Double Duty (2009) - full transcript

[gunshots]

[grunting]

[adventurous music]

- T1J.

- Roger that, Stogy.

Hold it right there!

Hold it there!

There's no moving!

- Please, no!

No, no, she's deaf.

Please, she cannot understand.



Please, she cannot hear.

[mumbles]

- Relax, Major.

I have your papers in hand.

I was hoping you
might reconsider.

- The Corps's been
very good to me, sir,

but it's time I lead
a civilian life.

- What's in it for you?

You're a Marine.

- Yes sir, but somewhere
deep down inside, sir,

I'm a woman, a woman with needs.

- What needs?

- A man.

- This is the Marines,
we have a few good men.



- A family, sir.

- We are your family.

- A home, sir.

- This is your home.

- Sorry general, I'm just tired

of getting stabbed and shot at.

- You were always a good man,
I mean woman, I mean Marine.

Goddamn politically
correct bullshit.

- I know what you mean, sir.

- The minute you
take these papers-

- Always a Marine, sir.

- You can take the
girl out of the Corps.

- Something in
your eye, General?

- Getting a bit
emotional, actually.

I remember when you
first came to us,

little orphan fresh
out of college,

ready to take
names and kick ass.

It was some kinda picture.

- We've come a
long way, General.

And it has been an honor.

- For me as well, Major.

For me as well.

You are now a civilian.

- Semper fi, sir.

♪ I was born my papa's son

♪ A wanderin' eye
and a smokin' gun ♪

♪ Now some of you
would live through me ♪

♪ And lock me up and
throw away the key ♪

♪ Or just find a
place to hide away ♪

♪ Hope that I'll
just go away, huh ♪

♪ I feel all right, I
feel all right tonight ♪

♪ I feel all right

- Now is not a good time
to be messing with me, boy.

I entered my personal
identification number,

I entered my zip code, it
told me to come see you.

Now you do it.

- I cannot, please help me.

- Do it, you Taliban bastard.

- I am a Hindu, please help me.

There is free gas for you.

You do not understand,
it is not possible.

- Then make it possible, Ahmed.

- Hey hey hey, hold
on there, Gigantor.

The little man said
that it wasn't possible.

Now, why don't you
quit trying to fit

a square peg
through a round hole

and see why it isn't possible.

- Who the hell are you?

- I am your conscience.

You wouldn't wanna do anything
you'd regret later, would we?

This is a Costco card, genius.

Listen, why don't you go inside,

and I'll be filling
up on pump four, okay?

- Yeah, a million times to you.

- So, since you're
getting it for free,

why don't you pay for my gas?

I said, why don't
you pay for my gas?

- Do you seriously
want me to answer you?

- Come on, put the
nozzle in my tank.

- You want me to shove
this up your ass?

- It wasn't a metaphor, boys.

- These your guys?

- Dagger, Shiv, call me Dirk.

- Dirk, Dagger, and Shiv.

That sounds like
a law firm to me.

- Boys, this [laughs]
lady is gonna

be giving us some gas.

- You want gas, I suggest
you eat a burrito.

- Funny.

She's a funny Army lady.

- GI Jane, that's
who she is, GI Jane.

- Hey listen, I know
where this is going.

You guys try and
rough me up. [laughs]

- Are you making fun of us?

- Do I really have to?

- You really think
the Marines are gonna

get here in the nick of time?

- They're already here.

- Saw that.

Didn't see that.

[grunting and shouting]

[moaning]

All right.

Let's never speak of this again.

You know, she's
gonna rue the day

that she met Dirk,
Dagger, and Shiv.

- You know, we do
sound like a law firm.

♪ Feel all right tonight

♪ Feel all right

♪ I feel all right tonight

♪ I'll bring you
precious contraband ♪

♪ And ancient tales
from distant lands ♪

[knocking]

- Okay, one second.

Hi, may I help you?

- Yeah, I'm Mimi Lagos.

Is Sophia here?

- Yes, I know all about
you, you are Mimi Lagos.

Though you prefer to
be called MJ, right?

You went to college with Sophia,

and then you went
straight into the Marines

after graduation,
periodically keeping

in touch of course,
and after 20 years

of active duty, you've come home

to get re-acclimated
into civilian life.

- Yeah, aren't you cute.

- Though there is
nothing that indicated

in your file that
you were a lesbian.

I think I should tell
you that I'm straight.

I'm not totally discounting it

from the realm of
possibility in some

future sexual encounter,
it's just who I am.

- And who might that be?

- I'm Lilly.

I'm Lilly, Sophia's assistant.

I'm Lilly, Soph...

Yeah.

- Okay, Lilly.

For you information,
I am not a lesbian.

Can I come in now?

- Yes, yes.

Please do, come inside.

I'm telling you,
Sophia is so excited

that you're gonna be
here for the charity

auction this Saturday.

Okay.

[laughs]

- [Camerawoman] Eyes here.

Back her up, back her up.

- Good girl, she's doing great.

Don't mind the photo
shoot, it's just

that, you know, we're
trying to meet a deadline.

Is this all your luggage?

- Yeah.

- Is it hard to find shoes
that match that bag? [laughs]

- I'm wearing 'em.

- Oh.

I was trying to be whimsical.

- Yeah, me too.

- I should go find Sophia.

You can follow me, come on.

- Wow.

- Ladies, ladies-
- That's it.

- Uh-huh.

Look Carl, look, I'm telling you

for the last time, I'm
counting on you, okay?

Oh my god, oh my god,
Carl, I've gotta go.

Yes, yes, you're
doing a good job.

Asshole.

MJ.

- Gosh, you look terrific.

- None the worse for wear.

Lilly, this is my oldest
friend, Mimi Lagos.

- [Mimi] Yeah, she knows.

[laughs]

- Of course you do.

[phone rings]

I'm sorry, one second.

Hello?

Carl, listen to me.

What?

But all you had to do
was talk to Lucen's.

What do you mean the situation
changed, what changed?

It was a done deal, right?

Get out of here.

We'll need you around here.

- Thank you so
much for having me.

- When'd you finally get out?

Yeah yeah, I'm here.

What, no.

You lose this for me,
and I'll have your ass.

And the hole that goes with it.

- Whoa, descension in ranks?

- One in every office.

How did you handle
it in the field?

- I figure when all else
fails, friendly fire.

- Hardcore.

- Marine Corps.

Not that I didn't
want to on occasion,

if you know what I mean.

- Not really.

You haven't changed a bit.

