sins.
You're paying?
Hardly, mom.
Last time I checked, the
crosshairs were on my head.
And my 18th birthday
is tomorrow.
I won't let anything
happen to you.
I'm calling detective Chase.
I want you in protective custody.
I am not putting
my life in their hands.
They have no idea
what they're dealing with.
I will tell them
what we did.
It's Jack Benjamin. He's taking
from us what we took from him.
Ohh...
It's not Jack Benjamin,
can't you see that?
It's Archie.
Mackenzie, where are you going?
I'm going to talk to Jack Benjamin,
The one person who might
be able to stop him.
Shh. Shh Shh Shh.
Ok, what the hell is
all this crap, Rambo?
It's insurance, man.
check this shit out.
If we find Horny, I got just about
everything we need to kill his clown ass.
A plastic tent stake?
Yeah, well, um...
they didn't--
They didn't have any wooden ones
at the Army Surplus store.
What am I gonna do?
Ok, he's not a
vampire, fuck-wad.
Yeah, man. If you think
a Ghetto Paint-By-Numbers Jesus
is gonna stop him,
you're fuckin' smokin' crack.
Hey, fuck you, guys.
At least I came prepared.
I mean, we could be dealin' with
fuckin' anything here. Right, Mac?
That's why I brought
the silver bullets.
- Oh, shit!
- Where the hell did you get this?
It's my dad's from when
he was in the Army.
Do you know how
to shoot this thing?
How hard can
it be, right?
Fisher: Shit.
What's this?
Bit of courage.
Yeah, pass that shit over.
All right, Fish and I are gonna go try and talk to
Mr. Benjamin while you guys scope out the garage.
- The garage?
- You know, we need evidence.
Psycho killers usually
keep shit in the garage.
Body parts in freezers,
that kind of thing?
All right, meet back
here in an hour. Cool?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Cool.
Shit, what if he's
really in there?
Ok, grow some
fuckin' balls, Nancy.
I'm supposed to be
the chick here, remember?
Let's just split up.
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
Oh, come on.
You wanna get outta
here fast or what?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Ok, so, you go check out the backyard,
and meet me in the garage. All right?
All right.
Well... peace, bitch.
Yes, I know Jack Benjamin
is a pillar in the community, judge,
but I assure you this is not
a frivolous search warrant.
Yes, I can
establish motive.
His son was killed by the
parents of the missing children.
And he lied to
us about it.
It's all in
my report.
Yes. Yes, thank you,
your honor.
Ok, G.I. Joe.
All you need now is the
Kung Fu grip and you're all set.
Detective Chase.
Mrs. Carpenter, take a deep breath.
Calm down.
Well, how long ago
did she leave?
Ok.
Jack. Oh, Jack.
Wake up!
Our guests are
here, daddy.
It's party time.
Jesus, this guy's made a killing
off that fuckin' slop.
Over 5 billion killed.
Holy shit.
Archie's room.
Greg Brady has got
nothing on this guy.
Well, this
explains a lot.
- No shit.
- Mmhh.
What the fuck
was that?
Hahahaha!
What the hell
are you doing?
I think it's tryin'
to tell us something.
Have a Hella nice day.
Please don't
do that anymore.
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
Hahahaha!
- Huh, it's midnight.
- Yeah? So?
So... it really
is my birthday.
This is what
he's been waiting for.
My mother killed him on his 18th
birthday, and he's gonna kill me on mine.
Shit.
Um, let's get
the fuck outta here.
Hey, Star!
I--I've found a freezer in here.
Did you check this out yet?
Oh! Fuck!
Fuck! Star!
Get your ass over here!
God.
Oh...my God...
Oh, my God!
Relax.
She's just chillin'.
Ya got a lot
of guts, kid.
Uhh! Oh...
- All clear.
- Wait, wait!
Wait.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Little pigs, little pigs,
let me come in!
Let's do this thing.
All right. You check the garage, and then
you recon with me back in the house.
Done... and done.
Aah!
Uhh!
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh!
Unhh!
You eyeballin' me, boy?
Oh...fuck. Fuck!
Crockers, what the
hell was that?
Nothin'! All clear.
It's cool.
Sweet Jesus!
Ohhh... God!
Fuck me.
Chase, we got two unidentified bodies
out in the meat freezer here.
One male, one female.
Both, uh--both--
both, uh...
Both late teens.
All right, well, you call for backup,
and then you get your fat ass up here.
Roger that.
Don't move, motherfucker!
- He's gonna kill me!
- Who's gonna kill you?
Archie! He's here.
There is nobody here, sir.
You are under arrest.
Aaahh!
Aaahh! Aaahh!
Aaahhh!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
Aah! Mmmhhh!
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
- Aah!
- Surprise!
Yeh heh heh heh heh!
Heh heh heh!
What's wrong?
Don't you like
surprises?
Mmhh!
Aah! Aaahhh!
Well, you got
it wrong.
No one can
hear you scream.
What do you want!
For your 18th birthday,
it'll be as special as mine.
But you're lucky. All of
your friends showed up.
- Where's Fisher?
- He wasn't invited!
Aah!
This is a little party game
your mother taught me.
Aaahhh!
Aaahh!
Aah!
Aah! Aaahh!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhh!
Help me! Help me!
Aah! No!
Aah!
Aaahh!
- Help me! Aaahh!
- Make a wish.
Get the fuck away from her!
It's between you and me, Archie!
Aaahh!
Oh, my God! Please help me!
Get it off!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Mom!
Uhh! Ohh!
Now I'm gonna give your daughter
an extreme fucking makeover!
Where were we?
Heh Heh Heh Heh.
Heh Heh Heh.
Heh Heh Heh
Heh Heh Heh
Huh?
Aahh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Mom! Mama!
Come on! Get out!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aaaahhhh!
Aaahhh!
Ohhh!
Fast food kills, fucker.
Man, this reminds me
of that Henderson case.
Remember that one?
Where that chick stuck that 12-gauge
up that guy's ass and just let 'er rip?
But, good God, this is
10 times worse than that.
Oh, this is one ugly
son of a bitch right here.
Can we I.D. the
guy wearing it?
Well, all the bodies are
accounted for except for his.
Nah. There's gotta be
some sort of--
Just take it to the station
and get it printed, Dwayne.
Today.
Let's go, Kimosabe.
