Doris (2018) - full transcript

Bye.

Bye, Mom.

I know it's frustrating.

But it's not easy at your age.

LAUNDRY WORKER

POSTMAN

-A subsidiary?

-Yes, in Toronto.

How long for?

Well, as long as it takes.

But a year at least.

A year at least?

You're going to live on the other side

of the world for a year at least?

I can image that…

You just casually drop that in

here on Boudewijn de Haas' couch

-a week and a half before you leave.

-I understand that…

Jesus! You can't just drop everything.

You've got two kids.

And you've got

all the time in the world. It's ideal.

Well… I… I think…

Let's try and…

They need to learn to fend for themselves,

Doris. It'll be good for them.

Otherwise they'll wind up

aged 45 with no job,

no money, no husband. Nothing.

-Hi.

-I'm not doing too great.

-Or rather with us.

-What happened?

Let's just says it was

some senseless violence.

Would you like to come in?

I was about to go to the market.

In that case, I'll come with you.

And I'll pop in

to the bicycle repair shop.

-One year?

-Yeah.

But he's got a business here:

The business

of looking after his son and daughter.

-It's a pretty big deal.

-But the worst thing about it is…

he's actually right.

I'm 45 and I'm a tragic case.

No job, no husband,

no money, no plan.

I'm a mess, aren't I?

I'm just like Sien's pet mouse.

I'm just running in circles.

Pointless little circles

and I'm getting nowhere.

Everyone I know has a purpose,

or they're actively doing something.

Sarah has a stream of interesting cases,

you've got a flashy career in TV,

Walter is moving to Canada,

and I'm the only one whose life

has come to a complete standstill,

who sits on the couch every night

like some sort of Big Lebowski

-watching Bake Off.

-Three million people watch that.

All you see on Instagram is photos

of all these super successful people

making something of themselves

with their witty hashtags

and their friends and their cleavages.

And it makes me wonder,

where did I go wrong?

Which turning did I miss?

I mean, this is nothing like

how I had imagined it would be.

-I feel…

-Take it easy, Doris.

I think you're hyperventilating.

Sorry.

Sorry.

You know, Door,

we're all walking in circles.

The people going for a run,

or taking their Rottweiler for a walk,

they're also walking in circles.

They walk to the bridge,

walk along the water and walk back home.

The stupid thing is the older I get,

the less I understand it.

-What?

-Everything. Life.

-Well, how had you pictured it then?

-What?

Your life. When you were younger

and you pictured the future.

-I'm not going to tell you.

-Oh, go on.

I always wanted to study in England.

In one of those beautiful old university

buildings like Oxford or Cambridge.

And it would have

a bright green lawn in the middle.

And there I'd meet a handsome,

well-dressed literature professor,

-of course.

-Can I have two of those, please?

And together we'd drink too much tea

and have highly intelligent conversations.

Sounds like you've been watching

too many BBC dramas.

-Wrapped together or separately?

-Separately.

-Do Sien and Willem know?

-About our financial situation?

No, about Walter.

He's telling them tonight.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Here you go.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

-Don't you like daffodils?

-Oh, yes, very much. Thank you.

Sorry. Oh shit, I have to take this.

Hi, Lynn, sorry I didn't call you back.

Yes, OK, that's fine.

Email it to me and I'll give it a read.

OK. See you later, yeah? OK. Bye.

So, what are you doing for your birthday?

-Pretending like it's not happening.

-Sunday, right?

I'm not celebrating it. Can't afford it.

-What can I get you?

-A pound of green beans, please.

Maybe we could do something

with Sien and Willem?

Well it would have to be

a very budget-friendly activity.

-Anything else?

-A butterhead lettuce, please.

-We could go camping for the weekend.

-Camping?

It's the perfect antidote

to panic attacks and hyperventilation.

With Sien and Willem?

They'll think I've lost the plot!

It'll be fun.

Get out into the countryside.

And it means you won't have to worry

about throwing a party.

-Butterhead lettuce.

-And a pound of asparagus. That's it.

