Dragon Hunters (2008) - full transcript

I do not fear you, ugly thing.

My heart is pure as a fresh water spring.

The Silver Knight Gothic,

was standing,
facing the terrible skeleton dragon.

That stared at him, with his big,

ugly empty eyes.

With my silver daggers,

I shall lop off your head.

Jus...

Justice will be done,

only when you are dead.



The terrible skeleton dragon
stumbled and staggered

and collapsed with an agonizing groan,

that sent shivers down the spine.

The frail King emerged from his hiding place
to congratulate the noble Silver Knight Gothic.

Enough you little pest.

Clean everything up.

But my lord Gildas,

I am playing the Silver Knight Gothic.

Your uncle, the good lord Arnold,
awaits us for supper.

Still no sign of them, my good lord?

Nothing Gildas, nothing at all.

I can no longer see,

but I am absolutely certain,

my faithful knights will never return.



With all due respect, my lord,

you have allowed
dispair to overcome you.

Do you want me to dance a Jig?

Come, come now mi'lord.

Where are those days of yore,

when my castle did
shine in all its glory?

Where are my men,

my guards, my five players?

Alas they have all fled, my good lord.

I may be blind, Gildas,

but I am nobodys fool.

It is quite clear that no one wishes
to remain in this fortress.

Who would want to live here,
in fear of the World Gobbler.

Speaking of which,

it is night time to send
your niece to a safe haven.

To the convent of the crooked
tooth Sisters.

Gildas, if only I'dve had a nephew.

I could have taught him the basic
principles of Dragon hunting.

Yes, please Uncle,

that would be so darn neat.

It's not that I would rather have
you be a boy my little girl,

but the fact is you are not one.

Hunting just isn't suitable for little girls.

It's Granion of Bismuth, my uncle.

Granion.

You're alive!

And the World Gobbler,
have you seen him?

Have you slain him?

Cease your stupid groaning!

I'll take you late.

Now where are my other loyal knights?

With all due respect, my lord,

our faithful Granion
is but a pile of ashes.

The Smoldering Knights.

Another sign, my lord.

Raise the Drawbridge,

lower the Portcullis.

We've got to get a bigger Knight.

You, go pack your bags,

you're going to the crooked tooth.

Lock all the doors,

and bring me my battleaxe and sword.

Gildas!

We've got to get the Silver Knight Gothic.

The tail Lian-chu, the tail.

Teach him a lesson.
You hear me? Go on!

Hit him in the tail! Go! Go!

On your feet.
Keep your guard up.

And don't let him barf on you.

Victory.

Ok, fun's over guys.

Let's see, here we go.

Article 3, clause 2: States.

Upon receipt of the slain Momularis,
Fat John of Wickashire shall

pay the measly sum of 24 Guinneas
to the valerous dragon hunters.

I do not see any hunters.
All I see is a bevy of clowns.

Walking disaster.

Look what your bonehead there did to
my cabbage patch with his goof ball antics.

Fat John of Wickashire, look at me.

Isn't that your x there
at the bottom of the contract?

Enough said river rat,

you're getting diddly squat.

Do you want to get my muscle
bulging buddy all riled up,

is that what you want?

Move out of my fields.

And take the clown with you.

The mutt wants his doggy food?

Dragon!

Dear me.

Great,

I just tore my tights.

What's the matter Gwizdo, are you mad?

You think, that for once
you could take your job seriously?

It is always the same old circus, Lian-chu.

All you do is clown around
for the peanut gallery.

But I don't do it on purpose.

And it's a blimey good thing too.

Why Praytell, do you think
these hicks never pay?

Because they've got no money?

No!

They rip us off because
you're not credible.

What does credible mean?

I do not know.

Take Hector here for example.

Hector, with his big fangs and all
that fur well, he's credible.

And that's why the hicks
are scared of him, you get it?

You don't get it.

Hey look, a dragon
hunter who's credible,

makes the whole earth
shake when he walks.

Right? Like, boom. Boom. Baboom.

Boom. Boom. Baboom!

And if he has to,

he smacks his debtors
a couple of times.

Bim! Bim!

Fork over the money!

You get the picture?

Hitting clients,

that's being credible?

Another example.

Do you think it's credible a dragon hunter,

who likes to knit?
But I...

tore a hole in my...

You got Mandular boogers
on the brain or what?

You Knucklehead, knitting
is something old ladies do.

It was my mother who taught me.

Look, I'm sorry,

I didn't really mean
what I said about knitting.

If you want a more credible friend,

why don't you go look for one?

