Dope Sick Love (2005) - full transcript

When you're a junkie, the money comes and goes--and so does the high. Do relationships stand a chance among addicts? Meet Matt & Tracy and Sebastian & Michelle--two New York City couples looking for love, and fixes, in all the wrong places. This startlingly candid documentary follows these two drug-addicted couples as they eke out a bare-bones existence on the streets of New York, desperately trying to score cash to pay for their next fix. The result is an unflinching, captivating examination of the human need for love and escape--and the virtual impossibility of finding anything more than temporary solace.

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( traffic passing )

FUCKING SHIT!

- YEAH, YOU LIKE
UNCIRCUMCISED GUYS, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.

80, 100, 20, 40, 60.

NO, COME HERE,
MOTHERFUCKER, WE'RE
TAKING A--

GOD, GIVE ME 24 HOURS
AWAY FROM THIS MADNESS.

TALK TO YOU.

( toilet flushes )

I'M FILLING OUT
THIS WESTERN UNION SLIP

TO RECEIVE MONEY
FROM MY FATHER



AND...

GET MATT AND I'S DAY
STARTED.

A LOT OF TIMES,
MATT NEEDS A BOOST
TO START THE DAY.

$100!

LET'S GO.

LET'S GO, JEEVES.
MY BAGS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HA-HA WHOA!

NOW, I'VE ALREADY
CALLED THE CRACK DEALER
AND THE DOPE DEALER.

WE'RE GOING TO 15TH AND 6TH
TO MEET THE CRACK DEALER,

THEN WE'RE GOING
TO HORATIO AND WASHINGTON
MEET THE DOPE DEALER.

THEN WE'RE GOING
TO THE SPOT TO SHOOT
THE DOPE, SMOKE THE CRACK,

FUCK SOME PUSSY,
EAT SOME DICK.

GET A HOTEL ROOM.
( growls )

- I'M ABOUT TO TEAR
THAT ASS UP, GIRL.
- DO THAT AGAIN.



- I'M ABOUT TO TEAR
THAT ASS UP, GIRL.
- MEOW!

MONDAY HE SENT HER 500.
TUESDAY HE SENT HER 300.

AY
AND (
IS ONLY WEDNESDAY.

SHE'S ALMOST GOING ON
$1,000 ALREADY.

SHE'S GONNA PICK LOCK
THE DOOR, SEE IF SHE CAN
GET IN

SO WE CAN GO IN THERE
AND GET HIGH.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

( whispering )
FUCKING IN.

I GOT INTRODUCED
TO HEROIN WHEN I WAS 17

IN HIGH SCHOOL,
PRIVATE SCHOOL I WENT TO,

RENEAUX ACADEMY,
MY SENIOR YEAR.

BUT I SNIFFED IT
TILL I MET MATT,

ENTIRELY CONFIDENT
I COULD GO BACK TO
JUST SNIFFING IT.

THE DIFFERENCE
IS JUST THE RUSH.

YOU'RE READY TO WALK
OUT OF HERE?

HUH-- COME ON.

WE HAVE TO GET SOMEBODY
TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR US.

IT'S USUALLY
MUCH EASIER THAN THIS.

WE'VE NEVER HAD
THAT MUCH PROBLEM.

- NO, OKAY.
- ( door buzzes open )

THANKS.

Man on intercom:
You've got the wrong
apartment.

OKAY.

- MICHELLE.
- YES.

CAN I USE YOUR LIGHTER,
BUDDY? I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I DID WITH MINE.

- THIS IS THE ONE
YOU GAVE ME.
- OKAY.

- ARE YOU OKAY, SEBASTIAN?
- YEAH.

- HERE YOU GO.
- COOL, THANK YOU.

I WORRY ABOUT SEBASTIAN
SHOOTING THE CRACK,

BECAUSE WHAT HE'S DOING
IS A LOT MORE INTENSE
THAN SMOKING IT--

AS YOU CAN SEE.
NOW-- NOW WATCH HIM.

HE'LL START TO GET VERY
NERVOUS IN A FEW MINUTES.

- YOU OKAY, SEBASTIAN?
- YEAH.

- NO BLOOD ON ME ANYWHERE?
- NO BLOOD.

ALL RIGHT.

Sebastian:
OKAY. HELLO.

WHAT I DO IS, UH--

I TALK WITH MEN--

SEE, THEY-- THEY--
WHERE WE'RE GOING

IS WHERE THEY PICK
UP GIRLS,

ST. MARKS PLACE.

IT'S A HOTEL.

CRACKHEAD GIRLS
HANG OUT THERE.

DRUG ADDICTS
HANG OUT THERE

AND MEN COME
TO PICK UP DATES THERE.

THESE GIRLS SETTLE
FOR NOTHING.

IF YOU TELL THEM
A HIT OF CRACK, THEY'LL
SUCK YOUR DICK.

I HAVE A LOT OF
PROBLEMS BECAUSE

I NAME A HIGH PRICE
FOR BASICALLY NOTHING,

'CAUSE I'M TRYING
TO ROB YOUR MONEY ANYWAY.

I-- I HATE IT,
'CAUSE I KNOW, SO YOU KNOW

SOMETIMES SHE CAN
GET AWAY WITH IT

AND SOMETIMES SHE HAS
TO DO SOMETHING FOR IT.

AND SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND
AND I DON'T LIKE OTHER GUYS

PUTTING THEIR HANDS
ON HER.

WE THINK I'M TRYING
TO DO THIS TO GET US
OFF THE STREETS.

IN OUR BRAIN,
WE BELIEVE THAT

BECAUSE WE'RE DRUG ADDICTS
AND WE'RE DREAMERS.

BECAUSE EVERY DIME
IS GOING ON DRUGS.
IT REALLY IS.

I MEAN I'VE BEEN
ON THE STREETS ABOUT
NINE DAYS NOW.

I'D SAY I MADE
ABOUT $1,200.

I DON'T-- I DON'T
EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR
CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW.

AND IT REALLY,
REALLY SUCKS.

- YOU'RE COMING DOWN OFF
THAT STUFF, RIGHT, HON?
- YEAH.

- SO IF YOU HEAR MY WHISTLE--
- YEAH.

TRYING TO MAKE
YOUR MONEY OUT HERE?
I HEAR YOU.

YEAH.

IS THAT YOUR MAN
ACROSS THE STREET
WATCHING YOU?

Michelle:
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE
MAKE SURE I'M OKAY.

THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S THE WAY
IT SHOULD BE.

NOW IF WE DO ANYTHING
ELSE BUT SMOKE, IS IT
GOING TO COST ME?

YEAH, IF YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING TO PAY
ME IN CRACK,

THAT'S NOT HOW
I LIKE TO GET PAID.

NO, EXCUSE ME,
I'M TALKING STRAIGHT UP.

YEAH, I NEED
TO MAKE CASH.

I UNDERSTAND THAT.
I'M TALKING STRAIGHT
UP, OKAY?

Sebastian:
YEAH, MICHELLE GOT IN
THE CAR WITH HER JOHN.

I JUST HOPE
THAT SHE DOESN'T--

SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING

YOU KNOW, SEXUAL.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED WAS--

I KEPT ASKING HIM,
WELL, WHAT IS IT
THAT YOU WANT?

AND HE WAS LIKE,
"WELL I LIKE 69.

I LIKE BLOW JOBS.
I WANT SEX."

- BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE ME
NO MONEY YET, BABE.
- RIGHT.

- SO NOW I CAN'T DO NOTHING.
I GOT NO MONEY.
- RIGHT.

WHAT AM I GONNA SAY?
ALL RIGHT, YOU LIKE ALL
THAT, THAT'S NICE.

SO THEN FINALLY I SAID,
"HOW MUCH AM I GONNA
GET PAID FOR THIS?"

HE SAID,
"I'LL GIVE YOU 100."
I SAID, "SURE, OKAY."

I SAID, "AREN'T YOU
GOING TO GIVE ME THE MONEY
TO PAY FOR THE HOTEL?

'CAUSE I CAN GET IT CHEAPER,
'CAUSE I KNOW THE GUY."

HE HANDED ME THE $40
AND THAT'S WHEN I SAID,

"YOU JUST HANDED YOUR MONEY
TO AN UNDERCOVER COP."

HE SAID,
"OKAY, ALL RIGHT."

I SAID,
"PULL OVER RIGHT NOW.
PULL THE FUCK OVER."

I SPENT 40 ON CRACK,

I SPENT 18 ON CIGARETTES,
I SPENT 10 IN THE DELI.

20, 40, 60,

80, 100,
20, 40, 60.

- SO 160 AND--
- 220, 220.

WE MADE 220 ON THAT.

MONEY THAT COMES THAT WAY,
YOU CANNOT HOLD ONTO IT.

IT JUST SLIPS OUT OF
YOUR FINGERS AND GOES,

YOU KNOW, IT WALKS
INTO THE FUCKING CRACK SPOT
BY ITSELF.

YOU KNOW, THE BASEMENT
IS ACTUALLY COOL TOO.

YOU WANNA GO TO THE TOP
OR THE BASEMENT?

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,

I HAVE MY PIPE STASHED
IN MY POCKET

BETWEEN MY BUTT CHEEKS,
NOT IN MY BUTT.