Hm, yeah, great. All of us camping

together, the great outdoors…

That'll be 8.50, please.

It'll be fine. The weather's going to be

lovely this weekend.

See?

HAVE YOU GOT A SLEEPING BAG

I CAN BORROW?

We'll be discussing the flooding

in Bangladesh in just a moment.

But before that, let's look at today's

parliamentary debate about tax increases.

Tim, you've been following the debate.

What can you tell us?

Emotions were running high,

even during the opening remarks.

It appears,

from the minister of finance's speech,

that his party, the Labor party

will need to retract

their earlier announcements

of tax increases for the highest earners.

The new measures proposed

by the minister are less far-reaching

than those announced

during the election campaign.

A notable change in policy…

Hi, sweetheart.

Listen, if you need some more money

to tide you over…

No, it's fine.

-I'm just gonna go and…

-OK.

Shall we just forget about

the responsible parent chat for tonight?

Yeah. Well, goodnight, then.

Oh, Tim asked if we want

to go camping with him this weekend.

-If you don't feel like it…

-If they've got Wi-Fi, I don't mind.

-Perhaps you'd like to invite Janne along?

-No.

Oh. OK.

Well, sleep well, then, eh?

Night.

I've decided to take some serious action.

Yeah, I can tell.

I've bought a book that tells you

exactly what you should and shouldn't eat.

I'm taking Friday mornings off,

and I've signed up for a half marathon.

-Jesus Christ.

-So now there's no backing out.

The kids are all grown up

and Daniel is never

not at the tennis club.

-So, I thought: now is the moment.

-Yes, you're absolutely right, sis.

"Be happy with the little things.

With the flowers, trees and bees."

"With the birds that sing,

and you'll always be at peace."

"From your sister Doris."

Not a bad philosophy for life.

Where are the damn things?

Saar?

Do you ever dream about someone else?

Someone other than Daniel, I mean.

Well, not very often, unfortunately. Why?

Lately, I keep dreaming about Tim.

Oh.

What kind of dreams?

Very kind of romantic,

costume drama type situations.

Yesterday, when I was at the market

with him, I suddenly thought…

What?

I'm going to give you a massive kiss.

-A massive one?

-Yeah. Massive.

Then he called Lynn.

You know, his colleague off the TV.

-They're together, right?

-They are?

-I thought I read it somewhere.

-Damn it.

I think I'm…

I think I'm jealous.

-It's very strange.

-Yes.

-Don't you think?

-Yes, it is a bit.

Generally speaking, I'm not

particularly inclined to kiss my friends.

-Even if I'm at the market.

-No, me neither.

-Does that mean that…?

-Yes, I think it does.

-But it's also kind of nice, isn't it?

-Nice? It makes it super complicated.

-Why?

-Because Tim is my best friend.

-So?

-He's always been there,

even when everything

is messed up and goes wrong.

He's just about

the only stable thing in my life.

So what?

-Well.

There's nothing to say

he has these 'massive kiss' feelings too.

-You don't know that.

-What's more,

you're telling me

there's something going on

between him and that mannequin

he sits next to every night

who never gets tongue-tied

and has 18,995 followers on Instagram?

It might not even be true. I thought…

If I bother him with this,

I might mess everything up

and it might never be fun

or nice between us ever again.

But if you say nothing at all,

it might turn into an even bigger mess.

Door, just tell him.

Just put two folding chairs by the tent

and say, "Sit down, Tim.

I've got something to tell you."

I really wanted to kiss you at the market.

Yeah. You'll be fine.

There you go. Have fun.

I'll call you later, all right? Bye.

-D.G. Dorenbos?

-Yes.

You need to sign for this.

Hi, Janne. How's things?

-Good.

Mom, the cheese is all gone.

And the ketchup too.

-Oh.

-The whole fridge is empty.

OK. I guess I'll go

and do some groceries, then.

WE BUY GOLD

Hey, listen, Tim,

there's something I wanted to…

something I wanted to talk to you about.

I've got something to tell you.

I've noticed…

Hi.