Do not be ridiculous, I could never
find a better friend than you.

You're just saying that
so I won't be angry.

Stop it.

Who do you want me
to hire as a partner?

Fat John of Wickashire?

No way,

we're a real team, me and you.

Yeah, Hector.

The three of us.
The three of us.

Say Gwizdo,

you think we'll have
our little farm someday?

Of course we will, you'll see.

A quiet little house on the water.

And we'll have chickens, cows, pigs.

And we can have sheep.

For the wool.

Yeah, right,

and you'll knit me a shawl and
wollen underwear for the winter.

What?

Timbolt Dragons.
Hey this might make some quick cash.

Lian-chu, wait for me!

Silver Knight Gothic.

No, it's me.

Lian-chu.

You just saved my life, my...

Lordy leapin lizards,
two grilled jimbobs for the price of one.

Well, when I say price,
it's just my way of talking, ok?

Now we got two jimbob dragons,

night terror 30 Guineas
are payable on delivery.

Got the money on you, kid?

No.

Figures.

But of course
your daddys got money, right?

Where are your parents?

They're dead, mister.

Oh, what misfortune.

Once again we work for peanuts!

What you been doing in the woods at night,
without a Guinea in your pocket?

I'm looking for a noble knights
for my uncle,

who is very, very rich.

Wait a minute, very, very rich?

You are real knights,

aren't you, my lord?

The knight Lian-chu was hiding
behind the village gates.

The sun was up, bloodthirsty
dragons were attacking from all sides,

The Knight Lian-chu was alone,
you see?

Alone against all odds.
And then?

And then, Knight Lian-chu grabs
onto a roof by the tips of his teeth.

By his teeth?
Yeah!

And he leaps above the horde holloring.

And after that, after that, my lord?

After that, Knight Lian-chu
jumps into the crowd,

A smack here and a whack there.

Wham barn thank you ma'am,

he ducks, a sword in each hand.

And he sends them all flying
with a kick to the butt,

a real massacre.

They took about a whole week
to clear the village.

That's unreal.

Almost as fabulous
as Silver Knight Gothic.

What? Competition?

Silver Knight Gothic.

The hero of legends.

He also slaps around dragons.

With strength,

courage and generous spirit.

Yeah?

Well, its kind of like that,
except for the generous part.

One should not believe everything
you read in fairy tales, right kid?

You see, were more of a...

Wandering Knights.

In any case, Uncle Arnold
is going to be happy to see you.

Real big.

I'm going to have
to be darn credible now.

My lords and ladies.

How ya doin?

Put a smile and open
up your bulging purses.

Sir Gwizdo and Knight Lian-chu,
the greatest dragon hunters of...

Who dares to disturb me
during my clister.

With all due respect my lord, it is two
miserable louts and your niece.

Not at all.
Zoe.

They are wandering knights, uncle.

And they just saved my life.

Go to your room, you little runaway.

Uncle.

Tomorrow it's off to the crooked tooth.

You, what feats have you done?

Besides putting up with my niece?

Us?

Well, The noble knight Lian-chu
is famous in many a land,

and his fearless feats have inspired
so many before him, that the...

Spare me the folklore.

Warrior, take a step forward.

He's got muscles...

and raw power!

Yes, the attributes of a true warrior.

Your Highness, if you please,
they are but...

Shut up, Gildas.

Lets roll son,

I have a mission for you.

Every twenty seasons,

the most terrifying dragon alive,

wakes up and leaves his lair

at the far end of the world.

When he comes,
he devours entire regions,

burns villages by the hundreds

swallows fortresses whole,

before returning to his lair,

leaving only ashes behind.

Gildas!

I have inscribed
on this calendar,

all of the signs of his awakening.

Look,

the Crenelations collapse.

The smoldering Knights.

The red cloud.

The bridges sailing away.

The sinking villages.

And talking animals.

When all of these signs,

have appeared my boy,

He will have returned,

the Devourer of Life.

The World Gobbler.

I have seen him son.

I once lifted my sword before him.

And the mere sight of his fiery gaze

drove my own eyes,

back into my skull.

Since then,

all I can see is a dead grey landscape

a terrible place where there is no life,

and no joy.

What is that little tree there,
next to the dragon?

That is for scale dear Knight.

Go to his kingdom,

enter his lair,

far off in the west,

beyond the end of the world

and strike him while he sleeps.

Before its too late.

Yeah, yeah, yeah but I no...

It is a cruel blow, but look at that,
were all booked up.