THAT'S RESERVED
FOR THE TRICKS.

Tracy:
I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM
AT FIRST SIGHT.

HE DIDN'T
LIKE ME WHEN WE FIRST MET.

HE TOLD EVERYBODY AROUND
THE PARK TO AVOID ME,
THAT I'M TROUBLE,

THAT I'M DADDY'S
LITTLE RICH GIRL.

YEAH, THAT I RUN AROUND
WITH DADDY'S MONEY.

- THAT I'M NOT A REAL
DRUG ADDICT, I'M A FAKE.
- ( both chuckle )

IF I'M DADDY'S RICH GIRL,
THEN HE'S EVERY HOMO'S LITTLE
FUCKING BOY TOY OUT HERE.

( chuckles )

MATT IS TRYING TO LOOK
LONELY AND PATHETIC.

THAT'S WHEN THE TRICKS
APPROACH HIM.

THEY KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE GETTING--

STRAIGHT GUYS
THAT ARE OUT HERE
TRYING TO MAKE MONEY.

IT'S AMAZING.
YOU WILL SEE GUYS COME OUT
HERE, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS,

MEET ONE OF THESE HUSTLERS.
THE HUSTLERS WILL GET THEM
SMOKING CRACK.

THREE DAYS LATER YOU'LL SEE
THESE GUYS ON THE PARK BENCH
DEAD BROKE, CAN'T GET HOME.

I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA
HAVE TOO MUCH SUCCESS
ON THE STREET ITSELF.

I THINK CALLS WILL BE
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL THING.

MATT, WHY DON'T YOU
TRY A PHONE?

HEY, BABY, WHAT'S UP?

IT'S MATTHEW CALLING TO GET
MY WEEKLY BUTT WASHING.

I'M IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
PARTYING, GETTING IT ON,

SO I THOUGHT MAYBE
I COULD DO IT A LITTLE SAFE
AND HAVE SOME FUN.

ALL RIGHT.
I'M FEELING YOUNG.
BYE.

- THAT'S GOOD.
I SAID THAT'S GOOD.
- OH, THAT'S GOOD?

YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.

WE HAVE A GOOD
TIME TOGETHER.

ALL RIGHT, GOTTA GO.

- OKAY.
- TALK TO YOU.

THANKS A LOT, SCOTT.

- OKAY, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
- BYE, BYE.

TRACY AIN'T FROM
THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW?

THIS IS ALL NEW TO HER.

I MEAN SHE'S NEVER EVEN SEEN
THIS SIDE OF LIFE

UNTIL SHE MET ME
A YEAR AGO.

SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT
HE'S EXERTING SO MUCH
EFFORT AND ENERGY

INTO ENTICING
AND LANDING THESE TRICKS

THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE
ANYTHING LEFT FOR ME,
YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, IT'S THE SAME THING
ABOUT SEX.

I ALWAYS FEEL THAT SEXUALLY,
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES
FOR A LIVING.

SO IT'S THE LAST THING
HE REALLY WANTS TO EVEN,
YOU KNOW,

UH, ADDRESS OR DEAL WITH
WHEN HE'S WITH ME.

YOU CAN GET TRAPPED
AND CAUGHT UP IN THIS LIFESTYLE.

AND ONCE YOU CROSS
A CERTAIN BOUNDARY,

IT'S LIKE THERE'S
NO TURNING BACK, YOU KNOW?

THIS IS THE ONLY LIFE I KNOW.
I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE
I WAS 14.

I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT
WHEN I WAS 12

THAT WIPED OUT ANY MEMORY

I HAVE OF MY CHILDHOOD.

SO I ONLY REMEMBER
AS FAR AS 12 YEARS AND OLDER.

AND SINCE I'M 12,
I WAS SCALPING TICKETS
TO THE GARDEN.

13, YOU KNOW,

STARTED MOVING DOWNTOWN
WITH THE CONS

AND THE-- THE HUSTLES
IN PENN STATION

SWEET-TALKING
PEOPLE OUT OF MONEY,

ALL THE WAY DOWN INTO

GREENWICH VILLAGE
HUSTLING HOMOS.

YOU KNOW, SO I'VE BEEN
HERE ALL MY LIFE.

THIS HAS BEEN
EVERYTHING I KNOW.

Sebastian:
SO COLIN, MY FRIEND,
WHAT'S UP?

WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH YOU?

YOU LIKE UNCIRCUMCISED
GUYS AS I RECALL, RIGHT?

YEAH.

YEAH, I LIKE REDHEADS.

- REDHEADS?
- YEAH.

I'M CLOSE TO IT,
BLOND.

SO WHY DON'T WE HANG OUT
FOR A LITTLE BIT?

I DON'T KNOW.
HOW MUCH MONEY
DO YOU WANT?

- HOW MUCH CAN YOU GIVE ME?
- 20.

30?

- OKAY.
- COME ON.

Colin:
YOU HAVE TO CALL
BEFORE YOU COME OVER.

Sebastian:
I NEVER COME UNINVITED.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

HE'S SUCKING MY DICK

AND I'M THINKING ABOUT
WHAT AM I GONNA DO AS SOON
AS I GET THE MONEY, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
I'M ABLE TO--

TO FOCUS I GUESS AND--

AND DO WHAT I GOTTA DO
BECAUSE...

I KIND OF LIKE PUT MYSELF
OUT OF THERE.

I'M NOT--
I'M THERE, BUT I'M REALLY--

MENTALLY I TRY TO LIKE
BE SOMEWHERE ELSE.

THIS IS WHY
OUR RELATIONSHIP SUCKS,

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BOYFRIEND
AND GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE.

WE'RE-- WE'RE RUNNING
PARTNERS, YOU KNOW?

AND IT'S LIKE,
I'M VERY GOOD TO SEBASTIAN,

EVEN THOUGH
I'M POISONING HIM.

CAN I COME DOWN, BABE?

WHEN WE FIRST MET,
WE DIDN'T GET HIGH
TOGETHER AT ALL.

AND WE ALWAYS USED TO SAY,
WHEN WE GET HIGH TOGETHER

IT'S OVER.

MY HUSBAND OVERDOSED
AND DIED

AND MY BOYFRIEND
OVERDOSED AND DIED.

I'VE OVERDOSED
PLENTY OF TIMES.

( chuckles )

I DON'T KNOW
IF I COULD SURVIVE A THIRD.

( crowd chatting )

( door slams )

I'M SPENDING THE DAY
AT MY MA'S HOUSE.

I WON'T DO DRUGS
AROUND MY MOTHER.

I THINK IT WOULD
KILL HER IF SHE KNEW
I WAS SHOOTING HEROIN.

Ma
WE CAN TAKE THIS ONE.

I HAVEN'T BEEN
DOWN THIS WAY IN YEARS.

IT'S A BURNT OUT
FUCKING NIGGER TOWN.

THE GHETTO, THE SLUMS.

BUT MY MOM'S BLOCK
IS PROBABLY THE ONLY BLOCK--

FUCKING WHITE BLOCK
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
AND THAT'S CHANGED.

I THINK SHE'S THE ONLY
WHITE FAMILY NOW.

BUT I GREW UP HERE.
I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.

THIS IS WESTSIDE CEMETERY.

I USED TO SMOKE DUST
IN THERE WHEN I WAS
LIKE 11 YEARS OLD.

( bell rings )

IT'LL BE OKAY, COME ON.

THIS WAS THE FIRST HOUSE
MY MOM MOVED INTO

WHEN SHE MOVED
TO THIS BLOCK.

ALL THE WORK, THE ALUMINUM
SIDING AND EVERYTHING, MY
FATHER DID EVERYTHING.

HE HAD A HEART ATTACK
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.

HE DIED A COUPLE
OF MONTHS AGO.

YOU KNOW I GOT
LOVE FOR YOU.

YOU BETTER HAVE
MONEY FOR ME.

THIS IS MY MOM,
DOROTHY CALHOUN.

THIS IS HER DREAM.
SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED A HOUSE.

SHE GOT ONE
ON THE SAME BLOCK

SHE CAN'T SEEM TO GET OFF
OF FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS.

I'M HERE FOR AT LEAST
30 YEARS UNTIL THE HOUSE
IS PAID OFF AT LEAST.

Ma
IT'S GOING TO BE THAT LONG?

YEAH, BUT I'LL LEAVE
THE BILLS FOR YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I'M THROWING AWAY THAT OLD--
- NO, MATT, NOT HERE.

MA, IT'S A CHEESECAKE THING.
YOU DON'T NEED THAT.

MATTHEW, THIS IS RECYCLING.

THIS IS MAIL TO GO IN
THE MAILBOX, THANK YOU.

SOME COCOA PEBBLES,
I LOVE IT.

SHE STILL KEEPS
THE BEST CEREAL.

OW!
DON'T CRY OVER SPILT MILK.

THERE'S MATTHEW TOO.
HEY, MATTHEW.

I WAS TWO YEARS OLD THERE,
1976.

HE WAS A GOOD CHILD.

HE WAS
AN A-NUMBER-ONE BABY.

- WHO ME?
- YEP, YOU WERE.