Mackenzie.
We need to talk about Fisher.
I know.
He's dead.
Fisher is alive.
What?
He's in the hospital.
But I want
to prepare you.
He's in critical condition, and the doctors don't
know if he's gonna make it through the night.
Mom, mom, we have to go now.
I have to go see him, ok?
Ok, sweetheart, ok.
We'll go right away.
Your father should
be here any minute.
We'll go right away.
It's ok.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
Oh. I'm just glad
this whole thing is over.
I'll meet you
up there, ok?
I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over.
I'm here to see Fisher Kent.
Detective Chase called ahead.
You must be Mackenzie.
Right this way.
It was touch and go for a while,
but I think he's--
Oh, my God.
It's not over.
"Today." That fuckin' Chase.
What a bitch.
I'd do her, though.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try our new
Purgatory Pepper Jack Poppers for 99 cents?
Nah. I'll just have your
Beelzebro Barbecue chicken sandwich,
And two orders of your Hella Hot Wings.
One extra spicy, one triple X.
11-8-25, Code 6. 105 North Avenue 52.
Want fries with that?
Say again?
I said, do you want
to die, fat ass?!
What the hell?
Arrrhhh!
- Aaahhh!
- Have a Hella nice day!
Subtitles edited by the Kino crew
Stream Full HD Movies & TV Shows On The Fin
I've seen some
nasty shit before.
I mean, I had dysentery,
but this takes the cake, man.
Oh! this is the original Horny.
I remember him.
Horny the Clown.
Horny the Clown.
Maybe Horny's a stoner.
Think he wants to get high with us?
Ohhh..
You bitches want some grub?
Oh.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like
to try our..
Beelzebro Barbecue
chicken sandwich...
With chili cheese
Hella half-pounders...
Inferno fries, double chili,
double cheese...
Hella hot wings.
One extra spicy, one triple X.
A little Devil combo.
Horn Dog corn dog
And four chocolate shakes in the
Prince of Darkness collector cups.
Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah!
Ohhh...
Aaaahhhh!
- Do it again?
- Let's do it again, yeah.
We need another one.
Still rolling.
- Are you set?
- Set.
Do you want me
looking at the camera?
Doin' all right?
Aaaahhhh!
No!
Ow!
- Hahaha!
- You ok?
- Oh, jeez louise.
- Cut it.
Oh, if only there was one person
with more motivation and pencis pen...
Ok.
I'm sorry.
Cutting.
I'm on the scene of
yet another grizly murder
In what appears to be
the most heinous--
M-- all right? No.
Ok? That's all right?
We'll continue to run?
Yes. Ok, Christine.
Ok, right.
Ready?
Ready.
Ahh...
Aren't you ready?
Come on.
Ok.
Hi, I'm Anita Hill.
A predawn tragedy has struck this
quiet community of Blanca Carne.
I'm here at
Blanca Carne beach,
Where police discovered this Cadillac Escalade
as you can see behind me...
At 6 A.M. this morning, the inside
of the car was drenched with blood.
But as of yet,
no bodies have been found.
How was that?
Was it good?
Ok.
- Cut.
- Cut.
- Yeah, I'll talk.
- No, you're not gonna talk.
God, you're hot.
- Cut
- Cut it.
I had her on all fours,
just tappin' that ass.
Has nothin' to do with tonight,
but, boy, that was fun.
Hey, everybody, thanks
for comin' to Hella Burger.
Hope you had
a Hella nice time.
Now, get the
fuck outta here!
---
Stream Full HD Movies & TV Shows On The Plex
Yo, Bruce-O...
Where we goin', bro?
Motherfuckin' Hella Burger, yo.
Make sure we get a double chili cheese
all up in here, nigga.
Mmm...
Oh, My God.
Like, double chili cheese?
Yeah!
Yo, check this shit out, yo.
Hey, yo!
- Yeah!
- Hahaha!
- Shit!
- Fuckin' holy throwin', bro!
- That's how I roll!
- Yeah!
Hi, I'm Horny the Clown.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try
our jalapeño cheese sticks?
They're only 99 cents
with any order.
Yo, we don't want no motherfuckin'
cheesy dicks, clown boy!
Can I fuck your whore, wigger?
Yo, what the fuck did you just say?
Can I take your order, mister?
Yeh. Yeh, yeh.
All right, Bozo.
We want uhh...
4 chili cheese Hella Half Pounders.
- And I want a milkshake. Chocolate.
- Ooh.
Yo, you bustin' out your tummies
as it is, booty quake.
You wanna die, bitch?
Are you dissin' us
in there, grease spot?
What the fuck did you just say?
You want fries with that?
Yey, yeh, yeh. Does the pope
shit in the woods, nigga?
- Yo, how 'bout I go show Jackoff-In-The-Box wassup?
- Yeah
Yo, Tony, I don't think
that's a good idea.
Tony!
Do you want to make it Hella Huge
for an extra 3 bucks?
Or Hella Normous for an extra 5?
Hell, no!
Say that fuckin' shit to my face!
Where the hell is he?
Anybody here?
Hey, clown boy!
Yo, I want to talk to you!
Bitch!
Yo, clown boy.
Clown boy.
Come out, wherever you are.
Oh, yeah.
You're pretty funny, right?
What, you ain't got the balls
to face me like a man? Huh?
Well, that's why you work
in this shithole, you fuckin' loser.
Clown boy!
It's your last chance, yo!
Dumb ass cracker.
Oh! I'll never eat this shit again.
Order up, bub!
Employee of the month's
'bout to fuck you up!
Yo, where the fuck
are my fries, dawg?
I ain't got all night and shit!
Yo, Tony!
Yo, I ain't playin'!
So whoever's up in here better chill
or I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass!
Yo, homes, man.
Yo, you fuckin' with me?
Ha ha..
Aaaahhhh!
Aah...aah...aah...
You want fries with that?
Uhh! Please! Don't hurt me!
My dad's rich! He'll give
you whatever you want!
Sorry, homey. That just ain't
gonna cut it!
Thank you, Cleveland!
Good night!
You rock!
Hey, that thing is worth
more than your car.
That's not saying much.
- Let's go to your room and get busy.
- Somebody's already having sex in there.
Someplace else, then.
Any port in a storm.
Patience, grasshopper.
Wait till this weekend when I'm 18.
I can vote...