Strike him dead
and the world will be saved.

Lian-chu, say goodbye,

were disturbing the man.

My health and sight will return.

And I will cover you in gold.

Dear client, you can make room for
his head in your museum of horrors.

But first let me show you our
standard contract.

Special little advance for travel expenses.

And since were among noble knights,
here right?

The, a large purse of gold should
do the trick nicely.

Modern methods, why not?

Gildas!

Yah, just put an X there,

here, here and there.

The red cloud, my lord.

Saddle up my good brave Knights.

Keep heading west my lords,
until the end of the world.

Yeah, yeah, for sure old man, for sure.

Gildas say hi to the misses will ya?

Yes, yes.

Yes!

Yes!

Where you going?

Coiff a cold one buddy,

is not every day that we get
to rip off a blind of geezer.

That's not the way to the end of the world.

Lian-chu,

don't you understand,

who cares about
their end of the world?

We are rich.

You know what this is?

An advance?

This is our little farm, buddy.

The one of our comfy little dreams,
with sheep everywhere?

Now let's get out of here,
while the beasties are busy.

I am coming with you, my lords.

What? Zoe, you can't be serious.

Sure I am.

My uncle told me I had to come with
you to the end of the world.

Really?

Weren't you punished?

No.

And what he also said,

was that I should learn
the rudiments of the trade.

No, no, no, no, no, no and no.

You go home and explain to Uncle Arnold
that Lord Gwizdo does not take on apprentices.

He also said,

that if you don't want
to take me, he would...

He would what?

He would spank
your bare bottom in public.

My bare bottom?

In public?

For crying out loud,

and he's spitting fire besides!

No, what I meant was he was doing it
with his mouth, Hector.

I don't see what's so funny.

You sure messed up that big red
dragon good, Sir Lian-chu.

That was so unreal,

I am so fabulously impressed.

I've got to...

find my flail.

Your funny sword?

Wait for me, Sir Lian-chu,

I'm going to find it for you.

Ok, Sir Lian-chu's groupy,

your backstage chatter is very close
to driving me bonkers.

Tough luck for the public spanking.

No is to fun.
Zoe!

You grab your bag and you get lost.

You go home now.

We don't travel well with little kids.

Strange, but I have this funny feeling

that some real doo-doo
is gonna start flying.

And Sir Knight Lian-chu
was on the western bridge,

with a big red dragon

who's breathing fire,

and said to him, in his big deep voice.

I am not scared of you, Big Red.

One move from you and you are dead.

♪ Who is the man of a thousand teeth. ♪

♪ The terror of dragons far and near. ♪

♪ With his silver sharp daggers he slays ♪

♪ And finishes them off with a kick. ♪

♪ Who is the man of the day. ♪

♪ It is him of course ♪

♪ Silver Knight Gothic. ♪

How did you become
a real Knight, Lian-chu?

Did you go to knight school?

This is really unreal
taking me with you.

I mean, really unreal!

Are there girl knights?
Cause me, I want to be a girl knight.

And that time you were hanging
from the tips of your teeth.

How'd you do that?

And your funny sword there,

is it a magic sword?

I don't really know know.

The Silver Knight Gothic,
he's modest too.

He always says.

The modesty is the sign
of great knights like me.

He's my favorite fairy tale hero.

I would love to meet him one day.

And become his best friend,
and his future girl knight unreal.

But you can't in real life.

Bum, bummer.

I can't take it.

I'm gonna hang myself.

They're only blisters.

Put some herbs on them.

I'm not talking about my blisters,

I am talking about
princess blabber mouth.

A fire, a fire,

let's make a big fire!

In any case,

did you see how credible I am with her?

Yeah.

But the idea of being credible Lian-Chu,

was take Uncle Arnold's money and run.

Not to play the knights and dragons,
till the end of the world.

The best friend of Lian-Chu always
went to get wood for the fire

along with the funny blue dog who talks.

Say there sir, am I mistaken

or is your dog is a bit weird?

So,

are you going to tell her
that we are not real knights?

Yeah right, and that we ripped off
uncle fish eyes,

and then she goes and spills the beans.

No buddy, now we're
in deep doo-doo here.

He sure is weird.

But what do we do now?

Ditch her in the woods.

No crying, no fuss, no explanations.

Yeah, it's a sure fire method.

And with a little luck she'll be
gobbled up by wild beasts.

Are you sure?

You bet I am.

That World Gobbler
and his little tree for scale?

Not for me.

Tonight we'll wait till she falls asleep

and zip we're out of here.

Whose is this?

