Double Trouble (1967) - full transcript

Okay. You're on, girls.

Is it true you're leaving us
for Belgium, Guy?

Yep. Leaving tomorrow night.

- Oh, boo-hoo!
- Oh, boo-hoo!

"Boo-hoo"?

Thas a good title for a song.

Do you happen to have a light?

- Is there anything else I can do for you?
- You can sit down.

Thank you.

- Have you been here before, Miss...?
- Claire. Claire Dunham.

I've been here every night since you
opened, but you haven't seen me till now.



I can't understand that.

Perhaps you've been too busy
with that pretty little girlfriend.

Oh, there's nothing wrong
with your eyesight, is there?

- Are you in love with her?
- Would it break your heart?

Oh, shatter it to pieces.

And look, there isn't an ounce
of sympathy in your eyes.

There isn't an ounce of sincerity in yours.

Guy?

- You going to stay around for a while?
- Of course. She may not turn up tonight.

- Your lighter.
- Thank you.

- What do you want?
- Must be the maternal instinct.

- What?
- That you bring out in chicks.

Little mothers can't leave you alone.

What are you complaining about?
You're married.



- Thas what I'm complaining about.
- Georgie, you don't pop the big question...

...they can't give the big answer.
- It can't be that easy. I never proposed...

...yet I got a wife and three kids
and a grabbing ulcer.

- Maybe she won't turn up.
- Who, Jill?

- Whatever her name is.
- Thas the only name I know.

I can't get a thing out of her.

- Or anywhere with her.
- Drink your milk.

She's holding out for a ring
on her finger...

...and the one in your nose.
It won't be long now, my friend.

I see an ulcer in your future.

Look, pal, when we get to Bruges,
I'll still be as free as a bird.

A canary's a bird.

So?

Ever see one that wasn't locked up?

Les go to work, partner.

Hi.

Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- You're very pretty.
- Thank you.

- Les do something different tonight.
- We've never done anything.

- I was wondering if you noticed that.
- I noticed.

Well, is my last night here.

Do we make the most of it,
or do you disappear as usual?

I suppose if anything's to become of us,
ill have to be tonight.

Thas exactly the way I feel.

You've had so many women in your life.

I haven't looked at another woman since
the first night you came into the club.

But they're still looking at you.

I don't even know her.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Who is she?

A music lover.

- Thas nice.
- You are beautiful.

And you're the most wonderful thing
in my life.

Come on. I'm gonna put you in a cab
and send you straight home.

Home? But I don't want to go home.

I want to go with you to your flat.

I tried.

And so after Mommy and Daddy died,
I went to live with Uncle Gerald.

He has a lovely home in the country,
and he lived all by himself.

He's been looking after me ever since.

You'd love Uncle Gerald, Guy.

- Oh, I'm sure I would.
- He's a lamb.

You don't mind me tidying up, do you?

Not a bit.

I love doing things for you.

Tea's ready.

- Do you take milk in your tea?
- No milk in the tea.

Have you any bikkies?

"Bikkies"? Not that I know of.

Biscuits, silly.

No bikkies, silly.

Oh, dear. I suppose I'm chattering away,
but this is the first time...

...we've really had a chance to talk.
- And talk and talk and talk.

- Guy?
- Yes?

Would you put something
on the record player?

What a time to dance.

Why not?

Okay, there's something
on the record player.

There we are.

Oh, I forgot the sugar.

Jill, you're flitting around
like a butterfly.

Why don't you light somewhere?
Like here.

Ain't that better?

Don't you just love us like this?

You all cozy and relaxed,
and me pouring your tea...

...and doing things for you.
- You could do a lot more if...

- Let me prop those pillows.
- I don't want them propped.

- There. Comfy? Cozy?
- Comfy, cozy.

Better?

Jill, hold still just for a minute.

- What for?
- For this.

Oh, Guy. Our first kiss.

I knew it would be like that,
all shivers and goose bumps.

- One or two?
- What?

Lumps in your tea, silly.

Four hundred eighteen.
I couldn't care less.

Is marvelous being with you.
I can't believe this is happening.

I can't believe it either.

- Guy?
- Yes?

Would you kiss me again?

Are you sure I wouldn't be
interrupting anything?

I'm sure.

Oh, isn't that lovely?

- It could have been.
- The music. The song.

Don't you remember, darling?
You said it was our song.