Go to war...
And you won't go to jail.
Ohhh... Have you seen your ass?
How's a young hormone junkie like me
supposed to be patient?
Mind over mammary glands.
Where the hell can a girl
get a beer around here?
It's your house.
Yet none of these people
are my friends.
Ironic, isn't it?
Case in point.
Time to go clean the pool.
I don't remember inviting any
Banana Republicans to my party.
- What the fuck?!
- Jesus Christ!
- What's this bullshit?
- Hahaha!
Mmm...
What up, man?
Dude, that party still banging?
Nah. 5-0 just rolled up.
Shit as dead as Nixon.
I am so busted.
I have something that'll
make you feel better.
Val, nothing is going to
make me feel better
About facing certain death
when my parents get home.
I stand corrected.
Holy shit, man.
Check this out.
Ooh, what is it?
It's my mom's from back when
she and my dad were weirdo hippies.
What does it do?
Channels the spirit world and shit.
Oh, come on, that's bullshit.
You know those things don't work, Mac.
Dude. Shut the hell up.
Those things have been around since,
like, the Roman Empire. Ok?
Not only do those things work,
but a lot of people,
My vegan, clairvoyant, witch mother included,
think that they're dangerous.
Yeah, dumbass. Sayin' shit
like that is askin' for trouble.
Might piss it off
and call up a demon.
Or Charles Manson.
Dude, we could dial up Marilyn Manson
With this shit? Let's get it on!
I saw one of these in The Exorcist.
Linda Blair used it, you know, right before
she diddled herself with a crucifix?
Ooh.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I love that part.
Yummy.
You would.
Let's try it.
Hmm?
- I'm game. What do we do?
- Mmm?
All right.
Put your hands out like this.
Gently touch the edge
of the planchette.
Okay. Now, everybody,
clear your minds.
Oam
Okay, yo, this is not yoga class.
Bitch, I'm clearin' my mind.
That shouldn't take long.
- All right.
- Now. We ask it a question,
And it says, like, yes or no,
or it spells something out.
Well, who asks the questions?
I'll bet is has to be a--a virgin.
Oh, then I guess
it has to be Mac.
Screw you, sluts.
Ask a fuckin' question already!
Okay.
Um...
O great spirits...
We...Ask thee to...
Come to us... In...
All your splendor.
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
Oooh! shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
I think I can hear the spirits.
- Ohh, dude!
- Ohh!
Come on!
- Disgusting!
- Whatever.
Fuck it. Party's over, guys.
Oh, come on! It's only...
2:30. Shit.
- I'm Out. Catch you guys later.
- Bye.
Damn. Time flies on the chronic.
Weed warp, dude.
Oh, totally.
- You makin' a booty call?
- This bitch is a sure thing, too.
Dream on.
Okay...
- Hi.
- Hi.
So, what were you gonna ask it?
Um...
to predict the future.
But I already know you're gonna
abandon me when we graduate.
And I'll die...
Fat... Alone...
And Republican...
In Orange County, which is pretty much
worse than going to hell.
Mackenzie, I have
to go to New York.
You know it's impossible
To do anything cool in SoCal.
Besides, you got into Berkeley.
You don't want to fuck that up.
I want to go with you.
What the hell am I gonna get
out of college besides a freakin'... stalker.
Or a designer drug addiction?
Hmm?
O masterful spirits...
What is going to happen
to our pathetic little lives?
Did you just see?
N...1...
K...L...
P...
L...8.
I don't get it.
N, 1...
K, L...
P, L...8.
There it is again.
Tiffa, wake up.
Where's Tony?
Dude, those fuckin'
jerks just left--
Aaahhh! Aaahhh!
Oh, my God!
What?! What the fuck?!
What the...?!
We gotta fucking get outta here!
Fucking get out!
What?!
Aaaahhhh!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
What time'd you guys find the car?
Uh, we rolled up about 6 A.M.
And besides the obvious, did you notice anything
out of the ordinary? Uh, anything at all?
No, not really.
There was a song
playing' on the stereo.
That's not out of the ordinary.
Bunch of kids partyin', Numb nuts.
What was the song?
Highway to Hell.
Styx. Paradise Theater. Great album.
Mmm. That'd be AC/DC, sir.
Sergeant... I was rockin' it while
you were still shittin' yourself, so...
Dwayne... It was AC/DC.
Hey, Janet, I want you to take the truck,
Get it to the chop shop ASAP. All right?
What, you guys don't have somewhere to be?
Probably want to get it out
of the salt air, huh?
Calcium chloride ions build up,
break down the prints on the paint faster.
Yeah, I saw that episode of CSI too, Dwayne.
No. Actually, I just want to get it
outta here before the press comes--
I'm on the scene with detectives
Chase and Crackers
Of the Blanca Carne Police Department.
Yeah, actually, it's Crockers.
- No. We have no comment. You know what?
- C-R-O-C-K-E-R-S.
You need to clear this
crime scene right now.
Right now. Clear the crime scene.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'll talk.
You're not gonna talk, Dwayne.
You think Barella can do it again this year?
Listen, if Jumba's gonna regain the form
that won him the world title in '05
And take down points, Leader McMillis,
He's gotta spend more time..
A $400 noise citation?
And you have to appear in court?
Whatever possessed you?
Mom, it was just a little get-together
for graduation that got out of hand.
Relax, Marcia.
I mean...
You know how kids are.
Hell, I remember in the day
- We used to--
- Bill, please.
Do not encourage Mackenzie's reckless behavior.
Mom, you're overreacting.
How do you expect me to react?
I mean, you trash the house,
embarrass us in front of the neighbors,
And to top it all off, you
lose your brand new camera.
Mom, it was just one party, and
my camera's probably around here somewhere.
All right, kids.
How do you like your burgers?
Well done, please.
Bloody as hell, Mr. Carpenter.
Same here, Mr. C.
Outstanding choice.
How 'bout you, Mac?
Flesh-free, dad.
Oh, sweetie, it's a beautiful piece of meat.
Not as beautiful as when it
was mooing in some pasture.
There was a time when my
hypocrite parents wouldn't touch meat.
So much for the old flower child image.
Well, you know what they say.
If you're 20 and you're not a Liberal,
you don't got a heart.
And if you're not Republican
when you're 50, you got no money.
Selling out the sixties like
the rest of the Baby Boomers.