Come on, come on.

[laughs]

you're so silly.

- Here are the RSVPs
that you asked me for,

and this is the
menu for Mr. Robert.

- Did I come at a bad time?

- No no no no no, not at all.

I've got a charity
auction here on Saturday.

Auctioning off a Faberge
egg, worth millions.

- Millions?

- I've also got this
photo shoot, which
is driving me crazy.

Great, I think we'll
go with that one.

Thanks Lilly.

- Of course.

- Oh, and do you
know where Craig is?

- Yeah, he's outside measuring
the buffet table again.

- Again?

- Again.

- Can you ask him to
come in here, please?

- Gladly.

- Thanks.

Craig's a really good friend
of mine, and my caterer.

He has really good
taste for a single man.

- Did you say that
for my benefit?

- I did.

- Which part, the single
man or the great taste?

- Which would you be
least offended by?

- Let me see, great
taste, single man...

Probably the great taste.

[laughing]

- Oh, Craig Craig
Craig, I want you

to meet Mimi Lagos.

- Hi.

- You're Mr. Robert.

- Robert is just the name
on the business card,

and it's my middle name.

You can call me Craig, okay?

- Call me MJ.

- Okay, MJ.

When Sophia said she
was expecting a Marine,

I just thought for
sure I was meeting-

- Norman Powell.

- Oh no no no no, Sergeant
Carter at the very least.

- Either way, you were
expecting a man, weren't you?

- Well, when she said MJ, MJ,

you could go either way.

- Craig.

- What?

- Why aren't you back
here measuring the art?

- I'm measuring another table.

- For what?

- An ice sculpture.

- Of what?

- You.

Don't worry about it
okay, you'll love it.

- Why do I bother to ask?

Be nice.

- I'm trying, I can be.

MJ, I knew you were
a woman, I just...

- So that whole crack
about Sergeant Carter,

that was a joke?

- Well, I have a...

Great to see you, no, maybe?

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

- So, how long
have you been gay?

- Who said I was gay?

- Does anybody have to?

- Ask Sophia.

Look, I'm a lot
of things, ma'am,

but gay isn't one
of them, and ask...

Sophi...

Sophia knows for sure.

- Do you like that?

Do you like that out there?

- Of course I like it, I did it.

I put in all the
flowers and the plants,

and I'm gonna put a koi pond.

What's not to like, it's lovely.

- Whew, I heard about you.

- Oh yeah?

Oh, oh no.

You did, what'd you hear?

- You cook, you
clean, and just look

at the way you're dressed.

- What's wrong with
the way I'm dressed?

What's wrong?

- Look, you have
style and taste.

- Style and taste doesn't
mean you're gay, okay?

Please, please I'm begging
you, get off the table.

It's not a chair.

- Ooh, okay.

- Thank you.

I need to...

Like I said, style and taste
doesn't mean you're gay.

Oh goodness.

- And you said you could
take a joke, couldn't you?

- Well not about being
gay, cause I'm not gay.

Being gay is-

- [Mimi] You can't take a joke.

- Excuse me, you two.

I couldn't help but
take the liberty

of compiling a dossier
on each of you,

because I know that in business

as well as speed
dating, it helps you.

Kinda breaks that ice
and gets you talking.

So, here you go.

Come on.

Have fun.

Break the ice, break.

- Okay, this is good stuff.

- I get it.

Ooh, it's cold.

[cheerful music]

- Hey Sophia.

- Hi.

- Can I get you another drink?

- I think I could
go for another, MJ?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Two, please, gracias.

- And one para ti, Sophia.

I'll make them how you like it.

- Gracias.

- You speak Spanish now?

- I live in California,
I sort of have to.

I can't believe you're here.

- Yeah, well frankly I
had nowhere else to go.

You're my only friend.

My only family, really.

And in your last letter you said

that you were getting a divorce

and I should come stay with you.

- That letter was
almost three years ago.

- It was?

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh.

And you couldn't even get along
with that idiot you married.

What was his name?

- Ray.

- Ray, you call him Ray,
I call him chicken shit.

- Twas the beast that
killed the beauty.

And by the beast I
mean the foundation.

The beauty is me.

- He cheated on you.

- Some say I work too much, he
got his affection elsewhere.

I don't hate him.

Sometimes I miss him.

- I want what you had.

I wanna be like you.

- What, divorced?

- No, not like you
divorced, but like you.

Just look at you.

I want that.

If I looked like you,
maybe I could get a man.

Second in command, small
little platoon round the house.

I would like that.

- You're getting a
bit long in the tooth

to be starting a
family, aren't you?

- Yeah.

What do you say, I'm not old.

- How old are you?

- How old are you?

- I asked you first.

Well, we went to
college together,

so I'd say we'd be right
around the same age.

- So, how old are you?

- 35.

[laughing]

38.

- Spare me.

- Okay, just near 40.

- How near?

[laughing]

- Sloping over the edge.

- I knew it, I knew it,
you're older than me.

- You're lying to me.

- Yes.

[laughing]

You are in great shape
for a woman our age.

- Yes I am, yes we are.

Hit me, really.

- Don't be silly.

- No no, check this out, hit me.

- I get your point.

- Give me your best shot,
right here, come on.

- Sit down Rambo, we know
you have abs of steel.

- [Mimi] Come on
come on come on.

- I'll hit you.

- What?

- I'll hit you.

- What did I hear her say?

- I'll hit you.

- Whoa, hey lady, you drunk?
- What's the big idea?

- No, I'm not drunk.

Why don't you guys
get out of here?

- I'm telling my mom.
- I'm telling my mom.

- Yeah, I'll hit you.

You want somebody to
hit you, I'll do it.

- No.

I don't even know you.

- You only let people
you know hit you?

- I don't let anybody hit me.

- You were just gonna
let her hit you.

- I'm her best friend.

- Yeah, and I just
wanted to show

her what great shape I'm in.

- All right, show me.

- I don't want
any trouble, okay?

- Listen, I'm drunk,
and with you two

honeys here, I'm
never gonna get laid.

[laughing]

- She paid you a compliment.

- Hey, thank you.

You think the reason
you're not gonna

get laid tonight is
because we're here?

- Yeah, I mean traditionally
I do quite well here.

- Hey, any of you
men, who would like

to have sex with,
what's your name?

- Bertha.

- With Bertha, anybody?

What, what, what?

- Hey, you know, this
isn't my usual night.

- Okay, why don't
you just go home

and sleep it off, Bertha?