I did?

I did.

Sing it to me.

- Sing at a time like this?
- Please.

You've no idea what your singing
does to me.

Well, Jill...

Jill?

- Jill!
- Oh, I must have dozed off.

You did.

Oh, Guy, I do love you.

- Aren't you going to say it back?
- Sure.

Say it, Guy.

Okay. I love you.

I'm crazy about you.

I'm nuts about you. I'm mad about you,
absolutely mad about you.

- I just sat on the tea service.
- Yes, I know.

Cups of hot tea are spilling all over.

Yes, I know.

It won't take a minute to change.

- Guy, is terribly late.
- I won't be long.

- I'm copying down your telephone number.
- Help yourself.

- I'll give you a ring tomorrow, all right?
- Anytime.

I love you.

"I'll ring you up tomorrow, all right?"
Thas what you think.

If I never see you again,
ill be too soon for me.

B6?

I do believe I've made a mistake.

Oh, well. From the looks of him,
he probably deserved it anyway.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello?

Hello... Are you there?

- Yeah, I'm here. Where are you?
- Hello. Hello?

- Hello?
- Mr. Lambert?

- Yes.
- Well, this is Gerald Waverly.

- Does my name mean anything to you?
- Not a thing.

Well, then, apparently I've been as much
of a secret to you as you've been to me.

Jillian Conway is my niece.

Jillian Conway? I don't know a...

Jill? Then you must be Uncle Gerald.

Well, I bear that distinction, yes.

Mr. Lambert,
I think is high time we met.

- I agree.
- This afternoon, then?

Three-Eleven Surrey Road,
St. John's Wood. Around 2-ish?

- Around 2-ish.
- Goodbye, Mr. Lambert.

Goodbye.

Very nice.

- Is a Constable.
- Yeah, I know.

- How did you know?
- Is written right here on the bottom.

Well, do sit down, Mr. Lambert.
Would you like some tea?

No, thanks. Where's Jill?

She's here, but she doesn't know you are.

- Would you mind telling her I'm here?
- You're an entertainer, I believe.

Rather an uncertain life, I should think.
Is not like steady employment, is it?

Well, we're not all on relief.

I assure you, it wasn't
my intention to offend.

I'm not offended, I'm in a hurry. I don't
want to lose my place in the bread line.

Did you have it in mind
to marry my niece, Mr. Lambert?

Is been nice. I can find my own way out.

- Just a minute, please.
- Look, I'm over 21.

No criminal record. No hint of insanity.

I want to marry her,
forgive me if I don't consult you.

- Has Jillian told you about her inheritance?
- We had other things to talk about.

Knowing her as I do,
I can safely assume...

...she's told you nothing
about herself at all...

...other than she fancies she's in love.
- Well...

...sometimes thas all one needs
to know.

Perhaps, but not in this case.

Uncle Gerald?

In here, Jillian.

Uncle Gerald, I...

Guy!

If you'll excuse me...

You're putting me on.

You're not putting me on.

It looks worse than it is, Guy.
I'll be 18 in four days.

Happy birthday. I'll send you a card.

- You didn't think I was a child last night.
- You didn't look like that last night.

All thas changed are my clothes.
I'm still the same girl.

I'm not the same fella.

- I love you, Guy.
- Love? What could you know about love?

Here.

Look, this is where you belong...

...in houses like this with Uncle Gerald...

...and Constable over there.

Can't I even call you?

No. I'm taking the boat train
to Belgium tonight.

Oh, Guy.

- Leaving so soon, Mr. Lambert?
- Now, with your permission, of course.

How long have you been spying
on me, Uncle Gerald?

Spying?

How else could you have known
about Guy? And I trusted you.

I trusted you, until I discovered
you were slipping out...

...when you shoul
ve been asleep.
- You needn't make it sound so sordid.

I want to marry him.

Marriage. You're only 17.

Oh, how I hate that number.
Well, in four more days, I'll be 18.

Well, being 18 still isn't old enough
to marry without my consent.

You're too young to even contemplate
such a thing.

A few more years of the proper schooling
should help.

- School?
- Is all arranged. I have your ticket here.

You're shipping me off
like some convict to Devil's Island.

Actually, it could be
a wonderful experience.

Brussels should be lovely this time of year.

Brussels? Brussels is in Belgium,
isn't it, Uncle Gerald?

