Don't Make Waves (1967) - full transcript

♪ If you're lookin'
to get a good thing ♪

♪ going for yourself ♪

♪ a house and pool,
a new Rolls-Royce ♪

♪ and some degree
of wealth ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ take a ride out west ♪

♪ to find the freedom
that you crave ♪

♪ kick that 9:00 to 5:00 ♪

♪ don't let them
make you a slave ♪



♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ too many girls
will catch your eye ♪

♪ make you lose
your mind ♪

♪ it's a paradox ♪

♪ California
is so fine ♪

♪ Malibu is calling you ♪

♪ her days are nice
and warm ♪

♪ you can find
excitement ♪

♪ any size,
shape, or form ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪



♪ then when the toys
that you dreamed of ♪

♪ finally come ♪

♪ they all will break ♪

♪ and you're back
where you started from ♪

♪ take a ride out west ♪

♪ to find the freedom
that you crave ♪

♪ kick that 9:00 to 5:00 ♪

♪ don't let them
make you a slave ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ la la ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪♪

Aah! Aah!

[Woman speaking Italian]

Was there
anybody inside?

No. It's empty.

Just a lot of books
and stuff.

[Speaking Italian]

Eh?

Hey,
what's she saying?

I'm asking,
why you want
to kill people?

Why?

Well--

hey, lady,
nobody--nobody
got hurt.

I got hurt!

I'm almost
frightened to death.

Who owns that car?

Tell me so I can
put you in jail.

It's--it's my car.

Oh,
you're the one.

Criminal.

You want
to kill people.

You push
the car down.

Hey, lady.
Hey, take it easy.

You're the one
that bumped into US,
lady.

Look, you bumped
into US, see?

Fire--fire!

There's a fire!
There's a--

better get this car
out of here.

My--my coat.

My wallet.

Hey, watch it!

He's on fire!

Go--go get some water
with monster.

Pour it.

Pour it. Pour it.

No, no. I--i meant
on the pants.

Thank you.

May I ask you...

Are you--
are you insured?

Insured?

Yes. Insured.

Why insured?
I don't care
if you're insured.

I am insured.

You pushed the car.
You set fire to it.

Then you ask
if I am insured?

What do you want?

You set--you set
the car on fire.

[Man]
Yes, you did.
With a match.

I did?

And you made it, uh,
come down the hill.

What did I do?

I'll tell you
what you did!

You threw that absurd,
grotesque painting
of yours

into the ocean!

Which is probably
the only sensible thing

you've ever done
in your life!

Then you waddled
into this big,
stupid car!

Then like
a complete imbecile,

you hooked
your bumper--huh?

Your bumper
on the Fender
of my car,

and you literally
forced it
to come down the hill

to burn and destroy
my every last
possession!

And on top of which,
I practically go up
in flames.

Madame, in 30 seconds,
you've managed
to wipe me out.

[Speaking Italian]

[Speaking Italian]

I--i...
[Muffled]

There's no need
for that.

If you'll
just give me--

oh.
The insurance.

Oh, I'm sorry,
but--ha ha.

Please, come to my car.

We go to my apartment.

To get the insurance.

Hee hee hee.

Ha ha ha.

[Laughing]

I'm sorry,
but it is so funny.

Please, come in.

It's nice, no?
Nice apartment.

Here, give me that.

Do you like my posters?

Oh, yeah.

I like lions.

Please,
excuse my apartment,
but I have no maid.

I had one--Monique--
but she wasn't happy.

She left.

Would you like something
to drink?

Uh...yes, yes,
i--i would.

I'll tell you what.

I'll make the drink.

Why don't you go find
the insurance?

You said
you had them on file.

Oh, on file.
It is in my bedroom,
then.

File in the bedroom.

Do you want a drink?

No, no, no.

These paintings,
are they yours?

Yes. All of them.

It was very cruel
and unkind,

what you said
about my work.

Ooh.

My painting is superior.

It is first-rate.

Yes.

Oh, damn, damn, damn.

I cannot find
the papers.

I--i don't know
where I put them.

We'll look
for that later, hmm?

Ah, I know
what I'm doing.

Excuse me.

I cook for you.

I'm a marvelous cook.

I can do everything.

I do...Chinese,
Japanese,

um, Italian, French.

What do you like? Eh?

And I said to myself,
why not?

If I don't become
a movie star,

I'll still see
the United States.

Maybe I'll never
get the chance again.

So I came.

Were you in a lot
of pictures?

No. I have been
only in this one.

It was called
something in the air.

[Speaking Italian]

They use a new process.

It was aroma-rama.

You could smell it.

Uh...

Smell what?

Smell the picture?

Yes. For miles.

They fix up the theater

so that
with every scene,

there was
a different smell.

In one scene,
I lured this man
to a small Rose garden,

and the audience
was supposed
to smell roses.

They pushed
this, uh, uh--
this, uh--

spray.

They spray the Rose.

The smell of roses.

But they make a mistake.

And the audience
smelled fish.

Then the man
chased me through
the fish market--

they smelled roses.

No. They smelled gas,
from the suicide scene.

The producer lost
all his money.

And I didn't
become a star.

Also,
I'm a terrible actress.

I cannot act.

You want?

I cannot pretend
one thing
when I feel another.

I'm too emotional.

Uh, what do you do now--

I mean, for a living?

I live.

I live a rich life.

I have my work, and, uh...

And for me,
that is everything.

Well,
I'd like to live
a rich life, too.

We must all live
a full life.
A rich life.

Insurance?

Insurance policy?

Don't worry
about insurance.

In the morning,
I will speak
to my patron.

Your--your patron?

Yes. Tomorrow.

And tonight,
you will sleep here--
with me.

And now...

To bed.

Listen...

I live here alone.

I let you sleep
in my house...

Because...
I know you will...

You will not
make a stupidity, eh?

You will behave.

With some men,

the woman...
Is not secure.

But you're not
such a man.

I'm--I'm not, huh?

No. You're a friend.

Ciao.

Ciao.

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Man]
Laura?

Laura, open the door.

[Buzz]

[Buzz]

Laura?

[Knock on door]

[Knocks]

Laura, wake up.
Open the door!

[Knocks]

Unh!

[Knocks]

Where are you?

Open the door!

[Knocks]

[Knocks]

Unh!

[Knocks]

[Knocks]

Hey, baby,
where are you?

Honey, it's me--rod.

Laura.

[Knocks]

[Knocks]

Laura, will you open
the door?