It's Gwizdo's.

That's so funny, sir

I'm really sorry but,

knitting is for grannies.

No, it's not.

It certainly is.

She is absolutely right.

Knitting is for old ladies.

The truth is, my mother taught me
and knitting relaxes me,

especially after a long hard day.

So scram, scat and go play
with good old fido.

You really have a super ton of scars, sir.

Say, those are hunting wounds, right?

Do they hurt? Me too.
I've got some.

That one was a wild squirrel
when I was playing in the trees.

And that was a duck that was
fabulously angry one day.

We used to have tons of ducks before
my parents died of Cholera.

And then my uncle brought me
to his fortress.

Don't you ever get tired?

Sure,

but I always need a bed
time story to get me to sleep.

A bed time story?

Yes, just a short one.

Please, sir.

You mean just one short story
and you go to sleep?

Hey, hey, no problem then,

but it's one story
and then bedie bye, right?

Then you fall asleep, ok?

Let's do it.

Ok. Silver Knight Gothic.

And brave Silver Knight Gothic,

wrenched the terrifying
creature out of the shadows,

His shiny scales
were dripping blood,

from the children
he had just devoured,

and whose terrifying screams,

still echoed in the bone
chilling wind of the labarynth.

The fat slimy creature growled,

revealing his sharp crooked,
yellow fangs

and he moved away
from the oozing wall.

The Silver Knight Gothic stared him
straight in the eye and said,

with a voice that did not waiver.

I am not afraid of you dreadful thing,

for my heart is pure,

as a fresh water spring.

With my silver daggers
I shall lop off your head...

and justice will be done only
when you are dead.

And the Silver Knight Gothic
threw his silver daggers

that sparkle like diamonds
and the monster died a terrible agony.

Well,

I never.

It's no wonder this girl is a live wire.

I mean kids should not be
reading this stuff.

Hey, she is fast asleep Lian-Chu.

This is our chance, lets go.

Hey, Lian-Chu,

are you asleep?

Come on, Lian-Chu, get up.

Can you hear me?

Lian-Chu, wake up.

Hurry will ya', look at me.

Get up, get up, come on,
come on Lian-Chu.

Hey buddy, wake up.

Can you hear me?

Have a bad sleep?

Tonight

if you start snoring again,

I'm chopping of your nose.

I was faking.

What?

You did that?

But that is immoral.

One doesn't abandon
children in the woods.

Of course you do.

Our little farm
Lian-Chu, it's right there.

And you because of
some little girl who thinks.

She will get lost.

I'm ready.

Me, what I really like
is a Bulgarian omelette,

are the little pieces
of mushrooms inside.

Unreal, so I ate the little
pieces of mushrooms,

and then Gildas he tries
to make me eat the eggs.

How about you,
do you like eggs sir Lian-Chu?

To be honest, eggs well I think
they smell like stinky.

Yeah.

Well, we are lost too old buddy.

Ok, let's be honest,
it's surely not that way.

On the other hand, if we take
the little side bridge there,

we reach the pretty little field of
daisies where we were yesterday.

But sir Gwizdo, What?

Isn't it that way to the end of the world?

Ok, so it's fabulously unreal,

that were taking you with
us on our little adventure.

But why don't you bug off and let us work.

And besides, no kid's gonna teach me,
my geography.

Lensflair.
Ok!

It's sir Lensflair.

One of my uncle's best knights.

Anatole, are you ok?

Back off you loony critters,

leave me in peace.

What?

But you're not animals, are you?

No, its me, Zoe.

Zoe? Zoe, Zoe...
Don't you recognize me?

He's stark raving mad.

He wasn't like that before.

Zoe!

I do not fear you ugly thing.

My heart is pure as a fresh water spring.

Over there, don't you see a knight?

Be quiet, do as I say, go home.

But my lord, the World Gobbler?

Over there. Another knight!

Forget the World Gobbler, kid.

Are you spilling the beans
again you old chatterbox?

No. No, no I'm not spilling the beans.

Hey! That's sir Gwizdo and
the great knight Lian-Chu.

And they are gonna make kindling
out of the World Gobbler.

What?

But your mad.

Yes, you are.
You are mad, aren't you?

Answer me, yes of course you are.
I know you are mad.

Your mad, mad, I know you are mad.

I'm mad, I'm mad everybody's mad!

Mad, mad, I am so mad
that I'm mad about being mad.

So I'm mad.

Sir Lian-Chu?

Do you often have nightmares?

Me too.

Often.

The same one.