Unless they've moved it, yes.

- You'll take the boat train tonight.
- Yes, Uncle Gerald.

Georgie!

Georgie!

- What are you doing out there?
- Trying to turn the ship around.

- Oh, I thought you had an accident.
- Pull me in!

Oh, I'm just a million laughs, right?

I ought to shove that smile
right down your throat.

- Just not my day.
- It ain't your night, either.

- I just saw Jill on the boat.
- You're crazy. She couldn't be.

Or could she?

Jill!

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

- Time is running out, Archie.
- I still don't like it, Arthur. Too risky.

Risky? Yes, but not for us.

We pick an unlikely-looking suitcase...

...and let somebody else carry it
through customs.

- All right. Give it a go, but be careful.
- Careful, right.

I say, I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen.

Not like that, you silly twit.

- Casual.
- Casual.

Actually, this is a holiday for me,
with a little work thrown in.

I'm doing a thesis on the historical
backgrounds of European cities.

How interesting.

- So I noticed.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Would you like me to help look for him?
- Is no use.

I've been over the boat from top to
bottom. I'll catch up with him in Bruges.

- Is that where you're going?
- We're going to marry.

- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.

Georgie? Georgie! Not a sign of her.

- You sure it was Jill you saw?
- Positive.

- Les set up.
- Have a heart. I don't feel like playing.

- Got something better to do?
- I'm going to the railing.

Wait a minute. First we play.

- Lf Jill's on board, she'll find us.
- And then what?

Then we'll both go to the railing.

Oh, sorry, governor.

Casual, you nit.

But thas barbaric, uncivilized.

I agree. Nevertheless,
without parental consent...

...forget about being married in Belgium
until you're 21.

Thas downright immoral.

- Too bad you're not going to Stockholm.
- Stockholm?

Sweden's lovely this time of year...

...particularly for an 18-year-old girl
with marriage on her mind.

- Thas him.
- Who?

Him! Excuse me. Thank you.
Thanks for everything. Excuse me.

All right!

Guy.

School's out. You just rang the bell.

You were right.

- I thought we settled everything.
- We did.

- Then why are you here?
- I'm on my way to Brussels.

To Brussels? Not Bruges?

- Would you like to see my ticket?
- No, never mind.

- You might say you're glad to see me.
- I'm glad to see you.

- Friends?
- Are you sure you're going to Brussels?

Friends.

Is okay, is okay.
It was just an accident.

Some accident!
You could get killed around here.

Yeah. I think somebody's
trying to tell me something.

- You better get out of here.
- Come on, Jill.

I better get out of here.

- Which one's yours?
- That one.

- Sorry, miss.
- Sorry.

Have your passports ready, please.

Have your passports ready, please.

- What?
- What is this? Unhand me! How dare you?

Passengers, please claim your baggage
before leaving the terminal.

Is shocking,
the indignities a man must suffer.

Speaking of indignities, Arthur,
you'd better finish dressing.

Well, I guess thas about...

Well...

- Well, watch out for falling trunks.
- Yeah.

Travel light.

- Jill, are you all right?
- Yes.

- Something's forever coming between us.
- Yeah.

You better move. Don't wanna miss
your train to Brussels.

- And you don't miss your bus to...?
- To Bruges.

- Oh, yes, Bruges.
- Last call for the bus to Bruges. Last call.

The next bus leaves in 2 hours.

Can you see him?

Can I see him? You great, steaming nit.

Disappeared into thin air.

I thought I was rather good tonight.

- Tell the boys to wrap it up.
- Wrap it up, boys.

- You okay?
- I don't know.

I keep thinking about the trunk,
the gate opening, now the baggage cart.

Coincidence. Just freaky accidents.

Then why do I feel like I'm being followed?

If mine eyes don't deceive me, I'd say
that face over there was rather familiar.

Wrap it up.

- Hello again.
- Hi.

You must like to travel, to come
so far for a one-night stand.

I hope you're referring to your itinerary.

- We play Antwerp tomorrow.
- Is that an invitation?

Well, look who's here.

Bag and baggage.

Excuse me.

- What are you doing here?
- Whas she doing here?

Wait a minute.

I thought you'd be glad to see me,
but, oh, no, you're doing fine.

I was.

- Music lover.
- Les go.

- Where to?
- To my hotel.

Oh, super!