Oh, check this out.
I love this.
Watch.
It's great.
True, pony is strong again.
Jack Benjamin here.
Try my new Hella Monster chili burger.
It's one Hella burger.
Good afternoon, I'm Anita Hill.
A predawn tragedy has hit
this quiet community of Blanca Carne.
I'm here at Blanca Carne beach,
Where the police discovered this
Cadillac Escalade at 6 A.M. this morning.
The inside of the car
was drenched with blood.
But as of yet, no bodies
have been found.
Hey! Hey, you guys,
come check this out.
Hey, man, that's Brandon Meek's ride.
Dumb-ass wigger probably got his
cap peeled back by some real gangbangers.
Oh, my God. Dad, rewind that part.
Wait. Stop.
My God.
This is so trippy.
- What are you gonna do?
- Nothing.
Don't you think we should tell someone?
No way, they'll either think we're stoned
or had something to do with it.
Yeah, and let's hope the police
don't find out they were at the party.
Oh, great!
They were here?
Yeah
You know... Fish is right.
Take this secret to the grave. Okay?
Besides, it was just probably
a weird coincidence, anyway.
P.A.: Attention, Seniors.
Senior blood drive is this afternoon
at 3 P.M. in the gym.
Don't forget to bring your
permission slips from home.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Wanna come over tonight?
I can't. I'm way behind
on my yearbook photos,
And... my camera's still missing.
Someone must've stolen it.
Let's find out. Did Mac's
expensive camera get jacked?
Hmm. How 'bout this? Since Mac
is turning 18 this weekend...
Will I finally get to tap
that barely legal ass?
- Ugh!
- Ohh!
Is Fisher Kent a hopeless
perv with shit for brains?
Yes.
I gotta get to class.
- Ok.
- Later.
Bye.
Mmm...
Should I... go to class or
get baked in the bathroom?
Who are you?
Why are you doing this?
It's about time.
What's with the radio silence today?
- Sorry, I'm a little freaked out.
- What's wrong?
I think I might be losing it.
- Yeah? So, what else is new?
- Knock it off. I'm serious.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, listen...
Why don't you come over tonight?
We can do some girly shit,
and you can check out my new ink.
Ohh...Shit. I forgot.
What'd you get?
- Oh, I'm not telling.
- Is it fly?
Oh, girlfriend, it's superfly.
TNT.
Listen, I gotta jam, but
I'll call you later. Ok?
Hello?
Hello?
Writin' one of your famous Left-Wing, radical,
anti-establishment articles for the paper, are you?
Oh.
Yeah. Um...
After the Fascist editorial staff
censors it, it'll be more like
a tabloid horoscope.
How you doin' Lenny?
Good.
Good.
Ahh, I got the hemorrhoids
something' fierce. They're burnin'!
- God, they burn.
- Hey, Lenny, um...
You know... I would love
to chit chat with you,
But, Um... actually,
I got a lot of work to do.
Oh. me, too.
Me, too.
I gotta go pull a brown gator
that's cloggin' up the staff shitter.
Now, I come... 'cause I
got a present for you.
Oh, my God!
My camera!
Lenny, where did
you find this?
You don't wanna know.
Thank you!
Hmm.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
My God.
- Say "cheese"
- Aaahhh!
Aah! Aah!
Hello, Mackenzie.
Beginning to get
the picture?!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Where do you think
you're goin'?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ooh!
Aaahhh!
Hahahahaha!
Aaahh!
This party's just getting
started, girlfriend!
Aaahhh! Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
P.A.: Attention.
P.A.: Attention, students.
Blanca Carne High School
lunch menu for Friday,
April 12...
Val Carbonara!
Val!
No!
No!
No! No!
Please, God,
No! No!
Ohh!
No!
Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
Aah!
Uhh!
Fuck!
Mackenzie, I'm lonely.
You know you want my horn dog
in your hot little buns.
I'm calling the cops!
You're not gonna be lonely
When you're getting gang-raped
in your prison cell every night!
Heh heh heh!
No one can help you.
You're my girl now.
And I'm horny!
Aah! Aah!
Oh, Lenny, please help me!
Aaaahhhh!
Aah! Aah!
It's time to double
your pleasure.
Get two orders of my triple-X
Hella-Hot Wings for the price of one.
Now, that's a money shot.
How many times do I
have to tell you?
It was a 7 foot Horny the Clown
chasing me with a meat cleaver.
I can't believe you guys think Lenny
did this. That's insane.
Mr. Schwartz had an
extensive criminal record.
He also had your camera, which was stolen the night
Brandon Meeks & his friends disappeared.
Not to mention he offed himself.
Textbook murder/suicide scenario.
- So that's it, then?
- Yeah. For now.
Lenny couldn't find his ass
with both hands.
Explain to me how he could
possibly pull this off.
Is he a fucking magician
or something?
Mackenzie, just try to
calm down, honey.
Sweetheart, I think it's time for you
to go home and get some rest.
We'll take it from here.
- You don't believe anything I've told you.
- Whether we believe you or not is irrelevant.
We have very little physical evidence
to back up your story about Val.
No clow suit, no microwave.
Hello! The guy gave me Brandon Meeks'
license plate number before he disappeared.
And the exact description of Val's
tattoo before she died.
What? Huh?
The guy with talking board
games and magic balls?
Let me ask you somethin'. Do you
do any kind of drugs, Ms. Carpenter?
- Up yours, detective Crackers.
- Ok, it's Crockers, young lady--
- Crackers.
- Detective, our daughter does not do drugs.
- Do I need to call our lawyer?
- I'm outta here.
I'm sorry.
Ooh!
- Relax. I come in peace.
- Oh, shit.
You try and relax with
Ronald McStalker on your ass.
I'm sorry about Val.
I can't believe she's gone.
This whole thing is
so fucking bizarre!
- Who would do something like this?
- Better yet, how?
- He must be psychic or something.
- No, it's more than that.
- He knows us.
- Wait, what the fuck do you mean?
- He's watching.
- Hey, take it easy, Mac. All right?
- Star's about to lose her shit.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
I've already lost
my shit.
What I want to know is, what's this
got to do with Horny the Clown?
I grew up with that
lovable son of a bitch.
It's like finding out Captain Kangaroo's got
pieces of Mr. Green Jeans in his freezer.
Mr. Benjamin.