Let's sit down a moment.

There's something important

I want to talk to you about.

Would you mind

taking off all your clothes?

Sien, are you coming?

-What's this?

-A sky lantern.

A sky lantern. Of course.

-I think we've got everything.

-I hope so.

-Every summer with the scouts…

-I always wanted to do that.

Were you in the scouts?

Mom wouldn't let us. She thinks

the scouts are politically incorrect.

-That's right.

-I had the time of my life.

I looked forward to it all year.

We never went to a campsite.

No, we'd go wild camping.

Where did you shower?

No showers. We'd swim in a forest lake.

Nice and stinky.

Wonderful. Airing your manhood

in all that wonderful fresh air.

We'd dig a hole in the ground

and that was our toilet.

What did you do all day?

Look for tracks? Hunt foxes?

-Sing fascist songs, perhaps?

-We did nothing of the sort.

We were lovely little boys

with our short shorts and neckerchiefs

and badges that we were very proud of.

I promise to do my best

to be a good cub scout,

to help others whenever I can,

and to follow the cub scout code of honor.

-You can count on me.

-You can count on me.

-Where is Willem?

-Looking for a socket.

-Jesus, Mom.

-It's a classic tent.

-You know, the Albatross.

-Albatross?

Yes, with an awning and two rooms.

It's indestructible.

I've had it for 25 years.

-I'm going for a wee.

-You'd better be coming back!

After I undo this, it'll be up in no time.

We are the cubs,

And we love the forest

-You can have a run around--

-Give it a rest.

Listen, Mister…

it's the anniversary

of my father's death next week

and my mother has invited us all

to do

a sort of memorial ceremony type thing

-and she wondered if you'd like to come?

-I'd love to.

Really? Don't feel obliged to come.

-It'll probably be really boring.

-Of course I'll come.

Crikey, has it already been a year?

It's enough to make you crazy,

the way time just flies.

You make a couple of sandwiches,

take out the trash,

put up the Christmas decorations,

-and before you know it…

-And just like that you're 45.

Thanks so much for pointing that out.

-Perfect time for some mindfulness.

-Shove it!

It's very good for anxiety.

Pass.

It doesn't count

because you didn't say "last card."

-That's not fair.

-It's what we just agreed.

-I was finally going to win for once.

-Those are the rules.

Rules… Is that how it's going to be?

Is it going to be one of those weekends?

Stop whining, Mom.

The fascist boy scout comes crawling

out of his tent with his rules.

-You're just a bad loser.

-I am not.

-I'm going to open another bag of nuts.

-Hurrah!

-Have you ever been camping before?

-Sure. 33 years ago.

That's when…

That's when I went to England for a week

with my friend Marion and her parents.

We were camped next to

a young couple in a tiny little tent.

They spent the whole week,

and I mean the whole week, bonking.

-Bonking?

-Yes, bonking.

From early in the morning to late at night

with all the sound effects.

All the time there'd be an arm

or a leg pushing against the tent walls.

-Don't do that. You'll make the tent leak.

-Yeah, yeah.

The funny thing was

that for the whole week,

Marion's parents pretended

there was absolutely nothing going on.

Every now and then the zipper would open,

and out came two bright-red,

overheated, sticky 18 year olds.

I guess they were going

to get something to eat or do groceries.

And an hour later, off they went again.

Zipper open, tent closed, zipper closed…

-OK, Mom. We get it.

-Thanks. Can we go to sleep now?

Sorry. Sorry.

-Good night, guys.

-Good night.

-Good night, cub scouts.

-Sleep well.

-Are you warm enough?

-I think so.

-Scary dreams?

-No.

It's fine.

It's raining.

As it should be.

The ultimate camping experience.

-Sorry.

-Rubbish.

No, that was the wind.

It was the wind. It was.

Sorry.

Or a Biodanza workshop?

-Let loose a bit.

-Oh, wonderful.

What's happened here?

Has someone walked into it or something?

-That's odd.

-Yeah.

-Tim, I just wanted to…

-Mom.

Mom. They've got tandem bikes for rent.