Excuse me. Wake up.

Laura, wake up.

Listen, there's someone
at the door.

Will you wake--

I'm sorry.

Would you wake up?

Laura, listen.

There's someone
trying to get in.

Would you wake up,
please?

There's some--

[knocks]

What are you doing
in my bed?
You rapist.

[Speaking Italian]

Just a minute.

Your patron's
at the door.

Huh?

Go out, out, out.
Go out. Out.

No, come.
Come get your trousers.

You forget the trousers.

Put them.

[Knocks]

Laura.

[Knocks]

Baby,
will you open
the door, please?

Go out. Out.

Go out.

Here, take this.

Wait, wait.

Honey, where are you?

I'm getting tired
of standing out here!

What took you so long?

Oh,
those sleeping pills
again.

Oh, sleeping pills.

How many times
have I told you

not to send
these idiotic letters
to my house, huh?

What would happen
if my wife
had found that?

If Diane
had read that letter,

it'd be 86
for you and me, baby.

What is
the meaning of 86?

86--over, done, out,
finito, capito?

I'm beginning to think
you're a mental case.

Here, drink this.
Wake up.

Let's get
some fresh air.

No, no--no, please.
Don't do that.

You know, i--
I can't do nothing.

[Sobs]

Now, let's go to bed.
I'm tired.

[Sobs]

I didn't know
you were coming tonight.

You got to stop
taking those pills.

You've got to stop
being so dependent on me.

It's becoming
an obsession with you.

I can't live
without you.

I can't, I can't--

[bottle bangs]

What's that?

I bet Diane's
had me followed.

It is always Diane.

If i--if I had--

shh. Shh.

It is a marauder.

Marauder?
It's a private dick.

I'll take care of him
right now.

Alright, how much
is she paying you?

What?

My wife.

I'll pay you double.

Uh...

Well, you're not a--

what are you doing here?

Um...

Well, uh...
Ahem.

Laura,
maybe you'd better
come out here

and introduce me
to your guest.

Yes, uh, I want
to introduce you
to m-Mr...

Uh, Carlo.
Carlo cofield.

Carlo cofield
and--and, uh,
rod Prescott.

Uh, how do you do?

I have my good days
and bad,
but I do quite well.

How do you do?

I'll tell you
what happened,

and you don't
think anything bad.

The car of Mr...

Cofield.

Mr. Cofield.

The car of Mr. Cofield--

the--the car,
it--it bumped into...

My car.

And, uh, it rolled
down the hill.

And everything burned--
the clothes, and, uh--

hmm?

My trousers.

And even
the trousers.

Yes, I noticed.

Sweet.

We come here
for the insurance.

But he had no place
to sleep.

I did the bed here,
and I went
in the other room.

The bed?

Go on.

It is the truth.

Okay.

You mean to tell me
you believe it?

Well,
it's the truth...
Isn't it?

Of course.
Every word of it.

Then why shouldn't
I believe it?

Well, I don't know.

See, I wouldn't,
uh, believe it.

Oh.

[Speaking Italian]

It is because
you don't love me.

Only a fool
could believe it.

Or someone
who didn't care.

Why have you no jealousy
for the one you love?

He's my lover.
He takes me
when he pleases.

We're mad
for each other.

I'm not her lover.

[Speaking Italian]

What--what is
your line there,
lover boy?

You a dance instructor?

Paid escort?

Hairdresser?

Where are you going
to sleep tonight, fella?

I have no plans.

Nor do I have any funds

because your, uh,
your lady friend--

I have a wonderful idea.

You take this blanket
down to the beach.

You'll recognize it.
It's covered with sand.

[Speaking Italian]

Good morning.

Hi. How you doing?

[Woman]
Hey, wait for me!

Hey, watch out!
Look out!

[Man]
Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Watch it!

[Woman]
Oh, no!

Hey!

[Man]
Hey!

What's the matter?

Jennie! Jennie!

What happened to him?

Yeah?

Come here.

Stand back, everybody.

Give him some air.

What happened?

I think he got
a bruise on his head.

Who is he?

Call a doctor.

Yeah,
that's--that's right.

He must've taken
a lot of water.

Give him some air.

Thank you.

Uh, don't worry.

Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.

What happened?

That's the fellow
in the car.

What'd you do to him?

I don't know, lady.

Bring him this way.

It's alright.

I'll take him
to my apartment.

Please, come up.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

[Ring]

Thank you very much.

No sweat, lady.

[Ring]

Yes? Hello?

Oh, rod.

Uh--

yes, it is here.
The briefcase.

I will bring it over
this afternoon.

Don't forget to ask him
about the insurance.

You have found
the insurance?

Hold on.

It's a company car,
you see,
for the tax people.

It's for the government.

The government?

What government?

I don't understand you.

No, I don't
understand you!

You said you would get
the insurance!

Item? What is an item?

I'm not an item!

Tell me,
the car's insured, no?

You see,
I can't put in a claim

without dragging
your name into it.

I don't want to do that.

What am I going to say?

What am I going
to tell him?

Tell who?

You mean he came back?

But it's my fault.
I--

would you tell him
to get lost?

If he causes trouble,
I'll get the lawyers
onto it.

Goodbye!

What did he say?

I am so ashamed.

You know, the insurance.

What--uh...

What are you doing?

He would not
get the insurance

because
of your government.

It could not be
in my name.

I have no name.

I have no existence.

I'm an item.

A tax-deductible item.

I don't know
how you say it.

His wife gave him that.

She has no taste at all.

Hmm?

How much does he make?
Money.

Money?

I don't ask.
I don't care
about that.

I don't know.

He works
for a swimming pool
company.

He's the president.

He's president
of seaspray
swimming pools.

Incorporated?

Seaspray pools.

President.
Rod w. Prescott.

Alright,
Mr. Prescott.

My--bag.

It's not very much.

No, it isn't.

My car!

You drive.

Where are you going?

North Bundy drive.

Wait a minute!

Jim...

"Mr. Magoo" backus.

Who's that?

I don't know.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you excuse me?

Yeah...

Uh, something
I can do for you?

Uh, Carlo cofield,
seaspray pools.

Oh. We're
the backuses.

This is Jim,
and I'm henny.

Backs, huh?No. Backus.

This is
our property.

Seaspray
swimming pool?

I'm sorry.
We decided
against it.

What the hell
is going on here?

I know,
but a fella--

look, we've been
thinking of putting in
a demonstration pool,

our super galaxy model
for publicity purposes.