I'm detective Chase.
This is my partner,
Detective Crockers.
- Blanca Carne Police Department.
- What can I do for you?
Well, we have reason to believe that
the perpetrator of the recent homicides
may have been wearing a
Horny the Clown costume.
- Well, Chase and Crackers...
- Yeah, it's Crockers.
That's what I said.
Please, why don't you join me in my office.
Maybe we should discuss it there.
Oh, those poor kids.
Has the press found out
about the clown suit?
No, we have a press
blackout on this case.
'cause I've got thousands of those
damn things in circulation.
I mean, for commercials
and whatnot.
If one went missing,
I'd never hear about it.
Don't worry, Jack, yes. This will
not hurt your business in any way.
Do you know a man by the
name of Lenny Schwartz?
Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.
Do you think he stole the clown suit?
Well, w-we're not at liberty
to discuss that--
Police business and all.
You understand.
We found Hella Burger bags
in the first victim's car.
With your permission, we'd like
to see the security tapes
from both Blanca Carne restaurants
the night they disappeared.
I wish I could help you out,
but those cameras are just for show.
I guess I'm too cheap to buy a
real system, but don't tell anyone.
Thank you for your
time, Mr. Benjamin.
You think of anything,
you give us a call.
Whoa!
The original Horny!
I remember him. Wonder who
that lucky little shit was.
My son.
Ok. Ok. Uhh...
Is he still bein' Horny--
D--playin' Horny?
Archie? No. He hasn't done
that since he was a kid.
He's um...
Passed away now.
Oh. Well the new one's
got some shoes to fill.
Hey, could I get your
autograph, Jack?
- Of course, yeah.
- Right... there.
- Detective.
- No words. Just the name, huh?
- It's an autograph, Crackers.
- A-actually, it's Crockers.
- Like I said.
- Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Benjamin.
- Lot of people make that mistake.
- All right, here we go, Dwayne.
Just take it outside.
- Aah! Oh, you bastard!
- You knew I was comin' over.
What the hell are
you listening to?
Oh.
Highway to Hell. Tryin' to see if there
are any backwards, satanic messages on it.
It was playing in Brandon Meeks'
Escalade when they found it.
- What?
- You know, like in all those old 70s songs?
Try to see if there's
some kind of clue in it.
Mac, all that backwards, satanic
message stuff is bullshit.
That's not
what I read.
Jesus! There are 7 backwards messages,
and all of them are about Satan?
See? So, along with finals,
and being old enough for the draft,
which will happen,
Now I got the Prince of Fuckin' Darkness
to worry about. Fisher!
- Put that down and back away.
- Sorry.
Mmhh...
Mmm...
Why don't you give me
my birthday present.
- Your birthday isn't until tomorrow.
- I don't have it.
Think you do.
My parents see you come in?
Door was open.
Put on something loud
just in case.
- Honey?
- What? Go away!
Why is the door locked?
Is Fisher in there with you?
No, Mom! I'm getting dressed
for the carnival.
Oh, sweetie. You know, we'd really rather
you not go. After all that's happened.
Mom, please!
We talked about this!
This is the last big school event of the
year, and everyone is gonna be there.
Plus, I have to work the haunted
house for yearbook club.
All right, but, um...
Hi.
Are you sure you want to?
I mean, I respect your--
Uhhh...
I think we've been
respectable long enough.
I'll be damned if I'm
gonna die a virgin.
Mmm...
Mmm...
Oh, look. Tina McCandless
and Chad Baldwin.
You mean Aberzombie
and Bitch.
God, this place
is lame tonight.
Probably explains why you
losers are working here.
Are you supposed to be
scary, Fish face?
Oh, not as scary as the dockers
you have halfway up your ass, Chad.
How'd you like my foot
all the way up your ass?
I'm sure what you meant
to say was "dick."
So, um, do you and your sub-pop
want to buy, like, a ticket or what?
Uhh!
Sweet costume, Mac.
I was beginning to suspect
you were a lesbo.
Now I'm sure.
Well, as long as the gene pool is
filled with bottom feeders like you,
I have to keep
my options open.
- Ew, gross! What a fucking bitch!
- Fuck
- Who needs her?
- Duty calls!
Aaahhh.
Ohh! I told you to,
like, wait for me, Chad.
I couldn't help it.
You're just too sexy.
Yeah, right.
False start fraggin'.
Hahahahaha!
Hahahahaha!
Haha!
Hahaha!
Yeee Hahahaha!
Shit, Chad, my prada
is fucking soaked!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aaahh! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
- Aah!
- Break it up!
Welcome to Horny's Funhouse!
You oughta tell
that dude to--
Aaahh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah!
See, Fisher?!
Fast food kills, fucker.
Bill, do you have to eat the
Hella-Monster's slop... whatever burger?
It looked so
good on TV.
Oomp!
- Can we please go?
- Ohh, excuse me.
Ohhh...
Marcia?
Marcia Johnson.
Burt? Oh, my God, I
haven't seen you in forever.
Hi, it's Marcia
Carpenter now.
Oh.
Oh, sorry. Uh, this is my husband
Bill and my daughter Mackenzie.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
We were friends in high school.
Burt and I.
- Oh, so you went to Blanca Carne.
- Um, San Guano, actually.
My daughter goes to,
uh, Blanca Carne.
She's about your age, Mackenzie.
Oh! Yeah, right. Tina.
I know her.
She's a...
Terrific girl.
I just saw her at
the haunted house.
I'm working it this year.
Right!
Elvira, Mistress
of the Dark.
Um, did you hear about...
Tori Meeks' kid?
Um, Mackenzie's best friend, Valerie
Espinoza disappeared last week.
She's Grace Overstreet's daughter.
That's weird.
So... you two knew the
parents of both victims?
I better catch up with Tina.
It's good to
see you, Marcia.
- Nice meeting you.
- Oh.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
Hmm.
My God, Mac. You
gotta come quick.
- What?
- The haunted house.
It's, like, broken down or something.
I don't know and
I cannot find Fisher.
Fisher?
Hello?
Is there anyone
in here?
Anybody?
Is anyone in here?
Hello?
Is there anyone
in here?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- That was ok, bitch.
- Fuck, no!
- Aaahh!
- Aah!
Oh, my God!
Fisher! Fisher!
Fisher, are you ok?!
What? I want to
go with him.