-Oh!

-We should do it.

-I don't know, sweetie.

-That's a good idea.

-Is that at reception?

-Yes.

Great for middle-aged people like us.

Nice bit of cycling. I hope you brought

your functional windbreaker.

-Look! A squirrel.

-Ow. You yelled right in my ear.

Here's to a really lovely day.

Come on, then.

Tim, I…

Recently, I've…

Sometimes I think that I…

-You think you what?

-Well, that I…

Well, now I really want to know.

After the divorce,

I really thought I would never…

I mean, I had no desire

or inclination to… with anyone…

-To what…?

-I don't know.

At our age, we're so…

Well, who we are.

With an instruction manual as long

as your arm. And so stuck in our ways.

Especially with Willem and Sien in tow.

The three of us are this beautiful,

complex, fragile unit.

I always thought, how could we possibly

add anyone to that. It'd be impossible.

The whole structure would collapse.

-But?

-But…

Now, I'm starting to think

it might be possible.

With the right person.

For the first time,

I feel like that's what I really want.

Wait a minute. Are you saying…

Are you saying

you want to try and find someone?

-That's great.

-No.

Like on Tinder or something?

-No, no.

-Hi, Tim speaking. No. It's no problem.

Yes, I'm on a camp site near Kootwijk.

Yes, that's right. By the shifting sands.

What, really?

Oh, just with some friends.

-Mom, check it out. Mom.

-Door.

You have to make a wish, Mom.

Here it goes, Door.

For she's a jolly good fellow,

And so say all of us!

-Hip hip hurray!

-Hurray.

Well, Doris Dorenbos,

it's time for a little speech.

In every person's life,

there are good times…

-And bad times.

-…and bad times.

No, life will not spare us.

Thankfully,

there is such a thing as friendship.

Until death do us part,

in sickness and in health.

And when you know each other

as well as we do…

You know that I like apple sauce

with my pasta.

-Yuck!

-And I know you're not a very good singer,

and that you fancy men

in corduroy jackets.

-Is that your type?

-Yes.

When you know so many embarrassing,

call them intolerable things,

about each other,

then you can really speak

of a true friendship.

And to honor this heartfelt connection,

I would like to give you

this piece of jewelry. Please stand up.

Give me your arm.

Oh, that's so sweet.

-Took me a long time to save up for that.

-Very cool, Mom.

To my BFF, from Tim.

I had no idea what to get,

so this is a little joke.

Let me take you shopping

for something special.

Well, thank you very much.

-Another cup of coffee, Missus?

-Yes, please.

And then this birthday girl is going

to brave the creepy campsite showers.

-Hi, Lynn.

-Good morning, everyone.

-This is a surprise.

-Yes, I had some work things,

so I thought I'd bring them to you.

OK. Great. That's very kind of you.

-This is Willem and Sien.

-Hi.

And that is Doris Dorenbos.

It's her birthday today.

Yeah.

-Right, well, happy birthday.

-Thank you.

Would you like something to eat

or some coffee?

There's a cafe at the entrance.

Shall we go and sit there?

-It's probably quieter.

-Yes. Good plan. Let's do that.

-OK. See you later.

-Bye.

Bye.

Bit strange of her to visit, wasn't it?

-What do you mean?

-Well, I mean…

It's a bit odd for a colleague to turn up

out of the blue on a Sunday morning

on a campsite

an hour and a half's drive from Amsterdam.

Her parents live nearby.

But she could have just dropped those

papers in your mailbox, couldn't she?

Wim, could you give me a hand

with the washing up?

-Do I have to?

-Yes, you do.

Tim, can I ask you something?

I'm sick of it.

I'm behaving like a 13-year-old, Sarah.

Get rid of Sien and Willem for a bit

and then talk to him.

No, because I just don't know…

No, I just can't do…

See? As you can tell, I've taken on

some kind of totally incoherent form.

-I'm some sort of blob.

-Just talk to him, Door.

You'll feel much better for it.

How difficult can it be?