We can't talk here. I'm gonna
straighten this out once and for all.

Superduper!

Come on.

Guy, darling, are you all right?

Why don't you watch where you're going,
you crazy idiot!

You don't scare me! Not even that much!

Come on.

Running away from school?

You should know better.
You're old enough.

No, you're not. Thas just it.
You're too young.

Uncle Gerald shouldn't send you away
like that by yourself at your age.

- Now, sit down!
- I am down.

Get off that bed! Get off the bed!

Put your shoes back on.
Put your shoes back on!

- My feet hurt.
- "My feet hurt. "

Okay, so you had a beef
with Uncle Gerald and you ran away.

There's nothing unusual about that.

As a kid, I was always
in trouble with my folks.

Were you really?

Sure.

Running away doesn't solve anything.

Of course, when you're older,
you'll understand that. Yeah.

You'll...

The smart thing to do
is to call Uncle Gerald.

Put that down.

You're flitting around like a butterfly.
Why not light somewhere? Like here.

- I brought you up here to talk.
- And talk and talk.

Get off my bed. Don't you realize you're
alone with a man in his hotel room?

- I love you.
- No, you don't.

- And you love me.
- No, I don't.

- Can't you hold still for a minute?
- For what?

For this.

- That drink you were holding...
- Yes, I know.

- You spilled it.
- Yes, I know.

Won't take me a minute to change.

Is in there.

Maybe she better not.

Like it?

Seventeen.

Seventeen will get me 20.

Oh, thas bad. Thas very bad. Very.
You don't know what you're doing.

Well, what I don't know,
you can teach me.

Some schoolgirl.
She must major in hygiene.

- I need some air.
- Oh, we'll open a window.

Eighteen in three days?

In two days now.

Imagine that. Time flies.

- Nope. No, you don't.
- But, darling!

Don't "but, darling" me.
I'm sending you home tonight.

You said you loved me.

You say a lot of things
when you're trying to... Well, you know.

Do you say it to all the girls
you're trying to... You know?

- No.
- No?

You're going home tonight,
and thas that.

All right. The worst he can do
is beat me again.

Sure, the worst he can do is beat you.

Beat you? Uncle Gerald?

Oh, don't worry. He's very careful.
The bruises never show.

- The man's a fink!
- I don't mind the pain, really.

But I dread being locked in my room
for days at a time. I get so hungry.

Don't just stand there.
Put your clothes on.

- You're sending me back!
- To that bluebeard? Fat chance.

Oh, I am glad.

- I'm taking you to that school.
- Oh, no!

- Oh, Guy, please take me with you.
- Take you with me?

There's been too many weird things
happening to me lately.

- Just till Stockholm, please?
- Stockholm? Thas three days away!

Do you realize I'm in big trouble already?

I won't be in the way.
I'll do whatever you tell me. I promise.

And once we've reached Sweden,
well, everything will be fine in Sweden.

- What would be so fine in Sweden?
- Well...

I have this dear, sweet, old maiden aunt
in Stockholm to look after me.

- Old maiden aunt?
- Aunt Harriet. She looks just like me.

- Just till Stockholm. Not one step further.
- Oh, darling!

- No more of that "darling" stuff.
- No more of that "darling" stuff.

- You do exactly as I say.
- Yes, Guy.

Well, what is that? I can't
take you anywhere looking like that.

No, Guy.

- Don't just stand there. Get changed.
- Yes, Guy.

- You can't get changed without this.
- No, Guy.

- Close the door.
- Yes, Guy.

I'll dump some of your things into
my bag. We'll travel faster that way.

Is all kind of exciting, isn't it?

Me serving time for kidnapping is exciting?

But you didn't kidnap me.
I'm here of my own free will.

- Remember that when my trial comes up.
- I will.

Must be nuts. I could get shot for this.

Okay, okay, I get the message!
You don't have to hit me over the head!

Me and my big mouth!

- They're just saying good morning.
- All right, good morning.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Gosh, is lovely. Beautiful!

Thank you.

Les go.

I'll be right back. Don't go away.

The boys haven't arrived yet.
First thing is to find a place to stay.

- Then we can see the festival.
- See it from the hotel window.

- Thas no fun.
- Neither was being shot at last night.

- Look, I got enough to worry about.
- Thas not fair.

- You wanna go back to your uncle?
- No, Guy.