Not tonight. Not
tonight, Mackenzie.
You need to go home, get a couple hours'
sleep, and maybe you can see him tomorrow.
Uhh...
Shit!
Oh, my God.
We got Jones over there
on the crime scene.
Forensics is hittin'
it hard, so...
But I don't know. I mean,
we're supposed to buy this shit?
Hey, where do you
think you're goin'?
- I'm here to see my friend, Fisher.
- Yeah, well, there are no visitors allowed.
I have to see him.
Fisher!
Listen, cool it,
you little brat!
Take your hands off
my daughter, sir!
- Mom, what are you doing here?
- You can let her go.
You two, come with me.
Mackenzie.
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
I could ask you the same question.
Why are cops guarding Fisher's room?
You can't possibly think that
he's responsible for this.
I have two more missing kids on my hands,
and Fisher is my only eyewitness.
One of them is Tina
McCandless, isn't it?
- How do you know that?
- Same way I knew about the others.
- This time--
- Uh-uh. You stop right there.
If I try and check one of your possessed
toys into evidence, they'll have my badge.
- Why won't you believe me?
- How do you know I don't?
Because the lynch mob is gatherin' around
Fisher with their torches and pitchforks.
We're just questioning
him at this point.
Don't give me the same line of
bullshit you're giving the press.
Mackenzie, calm--
I'm sorry.
Mackenzie?
Mackenzie?
Mackenzie.
Would you please
talk to me?
Are you ever planning
to tell the police
that the parents of all the
victims are your old buddies?
What's that got to do
with anything?
You're joking, right?
Mother, it's a
very definitive pattern.
That's what it's got
to do with everything.
It's more like an awful
coincidence, Mackenzie.
Mother...
I know you're not as stupid as you've been
pretending to be for the past few years.
Don't talk to me
like that, Mackenzie.
Then you start
talking to me!
Oh, you are so
closed off!
But I know there's something
eating you up inside.
I can see it
in your eyes.
Yes, well, I'm
worried about you,
And I wish that the
police knew something.
They don't know shit!
But you do!
I don't know more than anybody else,
and I resent the accusation that
I'm withholding information.
Thou doth protest
too much, mother.
Mackenzie, can we please
talk about this at home?
I am not interested in talking
to someone who doesn't care enough
about Fisher to speak up and refuses to
accept the fact that I could be next!
Fine.
The girl working the funhouse didn't see
anyone else but Fisher Kent go in.
That was right before
my daughter was taken.
Why would he want
to hurt Tina?
I don't know! Why don't you
do your job and go ask him?!
I already have.
But right now... I have
some questions for you.
You knew Marcia Carpenter
in high school, right?
Yes.
What about Tori Meeks
and Grace Overstreet?
Yeah, so what?
All of the missing children are the
sons and daughters of your friends.
- Doesn't that strike you as odd?
- I--I don't understand.
Why would someone dressed as Horny the
Clown want to hurt your children?
Um... uh...
I have no idea.
Well, that's a lie,
and you know it.
Mr. McCandless, your
daughter is missing.
And if you don't help me,
I may never find her.
I don't even know
where to start.
Try starting from
the beginning.
Huh?!
What--
What the hell's
goin' on in here?
You better not be tryin'
any shit with me, boy.
Your daddy might've brought you in
this world, but I'll take you out.
You gonna eat that?
Oh, hell yeah.
Your balls are showin'.
Detective Chase,
it's happening!
Aaahh!
- Oh, Fisher! What the fuck?
- Shh!
Let's get outta here.
Where do you wanna go?
You can't go home.
I can lay low with
Van for a while.
What do you
want to do?
I have to figure out how my
mom and her friends are connected.
It's obvious he intends
to whack us all.
Maybe he only
wants revenge.
Most parents, mine excluded, of course, would
rather die than see their kids get killed.
What the hell could a bunch of pasty, O.C.
socialites have done to piss him off like this?
"See you at 4:20."
You know anyone with
a "4:20" tattoo?
I bet it's not a tat.
This fucker's into variety.
Hold on a sec.
- Yo, Van, what's up?
- Dude, you're on the news.
Hey, do you know anybody
with a "4:20" tattoo
Or, a board graphic or
something with 4:20 on it?
Yeah, 4:20 Boys.
Uh, Chuck Taylor's group.
Oh, right!
Those fags!
Uh, thanks, man.
I'll call you back.
Snap.
4:20 Boys.
Hey, look, stop
hoggin' it.
Yeah.
Fuckin' burnouts! Always came in
last at the local team events.
This guy, Chuck Taylor, tried
to steal my deck once.
Oh, my God. That's my mom's
high school boyfriend's name.
- Are you serious?
- The legendary Charlie Taylor.
- Where we goin'?
- While you lay low with Van,
Marcia and I are gonna
have a "come to Jesus."
- Hey, fuckers.
- Huh?
Let's hit the Fun Space.
It's so necessary.
All right, whatever.
Hey, kids! Welcome to the
Hella Burger Fun Space.
This Fun Space is for
kids 12 and under,
So make sure your
folks are here.
Hahahahaha!
All right, buddy
Here's your Little Devil combo,
You little devil.
Well, all right, then.
Thanks for comin' in.
You guys have a
Hella nice day, then.
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Hoo Ha Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Whoa!
Ow!
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try
our Horn Dog Corn Dog combo?
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Heh Heh Heh!
It's only 2.99.
No, thanks... Robbie.
I'll take three number 4s,
Hella-Normous,
2 orders of Inferno Fries,
Double Chili, Double Cheese,
And 4 Chocolate Shakes in the
Prince of Darkness collector cups.
Hungry.
That'll be 26.50.
Thanks.
And, uh... the Horn
Dog's on the house.
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Heh Heh Heh!
Come to my house.
Excuse me a minute.
It's time to rock!
Uhh! I'm ok.
I'm ok. I'm ok.
This Play Space is for
children 12 and under!
Can't you read the sign?
Suey! Suey!
You pig!
You--you--you don't want
to dance with me, Shirley!
Listen, I got your number, cucumber!
That's it!
I'm callin' the authorities.
You--you--
You better control your friends
or they're gonna end up in the hoosegow.
The what?
Just get them out of
the Play Space, ok?
Whatever.
Where's your shitter?
Language.
The ladies' room is
around the corner. Ok?