We are the cubs,

We love the forest

You can run around there,

And look for a fox

We swim and we cycle,

Lots of fun for you and me

There's nowhere in the world

I would rather be

-Bye, guys.

-I had a great time.

Me too.

Tim, could you sit down for a minute?

I want to tell you something.

It's important.

-Yes. I have something to tell you too.

-Oh.

I… Oh.

I had a really great time

with Willem and Sien.

I really enjoyed it.

And they absolutely adore you.

Well, the feeling's mutual.

What I wanted to say is, I…

I've noticed the past couple of months

that I've been longing for a family.

It's quite strange really,

after all these years of being a bachelor.

-I was always just busy with work.

-Do you mean…

Lynn is kind of in the same boat.

She's 36,

and she'd quite like to have children.

But…

But it's not something you can just…

It's… a huge decision.

Yeah. For sure. Totally.

-But this weekend…

-This weekend was really great.

Life isn't one long camping fest,

filled with pastries and ice cream.

It seems to me you have

a rather naive and romantic picture

of what it means to have a family.

-I don't think it's that bad.

-Sorry, but I don't think you realize

how demanding and tough it can

be to be responsible for children.

Well maybe it's high time I found out.

It's just that…

When you told me about your decision

to start looking for love,

I thought, yes, she's right.

I should be brave too and just go for it.

Wait a minute. You can't just

throw yourself into something

because you're in the same boat, Tim.

It's not exactly unexpected.

It's just I never

looked into it properly before.

But now suddenly you are?

Suddenly you're like,

it's Sunday May 17th, I'm going to start

a family with my colleague off the TV.

I'm not saying it's going to happen

immediately. All I'm saying

is that, like you, perhaps it's time

I got serious about it and…

Christ!

Why are you reacting so aggressively.

I understand that it would be nice

if I could be more enthusiastic.

I understand that.

But I just can't right now, OK?

I really like

how you've combined the chocolate

with the cookie dough and the nuts.

But the execution with the cream

is a bit greasy.

I like the idea,

but I'm not so keen on the result.

-A music cake.

-Fabulous.

-A Phantom of the Opera cake.

-I can see the logic.

Darling, you spent years

working for Walter.

You gave up your studies

to go and work in his first shop.

Don't you think I know that?

-So, it's perfectly normal to get alimony.

-I don't want to talk about it.

I'll find something.

I'm doing a trial shift

at a restaurant soon.

You never know, I might really enjoy it.

Here it is.

-Should I come and give you a hand?

-No, you've already got your hands full.

Look, it's from Tim. I found it

behind a cupboard. It's from 1987.

MY FATHER KEEPS DRIVING

ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD,

SO I DOUBT I'LL SURVIVE THIS TRIP.

FAREWELL AND SEE YOU

ON THE OTHER SIDE. BEST WISHES, TIM

The thing is, Door,

this house is full of memories.

-But that's nice, though, isn't it?

-Yes, it's nice but also not nice.

What's this?

The rose bush out there

was a wedding present from my parents.

It used to be in the garden of the house

where you and Sarah were born.

When we moved house,

Dad dug it up and we took it with us.

But it's too big to move now.

It wouldn't survive that.

-So that's a cutting?

-Yes.

I want to plant it in my new garden

on Sunday when we're all together.

A kind of symbolic… Well…

I thought we could honor it in that way.

-Do you want a sandwich?

-Yes. Good plan.

-Peanut butter or roast beef?

-Roast beef with loads of salt.

There you go.

-I'd like to pay.

-I'll be right with you.

-Did you enjoy that?

-Yes.

-Sixteen fifty, please.

-Can I pay by card?

There you go.

Thank you.

Oh, it says "payment unsuccessful."

Have either of you got any money on you?

-There you go.

-Thank you.

I'll pay you back, love.

Do you mind if Janne comes

to Grandad's memorial thing?

-Of course not.

-Tim's coming too, isn't he?

-Well, I actually don't know.

-Why? What happened?

-I thought he promised?

-Maybe he has to--

-Have you fallen out?