AND THEN YOU GREW UP.
( chuckles )

- LOOK AT ANDREW.
- WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS ME AND MY SON
AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S.

I WAS SEEING HIM
EVERY WEEKEND THEN.

MY LITTLE MAN.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
IN LIKE NINE MONTHS.

- ( music box playing )
- I CAN'T-- I CAN'T DEAL
WITH ANY OF IT ANYMORE.

- HUH?
- I SAID I CAN'T DEAL WITH
YOUR ROUGH LIFE ANYMORE.

- YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MA?
- I LIVED WITH IT
FOR TOO LONG.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MA?

I ALMOST CAN'T DEAL
WITH IT ANYMORE.

I'M GETTING TIRED OF IT.

- GO HOME, GO HOME, GO HOME.
- ALL RIGHT.

- I LOVE YOU, MA.
- I LOVE YOU TOO. GO.

I'LL TALK TO YOU IN A WEEK.

- LOVE YOU.
- LOVE YOU TOO.
BE GOOD.

YEAH, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO GO BACK TO FUCKING HELL.

( Matt sniffing )
THAT WAS SO NORMAL.

- WE HAVE TO--
BABE, BABE, BABE--
- WE GOT TO GET DOPE.

- WE GOT NO MONEY.
- IF YOU CALL YOUR FATHER

AND YOUR FATHER
GUARANTEES YOU TOMORROW

WE'LL GO RIGHT TO TERRY'S.

SHE DOES NOTHING FOR HIM,
SHE BRINGS HIM DOWN.

HE BRINGS HER DOWN,
SHE BRINGS HIM DOWN,
WHICHEVER.

YOU KNOW,
THEY DO NOTHING
FOR EACH OTHER.

OH MY GOD, BABY.
THAT GETS ME NERVOUS.

IF SHE YOUR GIRL,
WHY THE FUCK

IS SHE FUCKING
EVERY PIPEHEAD OUT HERE?

WHY THE FUCK SHE INVITING
ME TO SOME APARTMENT UP
IN FUCKING HARLEM?

- MAYBE SHE WAS
HORNY THAT DAY.
- GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

- SHIT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW.
- YEAH, AND THAT'S YOUR GIRL?

- AND THAT'S YOUR GIRL?
- THAT'S MY GIRL!

I'M TELLING YOU IT'S MY GIRL.
IN MY HEART IT'S MY GIRL.

YOU ABOUT TO TURN ON ME.
YOU A FAKE MOTHERFUCKER.

I'LL FUCK THAT
BITCH UP RIGHT NOW.

- NO YOU WON'T.
- NO I WON'T?

- I'M TELLING YOU YOU WON'T.
- WHAT?

- I'M TELLING YOU.
- YOU WANT TO DO
SOMETHING TOO?

I'M TELLING YOU
YOU WON'T, SHAWN.

- WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
- I'M TELLING YOU.

- WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NOW?
- YOU WANT TO FIGHT WITH ME?

YOU'RE TURNING
ON YOUR BROTHER?

- IF YOU'RE GONNA TURN ON ME,
THEN THAT SHIT IS DEAD.
- IT'S DEAD THEN.

- THEN IT'S DEAD.
YOU A FAKE MOTHERFUCKER.
- CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.

- A FAKE MOTHERFUCKER.
- CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.

BUT WHEN YOUR BITCH COMES UP
MISSING, COME AND SEE ME.

WHEN SHE COMES UP MISSING,
COME AND SEE ME.

HIS BROTHER'S RARELY THERE,
IF EVER,

TO CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING
POSITIVE OR BENEFICIAL
TO MATT'S LIFE.

YET AT THE SAME TIME,
HE CARES SO DEEPLY ABOUT MATT

AND IS SO, YOU KNOW,
WORRIED

ABOUT MATT'S LIFE
AND MATT'S WELL-BEING

THAT HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT
MATT FROM BEING WITH ME,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I'M NOT GOOD FOR MATT.

I'LL JUST WRITE HIM OFF.

JUST LIKE THAT.

Shawn:
THE FIGHT BETWEEN ME
AND MY BROTHER

IS ACTUALLY THE FIGHT
BETWEEN HIM AND THEM DRUGS
THAT HE'S DOING.

THAT'S WHAT'S GOING
TO KILL HIM.

IT SEEMS LIKE HE'S LIVING
A SUICIDAL MISSION.

THIS IS NOT THE SAME DRUG.

FUCK, MAN.

( car honks )

THE GARBAGE IS EMPTY

AND THOSE ARE PROBABLY
FUCKING SOPPING WET, BABE.

SEBASTIAN IS LOOKING
THROUGH THE GARBAGE FOR
RECEIPTS RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
ANY MONEY AND WE WANT
TO GET SOME DRUGS.

SO HE'S GONNA
GET RECEIPTS

AND WE'RE GOING TO THE STORE
AND RETURN THE MERCHANDISE.

SOMETIMES HE HAS TO GO
THROUGH THREE OR FOUR
BAGS OF GARBAGE

BEFORE HE CAN FIND
A RECEIPT.

IT'S KIND OF JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER SCAM, YOU KNOW?

SOME DAYS WORK OUT SMOOTH,
SOME DON'T.

HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO, SEBASTIAN.

GOOD EVENING.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

I BOUGHT SOMETHING
IN YOUR STORE.

IS IT POSSIBLE
I CAN RETURN IT IN
A DIFFERENT D'AGOSTINO?

THANK YOU, SIR.
WHOO!

ARE YOU LOOKING,
SEBASTIAN?

YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING
TO GET CAUGHT.

HERE, HERE WE GO.
HOLD THIS. JUST HOLD IT.

( register beeps )

UH, I'M RETURNING THIS.

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
JUST CALLED THE STORE

A FEW MINUTES AGO.
I DON'T KNOW WHO
SHE SPOKE TO.

- LET ME SEE THIS.
- HERE YOU GO.

LEWIS, SHE WENT TO GREENWICH.
SHE'S RETURNING THIS.

SHE JUST CALLED THE STORE.

SHE SAID SHE SPOKE
TO A WOMAN.

SO YOU DON'T KNOW IF
ANYONE TOOK THAT CALL...

THAT SHE SPOKE TO A WOMAN?

- NO.
- NO, HUH?

THAT FIGURES.
OKAY. THAT'S BULLSHIT.

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK,
SEBASTIAN?

YOU DID NOT CALL THAT STORE.
YOU CALLED THE STORE
ON THAT RECEIPT.

YES, I DID.

NO WONDER WHY.
THAT IS NOT THE STORE
THAT'S ON THE RECEIPT.

I DIDN'T HAVE THAT NUMBER.

SO YOU JUST DO
WHAT YOU WANT

AND SEND ME IN
SOMEWHERE WITH FUCKED UP
INFORMATION, RIGHT?

I NEVER TOLD YOU.

WELL, THAT'S HOW
I TOOK IT, SEBASTIAN.

YOU KNOW, COMMON SENSE--
I WOULD THINK

YOU WOULD CALL THE STORE
THAT I'M GOING INTO.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I'M NOT FUCKING NORMAL,

BUT THAT'S WHAT I WOULD
THINK THAT YOU WERE DOING,

NOT CALLING A DIFFERENT STORE
AND THEN SENDING ME INTO THE
STORE THAT YOU DIDN'T CALL.

SO THIS IS MY FAULT
AND THEN I ROB THE STORE.

THAT WAS EVEN BETTER.
AND THEN I ROB THE FUCKING
STORE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND I COULD
GO TO FUCKING JAIL

FOR A YEAR FOR A FUCKING
BOTTLE OF TIDE?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
FOR MONEY, SEBASTIAN?

I DON'T WANT TO PICK
IN FUCKING GARBAGE, MAN.

FUCKING DISGUSTING.

OH, OH, FUCK.

- SEBASTIAN, I GOT
A FRAME FOR $14.99.
- WHAT IS IT?

JUST A PICTURE FRAME.
4X6, THAT'S SMALL, RIGHT?

- $14.99.
- HOLY SHIT, HELL YEAH.

( Muzak playing )

GOT IT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I THINK SO, 'CAUSE
I TOOK THE CALL.

THE GUY WHO
RETURNED A PHONE,

HE WAS LIKE,
"IT DIDN'T SOUND RIGHT."

I SAID, "THE PHONE
WAS NEVER OPENED."

THANK YOU.

DID YOU MAGICALLY
USE THIS BOX?

HE JUST LEFT.

OKAY.

I THINK I GOT 15.

I GOT BULLSHIT.
THIS IS NOTHING.

LOOK, MY FEET HURT.
I NEED DOPE.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO,
SEBASTIAN?

'CAUSE I NEED LIKE PILES
OF MONEY, FORGET THIS SHIT.

BUT A HIT OF CRACK
WILL DO FOR NOW.

BABE, LISTEN, WE GOT
TO GO OVER TO ST. MARKS
AND MAKE MONEY.

I'M GOING TO USE
THE BADGE TONIGHT,

THE NYPD MONEY CLIP
THAT LOOKS LIKE THE BADGE
I GOT FROM THAT JOHN.

- YEAH.
- SO I CAN PRETEND
THAT I'M A DETECTIVE.