- You know what, I
don't wanna go home.

I wanna take my
frustrations out on you.

- This is not a
fair fight, Bertha.

- Yeah yeah, I know I'm
bigger than you, get over it.

- Come on, baby.

- Well, don't let my
two years in the Army

Reserve scare you.

- That's it.

Come here, big girl.

[yelling]

Oh Bertha, are you okay?

Oh dear, oh geez.

Oh, my Bertha, you'd
better go home now.

I think you pissed your pants.

- Yeah, well I think
maybe you're right.

- You're gonna need some help
if you're gonna approach men.

- You think?

Let's get drunk.

Where's that Gerardo of yours?

- Hold on a second there, miss.

If you really do
wanna be more like me,

it's gonna take some work.

You game?

- I'm in.

- Right, we'll start tomorrow.

- [Both] The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.

- Again.

- [Both] The rain in
Spain stays mainly...

[rhythmic music]

- I didn't hear
anything, I was worried.

- I'm exhausted.

- Hey, what did you do to her?

- What did I do to her?

- Yes.

- I'm sorry, but she
put me through hell.

- You through hell?
- Yeah.

- All I was trying
to do was get you

to sit and walk like a lady.

Craig, come here.

Put this book on your head
and walk across the room.

- Oh sure.

Ready.

- Mm-hmm.

[laughing]

- He dropped it too.

- At least he got
across the room.

You couldn't even balance
the book on your head.

- Sophia, I don't walk, I march.

- Well, you're not in the
service now, sweetheart.

- Craig, a drink, now.

Please.

- I'm trying as hard
as I can, Sophia.

- Are you?

- It's not easy trying to
train an old dog new tricks.

- Really?

- Hey, you're not giving
up on me, are you?

- Yes.
- Never.

- No.

Craig.

- Yes?

- Leave us for a bit, come
back in a couple of hours.

- Okay, are you
gonna be all right?

- Yes, we'll be fine.

- I'm not gonna be okay.

- More Alka-Seltzer.
- What do you need?

Sure.

What do you need?

- What do I need?

- You need so many
things, why bother, right?

- Okay.

Again.

- [Both] The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.

- Oh my god, Sophie,
are you dead?

- Yes, I am.

Pay your respects and leave.

Come on now.

Oh, I forgot myself.

How is she doing?

- It's pretty rough
going, but I think

we made some progress.

- Where is the
animal, I mean woman?

Let's go.

- I see you over there.

How are you, what's going on?

- What are you doing?

- I figured since
you passed out,

I'd grab me some
chow, and I found

this can of rations in
the back of your cupboard.

It's good.

- You have military food here?

Oh my god.

- No.

Let me have that.

That's an old can of ravioli.

- You have kids?

Oh my god.

- I've been to
places where people

would kill to eat this good.

- Really, you have?

- Yeah, I've eaten worse.

- La la la la la la.

- We need to get you a job.

- Time to call Annabelle.

Annabelle, Annabelle,
hey, how are you?

- Oh, hello and welcome.

Good to see you, Craig.

- Good to see you too.

- So, this is MJ.

- Annabelle, this is Marine
Major Annabelle Lagos, retired.

- MJ, just initials,
no real name?

- Sorry ma'am.

Been in the Corps
a long time, ma'am.

The name is Mimi, ma'am.

- Mimi, that's better.

First of all, never
call me ma'am.

My name is Annabelle, just
Annabelle, the Annabelle.

So, good to meet you, Mimi.

Sorry ma'am, won't
happen again, ma'am.

Mimi, could you
wait for us indoors?

The door is open.

- Yes ma'am.

- Did this one get
wounded in the head?

- No.

- Maybe there's something
wrong with her ears.

- That's it, speak up.

- Let me take a look at you.

Take off her jacket, please.

Nice breasts.

Lovely figure.

Turn around.

Great butt.

Posture is a little stiff,
but good breeding stock.

All in all, what is the problem?

- I need to find a job, ma'am,

a job where I could
use my skills and be

a woman at the same time, ma'am.

- What did I tell you?

What did I tell her
about calling me ma'am?

Could you excuse us for
a moment, please Craig?

- I'm sorry, of course.

- Thank you, dear.

If you say that again,
I will not help you,

and I place clients
such as yourself

to bodyguard high
profile people.

Do you want me to
help you or not?

- Yes, m...

- Good.

Give me your hand
please, miss Mimi.

Now, I want you to walk
nicely across the floor.

And back, please.

I want you to walk like a lady,

and you march like a soldier.

- Marine, ma'am, I
march like a Marine.

- Either way, you march.

- That seems to be
my problem, ma'am.

- Are you a good Marine, Major?

- Oh ma'am, yes ma'am.

- About face.

And as a good Marine,
do you follow orders?

- Ma'am, yes ma'am.

- Then I order you to
stop calling me ma'am!

I can't work this way.

Craig, Craig please bring
me some tea, the chamomile.

Now you're being ridiculous.

- What, this is for chow, right?

What?

- You would never
get into a chair

like that if you
were wearing a dress.

- Craig, can you tell...

I'm not wearing a dress.

- True.

- True.

- Craig.

- Yes?

- Get our queen for
the day a dress.

- Yes indeed, I will.

- Look, I'm sorry, I
know you're trying.

What can I say, I
know it, I'm sorry.

- Don't mention it, dear.

- I don't know
Craig, I think it'd

be easier to turn
you into a lady.

- I don't think so.

I've seen you work with worse.

- Do you like it in here?

- Oh stop, not now.

- [Annabelle] Be a challenge,
but I think I found

someone that she can work with.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Craig] Who might that be?

- That might be
Jessica Love Simpson.

- Jessica Love Simpson,
does she need a bodyguard?

- Yes, they called
yesterday, and she's looking

for someone who could
look like her girlfriend

and be her bodyguard,
and I know Mimi

can handle it with
her background.

But what I don't
know is whether she

can be part of a Jessica
Love Simpson crowd.

- I know.

Let's try this dress on her
and see what it looks like.

- Thank you.

- Maybe it's magic.

She's not the most feminine
thing I've ever met, is she?

May I pour you some tea?

- Yes please.

- Sure.

There you go.

And one lump?

Two, perhaps.

- Three?

- Wow, we'll go with it.

There you go.

- Milk?

- Um, no thank you?

- Good.
- Very good, miss Mimi.

- Cookie?

- No, no.

Miss Mimi, miss Mimi.

What do you think
your spoon is for?

- I figured we were all
friends here, right?