-Thanks. I'm just going to the bathroom.

Guys, this is Doris. She's doing

a trial shift as a server this evening.

-Hi, I'm Ahmed.

-Hi, Doris, I'm Gijs.

Great, so if you just…

OK, so that's two beers and… and…

a glass of red wine…

and a glass of water.

-And a gin and tonic.

-Oh, of course, sorry. Gin and tonic.

OK. I'll bring that out to you.

Gin and tonic.

-Table four have been waiting 10 minutes.

-I'm going over there now.

-It's Doris, right?

-Yes, that's right.

-What would you like to drink?

-A glass of Chardonnay, please.

Char… don… nay.

-How are you?

-I don't think we have that.

-I'll have a beer.

-One beer.

Is this your restaurant?

No, I work here for 7.20 an hour,

including holiday allowance.

I'll go and get your drinks.

-Everything all right?

-Yeah.

Doris, table six can be cleared

and table eight wants coffee.

Would you like to look

at the dessert menu?

No. We do not want to look

at the dessert menu.

Where is the restroom?

Over there in the corner,

by the sign that says "restroom."

-Jesus, Door.

-Sorry, it's a very awkward situation.

Yes, but you don't need to take it out

on Lynn. It's not her fault.

I've got two cappuccinos

going cold over there.

Hey, Doris, fancy a gin and tonic?

Sure. Why not.

If you don't want to,

you don't want to. Right?

-Do you want another one?

-Yeah, but after that mo nore.

-No more.

-Mo nore. Come here.

What are we doing, Mr. Grey?

-Let's not get too acrobatic, eh?

-Darling? Gijsje, are you asleep?

I got you a surprise.

God damn it.

God damn it.

Calm down, darling.

But we'd agreed. I wanted to surprise you.

-It's all right, darling.

-I can't deal with this.

We weren't going to do this anymore.

You're going to ruin everything.

You know that as well as I do.

When you say you need space

and you're going to sleep in the studio

for a couple of nights,

I should be able to trust you.

Otherwise, you need to be honest

and say there's someone else

I'd like to try stuff out with,

and then I'll keep my distance.

Do you understand?

So I can protect myself.

But she's not really anyone, you know?

I mean…

Do you realize how shit it feels

to stand here like this?

-This is so humiliating.

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I believe in us. I believe in this.

But if we're going

to allow each other that freedom,

that makes it a very fragile thing.

I know, darling. I don't know

what the hell I'm doing either.

I mean, look at me.

I bought a new bra.

I found a babysitter.

And I get here and…

Oh, jeez.

Oh, no.

Guys, have either of you seen my bracelet?

-No.

-No.

What's going on?

Why are you fully dressed

and eating breakfast

at nine on a Saturday morning?

Because Dad's expecting us

at quarter to ten.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

That's my girl.

You can always FaceTime me.

You need to get a haircut, son.

You look ridiculous.

Let's go.

Thank you so much.

I'll pay you back as soon as I can.

-How did it go at the restaurant?

-Not great.

What's next?

Tomorrow I'm going to apply

for a job as a postman.

I'm trying to convince myself

that it's a very romantic profession.

This one's for Willem.

And this one's for Grandma.

I think that's everyone.

-I thought Tim was going to come.

-No, he had to work.

-Have you guys got the cutting?

-Yes.

-Door?

-Hi.

-Hi, Tim.

-You came.

-I didn't know if you wanted me to…

-Come on.

-This is Janne.

-Hi, Tim.

Well…

Dear Dad…

I remember how you used to get up

really early in the morning

before our birthday parties

when we were little

to go and set up the treasure hunt.

And in the afternoon,

after we'd had soda and cake,

the whole gang of us

would go to the forest

to look for the clues you'd hung up

and hunt for the treasure, of course,

that was buried somewhere

deep in the dark, dark woods.

But one time, some little yobs had gone

and pinched almost all of the clues,

which meant we couldn't find the trail

and got completely lost.

It took quite a lot of lollies

to get us back in the mood for a party.

That's kind of how it feels

now that you're no longer here.