Heh Heh Heh!
Heh Heh Heh!
Oh, in the mouth.
Hahaha! Oh...
Did you say somethin', bro?
Nah, you just fraggin' stoned, bro.
Yes, I am.
Heh heh heh!
Having fun, kids?
Hey, fatass, where's our food?
He probably ate it.
And Carrie, too.
You'll get your food
as soon as your mama
takes my dick out
of her mouth, bitch!
Come out here. We'll show you
who the bitch is, pork chop!
Yeah, you bubble-nose motherfucker.
Time is up, son.
Did someone say "pork"?
Heh heh.
Chop!
- Oh...
- Shit!
Don't hurt me, man.
Hurt ya?
Heh heh heh
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm just gonna
bash your brains in.
I'm gonna bash 'em
right the fuck in!
Aaahhh!
All work and no play
makes Horny a dull boy.
Aaahhh!
Ohh! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Ohh! Oh, my...
I'm on the scene of what appears
to be yet another grisly murder
In what appears to be the most
heinous case of serial murder...
Mackenzie! Where the hell
have you been?
Your father's been driving
around looking for you.
We've been worried sick!
Not as worried as Charles Taylor's
gonna be, I'll bet. Hmm?
How did you...
Mackenzie?
What are you
looking for?
This.
I could take it to
detective Chase, if you want
Maybe you'll talk to her.
Hmm?
I'm so scared.
Why would someone...
want to murder the children
of your friends?
When I was young...
I did something terrible.
I had this... crazy
group of friends.
And none of us went
to the same schools,
But we used to hang out
together in the Summers.
My old boyfriend...
Charlie Taylor
Tori Hill...
Brandon Meeks' mom.
Burt McCandless, the man
you met at the carnival.
And Grace...
Val's mom.
There was this
young man...
Archie Benjamin.
Jack Benjamin's son.
Hella Burger
Jack Benjamin?
Archie didn't have
any friends.
He was...
An extremely
strange boy.
And we loved
to torment him.
But despite our cruelty, he
was totally obsessed with me.
It got so bad that
he dropped out of school,
And he spent all his time
working with his father.
He was in every one of those
stupid old commercials.
It was his entire indentity,
his claim to fame.
But then something happened.
Archie died in a fire.
And the police said
it was an accident.
But it was no accident.
How do you know?
Because we killed him.
It was the night of his 18th birthday,
and he'd sent me an invitation.
Happy birthday. Archie.
But we just laughed and
used it to roll joints.
Charlie hated him because
of his crush on me.
And so he convinced everyone
that we should crash Archie's party.
And play a prank
on him.
Aah!
Archie died...
In that fire.
The police always thought
it was an accident.
And you...
Your friends, you
never told anyone?
No.
We were terrified of getting into trouble.
And we wanted so bad to
believe it wasn't our fault.
But deep down,
I knew that it was.
And now...
Now we are paying
for our sins.
You're paying?
Hardly, mom.
Last time I checked, the
crosshairs were on my head.
And my 18th birthday
is tomorrow.
I won't let anything
happen to you.
I'm calling detective Chase.
I want you in protective custody.
I am not putting
my life in their hands.
They have no idea
what they're dealing with.
I will tell them
what we did.
It's Jack Benjamin. He's taking
from us what we took from him.
Ohh...
It's not Jack Benjamin,
can't you see that?
It's Archie.
Mackenzie, where are you going?
I'm going to talk to Jack Benjamin,
The one person who might
be able to stop him.
Shh. Shh Shh Shh.
Ok, what the hell is
all this crap, Rambo?
It's insurance, man.
check this shit out.
If we find Horny, I got just about
everything we need to kill his clown ass.
A plastic tent stake?
Yeah, well, um...
they didn't--
They didn't have any wooden ones
at the Army Surplus store.
What am I gonna do?
Ok, he's not a
vampire, fuck-wad.
Yeah, man. If you think
a Ghetto Paint-By-Numbers Jesus
is gonna stop him,
you're fuckin' smokin' crack.
Hey, fuck you, guys.
At least I came prepared.
I mean, we could be dealin' with
fuckin' anything here. Right, Mac?
That's why I brought
the silver bullets.
- Oh, shit!
- Where the hell did you get this?
It's my dad's from when
he was in the Army.
Do you know how
to shoot this thing?
How hard can
it be, right?
Fisher: Shit.
What's this?
Bit of courage.
Yeah, pass that shit over.
All right, Fish and I are gonna go try and talk to
Mr. Benjamin while you guys scope out the garage.
- The garage?
- You know, we need evidence.
Psycho killers usually
keep shit in the garage.
Body parts in freezers,
that kind of thing?
All right, meet back
here in an hour. Cool?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Cool.
Shit, what if he's
really in there?
Ok, grow some
fuckin' balls, Nancy.
I'm supposed to be
the chick here, remember?
Let's just split up.
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
Oh, come on.
You wanna get outta
here fast or what?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Ok, so, you go check out the backyard,
and meet me in the garage. All right?
All right.
Well... peace, bitch.
Yes, I know Jack Benjamin
is a pillar in the community, judge,
but I assure you this is not
a frivolous search warrant.
Yes, I can
establish motive.
His son was killed by the
parents of the missing children.
And he lied to
us about it.
It's all in
my report.
Yes. Yes, thank you,
your honor.
Ok, G.I. Joe.
All you need now is the
Kung Fu grip and you're all set.
Detective Chase.
Mrs. Carpenter, take a deep breath.
Calm down.
Well, how long ago
did she leave?
Ok.
Jack. Oh, Jack.
Wake up!
Our guests are
here, daddy.
It's party time.
Jesus, this guy's made a killing
off that fuckin' slop.
Over 5 billion killed.
Holy shit.
Archie's room.
Greg Brady has got
nothing on this guy.
Well, this
explains a lot.
- No shit.
- Mmhh.
What the fuck
was that?
Hahahaha!
What the hell
are you doing?
I think it's tryin'
to tell us something.
Have a Hella nice day.
Please don't
do that anymore.
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
Hahahaha!
- Huh, it's midnight.
- Yeah? So?
So... it really
is my birthday.
This is what
he's been waiting for.
My mother killed him on his 18th
birthday, and he's gonna kill me on mine.
Shit.
Um, let's get
the fuck outta here.
Hey, Star!