Publicity?

Like in magazines,

like in
homes and gardens?

That's exactly
what we had in mind.

If we let you
put the pool in,
my wife--

yes, and there would've
been a substantial
discount, too.

But, uh, it's a shame.

It was going to be
the super galaxy model,

and I'm afraid
it's a bit luxur--

well, I'm afraid
it may overbalance
the residence.

Uh...

I'm sorry. I didn't--

you've got
to be kidding.

Young man,
we're going to have

one of the finest
homes in the area.

I want to show you
the blueprints.

Hey, wait.

It's Jim backus,
isn't it?

Oh, my goodness.
I'm so sorry.

Terrific
to meet you.

And Mrs. Backus.

A real pleasure.

Want to hear
Mr. Magoo?

Ha ha, by George,

I'll show you
the blueprints...

Friends love me
at parties.

He was working
for seaspray pools
then, wasn't he?

Yes. He was president,

and then
five, six years ago,

we fell deeply,
deeply in love,

and we make our plan
to marry.

Did you?

No, we could not

because rod is too fine.

He's too good.

[Honking]

[Cursing in Italian]

What's the matter?

Uh, nothing.

It's o.K.
I'm a good driver.

Yes, uh, I know.

You know, his wife
is an invalid, you see?

Polio.

She's bedridden
for many years.

He cannot leave her...

Not until
she is stronger.

And you say this
has been going on for,
uh, six years or so?

Yes. Four, five,
six years.

He's too much man
to leave her,

and I'm too much
woman to leave him.

Excuse me.
I'm sorry.

Uh, two, please.

Leave your number.
I'll have him call
soon as he's free.

Oh, just a minute,
please.

Hello, Mrs. Prescott.
How are you?

Fine, thank you,
Myrna.

Would you tell
Mr. Prescott
I'm here?

Yes, of course.

Mr. Prescott,
Mrs. Prescott is here.

Mrs. Prescott?

Yes.

Diane Prescott?

Yes.

Oh, good morning,
Mrs. Prescott.

Good morning.

I'm, uh,
Carlo cofield.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Um...

Rod and I saw
service together.

Oh, really?

Yes. He's
a terrific guy.

Yes.

He's--he's told me
so much about you.

I somehow feel very,
very close to you.

I am sorry.

What did you say
your name was?

Cofield. Carlo--

oh, Helen,
thank you so much.

Would you
like a cup--

[arguing]

Of coffee,
Mr. Cofield?

It ruins our
corporate image.

Oh, sorry.

Uh, some sugar,
uh...Helen, please.

Carlo.

Rod.

How are you?Fine, fine.

Sorry
I kept you waiting.

No, dear.
Mr. Cofield has
been most amusing.

Oh, good.

Where have you
been hiding him?

He's been around
for a long time.

It's Carlo.

What did you--

it's about
these miscellaneous
expense vouchers.

I've been
with the accountant,

and he assures me--

one minute.
Carlo, why don't you
come in, sit down?

I'll be here
in three minutes, o.K.?

Darling, I have--

would you take this--
uh, barker, do me a favor.

Carlo, excuse me.

Ethyl, would you take
Mrs. Prescott down
to Mr. Henderson's office?

He'll handle that.
I'll be back
in five minutes.

I don't know
what you're trying
to pull, cofield,

but I don't like it.

What were you trying
to say to my wife?

Nothing.
Nothing at all.

We were just chatting.

It occurred to me
once or twice
to compliment her.

Compliment?

Mm-hmm.
On her progress...

Her progress against
the dreaded polio.

Oh, I see.

Laura, huh?

Oh, you wouldn't--

that's right.

What are you saying?

Excuse me,
Mr. Prescott.

I hate to
interrupt you,

but you told me
to take those papers
and Mrs. Prescott--

the door, please.
The door.

Uh, into
Mr. Henderson's office--

right. Take the papers
with Mrs. Prescott.

Mr. Henderson
isn't there.

Well, fine.
Can't you see
we're talking here?

Give US
five minutes.

Now you were about
to say something.

Yes.

Excuse me.

It's okay about
the other thing,

but what about
the demonstration pool?

If we can't install it
until the 27th--

later, barker.

I can't handle it now.

Take it up
with Henderson.

He's out.

Well, find him.
Sorry, dear.
Be right there.

Los Angeles?

No. That's
San Fernando valley.

You wouldn't be trying
to blackmail me,
would you?

Oh, no.
Blackmail. Ha...

Well, what is it
you want?

Uh...

Every, uh,
everything
you've got.

Everything I've--

that's my--

right.

But I'm willing
to work for it.

Work for it?
Doing what?

Selling pools.

You?

This is a highly
specialized business.

You can't just sell
a swimming pool like--

[buzz]

Yes.

Backus?
No, I don't--

yes. Excuse me.
I'm sorry.

For you?

Darling, please.
Can't you see--

darling, I want
to get down to--

can't you just go to--

why don't I wait
right here?

Mr. Backus?
Yes. The super
galaxy.

Super galaxy?

I don't know whether
we can get it in
so quickly.

Four weeks?

Three.

Three weeks it is,

what are you
talking about?

I'll have to talk to
our beloved president.

That's great.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Backus.

Made it.

Uh, rod, could I
talk to you

and Henderson
for a moment?

Oh, yes.

Uh, darling, I'm sorry,

but you can see
we're awfully busy.

Can't we talk later?

Of course.

Goodbye, Mr. Uh--

cofield.
Carlo cofield.

Cofield.

I'll see you soon
as I can, sweetheart.

Barker...

What's
on your mind?

Right. Ah, my coffee.

Well?

I want a job.

A job?

What are your
qualifications
for a job here?

Look, all great salesmen
are nothing more than

just a collection
of personality defects,

the morality of a sieve,

the charm
of a schizophrenic,

the sensitivity
of a rhino,

and the, uh...

The scruples
of a blackmailer.

I'll admit
I've got a couple
numbers to learn,

but with you as
a teacher, I mean,
how can I miss?

Hello, there.

Hi. How ya feeling?

Fine.

Sorry about your car.

Yeah.

The one
that burned up.

We had to move it
out of the road.

Had to wait till
it cooled off,
though.

I appreciate that.
Thank you.

Hey, Millie, look.

Hmm?

You remember how I
lost out to that creep
from Pasadena?

Which?

In the
Mr. Greater L.A. contest.
Because of my glutes.

His glutes.

Glutes?

Yeah, well,
dig madame lavinia.