- Then you mind me.
- Yes, Guy.

He's gone! Quick, pick it up,
and we'll make a run for it.

I can't reach it!

You're closer to the ground than I am.
You try it.

Very well. Lower me down onto it,
and I'll pick it up.

Right. Here we go.

- Casual. Casual.
- Right.

- Casual.
- Right.

Excuse me.

Get me up!

Isn't there a man somewhere
wondering where you are?

There are many men, darling. I have
an old beau right here in Antwerp.

- Thas where I'm staying, at his studio.
- Studio?

He's a sculptor.

You know, he takes globs
of wet, clammy clay...

...pushes it here, pokes it there,
and voil?! A nude lady.

Well, thas one way.

Would you like to see it? We could hop
in my car and be there in no time.

Would your friend
with the clammy clay object?

No. He's in Paris.
He won't be back for a week.

- Sounds cozy.
- Doesn't it?

Excuse me, Mr. Lambert.
May I have your autograph, please?

- Why not?
- Not with that.

- Would you like it in blood?
- Yes, please.

After I cut your throat.

About my cozy suggestion...

Any man in his right mind
wouldn't refuse.

- Unless he were in love.
- In love? With that silly schoolgirl?

You better take another look, professor.
Is graduation day.

- Claire...
- Yeah, I know.

Some other time.

- I won't call you. You call me.
- Thanks. I'll do that.

No! Don't! No!

Oh, thas very funny!

I'm sorry.

Hello.

Is me.

- The girl from the boat train.
- Amazing. I didn't recognize you.

- What are you...?
- What are you...?

- Ladies first.
- Oh, I'm enjoying the festival.

And having a wonderful time, as usual?

- Mind if I join you?
- I really wasn't going anywhere.

- Then let me be your guide.
- All right.

Did you know that Antwerp is the seat
of the oldest stock exchange?

- No.
- Yes, indeed.

Is also the world center
of the diamond trade.

Thas an interesting thing to know.

Jill?

Jill!

Oh, is so peaceful here.
I love the sound of the crickets.

I discovered something interesting.
Let me show you.

All right.

Is in here.

This well is as old as Antwerp.
They must have built the city around it.

- Is this part of your thesis?
- My what...? Oh. Yes, it is.

I've written a couple of pages
on Antwerp already.

Oh, you've dropped something.

Your uncle gave this to me.

I see. Then you're not a friend,
my uncle hired you to follow me.

Thas not quite true, Jillian.

- I don't understand.
- Well, is really very simple.

Uncle Geral
s been dipping
into your inheritance.

Comes a day of reckoning:
Your 18th birthday.

You see now how it is, don't you, Jillian?

Is all been leading up to this moment.

From the time you left London...

...my associate and I have followed
your every move.

This wood is rotten.

Even your light weight should break
the fence and go through the boards.

I don't care about the money.
If you tell Uncle Gerald that, then maybe...

- There's an element of greed in all of us.
- Oh, no!

The taste of your money has increased
your uncle's appetite.

- I'm sorry, Jillian.
- No!

- In a moment, it will all be over.
- No! Please!

No! Help!

Help!

You play pretty rough, mister.
Wanna try me?

With pleasure.

Guy!

Jill!

Come on!

- Oh, Guy, I'm scared.
- Just take it easy. Take it easy.

I've never seen a dead man before.
What are we going to do?

What we planned to do.
I'll take you to your aunt in Sweden.

- My who?
- Your aunt in Stockholm.

Oh, yes. Aunt Charlotte.

Aunt Harriet!

- About here, I'd say.
- In all that water?

- Ill put us two hours out of Amsterdam.
- There ain't an easier way?

- Easier?
- I mean, a little less dangerous.

There's nothing to it. We simply plant
a tiny bomb in the boiler room.

A bomb in the...?

By the time it goes off,
we'll be long gone away in a lifeboat.

Mutiny. Mutiny.

You dirty rat!

Quiet, you traitor.

Captain, it does sound quite simple.

Yes, it is, matey. A friend of mine
scuttled his ship the very same way.

What happened to him?

He's got a grocery business in Putney,
all with his share of the insurance.

- Groceries, eh?
- Captain! Passengers coming aboard.

- Passengers?
- Passengers?

- Captain Roach?
- Aye, and who might you be?

- Your passengers.
- Man the lifeboat. Bombs away!