- What if that tea was hot?

Could you discontinue,
just discontinue.

- It was hot. [coughs]

It was hot.

- You could burn yourself.

- I'm just trained to
distract myself from pain.

- What?

How do you do that?

- By jabbing my
thigh with a fork.

[screams]

- Craig, if she has
any grace at all,

this is when we're
going to find it out.

- Right, now have
you seen her walk?

- Yes.

Into every life a
little rain must fall.

- Why mine?

- Mimi, come here.

The dance, hold your hands here.

Craig, on her waist.

- Yes yes yes.

- On his shoulder.

When a woman dances with a man,

he sweeps her off
her feet to dance

in the moonlight, on
a cloud of romance.

- Really?

- Well, it's what she says.

I think so too.

- Commencer.

- It means dance.

- Oh.

- Head up, head
up Mimi, head up.

- No, you don't wanna hit my-

- Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- That wasn't bad, actually.

- Mimi, this is not
hand to hand combat.

Okay Mimi, you are
to let him guide you.

You are going to trust him.

Let's march.

Mimi.

Left right left right,
left right left.

Follow me.

Left right left right,
left right left.

Left right left right,
left right left.

Now backwards.

Left right left right,
left right left.

Left right left right,
left right left.

Left right left right,
left right left.

- There you go, there you go.

- Beautiful.

I knew there was
something going on here.

- I think this lady thing
is just a load of crap.

But you know, that's
really nice of Annabelle

to get me a job so fast.

Craig, am I really
so bad the way I am?

- I don't think so.

- Maybe I just don't
have what it takes.

- Trust me when I say
you have what it takes,

you just don't display
it well as a lady.

- You think?

- You can get any man you want,

by force or otherwise.

- You're so sweet.

- Did anyone ever
ask you what kind

of man it is that you want?

- The light doesn't get any
greener, you horse's ass.

- Well, let's see.

He'd probably have
to be intelligent,

and even tempered for sure.

- Someone who complements
your easygoing personality.

- Exactly, yeah.

- What do you think a
man wants, for instance?

- A good woman.

- You are a good woman.

- You're damn right I am.

I'm trained to kill
in 10 different forms

of martial arts,
specialist in large

and small arm weaponry.

Certification to
transport, distribute,

and detonate all sorts
of explosive devices.

- Which means-

- Which means I can
blow your ass up.

- Which means most men are
probably scared of you.

- Only the men that know me.

- [Craig] I know you,
and I'm not afraid.

- Oh no?

- [Craig] Not totally.

Actually, I'm slightly aroused.

- Well, hmm.

Does the fact that
I can kill you

make you tingle, Craig?

- Wow.

No, I mean, yes, I mean no.

The fact that you
can protect me.

I never felt so safe, really.

Drive faster.

- I like that.

- Carl, I need those files
on the appropriations

forecast, the
Unicorps contribution.

- Working on it
even as we speak.

- You know, I gave you
this account on good faith.

Is there something
you want to tell me?

- No, everything's going well.

- Why don't I have
confidence in you?

- I don't know, why?

- Why.

Because you assert yourself
for all the wrong reasons.

You're all for
you, and you forget

this is a charitable
organization.

Don't underestimate your
importance to this foundation.

You have a job to do, now do it.

- Hoping that my name went
into your refrigerator.

- MJ.

We are going to Irma
Schnotsgower's with cocktails.

- Schnotsgower, that's
very funny, Sophia.

- Yes, Schnotsgower.

[laughs]

She's on the foundation's
board of directors.

It'd be good for you to go.

Jessica Love Simpson
will be there,

she's dying to meet
her new bodyguard.

- Cocktail party, Sophia?

- Think of it as a military
function, without the military.

- Okay.

Wait, is Craig gonna be there?

- Yes.

- Good, I like that.

Good, fine.

- We'll meet him there.

- Okay.

- Now I want you
to just, you know,

try a few things on.

- No way.

- Just think
outside the box, MJ.

- No, that is not me.

- Try a few things on.

It's better on-
- I can't do this.

No, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I can't do this.

- Yes you can.

Please, MJ.

- For you.

All right, I'll try.

- Excellent.

- Get out of here, let
me see what I can do.

Don't expect much, okay?

Only doing it for you, Sophia!

You'll be proud of me, Sophia.

♪ Hi, we're your weather girls

♪ And have we got news for you

- I like this one.

♪ Get ready, all
you lonely girls ♪

♪ And leave those umbrellas
at home, all right ♪

- I'm coming, Sophia.

This is working out.

♪ According to all sources,
the street's the place to go ♪

♪ Cause tonight for
the first time ♪

♪ Just about half-past ten

♪ For the first
time in history ♪

♪ It's gonna start
raining men. ♪

♪ It's raining men, hallelujah

♪ It's raining men, amen

- I'm done.

- Okay, well, not
too bad, not too bad.

Simple and understated.

- Yeah.

I feel so, so...

- So, so what?

- So-
- So like a girl?

- Yeah, not that it's a
bad thing or anything, but-

- Seeing as you
happen to be one.

- Yeah.

- Come on MJ, give it a chance.

Stand up straight.

- Do you know how
silly I would look

in this getup at attention?

- Let's see.

Attention.

That's better, good.

Good good good good, this
is good, this is good.

Okay, relax, relax
the upper part a bit.

Bit more, little bit more.

Good, like it.

Okay, now stomach in,
bottom in, chin up.

Hold this.

- What is it?

- I got you some makeup.

- Makeup?

Sophia, you know I don't-

- MJ, remember how we talked.

Come on, you can do it.

[guns fire]

Oh.

Flashback?

- Yeah.

It wasn't too bad this time.

- Come here.

Look, let me help you.

- You always help.

- We'll get you
all fixed up, okay?

- Okay, sorry.

- Don't be sorry.

- We went down to Palm Springs,

a bunch of us, and we
were at the Springs Park,

and I saw this magnificent
man, and I had to have him.

- Have him?
- Here.

- Well, you know, I
don't myself believe

in this hypnosis stuff.

- No, he's great.

- Really?
- Watch, watch.

- You will no
longer be gargoyles,

but in fact, back in your
own bodies, quite safe.

Deep sleep.

One, two, three.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Karen and Peter.

Give them a big hand.

- [Annabelle] See?

- What you have
witnessed here tonight

is not a magic
trick, but in fact

an example of the
power of the mind,

the power inside every
single one of you.