With the skeletondragon, enormous,

and I scream and scream
but nothing comes out of my mouth.

And the Skeleton Dragon carries
off everyone in sight.

Say there, sir Lian-Chu?

See something around here smells bad.

And besides, my stomach is in knots,

and my hands are sweaty
and my legs are shaking.

And cold sweat's running down my neck.

Is that normal, Sir Lian-Chu?

I think I...

I want to go back home.

The end of the world.

Where did that village come from?

Scary ghost town,

or stinky forest?

Scary ghost town.

What's the problem?

The big tree.

Yeah, what about it?

Those leaves are really strange.

Yeah, well, good riddance, stinky leaves!

It's the crazy bats from the bridge!

Open up!

Sir Gwizdo, open the door!

Not the ears, not the ears!

Good move with the barrel, kid.

Yes, go find your own.

Quit bothering the sheep!

I'll bury you alive, you ugly beast!

♪ Hey bats foo on you, Sir Lian-Chu ♪

♪ is too strong for you ♪

♪ Hey bats foo on you, Sir Lian-Chu ♪

♪ is too strong for you ♪

Sir Gwizdo he left me all alone
with the disgusting bats.

I called for help and he didn't budge.

I knocked on the door,
but he didn't even open it.

And to think we could be
relaxing on our little farm.

Hey, we have been talking about our
little farm for eons, right?

Even since Mother Hubbards little
orphan paradise.

Hey, do you remember when we were kids?

When I taught you how to hide
cookies in your underpants,

so the other kids would not steal them.

And you gave a wedgie to the big guy with
lice every time he took my cookies!

When the World Gobbler is dead,

we can have our little farm.

All right,

the great knight Lian-Chu is
going to say to the World Gobbler.

I do not fear you ugly thing.

And poof, the World Gobbler is dead.

And we're all happy as pigs.

Stop.

I'm not finished.

And then nature blossoms,
and everything is green,

and are little white bunnies
flying all over the place.

Stop!

We're all gonna die!

Because of some little girl
that dreams of knights,

but life's is not a fairy tale.

In real life, knights they always die.

I don't want you die, Lian-Chu!

So why don't you step off the village,

if you don't want to come?

So that's the way it is?

Well that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Farewell and good riddance,

Knight Lian-Chu.

Move.

Why is sir Gwizdo leaving?

Because he says
we are all going to die.

Oh that's a crock of poop.

Maybe he is right, after all.

No, he is not right.

You are the strongest,

stronger than Silver Knight Gothic.

Gwizdo says that life isn't a fairy tale.

What does sir Gwizdo know anyway?

And Besides, who is that Gwizdo?

Lord Pain in the Butt?

Sir Old Fart?

Mr. Blister foot?

He was my one friend.

What are you doing here?

Hello, Sir Gwizdo.

So the rats jumping the ship, is he?

What's this circus all about?

You're abandoning your friends.
Lord McChicken.

Wait, wait, wait a sec'!

What do you girls want?

To me feel guilty, is that it?

Scaredy pants.

Scaredy pants?

Yeah, and so what?

Do you think I look like the hero
of this fairy tale?

And Lian-Chu,
what's gonna happen to him?

He won't listen to me.

Sir I'm shaking like a leaf.

Sir I'm sh-sh-shaking like a leaf.

It's all Zoes fault.

And the lie.
Hey sir rip off artist.

Shut up!

I didn't choose to be small and poor.

Do not forget ugly and mean.

Exactly, ugly and mean!

Now get out of here, scram,
just scram, bats.

I do not believe in heroism,

and happily ever after!

And animals that talk!

Animals that talk.

Gwizdo.

Zoe.

Lian-Chu.

Sir Lian-Chu.

Sir Lian-Chu.

Weird things are happening
underneath the village.

Just wait for me here.

Tell me honestly kid,

what do I have at the end of my arms?

Hands?

Wrong!

Hello, there little Zoe.

Lian-Chu,

Sir Gwizdo is doing weird things
with his hands.

Like knight Lensflair.

We've got to get a bigger village.

Come on now,
quit fooling around sir Gwizdo.

It's not funny.

Hello little kiddies.
Would you like a story?

Yes, yes, tell us a story.

The story about the naive little girl who
mistook two lowly rogues for noble knights.

No... No...

We've already heard that one.

Then another one, another one!

Another please, please.

And the one about the nice hunter
devoured by the World Gobbler?

Because of some little girl
who dreamed of noble knights!

Yeah, yeah, that one really stinks.

And one of the two red bats that
strangled the little girl?

