Dressed in Blue (1983) - full transcript

Several transvestite prostitutes that work the Madrid streets discuss their personal experiences. The camera follows their daily lives. The lid is also lifted on their personal histories.

Look at them, they're already there.

The police, the police!

Leave me! Leave me!




Where is this whore going?

- She's going to eat.
- No, I'm going to drink.

Where have you been, Loren?
They say you've been travelling.

Yes, I've been abroad.
Well, I haven't travelling.

- Well, you know, "She's been abroad..."
- I'm just telling you what I know.

I'm telling you the truth.

He's been in "Carabanchel
Hotel" (Carabanchel is a prison).


Tell us if it's true that you must
fuck everyone there in Carabanchel.

That's a lie.
You can fuck whoever you want.

My name is Lorenzo Arana Orellano.

I was born in 1938 in Trebujena, Cádiz.

We are eight siblings and we grew up
in a very humble family.

My mother was 48 when she became widowed.

She has suffered a lot
to be able to raise us all.

At that time, my eldest sister became a nun
at the age of 21.

She was very pretty,
but left our mum all alone.

My sister Antonia was working at that time
and his boss got her pregnant...

Villages are the worst places in the world.

There they treat and
abuse people very badly.

And my sister was very badly treated,
like in the soap opera "Ama Rosa".

People treated her very badly
and she had to leave the village.

I prefer living alone
and receive visits from time to time,

like this guy I met this last time
I've been in Carabanchel.

He has visited me but
he has nowhere to go, so I

told him to come to my
house whenever he wanted.

- Do you remember the day we met?
- How could I forget it?

Of course, you can't.

That day my mother-in-law was there.

Yes, of course.

She was there, too.

Yes, of course.

She told me about a fantastic guy
from the Canaries.

And, of course, I couldn't
know who you could be.

One day, when we were in the back yard,
he saw you walking in the street,

and told me: "It's him."

- I remember.
- Yes. And that's when I met you.

I couldn't believe
everything would be so fast.


Well, luckily... Everything turned
out well since you are a good man.

They usually say: "You can get out of prison,
but you can't get out of the cemetery."

Get it?

Yes, I do. But sometimes you
feel like you were in a cemetery.

When you are all alone and don't know if
there will be someone coming into your life...

We are eight siblings.
My eldest sister became a nun.

The next one is a dyke.

I can't deny it, I'm saying it openly.

Then comes my sister Carmen,
who is married and has five sons.

She wanted to have a girl,
but could only have sons.

Them came I. My mother
always say that I'm "a bad event".

I worked as a butler, serving
the plates, cleaning the dust.

After seven years serving that family,
I worked for the Counts of [CENSORED].

I was very well treated there,
although the Countess was very demanding

when people like the Duke of [CENSORED]...

Also, the [CENSORED].

I met the Marquis of [CENSORED].

By the way, they spoke very badly
of each other when having dinner.

I don't know why, because...

Of course, I didn't understand anything.
I just can remember once

during a dinner with the
Marquis of [CENSORED].

They were talking about
"El Lute" and I thought

they referred to the
famous one in prison.

And it turned out that it
was the [CENSORED].

They called him "El Lute".

They used to say, "The son of El Lute"...


They said, "The son of El Lute stutters".

I said to myself, "My God."
And then I told his mum, named Dora,

"Who is this Lute in this house, Dora?"

"I'm always listening
everywhere El Lute, El Lute".

- "Is he the one who is in prison?"
- "No, no, no."

"You are mistaken, Lorenzo".

"El Lute is the Duke of [CENSORED]".

"The husband of Carmencita [CENSORED]".

So, that's how I could know who
El Lute was. I also remember...

that the Countess...

said, "He's got a friend".

Because, you know, that kind of people
think that being a gay is a crime.

But she had an affair with
the Duke of [CENSORED].

And whenever she wanted,

she went to Puerta de Hierro.

She slept with him, and ate there so that
nobody could say his husband was a cuckold.

Understand? And if got to know
that you were a gay,

they fired you at once.

However, she was also a whore,

and a very corrupt person,

you know, but that wasn't a crime.
"Crimes are always committed by the poor".

If there isn't any job for humble people,

with all this unemployment,

could there be any job for us?

We are not to blame.

Those who look for us are to blame.

We need to eat, get it?

Because, as the song says, "Let he
who has not sinned throw the fist stone".

Nowadays, even the most decent women

tell their husbands
that they are working as maids.

But they don't work as maids.

They go to the Gran Vía or to the Montera
or to the Puerta del Sol

to do what they can, of course.

Or they simply go to
the bingo, spent their

money, and then they
have to justify themselves.

So, that's why they work as prostitutes.

When I'm alone at home,

sometimes I feel alone and I think,
"I'm very tired".

And I have to go to sleep very alone.

I've got nobody who loves me today.

I'm not afraid of solitude,
that's when I'm more comfortable.

I do the chores.

I've just come back from work.

I'm very happy because
I've earned a lot of money,

some 8-9 thousand pesetas.

I'm not a greedy person.
I was a bit more greedy in the past,

When I earn some 6-7 thousand pesetas,
I stop working,

because I'm very afraid of police,
as I said before.

What I fear most is when it's seven o'clock
and I have to make up and go to work.

This is my life.
I don't care about solitude.

I like being alone.

What do you want to be a woman for?

Is it for a sexual reason or what?

I think I'd feel a lot better
being a woman than being a man.

Tell us something about
your family situation.

My parents are divorced, and my
mother gets some money for this reason.

- Do they know anything about this?
- No, I haven't told them anything at all.

- They don't know.
- They don't know.

What kind of life would you like
to lead when you become a woman.

An ordinary life. I mean, I'd
like to work and lead a simple life.

What would you like to do for a living?

I'd like to work as a hairdresser.
It's what I like most.

Anyway, you'd like to
have hormone treatment.