I'LL JUST FLASH
IT IN FRONT OF THEM
REAL QUICK, ALL RIGHT?

IF THEY'RE INTIMIDATED
AND SCARED, THEN I KNOW
IT'S GONNA WORK.

IF NOT, THEN I GET OUT
WITH WHATEVER I GOT.

- ( door squeaks )
- ARE YOU A COP?

- Man: NO, ARE YOU?
- OH, NO.

Man:
I TOUCH YOU,
YOU TOUCH ME.

THAT'S SO SILLY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

- ED. YOU ARE?
- CATHY.

CATHY.

WELL, I NEED
TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON, OKAY?

- YOU JUST HANDED YOUR MONEY
TO AN UNDERCOVER COP.
- OH.

- YOU WANT TO TRY
AND MAKE A DEAL?
- YEAH.

- DO YOU WANT ME TO TRY
AND GET YOU OUT OF THIS?
- YEAH, YEAH.

PARK THE FUCKING TRUCK.

NOW I'M GOING TO TELL YOU,
30 GUYS WENT ALREADY TONIGHT.

30 ARE IN JAIL.
THREE GOT LET GO.

- SHUT YOUR TRUCK OFF.
- ( lock buzzes )

WHOA, WHY ARE YOU
DOING IT LIKE THAT?

I'M SCARED NOW.
YOU MADE ME ALL NERVOUS.

- NO, CALM DOWN.
- WELL, LET ME-- HANG ON
A SECOND.

OH, NO, NO, NO, LET GO.
DON'T DO THAT, LET--

- HOW COME YOU'RE
TAKING MY KEYS?
- HEY, CLOSE THAT DOOR.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH MY KEYS?

STOP IT!
NOW YOU'RE GETTING
ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.

- WHY ARE YOU TAKING MY KEYS?
- I'M NOT. GET BACK
IN THE TRUCK.

YOU'RE GETTING
ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT NOW.
THAT'S THE OTHER DETECTIVE.

- ( car alarm blaring )
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

MY SERGEANT-- MY SERGEANT
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
COME ON.

COME ON, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT,
I'M GONNA LET YOU TALK
TO MY SERGEANT.

- LET ME SEE CREDENTIALS.
- HE'S GETTING IT EXPLAINED
TO HIM.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
COME ON, MY SERGEANT
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

- GO AHEAD, YEAH.
- I CAN WALK?

GO AHEAD, I'M NOT
CUFFING HIM.

GO AHEAD, HE'S NOT
CUFFING YOU.

WAIT, WAIT,
I'M REALLY SCARED NOW.

STOP IT.
HE'S NOT CUFFING YOU.

I JUST TOLD HIM
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

DO YOU HEAR ME?

I SENT HIM AWAY.
COME ON.

( Michelle laughing )
GO AHEAD, MOTHERFUCKER.

BUNNY, WHERE ARE YOU?

HE HURT MY HAND
REALLY BAD.

ALL I GOT IS 20 BUCKS,
SEBASTIAN.

HE GOT TOO SCARED.
HE GOT TOO SCARED.

DON'T EVER--
DON'T DO THAT.

WHAT YOU DID,
DON'T DO THAT NO MORE.

- IF I NEED HELP,
I WILL SAY HELP ME.
- OKAY.

YOU SCARED THE LIVING FUCK
OUT OF THAT KID, MAN.

LOOK AT YOU AND LOOK
AT ME, WE DEFINITELY
DON'T LOOK LIKE COPS.

BUT HE FUCKING HURT
MY HAND THOUGH, MAN.

I HAD HIS KEYS.
HE FUCKING--

BOTH MY FINGERS WERE
IN HIS KEY RING.

I THINK I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR
DURING THE WEEK-- BLACK.

I MAY HAVE TO DYE
MY HAIR BLACK FOR
A WHILE, SEBASTIAN,

IF THIS STARTS
TO GET TOO WILD

AND THEY START
LOOKING FOR A BLONDE.

Michelle:
I'M MEETING A GUY
IN A GREEN MAXIMA,

GETTING INTO THIS CAR
RIGHT HERE AND I'M GOING
TO RUN MY SCAM ON HIM.

( Michelle laughing )
HI, HOW ARE YOU?

Man: I WANT YOU TO DO
SOMETHING TO ME SO I KNOW
YOU'RE NOT A COP.

- WHAT?
- TAKE OUT YOUR TIT
OR SOMETHING.

- TAKE OUT MY TIT?
- YEAH.

WAIT, I GOT
TOO MANY SHIRTS ON.
WHERE WE OFF TO?

UH, PARKING LOT.

COME HERE.

OH, YOU CAN'T KISS ME.
YOU'RE GONNA CATCH MY COLD.

I HOPE YOU DON'T KISS
EVERYONE YOU MEET.

- NO, I DON'T.
- YOU'LL END UP GETTING
SORES ON YOUR MOUTH.

SO YOU JUST WANT WHAT?
BLOW JOBS?

- YEAH.
- OKAY.

SWEAR TO ME
YOU'RE NOT A COP.

- I'M NOT A COP.
- YOU'RE NOT A COP?

- I'M NOT A COP.
- OKAY.

- WHAT DO YOU GET, BY THE WAY?
- WHY, WHAT ARE YOU GIVING?

- 20.
- THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

- ( paper crinkles )
- THIS 20 REAL?

I'M A DETECTIVE.
DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVES.

I DON'T HAVE TO CUFF
YOU OR NOTHING, DO I?

I DON'T WANT NO TROUBLE.
I GOT A FAMILY, KIDS.

OKAY, ARE YOU READY
TO TALK TO ME?

WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?

- WANT A DEAL OR YOU
WANT TO GO TO JAIL?
- I WANT A DEAL.

OKAY, WE'RE BUILDING
A REHAB AND A SHELTER.

YOU WANT TO MAKE
A DONATION TO THAT

INSTEAD OF GOING TO JAIL
AND PAYING $5,000?

- YES.
- HOW MUCH CAN YOU DONATE?

ALL THAT I GOT
IN MY WALLET--
ABOUT 20.

- NO, NO.
- HOW MUCH?

HUNDREDS, THEY'RE SPENDING
HUNDREDS, THEY'RE--

HONEY, THIS IS ALL I GOT.
I MEAN, NOT HONEY.

EXCUSE ME, OFFICER.
THIS IS WHAT I GOT
IN MY WALLET.

YOU HAVE AT LEAST--
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

( man sighing )

60, WAIT, 75,
77 AND THAT'S 97.

- PAY THE 100-- OKAY.
- OKAY?

I'LL PUT IT IN THE OTHER.
YOU PROMISE TO NEVER--

PROMISE TO NEVER
COME BACK HERE.

- NEVER?
- NEVER COME BACK ON 11TH
AND 12TH STREET, NEVER.

YOU CAN PULL OUT.
NO ONE IS GOING
TO ARREST YOU.

- YOU DON'T WANT
TO SEE ME IN COURT.
- NO, I DON'T.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
SOMEONE THAT BELONGS THERE.
IT WAS STUPID OF ME

TO EVEN BE HERE.
STUPID FOR A LOT
OF REASONS.

Michelle:
OKAY.

BUT IT'S VERY NICE
OF YOU, $100 OR NOT,

TO GIVE ME THAT KIND
OF OPPORTUNITY.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME
YOU'LL BE ON THIS STREET,
RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- GONNA GO STRAIGHT
HOME NOW, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

- I GOT YOUR WORD, RIGHT?
- YES.

GOODBYE.

DON'T LOOK BACK.
DRIVE STRAIGHT OUT.

GIVE ME MY
SNAPPLE BOTTLE.

BEHAVE.
I HOPE I DON'T
EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

20, 40, 60, 80,

95, 96, 97.

OKAY, I THOUGHT I HAD 112.
I HAD 97.

97 WORKS.

I PULLED OUT MY BADGE--
MY TWO BADGES.

WHICH HE FUCKING SHIT
HIS PANTS WHEN I DID THAT.

THEN, JUST TO STARTLE HIM
A LITTLE BIT,

I PULLED OUT MY CUFFS.

I SAID,
"I DON'T HAVE TO CUFF YOU?
DO I HAVE TO CUFF YOU

OR CAN I TRUST YOU
TO SIT HERE?"

THESE WORK, GOOD IDEA.

AND HE FELL
RIGHT INTO THE PALM.

BETTER COVER YOUR EARS,
I'VE GOT TO WHISTLE
FOR SEBASTIAN NOW.

( Michelle whistles )

AND THIS IS THE PART
THAT FUCKS UP,

WHEN SEBASTIAN'S NOT
WHERE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

'CAUSE I'M NOT GOING
TO LOOK FOR HIM.

- ALL HE HAD WAS 100 ON HIM.
I DIDN'T GO FURTHER.
- ALL RIGHT.

I JUST TOOK THE 100,
'CAUSE I'M NOT REALLY
FEELING WELL.

- SO I MADE 97 OFF HIM.
- OKAY.

- YOU WERE NERVOUS, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU
DOING OVER HERE?

I'M RUNNING BACK
TO 12TH STREET,
BACK HERE.

TO ST. MARKS,
BACK TO 12TH STREET,
BACK HERE.

COME ON,
I WANT A FRAPPUCCINO.