If any of you are
here with anyone

who has fallen under the spell,

then Irma here has
very kindly provided me

with a private room
where I can revive

them from that
subconscious state,

leaving them refreshed
and quite safe.

- What happened?

- Her name is Mimi.

She just likes to be called MJ.

- Okay, is there any suggestion

you'd like me to leave with her?

- Like what?

- Bad habits.

Does she want to quit smoking,
stop biting her nails?

- I don't know, Sophia?

- Could you make her
behave more like a lady?

- Bingo.

- We've tried to teach her,

but she doesn't
think it's in her.

- Tomboy?

- Marine.

- Corps.

- Oh, I understand.

Very well.

MJ, you are in a
deep, restful sleep

and hear nothing but my voice.

When I snap my
fingers, you'll become

the very essence of femininity.

All the efforts of your
friends to make you

walk, talk and act like a
lady will come to you now.

Remember MJ, when
I snap my fingers,

you'll become the
lady miss Mimi.

Deep sleep.

One, two.

- He can count.

- Three.

Well hello, miss Mimi.

- Hello.

I don't think we've been
properly introduced.

- Forgive me, I am
Faison, at your service.

- Hello, Faison, it's nice
to make your acquaintance.

- May I present-

- Sophia.

- Um...

- Craig.
- Craig.

- It's very nice
to meet you both.

- Sophia is the person you're

staying with whilst you're here.

- Thank you very much, I hope
it's not too much trouble.

- No trouble at all.

- Sorry.

- Oh my.

My, I do look a fright.

- No you don't,
he does, he does.

- If you would excuse me.

- Absolutely.

- You're kidding me,
you have a compact?

- That was amazing.

- Thank you.

I believe we
discussed a hefty tip.

- Do not stop in front of
oncoming traffic, tip one.

Tip two, don't carry
a compact with you.

- Sophia, I was looking for you.

- Where have you been?

You know, running late.

Gotta keep the boss happy.

- Sophia, is this
a friend of yours?

- Not exactly, he works for me.

- Aren't you gonna introduce us?

- Mimi, may I
present Carl Meyers,

a coworker of mine.

- Somebody call heaven and tell

them they're missing an angel.

[laughing]

You're Sophia's friend
from the Marines, right?

The Marines?

Mr. Meyers.

- Carl, please.

The Marines are for big,
tough, strong men like you.

- Oh, well. [laughs]

I've got someplace to be, but I

can stick around for a drink.

- Okay.

- Carl, don't you have to be
preparing for the auction?

- Everything's taken
care of, Sophia.

- Carl is so reassuring.

I would care to join you.

I'd be so delighted.

- We really should be going.

- Mimi, would you
care to join me?

- Wow.
- Yeah, come on.

- Make me a cosmo, please.

Oh, Sophia, how is
your friend doing?

- Well, she had a
nasty blow to the head,

but I think she's okay.

- How are you feeling?

- Mimi?
- Mimi.

- Annabelle's
asking how you feel.

- Oh, I just feel
fine, thank you.

Thank you for your concern.

- Well, you look terrific.

- I agree.

- Same girl?

- Yes it is.

[snaps]

- Oh Jesus, what
is going on here?

Something is not right, and
what's the deal with my hair?

- Well, it was up, and
then you fell down.

- I fell down?

- On the floor.

- Well, who slipped me a Mickey?

What, they use roofies?

And who the hell are you?

- I'm Carl.

Sophia's friend.

- I know who you are.

You're the puke.

Craig, what is going on?

- I don't know, I
mean I usually do,

but now I don't.

- Are you kidding
me, jeez. [snaps]

- Carl, Carl, you
left me for a minute.

Please don't do that again.

- I like this one better.

- Too bad. [snaps]

- Craig.

What is going on here?

- Gentleman there next to you
is attacking you, I believe.

- He's attacking me?

- Yes, he is, I think so.

- Why yes, yes I am.

[shouting]

- Thanks, you just saved my
things from being shattered.

Who did you say you were again?

- She is the new bodyguard
you ordered from Annabelle.

- No way, you're the Marine?

- This is my dearest
friend, Mimi, aka MJ.

- Good to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- You found it.

- Whoa.

Hey, it's Carl, Carl.

- What the hell happened to you?

- What?

Oh, an incident at the cocktail
party, a misunderstanding.

- Looks like they misunderstood
the shit out of you.

- Yeah, you mind?

- Boys.

- Vinny said you guys were good.

- We're out of Vegas.

- What's that got
to do with anything?

Never mind.

Look, I'm spending
a lot of money here.

Vinny said you were
doing me a favor.

- He said the same thing to us.

- I don't even know
who you guys are.

- Dirk, Dagger, Shiv.

- Shiv.

That sounds like something
you do at a bris.

Okay, let's just go
over the plan again.

All right, the event
starts at 10:00.

Everybody's gonna be
gathered out back.

- We come in from the front
from three directions.

- Dirk on the right,
Dagger on the left.

- And Shiv through the house
flushing out anyone inside.

- Then you gather us
all up, you handcuff us,

you take me hostage.

- Hold up, hold up, hold up.

We get to loot, right?

I know you paying us and
all, but all that hassle and-

- Did he just say loot?

- It's a fair question.

- You can have all the
Rolexes and fat wallets

you can stand, but
the egg is mine.

Once you get the loot,
you take me hostage,

we beat it down to
Mexico as fast as we can.

- There's the little
matter of money.

- Right.

Let's see.

- So, we get the other
half once we get you

down to Mexico, right?

- Right.

- What do we need you for?

- Why don't you guys
go out, have a good

time on me, okay?

Shiv. [laughs]

I'll, I'll be in touch.

Never mind, never mind.

- Watch out for snakes.

- Nobody told me there
was snakes in there.

Okay.

Damn it, ow, god.

- I think we should tell her.

- Tell her what?

Hey MJ, you're not
enough of a woman

to get a man, so
we hypnotized you.

- Yeah, something like that.

- Okay.

Go ahead, tell her.

- You tell her.

- No, you tell her.

- I'm not sure I like
the other MJ, really.

- I say, put her to the test.

- I like that idea,
I love that idea.

And there's something
I'm just dying

to do myself, too.

- I wanna take miss
Mimi to the cabana.

What do you wanna do?

- What do I wanna do?

I really can't tell you, you
wouldn't like me anymore.

- Who says I like you?

- Oh come on, you love
me, how could you not?

Hey, MJ.

Would you come here?

- Is this a game?

Yeah, okay.

What's up?