First, we have to carry out a diagnosis,

a study of hormones and some other studies,

and, apart from go on speaking,
we're going to do a diagnosis.

That's right.

My name is René Amor Fernández.

I was born in Bruselas.

My parents lived there at that time.

They are sepatared now and my
mother lives in Asturias with my brothers.

I'm 21 and I've always felt like a woman.

Since I was a kid of 8-9 years old,

I was a bit confused.

Maybe because of my manners.

My family doesn't know anthing
about my change.

I haven't seen them for nearly two years.

We just talk on the phone or write letters.

I must tell them.

I must tell my mom what's happened to me,

that I have changed
and that I'm not the same person.

That I'm a woman now.

But I don't know how to do it.

I'm a bit scared.

Maybe one day I'll make up my mind
and write a letter to them.

I don't know why but I'm very much scared.

- Hello?
- Hello. May I speak with Mayte?

- Yes, it's me.
- A friend gave me your number.

- Yes.
- Are you alone now?

- Yes, I'm alone, you can speak freely.
- Can I visit you now?

No, you could come a bit later.
I can't righ now.

Well, it'd be better for me to go now
because I have to go to work at five.

Ok, where are you right now?

- Pardon? Ok, I'm not very far from there.
- Where are you right now?

Ok, not very far.

Could you give me your address?

I'd prefer you to come here. That way,
we won't spend any time. Understand?

- How much is it?
- It's 12 thousand pesetas for one man.

- Yes. And what is it about?
- A full service.

- What is a full service?
- It's Greek style.

What's Greek style?

- What's Greek style?
- Yes.

It's anal sex with the lady.

All right. And what if there are two men?
Would it cost the same?

No, no. It would be two ladies
and 24 thousand pesetas.

- Could it be cheaper?
- No, this is not El Corte Inglés, honey.

This is a massage
house, not El Corte Inglés.

There aren't any discounts
like in El Corte Inglés.

I mean, if we are happy with the service,
we could go frequently.

- No, no.
- A little discount.

It works this way: the service will
be worse if they get paid less money.

- As you know, cheaper things...
- Yes?

Cheaper things are worse. It costs 12 thousand
pesetas but the service will be perfect.

New clients should
be treated very well.

No, new clients should
get used to paying better,

not to being treated badly.

- All right, I'll call you later.
- All right, bye.

You can be requested to go out
to dinner with a man,

You can be requested for a lot of things.

But, most of all, you are requested
to go out, have a drink, chat, dance

and give him a massage
according to what the client pays.

I mean, Thai massage would be
more expensive than a Greek style.

The prices of massages depend on
what the client requests.

An English massage
would be a special service,

a service for sadomasochists.

It is more refined to say,
"This girl has given me a Thai massage"

than saying: "I've been given
a massage inside a bathtube".

It is more refined.

It is for more educated men.

Maybe they called this way
to give it a more select touch.

People who use these terms and
understand them are more select,

and are precesily the kind of people
who can treat themselves

to phone a girl, give her some money
or a present

in exchange of every kind of massage.

So, the prices can vary a lot
from one type of massage to another.

- How's things about your job?
- As usual, nothing new.

Meanwhile, I'll serve you a drink.

My name is José Antonio Sánchez Sánchez.

I was born in Madrid on
the 11th of August, 1962.

I'm twenty years old, I've worked a lot
and I've suffered a lot, too.

And I've starved a lot
since I arrived in Barcelona.

But, at my age,
I've got a lot of things.

More than anyone.

Jewels, clothes, houses.
It's not that I have enjoyed life.

I've been working for even 24 hours
and I don't care.

I never cared about the price at all.

I mean, you earned a
lot but don't show off, I

have earned a lot and
I have a lot of things.

This mink coat isn't worth a penny.

But could I tell you something?

- Can I tell you why I'm wearing this coat?
- Why?

Because I want to be treated
like a lady, not like a queer.

- That way you'll be treated like a queer.
- No.

When I wake up and get up,
I'm surrounded by good watches, jewels.

I wake up and go to bed that way,
surrounded by jewels.

When I wash the dishes, I'm
wearing my jewels. I don't care at all.

Shall we get up?

Are you going to have a bath?

Love is beautiful for special moments.

But love for us is very difficult.

Thanks God, I can tell you that
I live with a person I love a lot,

who probably loves me a lot more
than I love him,

and he has helped me a lot.

I've been arrested a lot of times
when I was out,

because I've suffered a lot,
and he used to say:

"You're a fool. I knew this could happen.
You're always being arrested"

But, looking at the positive side,
you can enjoy a lot of things.

There are a lot of people who love me more
being a woman than being a man.

12 thousand pesetas for the full service.

You know, a full service.

All right, bye.

Do you want some coffee?

I would have liked to have children,
it would have been beautiful.

But having children with a person
you don't really love is a wrong decision.

I think that having children with a person

who's going to suffer

because you're homosexual

is not right.

I mean, having a child just for sex,

getting the girl pregnant

and leaving that child with a lot
of problems because the father is,

in a word, a transvestite,
just like me,

doesn't bother me.

I like children, but I can't have them.
Anyway, we could adopt one in the future.

There would be no
problem in adopting a child.

I've got some friends in Portugal
and France who have adopted a child.

I think that we'll be able to adopt a child
the day when we are respected as women.

I call Tońi to my sister.

I mean, sometimes, when her
friends are around, I call her Tońi

I really prefer to call her Nacha.

I mean, I treat him like a boy,
like my brother.

But, for me, she is a woman.

I'm very proud of you.

I like you, the way you are.

I really prefer you being a woman
than being...

a thief in prison or a retarded.

Of course, I would have preferred
to have you as an older brother

to be able to tell you my problems.

I didn't notice anything
until you began to put on makeup,

I felt very happy

because I've always wanted
my older sister to be a woman.

I'm Catholic.

I'm a very strange Catholic person.

I'm not committing any crime.