HMM, YEAH SHE MADE $100,

BUT IT'S NOT GOING
TO LAST TOO LONG.

YOU KNOW, MOST OF IT
IS GONE ALREADY.

'CAUSE EVERY TIME
WE LIGHT THIS THING UP,
IT'S FUCKING $10 OR MORE.

THIS IS WHAT DRUGS
IS DOING TO ME.

I'M 120 LBS.

I'M NOTHING.

SOMETIMES I--

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
BETTER OFF DEAD.

I WAS SENTENCED TO 30 DAYS
IN RIKERS ISLAND FOR ASSAULT

AND I'LL END UP
SPENDING 18 DAYS IN HERE.

IT'S MISERABLE.

MISERABLE, BUT CALMING
IN THE SAME WAY.

BUT MISERABLE,
'CAUSE I'M AWAY FROM MATT.

SO REALLY THAT MISERY
OVERRIDES EVERYTHING.

YOU KNOW, WITHOUT MY MAN
I'M TERRIBLE.

WHAT'S UP, COZ?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHO'S THAT?
I'M JUST WRITING A LETTER.

- WHO?
- ME.

- TO WHO?
- TO MY GIRL.

OH, WHAT HER?

GOOD SHIT.

THAT'S GOOD SHIT, MAN.

SHE'S GONNA BE HAPPIER
THAN A PIG IN SHIT, COZ.

( chuckles )

- YOU'RE MISSING HER,
AIN'T YOU?
- YEAH.

BIG TIME.
WRITE IT ALL IN THERE, BRO.
GET IT OUT, YOU HEAR ME?

GET IT OUT, MATT.

LET THAT SHIT RIDE
IN THE WORDS.

GET HER OPEN.
I KNOW YOU GOT IT IN YOU.

"TO TRACY,

HEY MAMA GIRL.

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG
SINCE I'VE HEARD YOUR VOICE

OR HELD YOUR HAND.

I CAN'T TAKE IT OUT HERE
WITHOUT YOU.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH

THAT I COULDN'T EVEN SLEEP
FOR THE FIRST SEVEN DAYS.

YOU KNOW THAT SONG,

'YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT
TILL IT'S GONE'?

WELL, THAT'S
WHAT I'VE LEARNED, BABY.

I DON'T EVER WANT
TO BE APART FROM YOU
EVER AGAIN.

AND I PROMISE YOU
THAT WE'RE GONNA BE
GETTING MARRIED RIGHT AWAY.

I PROMISE.

ANYWAY, HOLD YOUR HEAD,
BABY, AND KEEP ME
IN YOUR PRAYERS.

I LOVE YOU
AND I'M STAYING STRONG.

PLEASE, HURRY HOME,
I NEED YOU. LOVE, MATT."

IT SUCKS.
I'M MISERABLE AND I'M SAD.

I CAN'T FOCUS.
I'M CONSTANTLY DOPE SICK.

JUST TWO DAYS
BEFORE SHE GOT ARRESTED,
WE WERE ARGUING SO MUCH

THAT I WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, GOD,

GIVE ME 24 HOURS
AWAY FROM THIS MADNESS."

I REGRET EVER SAYING THAT.

YEAH.

UH...

I'M LOOKING
FOR MY BAG OF DOPE.

PLEASE, GOD,
ANYTHING WITH DOPE.

OH MY GOD,
THE DOPE'S GONE.

FUCK.

GONE.

( Matt stomps )
I JUST FUCKING HAD IT.

I DID--
I DID HAVE IT, RIGHT?

THIS IS REAL SHIT.
I LOST MY ONE AND ONLY
FUCKING BAG OF DOPE.

HOW DO YOU LOSE YOUR ONE
AND ONLY FUCKING BAG?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I JUST HAD IT THROUGH
ALL THAT FUCKING RANTING
AND RAVING ACT

LIKE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

I LOST IT.

NOW WE BACKTRACK.

I LOST IT.
IT'S GONE.

IT'S LIKE A RECTANGLE
WHITE BAG.

YEAH, OW!
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

FOUND IT!

( humming )

RIGHT THERE, BABY.

PHEW!

YEAH, YOU SEEN THAT
HEART ATTACK I JUST HAD?

TWO FEET FROM YOU, BABY.

THINK THAT WAS
A LITTLE PANIC?

( whistle )
QUIET.

FUCKING NEXT HIT'S
GONNA BE TRASH.

I WANT MATT TO KNOW
THAT I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

I JUST-- IF I CRY
ABOUT IT NOW,

IT'S PREMATURE
BECAUSE I STILL GOT,

YOU KNOW, ANOTHER WEEK
LEFT IN THIS PLACE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BUT I'M HYPER AND I CAN'T
SLEEP AT NIGHT.

AND ALL DAY I'M JUST
THINKING ABOUT I JUST CAN'T
WAIT TO BE WITH MATT.

I JUST WANT
TO BE WITH MATT.

I KNOW MY BABY
IS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
ONCE I'M OUT THERE.

IF ANYBODY ASKS ME,
I HAD TO WAIT IN LINE
FOR THE BATHROOM.

THAT'S WHY
IT TOOK SO LONG.

WHERE DID YOU GO NOW?
I DON'T HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE YOU WERE.

- I TOLD YOU
WHERE I WAS GOING.
- WHERE WERE YOU GOING?

I WAS FINISHING
MY STASH.

SO FULL OF SHIT.
EVERYONE'S LYING
TO ME, MAN.

YOU MEAN YOU FINISHED
SHOOTING YOUR CRACK,
RIGHT?

NO, THERE IS NO CRACK
TO FUCKING SHOOT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
SEBASTIAN--

FUCKING LYING
PIECE OF SHIT--

TWICE YOU LEFT WITHOUT
FUCKING TELLING ME NOTHING.

YOU WON'T DISAPPEAR
IF I'VE GOT TWO FUCKING
HUNDRED BUCKS IN MY POCKET.

YOU'RE RIGHT
ON MY FUCKING HIP.

NO!

SEBASTIAN!

I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT,
I TOLD YOU FUCKING
THREE TIMES TODAY.

DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ME
STANDING ANYWHERE.

I'M NOT, MICHELLE.
FUCKING YOU CAN SEE ME.

YOU'RE GONNA STOP
FUCKING DISRESPECTING ME.

I'LL FUCKING KNOCK
YOU RIGHT THE FUCK OUT.

- GO AHEAD.
- GET YOUR FUCKING
HANDS OFF ME.

GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING
HANDS OFF ME.

- DON'T STICK YOUR
FINGERS IN MY FACE.
- GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, PUNK.

YOU'RE SUCH
A PIECE OF SHIT, MAN.

NO, COME HERE, MOTHERFUCKER.
WE'RE TAKING A--

YOU SON OF A BITCH!
COME ON, YOU WANT
TO FUCKING GO.

COME ON,
YOU COCKSUCKER.

YOU FUCKING MOTHER--
THAT'S YOUR THANK YOU,
RIGHT?

NO GOODBYE, THAT'S
YOUR THANK YOU?

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

( crying )
GO AND GET MY STUFF,
SEBASTIAN.

GO GET MY STUFF.
YOU KNOW I NEED
THAT SHIT.

- SO WHAT?
- GO GET MY THINGS.

SO WHAT?
SAY PLEASE.

DAMN IT, MAN.
FUCK!

( crying )

MY FUCKING SHIT.

JUST THROWS
MY FUCKING BELONGINGS.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
ALREADY AND HE THROWS IT.

WHERE IS MY BAG?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE HE THREW MY BAG.

WHERE IS MY BAG?

- CAN I HAVE MY BAG?
- IT'S OVER THERE.

- THANKS.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.

THAT WAS SO SWEET OF YOU.
OH, BY THE WAY, SCUMBAG,

COME HERE,
PIECE OF SHIT DIRT BAG.

- YOU LEAVE ME THERE
FOR THE COPS TO COME.
- LET GO, LET GO.

OH, WHY?
YOU LEAVE ME THERE
FOR THE COPS TO COME?

- YOU WANTED YOUR BREAK.
- NO, LISTEN--

- NO!
- YOU AIN'T-- GO AHEAD!

YOU KNOW--
YOU KNOW SOMETHING--

( groans )

YOU FUCK!

- YOU KNOW SOMETHING--
- TAKE YOUR FUCKING SHIT
AWAY FROM ME.

DON'T YOU WALK AWAY.

( crying )
I HAVE MY--

YEAH!

TODAY IS THE DAY TRACY
GETS OUT OF JAIL.

WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO GO PICK HER UP.

SHE GAVE A LIST OF STUFF
THAT SHE WANTED ME TO HAVE.

UH, A BAG OF DOPE,
A NEEDLE,

A HIT OF CRACK,
A CRACK STEM AND MYSELF.

WELL, I GOT MYSELF.

SO SHE'S GONNA HAVE
TO BE HAPPY FOR THAT.

MATT!

- ( moaning )
- WHAT'S UP, BABY?

YOU DIDN'T SEE ME
IN MY FUNKY LITTLE SHIRT?

- YEAH.
- ( Tracy laughs )

OH, IT'S COMING OFF.

Ma
SHE'S PICKING UP
HER MONEY HER DAD SENT HER.