Madame lavinia?

Madame lavinia's
forecast for that day.

Yeah.

Pecs, abs, glutes.

"May 22nd--
avoid overconfidence

and impulsive
decisions."

That's all
they talk about.

"Go back
over the recent past
and repair mistakes.

Finish up odds and ends
that were postponed."

Um...pecs?

Pecs, abs, glutes.

She's talking
about my glutes.

Millie gunder.

What?

I'm Millie gunder.

Oh.

How do you do?
My name is
Carlo cofield.

If I'd seen this
forecast in advance,

I could have
toned my glutes.

I said what was
wrong with your
glutes a year ago.

S-e-x, old buddy.

Hey, mon.

Simple as that--
s-e-x.

Give me
an adjustment,
will ya?

[Cr-r-r-rack]

Monster used to be
a chiropractor

until he did it to
somebody too hard.

Ruined his practice.

You really should
cut down on it.

I tell ya...

Sex steals away strength
like a thief in the night.

That's a crock,
and you know it.

Well, ask anybody.

Ask anybody
with an I.Q. Over 8

if sex doesn't
destroy the body.

Hmm...
Ah, baloney.

[Cr-r-r-rack]

Um...

What's her name?

Malibu?

Yeah. Malibu. Oh.

She's the one
who conked you
in the head.

I know.

What does she do?

She--she's a skydiver.

You're kidding.

She's a sky--

yeah.

She jumps
out of airplanes...

With a parachute,
right?

Yeah--afterwards.

She falls for a while...

You know,
the chute bit.

Oh.

Tell me,
is Malibu,
you know...

Is she going
with any--

uh-huh.

Yeah.

Harry.

Harry.

See you later.
I got to run.

When we get
to carmel,

we'll have the
whole weekend
together.

How long
have you been here?

I don't know.
Maybe an hour.

I just came
to return the suit.

Thank you.

I see you have
new clothes now.

Yes, i--

here, let me.
They're
very smart.

The watch.

That belongs to rod.
How--

I borrowed it
with the clothes.

Strega. Hmm.

I'll have
my coffee now.

What are you doing?

I had a hard day
at the office.

Ah.

Rod says you're
working for him now.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And you
stay here again?

Yeah.

Now that you
have a job,

why not go
to the hotel
like a normal--

because, uh...

A "normal"

doesn't lose
all his possessions
in 48 hours.

Besides, you owe me
six hours sleep.

Please, put it down.

But don't worry.

I am not, uh,
such a man.

I am a friend,
remember?

Now that
you have a job,

what you will do?

What do you want?

Some cream.

You know
what I want?

A box of
25 monte cristo
panatellas.

I want a king-size
vibrator bed.

I want
a 35 hasselblad,

a Rolls-Royce
convertible

with full power,
air, and four-way
seats.

I want
driving gloves

made from
the underside
of antelope ears,

a bold men's Cologne
for the man who does
something for women,

a cashmere jacket
that's going to
get me there--

get where?

Doesn't matter...

Where the action is.

I want to live a life
of understated elegance.

A hi-fi set with
300 component parts...

And, uh,
vicuna underwear--

a yamaha big bear
scrambler--

and 12 credit cards...

And a window seat
in the first class
of cosmic airlines,

and...

Hmm.

Huh?

I don't think
you'll have any trouble.

Then I had another idea.

This was something.
This was a real winner.

The old man
wouldn't buy it.

There's this guy--
zak rosencrantz--

he's a boss astrologer--
he's got tremendous flair.

He calls himself
madame lavinia.

Madame lavinia?

He's got
this following--

hello.

Hold it.

Cofield here.

Yeah. Right away.
Go ahead.

He wants a pool.
You won't--

hello?

Carlo, ah,
you must come now.

What is the address,
please?

Please, uh, please,
the address.

11872 mountain view road.

Thank you.

Mountain view road,
11872.

I told you
I'd help you.

But we must hurry.

Right.
Be right over.

Carlo.

How do you like it?

Oh, it's terrific.
Really terrific.

This is Mr., uh--

Sam lingonberry.

Carlo cofield.

Wonderful place
you got here.

Man's castle.

I always dreamed
of such a place.

Right.

Well--

he has a deal
for you.

Deals
are only good--

come see the garden.

If they're good
for both parties.

Have a cigar.

We at seaspray pools
have always maintained
a policy

of making sure--

look at the view.

Oh, it's--
yeah, it's very
beautiful.

Right.

And it isn't even
a clear day.

You know,
you can find that--

uh, what's that?

Well, what's
it look like?

Well, it looks like
you started a pool,

and one of our
competitors let you down.

We at seaspray have never
had an incompletion.

I'll tell you something--

we could finish that pool
in two weeks.

That's not a pool.
It's a bomb shelter.

A bomb shelter?

Yeah.
I started digging it

during the eisenhower
administration.

Then I stopped digging
during the Kennedy
administration,

and now I'm wondering
if it's big enough.

Um, Mr. Lingonberry,
you got a family?

Sure.

Then think of your kids.

Build that pool so you
can see them frolicking
in the water.

You got it.

Great. Great.

How marvelous.

On the pool's bottom,
you'll have a dolphin--

you'll be very happy
in this house.

Uh--what?

You can move in
tomorrow.

Didn't you
just buy it?

I'm not buying.
I'm selling.

It's for you.
It's perfect.

Show him
the car.

Wait till
you see the car.

Wait--wait a minute.

I can't afford
a house ora car.

Ah, you're putting
yourself down.

You need
a car like this.

Mr. Lingonberry,
listen, we could put
a fabulous pool--

it's a total dream.

I know you're
going to be sold.

You can't
afford not to.
Come here.

This is a moment
that gives me a thrill
every morning.

Huh? What about this?

Very nice,
but I can't make
such a commitment.

Commitment?
You should do commitment.

All men
should do commitment.

Right. What do you
mean, commitment?

Banks make commitments,
and they're on every corner.

When are you
going to stop running?

You know, this is $27,000
worth of automobile.

Now, it happens I just
took delivery on this one

to make that one
part of the package.

How's your arithmetic?

Not very good.

I've got $100,000 mortgage
on the house.

Now, I've got $75,000
buried in it as it sits.

Buried where?

I mean, it cost me 75,000.

That means I made $25,000
profit on the loan.

Now, I'm going to put you
in the rolls here
at low blue book,

which is 12,500.

Oh.

That means you've got
12,500 coming to you.

Keep it.

Thanks.