When I was younger,

I was leaded by my parents.
When I got older,

I did what I really wished.

Nowadays, a priest wears street clothes.

Yes, but clothes are incidental,
you can put them on and take them off.

Of course, but you put them on
and take them off because you feel it.

Some years ago, it was unthinkable
for a priest to wear trousers.

Catholic church has always told:

"You don't need to be chaste,
but be cautious."

Are you going to face society
being a Catholic, like you say?

- You can come to church...
- Yes, of course I can.

- Women in church don't sniff you.
- Yes, they do.

- Don't you suffer because of this?
- No, I don't.

Because I completely feel like a person
who can go to church.

I don't care about what people say.

I go to church because I like or just
because I want to tell you things about me.

And I couldn't tell about those things
to any average person.

The Gods in every religion

have always gone to the man himself. In
this case, to you, who has become a woman.

Yes, I'm a man for God,

because for the Earth
I'm not a man,

not even a woman: I'm a transvestite.

I mean, I'm an absurdity on the Earth.

Something you mustn't do, someone
you mustn't look at or speak to.

It's something I'm always thinking about:

"If there isn't any person on the Earth
who can understand me,

there is someone,
or a being, I don't know how to name it,

that at least knows who I am.

The same way we could
understand witches before

or can understand
parapsychological phenomena now,

things that we didn't
understand in the past,

and those who were possessed were burnt

I think that if you transvestites

begin a strong campaigning,

you could make the church think about it.

The church is not used to this
cultural transformation.

I don't live with the church,
I live with God.

Does that calm you down?

- Does that calm you down?
- Of course it does.

I know that I'm doing things right.

All in all,
I prefer becoming an older man

with some money,
and being respected by people,

even though I've had to move
from my neighbourhood or city,

I mean, being respected as a woman,

to being an old queer.


You were very pretty.

Ugly people can't go to the places you go!

- You can hide.
- I'm ugly and old.

- Don't say that!
- They could tell me: "Get out of here!"

You've got what we all wish!


- I have to ask you a question in private.
- How's that?

Because I'm very intrigued.

- How's that?
- And I hope you won't be offended.

I'll ask you when we are all alone.

Not, now.

I know what you are going to ask her!

Where the hell has she got the dick?

I'm very sincere about these things.

Where the hell has she got the dick?

- I was staring at you for a long time.
- She's had her "door" operated.


She's had her "door"
operated and "closed it"...

I pushed it inside...

She hasn't got a dick.

- Nothing?
- She hasn't got a dick.

- Nothing?
- Nothing.

She isn't really a transvestite.

- We trick people.
- She's a woman!

I saw you yesterday and I said to myself:
"She must be a woman".

And you really very hot!

My name is
Francisco Pérez de los Cobos Ávila.

At present, I call myself Eva.

I'm 23.
I was born on the 9th of December, 1959.

I come from Hellín,
in the province of Albacete.

I come from a family of eight siblings.

Five brothers, two sisters and...
Yours truly.

I usually work as a performer.

I do impersonations
and full-frontal nudity.

And sometimes... I work as a prostitute.


As a performer, I work with other two guys.

We work at weekends.

It's not very well paid.
It depends on the place you work in.

We get paid about 30-35 thousand pesetas.

One of them is married
and has got two children.

We travel in his car.

We aren't paid for travel expenses,
we just get paid for our job.

I don't know, that's all.

Good afternoon.

- Hi, good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

We booked some rooms.


I'd been some eight or ten months
without my ID because the police tore it.

I tried to get my ID several times
but they always made objections.

Then, a friend of mine who is a lawyer
decided to come with me.

Thanks to him, I could get my ID again.
So, I was very happy with my new ID.

- Is this ID yours?
- Yes, this is mine.

All right... All right.

- Eva!
- Yes?

Tomorrow afternoon we're going to Santońa.
Are you coming with us?

- What for?
- To deliver advertising.


- Why?
- I want to go to the bingo.

If you don't waste your money,
you can live very well,

because we've got a lot of expenses.

The makeup, the clothes, gas, hotel...

We've got a lot of expenses.

Of course, I have to work as a prostitute
to be able to live well.

I'm so cold!

As a protistute, my fees are 2 thousand
pesetas in the car and 5 thousand at home.

There are people whose fees are lower,

but if you go home with a man

who doesn't mind paying more to be more
comfortable, you have to be better with him.

They criticised me a lot about my brests!

Everyone criticised me a lot!

But everyone wants the size
of Loren's breasts.

They'll remove my nut.

I'll have my breasts operated
to increase the volume.

And maybe some other tweaks.

I want to have my breasts
operated, my cheeks

and some tweaks,
but I won't have my penis operated.

I've never thought about it
but I don't think I'll do it.

That's what I want to feel fullfilled.

People who had an operation went crazy.
Think about it.

They cut your... Then what?

If they don't control it,
you've got to control it yourself.

I've got enough money but...

I've also got some friends who had
them operated and they don't...

"Tits draw more than
five yoke of oxen". And

I've been able to have
my breasts operated.

The body of a woman
who works as a prostitute

with the brain of a man
can be a money machine.

Mum, mum!
Paco is here!

Hi! How are you?

My God! We haven't
seen you for two years!

It will be two years more.

- Where is the rest of the family?
- Call your brothers!

What about Milagros?

She's coming now, too.
We haven't seen you for a long time!

Hi! How are you?

How are you?

- What about your wives?
- Hi, how are you?

What about the Christmas?

Your father had a very good
Christmas night.

He got drunk on whiskey.

I hadn't drunk for two years...

Vicente told me,

- "Have a glass of Johnny Walter".
- "Johnny Walter"???

- Johnny "what"?
- I said "Johnny Walter".

- It's "Walker"!
- So, I had two glasses and I got...

I don't remember many things
about my childhood.

I do remember I used to work
as a waitress with my sister,

I completely hid myself from her,
she didn't know anything about it.