SHH-WEE!

- Ma FIRST CLASS.
- WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?

- Ma POP THE TRUNK.
- WE WANT TO GO TO 26TH
AND 9TH STREET FIRST.

POP THE TRUNK.

JUST GOT OUT OF RIKERS?

SHOW TIME!

TAKE IT ALL OFF.
SEE THE OUTFIT?
THAT SHIT WAS HOT.

- FIRST SHOW ME.
- YEAH.

♪ SHAKE THAT ASS,
GIRL, OOH! ♪

♪ TELL ME WHAT
YOU WANNA DO. ♪

( Tracy giggles )

14 BODIES, THEY DIDN'T
FIND THE MURDER WEAPON,

SO THEY LETTING
HER COME HOME.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU
KILL AND GET AWAY WITH?

- NOBODY.
- Ma NO ONE?

WE'RE GOING
TO THE PROJECTS
TO COP SOME COKE.

THEN WE'RE GONNA
GO OVER TO THE HOTEL

WHERE WE'RE GONNA ENGAGE
IN SOME SEXUAL FOREPLAY.
COPY?

( lighter clicking )

WE'RE GOING
TO THE MIDTOWN COURT.

THIS PROGRAM THAT
I'M IN TEMPORARILY,
FIVE-DAY PROGRAM

THAT I GOT SENTENCED
TO BECAUSE I GOT ARRESTED

FOR POSSESSION OF CRACK
THE OTHER NIGHT.

AND THEY'RE OFFERING ME
A DETOX,

WHICH I DESPERATELY NEED.

AND, UM--

YOU KNOW, I ONCE--
SEBASTIAN AND I
TALKED ABOUT IT

AND WE WOULD LIKE
TO GO TOGETHER.

- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK.

- I'LL SEE YOU
IN A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?
- ALL RIGHT.

( coughing )

I'M A NERVOUS WRECK.
I'M VERY, VERY NERVOUS.

I'M SCARED FOR ME
AND SEBASTIAN, BUT I KNOW
IT'S THE RIGHT THING.

MAN, WE GOT TO GET
THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

OR WE'RE NOT
GONNA MAKE IT.

- OUR RELATIONSHIP
ISN'T GONNA MAKE IT.
- ( elevator dings )

AND I LOVE HIM
AND I KNOW THAT HE LOVES ME.

AND WE CAN'T RUN
LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

I CAN'T TAKE BEING
ON THE STREETS ANYMORE.

IT'S KILLING ME.

( elevator dings )

I WAS HOPING TO MAKE
A REFERRAL TO YOUR
DETOX PROGRAM.

IF YOU CAN CALL ME BACK,
I'D APPRECIATE IT.
THANKS, BYE-BYE.

IT'S TOUGH WITHOUT
ANY MEDICAID AND ANY IDS.

CAN I USE YOUR PHONE?
CAN I CALL MY SON,
WAPPINGERS FALLS?

- WHAT'S THE AREA CODE?
- 845.

( voices overlapping )

ANTHONY?
HI.

ARE YOU BY YOURSELF?

OH, LISTEN, UH,

CAN YOU GET MY ID
FROM GRANDMA?

I'M TRYING TO GET
INTO FUCKING HOSPITAL
AND SHIT

AND NO ONE WILL TAKE ME
WITHOUT ANY ID.

IF I COME UP TONIGHT,
CAN YOU MEET ME?

I'M IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
I HAVE TO GO INTO A HOSPITAL.

ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU.

- I GOT ACCEPTED
TO BAILEY SEATON.
- OKAY.

- FOR TOMORROW MORNING.
- GREAT.

BUT I GOT TO GO TO
ANTHONY AND GET MY ID.

THAT'S NOT SO
FUCKING GREAT, HUH?

BUT I'M NOT DOING
ANY OF THAT

UNTIL YOU CALL AND GET
ACCEPTED RIGHT NOW.

YES, I'D LIKE
TO FIND OUT

IF I CAN GET IN
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
LIKE TOMORROW MORNING.

YES, IF I COULD.

I CAN'T GO
WITHOUT SEBASTIAN.

FUCK THAT.

OKAY, BYE.

CALL BACK AT 8:00
IN THE MORNING TOMORROW.

SURE THING.

- YOU'LL GO IN, RIGHT?
YOU'RE GONNA GO?
- YEAH.

- THAT'S WHERE YOU
WANT TO GO, RIGHT?
- 100%.

OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO NOW?

I'M ON MY WAY OVER
TO ST. MARKS RIGHT NOW

'CAUSE I'VE GOT TO MAKE
SOME MONEY

'CAUSE I'M GOING UP
TO SEE MY SON ANTHONY

AND I DON'T WANT
TO GET SICK UP THERE.

I HAVE TO GO UP THERE
AND GET ALL MY IDS

SO I CAN GO TO THE DETOX
IN THE MORNING.

SO HOPEFULLY THIS WILL
WORK OUT AND I CAN SCORE
SOME CASH RIGHT NOW.

- Michelle: YOU'RE
IN THE ST. MARKS?
- Man: YEAH.

Michelle:
OKAY, I'LL COME UP
WITH YOU.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO GET FOR YOU?

YOU WANT TWO 20S,
RIGHT?

( Michelle chuckles )

- Man: BUY FOUR
AND TAKE TWO FOR YOU.
- Michelle: BUT FOUR WHAT?

- WHATEVER THEY ARE-- DIMES.
- THEY'RE 20S.

- OKAY.
- OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

LET'S GO RIGHT NOW.
STOP US A CAB, SEBASTIAN,
RIGHT NOW.

( brakes screech )

LET ME GET IN FIRST,
SEBASTIAN.

Michelle:
FIRST I CHARGED HIM
$20 FOR THE CRACK.

AND THEN HE GAVE ME 40
TO GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS

AND FIVE TO GET BEER.

SO I WOUND UP WITH $65.

ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
HAS TO BE OPEN.

COME ON.

I DON'T FUCKING
BELIEVE THIS.

NO.

Michelle:
THAT DOOR LOOKS OPEN
RIGHT THERE-- 112.

YES!

- ( Sebastian muttering )
- Michelle: I GAVE IT
TO YOU, REMEMBER?

OH YES YOU DID,
YES YOU DID.

YOU HAVE COTTON?

YEAH, FROM A CIGARETTE.

( both sniffling )

WE'RE BOTH GETTING SICKER
AS WE'RE DOING THIS.

CAN YOU HEAR THE WAY
SEBASTIAN IS BREATHING
AND SHIT?

- HAVING THE DOPE MAKES YOU--
- ( man yelling )

( Michelle whispering )
FUCK, MAN.

- YOU DIDN'T MIX
THE SETS UP, DID YOU?
- NO.

'CAUSE I CAN'T HAVE
AN OLD SET.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT NEEDLE?

SEBASTIAN?

- HUH?
- IT'S BENT.

NO SHIT, DICK!
WHOSE NEEDLE IS THAT?

IT'S MINE.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, DO YOU?
WHOSE IT IS?

IT'S MINE.

HERE YOU GO.

THIS IS BENT.
IS THIS THE BENT?

YES, THE BENT ONE
I THOUGHT WAS YOURS.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHOSE
NEEDLE THIS IS, DO YOU?
YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

YEAH, SOMETIMES I FORGET
THAT YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

SO, FUCKING,
THERE SHOULD BE WATER
IN HERE.

HOW MUCH DOPE
IS IN THERE?

NOT MUCH, MICHELLE.

GO AHEAD, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

YOU KNOW THAT I CAN'T DO IT
IN ONE FUCKING SECOND LIKE THAT.

TELL ME,
WHAT NEEDLE IS THAT?

THIS ONE'S PRETTY, UH--

- NEW? CAN I USE IT?
- YEAH.

THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE NUMBERS ON IT AND YOU'RE
READY TO GIVE IT TO ME.

CAN YOU STAND HERE NOW?

SHIT.
I'M NOT GOING TO BE
ABLE TO DO THIS.

I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE
TO USE THIS FUCKING NEEDLE.

IF THIS WORKS,
IT'S A MIRACLE.

THIS AIN'T GONNA WORK.
THIS FUCKING THING
IS RETARDEDLY BENT.

( Sebastian mumbling )

I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR
A WORD YOU'RE SAYING,
SEBASTIAN.

DON'T EVEN
FUCKING TALK TO ME.

YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK
AS LONG AS YOU'RE
FUCKING STRAIGHT.

THE SHIT IS NOT EVEN
FUCKING DRAINING OUT, MAN.

FUCK!
SHIT.

I AM SICK, SEBASTIAN.
ARE YOU'RE JUST GONNA
STAND THERE?

IT'S ALL RIGHT,
MICHELLE.

OH, OKAY, I FEEL
MUCH FUCKING BETTER NOW.

( Michelle moans )

OKAY, SEBASTIAN, I'M USING
THE OTHER FUCKING NEEDLE
AND IT AIN'T WORKING.

ANY FUCKING SUGGESTIONS?

OH MY GOD.

( moans )

FUCKING SHIT!

GOD DAMN IT!

ALL MY DOPE
IS ALMOST GONE, SEBASTIAN.

DID YOU SAVE ANY FOR ME?