- Ever thought of going by plane?
- Is much faster and a lot safer.

Nobody travels by sea anymore.

- I think is a lovely boat.
- A ship, lady. A canoe is a boat.

Why don't you both go by canoe?

The S.S. Damocles. Thas the name
on the ticket and on your ship.

And thas good enough for us.

- It leaks, you know.
- Like a sieve.

All right. Give me your boarding passes.

- We don't have any boarding passes.
- You haven't picked them up yet?

No, we can't go through Immigration
to pick them up.

Whas a couple of boarding passes
among friends, huh?

You think we're spies? We just want
to sail on your dirty ship, not blow it up.

You're too late.
There's a bomb in the boiler room.

You leave me no alternative.

Off.

Off!

Bye!

- What do you suppose it says?
- Aren't the pictures enough?

Les get out of here.

- We'd like a room, please.
- My English is not good.

You will write, please? Name?
And passport, may I see, please?

It is not your passport.

- Is a game we play.
- Yeah. Is called "Button...

...button, who's got the...?"
- "Button. "

If you're not a tailor, I'm in big trouble.

She's not right. She thinks you
are her husband who ran away.

- Oh, great.
- She thinks every man her husband.

Room five.

I tell her he's your man.

- Is that another game you play?
- Oh, is...

- Yeah, yeah. Is called...
- "Be kind to children week. "

- "A friend in need is a pest. "
- Yes.

Which way, please?

- Over there.
- Thank you.

Charming room. Elegant design.
What would you call it?

Early poverty, to me.

- Oh, gosh, I'm done in.
- Yeah, I've had it.

- Whas so funny?
- I was just thinking.

Whas a nice little girl like you doing
in a dump like this?

- You said no more of that.
- Thas right. It wouldn't be fair.

Not if you didn't love me.

You deserve a guy who tells you more
than a bedtime story.

- You deserve the marrying kind.
- And you're not the marrying kind?

Thas what I've been trying to tell you.

It won't work. It just won't work.

Guy, where are you going?

To make a phone call. I think
I found a way to get us into Sweden.

Oh, please don't leave me here alone.

I'll be back just before you know it.

- There he goes, Archie.
- She's still in the hotel. Alone.

Right, and with the suitcase.

Don't muff it.

Casual, Arthur. Casual.

Casual.

And goedemiddag to you too.
I'm looking for a girl.

Girl.

- Again English. Well, I'll try.
- She's about so high.

Should be alone.
There was a man with her, but he's gone.

Yes. A shame.

She's not right.

Is that a fact?

Over there. Room seven.

- Hello?
- Hello, Claire? This is Guy.

Look, I'm in trouble. I need your help.

I think I'm running out of time.

What is it, Guy? Whas the matter?

Jill's at 89 Park Straat.
89 Park Straat, room five.

Room five. Yes, I've got it.

There's no time to explain.
Will you pick her up...

...and take her to the studio with you?
- Yes, of course.

Okay, thanks. I'll meet you there later.

- Are you Guy Lambert?
- Yes, I am.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I'm Sergeant Havert,
and these are my two assistants...

...hardly worth mentioning,
Sylvester and Harry.

And I'm Herbert. And I'm sorry we have
the pleasant duty to arrest you.

Arrest me for what?

Well, I... I really...

I have to go, really. You don't understand.

I am Inspector de Groote.
Be seated, please.

- No, thanks. I really can't stay.
- Help Mr. Lambert to sit down, please.

- Well, if you really insist.
- To begin with, Mr. Lambert...

...would you tell us where
we could find Jillian Conway?

Jillian Conway? I never heard of her.

Let me warn you,
if your memory does not improve...

...this friendly visit could lengthen
into a permanent stay.

You can't hold me, de Groote.

- Inspector de Groote.
- Not without charges.

As for the charges,
I have it on good authority...

...that kidnapping is still considered
a criminal offense.

Kidnapping?

You find that amusing?

Well, not exactly.

You mean, you don't want to
question me about...

Kidnapping. Imagine that.

Do you deny you
took Miss Conway by force?

Of course I didn't.

Give the trio a five-minute break.
They're boring holes in my neck.

- You've been in touch with Jill's uncle?
- Mr. Waverly?

He's the one who reported her missing.
He also suggested you might help find her.

And did he tell you why Jill ran away?