I lived with her but I always hid myself
from her and my aunts.

At that time, I had a couple of
older brothers in Benidorm.

They used to go out and flirt
with foreign girls but I didn't want to.

I used to tell them I'd go home
but actually I used to go to gay clubs.

What are you looking at?

They told me you had your breasts operated.

- Do you like them, David?
- Very much. I like them very much.

Then don't look at me.

- Can I shoot, can't I?
- Yes.

- Have you ever had a girlfriend?
- No, never.

I once had one and now
she's my sister-in-law.

Really? Oh, my God!

You can touch if you want.

No, thank you.

They are true!

You're going to leave me out of breath.
I'm going to blush.

Your wife isn't out of breath
and she's got them smaller.

How can you know?

My mother-in-law have
them bigger than yours.

At least, the bra is bigger.

Tell me.
What do people say when I come back here?

I don't know. They don't tell me anything.
They speak to one another.

Don't you hear anything?

I don't hear anything.
They ask me and I answer them.

I saw three men in Angel's bar.


They looked like mechanics.

- In overalls.
- They were hot.

- Do you know what I told teacher Javi?
- What?

- What did your brother come for?
- He came to see my school.

- Your sister too?
- Yes.

- What a bumpkin.
- Do you know him?

I've known him since I went to school.

- Did he wear a white coat?
- Yes. The thing is...

I have changed and they don't know.

Are you still working in the theatre?

No, I work in other kind of things.

- What does "other kind of things" mean?
- Things.

If I try to explain it to you,
you won't understand.

When I work, they don't choose me.
I choose them.

I have a very good time when I work.

And I get a lot of money. I can earn
40-50 thousand pesetas in one day.

I've got many types of clients.
Rich clients and not so rich clients.

Nice clients and not so nice clients.

There are always strange people among them.

- Hi, darling, are you feeling hot?
- Hi, I'm coming for you.

- Are we going to your house as usual?
- Of course. Get on, it's very cold.

- You know, as usual.
- Of course. Come one, get on.

- Come on, girl, it's time to fuck.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

They must be very important people
because they all have got very nice houses.

You can see pictures of them
shaking hands with the King.

One of them has got a lot of pictures
of the King and him on the piano.

I mean, shaking hands.

Come on, you already know...

It's hotter in here today.
Last time I got such a cold...

Sit down, sit down.

Serve yourself a drink.

Would you mind paying me first?

Yes, of course.

But sit down, please.

- Is it all right?
- Yes, all right.

Are we going to do it
like we did last time?

- Do you want it as usual?
- Yes.

- Have a drink. I'll be ready soon.
- All right.

- Let me see.
- No, no, wait a moment.

Only this and it's over.


Open your eye!

Open it.

- I can see that you're...
- Open your eye!

I'll put it inside your eye!

I'll put something inside you...

It's all right.
Get up, I'll put on the wig.

Lee me see myself, please.

Give me the mirror.

Just a moment.

How wonderful!

- Don't you like it?
- I'm a very hot girl!


Wait a moment.

I have to brush it a little bit.

I think that the future
of a transvestite is

to earn money when young and to keep it,
and to be prudent, which I'm not.

I mean, to keep your money,
start a business and buy a house...

It's true that when you have something...

everybody loves you.
When you don't have anything...

Nobody loves you.
Imagine a 50-year-old transvestite.

I've kept some money,

and I plan to keep as much as I can

to buy a house. I mean, to be able
to say, "This house is mine".

I mean, I don't like paying for rent
a house which will never be yours.

Wait a moment. I prefer
not to have any money

to have a lot and be
always eating a sandwich.

- Wait a moment, please. Let me speak.
- When did you see me eating a sandwich?

I've seen you eating a sandwich
in the dressing room a lot of times.

Because I felt like eating a sandwich!

You just have that coat!

- You just have that coat!
- Your coat is borrowed!

She likes gossiping.
It's like a viper eating and consuming her.

Don't you think I've got money
to buy a coat?

I can buy one, two, three coats.
As many as my pussy likes buying.

- No, you haven't got a pussy.
- Well, as many as my dick wants.

Let them argue and don't interfere.

One day came a little gypsy

from Málaga

who was 18

with her character
and her hot-blooded gypsy blood

full of grace and full of beauty.

She remembers us of Isabel Pantoja.

She sang a song in her way,

with her green eyes.
Her name is Tamara!

My name is Juan Muńoz Santiago.

When I was kid, I felt myself like a woman.

I felt myself a woman with a dick.

I don't know...

And I realised that I couldn't be a man.

I always liked men,
and sleeping with them, of course.

I began dressing like a woman
at the age of 13.

Well, my mum knew it
and realised since I was a child,

because I was always with girls,
playing with them.

But my dad used to tell me,
"You have to get married."

I like speaking like women,
I never speak like men.

I mean, when I have to speak like men,
I just do it.

I'd like to have a "pińa colada".

What are you doing dressed like this?

- How do you want me to be dressed?
- Do you think this is logical?

- The way you are dressed?
- What way am I dressed?

In a very inappropiate way.
You're dressed in an inappropiate way.

- I'm scared.
- No, it's nothing about scaring.

Everone is looking at you.

- Everyone here can say the same.
- Pili wears this dress a lot of times.

But she wore it in a very different way.
Look at yourself!

- What's wrong?
- This is inappropiate!

This is inappropiate, Tamara.

You're going to ruin our image
and I don't want.

- You like arguing with me!
- No, I don't like arguing with you!

"Centauros" doesn't work this way.

I don't like be arguing with you
all the time. You are a rowdy.

I really think you like
getting into problems.

And you've got a
lot of class and culture.

No, it's not about culture, like you said.

- I'm used to this light.
- Now...

This little wig looks like my natural hair.

- When I wear it...
- It suits very well.

Look at it. It's very funny.

It's completely natural.