THE SAME FUCKING
WORD GAME, OKAY?

OKAY?

GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY.

MICHELLE.
HANDS.

- PUT YOUR FOOT IN HERE.
- NO.

PUT YOUR FOOT IN HERE.
YOU'LL FREEZE.

( thunder rumbling )

I'M GOING TO SHOOT
SOME CRYSTAL.

FEEL ME.

OH, SHE'S SCHIZZING, OH.

OH, FUCK.

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I EVER SHOT CRYSTAL METH.

OH, WHEW.

WHY AM I ON THE GROUND?

YOU WANT TO STAND UP?

SLOWLY.
I CAN'T REALLY DO IT.

MY LEGS ARE SLEEPING.

OH GOSH,
WHAT HAPPENED?

( shivering )

HOW COME I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED, SEBASTIAN?

( shivering )

- WHERE'S
THE TRAIN, SEBASTIAN?
- RIGHT OVER HERE.

HONEY, I CAN'T GO FAST.
I'M SCARED.

I'M NOT.
I'M GONNA STAND
RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

- ARE WE ALMOST THERE?
- HMM.

( moaning )
OH, ARE WE ALMOST THERE?!

ABOUT 10 MORE
AND A COUPLE MORE
AROUND THE CORNER.

Conductor:
42nd, transfer above
to shuttles 1, 2, 3 and 7.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
I AM NOT ON MY WAY UP

TO SEE MY FUCKING SON.

Michelle:
COLLECT CALL
FROM MICHELLE, PLEASE.

CAN YOU LIGHT THIS
FOR ME, SEBASTIAN?
OR ARE YOU BUSY?

ANTHONY, WHAT TIME IS IT?

IF I GET ON THE TRAIN
RIGHT NOW, CAN YOU STAY THERE?

'CAUSE I CAN'T GO TO
THE HOSPITAL WITHOUT ID

AND I REALLY
FUCKING NEED TO.

CAN YOU JUST GO
TO SCHOOL LATE?

OKAY, SO THEN YOU'LL TAKE
THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY OFF.

I WILL GO TO THE SCHOOL
AND TELL THEM YOU'RE WITH ME.

HE'S SAYING THAT
HE GETS OFF AT 12:00.

WE'LL MEET HIM AT 12:00
THEN, IF HE CAN--

HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO CALL THE MOTHERFUCKING
DETOX AT 8:00?

WE'LL CALL THEM AT 8:00.
THEY'LL HOLD THE BED TILL 5:00.

YOU'RE SURE
OF THIS, RIGHT?

- I'M NOT POSITIVE, BUT--
- ( Michelle laughs )

BRING MY PURSE.
DON'T FORGET MY PURSE.

I LOVE YOU, ANTHONY.

( sobbing )
I REALLY GOT TO GO THERE.

I REALLY GOT TO GO.

I GOTTA GO INTO
THAT DETOX.

Michelle:
WELL, WE'RE ALMOST UP

IN NEW HAMBURG
TO SEE ANTHONY.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS.

I'M SO NERVOUS
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I WISH SEBASTIAN
WAS WITH ME.

THIS IS ANTHONY,
MY SON.

MY 17-YEAR-OLD.

MY BEST FRIEND.

HE'S MY SON

FROM MY HUSBAND
WHO PASSED AWAY.

HIS FATHER
WAS A DRUG ADDICT.

HE OVERDOSED AT THE TIME
I WASN'T HERE.

I WAS IN
FLORIDA PRISON.

AND I COULDN'T BE
WITH ANTHONY.

AND...

IT DIDN'T MATTER
WHO WAS WITH HIM,
HE JUST WANTED ME

AND I COULDN'T BE HERE.

BUT HE GOT
HIS LITTLE SUIT ON

AND WENT DOWN
TO THE FUNERAL.

HE GAVE HIS DAD
A KISS GOODBYE.

( train whistle blowing )

HE WAS--
HE WAS CRUSHED.

HE'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT,
ANTHONY.

I'VE ALWAYS HOPED
SHE WOULD GET BETTER.

I'M USED TO HER
NOT GETTING BETTER THOUGH.

LIKE SHE'LL COME UP
FOR A WHILE AND LEAVE.

IT DON'T AFFECT ME
ANYMORE REALLY.

I JUST DEAL WITH WHATEVER,
YOU KNOW, I'VE TO GOT
TO DEAL WITH.

IF SHE GETS BETTER,
I'M HAPPY,

BUT IF SHE DON'T,
LIKE I'M USED TO IT.

THIS HAPPENED
LOTS OF TIMES.

OH, THAT PERSON'S LEAVING.
I HOPE THAT'S NOT ANTHONY.

THEY DIDN'T EVEN
GET OUT OF THE CAR.

THAT MIGHT BE ANTHONY.

I GOT TO GET DOWN HERE
IN CASE IT'S HIM.

Michelle:
I CAME UP TODAY
TO GET MY ID

- BECAUSE I HAVE TO
GO INTO A DETOX.
- YEAH.

'CAUSE I'VE BEEN
IN THE STREETS FOR
SIX MONTHS.

BUT IN THE PAST WEEK
IT'S BEEN THE WORST TIME
OF MY FUCKING LIFE.

I-- I JUST WANT
TO GO IN THE HOSPITAL.

Anthony:
OKAY.

Michelle:
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ANT.
WELL, I'LL CALL YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA CALL
THE HOSPITAL AND WHATNOT
AND CHECK ON ME, RIGHT?

- YEAH.
- THANKS FOR BRINGING--
GIVING ME MY ID.

- Anthony: ALL RIGHT.
- I LOVE YOU.

- ( both kissing )
- LOVE YOU TOO.

- I'LL CALL
THE HOSPITAL LATER.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY.

- BYE, ANT.
- BYE.

( tires screeching )

OH MY GOD!
OH MY GOD!

OH HE'S--
OH GOD!

WELL, I GOT THE ID

AND MY POCKETBOOK
FROM ANTHONY.

AND I'M HEADING
BACK DOWN TO THE CITY

TO GO TO THE DETOX.

HOPEFULLY
I CAN FIND SEBASTIAN.

( sniffling )

Conductor:
Grand Central Terminal,
final stop.

Have a good evening
and a good weekend.

HI, THIS IS
MICHELLE BOSWELL CALLING.

HI, I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE COMING TONIGHT.

UM, I WAS SUPPOSED
TO CALL

WHEN I ARRIVED
AT GRAND CENTRAL.

OKAY, BELLEVUE IS CLOSER.
CAN I GO THERE?

BECAUSE SEE,
WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO
IS I'M TRYING NOT TO STOP

AND-- AND GET
DETOURED.

'CAUSE I'M REALLY GETTING
DOPE SICK RIGHT NOW.

YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

OKAY, BYE-BYE.

I'M SCARED.

I DON'T HAVE MY BOYFRIEND
WITH ME.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO COME
AND DO THIS WITH ME
AND HE'S NOT.

( truck honking )

GOD, SEBASTIAN,
PLEASE BE AT THIS DETOX.

I JUST DON'T HAVE IT IN ME
TO GO LOOK FOR HIM.

I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME
TO GO STEAL.

I'M GETTING SICK.
I JUST WANNA GO BE SAFE
SOMEWHERE.

( sobs )

I'M SCARED.
REALLY SCARED.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO--

I DON'T WANT TO BE
OUT HERE ANYMORE.

I CAN'T DO IT NO MORE.

DAD, CALL WHEN YOU GET YOUR
PARKING SPOT IN NEW YORK.

OKAY, BYE.

YOU CAN TELL
SHE GETS A LITTLE ANTSY.

SHE WANTS EVERYTHING
TO BE PERFECT, YOU KNOW?

SHE FEARS THAT,
YOU KNOW,

WHEN HER DAD SEES HER
THAT HE'S GONNA SEE,

YOU KNOW, THE HARD TIME
SHE'S HAVING.

- HOW WAS YOUR DRIVING?
- DAD!

- CRAZY AS USUAL, YOU KNOW.
- HEY, DAD.

- HI, TRACY. YOU DIDN'T
DRINK THIS TIME, DID YOU?
- NO.

WE PUT SOME CHANGE
IN THE METER 'CAUSE
THE PARKING LADY--

DAD, WE HELD THIS SPOT
FOR YOU FOR LIKE
A HALF HOUR.

OKAY, UH...

- WHAT WE HAVE IS A--
- OH, WE'RE GOING
TO BE TRIPLETS.

WE GOT A BIRTHDAY JACKET
FOR MATT BECAUSE IT WAS
HIS BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY.

- THANKS A LOT.
- THAT'S FUN.

JUST 'CAUSE YOU LOOK
LIKE ME, YOU'RE NOT ME.
THEY'RE THE SAME JACKET.

Tracy:
TRY IT ON, MATTIE.

LOOK, MATT,
WE'RE GONNA BE TWINS.

OH, THREE-QUARTER,
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

THERE'S OTHER STUFF
IN HERE LATER, TRACY,
IF YOU WANT TO LOOK.

Tracy:
SOME COOL STUFF IN HERE.

THOSE GREY SWEATERS,
THAT'S MY COLOR TOO.