Uh, coming to me?

Why would you
want to do that?

Why? Don't you
know anything?

The 12,500 is yours
for buying the house--

the difference between
the 75 gs the house cost me

against the 100 grand
I borrowed against it,

minus the 12,500
for the rolls,

which means...

12,500 for you!

Uh...

You mean, I'm going
to get 12,500 cash?

Yeah.

For me?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

It's crazy.

Homeowners are crazy,
the banks are crazy...

Cofield, can
everybody be crazy?

Where is the rug of--
what you call
the zig-zag horse?

The zebra.

Let's try it in
the corner, please.

That's it.

Carlo, I'll give you
some of my paintings.

Very nice.

Mm, it looks nice here.

Maybe we forget the couch.

What do you think, Carlo?

Carlo...

Um, easy, Harry,
huh?

Nice to see you.

Look out
for the chair.

Just a little
bit further.

Can I give you
a hand?

I've got it,
Mr. Cofield.

Where do you
want it, lady?

In the kitchen.

No way.

Uh, Harry,
tell you what,

I'll plug it in.
You shove it over.

That's the way.
Very good.

Uh...

Almost got me.

Uh, great.

Uh, Harry, are you--
are you alright?

Yeah, sure.

I better
water this.

What do you mean,
Mr. Cofield?

Nothing.
You just looked
a little drawn.

Oh, Laura...

Uh, uh, Laura,
listen,

will you
show Ricardo
where I want...

Carlo.

Carlo!

Hi.

Hi.

It's a...

Beautiful view,
isn't it?

Yes.

Ooh.

Sorry.

You're a...
Skindiver,
aren't you?

I mean--i mean
a skydiver.

Yes.

Yes.

Must be
very exciting,

being a skydiver,
I mean.

I imagine
it would be.

Yes.

My company wants
a publicity stunt--

a parachute drop
into a pool.

In fact, this pool
that we're building
here.

It will be quite
spectacular.

The super galaxy ad,
it would--

it would--it would
pay very well.

Would you be
interested in
something like that?

Carlo?

I'll ask Harry.

Carlo!

Coming!

I'm sorry, Carlo,
if I interrupt,
but, uh--

uh, Laura, don't think
you met Malibu.

Laura califatti.
I remember you.

Yes. You met
at the beach.

Oh, a black
and white awning.

Exactly what I
had in mind.

Excuse US for
a minute, Malibu.

Do i--you know--
do I look o.K.?

What do you mean?

I mean--you know--

do I look tired
or anything?

Tired?

What do
you mean?

Harry, listen, I
wouldn't worry about
what I said before.

It was just
an impression.

I'm probably wrong.

And it's really
not that important.

Yeah, but, Mr. Cofield,
it is important

because I've got this
west coast big boy
contest coming up.

I see. Yes, it
would be important.

Mr. Cofield...

What do you think
about this...Sex thing?

Sex thing?

Isn't it--is it true
what monster says?

Uh...uh, right.

Let's put this
down here.

Thanks a lot.

That'll be nice.

Well, I can only
show you the price
that I have to pay.

Mr. Cofield,
are you sure it's
because of that?

Well, I'm not
100% sure, you see.

It's a very complex
thing.

It has many
medical overtones to it.

Just the other day,
I was talking to
madame lavinia about it.

Wait a minute.

You know
madame lavinia?

I went to school
with her--

uh, with him--with her.

I got a great idea.

Why don't I arrange
a private reading
for you?

I'm sure it
wouldn't hurt.

Excuse me.

This is
Mr. Cofield's
house?

Hi there!

Madame lavinia?

Heck no, it couldn't
hurt, Mr. Cofield.

Right, Harry.
Excuse me.

Well, nice
to see you.

Nice to see you.

This is Harry...
And Ted.

They're helping
me move in.

Helping me get settled.

Oh, I think you'll
love the view.

Yes, it's, uh--
thank you--

a beautiful view.

As a matter of fact,
I think you'll find...

Who is, uh...

Uh, I don't know.

It reminds you
of the east.

Yes, very much.

Tell me,
Mr. Cofield,

how do you happen
to know that
miss cannelloni?

You mean,
miss califatti.

She's an interior
decorator,

and she's helping me
with my home.

Really?
Yes.

I don't know her work.

She doesn't do
a lot of work here.

She usually works
in Rome and Italy,
you see.

That's interesting.

Yes.

Miss Prescott.

Hello.

Rod and I were thinking
of redoing our house.

Maybe she'd like to
offer a little advice.

I don't think so.

Unfortunately,
as soon as she
finishes this job,

she's off
to Rome again.

She's been assigned
a tremendous complex
of tenement houses,

so, unfortunately,
she won't be
available.

Pity.

Yes, it's a pity.

Thank you.

For a moment,

I thought I might
get my money's worth.

I beg your pardon.

You say she's well-known
in Italy, Mr. Cofield.

She's better known at
the a-1 detective agency.

The a-1
detective agency.

You do remember those
miscellaneous expenses
I was talking about?

Yes, mm-hmm.

Well, that
happens to be

the most expensive
little item
on the list.

Hey!

Oh, Harry.

Can I talk
to you for
a minute?

Of course.

Excuse me,
it's Harry.

Yes, Harry?

Malibu tells me
that you want
a jumper.

Jump?

What I mean is,

she's going
to have to have
a new jumpsuit.

Oh. Oh, a jumpsuit.

Yeah.

Oh, yes. Of course.
Right. Sure.

The old one,
it's all torn and--

it's been kind
of worn out from
too much jumping.

Right.

Thank you.

And we--

oh, wonderful.
Thanks for helping
me today. Goodbye.

You see,
it just happens

that I'm looking
for a new manager.

Would you like the job?

Do you mean that
Prescott doesn't own
the company?

No, not one
percentage point.

When I backed rod
in this little venture,

I made sure all the stock
remained in my name.

If I were
to divorce him--

which I fully
intend to do

once I've found
someone to replace
him as manager--

theoretically,
he'd be entitled
to half the shares.

But his monumental
indiscretions

have given me
enough on him

to make sure that he
won't get a nickel.

Would you like
to think about that?

You certainly make
interesting propositions,
Mrs. Prescott.

I didn't go into it,

but there are
some interesting
fringe benefits.

Sleep on it, Mr. Cofield.

Goodbye,
miss califatti.

Marvelous job
you're doing here.

Laura...

Why don't you
introduce me to her?

I can explain
everything.

Who is she?

An old friend.