And I put it Pantene every night.

I wanted to be an artist.

I appeared on TV, cinema and everywhere.

I've got character,
because I'm a gypsy and I can dance.

And... I have sung and danced her songs.

Not just imitating her, but on my own way.
I like to be myself, understand?

There are places where I have to imitate
and I do it. On my own way.

I also imitate Lolita and Isabel Pantoja.

I imitate Isabel Pantoja on my own way
and dance quite a lot.

I've got a lot of character.

Do you feel yourself a
transvestite or a cross-dresser?

I'm a cross-dresser.

All right. And what is a transvestite?

A transvestite is someone like these girls
who works as a prostitute.

They aren't artists.
Are you an artist?



And she earns 20
thousands pesetas every day.

I earn 20 thousand
pesetas in just 4 hours.

Very good, darling, very good!

What do you mean?
Do you own a house? No.

You live just like me.

- I've got a flat.
- But it't not yours!

Working the streets
gives you a lot of money.

But you have to
take quite a lot of risks.

Well, you also take risks
when you go with a client.

No, no. Street is different.
We are artists.

And if a man goes with you, he knows that
he goes with an artist, not with a whore.

But sometimes they didn't pay you!
They had sex with you but didn't pay!

That's because you're worth a lot more.
They aren't.

My sister has got an amazing flat
and lives and dresses much better than us.

Look at her.
She's only 18 and has such class...

And she works in "La Ballesta".

I left home with just 100 pesetas
and the clothes I was wearing.

I've got a flat and a credit card.
You can't deny it.

I've got a great flat!
I've got a great flat!

Because she thinks about her future. But
there are others who only think about luxury.

- In dresses, in makeups...
- Could you give me fire, Toni?

What card, the ration card?

- Yes, yes.
- The pimp card!

This one here once
showed me his credit card

and told me, "For your
information, you queer!"

I had a look at it and it had 2 million.

And it turned out to be a fake!

Two millions! You?
When did you earn two millions?

That is, no wealth and no holiness.

I mean, I left her my credit card
for her to see it.

While I was sleeping, she had a look at it.

I had written a lot of zeros...

My question is:
why the fuck do they call us a "queer"?

- I love being called a queer.
- Don't you know why?


- It's a rude way.
- You, shut up.

- Listen to me!
- Let Christian speak, please.

I was in the dressing room the other day,

and a group of married couples asked:

"How much is the ticket?"

- "One thousand pesetas."
- For a queer spectacle???

And the woma in charge of the cloak room
answered: "Listen, they are artists."

"You're going to see art."
But to people we're just queers!

But the woman who didn't want to pay
is not a woman.

The woman who answered her is.

They all ultimately believe that!
They all think the same way!

- They all think the same way!
- I don't think so.

Queers were made to be laughed at.

How do you feel better,
being a man or a woman?

I've been a man and I was not comfortable.
I like men quite a lot.

And I had to have hormone treatment.

That's because
you really feel yourself like a woman.

Do you feel yourself
fulfilled or alienated?

How did you feel, fulfilled or alienated?


How did you feel before,
fulfilled or alienated?

At that time, they treated me even better.

When I was a kid, they treated me better.

And how do you see yourself?
More depressed and alienated?

Yes, I feel that way.

As a woman, they alienate you.
As a man, they open up doors.

Even though you are a queer!

There are ministers
and popes who are queers!

We all know that!
I once slept with a diplomat!

A diplomat! Married with children!
And what do you mean?

He said: "I'm with you because
you're a woman". No, I'm a man, honey!

- Would you really like to be a woman?
- No.

If they invented a drug
for not being a homosexual

anymore, would you
put that drug on you?

If I could go unnoticed, I would.

No, sorry. I mean, a drug for not being a
homosexual anymore and being a regular man.

- Being a regular man?
- A heterosexual, like society says.

She laughs because they all are uncultured.


"She's always been a misunderstood woman!"

"She's always been a misunderstood woman!
And she'd never put that drug on her!"

No, I wouldn't.

Nacho wouldn't. And you wouldn't either.
I wouldn't either.

I'd feel myself a
homosexual deep inside me.

Of course, I couldn't feel
myself a woman either.

A homosexual is the
most perfect person.

It's "this", "that" and
nothing in particular.


And the one who denies
it thinks really the opposite.

He will say "yes" because of people.

- But inside him...
- 90% of men are homosexuals.

They are even married with children.

A lot of us here have
been with married men.

And we had to put up
with it for a long time.

And why did they put up with it?
Because of this.

And it turns out that you've got
a bigger dick than theirs.

What do you like, to fuck or to be fucked?

I like the same as you.
You have to do what the client asks you.

And what if it's a man you really like?

If I really like him, I prefer
to be treated like a girl.

But if it's a client who pays me,
I really don't mind.

No, that's not true. If you like
the man, you prefer to fuck him.

What if the guy waiting for me is also
listening our conversation? He could leave.

I don't like this.
You just want to ruin me.

Your private life is just yours.

I consider myself a woman.
And I've got a flaw, which I can't deny:

a dick, not too big, but a dick.

I can't deny it. But I can't sleep
with a woman. I really can't.

If I decide to have an operation,
I'll have my throat operated.

- Wouldn't you like to get operated?
- No, I wouldn't either.

I know a lot of friends who got operated
and now they are like a furniture.

They don't feel anything. I really
like to be fucked. I mean, anal sex.

My parents hit me very
hard when I was a kid.

He wanted me to get married
and have a lot of children.

And I said, "I can't, daddy."

And then he hit me again.

They hit me very hard.

They thought... I mean,
we gypsies think in a different way.

We can't understand
that thing of homosexuality.

There are not many homosexual gypsies.

My father preferred
two prostitutes to a queer.

He used to say, "I prefer raising
two prostitutes to raising a queer."

We gypsies are very macho.

And have a look at this macho...