- Would you come
over here to me?

When I say go, okay lady?

Please listen, when I
say go, I want you to-

- Okay, whatever.

- Listen and learn.

When I say go, I want
you to walk from there,

over here to me.

- All right then.

[snaps]

Oh my.

Yes, hello, Craig,
it's so hot in here.

- Hi, Mimi.

Would you walk to me.

- I would, but
don't you think it's

a little silly request when
you could come over to me?

I would think so.

[snaps]

- Go.

[snaps]

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- No, I want you to have
a good time tonight, okay.

- Thanks.

- See you guys tomorrow, okay?

- All right, Craig.
- Good evening.

- What is with this
guy, I'm serious.

- Bye Craig.
- Bye bye.

- See ya.

- So, what's happening tonight?

- A night to remember. [snaps]

- That was so delicious, Sophia.

- Ladies, can I get
you guys anything else?

- Oh, how about some tequila?

- Tequila, all right.

- Have you ever had tequila?

- I don't think so.

- Two tequilas.

- Coming up.

- You think I'll like it?

- I think you'll love it.

[laughs]

Thanks so much for
joining me tonight, Mimi.

Just needed to
get out for a bit.

- Well, everybody needs a little

me time every once in a while.

- That's true.

- Hey ladies, my name's Guy.

Can I buy you guys a drink?

[laughs]

Well hello, Guy.

My name is Mimi,
and this is Sophia.

- Yeah, I've seen Sophia
here before, but you're new.

- Yes I am, I just arrived.

And we're both
drinking margaritas.

- Okay, great.

- I love them.

- Okay, I'll be right back.

- Thanks, Guy.

- I never had these
before, they're so good.

They make me feel
a little funny.

[laughing]

- Really?

- I knew our paths
would cross again.

- Do you know these guys, Mimi?

- No, I've never seen them
before in my whole life.

- You can't hide
behind that makeup

and that pussy-ass dress.

- I'm sorry sir, I
think you have me

mistaken with somebody else.

- I don't think so.

- Put her down!

I'm calling the police.

- You ain't calling the
police, gimme that phone.

- Don't hurt us!

- Don't hurt us. [laughs]

- Stop!

You're wrinkling my
shirt, and you need

a mint really bad.

Stop.

You should be
ashamed of yourself,

trying to hurt a defenseless
woman such as myself.

Please stop.

- Come on, payback time.

- What the hell's
going on over here?

- [snaps] MJ, MJ, return.

- Yeah, that's
right, that's right,

she can kick our
asses all by herself.

- You wouldn't.

- Sure is, buddy.

[shouting]

Sophia, who dressed
me like this?

- You've got nerve.

- I've got my skivvies on.

- Knife fight?

- Yes, yes!

Tequila, tequila, tequila.

Behind you, behind you.

[shouting and Latin music]

- You gotta do it yourself.

- Oh yeah, I like the tequila.

All right, you guys
want some more?

- Yo.

- All right, come on.

You and me.

One and one, mano a,
whatever the hell you are.

Come on, right now.

- Okay?

You know, I think I'm
just gonna go home now.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna just walk off.

- Don't you walk away from me.

- Don't you walk...

- Rawr.

Okay, put that down, Sophia.

[laughing]

Get over here.

- Help me up.

Easy easy easy easy.

- I am so tired of
her kicking our asses.

- Yeah, that's one
hell of an ass kicking.

- We shall never speak of this.

[moaning]

Where'd you learn to do that?

- Over in Thailand, quiet.

- Yeah, right there.

[phone rings]

- Dirk, I've been
calling you at the hotel.

You guys must've had some night.

- Yeah, we ran into
a little trouble.

- What trouble?

I said no trouble.

- Not to worry.

We got the situation well in
hand, we're dealing with it.

- Where are you?

- Ooh yeah, let me get
back to you on that.

- What, when do you
expect to begin?

- Let me get back
to you on that, oh.

[rhythmic music]

♪ I've been on tenterhooks,
ending in dirty looks ♪

♪ List'ning to the Muzak,
thinking 'bout this 'n' that ♪

♪ She said, "That's that, I
don't want to chitter-chat" ♪

♪ Turn it down a little
bit or turn it down flat ♪

♪ Pump it up, when you
don't really need it ♪

♪ Pump it up, until
you can feel it ♪

♪ Down in the pleasure center,
hell-bent or heaven-sent ♪

♪ Listen to the propaganda,
listen to the latest slander ♪

♪ There's nothing underhand
that she wouldn't understand ♪

♪ Pump it up, until
you can feel it ♪

♪ Pump it up

- Ms. Applebee, nice to see you,

so glad you could come.

- Yes, thank you Sophia.

- Where's Mr. Applebee?

- Oh, he's parking the
car or some nonsense.

I just had to get back in here.

What is that wonderful smell?

You know Sophia, of
all the charity events

that I attend, you always
serve the best food.

- Well, I owe it all to
my caterer, Mr. Robert.

- Oh, I'd love to
meet, meet him.

- I've never introduced you?

Oh, he's over there,
at the buffet table.

- Where?

- Behind the ham.

- Ham?

Ham.

- May I have your
attention please.

Firstly, I would like
to thank everyone

for coming today and for
supporting this worthy cause.

The money we raise
will do so much

good for so many.

Now, if you haven't
put your sealed bid

in the ballot box, you
must come up and see Lilly.

We're going to be
announcing the winner

of the Faberge egg at 10:00.

Thanks very much.

[applause]

- I can't do this.

- Of course you can.

- What if the same
thing happens to me

that happened at the cocktail
party the other night?

- You know what happened
the other night?

- No.

But I know I made
an ass of myself,

and I'm gonna make an
ass of myself again.

- You are not gonna
make an ass of yourself.

- I don't know, I just-

- Can't you remember?

- Why can't I remember?

- Cause there's
nothing to remember.

Now come on, come
and get dressed.

- Why?

- Oh bother.

Let me show you why.

Here, hold this.

- Sophia, I can't do this.

[shouts]

- Oh, miss, would you
take care of this please?

Mrs. Applebee was
eating in the car again.

- Hello Mr. Applebee.

- Hello Sophia, thank
you for inviting us.

- Oh, and miss, on your way
back, bring me a seltzer.

Have you seen my wife?

- Oh yes, I saw her by the ham.

- Holy crap, we're Jewish!

[whistling]

- Hello, you're Mr. Robert.

- Who knew, how are you?

- I'm very good, thank you.

- Honey, honey.
- Hi honey.