Your mistress?

I haven't been here
long enough.

What old friend?

You said you
have no friends
in California,

and suddenly an
old friend appears,

and this skyshooter,
she comes, too.

Now you have
many friends,
all women.

No, no, no, no.
Thank you.

At first,
you had nothing.

You need me.
I'm the only friend.

Now you have
new car, new house,
new friends,

even old friends
you have.

Will you please tell me
what's the point?

The point is
that you have--

you're
too clever now.

You forget
your friends
very easily.

I know what
you're doing
to that boy.

What boy?

You try to steal his girl,

the girl
on the beach.

You mean Malibu?

Yes, the boy
with the muscles.

What muscles?

You're a Don zhwan.

Don Juan, you mean.

Where is my purse?

I know what you're doing.

A new house, a new car...

Now you want a new
girlfriend,

so you steal her, yes!

You ruin their lives.

You're a destroyer!

Just a minute.
Just a minute.

You made me
buy this house...

And the car.

And talk about
destroying people,

what about you
and Prescott, huh?

You and Prescott
carrying on.

You homebreaker!

I don't want to see
to you anymore!

Well, then beat it!

[Tires screeching]

Yes?

Oh, uh...
Mr. Rosencrantz?

Yes, i'm
zak rosencrantz.

Yes, uh, my name
is Carlo cofield,
seaspray pools.

Cofield...
Do I know you?

No, we haven't
met, but--

I understand that
you were interested
in one of our units.

Ehh...what
is the date
of your birth?

My birth? June 3rd.

Uh, please
come in, gemini.

[Creaking]

Thank--thank you.

[Frog croaking]

[Typing]

Uh, Mr. Rosencrantz?

One moment, please.

Oh, come up, come up.

[Stairs creaking]

Sit down.

Yes?

You're
madame lavinia?

I am.

Oh.

Oh, yes. I, uh--

according--
excuse me--

according to
my information,

you wanted a pool
shaped in the form

of the star
constellation known
as the "great bear"?

That is correct.

I would have no use for
a pool of another shape.

Of course not.

360 square feet,

and as I specified,
I want the stars
themselves

imbedded in the floor
of the pool

and to pulsate
with an intensity

in accordance
with their actual
heavenly pulsations.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes,

and the entire
constellation bathed,
as it were,

in silvery-blue light,
I should say,

which would emanate
from the niches in
the walls of the pool.

Um...what price
was quoted you,

if I may ask, by
our representative?

19,000.

Ah. And you
had in mind...

12.

Eh-heh. Well, that's
an awful lot of pool

for $12,000,
madame.

My time is very valuable.

It's up to you
to meet my budget.

If you can't do it,
I'll use somebody else.

Uh, no, no, no.

I'm sure that we
can work something
out, madame.

That's why I'm here.

I mean, I would even
consider waiving
my commission.

Now, why, pray tell,
would you do a thing
like that?

Madame, may I
speak candidly?

Yes.

I've got this
rather complicated
personal matter

I'm involved in.

I've a very dear
and close friend--

he's a muscle man.

His name is
Harry hollard,

and he's in
desperate need

of your consultation
and help.

He's an avid reader
of your column,

madame lavinia's
forecast--
the stars and you.

So am I, as
a matter of fact.

Anyway, I thought
that, possibly,

you...and I...
Could, uh...

Work out some
advice for him.

And I thought,
possibly, you
could give him

a private
and a personal
consultation,

you know?

Hmm.

Would that $12,000 include
the filtering system?

Oh, yes, of course,

and the heater.

Yes, hmm...Yes.

Hello.

Hi.

Is anything wrong?

Well, uh...No.

I've just been
to see madame--
madame lavinia.

Madame lavinia?

Yeah. She said that--

who?

Madame lavinia.
She's--she's a man.

Well, she's
an astrologist.

What did she
tell you?

She saved me.
She saved my life,
i--i guess...

And Mr. Cofield.

Ah...mr. Cofield
saved your life?

Then why
are you so sad?

I'm not sad.
It's just that--

well, I, uh--
well, uh...

I, uh--i don't know.

I was thinking about--
about Malibu.

I don't know how
to tell her.

Tell her what?

That madame lavinia
said we can't make love
anymore.

I don't know how
Malibu will feel
about it.

Listen. Do you
want to know who's
responsible for this?

Oh, I know who's
responsible for it.
It's Mr. Cofield.

You know, he's
a wonderful guy.

If it hadn't
been for him,

I'd be finished
in the west coast
Mr. Big boy contest.

I wouldn't have
stood a chance.

I was thinking
about the people

who've been
most influential
in my life,

and there's three,
I figure.

There's my gym teacher
at haskell high,

and then there's my mom,

and Mr. Cofield.

Isn't that nice.

Mr. Cofield, you'll
be pleased to know

I have destroyed
the sex life of
Harry hollard.

Wonderful.

Now, may I expect
my recompense?

I think we can have
an excavation crew
at your house...

In three days?

Two.

Uh, two days.

Grand.

And if you have
any more problems,

remember madame lavinia
holds the secret
of the stars.

Bye now.

Uh, rod, there's
a client I'd like to
have a pool at cost.

It's a, uh,
personal matter.

I'm running
a business here,
cofield,

not a cathouse.

Personal matter?

Anyway, it was
a good idea.

I mean, madame lavinia
and the astrology.

But I think I've
got a better one.

How about a skydiver?
A female skydiver?

She free-falls
from 10,000 feet,

smack in the middle
of a seaspray pool.

TV, press,
the works. Huh?

What if she misses?

She won't miss, rod.

No, cofield.

What if her chute
doesn't open?

We're really
up a creek then.

No. It is out,
definitely
and finally.

Do I make
myself clear?

That's too bad.

We could've gotten
a whale of coverage
on that.

And it was
a good idea.

It still is.

Ethel, when's
the old man leaving for
the convention in carmel?

Malibu, do you, uh--

do you really think
you can land in
the actual pool?

Oh, sure.

Hi, Carlo!

You can, huh? Good.

Um, Malibu,
are you alright?

Fine.

You seem a bit
preoccupied.

Oh, I'll be o.K.

The thing is,
there'll be a lot
of press people...

By the poolside...

And if you missed
or anything...

It would make it
difficult for the,
uh--

well--timing.

Mr. Cofield, do you
find me attractive?

Well...

I mean, if you
were a man...

If I were a man?

Would you be
attracted to me?

I mean, it's Harry.

Harry?