Sometimes, when I was home,
our family came to visit us.

I was sleeping or eating
and my parents told me to leave.

I left home before they came in.

When they had gone away,
I went back home.

So, I spent quite a lot of time alone,
making a living by myself.

Once, he hit me because
I told him that I was going to leave home.

He thought that... He
never gave me any money...

I was already working, so I
never asked him for some money.

If I would have asked him for some money,
I would have bought skirts, tight jeans...

My father never gave
me any money because he

didn't want me to buy
that kind of clothes.

So, I began working as a prostitute.

They hit me very hard, very very hard.

Once he told me,
"You're not going out today."

Yes, I have to go out.

"No, you're not going out."

"How's that?
I'm going out because I want to be free."

I started crying and I told him
that I would leave home.

And he said, "You're not leaving home!"
So, I went to my bedroom.

We both pushed the door.
My mum was very afraid.

My sister was holding my father.

He pushed the door, threw me onto the bed
and began hitting me.

He hurt me very badly.

They are like animals when they hit
but I love them very much.

You only have one mother
and she has helped a lot.

After all, I love her so much.

- Hi!
- Hi, Elena, what's up? How are you?

- I've come to see you.
- I know.

You're so pretty.
I'd like a Jack and coke.

- You're so pretty, aren't you?
- As pretty as you.

- You're also very well.
- Really?

Life goes well for me.

- How is your child? - Fine.
- And Jesús? - Fine, too. - I'm glad.

- How are your parents?
- Fine.

We haven't seen each other for a long time.

- Are you going alright?
- Yes, working a lot as usual.

Yes, and life goes
well for you, doesn't it?

Yes. I work as a performer.

You're really very pretty.
You seem very healthy.

- And quite a woman.
- Yes, of course.

- You seem very feminine.
- Really?

- I was always very feminine.
- Yes.

- Don't you think?
- Well, to a certain point.

When we met, you didn't seem so feminine.

You're right.
But, you know, life changes a lot.

At that time I was just 20.

- Hi, Jose.
- Hi, Jesús! How are you?

- I've just asked her about you.
- Look who's here.

How handsome! What's your name?

Is it your son? How beautiful!

- What you couldn't do.
- That's it! What I couldn't do!

I lent you a hand, so don't complain.

It's wonderful!

My name is José Ruiz Orejón Casado.

I was born in La Solana,
in the province of Ciudad Real

on the 8th February 1952.

I had a very happy childhood.

I was always a very well-mannered person.

So, my father loved me very much.
I was very well-mannered because...

I already felt myself a woman.
I used to play with dolls.

When I was 18, I already liked art.

So, I wanted to be an artist.

I began working in a bar, "Argüelles".

People liked me a lot.
I made a lot of friends.

I met there one of the loves of my life,

who was, and is, my wife, of course.

I got married here five years ago.

- I mean...
- Five years ago?

Of course.

I bought my wife the wedding dress.
She was so pretty.

- Did you give her the wedding dress?
- Yes, because I wanted...

I wanted to get myself noticed
because she already knew that I was gay.

So, I wanted to get myself
very much noticed. And I did it.

It was too much, I swear it.

- It's very humble, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

I was dressed like a man.

When we went out,
everybody was throwing rice at us.

I look at you
and I can't imagine you getting married.

Life changes a lot.

What would you wear
if you got married today?

If I got married today,
I'd dress like a woman.

With a white dressing
and a very long train.

- It was not right what you did.
- What did I do?

I don't know...

I was in love with you.
The proof is that I cared about you...

Well, I wasn't like I am now.

- I was a bit more...
- You were worse.

- Worse?
- Look, this is your father-in-law.

- Do you like him? Do you like him?
- Say, "It's things that happen in life".

I was born this way, but...
I had a... I'm not... I can't explain it.

- You were not like this before, José.
- The way I am now?

- People change.
- You knew I was already a gay.

I met you,
and you gave me a lot of love.

You gave me a lot of love. I was
having a very bad time with my family.

So, I met you when I was 22.

You gave me what I needed.
So, I liked you and I married you.

- But you never gave me what I needed.
- Yes, you're completely right.

- He couldn't. He really couldn't.
- Yes, she's right. You know why?

Because... I... always...

I was in love with you
but I was also going out with a guy.

- I don't know if you knew it.
- Yes, yes.

You knew it.
I always managed very well.

You never knew...
And I made love to this guy...

- But I loved you.
- In my view, you cheated on me.

Cheated on you?

Apart from the fact
that you already were a transvestite...

- I wasn't a transvestite at that time.
- Yes. Yes.

Yes, and you know that I caught you
a lot of times.


You had had to tell me before

and we've been true friends.

- But...
- If you had told me,

"Elena, here's the thing."

If you accept it, right.
Otherwise, we'll have to break up.

But you know that you behaved very badly.

Then, when I began my relationship
with Jesús,

you acted in a very bad faith.

- No, I mean...
- Yes, José, and you know it.

No, I just wanted to be with you again,
but... I never disturbed him in any way...

I'd have left you long before.

But I felt tied to your family.

I was very scared of your family.
And that's what tied me.

- My family never hurt you or anything.
- But I was scared of them.

All right. Maybe you were
very young and didn't know...

I didn't know what was to love someone
to a certain point.

- Yes, you're right.
- I never really loved you.

Yes, you're right.

And I know it now
that I really love Jesús.

My marriage failed because...
It wasn't my fault.

And I think it wasn't her fault either.

What's your name?

What's your name?

I'd have changed a
lot if I had had a baby.

Now, I don't know
very well. It's difficult.

And, you know, I
really love children a lot.

I really love them.

I've seen my brothers growing up...

I feel a bit sad at this moment

because the person who doesn't love
a child is not human.

A child is everything for a family.

When I go to my brother's,

and he is a bit angry
when coming back from work,

then his child gives him a kiss,

and so on...

I'd have loved it but now I can't.