- No no no.
- Oh, honey honey.

- There's plenty,
there's plenty.

- You don't understand,
there's more than plenty.

- Craig.

- Look, I asked
you years ago not

to give those Applebees
my phone number.

- I haven't.

They could just look you up
in the phone book, you know.

- Well, they couldn't have,
they don't know how to read.

- Stop it.

Listen Craig, will
you take MJ upstairs

and make sure she gets
dressed for the occasion?

- Sure.

Why is she holding
the dirty dishes?

- And snap it up.

- Oh, yeah.

[snaps]

- Carl.

- Everything is
going as planned.

I mean, going well.

- Where is the security?

- They'll be here.

Don't worry your pretty
little head about it.

- I need to put the egg out.

- You can just
lay it right here.

- What?

- Put the egg out.

Put the egg out for
everyone to see.

- What is with you?

- Nothing, I'm just
glad it's happening.

So I can finally get away
from your wretched ass.

You know what, I'm gonna
need another one of these.

- Are you sure?

♪ I need a hero

♪ I'm holding out for a hero
'til the end of the night ♪

♪ He's gotta be strong

♪ And he's gotta be fast

♪ And he's gotta be
fresh from the fight ♪

- Wonder where Carl is.

I think he might like this.

This'll be fun.

I don't think this
outfit's going to work.

You look fabulous.

♪ Racing on the thunder
and rising with the heat ♪

♪ It's gonna take a superman
to sweep me off my feet ♪

- Mimi, Mimi, you okay?

Come on, ready?

Ready?

- That was very
awkward. [laughs]

- Not really.

Wow.

- I'm sorry.

- No, don't be.

- Little clumsy.

- That's okay, I
like clumsy, myself.

You look so beautiful, too.

- If I may say,
you look extremely

handsome tonight, yourself.

- Well, if you must say
it, you must say it,

say it, so say it again.

- You look very
handsome tonight.

- Again.

- You look very
handsome tonight.

- Wow.

May I escort you to the party?

- Yes, you may.

Has Sophia's associate
Carl arrived?

- Wow.

Unfortunately, yes, yes yes yes.

- You don't like him?

- No, I don't.

I think of him as I would a...

Let's just say I don't like
him, let's leave it there.

- You don't find
him stimulating?

[laughs]

- You're bullshitting me, right?

Excuse me.

- What's the matter, Craig?

- Yeah, is everything ready?

Y'all better be on time.

- Not a problem.

Dagger circumcised our
watches and analyzed

the parameter variables.

- What the fuck's that mean?

Circumcised watches.

Stupid ass man.

- Hey.

- Hello Craig.

- Annabelle, hello, how are you?

I have someone I
would like to meet.

Mimi?

Say hello to Annabelle.

- Hello Annabelle, it's
very nice to meet you.

- I believe we've already met.

- No, I don't think so.

If I had met you, I
would have remembered

such a delightful
woman as yourself.

- Uh-huh, excuse me.

Who is this, and what have
you done with the Marine?

- This is Mimi.

- I believe we've been
introduced already.

- Yes. [laughs]

- And this is MJ.

[snaps]

- Hey Annabelle,
what's going on?

It's good to see you.

- Craig, what are you up to?

- How did I get here?

[snaps]

Oh my goodness Craig, I think
I had a momentary blackout.

- Oh my goodness.

- I have a bit of a
headache, would you mind

if I went and got a refreshment?

- Not at all, dear.

- Thank you, I'm
sorry, excuse me.

- Dainty little thing, take care

of yourself, I'll
be right there.

- Sorry.

- Let me guess,
you used hypnosis.

Nothing I did worked?

- Ladies and gentlemen, may
I have your attention please?

At this time, I would
like to show you

the reason we are here today.

Someone will soon
be the proud owner

of a very valuable
piece of history.

But more importantly,
we are here today

so that we will
soon see the happy-

- Let's see the egg already.

- Very well.

Without further ado,
Lilly, if you please,

the Faberge egg.

[applause]

- That looks good, thank you.

That's so much better.

- Haven't I seen you
someplace before?

- [laughs] I'm sure you say that

to all the pretty
girls, don't you?

[snaps]

- I know.

Weren't you that girl at the
Mothsburg party two weeks ago?

Seemed we had a thing going.

- Hey, I don't wanna lie
to you buddy, all right?

Hey, Craig.

It's good to see you, too.

But who dressed me?

Look at me, I
mean, what is this?

- I wonder, garbage,
whose this is?

- What?

[gun fires]

[shouting]

- Everybody into the patio.

Move it now.

Move, move, move.

- You think you'll move quicker

if I shoot you in the leg?

Go!

Move.

You waiting for an invitation?

Go, go.

- Get up, please.

Get up Craig, get up Craig.

Craig, get up, please.

- Go go go go, move.

Left foot right foot,
left foot right foot.

Would you care to join us?

- No thank you.

- Oh, please do.

- Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, there.

Purse, please.

- There's nothing much in
it, just some lipstick.

Fuchsia, very good
color for you.

- Thank you, join the others?

- No thank you.

- I insist.

- Okay, all right.

- As my associates
pass among you,

please put all
wallets, cash, jewelry,

and purses in the bags.

Any funny business,
we'll shoot you.

- Move.

- Where'd they go?

- Carl.

- I was worried about you.

Where's the egg?

- What?

No, what's going on?

- I don't know.

They look like desperate men,
we should do as they say.

- Get down, give me
those, right here.

- No no no!

- Are you eating again?

Give me that pie,
give me that pie.

Get off!

Are you blind?

Get over there, get over there.

- You, watch.

Now.

No funny business,
or we'll shoot you.

- Wait a minute, did
he just wink at you?

- No no no, I spit in his eye.

- That looked like a wink.

- Really?

- Deposit it, baby.

- Boys, a little something
for your collection.

- Why don't you
come join us, now?

Give me the wallet, drop it in.

- Emergency.

No no no no, don't put me on
hold, don't put me on hold.

Rockefeller Warehouse.

Turn right, turn right, and
then there is a big house.

- Take off her ring.
- Gimme the watch.

- 333 Northeastern Way.

Please hurry, please hurry.

[shouting]

- Craig?

- Fight, lover boy?

- I love when the
plan comes together.

- Okay, that's all
of it, now what?

- We cuff them.

Everybody, hands
behind your back.

- Get down.

- Cuff her.

- Stay right there.

Carl, hold this.

- I knew he winked
at you earlier.