Life has become a treasure hunt,

but someone's taken away all the clues.

But luckily,

I've got some lovely people in my life

who lovingly push me

in the right direction from time to time.

Or they grab me by the collar

when I'm about to fall

into a deep pit of hyperventilation.

And it helps.

It really helps.

Other than that, I assume,

just like in the old days,

you'll be waiting for us

at the end of the treasure hunt

in your duffel coat

in the dark, dark woods by the tree

where the treasure's buried.

Well, that's it.

Sorry.

-I need to go.

I understand. It was wonderful,

really nice that you came,

on behalf of the others too.

I…

I think we should talk

about what's going on.

Because you were behaving

very strangely at the restaurant.

Yes.

It's good

that we're both moving on, isn't it?

Absolutely.

We can still be friends, right?

Otherwise, this whole treasure hunt

doesn't seem much fun anymore.

And we might as well forget

about the stupid treasure.

I don't think I can do it.

Do what?

Carry on the way it was.

I… I have to go.

I need to get to the studio.

Yeah, go.

This is it.

Well, for this season, anyway.

In the winter they'll give me

an equally practical,

slightly thicker weather-proof outfit.

Is it an option

for you not to work in our neighborhood,

but somewhere else instead?

-Have fun.

-Yeah. Good luck, Mom.

Do you need me to do it?

FRIENDS ARE SURE OF IT:

LYNN PREGNANT BY NEW COLLEAGUE

Hi, is your mom or dad at home?

-Mom.

-Coming.

Sorry.

I wanted to put this

through your mailbox,

but then it ripped.

-Who's that?

-No one, sweetie. Go and play.

I'm sorry about that,

and for…

-For the other thing.

-That and the other thing.

-Why are you angry with that lady?

-No reason, sweetie.

Well, I guess I'll be going then.

-Good idea. Kind regards.

-Mom…

Hang on a minute. That's my bracelet.

-Huh?

-Yes, that's my… That's my bracelet.

-Oh, really? Wow.

-Can I please have it back?

-It's mine, isn't it, Mom?

-No, it's mine.

My best friend gave it to me

and I'm very attached to it.

-Are you seriously going to cry now?

-It's mine.

Of course it's not yours.

Do you know what it says?

"From Tim, to my BFF."

Do you know anyone called Tim?

-It's mine.

-No, it's mine.

Get your hands off my child.

There, bitch. Take your damn bracelet.

Now get out of here.

-Cool outfit.

-I…

I'm not doing too great.

Well, actually, we're not doing great.

No.

Why didn't you call me back?

This new career opportunity

has been keeping me busy.

And to honest, I didn't feel like hearing

all your pink fluffy love child stories.

You don't believe all that stuff, do you?

I really think…

I really think

there are some things we need to discuss

if we want to stay friends…

-until death do us part, so to speak.

-Yes.

-But not right now.

-Why not?

It's not a good time.

Because…?

-Because I've got guests.

-Oh, OK.

Could we go and get a drink

round the corner instead then?

-Because I really wanted to…

-Now's not…

I just have to…

-I'll call you later, OK?

-Fine.

-Oh, you found it.

-Yes.

Darling, I don't feel very well.

Do you think

you could make dinner for you and Willem?

-Sure.

-I'm going to go lie down.

Mom, I'm home.

Mom. Mom.

Mom.

Mom?

She didn't wake up when I went in either.

Don't you think that's strange?

-Should I call Grandma? Or Tim?

-Yes. Call Tim.

Door?

Doortje?

I'm so cold.

-Could you fetch an extra blanket?

-Yeah.

-Dr. Schellekens is your doctor, right?

-Yes.

-There.

-I'll go.

Give her the first dose straight away.

You'll need to keep an eye on her tonight.

If something feels off, or her fever

gets worse, call an ambulance.

All the best.

Yeah?

How are you getting on

with your homework?

Not too bad.

OK. Well, sleep well.

Why are you and Mom fighting?

I…

Is it because you're having a baby

with Lynn?

We're not having a baby.