But did she run away,
or was she kidnapped, Mr. Lambert?

- Which leads back to me?
- Exactly.

So let us forget Mr. Waverly.

We can't forget him.
He's the reason for it.

This story is too crazy to be believed.

But this crazy story,
would Miss Conway support it?

- Of course she would.
- Then, Mr. Lambert, where is she?

Room five. 89 Park Straat.

Mr. Lambert has decided
to be cooperative.

89 Park Straat. Room five.

Thank you, inspector.
You've been very kind.

Don't let him get away.
He's gonna kill her.

- What on earth?
- Stop it!

What on earth?
Take your hands out of my pockets!

- This is the wrong man!
- Stop it!

Thas the wrong man, you idiots.

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

Well, I never. Disgraceful.

- May I leave now?
- But of course.

Thas right, call your hatchet man.
Have him do the job you hired him for.

- You're irritating me.
- Murder is an irritating business.

Would you be good enough to send
one of your own men for my niece?

Certainly, but you needn't feel
you have to prove anything to me, sir.

I shall sit right here until Jillian arrives.
Right here, Lambert.

So you can plainly see
I shall make contact with no one.

We shall all sit and wait.

What...? They've got away!

If we lose them now,
is all your fault, Arthur.

What were you doing in there, anyway?

Arthur!

Get in, and les get after them! Get in!

You great, long drink of water!
Get in, for goodness' sake!

- You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
- Baby mouse!

Baby mouse!
Come back to the mama mouse!

- Come back to the mama mouse!
- 89 Park Straat.

Excuse me, pussycat.

Mice! Three!

Inspector de Groote.

I know you're not Inspector de Groote.

I am Inspector de Groote. Idiots!

- He's angry.
- Let me talk to him.

Let me talk to him.

Inspector? Inspector?

Hello? Hello, hello?

- Inspector?
- Inspector?

- Idiots!
- Just a moment. Inspector de Groote?

I'll be with you in a bit.
Just a moment.

- Let me talk to him.
- Hello?

Where have you been? Idiots!

Without a trace?

I see.

Miss Conway has left the address
you gave us, Mr. Lambert.

Left? Yes, well, I hope for your sake
nothing happens to Jillian, Lambert.

How can it with you sitting right here?

How long will you keep me
under surveillance?

- Until midnight.
- Midnight?

We can all help Jill celebrate her birthday.

This is absurd.

All right, Lambert. I accept the challenge.

Good.

Inspector, what do you do
around here for amusement?

- I arrest people.
- You never lock the door and play cards?

I am inspector of police, sir.
I have a position to uphold.

A position of respect and honor.
And I am, sir, a man of integrity.

I'll thank you to remember that.

A little draw poker, maybe?

Fine!

- Mr. Waverly?
- No, thanks. I'll catch up with the news.

Mr. Lambert.

Business must be good.

Excuse me.

There it is, Arthur.
They've left it in the car.

How obliging.

I'll have that open in two seconds flat.

Casual, Arthur. Casual.

Where?

There's sheer panic going on
inside of you, isn't there?

Time's running out, and you know it.

Please, Mr. Lambert, make your play.

You've been bluffing all evening.

- I am not.
- I wasn't talking...!

If I may, inspector,
I'd like to make a phone call.

I'm late now for an engagement.
I should phone my apologies.

- Not on your life.
- Lf you don't mind, it is my phone.

He's gonna call his hatchet man
and tell him to...

To what, Mr. Lambert? To kill my niece?

Where shall I tell him to look?
You're the only one who knows.

- Mr. Waverly, please, make your call.
- Thank you, inspector.

- You shouldn't let him do it.
- Mr. Lambert, please make your play.

He'll make his play.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Well, if is not hello,
is obviously goodbye.

Cheers.

No answer.

Thank you anyway, inspector.

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

The bedroom's right through there.

Why don't you lie down for a while?

I think I'd better.

Mr. Lambert, please.

Mr. Lambert, make your play, please.

Is beginning to get to you, isn't it?

Look at you!
Your nerves are starting to crawl.

Aren't they?

Aren't they?!

Well, why aren't they?!

Tell me that!

I hate a sore loser.

That phone call. That phone call!
Thas it, isn't it?

You knew where Jill was all along.
Uncle Gerald, you are a fink!

- What was that?
- I believe Mr. Lambert just escaped.