What are you talking about now?

We were talking about our opinion
about police.


You were never arrested.
What do you think about police?

As I was never arrested,
I think they have to be respected.

I can't have a bad opinion.
If there were no police, we wouldn't exist.

I think that police is just like us.

- Your sister was in prison.
- No, she's never been in jail.

Well, at least you've been arrested.
Doesn't it hurt you?

A minister or any other person
can be arrested.

Doesn't it hurt you that she's been
arrested because she's a transvestite?

- You are just like her.
- Wait a moment.

She was in jail many times

She is a transvestite...

And because she's a whore.

I don't know. I really don't know.

They looked at her ID
and saw that she was a transvestite.

- But you know that your sister is a whore.
- Yes, I do.

She works in a very famous place.

- No, she began working in...
- In Ballesta Street.

In Ballesta Street and
in El Valverde Street.

And she worked for just
one thousand pesetas.

She's much more sluttier than us.

We get paid 5-10 thousand pesetas.
We are high-class whores.

She's a cheap whore.

- But she's also a whore.
- That's it. A whore.


I love him very much.

He's just 18.
And if he follows my steps,

but not my steps for art.
I mean, my steps in life,

if he can follow my steps in life,
which he can do, because at his age,

he's surpassed me in everything.

Well, not in everything.

He can dress very appropriately.

And I admire him.

You've got to save the money you earn,
and buy a house in the future.

For example, I never worked the streets.
So, I neved had that problem.

Maybe that's why I'm happier.
I finish my performance and come back home.

- Yes, but you know...
- I also have a drink here at home and...

Yes, but you know, I've had
a very bad time with the police,

I'm fed up with this life.
I earn a lot of money...

You can change now.

I can give you some numbers
for your performance.

You can earn a lot of money, too.
You have your drinks here...

This is my life.
I'm earing a lot of money right now...

And I want to take advantage of it...

What do you want so many dresses for?

- What do you want so many dresses for?
- Because I like being well-dressed.

All right, but you can buy a dress
of 4 thousand pesetas instead of one of 10.

- You know that when I like a dress...
- Yes.

Yes, you buy it, put it on once
and then throw it.

- I can't understand...
- You live your life and I live mine.

I just want you to be safe and go well.

I don't mind if you have lovers

as long as you behave well.

I mean, you have to behave well
with people and so on.

Oh, how beautiful!
Can't you remember this game?

I used to play it when I was a kid.

Let me, please, let me.

I love it!

This is too much!

This is my parents' restaurant.

Let's come in.

Wait a moment.
I'll get myself gorgeous.

This is my father.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

This is my mother.

- I'm glad to meet you.
- Glad to meet you.

Cristian is my guest this afternoon.
I've come with him so he can meet you.

I'm very happy to see your family together.

I haven't seen my family for 4-5 years.

- Do you usually get together?
- Yes.

Usually on Sundays, above all.

We also go hunting in the morning!

Then Master Solano here sings
twenty songs.

- Do you usually miss José?
- Yes, of course.

Don't think that we miss him so much...

I'm very happy that...
I'm very excited....

...to see the whole family together.

I can see that you all are very natural.

- Are you happy to see your son?
- Of course I am.

I'm very happy to see the family together.

How beautiful!

- My father loves me very much.
- Are you also happy to see your grandson?

- Of course I am.
- Very much, I see.

- How old are you? You seem very young.
- I'm 86 years old.

86 years old!

Three years older than me.
I mean, I'm very good for my age.

Grandmum, you were also 86 last year!

She's just like Sara Montiel.

I think she wants to be a movie star.

- Are you his cousin?
- I'm his only cousin.

What do you think about his life?

I'm very happy with him.
I like him to be an artist.

How nice of you.

I really like the way he
dresses and everything.

I'm not wearing a lot of clothes today.

When I come to see you, you know,
I don't want to seem a star.

I mean, I'm not really a star.
I'm a person just like you

who works every night.
And that's my life.

But you're really an artist.

When I come to act here in Alcobendas,

I want to take my father and my brother,
who is going to get himself noticed.

- You seem very stiff, aren't you?
- No, I'm not.

I'm not stiff at all.

- I'm always happy.
- That's good.

José talks a lot about you.

- Of course, I'm his mother.
- Come here, Miguel Ángel.

Make him some way.

- Who's this boy?
- He's my youngest brother.

- Tell Cristian how old you are.
- I'm 11.

- How old?
- 11.

He's my father's bodyguard.

- Really?
- Yes, he's the number one here.

- What's your name?
- Miguel Ángel.

Miguel Ángel.
What do you think about your brother?

- I like the way he is.
- You like the way he is.

- Have you ever seen him working?
- No.

What's that? Didn't
you see me in the bar?

Oh, yes.

- Do you like the way he works?
- Yes.

- Do your friends ask you about him?
- Yes, sometimes.

- What do you tell them?
- "He's an artist."

"He likes acting a lot.
He likes... a lot..."


- And he likes drinking!
- What? Drinking?

Drinking a lot.

I like drinking, and you know the place
I like to go to have a drink.

All right, apart from being your father's
bodyguard, you watch your sister.

- No, he watches just my father.
- I watch my father because he sometimes...

And now father is going to dedicate me a
song, a song for all the mothers in the world.

I've got a litte cold.

Never mind. We're in family,
no matter what people say.

We're in family.

Let's keep silent.


Hello. Good morning, Eva.

You've got an official subpoena
for the military service.

I mean, you have to go tomorrow
because it is a very serious thing.

- But...
- You have to turn up just like yourself.

You go to the town hall,
you go home first.

You go to the town hall and tell them...
I mean, they'll see it at once.

- They'll notice your breasts.
- I'm a bit scared.

Why scared? You didn't anything wrong.

You go home first, and tell your parents
to go with you.

Nothing will go wrong.
They'll examine you or...

There will no problem at all.