- LOCK UP THE TRUNK, DAD.
- OKAY, NOW--

IS THERE ANYTHING IN THE CAR
THAT SHOULD BE LOCKED UP?

- NO, HOW LONG
ARE WE GOOD FOR?
- AN HOUR.

- MATT?
- YES.

MATT, THEY'VE GOT IT
ON SALE FOR $1.99.

JUST CHECK HOW LONG UNTIL--
JUST CONCENTRATE TOWARDS THAT.

THIS IS WHAT WE DO NOW
BECAUSE WE DON'T GET HIGH.

SO WE GOT TO FIND
OTHER THINGS TO DO.

- YOU KNOW WHAT--
- WE DO VIDEOGAMES.

BUT THIS IS GOOD.
WHEN YOU WERE A KID
YOU DID VIDEOGAMES.

IT WAS HEALTHY FOR YOU.
YOU LEARN FROM VIDEOGAMES.

KNOW WHAT YOU LEARN?
YOU GOT A LOT OF TIME
ON YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU

STOP GETTING HIGH.
THERE'S A LOT OF TIME
IN THE DAY.

YOU KNOW A JOB
CAN REALLY FILL YOUR TIME
PRETTY GOOD.

WITH MY DAUGHTER,
CHRISTMAS SEEMS TO COME
EVERY OTHER DAY.

- THANK YOU.
- HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

"DEAR TRACY, I AM SO GLAD
YOU ARE DOING SO MUCH BETTER.

BEST OF LUCK.
I WILL BE E-MAILING YOU.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ME.
LOVE, YOUR AUNT SUPPORTER.

I BELIEVE IN YOU,
I ALWAYS WILL

AND I KNOW YOU WILL SUCCEED.
JUDY."

THAT'S GREAT.
IT'S MY COOLEST AUNT TOO.

AS MUCH AS SHE THINKS
THE WORLD HAS TURNED HER OFF

OR SHE'S TURNED OFF
THE WORLD,

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT
WANT HER TO MAKE IT
AND COME BACK.

AND I'LL ALSO HELP YOU,
MATTHEW, BECAUSE SOMETIMES
IN YOUR LIFE

THERE'S NO REAL STRONG
MALE FIGURE.

WE'LL HELP YOU
AS MUCH AS WE CAN,
BUT WE CAN'T DO IT

WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

MONEY MEANS NOTHING
IF YOU LOSE YOUR CHILD
FOR LIFE.

AND IN THE LONG RUN,

WE STILL COULD LOSE TRACY
OR WE COULD LOSE MATTHEW.

BUT TO GIVE UP
WITHOUT TRYING

AND NOT PUT OUT
EVERY EFFORT YOU CAN

TO HELP THEM GET BACK,

UH, I THINK THAT'S

THE WHOLE THING ABOUT
BEING A PARENT.

YOU BROUGHT THIS PERSON
INTO THE WORLD,

YOU DO YOUR BEST
TO MAKE SURE THAT
THEY SURVIVE THIS WORLD.

AND IF THEY FALL DOWN,
YOU HELP THEM.

- YOU WANT SOME?
- Tracy: YEAH.

- HOW OILY IS IT NOW?
- NOT AT ALL.

TODAY WE'RE MOVING
INTO OUR NEW PLACE
OVER IN BROOKLYN.

IT'S MATT AND I'S
FIRST APARTMENT TOGETHER
AND IT'S A HUGE PLACE.

WE REALLY LUCKED OUT
AND GOT A GREAT PLACE.

MY DAD'S
HELPING US FURNISH--
WE'RE FURNISHING IT.

THIS IS VERY SIGNIFICANT.
THIS IS GONNA BE OUR HOME
TOGETHER FOR A WHILE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE HOME WE GET MARRIED IN.

FOR THE FIRST TIME,
WE DON'T HAVE TO USE A CREDIT
CARD TO ENTER THIS DOOR.

Tracy:
WE HAVE KEYS.

SEE THAT?
THAT'S DOOR NUMBER ONE.

CHING, CHING.

Tracy:
THIS SYSTEM IS INCREDIBLE.
AND MY DAD GOT US

40 OR 50 DVDS TO START OUT
A COLLECTION, SO WE--

Ma
AND EVERY TIME
HE COMES, TRUST ME,

IT'S LIKE HIS SWEATERS.
HE'S GOING TO COME
WITH 10 OF THEM.

IF YOU LOOK IN MY CLOSET,
WE'VE GOT 600 SWEATERS.

- YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?
COME HERE.
- WHERE?

Ma
THIS IS OUR SWEATER CLOSET.

IT'S ALL SWEATERS.

IF YOU LOOK BEHIND
MY BED OVER THERE,

THERE'S FOUR MORE
BIG GARBAGE BAGS--
SWEATERS!

WE'RE THOROUGHLY
SICK AND TIRED

OF THAT
LIFESTYLE OUT THERE.

THIS ISN'T A WHIM AND THIS
ISN'T TO HUMOR MY FATHER.

THIS IS WHAT WE WANT.

MATT AND I STILL HAVE
SOME ISSUES WE GOT TO WORK ON,

BUT THOSE THINGS
ARE LESSENING

AND THE POSITIVE
THINGS ARE, YOU KNOW,
JUST MORE AND MORE SO.

- I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT.
I'M NOT CONCERNED AT ALL.
- OH YEAH.

- Woman: Hello?
- I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
I FORGOT MY KEY.

CAN YOU LET ME IN?
I LIVE ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.

- Who is it?
- O'BRIEN.

- Oh.
- ( door buzzes )

THANK YOU.

I MISS MICHELLE.
WE ALWAYS COME HERE TOGETHER.

I WASN'T REALLY PLANNING
ON LEAVING OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.

I JUST GOT FUCKING--

I JUST GOT--
NODDED OUT

AND WHEN I WOKE UP
IT WAS LIKE AN HOUR LATER.

AND,

YOU KNOW, I KEPT LOSING
SENSE OF DIRECTION.

I KNEW MICHELLE WOULD HAVE
BEEN REALLY MAD AT ME.

SO I DIDN'T BOTHER
GOING ANYWHERE.

AAH!

I'M FUCKING FREEZING.

HOW COULD HE HAVE
A CONSCIENCE?

LOOK AT THE FUCKING
WEATHER.

AND WHERE IS HE?
( chuckles )

AND IS HE WONDERING
WHERE I AM FREEZING?

WHERE'S SEBASTIAN, UNDER
A FUCKING QUILT RIGHT NOW

SNUGGLED UP
WITH A DICK UP HIS ASS?

HI, ALVIN.

IT'S SEBASTIAN.

HEY, CAN I COME OVER?

ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S YOUR--

WHAT'S THE NUMBER
OF YOUR BUILDING?

OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
HA HA!

WHEN MICHELLE
IS NOT WITH ME SOMETIMES

I CAN'T FIND A PLACE
TO STAY, I--

I CALL PEOPLE
LIKE THIS PERSON

AND I HANG OUT WITH THEM
AND GET HIGH OR WHATEVER.

AND SOMETIMES, I--

YOU KNOW,
IF IT'S ALL RIGHT,

I END UP STAYING FOR
THE NIGHT IF THEY DON'T
BOTHER ME AND I FEEL--

I FEEL SAFE.

Michelle:
IT'S SO FUCKING COLD.

LIKE A HALLWAY LIKE THIS--

THIS AIN'T WARM, MAN.

I WAKE UP,
I'M FUCKING FREEZING.

I MEAN, IT FELT GOOD IN
THAT DETOX THE OTHER NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, TO GET
INTO A FUCKING BED--
TWO DAYS OF THAT.

IT'S THE WORSE
THAT IT'S EVER BEEN.

THE CRACK IS JUST KILLING ME.
IT'S KILLING ME.

AND I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO STOP.

IF I WANT TO STOP.

I MEAN, I'M SURE
I WANT TO STOP.

'CAUSE WHO THE FUCK
WANTS TO LIVE LIKE THIS?

I MEAN I'M NOT IN LOVE
WITH SEBASTIAN ANYMORE.

WHICH I--
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM.

OH MY GOD,
HE WAS MY LIFE.
WHICH HE STILL IS.

I MEAN I'D DO ANYTHING
FOR HIM, BUT...

WITH THE DRUGS JUST--
THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

RIGHT NOW,
IT'S TOO FUCKING COLD.

I'M GOING ON THE TRAIN.

JUST RIDE BACK AND FORTH
ALL NIGHT.

IT'S A ROUGH PLACE
TO STAY WARM

BECAUSE THE COPS
GIVE YOU A REALLY HARD TIME.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I REMEMBER

SEEING THIS,
LIKE ON TV, YOU KNOW?

I WAS THINKING
ABOUT IT THE OTHER DAY.

YOU KNOW,
LIKE THIS GRAND CENTRAL

AND THE HOMELESS PEOPLE.

I WAS THINKING
ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY
AND THEN I SAID,

"I'M PART OF THIS.

I AM PART OF THAT NOW."

WHAT I USED TO LOOK
AT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,

THESE PEOPLE SAYING,
"HOW COULD THEY SLEEP THERE?

WELL, HOW COME
THEY DON'T HAVE A BED?"

AND I'M LIVING IT NOW.

( trains rumbling )