We barely know each other.

That's a relief.

I don't think you understand

how having kids works.

In what way?

Well, that it's strange

if to start with you're around a lot

for dinner and Saint Nicholas and stuff

and that it's really nice,

and then you have a great time

going camping together,

but then you suddenly disappear

and never get in touch anymore.

No…

I mean, yes.

I'm sorry.

OK.

Wim?

-Have you made a move yet?

-No.

My advice is, and it's probably best

you don't follow it,

because no one is better

at messing things up than me.

But in case you still want my advice,

then it would be this: Tell it like it is.

I think that's the least disastrous

of all the options.

-OK, sleep well.

-You too.

Sleep well, Door.

No.

No.

Doortje?

Doortje?

Door.

Doortje.

I must look drop dead gorgeous right now.

Heidi Klum's got nothing on you.

-Did you sleep here?

-The doctor told me to keep an eye on you.

That's very sweet of you.

-I'm just keeping my cub scout's promise.

-You can…

You can count on me.

Willem was at my place

when you called round the other day.

That's why I couldn't let you in.

He wanted my advice.

He's in love with Janne

and he doesn't know

whether or not to tell her.

When he saw you at the door

he was worried you'd feel sidelined.

I'm just really happy

he talked to you about it.

Yeah.

I actually felt quite proud.

Tim, I…

Good morning, Ms. Dorenbos.

I've come to see how you're doing.

Hi, sweetheart.

-Quite a bit better, it would seem.

-Yes, much better.

Hi, love.

-Have you heard back yet?

-Yes. She didn't dare to say it either.

-What's going on?

-Nothing.

Thirty-seven point six. That's very good.

Make sure you finish the treatment

followed by a week of taking it very easy.

Understood?

I'll see you out.

My darlings. Eat your breakfast

and go to school. Chop, chop.

Off you go.

HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE THIS ONE TOO

-Hi.

-Hello, Mom.

-We'll try… We'll try…

-That's it.

To be honest, I miss print journalism.

I've got a meeting

with the newspaper next week.

I need to tell you something.

It's important.

I'm so sorry

I put off telling you for so long,

and that I totally overcomplicated it.

But I just didn't know how…

What I should…

And, honestly, I still don't know…

what the future looks like for us.

There's nothing I want more

than to make stupid jokes the whole time

and stay friends forever,

for Sien and Willem's sake too.

But I don't know how to anymore.

Because when I see you and Lynn together

or think about your being together

I turn into this great big,

green, humorless monster.

So, the children are going

to stay with Walter for a bit

and then I'm going camping

with them in England.

I hope that by the end of the summer,

I'll be able to behave normally to you,

and that we'll be able to have nice meals

together again like this evening.

But without having to suppress the urge

to press you up against the wall

and tear all your clothes off.

I'll see you in a couple of months, Tim.

Look after yourselves.

What now?

We're going to find a bus

to take us to the campsite.

FOLLOW THE RED RIBBONS

Follow the red ribbons.

I…

I'm not literature professor

and, if I'm being completely honest,

I'm not that keen on tea.

But I can't imagine anything better

than talking to you all day long

about daffodils and payment demands

and about savory snacks and Bake Off.

Because the thing is,

my dear, awkward best friend forever

that for a very long time, you have been,

and I'm talking about as far back

as when ABBA were still around,

you have been the greatest,

mail-delivering,

hyperventilating love of my life.

And all my tragic attempts

to get together with anyone else

or to throw myself into something

were desperate attempts

by this poor soul

to try to come to terms

with what I thought was

the bitter truth.

So, if you would be willing

in between all our civilized conversations

and all our attempts at creating

responsible parental structures

where I'm not trying

to be Willem and Sien's father,

but in which I make it clear to them

that I like them much more

than any love child…

If you would be prepared,

in between all of that,

to pin me against the wall

once in a while…

and tear the clothes of my body,

then I think I will have to be

very careful not to die of happiness.

I thought about arranging a horse

for us to climb onto and ride off on.

Maybe you should just shut your mouth.