I--I've found a freezer in here.
Did you check this out yet?
Oh! Fuck!
Fuck! Star!
Get your ass over here!
God.
Oh...my God...
Oh, my God!
Relax.
She's just chillin'.
Ya got a lot
of guts, kid.
Uhh! Oh...
- All clear.
- Wait, wait!
Wait.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Little pigs, little pigs,
let me come in!
Let's do this thing.
All right. You check the garage, and then
you recon with me back in the house.
Done... and done.
Aah!
Uhh!
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh!
Unhh!
You eyeballin' me, boy?
Oh...fuck. Fuck!
Crockers, what the
hell was that?
Nothin'! All clear.
It's cool.
Sweet Jesus!
Ohhh... God!
Fuck me.
Chase, we got two unidentified bodies
out in the meat freezer here.
One male, one female.
Both, uh--both--
both, uh...
Both late teens.
All right, well, you call for backup,
and then you get your fat ass up here.
Roger that.
Don't move, motherfucker!
- He's gonna kill me!
- Who's gonna kill you?
Archie! He's here.
There is nobody here, sir.
You are under arrest.
Aaahh!
Aaahh! Aaahh!
Aaahhh!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhh!
Aaahhh!
Aah! Mmmhhh!
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
- Aah!
- Surprise!
Yeh heh heh heh heh!
Heh heh heh!
What's wrong?
Don't you like
surprises?
Mmhh!
Aah! Aaahhh!
Well, you got
it wrong.
No one can
hear you scream.
What do you want!
For your 18th birthday,
it'll be as special as mine.
But you're lucky. All of
your friends showed up.
- Where's Fisher?
- He wasn't invited!
Aah!
This is a little party game
your mother taught me.
Aaahhh!
Aaahh!
Aah!
Aah! Aaahh!
Aah! Aah!
Aaahhh!
Help me! Help me!
Aah! No!
Aah!
Aaahh!
- Help me! Aaahh!
- Make a wish.
Get the fuck away from her!
It's between you and me, Archie!
Aaahh!
Oh, my God! Please help me!
Get it off!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Mom!
Uhh! Ohh!
Now I'm gonna give your daughter
an extreme fucking makeover!
Where were we?
Heh Heh Heh Heh.
Heh Heh Heh.
Heh Heh Heh
Heh Heh Heh
Huh?
Aahh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Mom! Mama!
Come on! Get out!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aaaahhhh!
Aaahhh!
Ohhh!
Fast food kills, fucker.
Man, this reminds me
of that Henderson case.
Remember that one?
Where that chick stuck that 12-gauge
up that guy's ass and just let 'er rip?
But, good God, this is
10 times worse than that.
Oh, this is one ugly
son of a bitch right here.
Can we I.D. the
guy wearing it?
Well, all the bodies are
accounted for except for his.
Nah. There's gotta be
some sort of--
Just take it to the station
and get it printed, Dwayne.
Today.
Let's go, Kimosabe.
Mackenzie.
We need to talk about Fisher.
I know.
He's dead.
Fisher is alive.
What?
He's in the hospital.
But I want
to prepare you.
He's in critical condition, and the doctors don't
know if he's gonna make it through the night.
Mom, mom, we have to go now.
I have to go see him, ok?
Ok, sweetheart, ok.
We'll go right away.
Your father should
be here any minute.
We'll go right away.
It's ok.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
Oh. I'm just glad
this whole thing is over.
I'll meet you
up there, ok?
I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over.
I'm here to see Fisher Kent.
Detective Chase called ahead.
You must be Mackenzie.
Right this way.
It was touch and go for a while,
but I think he's--
Oh, my God.
It's not over.
"Today." That fuckin' Chase.
What a bitch.
I'd do her, though.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like to try our new
Purgatory Pepper Jack Poppers for 99 cents?
Nah. I'll just have your
Beelzebro Barbecue chicken sandwich,
And two orders of your Hella Hot Wings.
One extra spicy, one triple X.
11-8-25, Code 6. 105 North Avenue 52.
Want fries with that?
Say again?
I said, do you want
to die, fat ass?!
What the hell?
Arrrhhh!
- Aaahhh!
- Have a Hella nice day!
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I've seen some
nasty shit before.
I mean, I had dysentery,
but this takes the cake, man.
Oh! this is the original Horny.
I remember him.
Horny the Clown.
Horny the Clown.
Maybe Horny's a stoner.
Think he wants to get high with us?
Ohhh..
You bitches want some grub?
Oh.
Welcome to Hella Burger.
Would you like
to try our..
Beelzebro Barbecue
chicken sandwich...
With chili cheese
Hella half-pounders...
Inferno fries, double chili,
double cheese...
Hella hot wings.
One extra spicy, one triple X.
A little Devil combo.
Horn Dog corn dog
And four chocolate shakes in the
Prince of Darkness collector cups.
Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah!
Ohhh...
Aaaahhhh!
- Do it again?
- Let's do it again, yeah.
We need another one.
Still rolling.
- Are you set?
- Set.
Do you want me
looking at the camera?
Doin' all right?
Aaaahhhh!
No!
Ow!
- Hahaha!
- You ok?
- Oh, jeez louise.
- Cut it.
Oh, if only there was one person
with more motivation and pencis pen...
Ok.
I'm sorry.
Cutting.
I'm on the scene of
yet another grizly murder
In what appears to be
the most heinous--
M-- all right? No.
Ok? That's all right?
We'll continue to run?
Yes. Ok, Christine.
Ok, right.
Ready?
Ready.
Ahh...
Aren't you ready?
Come on.
Ok.
Hi, I'm Anita Hill.
A predawn tragedy has struck this
quiet community of Blanca Carne.
I'm here at
Blanca Carne beach,
Where police discovered this Cadillac Escalade
as you can see behind me...
At 6 A.M. this morning, the inside
of the car was drenched with blood.
But as of yet,
no bodies have been found.
How was that?
Was it good?
Ok.
- Cut.
- Cut.
- Yeah, I'll talk.
- No, you're not gonna talk.
God, you're hot.
- Cut
- Cut it.
I had her on all fours,
just tappin' that ass.
Has nothin' to do with tonight,
but, boy, that was fun.
Hey, everybody, thanks
for comin' to Hella Burger.
Hope you had
a Hella nice time.
Now, get the
fuck outta here!