Yes, yes, that's the one.

Zoe.

Zoe.

Zoe!

Zoe!

Zoe!

Zoe.

Zoe!

I can't feel my legs.

Your legs are just fine,

you had a bad fall, that's all.

You were right Gwizdo.

Life isn't a fairy tale.

But you know,

It doesn't matter if you're not really nice.

You're still my favorite heroes.

Lian-Chu,

he's even stronger than
Silver Knight Gothic,

and that's no fairy tale.

All you have to do is believe.

But Lian-Chu needs you
in order to succeed.

Promise me you'll carry through
until the end, Gwizdo

and my death won't have been in vain.

It's a promise Zoe.

We're gonna make kindling out
of the World Gobbler.

Really?

I swear we will.

Thank you, Gwizdo!

But, you... And...

You're not hurt?

Nope.

I just fell down there.

You, but that...

That's, that's immoral.

Do you realize what a fright you gave us?

You were really scared?

Of course I was!

That means you love me.

All right, partys over guys.

We got us a World Gobbler to slay.

What's that giant tree?

It's for scale sir.

What that noise, what is it?

Is that an earthquake?

No,

it was snoring.

We have to find him.

Run for cover!

Monster bat?

My nightmare.

That's the skeleton dragon
of my nightmares.

Lian-Chu!

Come back!

Lian-Chu run!

Help, Lian-Chu!

I'm sorry Gwizdo.

We are all going to die!

Zoe, look at me!

We got to believe,
isn't that what you said?

So hang on, hang on, hang on.

I believe, I believe, I believe.

I believe, I believe,

I believe, I believe, I believe.

Lian-Chu!

Lian-Chu!

Leave them alone!

I do not feel you, ugly thing.

My heart is pure
as a fresh water spring.

Get up Lian-Chu!

Go for it, Lian-Chu!

Everything is really pretty now.

Now over there will be the barn.

And there, the chicken coops.

What do you mean?

Our little farm old buddy.

With sheep for your wool.

And there the mill, for bread,
a big mill.

And over there, your sheep barn,

and when I say sheep barn.

I mean a real sheep barn.

And here, our house.

With your bed room, my bed room

and Zoes bed room.

A big room?

With a view of the flying bunny rabbits,

for whenever she comes to see us
during the holidays, right?

Yes!

So, we gonna go pick up
uncle Arnies cash?

We certainly deserve it.

Where are my noble knights?

Yeah but,

But my great and wealthy Lord,
we're here.

You?

Yeah, Lian-Chu and Gwizdo,
you know dragon hunters.

All right look, isn't that your X
at the bottom of this parchment?

All right, enough of this,

I don't see any hunters.

What I see are two coarse
and lowly rogues...

With all due respect my Lord,
I do believe I did warn you.

But Uncle, it's really true,

Lian-Chu killed the World Gobbler.

That is why you were cured
and nature has blossomed,

and there are little bunnies everywhere.

And you little runaway,

your tall tales will get you nowhere.

They are not tall tales,

the Lian-Chu is a hero.

Get out of my sight insolent girl.

Your eyes are even more
inside out than before.

Off to the convent, little pest.

So much the better.

Because I would rather go
to the crooked tooth convent

than live with a bitter,

heartless, ugly old fart
who doesn't even love me.

Zoe!

Get back here immediately.

Zoes right!

Your really a looser

and besides, your mean to little girls

you don't know Zoe, she is kind,

she's courageous and she's intelligent,

she deserves so much better than a dishonest,
self centered, meiserly old uncle,

and with all due respect I have
for the boogers in my nose

I would like to know what Lord Arnold,
The Butt Wipe, has to say about that!

Oh I tell ya,

kings are not respectable people.

It was when you called him
Arnold the Butt Wipe,

that he really got mad.

Hey, hey, just a sec there Mr. coward,
you could have done something.

Why?

You did a great job on your own.

A great job, are you pulling my leg?

If it wasn't for you.

Zoe would have gotten
spanked on her bare bottom.

You know,

you're right.

You think that we'll see Zoe again someday?

Forget about her buddy.

And look at us, nothing has changed,

we're still two course,

and lowly rouges just good for
getting our butts kicked by royalty.

Hey, wait up for me, noble knights.

Zoe, what are you doing here?

The old crooked tooth isn't my style.

I'm gonna go live on the little
farm with you guys.

What little farm?

You know,

the one you dream of,

with a big mill and the barn,

and sheep,

for wool.

Zoe,

I love you.

By LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections August 2020