Well, he says
that we shouldn't
make love anymore...

Or anything.

What do you think?

Well, there are
certain authorities who--

excuse me--
who share that view.

I will say this,
though...

I don't think--
I certainly don't think

it's a proper or no--
excuse me. I'm sorry--

normal environment...

For a young, healthy,
and beautiful girl
to be in.

You know?

Mmm...i know.

It can be--

can be dangerous, uh...
For her...Health.

Uh...everything.

I just wish
I understood.

[Playing instrumental
rock 'n' roll]

[Overlapping conversations]

Hold on a minute.
Just hold it a minute.
Over.

Hello?

Barker?

Barker, can
you hear me?

O.k.?

Barker, can
you hear me?

Barker, are you
receiving me?

How's it going?

Fine, fine. It's
a tremendous turnout.

I think we may get
network coverage.

We're about ready.

Switch me over
to the P.A.

Right. Hold on a minute.

Uh...phil...

Can we have
a little quiet please?

A little quiet.
Thank you.

Thank you, girls.
Thank you very much.

Alright. O.K.
You're on.

Ladies and gentlemen,

that world-renowned
Malibu, the skydiver,

is now leaving the airship.

Oh, you should be with US.

It's a beautiful,
beautiful sight here,

overlooking
southern California.

Down below,
you can see--

the, uh--the, uh--
the, uh--

the astonishing,
low-cost--

low-cost--uh--

the, uh--
ladies and gentlemen, uh...

Malib--uh--

ladies and gentlemen,
Malibu is out of--

uhh!

Aaaaaaaaah!

Oh, wait!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Something's wrong
with the plane!

There it is!

Get that camera!

Aah!

Sorry!

Aaaah! Aaaah!

Ngaaaaah!

You're quite safe.

You're perfectly
alright.

Just hold me tight.

That's right.
Hold me tight.

Perfectly alright.

We've got only
800 feet more to go.

Aah! Aah!

[Cheers]

Carlo? Carlo?

Oh! Not Carlo.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm awfully sorry.

Why wasn't I told
he was jumping--

I didn't know this
would happen.

Why was a meeting
called without me?

We didn't call the meeting
without you, Henderson.

What meeting are you
talking about?

The meeting
on Wednesday.

I was there
on Monday.

Was it planned
on Wednesday that he
should jump, too?

It was never
planned.

Just the girl
was jumping.

What happened
Wednesday?

I have no idea!

I wasn't there!

I know you
weren't there!
Why weren't you?

Because I was out
with the plumbing
office.

Whose idea was it?

How would I know?

Tell US how you
felt, huh?

Barker...

Hi, Mr. Prescott.

You look
a little upset.

I want to get
a question in--

I want
an interview!

Henderson!

You two, come here!

Now, let me ask you
one question.

Why? And why didn't
the two of you stop him?

It was
everybody's,
partly.

It was
Mr. Cofield--

don't blame cofield!

But you were
in there.

Would you--

would you get
some clothes on,
cofield?

Mr. Cofield said
if we'd all get
together--

cofield,
leave me alone!

[Mechanical vibrating]

Are you alright?

Do you want me
to take this for you?

Malibu...

Hmm?

Malibu....

Uh, I love you.

You do?

I ador--uh!

Oh!
Oh.

I-I'm sorry.

That's alright.
It's not your...

Your fault.

I...

I adore you.

Ow.

Uh!

Oh.

I-I'm sorry.

That's alright.

Malibu...

I love you, I adore you,
I worship you, i--ppf! Pff!

Come and live with me.

Please...consider coming.
Please c--

[doorbell chimes]

[Chime]

That's Harry.
Harry.

I-I'd...

Better go,
Mr. Cofield.
Yes.

You'd better go.

Uh, Malibu...

Think about it,
won't you?

[Music plays]

[Door shuts,
[Engine starts]

[Doorbell chimes]

[Spanish television]

[Crunching]

En ninguna de los archivos
de los pais se encuentra

ninguna evidencia del ni en
escritura ni en pinturas...

Encontraste con los secciones mas antiguas de Cairo,

del estilo French

se encuentran todas
los comidades...

Thank you, no.

Del lugar como en
las ciudades cosmopolitanes.

Los restaurantes de Cairo...

What's he saying?

I don't know.

...exquisita cocina
internacional.

El viajero tiene a su
disposición

placitos nativos, como
shish kebab yham and eggs.

Cairo es El centro
de la escuela mas...

...la mayoria de los
inhabitantes profesan
la religion mohammedan.

Es notable por sus
templos pintures cos.

Uno de los mas famosos
siendo Muhammad Ali.

Fu construido durante
El reino de Muhammad Ali,

UN miembro
in de la casa de...

Dejamos este bonito
puedo de Egypt...

[Music plays]

Bueñas noches, amigos.

[Tone]

Hmm.

Um-hmm.

That's all there is.

Carlo?

Malibu.

"Gone to the...Movies!"

Hello?

Operator? Yes, listen.

My pool cracked, and i--

my swimmingpool cracked.

Would you hold on
for one minute?

Hold on, operator.

I'll be right back.
Now, hold on.

Hello, operator?
A-About my cracked...

What should I do about it?

There must
be somebody I can call.

Who would you recommend?

The police or
the fire department?

Fine...that'll be fine.

Would you get them
on the line for me,
please?

Well, give me the number.
I'll call. Thank you.

Hey, kid. Sorry
about yesterday,

but I've been so
confused between
Laura and Diane.

Uh, sorry. I can't talk.

Give me
five minutes.

I got my
divorce papers
this morning,

served by Diane.

Thank you,
thank you, operator.

Do you know
what this means?

Hello? Hello, uh,
fire department,

I've got an emergency.

Yeah. Uh, I've got
a cracked pool.

What do you mean?

Call the
police department?

Hurry up.

Well, a-alright.
Thank you very much.

Right.
I'll call them. Right.

Look, I'd like
a conversation--

not now. If you saw
the swimming pool,

you'd see I couldn't
care less. Go look.

Listen, i--

fine, wonderful.
Just check outside.

You'll see that it...
Doesn't make any difference.

Divorce papers?

[Horn honking]

[Honk honk]

[Telephone rings]

Will you--
get the door.

Hello? What? No,
I can't talk to you.

Wait a minute--rod.

Right. Wait a minute.

Rod, it's for you.
It's Laura.

No.
I can't--

h-hello, uh, Laura.

It's me again.

Rod can't talk now,
and, uh, excuse me, dear,

I can't talk either--
an emergency.

