Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008) - full transcript

Looks like we're finding
out what a true hero is.

The Mayor himself will be on hand to
dedicate the new homeless shelter

and unveil the statue
of Captain Hammer.

It's a good day to be homeless.

It certainly is.

So they say Captain
Hammer's become a crusader,

political, he's cleaning up
the streets.

About time.

So they say that
it's real love.

So romantic.

He signed this.



So they say we'll have
blankets and beds

we can open by Monday
thanks to you.

Thanks to me.

It's the perfect story.

- So they say.
- A hero leading the way.

Hammer's call to glory.

Let's all be our best.

Next up : who's gay?!

So they say he saved her life.

They say she works
with the homeless

and doesn't eat meat.
We have a problem with her.

This is his hair.

This is so nice.

I just might sleep with
the same girl twice.



They say it's better
the second time.

They say you get to
do the weird stuff.

We do the weird stuff.

This is perfect for me.

So they say.
I guess he's pretty okay.

After years of stormy

sailing have I finally
found the bay?

He's still not picking up.

- There's no happy ending.
- There's no happy ending.

- So they say.
- So they say.

Not for me anyway.

- Shoud I stop pretending?
- Stop pretending,

- take the chance you build a brand new day.
- Or is this a brand new day?

This is his dry-cleaning bill

Four sweater vests!

And in just a few minutes,

we'll unveil the statue
of the man himself.

Thank you.

Thank you!

Justice has a name.

And the name that it has,
besides justice,

is Captain Hammer.

Ladies and gentlemen,

your hero.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mayor,
for those kind words.

I hate the homeless.

This problem that
plagues our city.

Everyone should
have the basic...

You know what?
I don't need tiny cue cards.

When I fell deeply in love

with my serious long-term girlfriend
Penny. Wave your hand, Penny.

There she is. Cute, huh?

Sort of a quiet nerdy thing.
Not my usual but nice.

Anyway...

She turned me on to this whole
homeless thing which is terrible.

And I realised

I'm not the only hero
in the room tonight.

I'm not the only
one who's fighting.

It may not feel too classy

begging just to eat.

You know who does
that? Lassie.

And she always gets a treat.

So you wonder what your part is

'cause you're homeless
and depressed.

But home is where the heart is.

So your real home's
in your chest.

Everyone's a hero
in their own way.

Everyone's got villains
they must face.

They're not as cool as mine

but folks, you know it's
fine to know your place.

Everyone's a hero
in their own way.

In their own
not-that-heroic way.

So I thank my
girlfriend, Penny.

Yeah, we totally had sex.

She showed me there's so many

different muscles I can flex.

There's the deltoids
of compassion.

There's the abs of being kind.

It's not enough
to bash in heads

you've got to bash in minds.

Everyone's a hero
in their own way.

Everyone's got
something they can do.

Get up, go out and fly

especially that guy,
he smells like poo.

Everyone's a hero
in their own way.

You and you and
mostly me and you.

I'm poverty's new sheriff

and I'm bashing in the slums.

A hero doesn't care if you're a
bunch of scary alcoholic bums.

Everybody!

- Everyone's a hero in their own way.
- We're heroes too

- Everyone can blaze a hero's trail.
- We're just like you

Don't worry if it's hard.

If you're not a friggin'
'tard, you will prevail.

Everyone's a hero
in their own way.

Everyone's a hero in their...

Look at these people.

Amazing how sheep'll
show up for the slaughter.

No one condemning you, lined up
like lemmings you led to the water.

Why can't they see what I see?

Why can't they hear the lies?

Maybe the fee's too pricy
for them to realize,

your disguise is slipping.

I think you're slipping.

Now that your saviour
is still as the grave

you're beginning to fear me

like cavemen fear thunder
l still have to wonder

can you really hear me?

I bring you pain,
the kind you can't suffer quietly.

Fire up your brain,

remind you inside your
rioting society is slipping.

Everything's slipping
away so...

go ahead, run away,
say it was horrible,

spread the word, tell a friend,
tell them the tale,

get a pic, do a blog.
Heroes are over with.

Look at him! Not a word!
Hammer meet nail.

Then I win,
then I get everything I ever...

All the cash,
all the fame and social change.

Anarchy... that I run.
It's Dr. Horrible's turn.

You people all have to learn.

This world is going to burn.

Burn! Yeah, it's two Rs.
H-O-R-R... Burn!

No sign of Penny. Good, I would
give anything not to have her see.

It's gonna be bloody.
Head up, Billy buddy.

There's no time for mercy.

Here goes no mercy.

That's not a good sound.

...way!

A death ray!

Looks like Dr. Horrible's
moving up!

Let's see if this one works
any better than your others.

Don't!

I don't have time
for your warnings.

You give my regards
to Saint Peter

or whoever has his
job but in hell.

Oh, I'm in pain!

I think this is what
pain feels like.

Oh, mother!
Someone maternal!

Get out of my way!

I gotta get out.

Penny! Penny!

Penny!

Billy?

Is that you?

Penny, hold on. Oh no.
No, no, no, no!

- Are you alright?
- Hold on.

It's okay. It's okay.

Captain Hammer will save us.

Penny!

Dr. Horrible!

Why did you kill her?
Dr. Horrible!

Here lies everything,

the world I wanted at my feet.

My victory's complete.

So hail to the king.

Everything you ever...

Arise and sing.

So your world's benign.

So you think
justice has a voice

and we all have a choice.

Well now your world is mine.

Everything you ever...

And I am fine.

...right here, in my heart,
and it hurts inside...

Now the nightmare's real.

Now Dr. Horrible is here.

To make you quake with fear.

To make the whole world kneel.

Everything you ever...

And I won't feel...

a thing.