You fools, what are you doing?

After him!

Look! He stole my car.

This is a criminal offense.

Follow me! Are you coming, Uncle Gerald?

I wouldn't miss it.

Uncle Gerald!

Quick!

Go! Go!

Do not lose sight of this car. Faster.

Don't let him get away.

Left! Turn left!

No, no. To the right. To the right.

Hello? Idiots, where are you?

Hello? Hello? Idiots, where are you?

Why should we tell you?

- Who's this speaking, please?
- Attention! This is Inspector de Groote.

Lambert is traveling west on Plascoubert.

- Where are you?
- In police car number six.

- Where are you?
- Where am I?

In police car number one.

In police car number one, idiots.

- Over and out.
- Over and out.

We hear you loud and clearly.

We hear you loud and clearly.

- In your hat.
- In your hat.

In your hat? Idiot!

There he is.

Quick! Hello?

Lambert has just turned north
on Whittendale. Converge!

- Faster.
- Slower.

- Faster. Faster.
- Slower. Slower.

Idiot! Now we've lost him. He's gone.

Hello. We have just lost sight of Lambert.

Can you pick him up? Can you see him?

Sylvester, can you see him?

No. I can't even see you.

- Harry, can you see him?
- Not yet.

I can't see him, either.

Jill?

Jill? Jill?

Are you all right?

I still feel a little groggy.

You'll be okay now.

He's out cold.

You have an amazing right, for a singer.

Your lefs not so bad, either.

Thas far enough, sweetheart.

I was afraid of that.

Look, there it is. My car.

Converge on my car.

Yeah.

Sit down.

Idiots!

Fools! What are you doing?

I am Inspector de Groote.

Uncle Gerald, are you all right?

- Yes, I'm all right.
- Follow me! Follow me!

Quick!

I am Inspector de Groote. I'll take charge.

No one will leave this room until I do.

- Hello, Uncle Gerald.
- Jillian!

Alive and kicking. The party ended
just before the gas heater took effect.

Gas heater? You can't connect me
with any of this, Lambert.

Would you care to make a wager?

- Inspector.
- That poor, sweet eye, madame!

How did that happen?

He hit me.

It was the only way to get her gun.

Well, you've apprehended
the right party now.

Don't be so ridiculous, Gerald.

Jail is no place for a lady.

Do you know Mr. Waverly, madame?

- Intimately.
- Will you be quiet, Claire?

Don't you understand, love?

If I go, you go.

Claire was the one Gerald called
from your office.

It was a signal he was safe with a good
alibi, and for her to turn the gas on.

I'd have given you the money.
Every shilling.

Now she tells him.

Claire wanted so many things.

I needed the money for her.

Do you realize what you're saying?

Unfortunately.

Then it is my duty
to place you both under arrest.

- Do it then, and get it over with.
- Arrest this man!

Madame?

Damaging evidence.

Well...

Well?

Thas that.

Thas that.

I guess I'll be leaving now.

Well, goodbye.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry I lied to you
about so many things.

- I lied to you too.
- About what?

I said I didn't love you.

Guy.

- Are you still here?
- You love me! You mean it!

- Now, wait a minute, Jill.
- Say it.

I love you.

Watch the wine.

- Kiss me.
- Not yet.

What?

Okay. Happy birthday.

Grayson's the name. Scotland Yard.

- Where is it?
- What? Scotland Yard?

No. I know where that is.

Your black suitcase.

Is in the car.

Gone!

- So are the jewels.
- What jewels?

Diamonds smuggled into your suitcase
on the boat train.

If you knew that,
then why did you wait till now?

Because I wanted to catch them
with the diamonds.

- Who?
- Babcock and Brown, thas who!

Nothing quite like an ocean voyage,
is there?

Right.

Things have worked out rather well,
don't you think so?

They did. They did, indeed.

What do you suppose happened
to that little schoolgirl?

- Do you think he married her?
- See for yourself.

Shall we go below?

What a kiss!

Come on, Arthur! Come on!

Have you got the suitcase?

Have you got the case?

Don't worry, Archie. I've got it. I've got it.

You've got it, all right.

Well, you better go back
and get the rest of it!

Heave ho!

This is another fine mess
you've gotten me into.

Heave ho!

Ahoy there. Do you know what this is?

Is the end, pal.
The ever-loving, living end.

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