I did military service.
I did it before having my operation.

I had my operation after military service.
That's when my life was modern and happy.

Mr. Ángel Ruiz Orejón Casado?

- Are you Mr. Ángel Ruiz Orejón?
- Yes, sir.

Could I have your ID?

- Your first surname?
- Ruiz.

- Your second surname is Casado, right?
- Yes.

- Your name?
- Ángel.

- Birthplace?
- La Solana.

- Pardon?
- La Solana.

- Province?
- Ciudad Real.

- Birthdate?
- 12th of May, 1964.

- Your father's name.
- Pedro.

- Your mother's name?
- Angelines.

- Religion?
- Single.

- Religion. Catholic?
- No. - No religion.

- Marital status?
- Single.

- Can you read and write?
- Yes.

- What's your regular job?
- Artist.

Very well.
Here you are your ID.

Take off your shoes, please.


Keep your head steady.

Get near to the bar.

You can put on your shoes.

- Ángel Ruiz Orejón?
- Yes, sir.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I am.

All right, take off your blouse.

- How long have you had your looks?
- For a year and a half.

Raise your arms.


As much as you can.



You can get dressed.

Sit down.

Did you get operated?

- Are you going to do it?
- No.

- Are you planning to do it?
- No.

I couldn't stand the military service but
it was compulsory at that time with Franco.

They sent me to Tarifa.

I will never forget
when I arrived in Tarifa.

In Las Palomas island.

It was such a foggy day
that you couldn't see anything.

And that impressive lighthouse...

My world fell apart.

I can't say which place was worse.

We had to go out on the second day.

I went with another fairy
called "La pandereta".

We both turned up... completely fairy.
We had plucked our eyebrows.

The whole village looked at us.

The village looked like the Corpus Christi.

The whole village was... The Lieutenant
saw us. I can't remember his name...

Lieutenant Villalón.

He saw us, we got arrested
and they shaved our head bald.

Just because they wanted us to be men.

They said that we were a disgrace
for the Army.

So, I answered him that we didn't want
to do military service.

There was a lot of respect there.

They called you at the time of falling in.

I remember this funny fairy.

"La pandereta". They would
call him, "José Campo Ayala".

And he answered with
that voice, "Present!".

Once we had to do guard duty
by the front door.

All hell broke loose. It was the inauguration
of the statute of Guzmán El Bueno.

It was such a windy day

that I don't know how the wind
didn't blow us queers away to Gibraltar.

I remember that we left the musket
on the ground.

So, as it was very cold,
we went to have a coffee to a café.

When we got back to the barracks,
back again to the cell!

So, we spent all the time in the cell.

Imagine that Lore, or Lorenzo,
goes to work in a factory tomorrow,

and you are dressed like a woman,
and your workmates tell you:

"Lorenzo, how can you be dressed
like this?" What would you do?

- What would you do?
- Listen to me.

Go back to the street dressed
like a woman where your partners

treat you like a woman,
just like you feel.

They say that I'm very old,
that I got my breast operated.

"Look at Loren's tits."

"I'm a gypsy, illiterate".

Why? I couldn't go to school.

Because I know to behave
wherever I go, so they like me.

Not like you. They're
scolding you all the day

because you don't even
know how to get dressed.

- Who likes you?
- Nobody.

Apart from your family,
nobody here likes you.

Why not?

Of course you don't!
We're all false people and scoundrels!

You're right, Tamara.

Why such a burden that God has given us?
The word itself describes it.


My dream is to get my breasts operated
and be successful in everything.

In cinema, television, in everything.

I'll stay at home,
or I'll go to my village,

because my mother has a house there, and
I've also got a flat in Jerez de la Frontera.

I dream about being famous in the future.

I'd like to meet a guy who loves me
and I would love him,

because I'm tired of having just affairs
and I don't want to be alone in the future.

I've had a real love,
he's very far away from Spain.

I mean, I still have.
He's still on my mind.

Because this man I'm talking about,
and I feel like crying,

he hurt me a lot,
althought he didn't know that he hurt me,

and I loved him.
The more he hurt me, the more I loved him.

I still love him, although we broke up
long time ago.

He left but I still love him.
He's on my mind.

It's like a curse
that I can't get out of my mind.

I love him forever.
He's the only one I love.

He's abroad.
He's in... abroad.

Dear Mum,

I hope you all are well
and I also hope you can forgive me

for not having let you
know about me before.

But I couldn't for several reasons.

One of the reasons,
and the most important one,

is what drives me to write this letter.

I hope you can undestand
what I'm going to explain to you.

And I hope you accept it.
Otherwise, please,

mum, at least try to undestand me.

I really don't know where to begin.

I'm 21 years old,
and if memory serves me well,

I realised that I wasn't like the rest
of people since I was 14.

Well, I knew that before.

You surely remember that when I was a kid
I preferred staying at home helping you

to going out with friends.

But it was at 14-15, when
I began working in the hairdresser,

that I realised that I liked
boys more than girls.

So, I began going out with them.

Of course, I never did anything wrong.

Then, I came to Madrid, rented a flat
with two friends and knew people like me.

With the same problems.

I found out that I was not alone.

So, since I was so confused,
I decided to go to a doctor.

He explained to me that my body
has more masculine hormones.

He also told me not to worry very much
because there were a lot of people like me.

From that moment on, I've lived more peaceful.
I'm all right, but I've changed a lot.

So has my looks and appearance.

I live and feel like a woman does.
And I'm beginning to be happy.

I regret to upset you,
since I know the way you think.

I've tried to hide it from you
because I didn't want you to worry.

I'd give anything not to give
such bad news

but I couldn't go on like this.

I hope you'll try to understand me.

I know this is very difficult
for you to accept,

but at least try to understand me.

I'm your son and I'll always be.

Of course it's not my fault
to be a man outside;

since I am and feel myself a woman inside.

Try to understand me, please, mum.

I love you. René.