Emergency?
But this is an emergency.

Please.
I have to talk to rod.

Would you forgive me?
I'm sorry.

[Hangs up]

[Dial tone]

Yeah.

Hello? Water and power?
I've got an emergency.

My pool cracked
and it's, uh, what?

Diane.

You have that number?
Emergency squad.

Hello, Diane.

Carlo, it's in all
the papers--12 of them.

Look at this one.

Diane--
yes?

Uh, you want
a great follow-up
for your story?

How would you like
"seaspray super
galaxy slab bottom pool

sliding down
the cliff right into
the pacific ocean"?

How would
the consumers' digest
like that?

Our pool?

Hey! Something's wrong
with the pool.

This way.
In the house.

[Squeak]

[Speaking Italian]

And the front door
is stuck.

That door is jammed.

Call the guy
who built it?

I built it!

Rod, do something.

There's a big crack--

Malibu, please--rod!

Rod! Is that you?

It won't open.

We have to talk!

Open the door!
Open!

It's Laura.

Oh!

Aah!

Oh!

Oh!

Look what's happening!

We've got to find
another way to go.

Oh!

Come on!
Oh, oh!

Come on.

Oh, we can't go
through--

oh!

We can't go that way.

Hold on.

Grab the umbrella.

[Carlo]
Wait a minute.

Jump...there.

Oh!

Jump!

Come in the side,
please, in there!

Jump.

Jump.

Jump!
Aah!

Come!

[Creaking]

Oh!

Ohh!

Oh!

Ohhh, Carlo!

Oh, god!

[Diane]
Oh!

[Diane]
Ohhh.

You got an ax or
a crowbar or anything?

Is this any good?

Let's have it.

[Creaking]

Don't anybody...
Move.

UN-ugh!

[Rumbling]

G-Get up.

Ju--uhh!

[Car honks]

[Clang]

[Honking]

[Siren]

They're not coming.

I know
they're not coming.

Because
we don't have--

come se dice?

Priority.

First, they must
take care of the...
Schools.

A-And the hospitals...

And the old people's
houses.

It's like
a ship sinking.

Why didn't
you tell them

there are
three women
in this house?

This morning,
a little man
came to me

and asked me,
"are you miss Laura
califatti?"

And I said,
"yes, I'm miss
Laura califatti."

And he hands me
this paper

who say that--that
I'm adulterer,

and your wife
will get a divorce.

Wh-what
does it mean?

She want divorce
from you?

You bet I do, sweetie.

Y-You are his wife?

Ciao.

Uh!

Laura, Laura,
Laura!

Don't move.

Ahh! Aah!

[All]
Aaaah!

[Laura]
Ohhh, ahhh.

Ooh, ooh!

Are you
alright?

[Mutters in Italian]

Ah!

Are you--

[rod]
Please, get this
out of my--

uh!
Ah!

Diane...

Oh!
Malibu?

Malibu.

I'm up here.

Are you alright?

[Sirens]

Hey!

Come and look.

What are they doing?

They're not
doing anything.

Sorry.

I'm hungry.

[Footsteps]

Laura, excuse me.

Harry.

Malibu?

Harry! Ahh...

I was worried.

I had heard about it
on the radio.

About the house tumbling
down the cliff and all.

So i--i figured
I'd better come over.

What are they
doing down there,
the rescue squad?

They said
they'll get you out
when it's daylight.

Uh, Harry, I'd like
you to meet Mr. Prescott.

Mr. Prescott,
miss califatti.

You know Laura
from the other time.

That's, uh, Mrs. Prescott.
And you know Malibu.

I just came by to see
if everybody's o.K.

We're fine.

And I want to talk
to you, Mr. Cofield.

Right. Ahem.

It's about that
madame lavinia thing.

See, last night i--i
couldn't get to sleep,

and, I don't know...

I guess it's because
I'm not used to being
without Malibu.

Anyway, this morning...

This morning I went by
to see madame lavinia.

Madame lavinia?Yeah.

I thought
there was a chance

she made a mistake
about the sex thing.

Yes, sure.

And you know
what she told me,
Mr. Cofield?

She said
that you bribed her

to say those things
about sex.

And she said...

I must be a moron to
believe that stuff.

You're not a moron.

She's very mad
at you about that.

Why?

You didn't
give her the pool deal.

She'll get it.
There's paperwork.

You can be sure
there'll be a deal.

It's not right
to do those things,
not right at all.

Anyway, you really
shouldn't have done it.

I'm not
being myself.It's not right.

Don't know
what got into me.

I--I'm sorry,
Harry.

I really am sorry.

There's something
I want to say, Mr. Cofield,

so there won't
be any misunderstanding
about it later.

Right.

I want--i want Malibu
to come back and...

To come back
and live in the bus with me

and--and maybe we could,
later on, even get married.

Gosh, Harry.

I'd love to.

Isn't that just
terrific?

Congratulations.

Harry,
I think that--

Laura, isn't
that wonderful?

Go back and
live together.

I'll see
if the rescuers
are around.

Rescue--
ah, excuse me.

What's the matter
with you?

Ohh...

Why is it so simple
for some people?

Well, because they're
simpleminded. That's why.

You're all heart, rod.

Rod is not as...
Bad as you think.

He's not, huh?

He can be gentle.

And...you--you
are just as stupid
as I am.

I don't like
to look at who I am.

I am a...Kept woman.

And I...I know that
rod doesn't want
really to marry me.

How 'bout
coming back to work
for seaspray pool?

Oh, ho.
Not on your life.

I wouldn't
go through that again
for 50% of the company.

How about 51%?

Plus an open-end
expense account

so that you could
carry on with those
miscellaneous expenses

which your crumbling ego
seems to require.

When the papers come
about the divorce,

I knew I didn't
want to marry him.

I guess if you start
looking at things,
uh, realistically...

You'll never
fall in love.

I mean, you--you
just reject the people
you can't stand.

See who's left,
if anybody.

I think you
are going to
make a pass at me.

Ha. No?

[Laughs]

Considering
our record so far,

that's probably the most
self-destructive thing...

I could possibly do.

[Creaking]

Aah!

Here we go.

[Rumbling]

Aah!
Aah!
Aah!

Carlo!

Please.

♪ Malibu is calling you ♪

♪ her days are nice
and warm ♪

♪ you can find
excitement ♪

♪ any size,
shape, or form ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪

♪ la la ♪

♪ don't make waves ♪♪