- Oh, for crying out loud.

- [Sophia] Carl, what
the hell are you doing?

- Shut up, Sophia.

You know what I'm doing.

I'm asserting my importance
to the foundation.

- You won't get away
with this, Carl.

- Sure I will, and
most importantly, I'll
get away from you.

- [Mimi] Take your
hands off of her.

- What's that?

- [Mimi] I said, please,
get your hands off of her.

- Is the little
Marine giving orders?

Hold this, you idiot.

I give the orders around here.

One word from me,
and I can take you

out just like that. [snaps]

- Carl, why am I
tied up like this?

- What?

- Please untie me, it's
hurting my wrist, please.

- You're still hypnotized.

- What are you
talking about, Carl?

[snaps]

Untie me, asshole.

[shouting]

- Hey hey hey hey hey hey.

If you plan on seeing
five more minutes,

I would get off of him,
you insufferable bitch.

Get up.

Okay, that's it.

Gimme the egg.

Gimme the egg,
gimme the egg now.

I saw you with
it, gimme the egg.

Where is it?

You know what, I'm
doing this all wrong.

Give me the egg.

I'm gonna put all your blood
in this, gimme the egg.

- Give him the egg, dear.

- Now.

- Okay, it's down there.

- Where?

What, in there?

- Not there, down there.

- Really?

Don't you move.

[laughing]

Now you, superwoman,
get over here.

- Carl, so far it's
just a robbery.

Don't make it a murder rap.

- Not to mention
breaking and entering,

battery, assault
with a deadly weapon,

and if it is murder, that is
possibly the death penalty.

- Okay, she's not helping, but
she does make a good point.

- Oh, shut up.

- Spineless bastard,
why don't you do me?

- Gee, I'd like to,
but I don't have time.

- What, because I'm not tied up?

- Because you're a girl.

- I am a Marine at heart.

- Oh yeah.

Snap your finger, now.

[snaps]

Mimi?

- Carl?

[snaps]

You make me puke.

- Snap your finger,
do it. [snaps]

- Carl, where do you keep going?

- Next person that snaps
their finger, shoot 'em.

- Listen, MJ, MJ,
you're being hypnotized.

Come back to us, you've
gotta snap out of it.

- Shut up.
- Please, MJ.

- Shut up.
- She's telling the truth.

- Shut up.
- MJ.

- Carl.

[shouting]

- Craig, you've
gotta go and help MJ.

She went that way,
towards the stables.

- Hold on, right
there, right there.

Pat him down, pat him down.

- This is not happening to me.

- I'll shoot you.

- Are you gonna shoot me?
- Oh, I'll shoot you.

- I don't want you to shoot me.

- It's mine now.

- Get off of me.

- You're caught.

- Okay tough guy, all right.

- Give me the pretty.

- You want this?

- I'm a little old for that.

- All right, come on out.

You know, you're a real pain.

Come on out.

[yelling]

- Hey!

Mine's bigger.

- Yeah?

You want some more?

- Freeze.

Get up, get up.

- You gonna take me?

- No, I have an
appointment tomorrow

to get my teeth
cleaned, I'm going home.

- Get over here, stop fighting.

Get over here, stop fighting.

Get over here.

- Ouch.

I mean...

[gunshot]

- Craig.

Are you okay?

Craig.
- Am I dying?

I hope not.

- Are you okay?

- I don't know, I heard a shot.

Hell of a party, huh?

I don't wanna die.

I feel like I'm dying.

I hope I'm not dying.

- I saved the egg.

- Wow.

How about saving my life?

Can you save my life?

And if you cook for
me, I'll show you

to put one of these together
with one hand, how about that?

Oh no, I think I'm gonna faint.

I am.

- You look beautiful.

- Thank you.

There's two, one for
you and one for me.

- Is it alcoholic?

- Would you like it to be?

- Yes.

- Okay, it is then.

- A toast.

- To...

To never getting shot again.

- Oh, I can do that.

Let's drink to a
whole bunch of things.

To...

Well, just one thing
really matters, that's you.

So, to you.

- To you.

- To us.

- To us.

Dinner shouldn't be long.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, there it is now, excuse me.

- There's what now?

- Oh, nothing.

- You're joking, we
were supposed to...

I'm gonna kill 'em,
I've had enough of this.

- Here we go.

- Wait a sec.

You cook and then bag your food?

[laughs]

That would be unique, I guess.

- I know I told you
I was going to cook.

I said I would
show you how, but-

- To put the gun together.

- If you cook dinner.

And I'm going to-

- Show me anyway.
- Anyway.

- We're gonna eat
here at this table,

so we can't leave it like-

- I'll do it.

I'll show you.

- Hey Craig, Craig-

- It's kind of like, I got it.

I remember, this is kinda
scary, not that scary.

You go like...

I don't remember
really, I forgot.

I don't know how to do it.

- Can I tell you something?

- What?

- I've never told this
to anybody before.

You bring out emotions
in me that I've

never felt in my whole life.

- You're gonna tell
me you love me?

Is that what you're saying?

Say it.

- I love you.

- Wow.

- That feels good.

- I love you too.

Ow, you hurt my arm.

- Sorry.

- You're stronger than me.

Aw, hell with it.

[gunshots]

- I've eaten worse.

- Nice breasts.

Turn around.

Great butt.

Posture a little stiff,
but good breeding stock.

All in all, what is the problem?

- I'm trained to
kill in 10 different

forms of martial
arts, specialist

in large and small
arms weaponry.

Certification to
transport, distribute,

and detonate all sorts
of explosive devices.

- Which means-

- Which means I can
blow your ass up.

Wonder where Carl is.

I think he might like this.

I don't think this
outfit's going to work.

Oh boy.

My, I do look a fright.

- Somebody call
heaven and tell them

they're missing an angel.

- Didn't see that.

[shouting]

I'm so tired of her
kicking our asses.

- Yeah, that's one
hell of an ass kicking.

- We shall never speak of this.

- Only doing it for you, Sophia.

You'll be proud of me, Sophia.

I like this one.

I'm coming, Sophia.

This is working out.

- You wouldn't.

- Sure is, buddy.

- Knife fight?

- Tequila, tequila, tequila.

Behind you, behind you.

[shouting]

- Well, if you must say
it, you must say it,

say it, so say it again.

- You look very
handsome tonight.

- Again.

- You look very
handsome tonight.

- Feels good.

- I love you too.

Ow, you hurt my arm.

You're stronger than me.
- I'm sorry.